65th Express

Zhang Chu boarded the 9 PM express train to Nanjing, number 65. He felt a sense of escape as he boarded, as if his heart was being clouded by something—lust, passion, loneliness, pleasure, experience, games, needs… all possibilities. Outside the window, the dark night sky was murky, like it was floating with mud. Inside the carriage, a corrosive, damp smell, like a woman's sanitary napkin, permeated the air. Zhang Chu leaned against the window, his eyes fixed on the outside, his mind a jumble of thoughts, like maggots crawling inside.
He was bewildered. He had initially thought he wouldn't have a relationship with Xiao Mei, believing she had slept with many men. He thought women who slept with many men were devoid of emotion, while Zhang Chu was an emotional person. He couldn't understand how he had ended up sleeping with Xiao Mei. Furthermore, during their time together, Xiao Mei was always the one in control; she only cared about her own feelings, not what Zhang Chu gained or even whether he experienced pleasure. Thinking this way, he couldn't help but think of Ms. Chen again. Unlike Xiaomei, Ms. Chen took the initiative. After having sex with Zhang Chu, she began to arouse his enthusiasm, urging him to vigorously penetrate her, while Xiaomei was the one penetrating him. Zhang Chu was somewhat reluctant to use the word "penetration," but they were indeed penetrating, regardless of who initiated it. He believed that his sexual relations with Shiyun and Shiming weren't "penetration," but rather an intimate union. Sexual pleasure comes from the union of two people, and the intensity of pleasure is determined by the closeness of that union.
Thinking about this, he couldn't help but question his own body, something he had never experienced before. He believed that his "penetration" of Ms. Chen and Xiaomei's "penetration" of him wasn't from his true heart, but rather the behavior of his sexual organs, their needs, not Zhang Chu's inner needs or soul's needs. As he thought this, Xiaomei's sexual organs appeared before him, a loose, wet organ. As Xiaomei penetrated him, she looked down at him. When she saw her bodily fluids flowing from her genitals down Zhang Chu's penis, she seemed to experience satisfaction or pleasure, her whole body becoming intoxicated. She then made some spasmodic movements and produced some slurring sounds. In the extremely slippery movement of her genitals, she moaned happily, her throat filled with a phlegm-like lump that she couldn't bear to spit out, letting it remain inside, producing muffled, pleasurable sounds, as if Zhang Chu's penis had entered her throat.
Gradually, Zhang Chu's body became covered in a pus-like substance, emitting a smell like rotten apples. When she reached orgasm, her face contorted into an angry expression. Zhang Chu, however, gained no pleasure throughout the entire process, receiving no pleasure from her genitals through his own. If there was any pleasure, it was certainly consumed by his own genitals. His only feeling was that his genitals had been raped by another genital, and willingly so.
The night was deep, the pitch-black sky flashing past outside the train carriage, the rumbling of the wheels seeming to be the only sound in the world.
Zhang Chu suddenly felt the need to examine his own genitals. They hung there all day; how close, or how far, were they to his body and soul? He felt these past few days had been somewhat absurd—first with Ms. Chen, and now with Xiao Mei. If this trend continued, another Ms. Chen would appear, and another Xiao Mei would appear. Was a man really just one thing? If all his limbs were removed, what remained, the only thing left, was this thing—was this me? Did this thing represent manhood? If he threw this thing away and others saw it, would they all say, "This is a man"? And if he threw away a man's arms, legs, head, hands, and feet, would others only say, "These are arms, legs, head, hands, and feet, not a man, unrelated to men"?
Thinking this, he unconsciously reached into his pants pocket, feeling for his penis, as if he were discovering for the first time that such a thing existed there. As he stroked it, he sometimes tugged at it, as if testing how firmly it was stuck there. For the first time, he realized that a king resided here, a king who ruled over him. He decided that when he returned, he would examine his genitals to see what exactly was hanging there.
Around 2 PM, Zhang Chu arrived in Nanjing. Upon returning home, he immediately called Shi Yun to tell her he was home and to reassure her. This call was also indirectly a call to Shi Ming, urging her to return home soon.
He checked the time; it was only a little past 3 PM, still early. He decided to take a shower first. After showering, he picked up the phone, intending to call Xiao Xu. But holding the phone, he worried that Ms. Chen would answer. Knowing he was back, Ms. Chen would most likely ask him out, and he didn't want to see her right now. He thought that if it was Ms. Chen's voice, he would immediately hang up without saying a word. After dialing, the phone rang a few times but no one answered. Just as he was about to hang up, he heard Xiao Xu call out "Hello, hello" on the other end of the line. Zhang Chu immediately perked up and asked if anyone else was in Xiao Xu's office.
Xiao Xu replied, "You forgot? It's Wednesday, everyone's next door having political study." Zhang Chu then remembered. He told Xiao Xu he had returned from Beijing. They chatted casually, and during their conversation, he asked if she was free that evening. Xiao Xu asked what for. Zhang Chu said he wanted to invite her to dinner. Xiao Xu said, "Don't get any ideas." Zhang Chu said, "Just dinner." They arranged to meet at 7 pm at the entrance of the Qingchi Hotel.
After hanging up, Zhang Chu hesitated. He felt this appointment was too impulsive; Xiao Xu might even think he was trying to seduce her. If she thought that, it would damage their friendship. In the organization, he and Xiao Xu were the closest of confidants. He needed Xiao Xu's friendship; he didn't want to lose her. He decided that after meeting Xiao Xu, he would abandon this absurd idea.
