Cao Heibi

Before recounting this story, I want to clarify
that while it is true, it didn't happen to me. It was told by a cousin of mine during a drunken episode. This happened only three days before I wrote this account. For safety reasons, all names in this article are pseudonyms. I hope my fellow readers will only read the story and not try to dox me; doing so will be pointless. Also, I want to advise all my fellow drinkers to drink less in the future, and even if you do, try to avoid getting drunk. Even if you do get drunk, avoid becoming completely unconscious, especially experiencing amnesia. During a brief period of amnesia, you might unleash things you've been suppressing for a long time. I've always understood alcohol-induced amnesia as a loss of conscious control leading to a subconscious outburst that takes over your thoughts. I've also experienced alcohol-induced amnesia, and the behavior during that time is truly incomprehensible to most people, even to myself. Thinking about it now is terrifying, and I break out in a cold sweat. Here, I reiterate this warning to everyone. The incident I'm recounting is what my cousin revealed after suffering from amnesia while drunk. The next day, after he sobered up, I tried to probe him with some suggestive questions, but he seemed completely unaware of anything. I then pretended I hadn't heard anything he'd said the night before.

This happened nine years ago, a year before his son was born. This incident had been weighing on his mind for nine years, and I even suspect he might have revealed it in other situations due to amnesia while drunk. If I were subjected to nine years of psychological torment, I think I would have already broken down.

Time: Nine years ago, in 2003

Location: A small mountain village near Baoji City, Shaanxi Province

Characters: Will appear one by one in the "story".

In the first month of 2002, my cousin got married and lived with his parents after the wedding. My cousin's wife is from Mei County, named Wang Yue. We met through a local matchmaker. At that time, my cousin was already 29 years old, which is considered extremely old for a bachelor in the countryside. Because his family was poor, many matchmakers came and brought many girls, but almost all of them were rejected by the girls' families. A few were rejected by the matchmakers themselves after they came to see the girls. You can imagine how terrible their poverty was. Wang Yue is one year younger than my cousin. A 28-year-old single woman is almost unimaginable in the countryside. People usually have some kind of problem that prevents them from finding a husband at that age. But my wife, Wang Yue, doesn't have any problems. I don't know why. When I asked my cousin, he casually said that he had never asked and never thought of asking.

I met Xiaoyue Sao (a nanny) once when I went home to visit relatives in the summer of 2005. She was quite good-looking, probably above average. She was about 1.6 meters tall, with slightly small eyes, double eyelids, and the kind of willow-leaf eyebrows that rural women often have. Her skin was very delicate and fair. She had a well-proportioned and full figure, especially her legs, which were straight and rounded, with no gap between her thighs. This is my favorite type of female leg. She liked to wear round-neck, low-cut t-shirts. No matter how tired or busy she was from farm work, she always went out in a clean t-shirt. Perhaps because of the farm work, her arms were a little tanned from the sun, but the large expanse of white skin showing through her round-neck t-shirt around her neck would make any man take a second look.

Two older singles got married, and you can imagine how sweet their married life was. Their longing for a better life bound them together. They worked from sunrise to sunset, a lifestyle that has been maintained in rural areas for thousands of years. Of course, their married life was also very fulfilling. My cousin said that he and the nanny went to bed almost twice a day. Sometimes, even when the nanny was on her period, he couldn't help but go to bed with her. They went to places like the village pond, the cornfield, and the dilapidated cave dwelling. When I heard my cousin talking about it, I was amazed at how strong people who do a lot of physical labor are. Two or three times a day, regardless of time or place. My cousin, still chuckling from his drunken state, recalled a time when he was working in the fields, bending over and seeing the young nanny's enormous breasts. He couldn't resist and pulled her to a tree by the edge of the field, where no one could see them, and they did it... To be honest, I got an erection on the spot when I heard this... Haha... Time flies, and a year passed in the blink of an eye. The young nanny, despite countless unprotected sexual encounters, still couldn't get pregnant. The two of them knew that there might be a problem with one of them. This is what rural people value most. Unlike young people in the city today, not having children doesn't mean they're not capable, and the neighbors won't gossip. In the countryside, it's different. If a woman's belly doesn't swell six months after marriage, the villagers will start talking. Even a small matter becomes the talk of the village in minutes. Especially in the countryside, the blame is first placed on the woman, like saying a hen won't lay eggs. Her cousin's feelings towards the postpartum nanny changed after noticing the strange looks from others. He often treated her coldly, and after work, he would go out to play cards and drink after dinner, then go straight to sleep when he got home. One can imagine the immense humiliation the nanny endured. After trying countless folk remedies and prescriptions without success, a doctor from the next village suggested it might be a problem with the man. The nanny told her cousin about this when she got home, but he didn't believe her and even mocked her for shirking responsibility. However, he couldn't resist her repeated requests, and on the doctor's advice, they went to Baoji City for tests. The results came back: the man had a low sperm count, making pregnancy extremely difficult. Her cousin was stunned and couldn't help but say the words he usually found hardest to utter: "Doctor, we both have this two or three times a day, and each time a large amount leaks out!" The doctor said it wasn't related to the amount of fluid leaking out, but rather to the sperm count and viability... He added that this kind of drug treatment wouldn't be very effective, and they could only try it for now.

