[No. 10 Yandaixie Street] (02-07) Author: Jianzou Pianfeng1219

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-24

Author: Sword Takes an Unconventional Approach 1219
Word Count: 26159
Act 02 The Most Unwelcome Guest on Earth
I'm a Handsome Guy: Hey, handsome guy, are you there?
Heart123: Hello handsome guy, I'm here
. I'm a Handsome Guy: You flatter me, I'm not as handsome as you!
Heart123: ...
I'm a Handsome Guy: I have a question for you.
Heart123: Please
go ahead. I'm a Handsome Guy: Last time, the last time I went...
Heart123: Hmm.
I'm a Handsome Guy: You know who I am, right?
Heart123: Yes, last time you came you brought two female chinchillas ^_^
I'm a Handsome Guy: ...Yes, that's me.
Heart123: Go on, do you need to buy chinchilla supplies?
I'm a Handsome Guy: No! I haven't finished the freebies you gave me last time.
Heart123: Then what is it?
I'm a Handsome Guy: Can you breed with me?
Heart123: ...
To say that there are people in this world who are born with oxygen deficiency in their brains is no exaggeration.
Hang Hang firmly believed that he had learned this lesson from Liang Ze. Actually, speaking is an art, and it doesn't necessarily have to be face-to-face.
Even typing is an art; it can fully reveal a person's personality. People who speak tactfully are generally
more worldly and sophisticated; people who use a lot of emojis when they speak are generally more insecure; people who speak directly are generally more open-minded
; and people whose words make you want to slap them the moment they open their mouths—their thought processes are definitely unique.
Who asks like that—"Can you breed with me?"
Anyone should say: "Can you introduce me to a breeding program for my chinchilla?"
What do you mean, "I can breed with you!"
If I can breed with you, then your two female chinchillas can breed too! ==
Liang Ze on the other end of the internet kept asking, and Hang Hang frowned, taking out the customer contact book.
Obviously, if this wasn't addressed, it wouldn't be clear, and it would drive him crazy.
Liang Ze was squatting on a chair, teasing the chinchilla, his eyes fixed on the screen, when his phone suddenly rang.
Damn it, who is this? This couldn't have come at the worst possible time!
"Hello?" Liang Ze answered the unfamiliar number with a hint of annoyance. He'd been pondering this for over a month,
feeling it would be unfair to leave his two female chinchillas to live out their lives alone. After much thought, he remembered
the male chinchilla Hang Hang had shown him last time—it looked lively and cheerful. Could he perhaps…?
"Hello, is this Mr. Liang?"
"Yes, this is me. Who is this?"
"This is Hang Hang."
"Who is Hang Hang?"
Hang Hang, holding the phone, suddenly felt stumped. This question was like the chicken-and-egg dilemma.
This guy was a real jerk, taking the business card without even looking at it? In his anger, Hang Hang thought for a moment and decided to embarrass Liang Ze
: "Didn't you want to breed with me?"
"Ah! Ah, ah, it's you. Yes, yes, I want to breed with you, yes!"
Hang Hang chuckled. This kind of person was just taking advantage of his sweet talk.
"What are you laughing at? I'm being very serious, I just want to breed with you!" Liang Ze said
, bewildered. "..." Hang Hang's laughter died down. He didn't feel like he'd fooled him at all; instead, he felt like he'd made a fool of himself.
"Let me tell you," Liang Ze said, still teasing the totoro while holding the phone, "you showed me last time, your male organs are quite
complete, you're not very old, are you? Have you bred before? How much does it cost?"
"Mr. Liang," Hang Hang couldn't take it anymore, "I'll correct you a little."
"Hmm?"
"Don't keep saying 'you,' please say..."
"You?"
"..."
"Okay, you showed me last time, your male organs are quite complete, you're not very old, are you? Have you bred before?
How much does it cost?"
"Yes... your totoro, can you please include the word 'totoro'?"
"Uh..." Liang Ze was stunned, then slapped himself on the head. "Cough! Yes, yes, I'm paying attention, hahaha
... you understand now!"
I can't believe you can laugh like that, Hang Hang thought, staring at the ceiling, trying to clear his head.
"I have two females, you know. I was thinking, if there's no male, they'll be so lonely. I thought
of yours, you see..."
"I don't know, it's selective, it depends on Kaka's attitude."
"Huh? You have to discuss it with your girlfriend?"
Hang Hang wanted to hang up. To be honest, his biggest regret was making this call. Well, he got a free trip
around Mars, a true Martian!
"Hello? Hello? Your signal is bad?" Hang Hang didn't speak for a long time, and Liang Ze thought the call had been disconnected.
"Kaka is my Totoro."
"Ah? Oh, then what's with the attitude? Can't we lock them together?"
"Would you go into heat if I locked you up with a woman?" Hang Hang glared angrily straight ahead, his fierce eyes
sending chills down the spine of the little dog in the cage directly in front of him.
"Could it be a sexy busty girl?"
"..."
"Actually, anything is fine, I'm not too picky."
"..."
"Hello? Hello? Hey, why aren't you saying anything again?"
Liang Ze carried the large cage into No. 10 Yandaixie Street again. It was neither early nor late, six o'clock,
the time when Hang Hang was about to have his meal. He had even exchanged a glance with the girl who delivered the food before entering.
Hang Hang's brain skipped a beat when he saw Liang Ze, and then he hesitated.
"Handsome, you need to get a new phone. Your phone is unreliable. First, it kept not being able to hear me, and then the ringtone started
acting up too, didn't it?" Liang Ze put the cage on the counter and wiped the sweat from his forehead.
Okay, this guy has practically come to visit. What can you do ?
"Are you in heat?" Hang Hang tried to be as friendly as possible.
"What's heat?"
"..."
"Well... isn't it possible anytime?"
"That's you."
"Oh, you mean males are always okay, but females aren't?"
"..."
"Handsome, are you in a bad mood today? Why are you so quiet?"
"I'm alright." Hang Hang took a sip of water to calm himself
down. "Did you have a fight with your girlfriend? Let me tell you, you don't need to take it too seriously. Girls are easy to coax
..."
"Say something about your Chinchilla." Hang Hang gripped the cup tightly.
"Chinchilla, don't rush me. Let's talk about you. You always look so unhappy... Even though we're not close, we're both men.
Let's exchange experiences, it's okay."
"I don't have a girlfriend!"
"Oh dear, look how old you are, still embarrassed about this? You're not a middle schooler anymore."
"A female Chinchilla's estrus cycle is generally 28 to 35 days, lasting four days each time. She'll expel a
small piece of white waxy substance, which is usually hard to notice because they eat it. So you need to observe carefully."
Hang Hang decided to get to the point.
"Eaten it?" Liang Ze was quickly led astray. "It's so dirty to eat!"
"...It's a physiological habit."
"Oh. Then..."
"Does your chinchilla currently have this kind of secretion?"
"I haven't noticed."
"If you're considering mating, what breed would you choose?"
"I've seen yours, yours is pretty good, oh, no, your chinchilla, hahaha..."
Hang Hang frowned slightly. "Thank you...that's not up to you to decide, they need to get to know each other first."
"How do we get to know each other? Set up a love nest?"
"May I ask...what's your profession?"
"Oh, cough, you see, I haven't even introduced myself, hahaha...I'm a novelist."
Hang Hang didn't expect him to actually answer; this was clearly a dig at him! But as soon as she heard he wrote novels, she couldn't help
but speculate, "Wuxia?"
"No." Liang Ze laughed, watching Hang Hang use sweet potato chips to coax the Totoro Ikkyu out. That was
the name she left behind when she was pretending to be male. The other one was called Xiao Yezi.
"Fantasy?"
"No." Seeing Ikkyu being put into another cage, Liang Ze couldn't help but ask, "What's this?"
"Let her get acquainted with Kaka through the cage."
"Oh."
"Fantasy?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you write fantasy novels?" These were the three novel genres that Hang Hang could barely associate with Liang Ze
.
"I write literary novels."
Hang Hang had just gotten Xiao Yezi, and this stimulation almost made her throw at him like a punching bag.
"Doesn't seem like it, hahaha... My friends all say so too!" "
Then their opinions are very reliable."
"Uh."
Xiao Yezi was placed next to the other Totoro.
"That's fine. Let's see if they click."
"Oh. How long will it take?"
"It's uncertain. We'll take it step by step. Right now, we're just getting them used to each other. If they like each other in a few days
, we can move them closer together."
"Huh? Where am I supposed to live?" Liang Ze stared wide-eyed at Hang Hang.
"What did you say?" Hang Hang had to repeat himself; he felt like he was hallucinating. You? Where are you supposed to live
? Where are you supposed to live!
"I'm saying, they're only moving one centimeter a day, what am I supposed to do?"
"What do you mean, what are you supposed to do?"
"I can't leave them!"
"..."
"But it's not good if I take your Totoro with me, they don't recognize me, and..."
"Obviously, they should stay, and you go home."
"I... Ikkyu! Little Leaf!"
"What??"
"Oh, this one's called Ikkyu, and that one's called Little Leaf."
"..."
"You didn't like Ikkyu when you were little?"
"...It's okay."
Liang Ze frowned, pondered for a long time, and finally gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, "For Ikkyu and Little Leaf's happiness!
I'll endure it. How about this, I'll come see them at this time every day!"
"At this time?"
"Yes, I usually get up at three in the afternoon, play with them all day, eat at six, and only start writing in the evening
."
"So you'll come at three?"
"No need, six, I'll eat and then take a walk back. I was just saying I should exercise more!"
"..."
"You ordered lunch for me today too? How did you know I was coming at this time? Oh, braised pork, I love
it..."
"I..." Hang Hang was almost crying. Last time, this kid ate Hai Hong's lunch. Hai Hong smiled helplessly and said, "
It's okay, I'm on a diet."
"It's getting cold, let's eat together."
"I..."
"Oh, by the way, how much does it cost to breed a chinchilla? Do I pay now?"
"No, there are no extra fees, we only charge a boarding fee."
"Oh, how much is it per day?"
"30."
"Okay, how many days do you want me to pay you now?"
"Pay later is fine too."
"Sure! Then, I'll pay for my meals later too?"
