A Meter of Sunshine

Chu Songzhu felt this week was incredibly unlucky.
His supervisor asked him to photocopy ten documents. In a daze, he laid the original documents horizontally, forgetting that the photocopy paper was vertical. He pressed "start," and ten seconds later, it was too late to salvage the situation. A thick stack of incomplete, half-finished documents appeared.
Unfortunately, his supervisor witnessed this half-finished process, infuriating the middle-aged woman who was jumping up and down as if she'd been robbed of her soy sauce. Half an hour later, Chu Songzhu emerged from her office, his ears still ringing, his vision blurred by the middle-aged woman's gaping maw, and his mind filled with comments like "Even a pig is smarter than you" and "Giving birth to a piece of char siu would be better than giving birth to you."
The fat man, eagerly awaiting his return, patted him on the shoulder like a buddy: "It's nothing, just ignore it. I'll treat you to drinks tonight."
Chu Songzhu naturally shook his head. He now had a proper place to live.
Even abstaining from alcohol and cigarettes hadn't brought back his good luck. Rushing to catch the bus after work, the nearly empty 220 pulled up beside him. He waved to the driver from afar as soon as the bus started moving, but the driver, seeing his own eyes, didn't stop, stepped on the gas, and drove off.
Chu Songzhu waited for almost half an hour under the dim streetlights before finally boarding a crammed 220
, his stomach growling with hunger. Chu Songzhu had a chronic stomach ailment and couldn't stand being hungry. Arriving at his place, he didn't care about anything else, grabbing a handful of spaghetti and cooking it. Once the pasta was almost done, he quickly stir-fried some meat sauce and tomato sauce in a pan and poured it directly onto the drained noodles. He kept the water boiling, scalding the broccoli. After
finishing his homemade simple spaghetti, his senses returned to normal.
The cool mineral water soothed his mouth, which had been scalded by the hot noodles, instantly bringing him back to his senses.
He'd gotten used to it before, but after just a few days, he couldn't stand being alone anymore.
Chu Songzhu got up and put a plate and a pair of chopsticks in the sink; a drop of dish soap was enough. He deliberately turned the water down to the lowest setting, tensely pricking up his ears, afraid of missing even a single ring
of the phone. After tidying up, he returned to the living room, still quiet. He checked the caller ID several times, but still nothing.
He sighed, turned on the wall lamp on the first floor, turned off the main light, and went upstairs to the second floor.
When he opened his own door, his gaze always involuntarily drifted towards the door next to it. He should have
just asked him to let him know he arrived safely.
Lu Zhuo had been on a business trip to the United States for a week. Before he left, Chu Songzhu hadn't asked him to call; it would be strange for two men to ask such a thing.
He hadn't expected him to have long phone conversations every day, but surely he should let her know he arrived safely? But a week had passed, and the phone still hadn't responded. Chu Songzhu even thought it was broken and tried dialing it himself.
Was this how relationships between men should be conducted?
Chu Songzhu wondered if this was the difference between him and women. No one, and no one could have taught him.
If the other party didn't call, did that mean he should call back? What should he say when he calls? "Hello, did you arrive safely in America?" No, it's been a week, if he's still not safe, he should call the police. "Hello, is the weather nice there?"
Chu Songzhu chuckled at his own humor.
Perhaps he should take the initiative to call, whether as a roommate or something else. Even if there's nothing between them, someone he knows has the right to call, right?
Wait, what's his American number?
Chu Songzhu pressed his forehead against the edge of the bathtub in frustration.
Oh well.

Days without having to wake someone up always felt unreal. Chu Songzhu stood in front of the dressing mirror and zipped up his pants. The bite marks from the night before his departure were fading, the three on his neck barely visible; he wouldn't have to wear that thin turtleneck sweater tomorrow.
"You actually like it when I kiss you here, don't you?" The person chuckled softly, nibbling at him with his teeth—a handsome face.
He was too shy to say it, but Chu Songzhu secretly agreed. Every place that guy kissed him was a place that made him lose his senses.
People say winter is the perfect season for romance.
He felt the cool temperature created the perfect atmosphere for that kind of thing. It made them hold each other tighter and tighter; the soft warmth of human skin was addictive at the slightest touch. The contact of young skin, a mere brush, could ignite a fire within.