That very night, back home, the young nanny, to comfort her depressed cousin, held him and made love passionately. Her cousin said that in all his years, that was the most pleasurable time he'd ever experienced; the nanny's affection and tenderness were fully displayed that night… But what about the next day? What about after that? How could he have a child of his own?

Realizing the problem, her husband and cousin sought medical help everywhere, but to no avail. His parents were also deeply worried about her, but what could they do?

It was January 2003, her cousin's first wedding anniversary. In the countryside, wedding anniversaries weren't celebrated, and life continued as usual, uneventfully. Those few days, her cousin began to grow anxious. He had thought of a way to get the nanny pregnant, completely silencing the gossip in the village, but he didn't know how to express it, let alone put it into practice. In the north, January is still winter. After dinner, the four family members (my cousin had three siblings, but they were all married and lived separately) huddled around a large brazier for warmth. The red glow of the flames illuminated my cousin's face, making his expression increasingly strange. Everything seemed to happen so suddenly. In the silence of the family, my cousin uttered a sentence that would change the fate of the entire family: "Dad, I've thought about it. Why don't you take care of Yue'er's baby?" Years later, my cousin still remembered these words so clearly, and he had said them through gritted teeth. What would he face after saying them? Scolding? Incest?

The entire room fell silent instantly, with only the north wind continuing to howl outside and the firewood crackling in the brazier… My cousin hadn't told anyone about this idea, and for the next few days, it made him feel both calm and anxious. Perhaps everyone experiences this kind of emotion when faced with an indecisive situation.

The nanny and my mother began to sob, while my father stared at my cousin's pale face in horror: "What did you say? Are you crazy? What nonsense are you talking about?!" "What did you say? What did you say?..." My cousin let his father point at him and curse without saying a word, pushed open the door and went back to his room. The nanny followed him out.

Nothing happened that night.

The next day, nothing happened either.

Life went on like this, and before they could even count the days, it was almost February. The poplars were about to sprout, the willow catkins would be like snow, and spring would be in full bloom. My cousin said that actually, that night, the nanny had already agreed to his method, but she didn't dare mention it in front of his parents. It was a February night. The family had eaten dinner and, as usual, sat around the brazier to warm themselves. Around eight o'clock, when my cousin and the nanny got up to go back to their room, their mother spoke: "**, you should stay out tonight. Let Xiaoyue stay at home..." My cousin and the nanny were stunned. The moment they had been anticipating yet fearing had arrived without any warning. Although they had imagined what this moment would be like, they were still stunned.

My cousin grunted and left, while the nanny walked listlessly back into the house. Once outside, he wandered alone through the village, his heart a jumble of emotions, a mix of feelings. He didn't want to stay with any of the neighbors; he couldn't bear the torment. What feelings? Expectation, heartbreak, jealousy, anger. The thought of his father on top of his wife made his heart pound and his head spin. He even imagined his father as a rapist and wanted to kill him. Controlled by these complex emotions, he forgot everything, wandering the village purely by instinct. But somehow, he found himself back at his doorstep. Perhaps out of his mind, he suddenly wanted to see how his father treated the nanny. He climbed over the back wall of the yard and quietly slipped towards his back window. The winter night was pitch black, the same darkness and silence inside and outside. He wondered—Dad hadn't come into our room?

