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Redemption still leads to ruin 

Author: Chaotic Moment
Word Count: 4431
I hate the shame she brought me.
Motherly love. I envy other people's motherly love, and thus hate motherly love.
The family tragedy in junior high school led to my parents' divorce. Among relatives and friends, my mother was considered a slut, and relatives
and friends were ashamed to be with her, despised by everyone. In her predicament of being abandoned by her family, she dejectedly went to a foreign land and
has been missing ever since.
I was still young then and missed my mother very much. Especially after my stepmother came, I missed her even more. The last bit of missing her
turned into rage and resentment as time went by. I hated my mother for abandoning me. As I grew up, I heard
the rumors . My mother was caught having an affair, which led to the divorce. Relatives and friends didn't
like her. She became all alone, so she had no choice but to leave. I stopped missing her and started to look down on my mother.
After high school started, my mother came back to see me. But by then, I was blinded by hatred
. She bought me a cell phone. Back then, cell phones were still a rare commodity in high school; owning
one was incredibly cool. She stood at my door, dressed fashionably,
holding the broken phone (by today's standards), wiping away tears, standing there for a long time, unwilling to leave. This caught
the attention of the neighbors, and for a long time, my mother was the subject of their gossip.
I overheard them saying many times that my mother was actually a beautiful young lady. What was a young lady?
Of course knew. Seeing their gossipy eyes, I felt like I was being pricked by needles, and my contempt and hatred for my mother intensified. Every time my mother
came to see me, I ruthlessly turned her away. I began to miss her; after all, she was my mother. But
the pride in my heart prevented me from being ashamed of having such a mother.
I went to university and began to struggle for my own life. In my father's newly formed family, a
younger brother , and I became superfluous. Everything depended on loans and my own part-time jobs. University life was tough. My family didn't
know how she found out which university I was attending.
We walked silently together through the alleys of the university campus. Her caring words eased my loneliness and indifference. She took
me out for the most lavish dinner I'd ever had since starting university. We were usually frugal, eating only 3-yuan
boxed lunches . At that moment, I couldn't help but cry. During my most difficult time, when my father abandoned me for his family, and my relatives
avoided me for fear I'd ask for donations, my mother, despised and looked down upon by everyone, came to my side at this crucial moment
, comforting and supporting me.
In the park, I hugged my mother and cried for a long time. We went back to her hotel and talked a lot. This
opened my heart, and I accepted my mother. I still didn't talk about her past.
The next day, my mother accompanied me to buy new clothes and a cell phone. She stayed with me for another day. When she left, she gave
me a card with 6,000 yuan in it, telling me not to work so hard to earn tuition and to focus on my studies.
After that , my mother would deposit money into the card every month, and when it was time to pay my tuition, she would deposit another 1,000 yuan
for me. My life started to improve, and I achieved excellent grades.
I started contacting my mother by phone, and many times late at night I heard moaning and sounds of penetration coming from her.
I cried, sitting on the edge of the bed, hugging my mother and sobbing. My mother comforted me, promising to support me through university for another year
. This was the aftermath of my mother forgetting to turn off the phone. You can imagine that when my mother answered my call, she
might be being caressed or kissed by a man, or even being slowly
penetrated, because I heard heavy breathing that didn't belong to my mother. I felt a pang of heartache, but felt powerless
to change it.
I simply buried my head in my mother's... He pulled down her panties under her skirt, tightly sucked on her labia, and desperately...
When my mother came to visit me for the second time, I accompanied her back to the hotel. I couldn't help but ask her if she was
prostituting herself. She vehemently denied it. When I mentioned the voice on the phone, she lowered her head in shame. Finally, she told
me that she had no skills and it was difficult to find work outside, but this job paid well, so she continued. "
Come on, you can even buy me a house, then I'll stop." I was very emotional. I said that after I got a job, I would definitely let
my mother live a normal life and take good care of her. After years of working away from home, hearing her son's heartfelt words, my mother
cried tears of joy. She hugged me tightly, unwilling to let go. The passionate expression of the night made our feelings...
