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Like a shadow 1 

We parted in 2006
, reunited 10 years later, commemorating the most beautiful scenery of my life.
September 19, 2006.
I was born in Meishan, Sichuan, and grew up in Chengdu, but my height is completely unlike that of a Chengdu native. I'm 1.3 meters tall and weigh 165 cm, a typical robust
northern man, yet I am indeed a Sichuanese.
I remember the night I parted with Ying'er, she leaned against me, quietly talking about her dreams: she was like a secluded orchid in a valley,
a Yao girl as pure and ethereal as an elf. It was destined to take away all my lifelong longing.
Now I'm in Guangzhou, my main business is in Shenzhen, and my main leisure time is in Dongguan.
In Shenzhen, I always stay at the same hotel. Sometimes, I've developed a liking for the morning massages there. A woman from Northeast China, three years older than me, is incredibly skilled
and very honest. Every time I put money on the table, she gives me a massage, and I go from aches and pains to relaxation and a sound sleep. After hearing my snoring, she quietly
collects the money from the table and leaves, completely ignoring my computer and wallet.
September 19th was her birthday. I made an overseas call to Canada, and she told me, brimming with happiness, that her second child was about to be born, but
they hadn't named it yet and asked for my advice. I told her, "When we were together, I called you Angel. Born of angels, you're naturally an angel too, so let's call you that." After hanging
up, I felt an unprecedented weariness. I called my usual masseuse to come up for a massage, but told her I was on
leave. I was impatient and told her to send someone else.
The doorbell rang, and I went to open the door, but I was stunned. "How has fate treated me after all? Seven years ago, I brought her to a foreign land, and today, has it
returned her to me?" The girl, seeing me standing there in a daze, asked curiously, "Sir, did you call for a massage?" I nodded, regaining my composure, and invited her inside.
The girl very young, just like she had been before, but under the bright lights in the room, I saw that it wasn't her after all.
The girl opened her mouth, and I began to massage her. She looked at me with a strange, uneasy expression, her voice filled with a mixture of emotions. She seemed to be saying, "I'm so sorry, I'm so worried about you." "This is only my second time giving a massage to this customer, I can't help it. How about I change you to a smaller one?" I nodded helplessly. She seemed relieved, jumped up excitedly,
and ran towards the door. Suddenly, a thought struck me—her movements were so similar to hers. Back then, when we strolled hand-in-hand by Weiming Lake every day, she would also jump around like that.
"Number four or number ten?" I enunciated clearly. Although I grew up in Sichuan, I had studied in Beijing for years, and I had developed extremely standard Mandarin.
I stopped her: "Never mind, I won't change, you're fine. But be gentle."
The lamplight was soft, and seeing her up close, she looked even more like her. Suddenly, I nervously asked her, "Are you from Yunnan?"
"No, I'm from Sichuan."
It turns out we're from the same hometown! "Which part of Sichuan?"
I looked at her silhouette leaning against the big bed and said with a smile, "If I really wanted to tease you, now's a perfect opportunity."
She gulped down her drink, handed it back to me, and said casually, "Okay, I'm not thirsty anymore." Suddenly, I realized I couldn't be won over by a can of Wanglaoji, so I
added, "You wouldn't know anyway, why ask?"
I'm thirty years old now, I've traveled all over China, women have come and gone, amidst a sea of flowers, yet I can never find that flutter of the heart I felt in college.
She's a spicy girl from my hometown, I laughed, "How about this, if you tell me I don't know, I'll treat you to a late-night snack later."
"Well, no cheating! I'm from Ya'an, you know?"
I wrapped my arms around Ying'er's head and laughed, "Ying'er, I'm going to kiss you." Ying'er couldn't dodge and shyly closed her eyes. I gently lifted her long hair.
"Haha, so you're from Ya'an, my apologies." I changed my deep voice and laughed cheerfully. The little girl was surprised: "You know Ya'an women?"
"Of course! Ya'an has three 'Ya's': Ya'an rain like silk, Ya'an fish like swords, and Ya'an women like flowers. For 300 days a year, the continuous, yet never-wetting, fine rain has nurtured your
delicate, flawless skin."