He remained hidden there until around 11 PM when a dark figure emerged from his parents' room next door. It was his cousin's father, who, like the nanny, walked with hesitant steps towards his cousin's door and went inside. The bedside lamp was on; it was the one installed when his cousin got married, a warm orange-red light. His cousin and the nanny always used this lamp during their intimate moments, creating a special atmosphere. His cousin knew that the one who turned on the light was the nanny. The curtains weren't drawn, and in the lamplight, his cousin saw the nanny huddled under the covers, only her head peeking out. On the chair next to her were her clothes, pants, underwear, and a pink pair of panties… His cousin said that when he saw these things, his head went blank, and he felt himself freeze. The thing he feared most yet was also somewhat looking forward to was about to happen.

He couldn't hear anything through the window. My cousin's father said something, and the nanny shook her head. It seemed he wanted the light turned off, but she wouldn't. After shaking her head, she turned her back to him. He stood there motionless, probably for about two minutes. Then she turned back to him, crying, and said a few words, but he still didn't move. My cousin, outside the window, was nearly going crazy. He cried as he recounted this, saying he regretted his decision. He wanted to give up the child and immediately kick his father out, but he just cried. Suddenly, he sobered up a bit. What else could he do?

At this moment, the young nanny suddenly pulled back the blanket, revealing her entire body to her father-in-law. He quickly turned away, then rushed back to the bedside without looking back to cover her with the blanket again. She pulled it back again, and he covered her again. As he was about to leave the bedside after covering her the second time, she got up and hugged him. He started crying, pounding his chest with his hands. She hugged him even tighter, pressing her head against his shoulder from behind. After crying for a while, he probably suddenly remembered she was still naked, so he turned back to cover her with the blanket. The young nanny yanked the blanket into the bed and pulled my cousin's father onto it. My cousin's father, with nowhere to retreat, sat down heavily on the bed. The young nanny then wrapped her arms around his chest and pressed him down, while she moved from behind the blanket to the front, suddenly lying on top of him, completely naked. Under the orange light, her skin looked incredibly delicate. Her pink buttocks faced my cousin through the window, and she rubbed her genitals against his genitals, just as she usually did with his penis (I forgot to mention, my cousin's father was in his early fifties; in rural areas, marriage is common, and he married at 15). Caught off guard, my cousin's father tried to sit up quickly, but couldn't. With a person weighing over 100 pounds on top of him, who could get up so easily? The young nanny spread her legs and clamped them between his legs; he couldn't push her off.

Suddenly, my cousin saw something he least wanted to see: his father tightly embraced the nanny with both hands, then his rough hands reached for her plump buttocks, roughly kneading them... Before a minute had passed, the nanny rolled over, and my cousin's father sat up, startled for a moment, then began to undress quickly (my cousin said they were probably too nervous and forgot to close the curtains, but from my observation, people in the countryside don't care about such trivial matters, unlike in the city nowadays, where you can easily be secretly photographed). My cousin saw his father's penis outside the window; it was already hard to the extreme, even bigger than his own. The nanny had already pulled the blanket over and lay on the bed, her eyes fixed on my cousin's father.

My cousin's father took off his clothes, turned around, and got into bed. The nanny immediately covered herself with the blanket, her arms instinctively wrapping around his neck. He then climbed onto her full, smooth body under the covers. The two of them stirred around for a while, and finally, through the glass, my cousin vaguely heard her let out a soft "Ah!" His own father was inside his wife... Inside the room, the two of them kept moving up and down under the covers. Outside the window, my cousin's heart clenched. Watching his wife make love with his own father, and seeing how engrossed she seemed, he felt a mix of emotions.

