My Online Dating

The more you suppress your feelings, the more they torment you. I didn't want to write about my experience,
but keeping it inside was too painful, and I wanted to speak out. However, I couldn't tell my friends, so I turned to the
internet, a place to find solace. I assure you this is my personal experience, from this year. Perhaps what I experienced
is something you've experienced, are about to experience, or want to experience.

The internet is truly a kaleidoscope, but you need to stay calm, don't act impulsively, and take responsibility for your actions
. There's no going back, otherwise you'll lose your way! The Cause : I'm a very ordinary person, just like you all,

as　　ordinary as can be. I first encountered the internet in 1995. Back then, very few people were online, and the content was limited. I mostly just browsed the news and sent emails. It wasn't until 1999, when I started my own company and traded stocks, that checking stocks became my main activity online . Going online became as natural as eating and sleeping; it was just for that little thing, until the beginning of this year. To be honest, I have no interest in online games or online dating. When others talk about these things , I find it laughable—it's child's play. Even when my friends mention it, I just laugh it off . I consider myself a calm person, and I received a traditional Chinese cultural education, so I would never consider such things. In short, I'm the kind of person with traditional values, someone who thinks with my head, but I also have my moments of passion... I've had four girlfriends before, each a beautiful and charming girl. I can still recall every moment I spent with them; those were truly memorable. My first girlfriend was my deskmate in the first year of junior high. We were in the same class for six years and the same school for eight years—eight years !　　 Even the War of Resistance Against Japan　　　　　　　　　　　　　only lasted eight years. Her full name was LF, but I called her Fei'er. She was a Gemini, a bit of a tomboy, and very lively. Her sister is absolutely feminine, absolutely, absolutely . Back in high school, I dreamed of sleeping with both of them—how wonderful that would be ! I think everyone here has been through this and will understand. Unfortunately, in the past eight years, the most I've ever done is touch her body, and only from behind. I've never touched her in the front, and we haven't even kissed. I regret it now. Her parents are high-ranking officials in a government agency. According to her, they insisted on introducing them to two boyfriends, both from government agencies. Damn, it hurts to think about it now. This is one of the reasons I started my company. People are materialistic and pragmatic; that's the truth. If I were a woman, I would feel the same way. On a side note, two of my classmates, one for seven years and the other for nine, were friends. Pretty impressive, right? But after graduation, one girl immediately found a rich guy , and the other, less than a month after going to the US, the girl dumped the guy. The tragedy of boys! My second girlfriend wasn't really a girlfriend, just a very good friend, and we still are. The one I remember most vividly was when she came to my house one afternoon. It was just the two of us, having a great time, when she suddenly said she was sleepy. Then she took off her shoes, sat on my bed, and while taking off her coat, said it was the first time she'd rested on a boy's bed. Then she covered herself with a blanket. Damn it! But I didn't know what was going on; I was still playing games and didn't react at all. That's how the whole afternoon went by. Only afterward did I realize how awful I was. What a damn bastard! A long time later, she started dating one of my friends. A very long time later, I talked to her about it, and she just laughed and said it was all in the past. Damn, I was such a jerk! She was so pretty, with fair skin, two dimples when she smiled, and short hair—a really charming girl. I regret it so much now. This taught me that if you don't eat the meat that's already in your mouth, someone else will. You can't let them have it. This incident had a huge impact on me.

After starting my company, I had more social engagements and frequented more brothels, but I always managed to stay within my boundaries.
However, after what happened above, I changed. I still remember the day I lost my virginity.

That day, after dinner, we went to a sauna, and as usual, I got a massage. But this time, a very experienced
woman came in, in her early twenties. She was very provocative from the start, constantly teasing my penis.

That day, I also experienced oral sex for the first time. She first rinsed my penis with water, then kissed my testicles, and
then kept kissing them. Damn, I had only seen this in books and DVDs before; it felt so good.

Later, I couldn't resist any longer. I made her lie down, and I kissed her breasts. They were small and firm,
and they felt so good to touch. It was my first time touching them. Then I lay down to look at her little breasts. Damn, I'd never seen
a woman's breasts before. That was a close-up look! They were so clear, a little dark, just like the ones often described in erotic novels
. I couldn't resist anymore and got on top of her.

Following the descriptions in the erotic novels I'd read, we moved around, and as we went, something felt off. Why wasn't it
that comfortable feeling? I stopped for a moment, looked around, and damn, she had a condom on. In a moment of lust, I secretly
took it off, and my little brother rushed in again. Damn, it felt different! It felt so good, flesh against flesh.

The girl wasn't making those fake moans anymore, and her pussy was wet; it wasn't dry at all like before
. It felt so good. This was my first time doing it real. Even though I'd seen a lot of things, I only ever used the same
old routines, nothing special. Real sex felt so good, much better than masturbation. I didn't last long before I
collapsed on top of her.

Afterwards, I lay there watching TV, my mind blank. It was over. My virginity was over.
Suddenly I remembered I hadn't used a condom. I felt a chill. Looks like you can't be impulsive. From now on, I'll always
use a condom when I go to prostitutes. I won't do it without one. I have to be responsible for myself.

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