I took that virgin's first time.

Xinyue and her daughter lived in a small courtyard in a foreign land for two years. There, she met Hui, a man who, despite living in darkness herself, brought her boundless hope and light. "Was it out of helplessness in the face of reality?"—When she finally uttered those cruel words to "wake up" Hui, she also plunged herself and Hui into boundless darkness. Now, they begin to hope, hoping for another glimmer of light in their love and lives…

The man in the foreign courtyard .

I divorced my marriage in despair and moved to a city in Inner Mongolia with my six-year-old daughter to start a new life. My daughter and I rented a room there and opened a small hair salon; business was decent. The landlord's family was very kind. Our rented room had a back door leading to their yard, so my daughter often played there, and they often helped look after her.

Hui was the landlord's eldest son. The first time I met him, I didn't notice anything different about him, except that he always wore large sunglasses. Later, I learned that his eyesight was almost equivalent to that of a blind person. Yet, Hui was more capable than many sighted people. He often helped his neighbors repair radios and other small appliances, and always kept his room exceptionally tidy.

I lived there for six months, and we barely spoke a word to each other; he rarely spoke to anyone else either, so much so that I barely noticed him. One sweltering noon, a customer fell asleep after shaving, and when another customer came in, I had to wake him. That customer then started cursing at me, which made me feel incredibly wronged. Later, I closed the shop for two days and secretly cried for a long time.

That afternoon, someone knocked on the door. I asked who it was, and a strange voice answered. I cautiously pushed open the door and saw Hui standing there. As I hesitated slightly, Hui asked, "What's wrong? Aren't you welcome?" I quickly invited him in. We were silent for a moment before he spoke first. He asked if I liked to sing, and I said I could. Hui took a cassette tape out of his pocket and asked me to listen. When Tian Zhen's magnetic and slightly melancholic voice came through, I was extremely surprised: "How did you know I like Tian Zhen's songs?" "One day I passed by outside and heard you sing 'The Woman Afraid of the Dark.' You sang it so well, just like the original..."

I gave a wry smile, not even realizing why I was smiling, but he immediately asked me why my smile was so forced. I was taken aback and blurted out, "Can you see me?" He frowned slightly, sighed, and said, "If I could see people's expressions, even just for a moment, it would make my life worthwhile!" I quickly apologized for my rudeness, and to avoid making me too embarrassed, he immediately changed the subject. He said he especially liked Cui Jian's "Nothing to My Name" and Hua Yanjun's erhu music, which sounded so plaintive. Every time he heard me play erhu music, he would involuntarily stop in the yard for a long time, listening intently. And so, we chatted for the entire afternoon, from music to life…

I realized I hadn't been this happy in a long time. He kept smiling too, a smile I'd never seen on his face before. He pressed his wristwatch, stood up, and said, "It's already past 5 o'clock. I'm so sorry to have bothered you for so long." Then, very politely, he asked, "Are you very annoyed?" I said, "Please don't say that. You've made me forget a lot of my troubles!" I said sincerely. "Really? If that's true, I'm so happy!" He smiled, and that smile was truly joyful. For the first time, I noticed how radiant his smile was!

He left. Watching his retreating figure, thinking about every word he'd said, thinking about how this person who had lost his sight was more optimistic and thoughtful than me, trying his best to comfort me and infect me with joy—it was truly rare! I sincerely thought, he was incredibly strong!

Love is a blue sky.

From that day on, Hui came to sit for a while almost every day. He always brought a lot of joy to me and my daughter with his unique optimism and ease. But one day, I didn't see him all day, and I became restless and absent-minded, constantly glancing outside. Eventually, I couldn't bear it any longer and sent my daughter to his house to see him. A while later, my daughter returned, looking very unhappy. She told me, "Mom, Uncle Xiaohui isn't well. He's lying in bed and ignoring me. Grandma said he's disobedient, so she's giving him an injection..." I understood; he was sick. I went out and bought some fruit to see him. He was lying in bed, looking terrible, with blisters on his lips. I washed a towel and placed it on his forehead. He grabbed my hand with his burning hot fingers. I instinctively tried to pull away, but he held on tightly.

