She was raped four times by her best friend.

The Prelude to Being Raped Four Times by My Best Friend

We once gave each other a lot of happiness and joy.
But when our love was about to leave us,
no matter how much we longed for it or how unwilling
we were, all we could do
was helplessly watch it drift further and further away.

I. We Fell in Love

That incident remains an indelible shadow in the hearts of my friend and me.
It was in the spring of 1997 when I started dating a female classmate. Her name was Yang Sasa, a very interesting name. She was a very simple girl, without any guile. I didn't like beating around the bush when pursuing girls; I directly told her I liked her, and she agreed. To be honest, I didn't love her; I was just curious about relationships and wanted to have some fun.

After dating for a while, I learned about her unusual background. Yang Sasa wasn't her parents' biological child; she was adopted. At home, her father treated her okay, but her mother often beat and scolded her; she didn't feel the warmth a family should have. She hoped I would treat her well and give her emotional comfort. I felt immense sympathy for her and showered her with affection.

And so, our relationship continued. Whenever we were apart for a few days and met again, SaSa would "fly" over like a happy little bird and jump into my arms. It was clear she loved me very much. Perhaps it was due to the passage of time, but I gradually became more involved, and I felt I had fallen deeply in love with her.

That summer, my parents went on a business trip, leaving me alone at home. That evening, I went to find SaSa as usual. She was staying in the school dormitory and told me how hot it was at night, how many mosquitoes there were, and how miserable it was. I jokingly told her that no one was home and she could stay at my place. She asked me to wait a moment, and soon she came out pushing her bicycle. I was very surprised; I hadn't expected her to be so "easygoing."

I took SaSa home. We took a shower and naturally slept in the same bed. I asked her if she was hot, and she said a little. I told her she could take off her clothes, and I would turn on the air conditioner for her. She took off her outer garment. I felt a surge of impulse and tentatively asked her to undress, but she refused. With little hope, I kept repeating, "Take it off, take it off..." Suddenly, without warning, SaSa sat up and said, "Okay, I'll take it off!" and then she really did. In the dim light, I saw her naked body—so beautiful! I smelled her unique, youthful fragrance—so sweet! I couldn't resist. I quickly stripped off my own clothes and climbed on top of her. Her body was so soft, like pudding. Her hair was black and shiny, strands falling across the bed. I touched her all over, but she didn't move. My hands became even more restless, reaching for her private parts. There, I felt a depression with some sticky, slippery liquid; I thought that must be what the books called the "vaginal canopy," so I placed my penis there. To my surprise, the moment I touched it, my semen gushed out like a tidal wave.

After our first real sexual encounter, she didn't bleed. I asked her, and she assured me it was her first time with me, so I didn't press the matter further and didn't really care. We made love from 11 pm the night before until 2 pm the next day. Experiencing sex for the first time in my life, I was completely captivated.

After that, SaSa and I often slept together, making love every day. We lived like a married couple. The sun was so bright then, and the sky was always so blue. We deeply felt our love for each other, immersed in unparalleled joy. But

this blissful period didn't last long. My parents were returning from their business trip, and our "married" life had to come to an end. We were truly reluctant to part. I knew SaSa was very attached to this period of life, and I told her that there would be other opportunities in the future. After we got married, we would live like this every day, never to be separated, and even be buried together after we died.

Just then, my good friend Niu Haitao moved, leaving an empty apartment. Since we were all classmates, he invited Yang SaSa and me to stay there, without charging us rent. I was very grateful to him for giving us such a wonderful opportunity and condition for "sexual pleasure." SaSa calls HaiTao "Big Brother," and when they're together, they're always happy and close, like family.

September 2nd was SaSa's birthday. HaiTao and I, along with other friends, went to a restaurant and prepared a lavish dinner to celebrate. SaSa also brought several of her girlfriends. At the table, everyone raised their glasses in celebration and asked SaSa to blow out the candles. SaSa was ready, and we turned off the lights. In the warm orange candlelight, SaSa placed her hands on her chest; she was praying. I knew what she was praying for without her saying a word. But after waiting for a long time, she still hadn't blown them out. Then, I saw two large tears roll down SaSa's tightly closed eyes, and we were all stunned. SaSa choked back tears and said that this was the first time in her life someone had celebrated her birthday. My heart ached as I grasped her hands and promised her that from now on, I would be with her for life, and I would celebrate her birthday every year. SaSa and I hugged tightly in front of our friends. I heard everyone's applause echoing around us. I held a firm belief in my heart: I would take care of SaSa for the rest of my life and never let her suffer even the slightest grievance again.

We made a wish together and blew out the candles. Everyone raised their glasses and continued drinking. SaSa and I gazed at each other affectionately; how much sadness and longing were buried in SaSa's innocent eyes!
While we were savoring the sweet and bittersweet moments of our life together, Niu Haitao was teasing SaSa's girlfriend. That's the only bad thing about Lao Niu—he's a womanizer, he doesn't let anyone get away with it, and he doesn't allow anyone to talk about him. But SaSa still had a good impression of him. And

so we began our true cohabitation.

