32 Metaphors for Male-Female Relationships (A More Practical Post)

1. Every woman has two versions: a deluxe edition and a paperback edition. The former is what she presents to others in the workplace and social situations—glamorous and radiant; the latter is what she shows to her loved ones at home—casual clothes and pajamas, where she pours out her troubles. Husbands in marriages often only see their wives' paperback version and other women's deluxe versions. This is one of the motivations for extramarital affairs.

2. Beauty is a woman's passport—an old saying, but an undeniable truth. Even if it's a sugar-coated bullet, it doesn't necessarily win the beauty's heart, yet men are still devoted to pleasing her. And those women who lack visual appeal, even if they are clearly a good medicine, are often unappealing to men because they are unpleasant to swallow.

3. Marriage is like an umbrella. With it, you're naturally comfortable in wind, rain, and scorching sun, but in most ordinary days, an extra umbrella is inevitably a burden.

4. A woman asks, "Do you love me?" A man answers, "I like you." A man asks, "Why won't you accept me?" A woman answers, "You can find someone better than me." —It seems that men and women like to use synonyms, but it's just like adding an extra layer of peel to a banana, or hiding a needle in cotton.

5. A wife is like clothes—fashion changes so quickly, and clothes are becoming increasingly expensive; men are all the same—but it is still the biggest market for women.

6. When in love, men compare women to stars, birds, angels, and other things related to the sky; when love ends, men claim the sky for themselves and put the women they once loved back on the ground.

7. Older married couples look more and more alike. Some say it's because they love each other. But doctors say it's because they spend so much time together, have similar diets, and synchronized routines. Leaves on the same tree also grow more and more alike.

8. Older unmarried men and women are like people who have missed their stop on a bus. Sometimes it's because the seats on the bus are too comfortable, and they simply don't want to get off; sometimes it's because they don't recognize their stop. And what about men and women who never marry? They are the bus drivers.

9. It's a miracle that childhood sweethearts can smoothly go from being together to being in a romantic relationship. Just like when you planned to walk from Beijing to Guangzhou, there were always tempting voices along the way: "Get on the bus." It's hard for your feet to keep moving forward.

10. "I'm busy"—when parents hear this, they worry about their child's health; friends think this guy is successful; wives immediately feel their housework burden has increased; girlfriends cry, realizing that their place in his heart might not be as important as his career, or even a signal or excuse for breaking up.

11. A group of people are discussing what the most adventurous thing to do in modern times is? Mountain climbing, gliding, extreme sports… everyone has their own opinion. Actually, love is the greatest adventure, and it has been in any era. Because all kinds of adventurous behavior, at worst, lead to death, but the torment of love makes life worse than death.

12. The one who expresses love is an animal, the one who is loved is a plant. If love is rejected, of course, it's the animal that leaves, because plants don't grow legs to run away.

14. A man confessed to a pastor that he hid a person in his house during World War II and charged him rent. The pastor comforted him, saying there was no wrongdoing. But this person asked, "Should I tell him the war is over?" — When we believe love is still there, but it's already over, and we're unwilling to face reality, it's like being kept in the dark. The question is: who's collecting our "rent"?

15. Whether love comes before sex or sex comes before love is like the chicken and the egg; it's hard to say which is the truth, or which is more noble.

16. A man's biggest secrets are often told to his confidante, not to his male friends, family, or wife. When the confidante becomes his wife, this right is immediately revoked. This is called gain and loss.

17. Many singers who sing love songs have never been in love, which is the most ridiculous thing, yet also the most logical. If they had been in love, they wouldn't sing so passionately.

18. The deeper and longer the relationship, the more specific the care becomes, from refined to vulgar, from spiritual to physical. In the throes of passion, she asked him, "Are you in a good mood?" After marriage, she asked him, "Is this fish expensive at 6 yuan a pound?" or "Is your hemorrhoids better?"

19. Marriage is like a keyboard, full of order and rules; love is like a mouse, easy to use. Men see themselves as the CPU, where memory is paramount; women are like the monitor, where everything is visible.

20. A good woman is a man's school. A good woman, however, hopes this good student will never graduate.
21. An unmarried woman lamented: Why are all the mature, good men already married, and not a single unmarried man is decent? Someone reminded her: Wives cultivate good husbands themselves; no man can become one on his own.

22. Do you remember the love stories on university lawns or under the shade of trees in parks? Now the lawns are replaced with imported turf, and trees are becoming increasingly scarce.

23. Rock singer He Yong once sang: "Find a girlfriend, or raise a dog?" Today, this should be said by the canary: "Have a boyfriend, and raise a dog at the same time."

25. "I'm ugly, but I'm gentle"—today, men and women have adapted Zhao Chuan's version: "I'm not perfect, but I'm real." That is to say, I'm not beautiful, but I'm cool; I'm not rich, but I'm happy; I'm not successful, but I'm confident; I'm not sentimental, but I know how to cherish.

26. A birthday is a stage, a test, an opportunity. Men are more likely to use this when dating; women are more likely to use it after marriage.

27. People often request songs on the radio, hoping their loved one might hear them. The chances of hearing them are extremely small, yet miracles often occur. Some say love is a high fever, but saying love is a miracle is more accurate. There is no more typical miracle in life than love; it can transform someone from ugly to beautiful, and make the impossible possible.

28. Zhang Xiaoxian said: "A prodigal son returns not because of you, but because his heart is weary." It's like finding a pillow when you're sleepy, or encountering a sunny day when you go out. But adding the words "because of you" is enough to fill her with a sense of accomplishment.

29. In youth, we take many photos, displaying albums in the living room for others to see; only in old age do we realize that photos are taken for ourselves. A thick record of a lifetime lies before us, saving us the trouble of writing a memoir.

30. When I was a child, I was happy when eating 30 steamed buns at once was my life's ideal; now that I earn 5,000 a month, I still don't feel happy. When people lack nothing in career, love, family, and money, they often still lack one thing—a sense of hunger. Having desires within limits is happiness.

31. Currently, Hong Kong people tend to marry later, with the average age of marriage for men at 30.9 and for women at 27.7. No matter how late, the dominant structure is still men being older than women. Women enjoy being cared for while simultaneously hoping to age more slowly than their partners.

32. You can have love and sex without marriage, just as you can experience the four seasons without bearing fruit. However, without marriage, you can't get subsidized housing.

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32 Metaphors for Male-Female Relationships (A More Practical Post)

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