For a long while, neither of us spoke until the IV drip was finished. I removed the needle, gently patted his hand, told him not to worry, and to rest, then walked through the yard back to my little house. I repeatedly told him not to worry, but that night, a turmoil welled up inside me...

Two days later, at noon, the weather was unbearably hot and humid. Hui arrived, carrying a bottle of wine. He asked me to bring two glasses, pour him a drink, and have a toast with him, saying he had something to say. I filled my glass, and Hui picked up his glass and downed it in one gulp, his pale face turning bright red. I picked up my glass too and drank it down in one go, just like him.

I can usually drink a little, but maybe it was the heat, plus my heart isn't very strong, so the wine made my heart race, and I felt terrible. Hui sensed my discomfort and said a lot of self-reproachful things, pulling me to lie down and then sitting down beside me. He took my hand and said there was something he had been thinking about for a long time, and he wouldn't have the courage to say it without a drink. He begged me not to interrupt him and to let him finish.

Hui said, "From the first day you arrived, almost everyone has been talking about you, saying that a beautiful woman with a child might not be a good person. But, based on my observation (though I can't see, he explained self-deprecatingly), you're not that kind of improper woman..." Then Hui squeezed my hand tightly and said, "Xinyue, I want you, and I want you for life! I'll never let you cry again, never let you be afraid of the dark again, I'll do my best to protect you..." After saying this, his expression suddenly turned like that of a child who had made a mistake. He sat there quietly, looking helpless, as if waiting for me to "deal with" him. Actually, he didn't know that I was already in tears! I don't
know how much time had passed before I slowly sat up, reached out my hands, and slowly wrapped them around his neck. I felt Hui's whole body tremble slightly, and then he hugged me tightly. That year I was 29, and Hui was 4 years younger than me—it was Hui's first time…

Afterwards, Hui asked me if I regretted it. I told him we were both adults, and as long as we cherished each other, I believed the sky would always be blue…

I still married someone else

. That December, my younger sister came to visit, saying my parents insisted she take her child there because the education and conditions were much better. They also hoped I would end my life there as soon as possible and move there so they could take care of me. My sister only stayed for two days before leaving with the child. The empty house left me feeling utterly lost about the future. Hui finally spoke, asking what my plans were. I said I would go back and discuss it with my parents, then come back to pick him up. And so, I returned to my parents' side.

I remember it was my father's birthday that day; the whole family sat together, it was so lively. Seeing everyone so happy, I took the opportunity to tell them about Hui and me. They were stunned at first, then like a volcanic eruption, flames erupted and tongues of fire spread… I didn't say a word, because I knew that at that moment, nothing I said would make a difference.

Hui and I talked on the phone twice a week, always sharing good news and never bad. Each time, I told him not to worry, to be patient, and that I would come back to pick him up once I had settled things at home. However, at the end of the second year after I returned, my mother suddenly fell ill with a brain tumor. That day, she wanted to speak to me alone, refusing to let my father hear. She said, "Xinyue, I know what you're thinking. He was there for you when you were most lost and helpless. But you must listen to me on this matter—find someone who is healthy. Promise me, or I won't rest in peace even in death..." Looking into my mother's expectant eyes, I finally nodded...

But then, my mother insisted that I find someone to settle down with before she passed away. Out of filial piety, I decided to get married.

The night before my wedding, I called Hui. I told him I couldn't convince my family, couldn't convince myself, so I probably wouldn't contact him again. After a moment of silence, Hui's unusually intense voice came from the other end. He said his parents had given us some money, and that once he learned a trade, he would open a massage parlor for the blind, and our lives would definitely be better! I tried my best to hold back my tears. Before he finished speaking, I said something I'll regret to this day, something I'll regret for the rest of my life—I said, "Wake up, be realistic!" There was sudden silence on the other end. I quickly hung up and cried for a long, long time.