Chu Songzhu had never known he could be so infatuated. Facing the mirror, his mind replayed the chaos and suffocation of that night. He didn't know how late it was; he remembered feeling the bed was about to collapse, his sweat seemingly drained, the blankets still damp when he woke up in the afternoon. Even in the temperature-controlled villa, he woke up shivering from the cold, his body utterly powerless, feeling empty. His fingers sluggishly reached out; the other side was even colder than the blankets beneath him. He
could have woken himself up to say goodbye when he left.
But that wasn't Lu Zhuo.
Lu Zhuo was the most unbelievable person Chu Songzhu had ever met. The things that should be happening at his age seemed incongruous on him.
Chu Songzhu often imagined what Lu Zhuo would be like ten years from now: still handsome and dashing, still the prince charming from a fairy tale, his career undoubtedly more successful than now, his smiles fewer, and the way he squinted at people more intimidating than warm.
Subconsciously, Chu Songzhu resisted such a Lu Zhuo. Because such a Lu Zhuo would no longer have him in his eyes. Such a Lu Zhuo would be accompanied by a wealthy heiress from a prominent family, virtuous and kind, who could use her family's influence to help him in crucial moments.
Where would Chu Songzhuo stand then?
He picked up a magazine with a feature on Lu Zhuo at the newsstand, a flicker of secret joy crossing his face: I know this person. But under the newsstand owner's disdain, he timidly put it down, carrying two small cabbages towards his rented room.
He was just such an insignificant person.
God had been distracted, letting him meet him. When God came to his senses, dust to dust, ashes to ashes.
He knew their ending long ago. Lu Zhuo probably knew too.
So they didn't say anything, nor did they investigate what their relationship was.
Even if they decided who they were now, what difference would it make? In the end, they were all on the same planet. Have you ever seen a swan and a toad sharing a nest?
He was young, and Lu Zhuo was even younger. Young people always do some outrageous things; this was just a somewhat unforgettable outrageous event in their lives.
No, perhaps for Lu Zhuo, it wasn't even unforgettable.
A chaotic mood, a chaotic tie.
Chu Songzhu looked up at the alarm clock, surprised that he had been daydreaming for so long so early in the morning.
Grabbing his briefcase, his suit jacket hanging in his hand, he pulled a sandwich from the refrigerator and rushed out the door.
Habitually checking the door lock, he was jogging forward when he saw a silver-gray Maserati speeding towards him. The car window rolled down, revealing a bright smile: "Hi."
He looked a little thinner, with light dark circles under his eyes, and his hair wasn't as sleek. His shirt was slightly wrinkled from the long flight, but none of this could hide his radiance.
Chu Songzhu was still staring at him blankly when Lu Zhuo grabbed his tie and pulled him closer. "Haven't seen you for a week, and you can't even say hello?"
Chu Songzhu was about to say something when Lu Zhuo quickly lowered his head and kissed him.
The familiar, sweet scent instantly invaded his body, his lips and tongue greedily devoured. Chu Songzhu hadn't expected his legs to go weak. His hand, clutching his briefcase, frantically braced against the car door to steady himself.
Lu Zhuo glanced around reluctantly, watching his lapse with a hint of smugness. The shame of being caught made his face burn instantly. Chu Songzhu straightened up angrily, but Lu Zhuo yanked at his tie, making him wince.
"How can you not even tie a tie properly?" Lu Zhuo grinned like a wolf who'd gotten a good deal, obediently offering his hands to straighten the tie.
It was you who tore it!
Chu Songzhu braced himself against the car door, trying to keep his body low, cooperating with Lu Zhuo's slender fingers as they deftly folded and straightened the tie.
In the quiet of the villa area in the early morning, the birdsong could be heard. Outside, a biting wind howled, but inside the small space they huddled together, it was warm and cozy.
Chu Songzhu, who hadn't spoken until now, looked away, a little embarrassed. "Why are you back?"
"I came back as soon as I finished work." Lu Zhuo straightened himself up, gave him a final, careful look, and smiled with satisfaction. "Did you miss me?"
Chu Songzhu looked down at his impeccably tailored bow tie and replied, "Just
lusting after him." Lu Zhuo chuckled twice, a tired laugh. "Fine, don't admit it then. I'm going back to sleep."
