Being groped on the sleeper berth

I can't say whether I'm proper or improper (I feel uncomfortable using the word "lewd" to describe myself, so I won't). I really dislike being taken advantage of by acquaintances, but sometimes being groped by strangers in unfamiliar situations feels exciting. Although I always feel remorseful afterwards, thinking it shouldn't have happened, I don't think I've ever really controlled myself. I came back from a business trip the day before yesterday, and after a long train ride, I felt quite tired, so I'm only writing about this train journey today.
I don't know if it was lucky or unlucky. I originally wanted to save money and buy a hard seat, but then I thought that since I was going to be on the train for so long, I'd buy a sleeper berth. When I got on the train, I found that my sleeper berth had a strange, unpleasant smell, so I gritted my teeth and changed to a soft sleeper, feeling sorry for my money as I followed the train conductor. What I was wearing that day, well, I guess, a tank top under a loose, super short t-shirt, and a chiffon skirt that reached my knees. The tank top was too low-cut, so I wore the super short t-shirt underneath, but the neckline was off-the-shoulder, or I'd be showing my shoulders, and if I bent over, you could see what was underneath. The train attendant, who looked to be in his thirties, kept smiling at me and even helped me with my luggage. At first, I thought it was great to have such a nice attendant, but I gradually noticed he was walking very slowly. He would occasionally bump into me when the train swayed, and since he was much taller than me, he would turn around and say he was sorry, but then his eyes would dart into my clothes. Knowing I was wearing a push-up bra that day, which would reveal a deep cleavage, I suddenly felt a burning, arousing sensation. I deliberately bent down slightly in return, as if to say, "Want to see? Here you go, but you can't have it!" When I reached my carriage and opened the door, there was someone inside, also probably in his thirties. He was very polite and well-mannered; he stood up to greet me and even took my luggage from the attendant to put it away. The attendant stood at the door and chatted with me for a long time before leaving. As soon as I closed the door, the middle-aged man across the street started chatting with me. "Young lady, why are you going out alone?" I paused for a moment, then laughed, "I've been working for two years now, I'm not young anymore." He seemed a little skeptical (okay, I admit I'm a bit chubby, chubby people all have baby faces, plus I like to dress like a student). "I can't believe it, you didn't go to school so early?" "No, I graduated from junior college..." For some reason, he suddenly smiled brightly and said, "I can't believe it, you look like you're only in your final year of high school." "No way, that's good!" We chatted like that and gradually became familiar with each other. When it was time for dinner, he enthusiastically invited me to eat at the dining car. I initially said I didn't need it, but he insisted on taking me there. I said it wasn't good to leave my luggage there. He said okay, I'll go buy some food. When he came back, he brought a few dishes and six bottles of beer. I said I didn't drink much, but he insisted I drink with him. Since he was treating me to dinner, I felt bad refusing, so I only drank about two bottles. But I hadn't drunk alcohol in a long time, and my face was flushed, so I still felt a little dizzy. After dinner, he suggested we play cards. I was so dizzy, I kept losing, and I got a little upset, so I said I wanted to rest early. He politely turned off the light and told me to sleep. I felt a bit hot from the alcohol, and even after sleeping for a while, I couldn't sleep soundly. I vaguely felt someone shake me. I thought I was just dizzy from the train swaying and didn't react. Then suddenly it felt cold—who pulled my blanket off?! I was startled and opened my eyes. The light was still off, but I could still feel someone very close to me. A hand reached inside my clothes and rubbed my breasts. I knew who it was, but I didn't move. My mind was hot, and my body was hot too. It was so stimulating; I didn't know whether I wanted it or not, but I didn't resist. The person rubbed my breasts with one hand and carefully tried to turn me over and unhook my bra with the other. I used the momentum to roll over so he could untie me. He easily untied my clothes and pulled them up until my upper body was exposed. As he rubbed my clothes, I felt him kissing me. I was incredibly conflicted, unsure whether to give in or not. A stranger, and on a train no less—it was too much! But it was also so exciting. He didn't know me, and I didn't know him. After one night, no one would know! Thinking this, I didn't resist, pretending to be drunk and asleep, letting him climb onto my bed. He kissed and rubbed my breasts for a long time, and I couldn't help but rub my legs together before he started to touch my skirt. He didn't pull it down, but instead yanked it up, pushing it up to my waist. He pulled down my underwear and eagerly reached in. I was genuinely startled. After all, I hadn't showered… A strange man licking my genitals—wasn't he afraid of getting dirty? I felt disgusted myself. But despite my thoughts, the electric-like pleasure made it impossible to pretend to be asleep, and I couldn't stop him. I immediately grabbed his head, letting out a soft moan as I said, "What are you doing? Don't do this..." He suddenly pressed down on me, pinning my hand down with one hand while continuing to touch my genitals with the other, saying, "You're so cute, I couldn't help myself, I'm sorry, forgive me." (Seriously, if I said no, would you even get off me?) (Note: The numbers at the end of each paragraph, when strung together, form the girl's contact number.) Before I could answer, he inserted two fingers, and I reflexively screamed. Luckily, the train was noisy enough... otherwise, if someone had rushed in, I would have died of embarrassment. I kept muttering "No, don't do this," while weakly pushing him away with my hands (my mind was definitely hot and my body was weak, plus the pleasure...). He arched his back, one hand on my breast and the other unzipping his pants. Although I couldn't see clearly, I could tell he was struggling and had been doing it for a long time. After all, the space was small. As soon as he finished, he impatiently pulled up my legs and thrust inside me. I was so stimulated that I couldn't speak. All I could think about was, "This must be what a one-night stand is like." He was working really hard; I heard him hit his head many times. I was pushing him away, but he seemed to enjoy it. Then he actually got off the berth, pulled me out, and continued thrusting into me while standing. I was really exhausted; the bed was so small, I couldn't sleep flat, and my head was bent so much it was tiring. I couldn't help but say, "Don't do this, it's so tiring and painful." He actually turned me over so I was face down and thrust into me from behind. The train was still rumbling at night, but apart from that sound, there was no other noise except for the slapping sound of him thrusting into me from behind. I felt incredibly ashamed but also incredibly excited. He was breathing heavily as he thrust, and I was afraid someone would hear, so I didn't dare to scream and buried my head in the pillow. After a long time, the speed suddenly increased. I knew he was about to climax. Actually, I had already climaxed earlier because I found this kind of behavior too exciting and scary. My whole body went limp, and he helped me until he was satisfied. He carefully helped me back to bed, wiped my face with a tissue, and kept apologizing. I didn't cry; crying would be too dramatic. But I remained silent. He helped me get dressed, then put on his own clothes and went out (probably to tidy himself up). Then I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up, he had already gotten off the train. After tidying myself up, I sat on the train, feeling a bit dazed and confused. Was I dreaming? How could I have just let someone do what they wanted so casually? I felt a little scared, wondering if he had filmed me while I was asleep (a lingering effect of being shocked by the Edison Chen incident), and whether he was sick or not. Luckily, it was daytime when I got off the train. After putting my luggage away and taking a shower, I went to the hospital. Thankfully, the report showed I was healthy. Otherwise, the price of this one-night stand would have been too high. Anyway, I shouldn't do anything so thrilling again. I'm really afraid of being seen or found out. I need to live my own life.

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Being groped on the sleeper berth

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