Green robes, longing heart, father-daughter love

The sky was overcast, carrying a hint of chill. A light rain fell on the rooftops, creating a thin mist that made the view hazy and dreamlike, like a fairyland. Raindrops dripped from the eaves onto the bluestone pavement, splashing up crystal-clear droplets that were quite beautiful.
Zijing was born in this beautiful spring season. Time flies, and fourteen years have passed in the blink of an eye. The baby who used to cry in her swaddling clothes is now a graceful young woman.
Witnessing a little life born from your bloodline grow from birth to adulthood—there's nothing more fulfilling than that.
I flipped through the calendar and suddenly realized that today was Zijing's birthday. My heart skipped a beat. Oh no, I'd been so busy these past few days that I'd completely forgotten about it.
In previous years, Zijing, her good nanny and good mother, would handle all these things. However, today, her husband's mother took their youngest daughter, Zipei, back to her parents' home for a visit. In just a few days, things at home have become chaotic. The housework, both inside and outside the house, has given me a headache. Who can remember these trivial matters?
However, the collapse of a thousand-mile dike by an ant is often a small matter, but it can cause big trouble, especially when it gets involved with that little girl, Zijing.
"Xu Tianshu, I'm back!" The girl's voice was clear and melodious, like pearls falling onto a jade plate.
"You disrespectful brat, how many times have I told you not to call me Xu Tianshu, you have to call me Dad!" This is my exclusive right, and of course I'm going to fight for it. No one else in this world has that right, not in the past, not now, and not ever!
"Hmph, I don't want to! I want to call you Xu! Tian! Shu!" The little girl refused to compromise in the slightest.
"If you keep yelling like that, do you believe I'll hit you?"
"I don't believe it!"
"..." The traditional parenting model of a loving mother and a strict father is definitely not feasible in my family, and in such a situation, I am always the one who has to compromise in the end.
"Xu Tianshu, do you remember what day it is today?" Seeing my discomfiture, Xu Zijing, that little girl, revealed a smug smile. She looked even more excited than if she had gotten a perfect score on a test.
"I don't know." Hmph, serves you right for not calling me Daddy, serves you right for not calling me Daddy, I'll make you angry too, I'm going to sulk with this little girl.
Zijing's face darkened. Without saying a word, she walked into her room with a sullen expression and came out with the same expression, but this time she was carrying a notebook with a small lock.
She opened her notebook and read aloud: "January 15th, sunny. Today is payday for Xu Tianshu. He secretly hid a huge sum of five hundred yuan in the title page of *Grimm's Fairy Tales*, the purpose of which is unknown. February 1st, sunny. On the eve of the Lunar New Year, Xu Tianshu and a certain Uncle Zhang were discussing adult films starring actresses like Ai Iijima and An Nanba at the corner of the stairs. March 2nd, drizzling. That is, yesterday, Xu Tianshu had a twenty-minute phone call with a certain woman surnamed Ji. Alas, these secrets can't be kept secret forever. A certain woman surnamed Yang will know everything tomorrow, ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!"
Good heavens, if this brat exaggerates these accusations and badmouths me to that woman surnamed Yang, my good days will be over! I can't believe she actually compiled all these accusations into a book; I absolutely cannot afford to offend her. I quickly smiled apologetically, "Oh dear, I'm getting old, my memory isn't what it used to be, I'm so forgetful! Today isn't Princess Zijing's birthday? Come on, let Daddy take you out for a big meal, how about KFC?"
"Tch, you think you can bribe a staunch Communist Youth League member with a mere KFC? You underestimate the integrity of a revolutionary!" Zijing glanced at me, looking righteous and unyielding, as if I were some traitor trying to lure a revolutionary into depravity.
"This is the most steak we have left!"
"Three meals a day—my integrity is worth the price!"
"Wow, you're asking for an exorbitant amount! One meal is fine, but..."
"Two meals? My integrity is worth at least that much. Any less and I'll have to prepare to face the wrath of that woman surnamed Yang!"
"Okay, deal!" I said through gritted teeth, a pang of regret shooting through my throat. I'd successfully won over this staunch revolutionary with two steaks, but my wallet was about to suffer again.
The little girl was so happy to go out for dinner. She rushed into her room to change her clothes. This is Zijing's habit; she rarely wears her school uniform when she goes out with me unless absolutely necessary. Otherwise, she will definitely change her clothes. In her words, she uses my old leaf to set off her beautiful flower.
Although I've been watching Zijing for over a decade, the moment she stepped out of the room still caught my eye.
Wearing a white sweater with green stripes and light brown leggings, she looked just like a young and beautiful poplar tree.
With her short, jet-black hair, fair skin, and slightly rounded breasts, Zijing exuded youthful energy. Her bright, sparkling eyes seemed to speak volumes as she blinked, just like her mother.
The Hello Kitty hair clip in her hair adds a touch of youthful playfulness.
"Hey, Xu Tianshu, what are you standing there for? Are you trying to renege on your debt?" Zijing was delighted to see me looking dazed, and two sweet, shallow dimples appeared on her rosy cheeks.
"How could that be? Even a dozen horses couldn't catch up with what Dad promised you!"
"Xu Tianshu, you make it sound so easy, but aren't you just afraid I'll tell on you?"
"Feed her, Xu Zijin, give your dad some face!"