Chu Songzhu then stepped back, straightened up, and waited for him to start up again before stepping forward to remind him, "I'll be late today."
"Oh." Lu Zhuo yawned and waved.
Chu Songzhu watched the expensive car drive into the garage, and a sliver of sunshine secretly parted the gloom in his heart.

A little mishap before work had nearly made Chu Songzhu late. In the cold weather, he hurriedly clocked in, rushed to his seat, and took off his suit jacket, revealing it soaked with sweat.
A new employee recently joined the company, a well-behaved and clever recent graduate. Chu Songzhu was naturally promoted, and he no longer had to do the miscellaneous tasks. For the first few days, he wasn't used to it and always arrived on time, surprising the young woman who thought he was there to supervise and guide him.
"Wow, you're late too?" Chu Songzhu, still standing and adjusting his clothes, was immediately caught by the chubby guy.
"Ah... there's a bit of traffic today..."
"This is the first time I've heard you've encountered traffic..." Fatty looked at him with disbelief, glancing at the bustling crowd around him busy eating breakfast and getting water. He then boldly teased, "Got some luck with women lately, huh?"
"Huh?"
"Come on, who do you think I am? You're like a lost soul a few days ago, your face was all black. You look radiant today, did you make up with someone?"
"Nothing like that..."
"Invite me out for a meal sometime. You're the closest person to me in this company, and I never even introduce you. That's too formal."
"I already said nothing like that..." "
That's not fair. You're keeping it all hidden..."
Chu Songzhu was a little overwhelmed. Just then, someone called Fatty to pick up a package, which stopped Chu Songzhu's cold sweat.
"I'll see you another day, remember tonight's project..." Fatty said as he walked away.
Chu Songzhu quickly smiled and said goodbye.
Big Fatty was always jovial and seemed carefree, but when it came to business, he was shrewd and efficient.
Chu Songzhu turned on his computer, and the little bit of joy he felt that morning was immediately extinguished by Big Fatty's sudden appearance. As the saying goes, the onlooker sees most of the game. He realized he had unknowingly fallen so clearly into this mess.
Sigh!

Chu Songzhu had a business meeting with a client that evening, his first deal since joining the company. In China, business is typically conducted over dinner. He was being accompanied by a senior employee, and he had already reviewed the necessary procedures at the company. His main task today was to ensure the client had a good meal and drinks. If all went well, the project should be signed the next day.
He arrived early at the reserved private room at the restaurant and waited for over half an hour before a portly middle-aged man arrived with his secretary. With a senior colleague present, many procedures became much simpler. Chu Songzhu, however, felt a chill run down his spine at the sight of the cases of beer.
He had a sensitive stomach and never drank casually.
"Drink!" The man called General Manager Wang raised his glass with high spirits, and the senior colleague smiled and echoed his sentiment. Chu Songzhu gripped his glass tightly, steeling his resolve.
"Cheers!" He downed the glass.
"Great!" "For our pleasant cooperation..." What kind of excuses are these? When it comes to getting you to drink that glass, they can even use the excuse of needing to go to the restroom.
This was the third time he'd asked the waiter to open a bottle of beer, and Chu Songzhu had already gone to the restroom twice. After four bottles of beer, his head was starting to spin.
"Little Chu, you've got a good capacity for alcohol." General Manager Wang, with his arm around his young and beautiful secretary, his face flushed red like it had been smeared with pig's blood.
"I just don't show it..." Chu Songzhu was telling the truth, but before he could finish, he was immediately used as an excuse to force him to drink more.
He finished two more bottles.
Chu Songzhu swayed unsteadily, his head drooping as he walked, looking down at the tiled floor. When he realized he couldn't walk in a straight line, he knew he was drunk.
His mind was clear, but his limbs were out of his control.
Staggering to the men's restroom, he grabbed the faucet and vomited everything up.
He hadn't eaten much all night, just alcohol.
The vomiting actually sobered him up a bit. He sluggishly splashed water on his face, his throat aching slightly. The thought of going back to that wine cellar and opium den made his legs weak.
He wiped his face, and in the water-drenched mirror, he saw a disheveled man, his hair unkempt and wet, his eyes vacant, his tie crooked, his shirt unbuttoned, the front transparent from the water.
The air conditioning in the restroom was blowing all around him, but his head felt unbearably hot. He
took a deep breath and floated back to that alcohol-filled place.
