Regarding applying to the Party for sexual life

Dear [Name of Party Member]:
My wife and I are your comrades-in-arms. Just a few days ago, you relayed the case of a couple arrested for watching pornographic VCDs at home, and recently we saw a report of a couple being expelled from school for engaging in sexual activity. This has given us a profound legal education and raised our awareness. We deeply understand that sex is a bourgeois pursuit, and we, as private entrepreneurs, have noble sentiments and would never do such a thing unless absolutely necessary.
When we joined the Party, we swore to dedicate our entire being, including our souls, to the Party and to our cause of building a moderately prosperous society. Therefore, our bodies belong to us, and also to you, but ultimately they belong to you. Thus, before using any part of our bodies, we should report to the organization and obtain approval.
In view of this, my wife and I hereby submit an application to the Party organization to resume marital sexual activity next year. We hope the Party organization will review our application, retaining the good and discarding the bad, and promptly approve it, issuing a certificate so that we can legally engage in sexual activity, and also facilitating inspections by relevant departments. As the applicants, we solemnly assure the organization that we will strictly follow the approved procedures and will never violate organizational discipline.
We guarantee that our sex lives will be politically conscious, in accordance with the family planning policy, and free from unforeseen circumstances; that we will prioritize learning and use advanced, reliable, and world-class contraceptive technologies; and that we will uphold righteousness, avoiding the use of lights, nudity, and uncivilized behavior. Our purpose in having sex is not for procreation, nor for pleasure, but to increase our resistance to pornography within a legal framework. Imperialism, with its relentless ambition to destroy us, is currently launching all sorts of sugar-coated bullets shaped like beautiful women—including mistresses, extramarital affairs, premarital sex, prostitution, massage, and escort services—the list goes on. Under such a severe situation, enhancing our immunity to sexual temptations is the glorious responsibility of every married Party member. We are confident that, armed with the latest theories of our Party, we can stand firm in this position and guard this line of defense. Our sex lives are the fundamental guarantee of our Party's unwavering commitment to its principles, a sacrifice we make to prevent imperialist sugar-coated bullets: only through great sacrifice can we achieve true change.
Practice is the sole criterion for testing truth. Based on the actual situation of my spouse and I's married life this year and the serious situation of external spiritual pollution, we request an appropriate increase in the frequency of sexual activity to enhance our resistance to pornography. We hope the organization will consider this. Our plan is: four times a week next year; if resistance is not improved enough, we intend to increase it to once a day. It will usually take place at night, lasting an average of 10 to 20 minutes, to ensure it does not interfere with our revolutionary work the next day. The specific process includes: foreplay, about 5 minutes, mainly listening to revolutionary model music; the main act, about 3 minutes, with equality between men and women, and no special treatment; and the ending, about 3 minutes, mainly to test resistance and record it for future auditing by the organization. Location: the bedroom, in bed. Sexual method: traditional ethnic methods, absolutely no Westernization. Technical reference materials: only reading publicly published materials with unified ISBNs and without prior notice. Auxiliary drugs: mainly domestic Zhibao Sanbian Wan (a traditional Chinese medicine), with appropriate importation of American Viagra (commonly known as Viagra, whose chemical components are currently partially produced and exported). Please approve.

Respectfully yours ,
Revolutionary Salute!

Applicant: Dongmen Qing, Pan Jinlian. Taiping Shengshi's
Instructions: Comrades, how well this application is written! They have elevated their personal life requirements to the level of preventing the Party's demise, completely abandoning sentimental attachments. It is worthy of your careful reading. As for their specific plans, I suggest we discuss them carefully during organizational meetings to reach a consensus, unify our thinking, and coordinate our actions. If necessary, could we hold an on-site meeting, with Deputy Secretary Dan leading the way? Please consider this.

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Regarding applying to the Party for sexual life

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