"..."
"Don't be shy, handsome, even close brothers keep clear accounts. By the way, you shouldn't have eaten such greasy food, my stomach
..."
"Hmm?"
"Look!" Liang Ze said, lifting his tee, "Look at you, your abs are almost gone, you're so out of shape
!"
The wind chimes at the door rang, and Ms. Li, a regular customer, came in carrying her Pomeranian, just in time to see Liang Ze showing off his belly to Hang
Hang. That posture was so weird ==
embarrassing...
Act 03 The Helpless Regular Customer
I am a handsome guy: I accidentally saw a pornographic comic while searching for information online this afternoon! Angry!
Love123: Hahaha, is it good?
I'm a handsome guy: Lots of blank spaces...
Love123: ==So that's why you're so resentful.
I'm Handsome: What's there to be resentful about? I know what it looks like even without drawing it. Heart123:
...
I'm Handsome: I'm just really annoyed that this kind of payment is too easy to earn, it saves so many strokes compared to regular comics!
Heart123: ...
I'm Handsome: What are you doing?
Heart123: Watching the shop.
I'm Handsome: Am I bothering you?
Heart123: I'm doing online transactions with some clients.
I'm Handsome: Hahaha, so it's not bothering you? We're just chatting on Taobao!
Heart123: ...
I'm Handsome: Sigh, it's three o'clock, I have to go to the gym, I can't chat with you anymore, you're not mad at me, are you?
Heart123: Go on your way...
At exactly 3:30, Liang Ze arrived at the gym on time. As usual, there weren't many people. As usual, the gym
instructor came over enthusiastically again. Liang Ze tried to pretend he didn't see him, but the man greeted him.
To be honest, you can't really say anything bad about this coach. He's enthusiastic, professional, always has a smile
on his face, and is incredibly patient and experienced. The only problem is… Liang Ze doesn't like him much because he always seems
to touch him, intentionally or unintentionally. At first, it wasn't a big deal: arms, thighs, abs… all perfectly normal contact.
But as time went on, something felt off. He'd intentionally or unintentionally grope Liang Ze between the legs.
"You're on time again today," the fitness coach said with a gentle smile.
"Ah! Haha…"
"Still following the original plan?"
"Well… uh, I want to swim today."
"It's not good to interrupt the plan; it'll be harder to achieve the desired results."
"I…"
"You have to stick to it. You can't run away just because it's hard work. You don't want abs anymore, do you?" "
…Okay."
And so, Liang Ze had no choice but to follow the fitness coach to the equipment room again.
The equipment room was unusually quiet today. Usually, there would be one or two people, but today there wasn't a single one. Liang Ze
looked around, feeling that this situation was a bit… unreliable.
"Let's start with arm strength training."
"Oh, okay..." Liang Ze nodded.
The first twenty minutes went smoothly, and Liang Ze gradually relaxed. But then, as he lay on the machine
to work his leg muscles, the gym instructor came over and pressed down on his legs. "Don't slack off."
"Ah, hahaha...yes!"
Those hands traced along his legs, and just as they were about to move between his thighs, Liang Ze jumped up.
"What's wrong?" the gym instructor asked sternly.
"Uh, ah, it's like this...I suddenly remembered I forgot to make a phone call."
"We'll talk about it after our workout."
"No, no, it's important." Liang Ze said, getting up and running towards the door.
"Here, you have to follow my instructions."
"Yes, yes, I'll be quick, just five minutes!" Liang Ze flung open the door and left.
Running all the way to the locker room, Liang Ze opened his locker, his mind a complete mess. What to do? This person is clearly
acting strangely, this...this is so unreliable! But he couldn't afford to offend him; they'd run into each other all the time, and besides, that
gym membership had cost him nearly 5,000 yuan!
Just as he was racking his brains, his phone rang twice—a text message notification.
Liang Ze took it out and saw it was from Hang Hang.
[Good news! Little Yezi and her fiancé have developed a great relationship. I just put them in the same
cage; you'll see them when you come over!]
Without thinking, Liang Ze dialed Hang Hang's number.
Hang Hang had just finished sending the text and put his phone on the table when it rang. He picked it up and saw it was Liang Ze.
"Hey? Aren't you at the gym?"
"Damn it, handsome, you have to help me!"
"Huh? Help with what?"
"Well... you know..."
"Oh, you want to ask about Ikkyu and Kaka? They're still the same, don't rush them."
"No, no! Damn it, how am I supposed to explain this!"
"You... what's wrong?"
"I, I was at the gym..."
"Yeah, I'm curious why you called me."
"It's like this..." Liang Ze leaned against the locker and coughed, "It's about my coach... he...
"
"Slacking off?"
"No." "
Does he ignore the other customers?"
"No."
"Harsh?" Hang Hang considered all the possibilities.
"No, it's not!"
"Then what is it?"
"He keeps touching me for no reason!"
"Hahaha...you're ticklish?"
"Damn it! It's not about being ticklish, it's that he keeps touching my penis!"
"..."
"Uh, sorry, I'm being vulgar again, but I really can't stand it!"
"This...this is sexual harassment."
"Is he out of his mind? I'm not a young lady, why would he touch my balls between my legs!"
"You should just tell him you're not interested, and ask him to be more respectful, remember to be firm!"
"But...but, the key is..."
"Hmm?"
"I don't dare offend him..."
"Huh?"
"After all, we see each other all the time, and I can't waste my gym membership on this..."
"Ah...yes."
"That's why I'm anxious, hey, handsome, can you think of a way for me!"
"This..." Hang Hang's mind raced, and a brilliant idea struck him, "How about this, you tell him you're the top."
"What? Top? What does that mean?"
"Just tell me."
"No, explain it to me, I don't quite understand. Will saying this really help?"
"Yes! Hey, I have to go now, Miss Zhu is here with Superman."
"Oh, say hello to Miss Zhu!"
"..." Hang Hang's face turned green. This guy... really...
Liang Ze had been reporting for duty at six o'clock every day for the past two weeks, with such a calm and composed attitude that many regular customers
asked: "Business is good, Hang, you've hired another helper, it must be much easier now, right?"
The moment he hung up the phone, Hang Hang suddenly had an evil thought—why not let a muscular man train him!
Liang Ze put away his phone, locked his locker, and came out of the locker room. "
I'm top." What kind of spell is this?
Back in the weight room, the gym owner was still waiting, and there was still no one else in the room.
The two continued, and when the guy started to get restless again, Liang Ze said seriously, "I'm top."
The gym owner was stunned for a moment, and his resolute face immediately changed to a soft and charming expression. "Honey, I
knew it all along." As he spoke, he pounced on him.
"Holy shit!" Liang Ze completely broke down. ==
Liang Ze barged into No. 10 Yandaixie Street before 5:30. The wind chimes at the door rang loudly. Hang Hang
looked up and was just about to ask who was being so rude when he saw Liang Ze storm in, his face full of anger.
"Uh... the food delivery guy hasn't arrived yet..." Hang Hang was stunned.
"Handsome! You're bullying me!" Liang Ze went straight to the cashier and slammed his hands down in
front of Hang Hang. "You're deliberately trying to ruin me! I almost died of disgust!"
"Huh? What?" Hang Hang was dumbfounded.
"I said I was the top, and that guy pounced on me, kissing and groping me, saying
things like, 'Honey, I knew it all along, honey, I'll satisfy you properly, honey…'"
Hang Hang quickly covered Liang Ze's mouth, pressing him down while bowing and scraping to
the regular customer, Grandma Ma, with a smile, "Grandma, please choose, and call Haihong when you're done."
"Waaah… Hang Hang! What are you doing!"
Liang Ze was dragged out of the pet shop with his mouth covered. Before leaving, Hang Hang exchanged pleasantries with Grandma Ma, calling out to
Haihong and asking her to come out and look after him.
Liang Ze was dragged up to the second floor. Hang Hang unlocked the door and pushed Liang Ze inside.
"Handsome! What are you doing!" Liang Ze glared at Hang Hang as he entered the room.
"Nonsense! How am I supposed to do business if you keep yelling at me like that?!"
"Damn it! Honestly, handsome, you've screwed me over! Do you know how disgusting I was? His saliva all over
my neck!"
Hang Hang looked at Liang Ze, desperately trying to hold back his laughter and offer some comfort and guidance, but he just couldn't help it.
Just imagining a muscular, fresh-faced Daily C mascot wriggling and lunging at Liang Ze made him... how
hilarious that scene would be!
"Handsome, what's wrong? Why the expression? Is your stomach upset?" Liang Ze noticed Hang Hang's contorted face
and asked with concern.
"Hahahaha..." Hang Hang couldn't hold back any longer and burst into maniacal laughter.
"Oh my god, what are you laughing at? Are you out of your mind? Please, I've had
enough of that today."
Hang Hang was still laughing, and Liang Ze scratched his head, feeling dizzy.
This was Liang Ze's first time going up to the second floor. He had noticed the second floor before, but didn't know what it was for. Today he
finally saw it; it turned out to be a place where people lived. Wow, so tidy and stylish! Especially the view from that
slightly ajar window, the entire Houhai area is laid out before you.
It's a large living room with a thick carpet, a spacious sofa, and modern Western-style furniture.
The space, over forty square meters, is bright and airy. Another door extends from the living room, presumably leading to the bedroom.
"Handsome, stop laughing. Do you live here? It's quite nice." Liang Ze had already forgotten about that weirdo
gym-goer and casually walked to the window to look outside.
You see, his house had never been this tidy before. Although the cleaning lady came every other day, with his ever-
growing collection of useless things, even a god couldn't keep it this organized.
Hang Hang tried to catch his breath and stop bursting into laughter. You know, knowing Liang Ze, while troublesome, had
also brought a lot of joy, making Hang Hang's otherwise mundane life more colorful.
"Hey, you seem to be having a great time living here."
"It's alright." Hang Hang calmed himself down and took a can of Coke from the refrigerator for Liang Ze. "Calm down."
Liang Ze then remembered why he had rushed here in such a hurry. "Damn it, it's all your fault
! What kind of curse was that! That bastard was like a madman!"
Hang Hang wanted to laugh again, but managed to suppress it. "I didn't expect it either."