By the time he'd filled Mr. Wang's beer belly, Chu Songzhu had lost count of how many bottles he'd drunk. After his senior and he, still swaying, saw Mr. Wang into the car, the night was finally over.
"Good job," his senior patted him on the shoulder, and Chu Songzhu remembered giving a sluggish smile in return.
"Where do you live?" The senior taxi driver tossed him into the taxi and took a drag of his cigarette.
"Excellence Garden." Chu Songzhu, slumped beside the driver's seat, took two seconds to remember his destination.
"See you tomorrow." The senior taxi driver slammed the door shut with a flourish; his mission was over.
The air in the taxi wasn't fresh either.
Chu Songzhu leaned against the window, squinting. Outside, it was a quiet midnight, the streetlights dim and hazy.
"Could you open the window a little..."
A chilly wind immediately rushed into his brain, up his neck, and made goosebumps rise on his front.
"Have you had too much to drink?" A strange voice sounded in his ear.
Chu Songzhu squinted. The car lights weren't on, so he could only make out a general outline: the driver was a balding middle-aged man. He was now sizing him up while driving.
"Hmm..." Chu Songzhu was a little sleepy and replied perfunctorily.
Unexpectedly, the other man launched into a lively conversation.
"Judging from your accent, you're not a local, are you?" "Where do you work?" "What do you do?"
Chu Songzhu was puzzled; the conversation was getting increasingly personal. Then she thought, perhaps she'd encountered a talkative driver. Not really interested in engaging, but not wanting to appear too cold, she could only respond with monosyllabic replies.
Seeing "Zhuoyue Garden" in sight, the driver slowly stopped the car.
Chu Songzhu asked him for a receipt for reimbursement, but while waiting, the man remained enthusiastic.
"We're here so quickly! I feel an instant connection with you; you're like my dream girl."
Chu Songzhu instantly became more alert.
The only sound in the carriage was the click of the ticket machine. The man tore off a receipt, but instead of handing it to her, he extended his hand to Chu Songzhu.
Chu Songzhu, as if possessed, extended her right hand in a handshake gesture, only to have it abruptly grabbed.
"Give me a kiss."
The other person pressed their lips to his in what they considered a gentlemanly gesture. Chu Songzhu felt a ringing in his ears, his mind exploding.
Damn it!
Chu Songzhu swiftly pulled his hand back, stood up angrily, and slammed the door shut.
The other person even lewdly smiled at him from inside the car, saying, "I hope we'll meet again someday."

The more Chu Songzhu thought about it, the angrier he became. His mind was crystal clear, but his hands and feet trembled with rage, and he could barely stand.
The security guard in the complex saw him from afar and stepped out: "Mr. Chu, are you alright?"
Chu Songzhu's head was screaming, but when it reached his lips, it was as if numb; he couldn't utter a single word for a long time, only shaking his head slightly.
"How about I take you there?"
Chu Songzhu hadn't been particularly close to this security guard before, and he recognized her, which surprised her. The sudden question, coupled with the lingering fear from earlier, made her stammer out, "No...it's okay..."
"Really not necessary?"
Chu Songzhu shook her head violently, anxiously wanting to grab her sluggish legs and give them a hand.
The neighborhood was quiet, with many streetlights, but none were very bright. Chu Songzhu swayed along the flowerbeds, grabbing onto anything for support.
Lu Zhuo had never seemed to drive that far before; how come this journey looked like a pilgrimage to the West, stretching as far as the eye could see?
Thinking of Lu Zhuo, Chu Songzhu felt a lump in her throat and swallowed hard.
She had no connections, no special talents. To support herself, working hard and enduring hardship was only natural. Drinking with clients, because she wasn't a woman, didn't feel like a loss of dignity. The thought of having to stumble home drunk every night, only to encounter that perverted old man again, sent a wave of bitterness rushing to her feet. She
should have given that bald bastard a good beating.
Then she thought, in her current state, what she thought was a forceful slam might have just been a gentle push. The image of that bald bastard's smug smile filled her with rage, her face burning.
She wondered what time it was; Lu Zhuo should be asleep by now.
Yet, she also hoped he would be waiting for her with the light on, smiling.
This night felt so long; she longed to hold him, to feel his comforting warmth and calming presence.
