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The Story of the Girl Who Pants Diapers 

This all started in kindergarten. Urination is a significant part of my childhood memories; I didn't stop wetting the bed until I was seven. A large portion of my time in kindergarten was spent worrying about wetting myself. The teachers in my kindergarten were quite strange; they had a strict schedule: 7:30 AM wake-up, 7:45 AM morning exercises, 8:00 AM breakfast, then immediate class (because it was a pilot class, we had elementary school lessons), until 9:00 AM for water and urination, then more class until 11:00 AM, then lunch, urination, 12:00 PM to 2:00 PM nap, then more class until 3:00 PM afternoon snack, water, urination, then more class, 5:00 PM dinner, 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM activity time, then washing my face and bottom, then going to bed.
During those times, I would frequently experience anxiety and worry about urination and defecation. First, I had to get up. I mentioned that I wouldn't stop wetting the bed until I was seven, but most of my classmates had already stopped by kindergarten. I, however, wet the bed every day. There were no disposable diapers, and the teachers didn't want to wash my diapers. So, every morning when I woke up, the feeling of being wet was a constant companion. At first, the teachers would check who had wet the bed while we were getting dressed, change the underwear of those who had wet the bed, and then roll up the bedding. In winter, they would take it to the boiler room, and in summer, they would take it to the playground to air it out. Later, they stopped checking and just rolled up my bedding without changing my underwear anymore. After getting dressed, sometimes I still felt the urge to urinate and had to wait until after morning exercises to wash up and go to the toilet. Sometimes, I couldn't wait and would urinate. During exercises, there were over a hundred students, and because I was short and stood at the front, many people could see me. After I wet the bed, the teacher would drag me to the living room, pull down my pants, roll me up in a blanket, and put me on the bed board because the bedding had been taken away. Sometimes, I barely managed to finish the exercises, only to have to squeeze into the toilet. The toilet was inside the classroom, and there were only three stalls for girls. The teachers didn't allow us to crowd in front of the toilet door, so they would give us full-time students time to wash up first, and another teacher would stand at the toilet door and assign three people to use the toilet. It was easy to wet my pants during this time; sometimes, while brushing my teeth, I would feel nauseous and urinate. Most of the time, I could hold on until it was my turn to use the toilet, but the classes between toilet breaks were dangerous, especially after meals. When I raised my hand to say I needed to pee, the teacher would often say that class would be over soon. I would often hold it in until I was covered in sweat and my face was red, but I had to keep my hands behind my back. I didn't dare to press my hands between my legs because that would get my name called. The feeling of incontinence is like this: first, the first gushe of urine gushes out and lasts for half a second, then you can try your best to hold it in, but by then you've already urinated a lot. If you're wearing cotton pants in winter, a wet spot about an inch in size will appear. If you're wearing a skirt in summer, a small puddle will appear between your legs on the seat, and a few drops will drip onto the ground. If you're wearing only thin pants, the puddle will be smaller. If you're wearing thermal underwear, a wet spot the size of a palm will appear between your legs. After this, you're not far from urinating completely. If you hold it in any longer, your urethra will become numb, and then you'll feel a complete loss of control, watching the urine gushe out. The wet spot will turn into a large wet patch, and the wet spot will quickly spread, moving upwards to the middle of your lower abdomen, forming a large, almost circular wet patch, and downwards to the inside of your legs, where the urine will drip onto the ground, forming a ten-inch-long patch.

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