"You... handsome, you can't be so irresponsible! So you're the one being harassed? You
try letting him kiss you until he's drooling!"
"I'm not interested." Hang Hang shrugged.
"Nonsense! I didn't either! That guy's a monster, I don't know what kicked his brain!"
"Drink Coke, drink Coke, quiet down, let's go downstairs, I'm still on duty."
"I said, what exactly is that 'top' thing?"
"Uh..."
"I'm asking you, answer me!"
Hang Hang was weighing his answers in his mind, if he told the truth, he would definitely...
"Hey, handsome, what are you spacing out for?"
"Oh, actually it's a way of communication among Italians," although it wasn't
very nice to lie to the simpleton, Hang Hang still decided to give him a white lie. The simpleton had been quite traumatized today, so he shouldn't kick him while he was down. If he told the truth later, it would be
a small matter if he ran away, but a big deal would be lost. "Saying this means, I'm sorry, I'm not a pervert, I'm
normal."
"Huh? Then why is he even crazier?" Liang Ze looked at Hang Hang.
"Uh... well, maybe he's just too twisted."
"Yeah, very likely." Liang Ze nodded. "Anyway, I'm giving up on the equipment and deciding to start yoga tomorrow.
The saleswoman recommended it, saying it's very effective for belly fat!"
"Okay." Hang Hang nodded, glanced at Liang Ze, and suddenly a scene flashed before his eyes: a group of petite women
learning yoga with an instructor, interspersed with a large man...
very strange.
Liang Ze calmed down and went back to the pet store with Hang Hang, ate together, and played with his chinchilla for a while.
Things had mostly returned to normal. Many customers came to shop in the midsummer evening, and Hang Hang felt quite
relaxed with Liang Ze's enthusiastic help. Liang Ze greeted everyone with a smile, working tirelessly and enthusiastically for the customers. Hang Hang suddenly thought, "It would
be great if Liang Ze came every day to be a freeloader." But… of course, that was impossible. Once his little leaf and Yixiu
had finished breeding, he wouldn't come so often. He felt a little disappointed.
Around nine o'clock, the number of customers in the shop gradually decreased. Hai Hong went into the preparation room to clean, and could
leave early if there was nothing else to do. Liang Ze chatted with Hang Hang while happily playing with the Totoro. Suddenly, he stopped.
Hang Hang was startled. "Why did you stop talking?"
"I suddenly remembered that I haven't shown you the results of my work over the past two weeks. Look, my belly!"
He suddenly lifted his t-shirt. "How is it? Not bad, right?"
"You…"
"What? Can't see? Wait until I take it off." Liang Ze said, pulling down his t-shirt. Hang Hang was practically
fainting. Coincidentally, just as the three strokes of the character "寸" (cun, meaning inch) were about to be written, the wind chimes at the shop entrance rang, and Hang Hang's childhood friend
, Qi Ji, led his golden retriever, Meng Nan, in. "Uh..."
Qi Ji froze, and Hang Hang froze too. "Uh..."
Liang Ze turned around abruptly, saw the man and dog enter, and immediately felt embarrassed.
"Why are you here?" Hang Hang greeted him.
"Ah... I... I was just thinking of going out to eat, so I said I'd bring Meng Nan over for a bath. I'll
come pick him up in a bit..."
Qi Ji was speaking to Hang Hang, but his eyes were still fixed on Liang Ze. This guy...
Liang Ze sensed something was seriously wrong. The customer must think he was a pervert. Offending Hang Hang's customer was a serious matter
! His mind raced, and while putting on his tee, he said, "Sir, I'm the top! Really,
handsome guys can vouch for me!"
According to Hang Hang's explanation, Liang Ze firmly believed he was fashionable—saying, "I'm not a pervert..."
Qi Ji, holding the muscular man, was completely stunned, his features contorted in disbelief. "Xiao Hang...you..."
Hang Hang's hands were clenched into fists; if they hadn't curled, he bet all ten fingers would have
been around Liang Ze's neck!
Honestly! His reputation was ruined by this idiot! What am I supposed to prove? Prove
you're the top? What am I then?
A little brat!
Act04 is a lunatic.
I'm handsome: Hey, handsome! Are you there?!
Heart123: ...You got up really early today.
I'm handsome: I was woken up!
Heart123: Oh?
I'm handsome: My washing machine, brand new, is already broken!
Love123: No way!
I'm Handsome: All the merchants in the world are heartless!
Love123: ...
I'm Handsome: Oh, handsome, you're not one of them, you're the most honest!
Love123: What's wrong with your washing machine? Have you contacted the manufacturer?
I'm Handsome: I have, but the line is always busy!
Love123: What are the specific symptoms?
I'm Handsome: It's making noise! And it's really loud!
Love123: Huh? During the spin cycle?
I'm Handsome: No!
Love123: During the rinse cycle?
I'm Handsome: No!
Love123: During the water filling cycle?
I'm Handsome: No! It's silent during these times!
Love123: Then when does it make noise?
I'm Handsome: When it's finished washing!
Love123: You're crazy!
I'm Handsome: What is that?
Love123: It's a notification that the wash is done. ==
I'm Handsome: What do you mean by crazy?
Love123: Is your input method tiring to find words?
I'm Handsome: ...
(Ten minutes later)
I'm Handsome: Hahahaha, I know, it's a lunatic!
Heart123: ...
I'm Handsome: Hey, my old washing machine didn't make a sound!
Heart123: That's because the model is more advanced, it promptly reminds you when you can hang your clothes to dry.
I'm Handsome: I don't want it to make a sound!
Heart123: Then return it!
(Five hours later)
I'm Handsome: Handsome!
Show yourself! Heart123: Going back to sleep?
I'm Handsome: No, I haven't slept at all. I've called the manufacturer countless times, and they just
won't give me a refund because the product is fine! These people have no conscience!!
Heart123: ...A complete lunatic!
"Hello!" Liang Ze pushed open the door of the pet shop and came in with a smile.
Hang Hang was introducing a cat tree to a customer and nodded at him.
Seeing that Hang Hang was busy, Liang Ze didn't disturb him but went directly to find his chinchilla.
Ikkyu and Kaka remained ignoring each other across the cage, occasionally giving each other a little scuffle. Female chinchillas are generally
more robust than males, and Kaka trembled every time Ikkyu pounced. Liang Ze watched for a while and noticed something was wrong with Kaka; there was a small, 　　round
bald patch on its head. 　　What happened? 　　Liang Ze reached out to touch Kaka, but Kaka jumped away. 　　Rejected, Liang Ze pouted and reached for Xiao Yezi. 　　Xiao Yezi and the unknown chinchilla X-kun had already moved into the same room. Since it was daytime and chinchillas weren't very active 　　, the unknown X-kun lazily leaned against Xiao Yezi's back, the two snuggling together in a very warm and cozy way. 　　Liang Ze gazed at the pair, wanting to play with them but afraid of disturbing them. Just as he hesitated, Xiao Yezi opened its eyes. 　　Perhaps smelling its owner's scent, it groomed its fur and jumped over. 　　Liang Ze was overjoyed and gave it some sweet potato chips. 　　X-kun watched for a while, then hesitantly came over. Liang Ze gave it another piece of dried sweet potato. 　　X-kun carefully and quickly snatched it, jumped onto the hammock with the snack in its mouth, and ate while watching Liang Ze. The piece of sweet potato disappeared ...

The loss was surprisingly fast. After finishing his meal, X-kun glanced at Liang Ze again. Liang Ze was playing with Xiao Yezi, and out of the corner of his eye
, he noticed it. It shakily approached, tentatively rubbing against Liang Ze's fingers. Seeing Liang Ze smile, it
confidently began to show affection.
"Hey! It seems to like you." Hang Hang, having seen off the guests, stood beside Liang Ze, quite surprised.
X-kun was an enigmatic figure. Yes, that's right. Totoro only recognizes one owner in its lifetime, so they must
be sold when they are very young, at the latest within four months. If too much time passes, they will recognize you as their owner, and
the customer will be unable to take them away. Speaking of which, X-kun is already two years old this year. Whether it's cursed or for some other reason
, totoro are being taken away one after another, but it's been ignored. Originally, Hanghang planned to raise both X and Kaka himself
, but this X-
kun disliked Hanghang. The reason was simple—he was closer to Kaka, and X-kun was jealous.
Thus, X-kun became a unique presence in the pet shop: ignoring people and spending its time eating and sleeping.
Hanghang was the one who fed X-kun, and every time he opened the cage to put food in, X-kun would stay far away from him. It remained motionless during the day
, but at night, when Hanghang couldn't see it, the food would be completely devoured. Hanghang had considered letting it communicate with Kaka,
but after just one night of trying, Kaka fell ill—with alopecia areata.
Alopecia areata can occur in various animals, including humans, and when they experience great stress or
anxiety, they develop patchy baldness. This disease is fatal for chinchillas because chinchillas have
the most hair follicles of any animal, with each follicle containing thirty to forty soft hairs, making baldness quite unsightly.
Hanghang spent a long time treating Kaka's alopecia, until… the arrival of Ikkyu.
Yesterday, he noticed that Kaka had gone bald again…
“Yeah, I didn’t expect it either. It seems to really enjoy playing with me,” Liang Ze chuckled.
In Hang Hang’s eyes, Liang Ze possessed a certain indescribable animalistic charm, evident from his two female chinchillas
. They rarely fought and were both incredibly affectionate with him. Chinchillas aren’t like ordinary pets such as dogs or cats
, naturally inclined to be close to people. Many people have chinchillas for seven or eight years with only a superficial bond.
But Liang Ze was different. His chinchillas had only been with him for a year and a half, yet they were already incredibly close—was it because this guy was so naive and posed no
threat?
“Hey, handsome, I’ve been watching Xiao Yezi and this one for so long, why aren’t they mating?”
“Nonsense! Do you want people watching you do your thing?” Hang Hang’s nose practically twisted.
“Me? Hahaha…the more people watching, the more excited I get!”
“…” Hang Hang didn’t know what word to use to insult him; even calling him an animal would be an insult to an animal!
"When do they usually mate?" Liang Ze asked.
"Late at night when it's quiet."