My mother passed away. I lived with that alcoholic for less than two years before we broke up. From then on, I never considered getting married again. I changed careers, working as a salesperson for a small factory, constantly busy outside. I couldn't stop for a moment. It seemed that only in the endless rush of work could I forget Hui, forget the pain of losing Hui, forget the pain and hurt I had caused him.

But in fact, no matter how busy I was, I had never truly forgotten Hui deep down.

Yearning for our love

... This year, the factory sent me to Inner Mongolia. I felt an indescribable excitement and anticipation—it was only a few dozen kilometers from Hui's home!

I finally arrived in this city I had left five years ago. With immense trepidation, I dialed that familiar yet unfamiliar number. A familiar voice came through, politely asking who I was looking for. I was speechless for a moment. After a moment of silence, I hastily tried to hang up when a soft sigh came from the other end: "Is it you? Actually, I guessed it was you, but it's really unexpected. Where are you?" His gentle voice came again, and my tears had already overflowed. I cried so hard I couldn't speak! I felt like a lost child who had suddenly found home; the feeling was indescribable. Hearing my cries, he said anxiously, "Don't cry, okay? Tell me what's wrong? Where are you?" "I'm on the bridge, I want to see you, is that okay?" I said pitifully, like a child. "Listen, don't cry anymore, don't move, wait for me!"

Soon, a taxi pulled up and stopped right next to me. Hui opened the back door. Neither of us said anything; I took him directly to my small hotel. Looking closely at him, I noticed he was much darker and thinner, but also much more mature. I wanted to break the awkward silence and sit closer to take his hand, but he recoiled as if he'd been electrocuted. I tried to calm myself down and asked him if he was alright, if he had become a father. He sighed, seemingly relaxing slightly, a hint of a smile appearing on his face. "Really, I'm not even married yet, how could I be a father? Let me tell you, I'm very realistic now, and I've completely woken up. I simply don't have the ability to protect a woman, so I shouldn't burden her. All these years, I've repeatedly thought about what you said, and only now have I realized you were right..."

Before Hui could finish, I threw myself into his arms: "Please, please stop! I know I was wrong! A simple 'I'm sorry' can't make up for everything you've endured these past five years. I shouldn't have been so heartless towards you. Please give me a chance; I will repay what I owe you and what I owe myself these past few years! To be honest, after walking alone for so long, in my heart..." "You're still the best! I'm tired, I want a shoulder to lean on—let's start over, give me a home, let me settle down, you won't refuse me, right? Forgive me, okay…"

Hui cupped my face in his hands, sighed deeply, and said, "Xinyue, I've waited five years, longed for five years, isn't this exactly what I wanted? But I can't afford it. Give me some time, if I can successfully open my own massage parlor, I will come to you, and find what I lost. At the same time, give yourself some time, think carefully and calmly, is being with me worth it…"

In this way, Hui dealt with my, or rather, our five years of longing day and night, with an unusually calm attitude. I was speechless. I could only hope that he would realize his ideal as soon as possible, because that was also the ideal of our love…

After sorting out Xinyue's story, the classic film "Scent of a Woman" suddenly flashed through my mind. The general in the film was a blind man, although he also had his proud, stubborn, and even neurotic moments, he was so intelligent and wise. And Hui? Hui is so gentle and kind, so wise and strong! His silence contains such profound self-respect; his almost blind eyes possess an incredibly sharp gaze, allowing him to perceive the colors of the world and the preciousness of love more clearly than most!

We should bless Hui, for he has endowed his life with boundless light and color through his rich and pure heart; and we also bless Xinyue—when your heart shines brightly again, your sky, and the sky of your future love, is destined to be an eternally blue expanse…

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I took that virgin's first time.

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