I cheated on my husband.

page views:1 Publication date:2023-04-15

I'm 32 years old. We've known each other for almost ten years, from when we met until we got married. My husband was my first man, and our married life was pretty good at first. Before we got married, I told him I couldn't get pregnant, so we didn't have children. Everything was quite peaceful. But in the past nine years, so many things have changed! It's like he's completely disrupted my life and mine! We've been through so much together: bank debt, Aaron's debt, infidelity, a mistress, family health issues. Just when things were starting to improve, he dragged me down again. I'm so scared! I'm so afraid I'll mess up this hard-won life, and maybe even destroy the marriage I've worked so hard to build! I really don't know what to do!!!
The incident happened on the eve of Valentine's Day this year. My husband said he was going out for drinks with old friends and would be back around midnight. I waited until after 2 AM and he still hadn't returned, so I called him. The phone rang, and he said he still had some drinks to finish and would be back soon. It was past 3 AM, and the phone had rung on the dial tone, but no one answered. I started to worry! I called again… and he answered. I asked him where he was, but he kept stammering… It was very quiet on his end, so it couldn't be a drinking place! Later, my gut feeling told me he was lying to me!
I drove around looking for him. I'd heard him say he'd be drinking at a certain pub. Eventually, I spotted his car parked near the hotel. I called him, but his phone was off. I waited, staring at the hotel entrance, hoping it wasn't what I was thinking. No one can understand how I felt. Around 4 a.m., a familiar face emerged from the hotel, followed by a woman. I got out of my car and ran straight to him. He saw me too, and we started arguing and even fighting. I was devastated. Finally, I pressed my hand against his chest and said, "If I were in his shoes today..." "Come out, how do you feel? For so many years, I've endured and accepted your coldness towards me. I've given you enough. From now on, when you see me leaving a hotel with another man, don't be surprised, and you have no right to interfere. Everything is your fault today." Afterwards, I ran back to my car. A car passed by, and I really wanted to be run over by it, to die and be done with it, to avoid so much pain. But I didn't. I drove home and arrived at 5 o'clock. I lay in the living room, my head throbbing. Recalling the scenes from just now, tears streamed down my face. Soon after, he also came home and went to his room. We didn't say a word to each other.
The next day, we changed our clothes and went to work, listening to the radio along the way.
As the touching Valentine's Day song played, I was really angry, and tears streamed down my face without my realizing it. I don't know how long I cried, but the song went something like, "Thank him for giving me an unforgettable Valentine's Day gift."
That day at the company was really tiring, not from the work itself, and I hadn't slept well last night, but mainly because I was still very angry! It was past 5 o'clock, almost time to leave work, when I suddenly had a whim to get drunk. I decided not to go home after get off work, but to drink alone overtime. Maybe 6 o'clock was still early! There weren't many people, so I went to a corner and sat down, ordering a cocktail—I don't even know what it was, but it was sweet and a little spicy. I don't usually drink, but I have a pretty good tolerance; I can probably drink 3-4 bottles of beer. I finished that one in about ten minutes, then ordered another… Maybe it was because I was a girl sitting there drinking alone, but a tall, 180cm, 30-something-year-old foreigner slowly walked over, stood in front of me, and asked in very fluent Chinese, "Miss! May I sit down?" I looked at him, wondering if it was the alcohol? Or… he really was quite handsome! My heart suddenly started racing. He saw that I was just looking at him without making any move. "Excuse me, miss, I see you're all alone. How about we chat and make friends?" I was almost out of breath. "Sure, please have a seat!" He introduced himself as someone who had lived in Johor Bahru for almost ten years and worked as a manager at an American company. We chatted for a while, and I finished my third drink. I told him I was a little drunk and wanted to go home. He then thoughtfully asked if I had eaten dinner since I was drinking so early. I realized I was actually quite hungry! He suggested that he treat me to the food at the pub, so I ordered a steak. After dinner, I had already had my fifth cocktail… I was definitely about 80% drunk! I was about to leave when he grabbed my hand and asked, "It's not 10 o'clock yet, it's still early! Why don't you come to my place, sit down, listen to some music, and relax?" (I had told him I had argued with my husband, but I didn't want to say too much, so I only told him we had argued!) Of course, I knew what would happen if I went, but at that moment I really didn't know whether to say "yes" or "no!" I just stared at him blankly… He just smiled and said, "Common, take it easy!" His house was nearby, about a 3-minute drive. On the way, he kept talking about his things, but I didn't hear a word... my mind was completely blank! When we got to his house, I sat on his sofa. He turned on the stereo and played