"Oh, so how does it start?"
"Usually they'll kiss first, sniff each other's genitals, and then chase each other."
"Hahaha...there's foreplay, huh ?
" "..."
"How long does mating last?"
"Very short, just a few seconds, then they separate and groom themselves."
"Is that pleasurable?" Liang Ze looked at Hang Hang seriously.
"I want to lock you in the warehouse!"
"Uh..."
Hang Hang turned to the cashier, and Liang Ze suddenly remembered Kaka's abnormality, "Hey, handsome! Your Kaka is
balding!"
Hang Hang's hands clasped together, his knuckles cracking.
"Is it sick? Have you taken it to the vet? Have you given it medicine?"
"It's not sick..." These words were squeezed out stiffly from between Hang Hang's teeth. This is what they call "bringing up
the sore spot" ==
"What is it?"
"Scared by Ikkyu!"
"..."
There weren't many customers today, and Hang Hang let Hai Hong leave at ten o'clock. Liang Ze was still
upset about the washing machine incident that morning and didn't want to write anything, but he stayed in the shop with Hang Hang until 10:30.
The two cleaned the shop together, locked the door, and came out. Hang Hang felt hungry. The dinner provided braised pork ribs.
Liang Ze quickly finished his portion and then stared at Hang Hang's bowl.
Hang Hang had a habit of saving his favorite food for last, which was a disadvantage. Because he also loved pork
ribs, he deliberately saved them for last, only to be met with Liang Ze's dog-like eyes... His kind nature exploded to the extreme,
and he generously gave the pork ribs to Liang Ze. Liang Ze was happy and quickly finished them all without any guilt...
Hang Hang felt sorry for him!
"Are you hungry?" Hang Hang put away his keys and looked at Liang Ze.
"Not bad, are you hungry?"
"Yeah, a little."
"Who told you not to eat properly tonight!" Liang Ze said righteously.
Hang Hang wished he could slap him across the face—of course,
how could he have an appetite for cabbage, shredded potatoes, and garlic sprouts?
"Let's eat something together." Liang Ze said, walking towards the gate.
"Yeah, let's eat something." Hang Hang agreed, "What do you want to eat?"
"Whatever you want! I don't eat anything!"
"Hmm, I can tell, a typical omnivore."
"Hahahaha..."
"Then let's go somewhere nearby, there's an old shop in Gulou that's really authentic."
"Okay!"
When they arrived at the braised offal shop, Liang Ze's face darkened. He'd never been a picky eater in his life, except for pork offal!
"You... a braised offal enthusiast?" Liang Ze looked at Hang Hang incredulously. In his mind, people who liked this
stuff were usually alleyway hustlers, rough old men, and so on, but Hang Hang didn't seem to
fit any of those stereotypes at all. Hang Hang was refined, handsome, and had excellent manners. Why did he love this stuff so much?
"Yes, I really love it. I've been craving it just thinking about it today." Hang Hang smiled, pushing open the door. "You
like it too, right?"
"Uh." Looking at Hang Hang's happy face, Liang Ze swallowed the word "no."
"Uncle Li, two bowls of braised pork!"
A rough-looking old man's face peeked out from the shop window. "Hey! Hang Hang! Closing early today?"
"Yes, early."
"Okay, wait for me!"
Liang Ze sat down; the smell of the braised pork alone was enough to make him faint.
"This place is absolutely authentic!" Hang Hang was about to launch into a speech when he saw Liang Ze take out a cigarette and light it.
"You smoke?" He had never seen Liang Ze smoke before.
"Yeah. Haha, yes." Liang Ze laughed.
"Never seen you smoke before..."
"Of course, with so many animals in your shop, I feel embarrassed." Liang Ze scratched his head. "You don't mind, do
you?"
"Oh, it's okay, I don't mind."
"What were you about to say?"
"Look at my brain! I was thinking, this shop, you know, it might not look impressive, and it's not famous,
but! Let me tell you, it's just as good as Xiaochang Chen's, the taste is top-notch." Hang Hang's face lit up when he talked about his favorite braised pork
.
"Here you go!" The shop owner brought over two bowls of braised pork offal and slammed them onto the table. "I even
added extra large intestines for you!"
"Thank you, sir!"
Hang Hang took the bowl, added vinegar and chili, and eagerly started eating.
Liang Ze watched Hang Hang, his chopsticks moving around, but he couldn't eat a single bite.
Hang Hang quickly finished his bowl, looked up at Liang Ze, whose bowl was still overflowing.
"You..."
"I..."
"Aren't you hungry?"
"This..."
"Tell me."
"I don't eat this..." Liang Ze frowned but still told the truth.
"...You should have said so earlier! Uncle Li, three liang of steamed buns and a bowl of bean porridge! Their steamed buns are great too."
"Okay..." The old man peeked out, "Would you like an extra bowl of braised pork?"
"No need, it's enough!" Hang Hang said, taking the bowl in front of Liang Ze, "Try their steamed buns later,
I guarantee you'll come back next time."
"Sorry..." Liang Ze rubbed his nose.
"Huh?" Hang Hang, with a pig's heart in his mouth, looked at Liang Ze in confusion.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you."
"What are you talking about? Some people like this, some don't, it's... a matter of choice."
Liang Ze was stunned. No one had ever accommodated him like this before. When his group of friends got together, they never considered whether he
liked it or not. For example, that bullfrog hot pot... Liang Ze didn't eat a single bite, but he still had to obey others.
"Steamed buns, hot. Bean porridge, extra sticky today!" The old man brought the food over.
"Eat, hurry up, it's especially delicious!" Hang Hang laughed.
"Okay." Liang Ze laughed too.
Liang Ze didn't know if he and Hang Hang were considered friends. Shop owner and customer? That didn't seem right. He would often look for Hang
Hang. Friends? It seemed like neither of them had ever defined the other that way. Then...
"I'll steal one of the buns." Hang Hang picked up a meat bun with his chopsticks.
"Eat!"
Why think so much?
What was Hang Hang's saying again?
--Deep well lunatic!
"Hey, handsome, I've been staring at Xiao Yezi and this guy for so long, why don't they mate?"
"Nonsense! Do you want people watching you when you're doing your thing?" Hang Hang's nose was crooked.
"Me? Hahaha... The more people watching, the more excited I get!"
"..." Hang Hang didn't know what word to use to curse him. Calling him an animal would be an insult to an animal!
"When do they usually mate?" Liang Ze asked.
"It's late at night."
"Oh, so how do they start?"
"Usually they'll kiss first, smell each other's genitals, and then chase each other."
"Hahaha...there's foreplay, huh?"
"..."
"How long does mating last?"
"Very short, just a few seconds, then they separate and groom each other."
"Is that even enjoyable?" Liang Ze looked at Hang Hang seriously.
"I want to lock you in the warehouse!"
"Uh..."
Act05 Er Lengzi is sick...
I'm a handsome guy: Urgent!
Heart123: ...As the law commands?
I'm a handsome guy: Can you please tell me how to open a can?
Heart123: ==
I'm a handsome guy: You don't know either?
Heart123: I know!!
I'm a handsome guy: Then tell me quickly!
Heart123: How do I know you're not fooling me?
I'm a handsome guy: Fooling me?
Heart123: How could you not know how to open a can?
I'm a handsome guy: I really don't know how, *cries*, my can of yellow peaches! Ahhhhhh!
Love123: ...Do you have a screwdriver?
I'm Handsome: Yes!
Love123: Pry open the can by the side, the air will come out and you can unscrew it.
(Three minutes later)
I'm Handsome: Handsome! You're not just handsome, you're a genius!!
Love123: You've eaten it?
I'm Handsome: Yes! It's delicious!! Thank you!!!
Love123: Can I ask you something?
I'm Handsome: What?
Love123: Is this your first time eating canned food?
I'm Handsome: No!
Love123: How did you usually eat it?
I'm Handsome: Before? I'd smash it and eat it with the glass shards! Of course, I'd pick out the big ones. The small
, fibrous ones, I couldn't do that.
Love123: ...
I'm Handsome: Thanks!
Love123: You're not serious, are you?
I'm Handsome: Yes! I'm too weak to smash it today, I think I have a bit of a fever.
Love123: Huh?
I'm Handsome: You're busy, I'm logging off, going to sleep. 88
Love 123: Hey, are you okay?
I'm Handsome: Don't worry, I'm fine. Just a cold. See you this afternoon!
Hang Hang stared at the screen, his fingers lightly tapping the desktop. A fever?
These past few days have been getting chilly, and he always comes from the gym, sweating buckets in his t-shirt. When he leaves,
the night breeze picks up, and he's bound to catch a cold.
Does he have any medicine at home? Can he take care of himself?
Hang Hang felt a little strange; why was he so worried about that simpleton?
It was midday, the sun was blazing, and sunlight streamed into the room through the window, falling on Hang Hang. The air conditioning was off
, but it was still quite hot, with only an old electric fan creaking and groaning.
Lost in thought, he heard the wind chimes at the door ring, followed by the heavy panting of the big dog, and then, "What are you thinking about
?"
Hang Hang looked up, smiled, and closed the dog's chat window. Qi Ji had invited him to bring a "macho man" over for a bath the day before yesterday.
"No, I didn't rest well yesterday."
"Oh?" Qi Ji smiled, about to say something, when Cui Yingying came out of the warehouse, "Ah, Qi Ji, hello!"
"Hey, hello, busy?"
"Not busy, not busy," Cui Yingying said, coming over to give the 'muscular man' a good rub, "Muscular man, time to take a shower..."
"Just received some stock, it's a bit messy." Hang Hang came out from behind the cashier.
"Let's go in and wash. Xiao Hang, I'll sort the stock later!" Yingying pulled the 'muscular man' into the preparation room.
"It's okay, I'll get it done in a bit, you go ahead and do your work.
" "If the 'muscular man' bites your skirt again... I'll hit him." Qi Ji added.
"Want to sunbathe together?" Hang Hang opened the shop door.
"Sure, perfect for a smoke." Qi Ji nodded.
There was a refreshing breeze in the courtyard, a lush ailanthus tree, and thick, meadow-like grass.
The stone path extending from the doorway was winding and short, but enough to create a certain ambiance.