Reaching the familiar villa, she was met with complete darkness; her newly risen hope plummeted.
She fumbled for her keys for ages, the temperature sensor light turning on just in time, but her hands were shaking so badly she couldn't manage to unlock them. Chu Songzhu was sweating profusely from the rush, and the lingering effects of the alcohol made him even more irritated. A gust of cold wind sent shivers down his spine. Once inside, he vaguely remembered he was only wearing a half-damp shirt.
The room was still warm, the wall lamps were all on, yet Chu Songzhu still felt incredibly dark. The strength that had carried him back here suddenly drained away, and he couldn't take another step.
The stairs that were so close now seemed like a ladder to heaven, impossible to climb to the top.
So tired, so very tired, he just wanted to soak in hot water and never wake up again.
Thinking this, the light sources before him slowly disappeared, flickering until they became a black curtain.

Chu Songzhu regained consciousness when he was awakened by a burning sensation in his throat. He tried to swallow, but to no avail. He just wanted to move, but the whole universe seemed to spin upside down. His breathing was heavy, and his hearing was impaired.
He knew his eyes were closed, and he felt someone moving around beside him.
The air felt different; it wasn't the familiar smell.
“…He should be waking up soon.” It was a high-pitched woman’s voice.
“Let me see.” A deep voice laced with a frivolous laugh.
The man slowly approached, and Chu Songzhu used all his strength to slowly open his eyes.
There was no blinding light as expected; all he could see was white.
“Awake?” A man with silver-rimmed glasses smiled.
Who was he? Where was he?
“This is a hospital.” The man seemed to know what he was thinking.
Why was I in a hospital?
“You had a fever. When Young Master Lu brought you here, you were almost 40 degrees Celsius.” The man answered with a smile, then turned to the nurse and said, “Give him some water.”
Chu Songzhu closed his eyes again; his dizziness was still severe.
Two nurses came over, helped him sit up against a thick pillow, and scooped a spoonful of water to feed him. Chu Songzhu struggled to reach out and take the cup; he wasn’t used to being cared for by women.
The water, at just the right temperature, couldn’t soothe his burning throat, but at least it offered a moment of relief.
"Give him some medicine after he eats something." The man pushed up his glasses, preparing to leave.
"Wait..." Chu Songzhu frowned. This voice didn't sound like his own; it was dry, like withered wood. "Wait... a minute... where's Lu Zhuo?"
"You'll have to ask him about the young master yourself." It was still that wicked smile.
"...Oh..."
"You have a phone with you; you can use it as you please." The last sentence was said with genuine sincerity.
After eating some porridge, taking his temperature, and taking his medicine, Chu Songzhu remembered he should call the company.
As soon as his boss answered the call, he scolded him without saying a word. When he interrupted, barely breathing, the other party lowered their voice insincerely: "Oh? Sick? Why did you turn off your phone? Out of battery? Then rest well and come back to work tomorrow. Without a doctor's certificate, it doesn't count as sick leave. So young, and you can get a fever from drinking..."
Chu Songzhu felt his head getting heavier and heavier. Before the woman could finish her rant, he quickly said goodbye and hung up the phone.
He closed his eyes, slipped into the alcohol-smelling blankets, but sleepiness wouldn't come. He hoped Lu Zhuo might call to check on him. But as darkness fell, the phone remained silent. Perhaps he should call to express his gratitude, but when he reached for something, he realized he was wearing hospital clothes; he had no idea where his phone or even his own clothes were.
He slept fitfully for most of the night, having many chaotic dreams. In his dreams, there were his father, mother, and younger brother. The images drifted like snowflakes, indistinct and blurry.
Then he dreamt of Lu Zhuo, his handsome face displaying a gentle smile, saying things he couldn't remember, but they must have been very comforting. In this world, his closest relatives had left him, leaving only his beloved younger brother. He didn't have many friends; Lu Zhuo, with whom he shared a physical relationship, was probably his closest confidant. But why didn't he even bother to call? Rather than bringing him to this private hospital room, it would have been better to let him stay home and sweat it out all day. Just having him by my side, even without doing anything, would have been enough. Just sitting next to him would have been comforting.
But even that meager warmth was beyond his reach, something he couldn't have.
Was he asking for too much, demanding too much?

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A Meter of Sunshine

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