II. A Happy Cohabitation Life

After that, SaSa and I often stayed together. Every day after school, we would go back to our "home" together. We ate together, studied together, and slept together, just like a real married couple. We didn't care about the strange looks from our neighbors; we took it all as a kind of happiness.

Once, SaSa caught a cold, and I said I would go buy her medicine, but it was raining heavily outside. She told me not to go, but I still resolutely rushed out. When I gave her the medicine I bought, she was deeply moved. She hugged me tightly, soaked to the bone, and murmured, "Why are you so good to me?" I said, "Because I love you. You are the most important part of my life!"

The neighbors were gossiping about us behind our backs, and I knew they disapproved. An old lady came to our "home" and said, "You two look like students. You're so young. Don't settle things too early. As time goes on, things can change, and no one can predict what will happen. This won't be good for either of you." We thanked her for her kindness, but we weren't swayed. We didn't listen to her words, nor did we consider them.

We didn't have air conditioning, so in the summer nights we slept naked. After making love, she would hold my still-erect "treasure" as she fell asleep. As the weather gradually cooled, after we survived the "bitter summer," we still slept naked together, embracing each other when we were cold. Later, winter came, and since we didn't have heating, we slept in the same bed, still naked and embracing tightly. It was cold at first, but every morning when I woke up, our bed was warm and cozy.

It was a winter morning, and the first thing I saw when I woke up was SaSa lying beside me, her small, white breasts exposed, the two nipples rising and falling with her breath, so alluring. The morning sunlight streamed through the window, casting a golden glow on the wall beside the bed. Looking at the girl still fast asleep, feeling the warmth of the sunlight, I felt incredibly happy.

Sasa woke up and looked at me affectionately. I said, "Get up, little sister, the sun's already high in the sky!" She hugged my neck, and we rolled around together again. After making love once more, we got up, washed our faces, brushed our teeth, kissed, hugged, and went to get breakfast together before heading to school. At home, we were husband and wife; at school, we were lovers. We were inseparable; most of our classmates and teachers didn't know we were living together, only a few close friends like Niu Haitao knew. Every day when we met, they would chuckle and chatter on and on. They asked me to share my sexual experiences, but I wouldn't go into details, just giving a few perfunctory answers.

We often went to the night market or a small restaurant to relax after a long day of studying before going "home," where we would read together, sleep together, wake up together, and go to school together, day after day. Our "little life" was sweet and romantic.

One evening, before we had dinner, we went for a walk. Before we knew it, we were far from "home." The winter night was chilly. We walked along a dimly lit street, the blue streetlights silently casting long shadows. A cold wind blew, occasionally scattering scraps of paper in front of us. I asked SaSa if she was cold, and she said that as long as I was there, her heart was always warm. I held her shoulders tightly, and she hugged me back. We continued walking, embracing each other, savoring the warmth in the cold night. Soon, we came across a small restaurant. I said to SaSa, "Let's get something to eat!" She smiled gently, and we strolled inside. We ordered two steaming dishes and ate, whispering sweet nothings. I drank a small bottle of Erguotou (a type of Chinese liquor), saying it would ward off the cold. SaSa never interfered with my smoking or drinking; all she gave me was warmth and understanding.

After dinner, we walked again under the blue streetlights. I said to her, "Let's not go back, okay?" "Then where should we go?" "Let's stay in a hotel for the night!"
SaSa followed me; wherever I went, she would follow me wholeheartedly. That night, SaSa and I stayed at a hotel and took a bath together, making our time even more romantic.
Niu Haitao would have dinner with us every few days, and we often drank and played drinking games together. Although SaSa and I were together, I felt a bit bored without Lao Niu. His presence as a "third wheel" added a lot of fun for SaSa and me. Several times, SaSa jokingly said that she really liked "Big Brother" and even wanted to hug him. Whenever SaSa said this, I would pull SaSa's arms from behind to hug Lao Niu, who would always pretend to be startled and dodge. We lived in such laughter every day.

Time flew by, and before we knew it, we graduated with good grades. This period of our lives didn't affect our studies too much. I was very satisfied with my college entrance exam score, and I estimated it to be very high. I was sure I would get into the university I wanted.

I was going to another city to familiarize myself with things, and SaSa and I would be separated for a while. Before I left, I asked Niu Haitao to look after SaSa for me. Sasa saw me off with reluctance, and I told her I would be back soon. And so, my dear Sasa and I said goodbye for the time being.

III. A Sudden Turn of Events

Sasa and I were separated for a month, and I missed her day and night. During that month, I wondered how she was doing, if she was sick, if she was going crazy missing me.
I finally returned, arriving at the station late at night. To surprise Sasa, I hadn't told her beforehand. Around one o'clock in the morning, I arrived "home." To avoid waking the neighbors, I knocked gently a few times, but there was no response. I knocked twice more, and then I heard Sasa's familiar voice, which I had been longing for: "Is that you

, brother?" Brother? What brother? Did she think I was Lao Niu? I said, "It's me." Sasa opened the door, hugged me tightly, and kissed me passionately. I held my SaSa tightly for a long, long time, and said, "I missed you so much, baby."