Hang Hang and Qi Ji sat down at the wrought iron table. Qi Ji lit a cigarette and looked up, peering at the slivers
of sky through the dappled shadows of the trees.
"Busy lately?" Hang Hang asked with a slight smile.
"Not too bad, just a little too much work."
"Your 'a little' is always someone else's 'special'."
"Hahahaha..."
"Take it easy, don't stay home for three days straight and nobody's aware."
"Yeah, I won't, hehe..."
"You're just giving me empty promises."
"Hey, isn't that a bit much? You can't just do whatever my mom tells you to keep an eye on me, can you?" "
I haven't been keeping an eye on you enough..."
"Hey!"
"Really, you need to get some rest."
"Stop talking about me, talk about yourself!" Qi Ji was never a match for anyone in a verbal battle, not even his
childhood friend Hang Hang, the only one without communication difficulties. That's just how he was; in middle school, he was even suspected of having autism. Actually,
he was just not very good at communicating with people.
"Me? What are you talking about?" Hang Hang didn't quite understand.
"...I can't help...wanting..."
"Wanting to do what?"
"..."
"Tell me."
"Gossip a bit..."
"Huh?"
"What...what's your top doing?"
"Damn!" Hang Hang almost collapsed onto the grass.
"Tell me...do you mind?"
"I have nothing to do with him!"
"Oh? How come it seems like we do?"
"Really, he's just a customer of mine. His Totoro wants to breed, so he keeps coming over."
"No need, right? Just leave it here." Qi Ji smiled.
"No way, he can't live without his Totoro!"
"But...I've seen him for almost a month now...it should be..."
"But they haven't bred yet!"
"Fine, okay, if you don't want to admit it, fine."
"Hey! What do you mean by not admitting it!"
"What does he do for a living? Doesn't coming over every day interfere with his work?" "
He said he's a writer..."
"A writer? What does he write?" Qi Ji was taken aback. This was practically a colleague—he was a history translator.
"It's supposedly a literary novel," Hang Hang said, genuinely unaware of what Liang Ze actually wrote. Or rather,
he didn't consider him a writer at all; he just didn't seem like one.
"A literary novel? What's it called?"
"Never read it, don't know."
"I'm asking you, what's his name?"
"Liang Ze.
" "Who?"
"Liang Ze."
"Impossible?!" Qi Ji's glasses nearly fell off.
"...This...do you know this guy?"
"My God, do you believe it? This guy's a genius, he'll definitely rise to the top in no time!"
"That's unbelievable..." Hang Hang was glad he'd changed his contact lenses.
"Come on, let's go inside, I'll Google it for you!"
At 7:30, Hang Hang finished reading Liang Ze's award-winning work—"Meng." The 70,000-80,000-word novel completely changed his
opinion of him. It was unbelievable that this thing was written by that simpleton! The story spans a long period,
from before the Cultural Revolution to the Reform and Opening Up, reflecting a man's experiences over most of his life and showcasing humanistic reflections…
Liang Ze didn't come today, missing his favorite dinner time, his favorite Totoro time, and
his favorite braised pork ribs.
Hang Hang hesitated for a moment, then called Liang Ze anyway. That simpleton seemed to live alone too; he shouldn't be
like Qi Ji, sick for three days and three nights, almost dying, before anyone found him…
The phone rang for a long time before someone answered. The other person sounded weak, "Handsome… I'm sorry, I'm
delirious with fever… I forgot to tell you I'm not coming today… I can't come… I can't come…"
He was clearly delirious with fever. "Did you take fever reducer?"
"No… I don't have any at home…"
"Why didn't you go to the hospital?"
"Too much trouble, I'll just tough it out…"
"…Where do you live?"
"Huh?"
"I'm asking where you live!"
"Ah! Don't worry about me, you're busy…"
"I'll close the shop and come see you in a bit. You need to take your fever reducer, or you'll become an idiot."
"Ah? No way... becoming an idiot is terrible."
Hang Hang really wanted to say—you're already stupid enough, any more and you're beyond help—but he held back.
It's too mean to tease a patient. "Yeah, you can't become an idiot."
"Um... I live at the Imperial College, Courtyard A30, Building 3, Gate 1, Room 301."
Hang Hang hung up the phone and started checking his watch. Only forty minutes had passed. He was a little anxious,
an anxiety he couldn't quite explain. Perhaps it was because he was used to taking care of people and animals: the person was Qi Ji, a childhood karmic entanglement; taking care of animals
was his profession. In short, he just couldn't calm down at this moment.
"Haihong," Hang Hang said, grabbing a light jacket and getting up. "I have some things to take care of. Watch over for a bit, then
close the shop when no one's around."
"Okay, sure." Haihong, who was playing with the cat, smiled and nodded. "You go ahead."
Hang Hang didn't drive but walked. Firstly, parking was difficult at the pharmacy, and secondly, he wanted some peace and quiet.
The pharmacy was practically empty. Hang Hang bought some medicine, got a prescription, and then left.
Guozijian Street is lined with locust trees on both sides, and the painted archways at the east and west ends of the street and on both sides of the Guozijian gate are
the only remaining ancient street in Beijing with four archways. In the past, it was the highest administrative organ for national education and
the highest institution of learning established by the state.
Hang Hang was familiar with this place. He used to come here often with Qi Ji, and it was also a necessary route to go to Yonghe Temple to burn incense.
It was easy for him to find Er Lengzi's hideout. You wouldn't believe it, but it's a suitable place for him to live, after all, he's a cultured person. Although
Hang Hang would never admit it. Perhaps the human brain really does have different sections. I wonder if Er Lengzi
threw all his brainpower into the artsy section, resulting in such a life-idiotic and incompetent state.
He knocked, but no one answered. Hang Hang knocked harder, wondering if Er Lengzi was fast asleep.
Five minutes later, the door finally opened. The opening of this door was like the opening of the gates of hell, making Hang Hang shudder.
What was this person dressed like? —A leopard-print pajama set, utterly tasteless.
"Hello, handsome…" Liang Ze said weakly, "Please come in."
Stepping into this room was like stepping into the gates of hell. What kind of ghostly place was this? —Upon entering, there was a
demon-revealing mirror (the Socratic Mirror), a gaudy contraption on a solid wood display shelf that looked like a deer and a horse (Tang Sancai
), a plush monster on a backless sofa (a teddy bear), and next to it, an old-fashioned Chinese table and chairs,
piled high with tattered porcelain (Japanese tea set)...
Hang Hang couldn't bear to look anymore.
"Handsome, you're off work early? It's not even ten o'clock yet." Liang Ze ran his hands through his hair into the bedroom.
Hang Hang had no choice but to follow. "Yes. There weren't many customers today."
"Sigh, you must have lost money, right?"
Liang Ze's bedroom was even more eye-catching for Hang Hang—leopard-print bedding, an wrought iron bed, a Western-style wardrobe, an indescribably
uniquely shaped single sofa, and so on and so forth…
"Handsome, I'm feeling pretty unwell, you sit here by yourself…" Liang Ze burrowed under the covers, his eyes red and swollen from a fever
.
"Take your medicine first." Hang Hang looked for a cup on the bedside table. He couldn't find the cup, but he did see a porcelain bowl.
"Where's your cup?"
"Oh, on the bedside table, this one." Liang Ze said, pointing to the porcelain bowl.
"Uh..."
"The water dispenser is that on the table..."
Hang Hang looked over, and wow, Doraemon! ==
After serving Er Lengzi his medicine, Er Lengzi leaned against the headboard, explaining his collection. Although his eyes weren't exactly
piercing, he was quite energetic. "This, ha, and this one too, the single sofa you're sitting on, I found it
at the market in Notting Hill. Creative, right? Hahaha... There's only one like it in the world."
Hang Hang nodded helplessly, thinking—thankfully there's only one. How disgusting! Mass production could bankrupt
a Microsoft!
"And that one on the table, that's a feather on the head of an American native."
No way! == Hang Hang coughed. "You should lie down and rest. You need to sleep more if you have a fever."
"Handsome!" Liang Ze suddenly grabbed Hang Hang's arm. "You're such a good person! I'll rest, you can look around by yourself
. You can touch every item!"
Looking around? I'm crazy! Hang Hang thought to himself but couldn't say it aloud. "Okay, lie down."
Liang Ze quickly fell asleep again. Hang Hang looked at his leopard-print pajamas and bedding with disgust, completely baffled.
Although Liang Ze was a bit slow, he usually dressed quite tastefully when he came over. How come his home was so...postmodern? Postmodern
was just politeness; he was basically...a king of no taste!
Once his breathing had stabilized, Hang Hang thought it wasn't a big deal and was about to leave when...
"I love you!" Liang Ze suddenly pounced on him, hugging Hang Hang tightly.
"What?" Hang Hang was shocked.
"Little Leaf..." This was Liang Ze's second sentence.
Liang Ze was having a dream. He dreamt that Little Leaf had grown very big,
exactly like the Totoro in Miyazaki Hayao's movie "My Neighbor Totoro." It was hugging him, warming him, and comforting him.
"I'll just shave your head bald, you can become Ikkyu and go find Little Leaf." Hang Hang was speechless with anger.
He tried to pull him away, but Liang Ze was hugging him too tightly, his entire weight pressing down on him.
"I should have just stayed on that disgusting sofa," Hang Hang thought, utterly annoyed. Now, he
couldn't get rid of this idiot no matter what he tried—
Liang Ze was burning up and kept trying to kick off the blankets. Hang Hang was awkwardly held by him, trying not to wake him,
and not to let him get too cold…
What kind of curse was this?!
He couldn't leave, and he couldn't sleep either. After searching for a while, Hang Hang saw the laptop on the table
. He'd use it as a prop. With an incredibly difficult grip, Hang Hang successfully reached the laptop. It was in standby mode, requiring a password.
What could it be?
Hang Hang tried: Little Leaf.
No.
Ikkyu.
No.
Then what could it be?
A sudden inspiration: Shin-Emon.
Passed.
Hang Hang instantly thought—I'm a genius. But within three seconds, he wanted to cry: How could he be thinking the same thing as this idiot?
Has it caught up with the times? Isn't this a sign of decadence?