The girl suddenly blushed and asked softly, "Then, which old man are you?"
"The distant mountains are long, the clouds are chaotic, the morning mountains are green, do you know?" Looking at her confused eyes, I smiled and continued, "I'm very close to you, I'm from Meishan."
Hearing "fellow townsman," the girl exclaimed happily, while I let out a pained "Ah!" "Please be gentle!"
The girl blushed again, smiling and saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." But her smile told me that she was a little happy that I had hurt her.
The little girl tried to break free slightly, but failed, and then stopped struggling.
I laughed and got up, taking her blushing face as we walked out the door.
It was supposed to be a late-night snack, but it wasn't even 9 pm yet. I took her directly to the Sichuan Grand Fragrance Restaurant, as I remembered their Sichuan cuisine being quite authentic. The little girl
had never been to a restaurant of this caliber before, and she nervously fidgeted. I smiled, called the waiter to lay out a napkin for her, and casually ordered a few home-style dishes. I then
asked about her family situation.
Some say that 80% of Shenzhen girls have a painful past, and she was no exception. Her family lived in the city and was originally quite well-off. However, when she was in high school,
both her parents lost their jobs. To make matters worse, her father suddenly fell seriously ill, exhausting all the family's savings and rendering him unable to work.
I turned over, grabbed her hand, and said casually, "Stop massaging, let's go downstairs for a late-night snack."
The family relied on welfare and her mother's small business to make ends meet. The young woman was very understanding of her parents. As soon as she finished her college entrance exams and received her graduation certificate, she went straight to Shenzhen. She
was very familiar with the area. She had originally dreamed of becoming a white-collar worker in Shenzhen, but who knew that graduating from high school would only allow her to work in a factory for a meager salary of (00 yuan).
I was puzzled: "That doesn't mean you have to do massages, is there some other reason?"
"I earn more here, Dad needs the money, and it provides food and lodging," the girl said, her eyes reddening slightly. "I don't have any money; I can't afford to rent
a place ."
My heart ached, and I quickly changed the subject: "By the way, we've been getting to know each other for almost an hour, and I haven't even given you my name yet."
Ying'er laughed as she said, "They're all so surprised, saying that someone actually booked Ying'er's services; it's big news."
"My name is Ying'er," she said confidently, but her answer surprised me again—it was the same name as mine! Is fate really that amazing? "
Which Ying?"
"The Ying of 'shadow'," she replied. I breathed a sigh of relief; it wasn't that Ying'er. But a strange feeling made me want to discuss
whether there were any other points of common ground between them besides appearance and name.
I casually asked, "Do you like Haruki Murakami?" Ying'er had written a series of columns about Murakami for a local newspaper magazine when she was in high school.
"Haruki Murakami? I don't know him. Where is he from? Is it in Sichuan? Is the scenery beautiful? How does it compare to Bifengxia Gorge in Ya'an?"
I was speechless. Ying'er's reply was truly hilarious, but it was a different kind of disappointment. Yes, that girl who played the dulcimer, the guzheng, and discussed Zen with high monks,
after marrying Tan Ye, changed companies four times in a year and a half, and all four companies have now gone bankrupt. Ying'er was extremely disdainful: "When I went to Beijing Film Academy, they were over $140 per share,
right? Archangel, representing justice and truth," I paused, and continued, "and... Now it's $2 per share. You've just crushed four ants, but I've crippled an elephant." Thinking of these memories, I couldn't help but smile slightly.
September 20, 2006
Recalling the past, the girl found it hard to bear the bitterness: "Back then, I ranked second in the entire grade, and I was the only one in the whole school to pass the CET-6 (College English Test Band 6). I even typed
on her cherry lips.
Yesterday, after having dinner with Ying'er, I took her straight back to the hotel. I only called for two hours; I was afraid she wouldn't be able to explain if I came back late. When we parted, I told
Ying'er that I was going back to Guangzhou the next day and that I would miss her. Ying'er seemed a little reluctant
to let me go. 'Is masseuse number 2 here?' 'Sorry, she took leave to go home.' Ying'er was very honest.