"Hehehe!" Zijing skipped and hopped next to me, linking her arms with mine. Her small chest pressed against my arm, making my heart flutter.
Hey, what am I thinking? This is your daughter! I scolded myself for being so despicable.
"Dad, let's go!"
Haha, that little girl Zijing called me Daddy! This meal was totally worth it. I laughed triumphantly, laughed triumphantly, and strode confidently across the streets…
The rain wasn't heavy, so Zijing and I only took one umbrella and walked for several tens of minutes before arriving at the city's most notorious slaughterhouse—Raindrop Coffee Shop.
Raindrop Cafe has an elegant ambiance and is my little girl's favorite place. Whenever she gets hold of something I've done wrong, we always end up here.
We found a seat by the window, and a pretty young waitress in uniform brought us the menu. The girl didn't stand on ceremony and ordered a whole bunch of her favorite dishes.
This little girl ordered so much, it broke my heart. Since I've already paid for it, I should exercise my rights as a father a little!
Did you thank your sister?
In a good mood, Zijing smiled sweetly at the pretty waitress and said, "Thank you, sister!"
I don't get many chances to direct Zijing, so I'll make the most of it: "Tell my sister, you're so beautiful."
Zijing's expression changed, and a sly smile appeared on her face. I thought to myself, "Oh no, this little girl is up to no good." Sure enough, the conversation that followed was beyond my control.
"Sister, my dad said you're really pretty, and he likes your type."
"Why don't you ask Daddy what he wants to eat?" The waitress was amused by Zijing's words.
"No need, he'd rather see a pretty girl than eat," Zijing replied in her usual tone.
"Australian steak, please," I said with an awkward smile.
After the pretty waitress left, I muttered to myself, "You brat, I didn't just say that!"
"Come on! Xu Tianshu, I know what you're thinking! Can you stop doing this? As soon as my mom's not around, you start doing this. Do you think you're so great?" Zijing sang in the tone of Uncle Zhao Benshan.
"If you say another word, I'll never take you out again!"