After two or three minutes of their lovemaking, the nanny, perhaps annoyed by the blanket, threw it off, revealing her father's thin but firm, angular buttocks, her soft breasts, and her spread thighs. Her legs were half-raised in the air, and her father was moving up and down on her... Suddenly, his muffled movements quickened, then slowed, with a few gentle thrusts... The next day, the family remained silent. My cousin said that after his father finished, he went back to his room, but instead of going inside, he climbed over the wall and went out again, spending the night squatting in a dilapidated cave dwelling in the village without sleeping.

Two more months passed. My cousin pampered the nanny, but her body showed no change. My mother said it was probably unsuccessful. At my mother's arrangement, they chose a night, and the same thing happened again.

My cousin, as usual, sneaked back to the window. Perhaps because my cousin and the nanny didn't usually draw the curtains when they made love, this time the curtains were casually drawn at one end. My cousin saw that his father was just as nervous as last time. Under the guidance of the nanny, they had intercourse again. This time they changed positions, doing rear-entry. The first time that night, his father only lasted five minutes before ejaculating. So, at the nanny's request, his father stayed and did it again after he recovered his strength.

While his father was recovering, my cousin squatted outside the window and watched calmly. He saw the nanny pressing her upper body tightly against his father's chest, just like she usually did. Because of the blanket, he couldn't see his father's movements inside the blanket, but the blanket was moving slightly. My cousin said he guessed that his father's hand was touching the nanny inside the blanket. He, watching from outside the window, also started to get excited. His penis was hard and throbbing against his pants, feeling more swollen than ever before. He said he felt excited but also guilty, and he couldn't explain it. He felt incredibly excited just thinking about sharing a woman with his father. It was unbelievable that this was happening to him.

After a long, nearly hour-long recovery process, the young nanny, aroused by her cousin's hand touching her under the covers, was overcome with desire and, disregarding her shyness, repeatedly tried to climb on top of him. Perhaps because he wasn't fully erect, she repeatedly sat up and then sat down again. After nearly an hour, her cousin signaled that it was time. The nanny then sat on top of him, guiding his semi-erect penis into her vagina. She then draped the blanket over her shoulders and began to move up and down. Her cousin's movements remained wooden, his hands tightly holding her buttocks. Several times, the nanny pulled her cousin's hands to her full, firm breasts, but he removed them each time. The last time, however, he held her breasts tightly, squeezing them together and kneading them vigorously, just as her cousin usually did. This continued for about four minutes. Then the nanny got up and lay flat on the bed. The cousin's father naturally rolled over, grabbed his penis (which was even larger than his own), and thrust it in. He then grabbed the nanny's breasts. The nanny wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, letting him thrust in and out... Seven or eight minutes passed, and the cousin's father still hadn't ejaculated. The nanny sat up, lay face down on the bed, her buttocks raised high. The cousin's father was clearly not used to this position. She reached behind her and pulled him closer, then reached her left hip between her legs, pressing his penis into her vagina. He thrust in again. The nanny's breasts swayed violently with each thrust. The nanny had very large buttocks; I especially like women like that, especially being fucked in this position—it's incredibly ecstatic. I like fucking women I've slept with in this position, but the prerequisite is that the buttocks must be large; the sensory stimulation is very comfortable. When my cousin told me this, I listened while fantasizing, my penis already rock hard. Perhaps the position the nanny was in was incredibly stimulating for any man, because my cousin's father, stimulated by this position, increased his thrusting speed and ejaculated after four or five minutes. After ejaculating, he stroked the nanny's buttocks and breasts with both hands for a while. The nanny lay panting on the bed with toilet paper between her legs, letting her father-in-law touch her like that. Two minutes later, seemingly still unsatisfied, my cousin's father sat up, put on his clothes, and left the house. My cousin climbed over the wall and went out, returning home a dozen minutes later. He said he hadn't thought of anything else at the time; he was eager to come back and have sex with the nanny, unable to bear the scene from a few minutes earlier. That night, both the nanny and her cousin were much more relaxed about the matter. The cousin touched the nanny's sticky vulva and asked her if it felt good. The nanny punched him once but didn't say anything. The cousin then turned the nanny over, quickly took off his clothes, and inserted himself into her vagina without any foreplay. The nanny said that she hadn't wiped away what her father had ejaculated inside her. The cousin didn't answer and started thrusting hard, thinking about the scenes from earlier as he thrust. That night, the cousin ejaculated twice.