A document was open, titled: Flowers Never Fade.
It must be Liang Ze's novel.
Hang Hang pushed the document to the top and began reading.
It was a story that took place in Shanxi long ago, about a woman surnamed Bai, how she fought for a place in a patriarchal
world, how her money exchange operated, her widowhood,
the bandit who robbed her, their love story, all the way to the woman's eldest daughter…
The story ended abruptly when the eldest daughter turned eighteen and the woman surnamed Bai fell seriously ill.
Hang Hang turned to look at Liang Ze beside him—"I'm handsome, okay, pretty handsome."
He exclaimed, "The moment I fell in love with you, to say I wasn't moved would be dishonest."
Act06 Good Friend
: I'm handsome!
Heart123: ...Every time I see those two words I…
I'm handsome: Hahaha, don't be modest!
Love123: = =
I'm a handsome guy: Hey... um, about this morning...
Love123: Don't worry about it, I understand.
I'm a handsome guy: Yeah, understanding is everything!
Love123: Is your fever gone?
I'm a handsome guy: Yes!
Love123: You still need to be careful, keep it covered up.
I'm a handsome guy: I understand, um... um, also...
Love123: Go ahead
. I'm a handsome guy: When I woke up this morning, I thought about it, and I feel like I'm always causing you trouble...
Love123: I'm patient...
I'm a handsome guy: I hope I didn't exhaust you to the point of internal injury?
Love123: Hahahaha! How could I? I
'm a handsome guy: Sigh, I was worried
. Love123: No, you're funny
! I'm a handsome guy: Thank you! By the way, have you seen my collection?
Love123: ...
I'm a handsome guy: Is there anything you like? I can give it to you.
Love123: No need, you can keep it safe, I appreciate it^_^
I'm a handsome guy: Then... what do you think of my place?
Love123: ...It's good.
I'm Handsome: No flaws? Feel free to offer any opinions!
Love123: To be honest?
I'm Handsome: Of course! What's there to hide between us? We're so close!
Love123: Everything's good, except for that leopard-print pajamas, I really didn't find anything offensive.
I'm Handsome: Huh? Don't you think it's cool?
Love123: = = It's more like a fig leaf...you could call it raw beauty.
I'm Handsome: ...
Around 2 PM, the shop was quiet. Everyone was taking a nap, including Cui Yingying. Hang Hang, however,
wasn't sleepy, and was surprisingly energetic. He started playing Spider Solitaire, but halfway through, he felt his mind wander. That morning...
that thing was too close to disaster.
Speaking of which, he still couldn't stay awake yesterday, and fell asleep while leaning against something. He woke up naturally in the morning by his biological clock. The bed
was hot, and the body pressed against his back was even hotter. Something was pressing against him. Hang Hang was still half asleep
, his mind hazy. The person was pressed so close, and that thing against him was rubbing against him, making him instinctively
reach his hand behind his back.
It wasn't Hang Hang's fault; anyone waking up in an unfamiliar environment, especially an adult, would think it was
the night after a one-night stand.
The thing he held was hot and erect, and its owner was emitting muffled moans with his movements
, quite provocative.
The leopard-print blanket saved the day. Hang Hang wanted to turn around to kiss and plunder it, but when he slightly opened his eyes, he
saw the entire bed covered in leopard print, and then… a tasteless, clueless guy in leopard-print pajamas.
That instant was like a thunderbolt; Hang Hang not only stopped, but his hand immediately recoiled as if he'd touched a biochemical substance.
To be honest, it wasn't the face that extinguished his desire, it was purely the leopard print…
a huge shock.
His mind couldn't even register who the person was; he only knew that the leopard print was incredibly tasteless. After calming down, Hang Hang,
while resentful of the leopard print, was also grateful to it—doing it on this simpleton would have been even better than encountering the leopard print…
Perhaps his movements were too exaggerated, for the bed shook violently, and the simpleton actually opened his eyes.
They stared at each other for almost a minute, then the simpleton scratched his head, lifted the covers to look down, and then let out a soft
"Uh…"
Hang Hang was shocked, afraid the simpleton would know what had just happened. But before he could even think of a solution, the simpleton
rubbed his eyes and said, "I had a wet dream…"
Hang Hang nodded mechanically, looking at Liang Ze, who smiled awkwardly and nodded as well. Unfortunately, the physical reaction
showed no signs of abating.
"I'm going to the bathroom," he said, getting out of bed and leaving.
Hang Hang stared at the ceiling for a minute, then at the disgusting single sofa, another minute,
then at the Doraemon water dispenser, another minute, and finally… his eyes darted out of the bedroom.
What would he look like masturbating?
The thought struck him, and Hang Hang immediately jumped out of bed, left a note, and left.
This was serious; he seemed to have really taken a liking to this simpleton.
This… shouldn't be the case, right? But… his concern for him seemed to go beyond what a shop owner and customer should.
It seemed like waiting for the simpleton to open the door every day had become a habit, life seemed exceptionally pleasant with him around, and…
the slight sound of the running wheel startled Hang Hang. He looked up at the shelf; Little Leaf seemed to have woken up and was happily
playing. It was strange, really. These two had only been dating for roughly three months, and had been married for almost two
months, but… they weren't a good match!
What kind of hint was this?
Was God deliberately letting Liang Ze appear every day?
Hang Hang never believed in fate; every year he went to the Yonghe Temple to burn incense, always accompanying Qi Ji. He always teased
him—burning incense so devoutly, waiting for Buddha to send a Lin Daiyu down from the sky?
Alright, it seems this isn't a matter of sincerity, but rather a matter of opportunity, like winning the lottery—whoever gets lucky gets lucky.
Qi Ji's Lin Daiyu didn't fall, but he did get a few bruises on his head = =
After becoming an adult, Hang Hang basically didn't have any serious relationships with anyone; most of his relationships were one-night stands.
Qi Ji had analyzed the reasons for this many times, wondering why the nice guy Hang Hang didn't have a proper attitude towards relationships. But just because Qi
Ji didn't know didn't mean Hang Hang himself didn't know. Some wounds from youth can follow a person for life.
When Hang Hang was a sophomore in college, he met someone in a chat room. They hit it off immediately, and their relationship progressed smoothly after meeting in person.
The other person was a senior at the Central Academy of Fine Arts, and with plenty of free time during graduation, they spent a lot of time together. Hang Hang liked
the way he played the piano, liked his slender fingers, and liked his delicate features typical of southerners. Looking back now, that first
love was basically beautiful, if... well, if it hadn't ended that way. This guy went to Germany
for graduate school after graduation. Before leaving, he made countless promises and sweet words to Hang Hang, but less than three months later,
things changed. He couldn't reach Hang Hang by phone, didn't reply to letters, and finally only received an email
—a breakup message. Actually, a simple breakup wouldn't have hurt Hang Hang much, but what was infuriating was
that the email said: "Can you please stop contacting me so persistently? It's suffocating. It's unnecessary
. We were just companions." Hang Hang was furious. After reading the email, he called the guy's apartment. Coincidentally, the guy
answered. Hang Hang questioned him, but the guy said, "Why take this so seriously?" Hang Hang said, "I am very
serious." The guy said, "You're really childish. Let's not be so awkward after all this time. I gave you
what you wanted, but it was all just fleeting pleasure."
This whole affair lasted less than a year and a half to two years, but it left Hang Hang with an indelible shadow
—this circle had no room for emotion. So afterwards, he only chose people he could stand, and everyone
just casually hung out, and by dawn they were all number 23.
Hang Hang had loved animals since he was a child, and studying veterinary medicine in college made him love them even more. After the traumatic experience, he
loved them even more. Animals are kind; if they like you, they like you, until death do them part. You spend
a part of your life with a pet, but the pet spends its entire life with you.
But… is there really no expectation? Or is it that without expectation there is no disappointment? Then… there will always be a glimmer of surprise,
right?
Why do I feel a little fondness for that simpleton?
Hang Hang thought seriously.
To be honest, he hadn't known Liang Ze for very long, and they weren't particularly close friends, but he could
sense a trace of animalistic nature in him—exceptionally kind, exceptionally innocent, so innocent that he almost lacked many of the negative
traits of humans. He was always straightforward, uncalculating, indifferent to gains and losses, unambitious, and direct. He always
laughed heartily, was unconcerned with details, and said whatever he thought… No wonder the most capricious and
decisive rodent in the world, the chinchilla, liked him so much. ==
This seemed to explain part of why Hang Hang had some feelings for him, but not the whole story— Liang Ze wasn't his type. He was a typical straight man, 　　the only type of person
Hang Hang considered untouchable . 　　Eccentric. 　　"Hello!" 　　With the sound of the wind chimes, Liang Ze cheerfully entered the pet shop. 　　Hang Hang's eyes nearly popped out—why was this sick man so happy? 　　"You…" 　　"I'm better! I missed Ikkyu and Xiao Yezi so much!!" Liang Ze went straight for his chinchilla. 　　His hands had been behind his back, but when he changed direction, Hang Hang saw the box behind Liang Ze. 　　Liang Ze had woken up again around 4 PM, covered in sweat; his fever had subsided. Once he felt better, he got up and saw 　　a note on the bedside table: "[Remember to take your medicine and get some rest. Hang Hang]" 　　He then remembered Hang Hang had come to see him yesterday, and the awkwardness of that morning. No man had ever woken up and 　　slept next to him before—either himself or with some girl. He wasn't bothered by the physical reaction to those, but… what 　　was even more infuriating was that his little brother wouldn't settle down this morning, and he'd had to go to the bathroom. 　　This was incredibly unreliable. Thinking about it carefully, ever since he'd sent Yixiu and Xiaoyezi over, his life had become incredibly healthy 　　—he'd wake up around noon, play for a while, bother Hang Hang a little, then go to the gym, then 　　go to the pet store on time, leave at ten, and write in the evening… a never-ending cycle. All sorts of social gatherings had vanished from his 　　life: drinking parties, dinner parties, rave 　　parties, KTVs… and so on. He'd never been this healthy since he started writing! This 　　feeling isn't bad, it's actually quite good. He's more organized and his thinking is clearer; he won't wake up drunk to find 　　some random woman next to him. Ever since his three breakups, his older brother forbade him to find another girlfriend, and his life had been 　　a mess—nobody cared for, just lonely and isolated. But ever since he met Hang Hang, life seems to have a purpose again. 　　Visiting him every day is now a must! They should be considered good friends, right? Although the foster care fees still 　　have to be paid in full… 　　and even more precious is that he had someone to take care of him when he was sick for the first time! Liang Ze had just begun to understand the world 　　when his parents died in a plane crash. His only remaining family was his older brother, eight years his senior. That year, 　　his brother had just turned twenty. Like their father, he took on the family responsibilities, dropping out of university to manage 　　the company his parents left behind, becoming an office worker and shouldering heavy burdens. His brother was always busy, and Liang Ze rarely 　　got sick. Even when he was sick, he didn't want his brother to worry, so he would just endure it. 　　Yesterday was the first time I realized how wonderful it is to be cared for when you're sick. You can drink water anytime, someone wipes your sweat, 　　and you can just call out for anything. It makes you feel so happy! 　　Before leaving, Liang Ze carefully wrapped up his favorite, most cherished collectible and brought it with him. 　　He loves it, he treasures it, and he thought Hang Hang would like it too. He wanted to give it to him as a token of his gratitude. 　　— This kind of person doesn't consider whether others will actually like it; he stubbornly believes that liking something is enough. Actually, you ca 　　n't 　　blame the simple-minded Liang Ze. He's never had any particularly close friends; it's mostly 　　just people getting together when they're bored. Being bored alone is less desirable than being bored together. University, the most important time of one's life...