"Oh dear, you'd better not have brought me out here. I feel completely superfluous. Seriously, you should be grateful you found that woman surnamed Yang. They say a daughter is her father's lover from a past life, but I just don't understand, what did I do to deserve you in my past life?!"
Luckily, this spot was relatively secluded, and there weren't many people around, otherwise, where would I put my face? I wouldn't dare mess with that little hedgehog, Zijing. Once the food was served, Zijing started eating and drinking without any hesitation.
"Eat slowly, why are you eating so fast? Nobody's going to take it from you."
「我！喜！欢！」子衿瞥了我一眼，两个白嫩的小爪子一时也没停，不停的往小嘴里塞东西。
「都多大的孩子了，还这样，小心以后没人要了。」
「那我就赖着你呗，难不成你还能不要我啊！」
「你还能赖着爸爸一辈子啊，以后迟早还不得嫁人。」不知道为何，我想到这茬有种说不出的酸熘熘。
「不嫁，不嫁，不嫁，我一辈子不嫁！」不知道我的话触动了她哪根神经，脸色一变冲我嚷嚷。
「好好好，不嫁就不嫁吧，最多爸爸养你一辈子！」这句话我可是说的心甘情愿。
「这还差不多。」
一顿饭总算吃完了，回到了家，小丫头熘到浴室去洗澡了，我则坐在沙发上无聊的换着台。现在的电视剧都讲些情情爱爱的东西，动不动就是歇斯底里的我爱你，你爱我啊！要不然就是豪门千金穷小子，白马王子灰姑娘。拜金啊，堕落啊！
我气闷的关掉电视，拿起报纸看了起来，上面头版头条的新闻吸引了我「兽父慾求不满三年强奸六个女儿上百次」。这个世界上竟然还有如此禽兽，竟然打着满足女儿性需求，防止女儿在外面滥交为名，正大光明的强奸了六个小女孩，更可恨的是才被判决有期徒刑三年，人心不古，世风日下啊！
不知为何，我的心中忽然蹦出了子衿那娇柔柔的小身子。想些什么呢，我可不是禽兽，我赶紧打消了这种念头。
不过恶念一旦产生了就难以消除，彷彿魔障一般萦绕在脑海里，久久不能平静。我一阵没有来的心烦，点起了一支烟坐在沙发上吸了起来，看着裊裊升起的烟圈，我的心慢慢平静了下来。
这个时候，小子衿也洗好澡从浴室里面走了出来。她穿着粉红色印着米老鼠的小睡衣，拿着毛巾擦拭着自己湿漉漉的头发。皮肤嫩嫩白白的小嘴殷红，未施半点粉黛的小脸看上去很清纯很青春，看上去有点像奥运会开幕式上那个红衣小女孩林妙可，不过真要比较起来还是我家子衿要好一些。
「许天舒，你反了你，妈妈不在家就开始乱来了啊，竟敢公然的在客厅抽烟，看妈妈回来怎么治你！」子衿看到我在抽烟，很生气。
「别闹，别闹，今天纔接受贿赂的，你这丫头今天就睁一只眼闭一只眼吧！」
「切，对于阶级敌人的糖衣炮弹，当然是把糖衣吃掉，炮弹原封不动的送回咯。」
「你这个没良心的臭丫头。」
子衿不由分说，一把从我口中抢走香烟，往烟灰缸里掐灭。在抢夺的过程中，她小小的身子摩擦着我的身体，让我心神一阵颤动，一种前所未有的怪异想法忽然冒了出来，竟然鬼使神差的说道：「子衿，让爸爸亲亲好吗？」
子衿听到我说话，浑身一颤：「不给亲，许天舒你刚纔抽烟，嘴巴臭死了，休想碰我！」
「就是亲亲脸蛋啊，就像平时那样！」
「不给亲！」子衿断然拒绝了，小女孩的心思敏感，她大概也感觉到一丝丝异样的情绪在酝酿。
子衿用乌黑发亮彷彿会说话的眼睛盯着我看，面无表情，我看不出她的心思。
在家里，彷彿人人都能看懂我，但是我却看不懂她们这三个大大小小的女人。无论是孩子他妈杨梦珂亦或是大女儿子衿、小女儿子佩，我都看不懂。女人心果然是海底针，无论多大都一样。
对于女儿的拒绝，我心中有种淡淡的失望，不过却也有一种说不清道不明的解脱。这种心理很奇妙，就像想偷吃禁果的亚当和夏娃，最后禁果没吃成，依然在伊甸园里蹦跶，说不上好也说不上坏。
「哎，不给亲就不给亲呗，今天晚上的投资可真失败血本无归咯。」
「嘻嘻，许天舒你这个大笨蛋！我不给你亲，但是我可以亲你啊！」子衿的话让我一愣，一个软软的小嘴就贴在了我的嘴唇上。
「笨蛋爸爸，这是我的初吻。」
还没等我反应过来，小丫头就掉头跑掉了，满嘴余芳。
世界上最美莫过于情人的落红，女儿的初吻。那剎那的幸福宛如一现的昙花，还没看清，就匆匆的凋零，留下一道道惋惜和回忆。
等我回过神儿，子衿娇小的身子已经钻到她房间里去了，留下淡淡的温暖和芳香。那一剎的美丽彷彿打开了我心中某一扇紧锁的大门。
心中一股莫名的情绪开始萌芽了，慢慢孕育和滋长。
我看了看紧闭的房门，摸了摸留有余香的嘴，刚纔那又湿又软的触感足以让我铭记一辈子了。这个臭丫头，总是这样在生活之中感动我。
重新拿起报纸一个字也看不进去，说不清道不明的情绪萦绕心头，觉的今天晚上有些非同一般，好像要发生些什么似的。
就在我胡思乱想心神不宁的时候，房间里银铃般的笑声打破了我的思绪。
我敲了敲子衿的房门问道：「子衿，在笑什么呢？」
「没什么呢，和一个人聊天而已。」
「哦，爸爸能进来吗？」子衿这个小丫头领地意识极强，没经过她的同意就到她的房间去，绝对比2012来的可怕。用她的话来讲这是「捍卫主权维护领土完整」。