More than a month passed, and the nanny still showed no signs of pregnancy. A pregnancy test revealed she wasn't pregnant. My cousin's family panicked and took her to the hospital for a checkup. The results came back normal. So, my cousin's mother arranged the same thing again. My cousin, as before, peeked through the window. The difference was that it was hot, and one of the screen windows was open, so they could clearly hear what was happening inside. My cousin's father and the nanny barely spoke during the whole process, except for the nanny's moans during intercourse and my cousin's father's suppressed and heavy breathing. Just like before, after my father left, my cousin went back inside and hugged the nanny's large buttocks for another round... It was then that the nanny got pregnant. The whole family was overjoyed. They made an exception and, in the backward rural area, the four of them secretly closed the door to celebrate. My cousin's father went from being very awkward at first to being drunk and hazy by the end. The nanny once mentioned to my cousin in casual conversation that she enjoyed the feeling of being pinned down by her father-in-law. My cousin didn't take it seriously, just laughing and calling her a crazy woman. Unexpectedly, on the day of the baby's one-month celebration, the banquet lasted the entire afternoon. My cousin's father got drunk and gently knocked on my cousin's door that night, saying he wanted to come in and sit for a while. My cousin, unsuspecting, opened the door. His father sat silently in a chair, his eyes constantly glancing at the nanny and the baby in her arms… With the baby, expenses increased, and farming couldn't support the family. In desperation, my cousin went to work odd jobs in the nearby county town with a man from the neighboring village. He could go home once every two weeks, but he couldn't afford the travel expenses, sometimes only going home once a month. There was no phone at home, and he didn't have a cell phone. Every time he wanted to go home, he would call a neighbor beforehand to let them know. But one time, because he decided to go home at the last minute and caught the last minibus, he didn't have time to call and arrived home the next day… It was completely dark. As I passed by the village pond, I saw someone vaguely visible under an old willow tree. I didn't pay much attention and walked past. When I got home, I called for my nanny, but she wasn't there. My mother said my father had gone visiting neighbors in the village. My cousin put his things down and sat for a while before eating. Suddenly, a thought struck him. He quickly ran out and crept to the bushes just two steps away from the old willow tree by the pond. He clearly saw a faint, fair body, and another thin but muscular person. My cousin's father had my nanny pressed against the tree trunk, face to face. My nanny's back was pressed tightly against the trunk, and my cousin's father was half-holding her buttocks and thrusting into her with suppressed force... My cousin said that later he came to terms with it. After all, she was his wife and his own father. Let them be. If he couldn't accept it, how could he go to work in the city? If he stayed home every day with my nanny, where would he get the money to support the child? He muttered to himself that this matter couldn't be mentioned again. He couldn't let Yue'er and her father know that he knew about it. The child was eight years old now and looked quite like him. He had no other requests. If the nanny wanted another child, he could only ask his mother to arrange it while his father was still able to work.

Three nights ago, I experienced the biggest shock of my life. I never imagined that some stories circulating online would happen to someone close to me, and the protagonist of the story was sleeping in the bedroom just a door away from mine. Under the influence of alcohol, my cousin was incoherent, slumped in a chair, half asleep. I was about to leave, and I pushed open the wooden door to the nanny's bedroom while still drunk. The nanny wasn't asleep; she was sitting there in a daze, the orange bedside lamp that had appeared several times in the "story" on. I knew she should have been asleep by now. I knew my cousin already knew about what happened between her and his father, and because the wooden door wasn't soundproof, she must have heard him telling me. The nanny just calmly watched me push open the door, calmly watching me. I, emboldened by the alcohol, recklessly scrutinized this woman I called "sister-in-law," who had done such a thing against societal norms. Looking at her full, rounded body under the thin blanket, I quietly walked to the bedside, squatted down to her level, and said, "Nanny, don't tell anyone you know tomorrow. Let my brother feel better. I won't tell anyone either." She nodded blankly. At that moment, I really wanted to hug her tightly. This gentle and virtuous rural woman, through the twists and turns of fate, had been cruelly tormented by destiny.

I turned around, a sigh coming from behind me.

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