Wife's Desire: A Labyrinth of Desire - Chapter Seventy-Three: Dreams and Nightmares

Upon learning that Shen Ying had left Nanjing alone and headed south, I felt a pang of pain in my heart, and a sense of loss washed over me. Thinking about how Lai Jun, that bastard, had ruined our once happy and carefree life, I hated him with a passion that made me grit my teeth.
During the day, I continued searching for Lai Jun. When I got home at night, I went online and kept searching for the explicit photos and videos that had been exposed on various small websites. I was worried that Lai Jun might post Shen Ying's photos and videos out of some kind of bragging mentality, which would have a bad impact on me and Shen Ying. Fortunately, I haven't found anything yet.
Of course, I didn't tell any acquaintances about my divorce from Shen Ying. Occasionally, when someone asked about Shen Ying, I would give a vague answer.
In my free time, I've been thinking: if Shen Ying and I had a child, would I divorce her because of her infidelity? Because we don't have children, I can't answer that question at all. Regarding children, I've thought about this before: Shen Ying and I are both somewhat childish and immature, like little kids. If we had a child, would we be good parents?
In the first few days after the divorce, I was consumed by resentment over the infidelity and disappointment in the marriage, harboring a deep-seated hatred for Lai Jun and Shen Ying. However, after learning of Shen Ying's departure, as time passed, I gradually calmed down and realized that she was also a victim of this tragic infidelity. Even though she had hurt me many times, memories of our loving relationship began to surface in my mind, and I started to miss Shen Ying.
I began to regret my hasty divorce. I felt I had acted too impulsively and stubbornly, divorcing before fully understanding the truth, which was indeed too reckless. Li Binxu's wife's words, "There's no medicine for regret," gradually became clearer in my mind, and I finally felt I was reaping what I sowed. I could only tell myself that Shen Ying's behavior had proven her to be an ungrateful slut, and she wasn't worth my regret.
It's been said that women are sometimes strange creatures. When you cherish her and treat her like royalty, she often scorns you; but when you trample her underfoot and make her feel as insignificant as dust, she becomes completely subservient to you. In short, women don't crave the feeling of being cherished, but rather the feeling of being conquered. I treated Shen Ying like a precious jewel, yet she repaid me with infidelity and betrayal. Lai Jun ruthlessly abused her, yet she submitted to him—what a cruel testament to this.
The fact that Shen Ying had driven that car was also a source of frustration for me. I'd rather take a taxi, squeeze onto a bus, or even walk every day than ever want to touch that car again. In the end, I found someone to sell it for 120,000 yuan. I bought the car in March for a total of 170,000 yuan, and sold it before I'd even driven it for four months. Out of sight, out of mind—that was my thinking when I sold the car.
In the days that followed, a dream I had before kept recurring in my dreams—the dream of that little child.
Once I dreamt that Shen Ying and I were ice skating at the ice rink in our hometown. Shen Ying fell, and I went to help her up. She fell into my arms, smiling, and told me that there was a surprise waiting for me at home. She pulled me, and somehow we ended up in our new house, in the nursery, where we saw a pretty little girl sitting on a playmat, playing with Barbie dolls. She looked up, saw Shen Ying and me, and smiled.
Another time, I dreamt that Shen Ying and I were walking on the campus of Nanjing University. She whispered in my ear that there was a surprise waiting for me at home. We returned to our old home and saw my mother holding a chubby little boy and playing with him. I laughed happily, and that laughter woke me up. After I got up, when I recalled the contents of the dream, I felt extremely sad.
In such dreams, I feel incredibly happy, but upon waking, these dreams deeply wound me, leaving me depressed and disoriented all day—more heartbreaking than any nightmare. Gradually, I became afraid of having such dreams. I could only pray before bed that I wouldn't have these dreams again tonight, even a nightmare would be much better. One morning, I accidentally found a bottle of erythromycin in my bag, realizing that I had been so focused on revenge and divorce that I had forgotten to take my medication and see a doctor. I wondered how my condition would progress after not taking my medication for over twenty days. Alarmed, I rushed to the hospital and underwent further tests. The results came back the next day: both mycoplasma samples were still positive, but thankfully, they hadn't progressed further.
This shock temporarily made me forget the pain of the divorce, and I focused my attention on my illness. I thought I should contact Shen Ying, so I called Li Binxu again to ask for her new contact information. But Li Binxu told me he still had no news or contact information for Shen Ying; she had vanished without a trace. He cautiously asked if I needed anything from Shen Ying, and after hesitating for a long time, I finally said it was still about the package containing Shen Ying's belongings. I didn't want to tell him the shameful fact that Shen Ying and I both had STDs, but I didn't dare ask Shen Ying's parents either; otherwise, our divorce would surely be exposed, because her parents certainly wouldn't believe that their son-in-law didn't know their daughter's phone number. At this point, I had no way to contact her and could only hope that Shen Ying would have good luck.

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Wife's Desire: A Labyrinth of Desire - Chapter Seventy-Three: Dreams and Nightmares

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