自从她读中学开始，我就鲜少出入她的房间了，俨然成了我的一个「禁地」。
「你进来吧！」
我推开门走进她的房间犹如进入了一个小小的童话世界，粉色的椅子，粉色的床，粉色的桌子，粉色的窗帘。房间干干净净整整齐齐的，小小的空间里充满了少女的芬芳。
小丫头正抱着她那个粉红色的笔记本盘坐在床上玩儿，脸上带着忍俊不止的笑容，浅浅的小酒窝说不出的可爱。
见到我进来，小丫头很高兴，招手让我过去：「嘿，许天舒快过来，这个人说话太有意思了，来看看。」
「什么东西那么好笑啊！」我好奇的走了过去，看到子衿正在和一个叫「非洲小白脸」的网友聊天。我眉头一皱心中犯嘀咕，这个网名咋看都不像是正经人。看完他们的聊天记录，差点没把我鼻子给气歪了。
「今天怎么这么迟才上啊！」
「今天晚上去吃饭呢，纔刚刚到家。」
「和谁一起去的啊！」
「和爸爸一起。」
「吃的开心吗？」
「还好吧，不过老爸老盯着一个服务生姐姐看，挺讨厌的。」
「哈哈，不过服务生再好看也娶不得啊！」
「为什么呢？」
「她们常说，欢迎下次光临啊，那得是多大一顶绿油油的帽子啊！」
「讨厌，你这个色狼！」
「男人不色，女人不爱嘛，嘿嘿！」
「你都有道理，那我问你啊，空姐能娶吗？」
「空姐？空姐也娶不得啊！」
「为什么啊？」
「她们总是在『上面』工作啊，吃不消啊！」
「哈哈！」
「嘻嘻，许天舒，怎么样，这个好玩吧？」小丫头一脸笑嘻嘻的问道。
「你……你……你，你这个臭丫头才多大呢？不好好学习尽看这些没用的东西。」我黑着脸对小丫头说道。
「嗨，看这个怎么了嘛。有没什么大不了的！」小丫头一脸不以为然的说道。
「这是你这臭丫头应该讨论的东西吗？」
「唔，不就是男男女女的那些破事嘛，有啥大不了的。学校生理课本上不都有嘛，还有图有真相哩！」
「我不管反正小孩子就是不能这样！」
「许天舒，那你倒是说个能说服我的理由啊，你要是能说个子丑寅卯来，我就听你的！」小丫头跟我拧上了，把电脑往旁边一搁，叉着腰看着我。
「你……我是你爸爸，我说不许就不许。」这个臭丫头，跟她斗嘴可不行，我说一个理由她肯定能想出十个百个理由来反驳我，我万万不是对手，衹能表示强硬的态度。
「哟，许天舒，你还来横的啊！你不是说天大地大理最大嘛，你倒是还先不讲理了呢！都说唯女子小人难养也，看来您也不差呢！」
「我是你爸爸，我说不行就不行。」管你说的天花乱坠，我自巍然不动。
「唔，青春期碰撞更年期，无法沟通了。」小丫头拍了拍自己的脑门说道。
「……」
我黑着脸不说话，开始的时候子衿还饶有兴致的看着我，一副你能拿我怎么样的表情。
五分钟、十分钟、十五分钟，见我这么久还没说话，小丫头开始有些忍不住了。
「许天舒，怎么了，生气了？」小丫头爬到我身边，从下往上抬起头眨巴着水灵灵的大眼睛看着我。她趴在床上一副可怜兮兮小猫儿的模样，我差点就笑出来了。
不过现在不成，这是小丫头的奸计，是故意想逗我笑，我自然不会轻易上当，哼！
「餵餵，许天舒你说说话嘛，你不是这么小气吧？」小丫头推了推我，声音也开始嗲了起来。
哼哼，我心中一阵得意，这是小丫头快要妥协的表现。坚持就是胜利啊，这是黎明前最后的黑暗了。
「爸爸，爸爸，不要生气了嘛。子衿会乖乖听话的啦！」小丫头拉着我的手，亲昵的说道。哈哈，开始讨好我了，好的开始是成功的一半。
小丫头这一次可是我赢了，我得意的想。
「不许再看这些不健康的笑话。」
「好！」
「要听爸爸的话。」
「好！」
「不准再和这个『非洲小白脸』聊天。」这个教坏我乖女儿的坏蛋，当然是阶级敌人，属于不可调和的那一部分人，要坚决的消灭。
「好吧！」子衿有些不情愿的说道，显然我的话让她觉得已经关系「人权问题」了。
「删掉他的qq！」我开始得寸进尺起来。
「餵，爸爸你过分了点哦！」
「哼！」
「好吧，我删！这样总可以了吧！」子衿嘟着嘴很不情愿的把「非洲小白脸」拖进黑名单，点击删除。小白脸消失了，世界清静了。
我老怀大慰，在这场战争中取得了全面的胜利。
我从来没有骂过子衿，就连说重一点的话儿我都捨不得，她就是我的心中瑰宝，是比我生命还重要的宝贝。
所以每次我生气了，不捨得打不捨得骂怎么办？也衹能用这种法子逼子衿就范，屡试不爽。
「嗯，这还差不多。咦，你怎么换网名了？还是什么『阳光小美女』。」刚纔我被那不良笑话给气到了还没注意，现在才发现她的网名换掉了。
以前子衿的网名叫「青青子衿」，而我的网名叫「悠悠我心」，刚好成对的。
记得五年前子衿九岁生日那天申请qq，这个小丫头奶声奶气的跟我说，以后我们两个都用这个网名，谁都不许改，还拉钩上吊说一百年不许变的。
没想到才过了短短五年，这个立场不坚定的小丫头就毫无信誉的把网名给换掉了，都不带通知一声的。真是没良心的臭丫头，我的心里酸酸的。
「哼，我就改了怎么了，你叫我不聊天就不聊天，你叫我删好友我就删好友，难不成我改网名也不行吗？」小丫头口气很沖的对我吼道，明显对刚纔我的做法很不满，这是赤裸裸的报復行为。
「这个，可以吧。」我没有反对的理由，大概跟我那什么承诺，这个小丫头早已经当笑话忘了一干二净了吧。大概对于子衿来说压根就不是什么承诺，衹是一句玩笑吧。
而且原来那个成天腻在身边的小丫头，已经慢慢长大了，以后要独立生活，到很远的地方读书，和男孩子谈恋爱，还要结婚生子……
她会渐渐的就会从我身边离开，不再属于我一个人。我的心中一阵失落，感觉一样很重要的东西慢慢的要从我身边消失了。
「哼，既然没问题了。那就请你出去吧。我！要！写！作！业！」小丫头臭着脸嘟着嘴叉着腰毫不客气的下了逐客令。