During his time at the library, Liang Ze spent his days reading, not because he wanted to be a bookworm, but because he simply couldn't adapt to the tedious dormitory
life. He chose Chinese literature because he wasn't interested in or good at anything else—it was
better than English. In the library, he was either reading or writing, trying to submit his work, and the number of rejections decreased. Graduation
options weren't many; Chinese literature majors either went to graduate school or became teachers. When his brother asked him what he wanted to do, the simple-minded Liang Ze replied
, "To be a writer." His brother and sister-in-law laughed, thinking he was a bit crazy.
"This! It's for you!" Liang Ze stared at Totoro for a while before realizing he was carrying something.
"Huh?" Hang Hang was taken aback.
"Thank you for taking care of me yesterday!"
"Oh." Hang Hang nodded. "What is it?" he asked, opening the box.
Inside… was a lump of something he couldn't identify.
"This is my most beloved Native American costume in my collection! I even took pictures wearing it! I'm giving it to you, you like
the wild beauty!"
"..." Hang Hang pulled it out, and wow... it really is wild. It barely covers his butt when he wears it, and the most unbearable
thing is that necklace! He even took pictures wearing it? Oh my god, thank goodness I didn't enlarge it and display it in the living room = =
"You should wear it and take pictures too! It'll look so cool!"
"Uh... no, I don't know where to put it..."
"Give it away! I enlarged it and gave it to my brother, and he hangs it in the living room! Everyone who comes over asks who this is!"
"What?"
"My brother says it's the chief, super cool!"
Hang Hang wanted to cry for his brother, the simpleton...
"Hey." The simpleton suddenly turned around.
"Hmm?"
"What do you think we are?" Liang Ze asked seriously.
"Uh..." This question startled Hang Hang. Would a normal man ask another man this kind of question?
"What 'uh'? I'm asking you, what are we?"
"..." Hang Hang couldn't answer.
"Hey, what's with that look on your face? I wasn't trying to get close to you to reduce the foster care fees!"
Hang Hang really hadn't expected that.
"I just wanted to ask, are we friends? The really good kind!"
"This..." Hang Hang thought for a moment, then laughed and cried at the same time, "Yes." "
Great!" Liang Ze beamed, "I have a friend for the first time! My life feels a little more complete now."
"What do you mean?"
"I've never really had any friends, the kind that can truly be defined as 'friends.' Yesterday you took care
of me, and made me realize that I can have friends too!"
"Okay..."
"Yeah."
"What does that have to do with your life being complete?"
"Oh, my brother won't let me have a girlfriend, which means I'll be alone for the rest of my life. Having a friend gives me
some comfort!"
"You mean... I should keep you company for the rest of your life?" What kind of talk is that?
"Damn it! No! I..." Liang Ze couldn't think of how to explain—this guy is obviously a jerk! How
can he be so tactless!
"No, why won't your brother let you have a girlfriend?" I'd talked to Liang Ze about his family before, and I knew
his parents had passed away, and his only brother got married and moved away. Otherwise, I'd be worried sick about him!
"Oh, my brother says my energy is off; every woman I meet is unreliable."
"Huh?"
"Yeah. The first one ran off with my money; the second said she was pregnant and wanted to get married, but the child wasn't mine; the third one,
well, the third one was okay, but she eloped with someone else..."
Hang Hang was speechless.
"My brother went to a fortune teller who said I can't have women in my destiny, or I'll definitely have bad luck!"
"Well... you can't... so..."
"Whatever, I'm pretty disappointed anyway, haha... let's just leave it at that."
"This..."
"Handsome!" Liang Ze stared intently at Hang Hang, "No need to comfort me, it's all in the past, it's okay now,
hahahaha..."
Hang Hang thought to himself: I wasn't trying to comfort you! This is a good thing, isn't it?
"Don't comfort me, please don't! I still have Xiao Yezi and Yixiu!"
"..."
"Really, you don't need to comfort me."
"..."
"Don't be like this, I'm not sad, I'm strong!"
"I'm here." Haihong pushed open the door and came in, the wind chimes at the door jingling softly.
"Handsome! You really don't need to comfort me!"
"Oh dear, what's wrong with Xiao Liang?" Haihong sensed something was wrong and asked with concern.
"He broke up with his girlfriend years ago." Hang Hang said helplessly.
"Huh?"
"That's right! I already told you it's okay, but he still insisted on comforting me!"
"..."
"Is it very sad?" Haihong looked at Liang Ze.
"Actually, it's nothing, it's just..."
He seemed to really need comforting, Hang Hang thought so the second time he listened. The regret is not ordinary
...
Act07date! The road ahead is long and arduous.
I am a handsome guy: Hello...
Heart123: = =
I am a handsome guy: What kind of expression is this?
Heart123: I'm feeling hot.
I am a handsome guy: Ah? Drink more water!
Love123: My lips are cracked too, and I just had a nosebleed...
I'm Handsome: You're really hot-
tempered. Love123: Yeah.
I'm Handsome: Sigh, eat more fruits and vegetables.
Love123: It's been like this ever since
I recovered from my cold. I'm Handsome: Huh? You get hot-tempered as soon as I recovered from my cold?
Love123: ...Your brain is all over the place! I meant I've been like this since I recovered from my cold.
I'm Handsome: Huh? When did you catch a cold?
Love123: ...You're the one who gave me this!
I'm Handsome: Uh. How come you don't have any symptoms?
Love123: You only notice when I'm in the hospital?
I'm Handsome: This... I...
Love123: It's okay, these two cups of grapefruit tea should be enough for today ^_^
I'm Handsome: Hahaha, which one do you like?
Love123: It's so delicious, thank you for buying it for me
. I'm Handsome: Yeah, I'm glad you like it. That stuff has to be bought in the import section, and it's not cheap!
Love123: I see...
I'm Handsome: Yeah, 99 yuan a can.
Love123: ...
I'm Handsome: What's wrong?
Love123: I need to save money...
I'm Handsome: Don't be like that, you're so pathetic = =
Love123: Hahahahahahaha
Hang Hang looked at the screen, drinking grapefruit tea, a smile playing on his lips.
After analyzing things for the past few days, he was certain that his recent low-IQ behavior was purely due to being in love.
Yes, he was certain he had fallen for that simpleton.
For Hang Hang, the next step was to see how things progressed.
He had never dated a straight person before and knew there was basically no chance, but... people in love are quite daring.
Hang Hang was no exception; he also wanted to take on a challenge.
He sorted things out that day and came to a few conclusions:
1. Liang Ze was quite willing to be with him.
2. Liang Ze was quite clueless.
3. Liang Ze's Totoro was a hostage .
4. Liang Ze didn't have a girlfriend
—it seemed like things were going very well. Time to make a move!
But… how to approach someone like that was the question.
Hang Hang posted a thread on a gay forum that day, the content of which was as follows:
I like a straight guy, he's a bit clumsy and clumsy, and quite dependent on me, how should I start?
The replies were as follows:
1#: Knock him out and go for it.
2#: Tell him: I love you. 3#
: OP, you're handsome, I'm straight too!
4#: How does he see you? Does he know you're gay? If he knows and still gets all lovey-dovey with you, then
he's fallen for you!
5#: Make him more dependent on you, like romantic dates or something, basically make you his everything.
6#: Are there still straight men these days?
…
It basically became a joke post.
But Hang Hang did find the dating advice somewhat interesting.
That's true. We've known each other for so long, seeing each other at the shop every day. Although Er Lengzi
shows up on time every day, rain or shine, isn't that all for his Totoro? What would it be like if it weren't for Ikkyu and Xiao Yezi?
Thinking of this, Hang Hang glanced at Xiao Yezi and her husband. These two... are so reserved, living together for months and still not
... consummating their marriage. Then he looked at Ikkyu, still intimidating Kaka...
He had already told Liang Ze the day before yesterday that he didn't need to pay the foster care fees anymore, and Hang Hang himself felt embarrassed. Dragging it out like this wasn't
a good thing. Liang Ze was very happy to hear this news and said: You're so nice! Handsome guy! He didn't seem unhappy at all
, saying it's fine, it's good this way, as long as Ikkyu and Xiao Yezi are happy, I can go over and play with you for a while every day
.
These words were quite ambiguous.
Really, these words strengthened Hang Hang's resolve.
Ikkyu let out a cry, and Kaka retreated back into the house.
Hang Hang looked at Kaka with sympathy, suddenly feeling guilty for arranging
an unreliable arranged marriage for her just to solve his own spouse problem. His alopecia areata wasn't improving, but the worsening trend was under control.
= =
I'm Handsome: Handsome! I'm logging off now, see you tonight!