Once in bed, I eagerly inserted my penis into SaSa's vagina. It was so slippery, so warm inside—a feeling I hadn't felt in so long. After making love, we fell asleep in each other's arms again.
The next day, I went home. That evening, Niu Haitao treated me to a welcome-back dinner at a restaurant, and we drank heartily. SaSa wasn't with us; she was waiting for me at home alone. I was very grateful to Lao Niu for taking care of SaSa for the past two months, and I toasted him several times until he was flushed. I told him about my situation out of town, saying that I was just waiting for my college acceptance letter after returning. Lao Niu said, "How can you be so sure they'll accept you!" I laughed heartily. As we chatted, Niu Haitao suddenly said to me, "You shouldn't continue with Yang SaSa!"

I was stunned. "Why?"
"You two aren't suitable. I don't think she's good enough for you. Think about it, her family is different from yours. If you marry her in the future, will your parents agree?" "Continuing like this will only hurt both of you. Why don't you break up with her while you're still young?"

I said, "SaSa is a poor girl; you know how hard her life has been. I swore to take care of her for life, and I can't break my promise. Besides, my parents are open-minded. My marriage to her has nothing to do with her family; they won't interfere. And what about her family? Her parents aren't blood relatives, so what? What difference does it make? Besides, I love her; I can't live without her!"

Niu Haitao shook his head: "You're too naive. There are many things you don't know. Things aren't as simple as you think. I've said everything I need to say. I hope you'll think it over carefully. Whether you listen or not is up to you!"
Back home, I carefully considered what Niu Haitao had said. It was strange; Old Niu had never objected to my relationship with SaSa, and had never said anything like this before. Why such a drastic change in attitude? He must have been drunk and talking nonsense. Never mind him! I

continued to be with SaSa, and we no longer lived at Old Niu's house. She went back to her own home, and I went home too. Every night, we went out on dates. I started planning to tell my parents about SaSa and me after I went to university.

One night, I invited SaSa to the night market for barbecue. SaSa asked me, "If I did something really wrong to you, what would you do?" I said, "You wouldn't. Even if this were the old society, and I were a member of the underground party, I believe you wouldn't betray me." SaSa laughed, and we had a pleasant evening. That day, I was in an exceptionally good mood.

SaSa got into a university in Nanjing, but she said she didn't want to go. I said, "If your parents won't support your university education, I'll sponsor you!" "SaSa sobbed uncontrollably in my arms, and my heart ached terribly.

I couldn't hold it in anymore, and one day I wanted to stay at a hotel with SaSa for the night, and she agreed. At the hotel, she asked me again, 'What would you do if I did something really wrong to you?'
I was suspicious. Why did she always ask me this? Was it really...? The day before yesterday

, I had a falling out with my friend

. In the morning, I went home. When I got home, I collapsed onto the bed.
Why! Why did this happen! A wave of bitterness washed over me. I cried, but my parents didn't hear me. I hid in my room and cried a long, deep sob.
I vowed to settle the score with Niu Zasui! Even though SaSa wouldn't let me go to him!
That night, I found Niu Haitao. We found a small restaurant, ordered two bottles of Erguotou (a type of Chinese liquor), and started drinking.
Niu Haitao sensed something was wrong and asked me, 'Did Yang SaSa say something to you?'
'Niu Haitao! After we finish drinking, let's go outside, and if I don't beat you to death, I'm not a Chen!'"
"Fine! But first tell me what she told you!"
"I can't say it! Why are you asking others about the mess you made! If it weren't for our years of friendship, I would have put you in jail first, and then I would kill you when you get out! You rapist!"
"She said I raped her?"
"What do you think?"
"Fine, she said I raped her, I'll keep it to myself! Do whatever you want!"
Niu Haitao downed his drink in one gulp and ordered another. A little while later, he crawled under the table. I dragged him out and said, "Get up, don't pretend to be drunk!" Niu Haitao was like a lump of mud, foaming at the mouth. Seeing he was really incapacitated, I took a taxi home.

The next day, Sa Sa called me. I told her what happened yesterday, and she seemed a little angry: "Didn't I tell you not to go see him! At worst, we'll just cut ties with him!" I said, "No, I can't swallow this. I have to settle this with him!" "If you keep this up, I'm not talking to you anymore!" Sa Sa hung up. I've known her for so long, and she's never treated me like this before.

Sa Sa, don't you feel humiliated? Do you want me to just let it go?
I received my university acceptance letter, but I just can't be happy. My friend Gao Wenqing heard I also got into university and came to congratulate me. He's a childhood friend of mine; we talk about everything. That evening, we went out for drinks. First, I congratulated him on getting into art school, and he said I was amazing for scouting the area before even receiving my acceptance letter. Then we drank a few more glasses. He asked how my scouting of universities in other cities went, and I said I was pretty familiar with the area within a 20-kilometer radius. After a few rounds of drinks, I told him about my relationship problems. He said, "Don't be impulsive. Think about it carefully. If you were a girl, and your friend raped you once, and he came to see you again, would you open the door for him? Even if you did, and he raped you again, would you let that danger happen a third time? Let alone a fourth time! Are you stupid? Think about it carefully."

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She was raped four times by her best friend.

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