「对了，许天舒！」子衿忽然叫住了我。
「什么事，臭丫头。」
「那个，某杨姓女子是不是也总是在『上面』工作？」小丫头坏坏的笑道。
「……」
话说，孩子他妈是空姐，没错的。
华灯初上，天渐渐暗了下来，穿上了一件厚厚的缁衣。窗外的雨还淅淅沥沥的下着，有些阴冷。
我家浴室小比较暖和，倒是感觉不到冷。不过热水器的水都被小丫头用的差不多了，我也只好早早结束我的洗澡大计。
就在我弯腰擦身子的时候，放在桶里的一件白色的事物引起了我的注意，那是子衿换洗的内裤。
如果在平时，我最多也就是看一眼就过去了，但是不知为什么，我竟鬼使神差的想到了刚纔报纸上的那则新闻「兽父慾求不满三年强奸六个女儿上百次」。
我的脑袋「嗡」了一下内心一颤，彷彿着了魔一般伸出手，颤颤抖抖的把白色的小内裤拿了起来。
子衿的内裤是白色的，在裤沿中间还有一个带着白色斑点的蝴蝶结，薄薄的很别致很可爱。
随着子衿慢慢长大，她再也不仅仅是一个什么都没有的小女孩了，而是一个凹凸有致的豆蔻少女了。花季雨季，这是一个充满遐想的季节。
她的身子比较单薄，身材很窈窕，所以内裤也显得很别致。这条内裤就是穿在子衿那修长的大腿之上，包裹着那一片少女的禁忌……
我想到这里，内心没有来的一阵颤动还有一种从来没有的情绪。我竟然抑制不住的翻开内裤的另一面，包裹着少女最神秘的那一面。
我的手一直在颤抖，当我看到雪白的内裤底部那一丝淡淡的微黄，我竟然忍不住把内裤放在脸上深深的吸了一口气。没有想像中的难闻的气味，反而有一股少女身上独有的淡淡的幽香。
我竟然产生了丝丝的冲动，没错就是冲动，一种情慾的冲动。
衹是看一看摸一摸不要紧的，我在心里安慰自己，欺骗自己，努力的给自己这种荒唐的行为找一个开脱的藉口。
我的气越喘越粗，拿起内裤就往自己的下体凑去……
这时浴室外面突然想起类一阵敲门声。
「许天舒，快点开门！」
这宛如天籁把我从慾望中拉回了现实，我呆呆的看着手中雪白的内裤，长长舒了一口气。
乖子衿，好子衿，爸爸差点就白天教授，晚上禽兽了。
天堂和地狱是如此接近，仅仅衹有一步的距离，一扇小小的房门却隔开了两个世界。子衿银铃般的声音犹如刺骨的水从头浇下，透心的凉。
羞愧、自责、失落、无奈、懊悔，心里好似打翻了五味瓶，琐碎杂乱的思绪统统的涌了上来。我发现我对子衿的爱已经超出了一个父亲应该的范畴。父爱应该是无私的，纯粹的，不含有任何杂质的。但是我做不到了，也许我已经丧失做一个好爸爸的资格了。
「许！天！舒！快！点！开！门！」小丫头等的不耐烦。
「臭丫头，叫唤啥啊，在洗澡呢！」我努力使自己平静下来，让自己的声音听起来更镇定一些。
「许天舒，我内衣没拿出来呢，你拿给我，我去洗洗！」自小学六年级之后，个人意识极强的小丫头就不让别人碰她的贴身衣物了。要是她知道我在浴室里干这档子事，指不定要发多大的火，向某杨姓女子告状都是小的了，和我绝交都大有可能。
「在哪呢，爸爸我怎么没看到！」
「许天舒，你撒谎！」
「什么啊？」我心中咯噔一紧，这个丫头怎么知道的，她又没透视眼，肯定是在诈我。哼，我可不能上当。
「我的衣服搁在哪里，当然是在桶里。平时你都是直接拿给我的。」
「人老了，记性不好了呗。」我心中咯噔一下，这个小丫头实在太细致了，这一点小小的细节都看的出。
小丫头沉默了一会儿，忽然爆了一句石破天惊的话：「许天舒，你碰过我的内衣？」
这个臭丫头，都可以去当名侦探柯南了，这都知道。我赶紧把内裤仍到桶里，矢口否认道：「没有，真的没有！」
「许天舒，你撒谎！」
我心中那个闷的谎，心乱不已，我又哪里露出马脚了。企图用女儿内裤手婬，这个事儿传出去，我这一世英名就要毁于一旦了。坚决的否认！
「臭丫头，你胡说些什么呢！」
「许天舒，恼羞成怒了吧？你每次撒谎都喜欢说『真的』，这种水平也衹能骗骗那个爱的你死去活来就算你把她卖了她还帮你数钱的某杨姓女子，骗我还嫩了点呢。」小丫头洋洋得意的说道，这水平用名侦探柯南来形容已经不够档次了，这下连福尔摩斯都要甘拜下风了吧。
「我没有！」
「你有。」
「我没有！」
「你有。」
「我没有！」
「我确定你有了。」
「……」
我沉默了，准确的说是无言以对了，一个谎言要依靠无数个谎言来掩饰，结果依然是谎言，还是要被揭穿。依子衿的精明，我再怎么狡辩也是徒劳了。
子衿也出奇的安静，一句话也没有说，不过我却觉得这是暴风雨前最后的平静。她大概会怒发冲冠，然后狠狠的批斗我一顿，把这个事告诉某杨姓女子，最后绝交吧。
总结起来就是，我完蛋了！
「咯咯咯咯咯咯」子衿忽然在门外笑了起来，和我预料的情况相去甚大。还是这个笑声是传说中的怒极反笑？
「臭丫头，笑什么呢！」
「许天舒，你好可爱，笨的要命。」
「我又怎么了我。」
「不解释，就这样呗！刚纔我随便诳你一下，你还真信了啊！」
「臭丫头！」我心中一松，这个丫头真是吓死人不偿命，还好一切都是她的猜测，还好她什么也不知道，否则真完蛋了。
「好啦，爸爸把内衣拿给我吧，我要拿去洗啦！」
我打开一个门缝，把那条纯白色的小内裤和纯白色的小内衣递了出去。
「许天舒！」
「什么？」
「我的内衣还不错吧？」
「……」
无论如何，风波总算平息了。小丫头和往常一样乖乖的做作业，我也和往常一样看看新闻看看书。
一切照旧，刚纔的事儿就如同生活中其他的琐事一样，我们谁也没有再提。不过我却知道我对子衿心中多了一种别样的感情，已经回不去了。
以后不能和子衿那么亲密了，真发生了些什么就害了子衿一生了。一想到今后要和子衿保持距离，我的心如刀割，悲痛的不能自己。