some soft jazz, then poured me a glass of red wine. He sat down next to me, and I felt really drunk. Suddenly, he hugged me and kissed me on the lips! I don't know if it was the alcohol or a feeling of revenge, but I didn't know how to react at all; all I could feel was my heart pounding and my breathing rapid! I don't know how long we kissed, or how I went from sitting on the sofa to lying on the carpet, seemingly naturally wearing only my underwear. He sat up and said, "Let's take a shower first!" I really wanted to say "no," that I didn't want to continue! But I just said, "I'll shower by myself, not with you!" Then he led me into the bathroom, and after we finished showering, I wrapped myself in a towel and came out. I sat back down on the sofa. He said, "Take a break! I'll be done showering soon!" I drank a few more sips of red wine, thinking, "Whatever, I'm already..." so I didn't want to think about anything. Actually, I don't know if it was the alcohol or the person, but I was still drunk and couldn't think about anything. I just closed my eyes and listened to music to relax. It felt really fast. He came out with a towel wrapped around his lower body, sat back down next to me, and started kissing me again, starting with my mouth, then my neck, my chest... He kissed my whole body. His tongue was really amazing. When he kissed my genitals, I really experienced what an orgasm was like. I felt like I lost control of my bladder! That intense feeling was suffocating, I was out of my mind, and my whole body felt out of control! I felt like I was dying and coming back to life! He held me and kissed me very gently, but I could only breathe and my mind went blank... He continued to kiss my face gently... and asked me, "Can I give him a taste?" I looked at him and smiled as an answer. He pulled off the towel wrapped around his waist, and I saw that his genitals were erect. I was really scared... I was really a little scared! I said, "Yours is too big, I'm afraid I can't handle it!" It's bigger than my husband's, at least 3 to 4 times bigger! That's something you only see in porn! I really wanted to put my clothes back on and leave right away... It was terrifying! He hugged me and said, "Don't worry! I'll be very gentle with you." He started his kissing assault again... I softened again, and when he was about to penetrate me, I was really conflicted, both scared and eager! He slowly thrust in and out, a wonderful pain, an unprecedented fullness, every thrust reached my cervix, and when he started thrusting rapidly, all I could do was twist and scream.
We've been married for almost ten years, and the longest I've ever had sex with my husband is only about ten minutes! He changed positions several times, and it turns out that it's true that women can have multiple orgasms. After more than an hour of thrusting, I had two more orgasms. When he finished, I tried to sit up, but I was completely weak, and my legs were still shaking. It looked like I had spilled several glasses of water on the carpet, and the worst part was that there was a large wet patch on the coffee table from my ejaculation…! We drank two more glasses of red wine, chatted for a bit, and he gave me his phone number, saying I could contact him anytime. Then he took me to a taxi home. I got home close to 1 a.m. My husband saw I was reeking of alcohol, and I just said, "I'm drunk, I don't want to talk to you!" I took a shower and went straight to bed. It was exhausting; I was so sleepy because of the alcohol, but I could also feel his penis thrusting in and out of me... Maybe I was still reliving the perfect sex we had just had... I told myself it couldn't happen again... A week later, I still didn't talk much to my husband. He avoided the topic of divorce, and I was unhappy every day. The scene of my husband's betrayal kept replaying in my mind: how he kissed that woman, caressed her, rubbed against her, the way she climaxed—all those scenes in bed. I couldn't let it go.
A few days ago, I finally couldn't take it anymore and called that foreigner. I said I just wanted to say hello and apologize for making such a mess of his house the other day. (Of course, it was just an excuse.) He asked if I was free that evening to have dinner with him. (That was obviously my intention.) I immediately agreed, and after dinner, it was almost 9 pm. He said, "Want to come to my place?" I said, "I'm so sorry... I made your house filthy last time!" He thought for a moment and said, "How about we find a quiet place to rest?" Of course, I had no objection, and we went to a hotel. I even told him that it was my safe period that day, so we didn't need a condom. I could feel the hot, forceful thrust against my cervix when he ejaculated... it felt like every thrust was going straight into my uterus! We did it for over two hours, and he brought me to the brink of ecstasy multiple times. Now I know what "ecstasy" feels like! I know I can't keep making this mistake; I have to end this relationship. Is this revenge, or shamelessness...? But... I've already become averse to intimacy with my husband! He simply can't give me what I want! I used to be easily satisfied, but now... I've experienced what true sex is really like, something my husband can never satisfy! I don't know what to do!

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I cheated on my husband.

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