Sinking into the Sea of Desire: A Wife-Swapping Man's Heartfelt Confession - Chapter 394 His Past 2

On the way, I asked Sun Ya what she wanted to eat, and she shook her head blankly. When I mentioned KFC and hamburgers, she still looked completely lost, whether because she had never eaten them before or didn't like them.
With Sun Xueyong also around, I didn't want to take him to a place that only serves children's food, so we ended up choosing a small to medium-sized Chinese restaurant. When ordering, I specifically asked them to make the dishes milder.
Once inside the bustling restaurant, Sun Ya became a little reserved, clinging tightly to Sun Xueyong's hand. Therefore, I deliberately chose a quiet corner.
However, after the food was served, Sun Ya ate very happily, drinking more than half a bottle of cola. If Sun Xueyong hadn't stopped her out of concern for her health, she probably would have finished it all. I told her she could take the rest home, and she cheered up. The meal was enjoyable, and because Sun Ya was there, I didn't discuss work. Although Sun Xueyong sensed my ulterior motives, he didn't yet understand my true purpose.
On the way home, whether it was because she was too tired from playing with the children at school or because she was comfortable in the car after eating, Sun Ya quickly fell asleep in Sun Xueyong's arms.
I suddenly lost interest in talking about work. After seeing Sun Ya, I became even more interested in Sun Xueyong. Through conversation and casual inquiries, I learned that Sun Xueyong's wife had left after giving birth to Sun Ya due to family difficulties.
Even though I had a slight suspicion, it still surprised me. I thought they had divorced, but it turned out to be like this.
Whether it was because of the passage of time or the arrival of Sun Ya, everything seemed to have become clearer to Sun Xueyong, who spoke of those past events with remarkable calm. He even expressed gratitude to his wife for giving him Sun Ya.
The couple fell in love in college. Even then, Sun Ya's mother was already quite materialistic. Sun Xueyong spent all the money he earned during holidays on Sun Ya's mother. Perhaps he was too naive or too blind at the time, and Sun Xueyong didn't realize it. Plus, he hadn't yet entered society, hadn't seen much of the superficiality and restlessness of this dazzling world, so Sun Xueyong could still bear it all.
The two fell deeply in love and married soon after graduation. To many at the time, they were a match made in heaven; after all, it was rare for college romances to blossom into marriage. However, problems soon arose. After only a few months of work, whether from the hardship and pressure of the job, or from witnessing the glitz and glamour of the city, Sun Ya's mother refused to work anymore. Sun Xueyong agreed without a word, shouldering all the responsibilities at home. With no work to do, she had a lot of free time. When bored, Sun Ya's mother started going out shopping and having fun. Occasionally, she would go to nightclubs, staying out late and returning home drunk. Sun Xueyong said nothing, accepting everything with his love. This continued for six months until one day Sun Ya's mother returned home saying she was pregnant.
Sun Xueyong was overjoyed to hear this, but Sun Ya's mother wasn't as excited. In fact, she became somewhat sullen and even suggested having an abortion. Sun Xueyong firmly disagreed, opposing Sun Ya's mother for the first time since they started dating. Faced with Sun Xueyong's determination, Sun Ya's mother surprisingly didn't argue anymore.
The money he earned was never enough to live on, and now the financial situation was even more strained. To ensure Sun Ya's mother could get better nutrition, Sun Xueyong started working overtime, doing odd jobs, and handing out flyers on the street—he did any work that could earn him money. I can only imagine how hard Sun Xueyong worked during that time, but as he spoke, his face was filled with a happy smile. It was as if that was the happiest and most fulfilling time of his life.
By the time Sun Ya was about to be born, Sun Xueyong had lost 15 pounds, but he didn't feel tired at all; on the contrary, he felt very sweet inside. In his words, only with the birth of Sun Ya would it be a complete family, a real family.
Their earnings were barely enough to live on; they had no savings whatsoever. The hospital visit and delivery were prohibitive expenses for their family at the time. On the day they were admitted to the hospital, Sun Xueyong had to borrow money from relatives and friends. Despite his best efforts, Sun Ya suffered from poor nutrition, and she weighed only 2.8 pounds at birth. Looking at his tiny baby daughter, barely bigger than his palm, Sun Xueyong said he cried, feeling utterly helpless. Fortunately, after fifteen days in the hospital's incubator, Sun Ya bravely survived.
Because of lack of money, Sun Ya's mother moved home after only three days in the delivery room. Although Sun Xueyong wanted to take good care of them, reality doesn't change according to one's will or wishes.
Due to malnutrition, Sun Ya's mother had no breast milk, and Sun Ya had to be fed with formula. This added a heavy burden to the family. Sun Xueyong worked day and night, but initially couldn't earn enough to cover the family's expenses. He borrowed from all the friends he could. He said self-deprecatingly that he felt like a ghost during that period; his friends wouldn't answer his calls, and even his relatives avoided him.
He said he didn't blame anyone, since there was only so much others could do to help, but he blamed himself. Seeing his daughter, Sun Ya, growing increasingly thin, he was in great pain. To buy her milk powder, he sold everything of value in his house.
Strangely, during that time, Sun Ya's mother didn't say anything. She stayed home every day taking care of Sun Ya and waiting for him to come home from get off work, becoming much quieter than before. Then, three months later, she suddenly left behind a signed divorce agreement and never appeared again.
At this point, Sun Xueyong remained silent for a long time. I could sense that he was still thinking about Sun Ya's mother and was still bothered by her leaving without saying goodbye.
Thinking about Sun Xueyong having to care for a three-month-old baby while also trying to earn money to buy formula, I sighed a little. But he quickly smiled and told me that no matter how tired he was each day, seeing his granddaughter when he got home made it all worthwhile. The only people he felt indebted to were the relatives and friends who had lent him money. He laughed and said that although these years had been tough and his family was struggling financially, he was full of hope every day. He dreamed of earning money to pay off all those debts when his granddaughter grew up and could support herself.
Looking at this man, to be honest, I have very mixed feelings. I don't know whether to sympathize with his plight, be angry at Sun Ya's mother's heartlessness, envy his magnanimity, or question society. But even I am deeply involved, so what right do I have to blame others or question society?
I took Sun Xueyong back to his place, a small, detached house made of gray bricks, situated by the river. Seeing Sun Ya sleeping soundly in Sun Xueyong's arms, and thinking about how he and his daughter lived in that little house every day, I felt a pang of sadness.
Sun Xueyong didn't invite me to his room; he just got out of the car, said goodbye, and thanked me. I didn't mind at all; sometimes, a man needs a little self-respect. After saying goodbye, I drove home. On the way, I opened the window and let the cold wind blow on my face to calm my anxiety.
Only standing in front of my own door could I truly understand Sun Xueyong's feelings. As long as there's someone you love waiting for you at home, that's a warm home. It doesn't matter how big or small the home is, or how shabby it may be; if it's empty, even the largest house isn't a home. I composed myself and opened the door. My wife seemed to have been waiting there, happily rushing into my arms, and I embraced her. Perhaps I'm luckier than Sun Xueyong, because I have a wife who loves and cherishes me.
We hugged for a long time, unwilling to let go. My wife noticed something was wrong and asked me what was wrong. I smiled, kissed her forehead, and said, "I love you!"

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Sinking into the Sea of Desire: A Wife-Swapping Man's Heartfelt Confession - Chapter 394 His Past 2

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