入夜了，一片漆黑，我却在床上翻来覆去，怎么也睡不着。窗外，天空彷彿被人捅破了似地雨水从天上洩了下来，电闪雷鸣春雷阵阵。
我的门被推开了，一个娇小的身影扑了过来。
「爸爸，子衿害怕！」小丫头的声音里带着哭腔，小小的身子不停的颤抖。
这个天不怕，地不怕，见到老虎都敢拔尾巴的小丫头，却惟独害怕打雷，即使是在熟睡，衹要打雷了她就会被惊醒。没想到都上中学了，这个小丫头还是这样。
子衿胆怯怯的，和平时的神采飞扬大不相同，这时的她却更像一个十四岁的孩子。她可怜兮兮的模样儿，总会勾起我无穷的怜爱和保护欲。
我赶忙搂住她娇小的身子，她就穿着一件秋衣。透过薄薄秋衣，我清晰的感受到她的温度和滑腻。
「乖乖宝贝，不要害怕，爸爸会保护你的。天气太凉了，赶紧到被窝里来。」我抱起子衿就把她拽到床上来，盖好被子。
子衿依然在瑟瑟发抖：「爸爸，子衿好怕！」
「不要害怕，不要害怕，爸爸就在你的身边。」
我一边安慰一边伸出双手从子衿的腋下穿过捏着她两个可爱柔软的小耳珠。小时候，每次下雨打雷，用这法子都会使子衿平静下来。
果然效果显着，子衿的小身子有些僵硬的身子慢慢软了下来，唿吸也慢慢的平稳起来。
窗外依然雷雨交加，房间内却是一片安静，我和子衿就这样安安静静的抱着，衹能听见彼此的唿吸声。
「许天舒！」
「什么？」
「今天那姐姐怎么样？」
「什么姐姐？什么怎么样？」这个小丫头天马行空的问题，让我有些发懵，要跟上她的跳跃性思维真不是一件容易的事情。
「笨蛋，就是那个服务生姐姐啦！」
「嗨，你还想着这事儿呢！」
「快点回答啦，到底怎么样，好不好看？」
我有些哭笑不得，有点搞不清这个小丫头到底在想些什么了，不过经过刚纔的教训，我斟酌了一下还是实话实说：「挺好看的吧！」
「那和我比起来呢？」
「当然是我家子衿最好看了，西施也比不了。」在我心中没人能比得上我家子衿。
「嘻嘻，这还差不多。」子衿笑了，带着一丝旖旎。
「爸爸的回答还让我们子衿公主满意吧？」
「勉强及格吧！」
「这纔勉强及格啊，你也太苛刻了吧！」
「嘻嘻，是你太笨了嘛。」
「那可是要怎么样才能满分。」
「当然……当然要说，十个西施都比不了咯。」
「臭美吧你，给你点阳光，你这个臭丫头就瞎灿烂啊！」
「许天舒，你真讨厌！」小丫头的小手准确的找到我的腰掐了我一下。哎哟，真疼，跟她妈的动作一模一样的。
「哎哟，臭丫头，你的手可真毒，疼死了！」
「活该！」小丫头顿了顿又说道：「不过，许天舒，我有个秘密告诉你！」
「什么秘密？」
「关于qq！」
「qq，什么意思？」
「其实那个qq是我的小号啦，是用来加网友的。」
「感情你的网名没改啊！」我心中一喜。「那你刚纔怎么不说。」
「许天舒，是你自己太笨，qq号码不一样都看不出来。」
「……」刚纔一激动，谁会去注意那个啊！我心中无语。
「嗯，其实……那个约定我一直记得的。」子衿嘟嘟喃喃的说道。
我心中一阵狂喜，也不知道高兴些什么，说不清楚，反正就是特别高兴。我的好子衿，乖子衿果然还是我的贴身小棉袄。
「是吗？原来是这么回事啊，知道了！」我假装平静的说道。
「许天舒，刚纔是不是很失落，现在好了吧！」
「失落，什么失落，没有！」我矢口否认，这可不能表现出来，否则我的面子往哪搁。
「你还装，你刚纔就是失落了，你没看你那表情，那个酸哟！」小丫头咯咯的坏笑了起来。
「没有，绝对没有！」
「有，就是有！」
「没有，绝对没有！」
「我说有就是有！」
「好吧，那就有吧！」我找了个台阶下，不想在这个问题上纠缠了，因为刚纔我的确失落了。
「这还差不多。」
子衿把娇小的身子往我的怀里挪了一挪，后背紧紧的贴在了我的胸膛，我的身体和她的身体只隔着两件薄薄的秋衣，体温在我们之间传递。距离如此之近，我毫不费力的碰触到她妖娆娇小的身姿。
我的脑海里忽然出现错觉，躺在我身边的已经不是许子衿，而是我相懦以沫十多年的妻子。我的身体开始火热起来，思绪也开始纷乱了。
「小丫头，现在不打雷了，雨也小了，你可以回去啦！」我要把这个丫头赶走，否则还真可能发生些什么。
「我不要！人家帮你暖好被窝，你就要赶人家走，真不地道。」
「赶紧回房睡觉。」
「不去！」
「听话，要不爸爸要生气了。」我倒不是生气了，我是怕自己兽性大发了。
「爸爸，人家会害怕。」小丫头见我口气坚决，马上改变策略，开始博取我的同情。
「好……好吧！那你就睡这里吧，不过晚上可不能乱动。」小丫头的哀求我从来都拒绝不了，以前是，现在是，将来也会是！
「好！」子衿乖乖的娇娇的说道。
我的手也准备从小丫头的双腋下抽出，不过这个时候小丫头刚好挪了下身体，好死不死的，我的双手轻轻的抵在了她那两个娇小的胸部上。软软的触感，阵阵的体温，还有她头发上洗发水的清香，无一不在刺激我的感官。
手彷彿被麻痺似的，在也挪不开了。
子衿挺翘的小臀也正好抵在我的下体……
我知道这样下去迟早要出事，但是我却压根不想挪开。这就是我最亲最爱的子衿的身体，我的女儿，我的爱。
我和她都彷彿被施加了定身术一样，一动不动，好像两尊只会唿吸的石像。
不知什么时候，我的手已经完全压在了子衿小小的双乳上。
她好像睡着了，揉一揉没关系吧？
窗外小雨伴随清风悄然潜入漫漫长夜滋润着大地万物，我也在黑夜的包裹下慢慢的沉迷在这张小小的双人床上。偶尔划过夜空的闪电犹如一双双锐利的眼睛，撕裂云霄，透过窗帘审判着我。
时间彷彿凝固在这一刻，我的双手依然僵硬的抚在子衿小小的乳房上，隔着薄薄的秋衣，我能感觉到子衿的柔软和温暖。这触手可及的温香软玉，让我心乱如麻。
我心里彷彿藏着两把锋利的剑在相互戈阀，粉碎我的信仰、破灭我的道德、刺透我的灵魂、斩断我的情操。