Today, however, some unexpected things happened, and I was delayed in Shenzhen for a day. I kept calling the massage department in the evening, and surprisingly, Ying'er answered. I changed my tone: '
Then who is (number)?' I asked, trying to get her to answer. 'Number 1.' Ying'er took the bait."
"Si number!!!" Ying'er tried her best to pronounce the sound, but the Sichuan dialect she was learning didn't actually have the "sh" sound. The four and ten were only
distinguished by the rising and falling of the notes, so she couldn't understand it at all.
"What is it (number)?" I continued to tease Ying'er.
"The 'si' of seven, eight, and nine." Ying'er finally figured it out and said with difficulty.
"Hahahaha, Ying'er, you're so clever." I laughed heartily.
Ying'er finally recognized my voice and exclaimed in surprise, "You bad boy, it's 'na jie zhuo '!!" I smiled slightly and said, "I'm still in my room, come up."
The doorbell rang, and Ying'er came in pouting, kicked off her slippers, ran to my big bed, propped up a pillow at the head of the bed, leaned back comfortably, then grabbed
another pillow and started watching TV with a pout. I smiled, opened the small refrigerator, took out a can of Wanglaoji herbal tea, opened it, and handed it to Ying'er. "Er," Ying'er took it,
this time without any hesitation: "Okay, listen, you're alone in the wilderness at night, you only have a bow and an arrow." At this moment, a
stern face and pouting came from the left.
I couldn't help but laugh: "Hey, I'll pay you for an hour." Ying'er snorted: "Anyway, you can get reimbursed for the room fee."
I began to regret saying too much yesterday, I shouldn't have said anything. I was so happy. Then I heard Ying'er say again: "Who told you to bully me just now?"
Ying'er's face suddenly turned red, and she threw the arrow in her hand at me. I laughed and jumped onto the bed with the pillow, jumping to Ying'er's
side . Ying'er's face was as red as a freshly picked red apple.
"Okay, what's the bet?" I didn't care about winning or losing; it was just that Ying'er was so happy, so I let her have it. The one
I should worry about is the research and development department at Beijing Film Academy, where she works. A few days ago, on the Unknown Space BBS, an old classmate boasted about graduating with a master's degree...
I reached out and grabbed Ying'er, saying very seriously, "Now I'm really going to bully you."
Ying'er then realized the seriousness of the situation, her face turning pale with fright. She stared at me blankly, offering no resistance. I laughed, spread one
hand, propped the pillow up on the bed, and leaned back comfortably, just like Ying'er had done earlier. Then I put my arm around Ying'er's shoulder. Ying'er hesitated for a moment, then slowly...
Ying'er leaned back against my shoulder, and I could almost hear her heartbeat.
She didn't say anything, but grabbed my arm and bit me hard. I cried out, and Ying'er relaxed. After
a moment of silence, she murmured, "I don't know. I didn't know anything just now. I seemed to have no ideas. If you really want to bully me,
maybe then said, "I don't know why, I just feel a special trust in you. Seeing you in freshman year
felt so familiar. Being next to you, I don't want to think about anything else. No matter what you do, I trust you completely."
"Even if I force you?" I pressed.
"Hmm." Ying'er hesitated for a moment, then finally nodded.
I suddenly felt a pang of guilt, turned Ying'er's head, and said seriously, "Ying'er, do you know that I once had a relationship with an inappropriate woman in an entertainment venue?"
After a long silence, I suddenly smiled and asked Ying'er, "If I had really tried to take advantage of you just now, what would you have done?"
I've also once stripped a singing girl naked with a client; I'm just more experienced in the ways of the world and better at pretending than you. I don't want to lay a hand on you, but
Shenzhen is a chaotic place, and working in this hotel, you'll inevitably encounter many people more cunning than me. "You slippery person, even if you're so naively trusting, you'll suffer a great loss
."
Ying'er said "Oh," without saying anything more, just nuzzling her little head against my shoulder to make herself more comfortable. I sighed inwardly.
Ying'er with no social experience, would listen to anything I said. I gently stroked Ying'er's head. She seemed
tired from the fright she'd just experienced, and gently fell asleep under my caress.