She would squat down, letting me caress and kiss her clean anus. Sometimes, she would lie on the sofa, spreading her legs,
returning to her childhood. At this time, her heart would be filled with... My mother visited me this time and stayed with me for a long time, more than two weeks. On our last night at the hotel,
we strolled the streets until late before returning. Back at the hotel, lying in bed, I couldn't help but ask my mother
how those men made love. At first, my mother hesitated, only saying, "That's how it's done. You'll
know when you get married." But after I kept pressing her, she became more open, perhaps feeling she had just gained her son's approval and
didn't want to spoil my mood. She began to slowly and specifically tell me about her life as a prostitute, how those men kissed her,
how they fucked her. Listening, my penis became as hard as iron.
Finally, I begged my mother to let me see her body. Unable to resist my pleading, she lifted her
bra and let me see her breasts. I couldn't help but touch them with my hands and even suck on them. My mother's nipples. She
didn't refuse, only whispering, "Okay, okay, son, you've licked Mommy so well, go to sleep."
Seeing my mother pull down her clothes to cover her breasts, I was distracted. Lying in bed, I couldn't sleep, my mind
filled with my mother's large, swaying breasts. I couldn't help but reach into my mother's underwear and gently caress
her breasts. How strong was my sexual desire? The mother-son relationship was so difficult to repair. I didn't care about my son's
feelings, and besides, filial piety is a matter of course. If you don't tell me and I don't tell you about our sex, who will know? And
it's okay for a son to give his breasts to his mother
. Feeling the desire in my hands, my mother asked me, "Ah Shou, is your lower body wet?" I
said shyly, "Yes."
"How can you sleep like this? You have to go to class tomorrow. How about Mom helps you masturbate? You'll be done after you come,
that's what men are like," my mother whispered in my ear. I immediately agreed, but
I was still very embarrassed to show my penis in front of my mother. I had never shown it to a woman before either.
I lay in bed, pulled back the covers, but hesitated to take off my underwear. My mother, understandingly
, knelt beside me and helped me pull down my underwear. She grasped my hard, hot penis and began to slide it up and down. I was
happy, and it was so important. I couldn't ejaculate.
Finally, I don't know if it was my mother's professional habit or something, but seeing I couldn't ejaculate, she stuck out her tongue
. I threw down my phone and yelled at her, telling her to get lost. I watched her from upstairs, one hand
on her head, masturbating me while licking my glans, finally taking my entire
penis into her mouth. Watching my mother swallow my semen, I felt a strange sense of emotion. So this is what sex is.
Finally, after my strong pleas, my mother stayed another day. That night, my mother allowed me to kiss her
lips and breasts, but she wouldn't let me touch her genitals no matter what, and I didn't force her. I knew it was taboo.
Finally, during my mother's oral sex, I ejaculated again.
With a heavy heart, I bid farewell to my mother and threw myself wholeheartedly into my studies. Four years of university flew
by , during which I earned numerous scholarships. My mother visited me many times, satisfying my
desire for her body. I explored her upper body repeatedly, and she, in turn, satisfied my sexual desires with her upper body
(such as oral sex and breast play). After many attempts to resist my pleas, she finally allowed me to look at her genitals and
touch her thick pubic hair and dark vulva. Ultimately, it stopped at simply exploring her genitals; I didn't break through
the final barrier and penetrate her. This left me with a lingering regret and a persistent desire.
I graduated and found a stable, high-paying job. With my mother's support, I made a down payment on
a decent apartment, and with my monthly payments, I still had a considerable amount of money left over. After working for a year, I
had enough money to start decorating the apartment. In the third month after the renovations were completed, I moved into my own place.
Under my own circumstances, I became even more lonely and my personality became eccentric. But at that moment, my mother appeared. I didn't know about
the new home. I was very happy at that moment, and excitedly invited my mother to come and see my new home. [ The following appears to be unrelated and possibly machine-translated
text: "Focusing on licking a black fungus, my sharp fingers constantly probing the vagina overflowing with lustful fluid and the always tight ..."] My
mother was also very happy for me, and a week later she came to the city where I worked to visit me. I also took a few
days off to spend time with my mother. I took her around the world and let her get familiar with the city, eating all the local delicacies.
My mother was very gratified and excited; having a son is truly wonderful.
That night, while we were watching TV at home, my mother told me she was leaving and would come to see me again in a while.
I cried impulsively, telling her to stop being a prostitute, that she was already so old, and to stay with me;
I could support her. My mother also cried impulsively, saying she was content as long as I was doing well, and that she would go and earn some money for me to get
married in the future. I couldn't persuade my mother to change her mind. I lay in bed all night, unable to sleep.