A message notification from Wangwang sounded, and Hang Hang looked away, his fingers immediately moving.
Heart123: Hey, are you going to the gym?
I'm Handsome: Not today, reading for a while.
Heart123: Not busy?
I'm Handsome: Yeah, not busy.
Heart123: I'm not busy today either, want to go out for a walk together?
I'm Handsome: Sure!
Heart123: Where do you want to go?
I'm Handsome: Anywhere is fine! What about you?
Heart123: Let's go look at autumn clothes.
I'm Handsome: Okay!
Heart123: Okay, I'll call you before I leave.
I'm Handsome: Yeah, I'll read and wait for you.
Hang Hang picked up his phone and called Hai Hong, asking if she could come early today. He then went into the preparation room to greet Ying Ying
and ask if she was available to work overtime today. Both said it was no problem, and Hang Hang happily went upstairs.
After showering, around 3 PM, Hang Hang called Liang Ze. Liang Ze said he was coming out and asked him to wait a moment.
That moment... a full hour.
The M6 was parked at the entrance of the courtyard, honking its horn. Hang Hang glanced up but ignored it until Liang Ze came out.
Hang Hang hadn't expected him to drive here; wasn't he crazy? Friday morning rush hour!
As he came out of the store, Hang Hang saw Liang Ze holding his phone, and then his own phone rang. He rushed
towards Liang Ze, who glanced at him and then looked back into the store.
"What are you looking at? Want to see Yixiu and Xiao Yezi?" Hang Hang walked up to Liang Ze.
"Ah!" Liang Ze exclaimed, staring intently at him, "Ah! Handsome! It's you!"
Hang Hang was stunned. Who else could it be but me?
"You...you...I didn't even notice! Why are you wearing glasses?"
"Huh?" Hang Hang suddenly remembered that he had habitually changed his glasses when he took a shower.
"You look even more handsome! Get in the car!" Liang Ze said, opening the car door.
"Don't you mind the Friday traffic?"
"It's fine, everything's congested, it's more comfortable in my own car."
"Who's congested with the subway?"
"Uh...I forgot."
The car drove out of Yandaixie Street, and Liang Ze turned on the CD player. Hang Hang frowned as soon as he heard it. What kind of music was this?
A guy was singing in a really silly voice: "Little person, huh, so lively, always happy and carefree, so
frivolous, so unserious, laughing and joking, we're having fun. I'm someone's little guy, stronger than Li Kui, more handsome
than Zhang Fei, with shiny black hair, I've traveled all over the country, with outstanding temperament, I've drunk water from the Yangtze and Yellow Rivers."
" I kissed a firecracker landmine...
" "What song is this?"
"Poor but happy! Pretty good, right?" Liang Ze laughed.
"So cool..."
"Huh?"
"Change it?"
"This... I burned this song on the whole CD." Liang Ze turned to look at Hang Hang.
Hang Hang closed his eyes, sensing this 'date wouldn't be anything good = ='
"It's pretty good, so funny, the more I listen, the happier I get!"
"Yeah, poor but happy..."
"Hahahaha..."
"Where are we going?" Hang Hang looked at the cars crawling along the street, feeling that nowhere was as
reliable as going to the moon.
"You say!"
"...Okay, it's a bit easy to walk."
"Alright!" Liang Ze nodded.
"Yeah."
"Do you know the way?" Liang Ze asked.
"Huh?"
"I often get lost."
"Then why are you driving?"
"Cough, it's okay, all roads lead to Rome!"
"Turn left!" Just then, Hang Hang realized they were about to go astray = =
"Damn! You reminded me just in time! Handsome guys are amazing!"
"..."
Fuyou Street was completely jammed, Chang'an Street was still under traffic lights, and Xinhua Street was jammed from south to north.
"Hey, handsome guy!" Liang Ze said, coming closer and sniffing Hang Hang like a dog.
"What are you doing?" Hang Hang was confused.
"Handsome guy, you smell wrong!"
"Huh?" Hang Hang was stunned. He had taken a shower, but he was afraid it was still the smell of a pet.
"Really, it's wrong!"
Hang Hang also sniffed, but didn't notice any strange smell. "What's wrong?"
"It's not the usual smell!"
"What's the usual smell?"
"It's... a lot of smells!"
"...You think that smells good?" Hang Hang's eyes almost popped out. He
couldn't take it without his contact lenses.
"Mmm. It smells really good, I can tell it's your scent just by smelling it!"
"You're crazy."
"Hahaha..."
Hang Hang looked at Liang Ze helplessly. He actually liked that scent, how weird!
The two of them strolled around until almost six o'clock before arriving at SOGO in Xuanwumen. Parking went smoothly. Once inside the mall , they
wandered around casually. Liang Ze didn't seem very interested in anything, barely looking at clothes, and just kept talking.
After Hang Hang bought a coat, they decided to go out for dinner.
"What do you want to eat tonight?" Hang Hang and Liang Ze got off the escalator.
"Anything is fine."
"There has to be something you particularly want to eat, right?"
"Uh... ah! Right! It's just south, let's eat lamb offal!"
Hang Hang's glasses fell off. What to eat? Lamb offal? Could there be anything more unromantic than that?
"You don't like lamb?" Liang Ze asked when Hang Hang didn't answer.
"...Eat."
"That's good! There's a shop over on Niujie Street, not big, not as good as Yueshengzhai, but it's alright."
"Okay." Hang Hang was sweating. You're ruthless, I'm already feeling hot and you want me to eat mutton!
"Okay, let's go!"
"Don't you want to buy anything?"
"Me? No. I bought some before."
"Oh. The one you're wearing today?"
"No, I bought this last year."
"What about the new one?"
"In the closet, it's rare for you to ask such a silly question." Liang Ze laughed.
Who's silly? Hang Hang wanted to slap Liang Ze on the head. He bought the clothes when they were at their most expensive and then left them in
the closet. Who do you think is silly?
Sure enough, it was a shop with no style. It was like a braised pork shop that didn't give change. It was a small storefront,
greasy everywhere, and quite crowded.
"Two bowls of offal soup, four sesame cakes, a pound of roasted mutton, and one serving of fried dough sticks." Liang Ze ordered skillfully,
then looked up, "Want some pork belly?"
"Anything is fine." Hang Hang nodded mechanically.
"Then I'll have one. This is their specialty."
The waiter left, and Liang Ze lit a cigarette. "I've been wanting to eat this for a long time, but I haven't come here yet."
"Why?"
"I'm busy with this myself, and my other friends don't like coming to places like this."
"What's wrong with places like this?"
"Yeah! Handsome! I like you! The smaller the shop, the better the food. You should try it later, I guarantee it'll be better than
your braised pork offal."
Hang Hang's jaw practically dropped. What did he say? Braised pork offal? What's wrong with this guy's brain?
Talking about braised pork offal with Niujie, with a halal shop, with a Hui Muslim gathering place?
Well, as soon as he finished speaking, the other tables looked at them.
"Liang Ze..." Hang Hang kicked Liang Ze under the table.
"Huh?"
"Don't say braised pork offal..." Hang Hang mouthed.
"Huh?"
"Don't say braised pork offal."
"Don't say what?"
"Braised pork offal."
"Braised pork offal? Hmm, don't say it, this is a halal shop!" The voice was even louder.
Hang Hang watched as the butcher increased the pressure on his hands
. He wished he could disappear into the ground.
"Handsome, what's wrong with you?" Liang Ze hadn't reacted yet. Looking at Hang Hang, he had a sudden thought and decided to go for it! "I
...I rarely make mistakes like this...it's just that...whatever, it triggered me."
"Fine..." Hang Hang was about to cry. He swore that if he shouted "braised pork offal" again, the master chef would come out with a knife and kill
them both.
The old shop's food was always good. Liang Ze and Hang Hang ate quite a bit. After they finished eating, they came out, and Hang Hang glared
at Liang Ze. "Next time, don't mention braised pork offal to people in halal shops."
"Got it! I don't know what came over me today, hahaha..."
"Sigh." Hang Hang sighed.
Once in the car, the road cleared up, and the two turned back.
Hang Hang touched his lips, which were incredibly sore; it seemed this sore throat would last for several days.
"Delicious, right?"
"Yeah. Delicious." Hang Hang nodded. "
We're so great! We can eat and talk about anything together, except for that braised pork!"
"..."
"Hey handsome, why do I feel like you're quieter? Are you sleepy after eating?"
"No."
"Then what is it?
" "My mouth hurts..."
"Mouth hurts? What shouldn't you have said? Shouldn't my mouth hurt? I told the halal shop about braised pork... Do
you think you'll get the blame for that?"
"Get lost!" Hang Hang was exasperated. "I have a sore throat!"
"Ah!" Liang Ze finally snapped out of his daze. Hang Hang had a sore throat... and he... dragged him to eat mutton =
=
"I wasted my grapefruit tea..." Hang Hang leaned back in the passenger seat, feeling incredibly annoyed about this date. It would have been better
to just hang out at the shop! --Trying to have any romance with a simpleton like that is just plain stupid!
"You drink it, drink it again when you get back, and I'll buy you more when it's gone!" Liang Ze declared resolutely.
Hang Hang glanced at him. Liang Ze, a cigarette dangling from his lips, listened to "Poor but Happy," the neon lights illuminating his face
and highlighting his handsome features. Oh well, who told me to fall for someone like this?
"I really will buy it for you, don't be stingy with it!"
"...That stuff is super concentrated, I could drink it for a year without any problem."
"Oh, hahaha..."
Fine, you can be happy even if you're poor.
The road ahead is long and arduous, winning over this simpleton is by no means an easy task. It requires enduring immense
torment, experiencing a huge nervous breakdown, and encountering all sorts of bizarre stimulations...
Kid, you wait until I win you over, I won't...
The little devil in the good-natured shopkeeper's heart has already picked up a trident = =
"Hey, handsome..."
"What?"
"Nothing, you don't need to say anything, just listen to me."
"Say it."
"I'm really happy today! I feel so comfortable with you."
Finally, he said something sensible, it seems this date can barely get 2 points, not a complete zero.

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[No. 10 Yandaixie Street] (02-07) Author: Jianzou Pianfeng1219

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