In the restless atmosphere, she quietly accumulated code, stubbornly resisting any management or business work, so she couldn't let go of such an opportunity. I said I knew,
and although I hadn't proposed going abroad, I wouldn't stop you. I added that I was already very fortunate to have known you for three years.
Ying'er later leaned on my shoulder and quietly fell asleep, just like that. Then, as I was about to fall asleep myself, she suddenly looked up and smiled at me, saying, "
Tonight is my last night in the country. Are you just going to let me go like this?"
I was startled awake and said with a bitter smile, "I'm afraid you'll regret it later." Ying'er suddenly turned over and hugged me tightly, saying, "I'll really
regret it ."
I still remember that night, during our passionate lovemaking, Ying'er wept uncontrollably. But it wasn't because of that initial pain and sorrow.
I don't know when, Ying'er had woken up, looked up, and was surprised to find tears in her eyes. She gently nudged me: "Did I bite you too hard just now?"
This little darling, I smiled and turned her head back to my shoulder, without saying a word. Ying'er knew I had something on my mind and wanted to help me, so she
started suggesting riddles. I smiled and agreed. Ying'er's riddles were actually too simple; even if she said "one," I answered without even thinking. Ying'er, feeling competitive
, said, "I have a riddle you definitely can't guess. I'll bet you."
Ying'er smiled mischievously: "If I win, you have to carry me downstairs later, we'll take the stairs." I laughed: "Okay, what if you lose?" Ying'er
hesitated: "I lost? Hmm..."
I interrupted her with a smile: "If you lose, let me kiss you."
Ying'er blushed, but still stubbornly replied: "Fine, I don't believe you can guess."
"A gorilla was eating Western food, watching a joke, and then died. How did the gorilla die? You have three minutes, begin."
"Say one, mean one."
"Hmm, there are three key points: gorilla, Western food, and jokes. Western food is different from Chinese food, the difference is the knife and fork. Jokes make people laugh, so the new key points are laughter, knife and
fork, and gorilla. Why gorilla?" I pondered for a moment, then smiled and said, "I know."
I raised my head, imitating King Kong, pounding my chest with my fists and making an "ooh" sound. Ying'er's mouth dropped open in surprise. I smiled and turned back to her
, "Ying'er, a bet is a bet."
I gently kissed her forehead. Ying'er's face turned as red as if it were about to bleed, her lips trembling slightly. I couldn't help but feel a surge of emotion.
Ying'er opened her eyes, looking at me with a mixture of relief and disappointment. After a while, she suddenly said to me, "Let's
make another bet. I'm sure I'll win this time." "
I chuckled mischievously, "Alright, but if I win this time, I'll have to kiss your lips." "
Sekiro, a demon is coming from the right. Are you going to shoot the wolf or the demon?"
I laughed, "Ying'er, you're so cunning. If I say I'm a pervert, you'll say it's wrong, I'm a perverted demon. If I say I'm a perverted demon, you'll say I
'm a pervert."
Ying'er was very smug: "That's right, I said I'd definitely win this time."
Looking at Ying'er's happy face, I couldn't bear to disappoint her, so I laughed, "Okay, I admit defeat. You haven't said what you'll do if you win?" Ying'er
tilted her head and thought for a moment, then said, "In Sichuan, I've only seen rivers, never the sea. I heard Shenzhen has a sea, but I've never been there. Will
you take me to see the sea?"
"Okay, next time I come, I'll definitely take you to Xiaomeisha to see the sea," I readily promised.
"Okay, then it's a deal." Ying'er extended her little finger, and I extended mine, our fingers intertwined.
Seeing Ying'er's radiant smile, I suddenly grinned mischievously and asked, "By the way, about the question from earlier, do you think I'm a pervert or a lecher?"
Ying'er's face flushed again, but this time, before she could react, I wrapped my arms tightly around her, pulling her into my embrace, and my lips were already heavily...
September 29, 2006.
Last time, I impulsively agreed to let Ying'er go to the beach. Back in Guangzhou, I realized I'd been to Shenzhen ten times... I haven't even been to the sea.
Then it suddenly dawned on me that since Ying'er left, I've completely lost interest in life.