The next morning, I heard my mother's footsteps in the living room. I rushed out, not even wearing clothes except my
underwear. I knew my mother was leaving, and she wanted to leave quietly, afraid I would try to stop her. I rushed to her,
knelt on the ground, and hugged her tightly, begging her to stay. Listening to her countless excuses and comforting words,
I sucked on her, my tongue constantly churning deep inside her vagina.
My mother was pushed to the floor by me, and I spread her legs, desperately sucking on her labia, refusing to let go.
It was very sexy back then, though I didn't understand.
I frantically licked my mother's genitals. Finally, I pressed myself against her, thrusting my penis into her body.
My mother's throbbing, in my intense... Her body softened slowly with each thrust.
I picked up my mother, carried her into my bedroom, and undressed her. I kissed her wildly on the bed,
frantically thrusting into her vagina. My mother could only gasp and moan as she received the intense
impact I was giving her. She gripped the sheets tightly, enduring my brutality. Her breasts trembled, and her tightly closed eyes
slowly opened, revealing loving eyes, gazing at me so tenderly, making my thrusts slow and gentle,
sliding back and forth between her bodies.
I began to hold my mother naked, slowly thrusting into her vagina, caressing her breasts as
we lost ourselves in each other. French kiss. The passion slowly cooled, and semen had already entered my mother's vagina. But my penis still couldn't bear
to stop. That wet, warm, tingling sensation quickly made me ejaculate. A large amount of semen shot into my mother's vagina and
was pulled out. Holding my mother like that, I said passionately, "Mom, please allow me. I'll support you, I don't need a wife,
you are my wife, I love you, Mom!"
Like my mother. "
Please."
My mother said impulsively, "Silly child, how can Mom be your wife? It's not that Mom doesn't want to be with you
. It's just that Mom's taste is bad. If I'm with you, those relatives and friends will laugh at you, and you
won't be able to hold your head up in front of them."
"No, it's not like that. Mom, your lower body is mine, and will always belong only to me. I don't want you
to remarry , nor do I want you to go back to prostitution. I can't bear other men entering your vagina and playing with your breasts..." I couldn't bear the sight of strange penises thrusting in and out of my mouth, ejaculating inside my body. I didn't care about other
women's breasts. My mother didn't refuse either; perhaps having worked in this industry for a long time, she understood men's needs, especially since
you and I had lived together. Those relatives and friends knew, and it proved you'd laid down your weapons, wasn't that good?
Finally, at my urging, my mother agreed to live with me. A week later, she left that place...
Everyone says a mother's love is selfless and boundless. The gentlest love is a mother's love. But I longed for a mother's love, yet I couldn't get it.
All the little things... completely... lived with me. That night, after making love with my mother, she warned me
not to only think about her body. When it's time to talk about girlfriends, I have to go. She can only satisfy my sexual desires;
in the future having children and building a family will still depend on a wife. I promised her that.
However, my mother is like my first woman, and my attachment to her is something I can't shake off in a short time. My mother noticed
this . So she did her best to please me, letting me vent
my boundless desires on her body.
Sometimes I would lie on the floor, and my mother would come over, squat in front of me, lift her skirt, pull down one side of her
panties, and bring her labia to my mouth, letting me lick her genitals and drink her vaginal fluids. Then
she would lift her legs and buttocks, making it easier for me to lick her vulva and anus. Or she would lie on the edge of the bed, or on the balcony at night.
She arched her buttocks, letting me thrust into her vagina and anus.
I was called to the administration office by the teacher and saw my mother. I didn't want to see her, yet I was afraid others would notice something. My
mother stopped going out and quietly stayed home doing chores. Relatives and friends alike praised her positive change and my filial piety. Relatives began to accept her, and during holidays, she
would sit with them. Everyone accepted her. My mother was very excited and happy.
But who could know that every night, in the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom, a mouth, and an anus, were constantly being violated?
Her breasts, distorted from being rubbed, accompanied by the sounds of genital impact. The panting of her genitals rose and fell.
This was the eternal secret between my mother and me, hidden and obscene. Lust surged, semen erupted. Was it a path to
ruin or salvation? It was impossible to tell.

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