Let's have something funny!

> > The Ugliest Person in the World
> >
> > I was born twice
> >
> > The first time, a doctor pulled me out of my mother's womb and suddenly fainted. A nurse closed her eyes and groped around, then stuffed me back
in...
> > The second time I was born, everyone in the hospital hid in the morgue and cried. The hospital director slapped himself, blaming himself
for being blind and greedy for taking on this job...
> >
> > Motherly love is great. She didn't despise me and raised me to adulthood, but she put a picture of a skull on my face to relieve her
psychological pressure. The mask stayed with me until I was ten.
> >
> > When I was eleven, I was in third grade. All my classmates were at their most curious, desperately wanting to see
what I looked like behind the mask. A classmate nicknamed Li Dadan (meaning "Bold Li") ripped off my mask while I was urinating. From then on, Li Dadan
suffered from a strange disease. He couldn't speak, his eyes were vacant, and he did nothing all day but stare at a skull without blinking
. >My eyes, the moment I close them, tears stream down my face...
>>>>
The principal reported it to the Education Bureau, and they sent people. Because all the students had transferred schools, the principal could only eat half a
bowl of porridge every morning, and the teachers hadn't been paid for two months...
>>> After the Education Bureau officials saw me, the director immediately resigned and went into business. A chain reaction ensued, and educational institutions across the country collapsed and became
paralyzed...
>>>>
I was walking down the street, and everyone on the roadside was vomiting uncontrollably. A group of pigs rushed up to me from behind, hurriedly putting red flowers on my head, giving me
trophies, and even a certificate that read: "Savior of Pigs.
">>> Liu Mazi's wife next door wanted to brag to him, saying his pockmarked face was disgusting and she was definitely going to divorce him!!! Just then
, I walked to their window. When Liu Mazi's wife saw me, she didn't say a word, took out money, and went to the insurance company to insure Liu Mazi's pockmarks—ten
thousand yuan per pockmark ...
>>>>
This alarmed the United Nations again (why "again"?). Annan, at his wits' end, demanded I undergo plastic surgery, but failed.
All the plastic surgeons who saw me wept uncontrollably; nearly half ended up in mental hospitals, all with the same symptoms: unable to speak, only able to utter one phrase: Ugly... extremely
ugly... Arafat sent a special plane to pick me up, demanding I stand at the presidential palace gate to resist the Israeli encirclement. I stood there for one minute, and the entire Israeli army retreated. Sharon was forced to resign, and Palestine rejoiced. But when Arafat wanted to introduce me as a national hero, the entire Palestinian nation couldn't find me even with lanterns... A writer approached me, tears streaming down his face: " My biggest dream in my life has been to win the Nobel Prize in Literature, but the current masters are too formidable... I have a secret weapon: if I can write a book in front of you, I'm guaranteed to win the prize!!! " I didn't believe him, so he stayed with me for a week and wrote a five-million-word novel. As a result, even the Nobel Prize ... He also won the Nobel Prize in Medicine... The Nobel headquarters announced that whoever could find words to describe my appearance would win the Literature Prize. As a result, all the writers switched to selling pork, and the Nobel Prize in Literature disappeared... The National Football Association specially recruited me into the team, hoping to truly break out of Asia. In the World Cup, the Chinese team didn't concede a single goal, every game was a 12-0 score, one goal per player, and after the game, they would have a picnic on the lawn. I was BBQing alone in front of the goal, and all the opposing players, including the goalkeeper, vomited until they fainted. The referee vomited so much that he couldn't even get a red card. Of course, our players also underwent gradual, devilish training. First, they looked at my photos, then ate while looking at my photos, and then played football... The World Cup trophy remained in China forever, and foreign media commented that I was the incarnation of the devil. The World Lying Contest began, and contestants of all races boasted wildly. I went on stage and only said three words ... >I won the championship and kept the title permanently. I said, "I'm not ugly..." > > > > I cried in the night, facing the moon, and whispered, "Am I pretty?" A white object gently fell from the moon. I picked it up and saw it was a little white rabbit crushed to death by the Nine Yin White Bone Claw... > > > > I cried out to the sky: "God, am I the ugliest person?!" > > Suddenly, a torrential downpour fell on me. I touched it and found it was all vomit... > > > > I left the mortal world and came to an ancient castle. I asked the magic mirror: "Magic mirror, magic mirror, who is the ugliest person in the world?" The magic mirror wept and committed suicide, shattering... > > > > If Heaven cannot tolerate me, why was I born? I harbored resentment and died in despair. Who knew that the King of Hell would issue a pardon and let me return to the mortal world... > > > > So I wandered the mortal world. When I had nothing to do, I went online. I wanted to chat, so I applied for a QQ number. Who knew... System notification:Because of your repulsive appearance (please forgive my poor writing skills, this is the best I can do), our company will never provide you with a number... I don't know if this post will even be published... System notification: Due to the author's appearance, this post will be deleted within 5 minutes of publication. NetEase will be closing the community for the second time (the community was closed because of this author's articles). Community staff , please note that if this person's articles are discovered, Ding Lei will decide to close NetEase and declare bankruptcy!

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