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The Sequel to Wu Dalang 

After Pan Jinlian fell in love with Ximen Qing, Wu Dalang was furious, but he was helpless
. He couldn't beat Ximen Qing in a fight, and Pan Jinlian wouldn't listen to reason. Desperate to
avoid , Wu Dalang decided to commit suicide by throwing himself into the Yellow River. He drifted in the water,
eventually being swept to several islands. Local fishermen pulled him from the water and found he was still
breathing. They quickly performed CPR, reviving the dying Wu Dalang. The fishermen were overjoyed and spread the news, saying that a tall, handsome, and powerful man
had come to the island. They declared that their ancestors had been short for generations and that they should use this man's height advantage to improve their race, making him their king. So Wu Dalang became king. With three palaces, six courtyards, and seventy-two concubines, Wu Dalang quickly had a large number of princes. These princes scattered among the common people, marrying ordinary women, and from then on, the height of the local inhabitants significantly increased. Wu Dalang was initially quite diligent as king. Every day was the same: "Those with matters to report should go to court early , those without should leave early." After a while, he found it very tedious. The officials would spend ages discussing even the most trivial things. So he said, "From now on , write down the important points of your matters in memorials and submit them to me." The officials were surprised. "What do you mean by 'write'? We can't read or write." Wu Dalang said, "Alright, I'll hold a literacy class for everyone." So he used his limited knowledge to open a literacy class for the officials, teaching them to read and write. But Wu Dalang was a pancake seller; he only knew a few characters, and for many, he only remembered some radicals. When the officials learned and spread the word, they forgot parts of some characters, thus forming what is now known as a kind of "pseudo" writing: hiragana , katakana, and the like. This is an important part of Eastern culture. After Wu Dalang implemented this reform, he gained even more support. One day he realized that his subjects had no names. So he said, "This won't do; everyone must have names and surnames ." Of course, you can't use the surnames Zhao, Qian, Sun, and Li anymore; whoever lives there will have that surname. So, we got surnames like "Tanaka," "Matsushita," and "Yamaguchi." As for the given names, let 's go with "one, two, three, four." But the eldest son can't be called "Dalang," that would be taboo; he can only be called "Taro." The second son can't be called "Erlang," that would be taboo for my younger brother Wu Erlang; he can only be called "Jiro." The rest of you can be called in order; I have no objection. Thus, this country had names like "Yamaguchi Taro," "Tanaka Jiro," and so on. After Wu Dalang became king, he grew tired of the constant delicacies. He remembered when he was adrift at sea, he had nothing to eat but catch fish and eat it raw. Thinking back, he remembered how delicious it tasted. So, he ordered his chefs to always cook fish raw, never cooked. This dish was popularized and received enthusiastic support from the people of the whole country, becoming a famous dish of the nation. Wu Dalang also discovered that the local people, like the Chinese, slept in beds. He was furious. He recalled how, ever since Pan Jinlian and Ximen Qing had their affair, Ximen Qing had frequently visited his home, leaving him nowhere to sleep but on the floor. " If I, the king, can only sleep on the floor, then you can only sleep on the floor too!" he thought. "Only by enduring hardship and humiliation can I never forget the shame of having my wife stolen!" So he issued a decree. From then on, the people of that country could only sleep on mats laid on the floor—this is what's known as *tatami*. Wu Dalang thought, "In China, being a king is grand, with a retinue of officials and flags flying everywhere . Our country doesn't even have a symbol; how boring!" So he took out his apron from when he sold pancakes, had the eunuch wash it—it was still white enough—and used it as a flag. A flag needs some kind of symbol, right? All Wu Dalang could remember was the pancakes he used to sell. So he baked a bright red, round pancake and stuck it in the middle of his apron. This became the flag of that island nation. Wu Dalang reigned as king for several years before dying peacefully. On his deathbed, he was still resentful of not being able to defeat Ximen Qing and avenge the theft of his wife. He left a will instructing his descendants to seek revenge on Ximen Qing. Later, his descendants practiced day and night, and even secretly learned some kung fu from the Shaolin Temple. To commemorate King Wu Dalang, they named it " Wu Shi Dao" (later, due to the low literacy level of those who learned the kung fu and the fact that the country's script was a "pseudo -script," it was mistakenly called "Bushido"). Because Wu Dalang rose to power from nothing, these kung fu styles also became known as "Karate." At the end of the Yuan Dynasty and the beginning of the Ming Dynasty, descendants of the Wu clan began sending people to land on the Chinese mainland to seek revenge on Ximen Qing, but they were driven back to sea by our national hero Qi Jiguang—this is the historical "anti-Japanese pirate" movement. Entering the 20th century, the Wu clan swept across China from north to south and from east to west, ravaging much of our land, yet they still couldn't find their enemy, Ximen Qing. So they actually demanded that the Chinese learn their "fake" script, adopt their names, and achieve "Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity" under the banner of "apron and sesame cakes." This was truly laughable to the Chinese, who were then unable to defeat them on the battlefield. Recently, descendants of Wu Dalang reportedly have reliable intelligence suggesting that Ximen Qing is hiding in the Fujian area, hence the appearance of people selling sesame cakes on the Diaoyu Islands, opposite Fujian.

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