For those three years, the two of us traveled across most of China; we had promised to see all the beautiful scenery in the world. Now, seven years after she left,
I haven't seen a single place. Bars and nightclubs have replaced my memories of mountains and rivers. I'm 30 now, and since she left, besides the receding hairline and
wrinkles around my eyes, I seem to have gained nothing.
I encountered Shenzhen, and it was a very unlucky day. The project was delayed by two months, and the client... An internal connection was disrupted, and the new supervisor won't be in place until next month—
it's a tricky situation. Exhausted, I arrived at the hotel that evening, feeling depressed. I dialed the massage parlor's number 10, but the girl who answered said number 10 had already finished work. She
asked if I wanted another technician, which I declined. I hung up dejectedly, checked the time—it was already past midnight—time to wash up and go to sleep.
Thinking back to the last time I kissed Ying'er, her dazed expression made me smile again. Then, something suddenly occurred to me: a colleague had once
said unequivocally, "In those saunas, don't be fooled by the girls' limited skills..." The machine, however, as long as you can speak well, go to the same person for three consecutive days, (almost no one will fail to get into bed with him). His
original intention was just to show his communication skills, but from my perspective, what I saw was the loneliness and inferiority of these people. When someone is willing to be nice to her, even if it's just
superficial , she will disregard everything and want to give to please or repay the other person. Thinking of Ying'er, I smiled and then sighed for a moment.
Halfway through the shower, the doorbell suddenly rang. My heart suddenly stirred, and I had a strange premonition. Standing there, Ying'er smiled, her eyes crinkling into crescent moons, and suddenly all my frustration vanished.
Ying'er wasn't wearing their formal attire, just a simple short dress, her youthful innocence still evident. Since coming in, she'd been giggling with her head down.
I asked curiously, "What are you laughing at?"
I chuckled, "You must have received too many complaints, you good-for-nothing." Suddenly remembering something, I said, "Oh right, you haven't called the bell yet."
I picked up the phone by the bed, but Ying'er slapped it away.
Perhaps this is the transition every girl goes through from a princess to an ordinary person.
"I slipped out quietly." Ying'er's face flushed slightly.
"Oh, is that so? Then you don't need to go back tonight, right?" I replied casually, then quickly realized I was in trouble and tried to dodge, but it was too late;
Ying'er grabbed my arm and bit me again.
However, this time, the bite wasn't hard.
I laughed, "Ying'er, you should hide for a bit; I'll change my clothes." Ying'er glanced at the towel around my waist, blushed, and glared at me.
"Not afraid of looking ugly." Then, she opened the wardrobe door, took out Lang Lingqing's bathrobe and slippers, wrinkled her nose at me, made a face, and went into the bathroom.
I also changed into my nightgown, and the sound of the shower came from the bathroom. I suddenly felt a little dazed. After a while, the water stopped, and Ying'er came out wearing her bathrobe,
saying with a hint of admiration, "Your room is nice, there's a shower, air conditioning, and even nightgown." After saying that, she suddenly realized her mistake and quickly corrected me, "Don't
misunderstand, I'm going back in a bit."
How could such a clever and elfin girl be so easily copied? I wonder if she's alright, in a foreign land. " Am I getting used to this foreign land? Never mind, I really don't know
." I leaned against the bed, a little helpless. "Ying'er, I'm tired. Come sit with me." Ying'er came over, sat on the bed, took off my glasses, and
placed her two thumbs on the back of my temples, rubbing them a couple of times. She gently asked, "Is it sore?"
I said yes. Ying'er said, "You haven't been sleeping enough. Lie down, I'll massage it for you."
I lay down, and Ying'er's hands touched my head, slowly massaging it. In just one week, Ying'er's skills had improved dramatically; she actually massaged it until it felt sore and swollen, which
was quite comfortable. However, I could clearly feel that the skin on her hands wasn't as smooth and delicate as before.
I sighed inwardly, recalling the foot massage parlor I frequented in Guangzhou, and the girl there who was honest, hardworking, and never stingy. She had once shown me
her on the knuckles of her two index fingers, there were two terrifying calluses, each the size of a hazelnut, caused by frequent visits to that place
. Perhaps I was truly exhausted, because under Ying'er's gentle massage, I unknowingly drifted off to sleep.

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