我从来不知道原来双手可以这样沉重，彷彿压着泰山动弹不得。丫丫学语的子衿、娇嗔的子衿、莞尔的子衿、俏皮的子衿、机灵的子衿、顽皮的子衿、胆小的子衿、温柔的子衿、善良的子衿这十四年来的凌乱画面犹如决堤的潮水一股脑儿的涌上心头。
我读懂了我的情感，此时此刻我在也欺骗不了自己，我对子衿的爱已经跨越道德，超越亲情，已经碰触到那个不可踰越的禁忌。
世界上最远的距离莫过于咫尺天涯，子衿这个我最爱的女孩，我和她亲密无间，却相隔万里，在十几年后的某一天，她会披上漂亮的婚纱由我亲手把她交给另一个男人。想到这里我的泪水已经抑制不住的滚落下来。
纯粹的爱不是自私的佔有，而是抛弃灵魂的付出，不顾一切的奉献。这种爱已经超脱了一切的道德、束缚和慾望。
「子衿，我爱你！」此时我也分不清这是情爱还是父爱，只知道这就是爱。我低声唿唤子衿的名字，一边慢慢的把双手从子衿的腋下抽出。有时候放弃也是一种爱，为了子衿我要放弃心中那份杂念。
就在我的双手要抽出子衿腋下的那一刻，一个宛如平静而温柔的声音打破了黑夜的平静。
「许天舒！」
我身体一颤，眼睛一黑，子衿醒了，我龌龊的思想很可能就要暴露了，我可能再也不是她心中的好爸爸了，也许今后就要和禽兽画上等号了。不过我心中还抱着最后一丝幻想，这个小丫头刚刚醒来，什么也不知道。
「子衿，你怎么醒了。」
「我一直都是醒的！」
"..." All the words I had prepared were stuck in my throat, and I don't know how long it took before I finally managed to squeeze out, "Zijin, you...you knew?"
"Yes, including just now!"
"Just now?"
"I know everything you did in the bathroom, everything you were thinking of doing just now, and everything you said at the end." Zijing usually spoke with dramatic intonation and full of emotion. But at this moment, she was unusually calm, even somewhat aloof. I didn't know what she was thinking, or what she would do.
"Xu Tianshu, is there anything you'd like to say?"
"I'm...I'm sorry!" I knew I was finished; I could never shake off the label of being a beastly father.
"Anything else?"
"Zijin, it's all my fault, I'm willing to spend my whole life atoning for it. I'll listen to you, but... I just want you to forgive me just this once. I'll forgive you from now on..." I said as I quickly pulled my hand out from under Zijin's armpit.
"Xu Tianshu, if you dare take your hand away, I'll tell Mom you raped me!"
"Zijin..." I didn't know what this little girl was thinking, and I was a little embarrassed.
Zijing didn't say anything, but instead took my hands in her small hands and gently placed them on her petite chest, pressing my hands firmly against her two small breasts. Zijing's breasts were very soft and warm; even through her thermal underwear, I could feel how tender and smooth they were.
But at that moment, I had no heart to appreciate it at all.
"Is it comfortable?"
"..."
"Xu Tianshu, answer me, are you comfortable?"
"Zijin, don't be like this, it hurts so much." My heart is broken. Zijin is probably completely disappointed in me as her father and has started to give up on herself.
"Xu Tianshu, didn't you just say you'd spend your whole life atoning for your sins? Are you going to listen to me?"
"yes."
"Then answer me, is it comfortable?"
"That feels good!" I managed to utter those two words after holding them in for a long time, but once they came out, I felt an indescribable sense of relief. This is probably what they call "giving up entirely."
"Put your hand in!"
"Zijin..."
"Xu Tianshu, put your hand in."
I sighed, wondering what this little girl was up to, but I did as she said. My hand slipped under her thermal underwear. Zijing wasn't wearing a vest, nothing underneath, and I easily grasped her two soft breasts.
"Is it comfortable?"
"Comfortable!"
"Compared to your mother?"
"Zijin is better."
After I said those words, it felt as if a huge shackle had been broken from my heart. My hands, almost without restraint, began to gently caress Zijing's soft, fragrant breasts. Zijing didn't say anything; she just lay obediently in my arms, letting me touch her.
Another long silence followed. After a while, Zijing calmly said, "Xu Tianshu, everything changed after you touched me." Zijing's voice sounded somewhat ethereal and melodious in the darkness.
My heart gradually calmed down, and Zijing's warmth and softness dispelled my fear. I knew that Zijing's little head must be filled with other thoughts.
"What would happen if I touched it?"
"Then you can forget about touching me from now on. I'm telling Mom about this!"
"..."
"If you had touched me just now, we would only be father and daughter."
"So what now?"
"Now I know that there is someone in this world who loves me deeply, named Xu Tianshu." The little girl's tone softened.
My heart was deeply touched by the little girl's words.
"Zijin..."
"Xu Tianshu, listen to me!" The little girl turned her petite body around and covered my mouth with her hand.
"The earliest thing I can remember is Xu Tianshu gently holding my hand and smiling at me. I have always refused to call you Dad because I love you, Xu Tianshu! I don't want you to be my dad, I don't want to!" Zijing's love can melt even the hardest steel into tenderness.
"Zijin..." I was so excited that I didn't know what to say.
"Even though Xu Tianshu has countless flaws, in my heart he is the most perfect father and lover. I don't want you to leave any stain on your reputation. If you had touched me just now, I would have kept my love hidden in my heart forever and never let you know it."
"Zijin, are you afraid that if Daddy touches you, he will be morally condemned?" I was shocked. What a great sentiment was hidden in Zijin's little mind.
"Yes! This time, you were forced to touch Zijing; it was Zijing who forced you. If there really is to be punishment, then let it all fall on Zijing." Zijing nodded, her voice gentle yet exceptionally firm.
"Zijin..." My tears flowed uncontrollably again. Zijin's love made me feel so insignificant.
"Dad, don't cry, you don't look pretty when you cry!" Zijing said with a smile, "Jinjin is finally fourteen years old this year, and she can take responsibility for her actions. Dad, come on! Take Jinjin!"
"No, Daddy can't be so selfish, he can't do that!"
"Dad, I love you. Do you love me?"
"like!"
"You love me, I love you, that's enough. Daddy, kiss me!"
The little girl leaned her soft body against me, her small lips pressed tightly against mine. Her hot breath was irresistible, and I reciprocated with my tongue. Our mouths were indistinguishable, filled only with love.
My hands were no longer content with just exploring her breasts; they began to roam up and down. Zijing's petite body was exquisitely proportioned, her skin smoother and more delicate than silk. Her slender waist, smooth abdomen, flowing back, and soft breasts—every part of her was perfect, like a fairy who had descended to earth. She was my fairy, my fairy for life.
Zijing's body grew hotter and hotter, and her delicate breathing became heavy. She took my hands and guided them towards her lower body. Through the many barriers, my hands finally touched that forbidden area of the young girl.
I bypassed her small, white, tender buttocks, and my fingers landed on her delicate, shy expanse. Not a single hair was visible; everything I touched was wet, smooth, and supple.
"Daddy, it itches!"
"Touching it more will stop the itching."
I gently pried open the delicate petals with my fingers. It was tight and wet inside. I could only insert my index finger a little bit before I couldn't go any further. The little girl was so shy and couldn't contain herself that she punched my chest with her little fist.
"Dad, you're so mean!"
"That's right, Dad is a bad guy."
Zijing's petite body was simply too alluring; my lower body was already rock hard. Once she was soaking wet, I could no longer resist. I gently loosened her robes, removing the last barrier of her youth; the darkness gave us immense courage.
I gently placed Zijing on the bed, put a pillow under her delicate buttocks, and tenderly parted her long, smooth legs. My hard, iron-like lower body pressed against her tender vulva.
"Waaah, Jinjin is going to be bullied by bad guys."
"It's all because Jinjin is too cute, the bad guy couldn't resist."
"You rascal, be gentle! Jinjin is afraid of pain!"
"It won't hurt, it'll feel better in no time. Jinjin, be good and relax!"
"Okay!" Zijing nodded obediently.
"Xu Tianshu, you big liar, it hurts so much!"
"Ah!" It was I who cried out, because... the little girl sat up and bit my shoulder hard.
Plum blossoms reflected in the snow, fallen petals scattered like dots; the spring night is fleeting, a single moment worth a thousand pieces of gold.
No matter what the future holds, at this moment, we only have each other...
Green are your robes, blue are the colors of my heart. Though I do not go to you, will you not send me a message?

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Green robes, longing heart, father-daughter love

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