At seven o'clock in the evening, they met promptly in front of the Qingchi Hotel. Because of the heat, Xiao Xu was dressed rather revealingly. She wore a white t-shirt with black stripes and a light-colored mini-skirt, without stockings, looking youthful and sexy. Upon seeing Zhang Chu, she half-jokingly teased him, asking what wicked thoughts he had.
The hotel was crowded, and Zhang Chu found a table against the wall. After they sat down, a waitress brought the menu. Zhang Chu took the menu and let Xiao Xu order first. Xiao Xu ordered a plate of drunken shrimp and a plate of cold loofah salad, then handed the menu to Zhang Chu; Zhang Chu ordered a plate of duck tongue, a plate of stir-fried red peppers, a soup, and a bottle of dark beer. After ordering, they handed the menu to the waiter. After the waiter took the menu, Xiao Xu asked Zhang Chu how things were going with her lover in Qingdao. Zhang Chu smiled and said, "It's good, but it's too tiring in bed." Xiao Xu quickly said, "I didn't ask you that."
After the dishes were served, Zhang Chu first filled Xiao Xu's glass with wine, then poured some for himself. The two chatted while drinking and eating. During the conversation, that thought flashed through Zhang Chu's mind again. Once it came to him, he tested Xiao Xu with a question: "Do you think Adam was a man before he was expelled from the Garden of Eden?" Xiao Xu said, "Why do you ask that?" Zhang Chu said, "I'm wondering why Eve didn't have any children in the Garden of Eden." Xiao Xu laughed and said, "Eve probably practiced family planning." Zhang Chu said, "God shouldn't have created humans with any defects. Since they became husband and wife, Eve should be able to conceive and have children."
Upon hearing this, Xiao Xu immediately interrupted Zhang Chu, saying, "They only slept together after being expelled from the Garden of Eden." Zhang Chu countered, "According to your logic, they only slept together after being expelled from Eden. How could they be considered husband and wife in Eden? Besides, they had no clothes to wear in Eden; they were naked together, even sleeping naked in each other's arms. Didn't Adam experience desire?" Xiao Xu laughed loudly at this, saying, "Why do you think about these things? If you have faith in God, you don't need to doubt." Zhang Chu continued, "I'm puzzled, and I've always believed that Adam wasn't a man in the Garden of Eden, nor was he even human. If he were a man, his body would secrete male hormones, and since he secreted male hormones, he would have slept with Eve. He didn't, which proves he wasn't a man. He wasn't a man, but he certainly wasn't a woman either." If he were a woman, he would also secrete female hormones. Since he secreted female hormones and there was no one else in the Garden of Eden, he and Eve would have had a homosexual relationship, and vice versa. Since they didn't have any relationship, the best explanation is that Adam and Eve weren't human in the Garden of Eden.
At this point, Xiao Xu laughed and teased Zhang Chu, saying, "Do you think everyone is like you? Adam had willpower and patience; he was a typical man." Seeing that Xiao Xu was on the right track, Zhang Chu pretended to say, "You're jumping to conclusions too quickly. Maybe I'm more of a man than Adam." "Come on," Xiao Xu interrupted Zhang Chu, mockingly saying, "Which girlfriend don't you crave?" Zhang Chu immediately interrupted Xiao Xu, saying, "That's unfair to me. Let's talk about us. When have I ever done anything to you?" Xiao Xu quickly cut off Zhang Chu's words, saying, "Don't drag 'us' into this." Zhang Chu ignored Xiao Xu's prompting and continued, "I haven't done anything to you in the past, and I won't do anything to you in the future. Even if we were together like Adam and Eve, I wouldn't do anything to you." Xiao Xu thought Zhang Chu was joking and said, "Don't be ridiculous." Zhang Chu chuckled and tried to sound joking as he spoke to Xiao Xu, "Shall we give it a try? I bet you'll lose." Xiao Xu sensed something was off and said, "You seem to be setting me up." Zhang Chu stopped laughing and said seriously, "I've been very confused about myself lately, always feeling like I'm being controlled by some kind of desire." Xiao Xu lowered her head and stopped talking. Seeing this, Zhang Chu wanted to stop himself, but still said, "For example, we..." As soon as Zhang Chu finished speaking, Xiao Xu's face turned red, and she became nervous, putting down her chopsticks as if to leave. Zhang Chu quickly reached out to stop her, saying, "I was just joking, I'm sorry." Xiao Xu said somewhat angrily, "You're always trying to play tricks on me." Zhang Chu said, "Okay, I won't say anymore, but I was telling the truth, I really want to get to know myself." After saying this, he told Xiao Xu to eat.
After a while, Xiao Xu calmed down a lot and asked Zhang Chu, "How did you come up with this idea?" Zhang Chu said, "You're still angry after I told you?" Xiao Xu said, "Don't be angry anymore, tell me." Zhang Chu said, "I've been having some really bad mental health issues lately. I told you before, I once shared a room with a strange woman, but nothing happened. But if two people sleep naked together until dawn and nothing happens, that's exciting enough in itself."
Xiao Xu didn't say anything more, so Zhang Chu said something else, joking with her. They ate until nine o'clock before paying the bill and leaving. Afterwards, they walked west along Beijing West Road. Both sides of Beijing West Road were lined with awnings, and there were many cement benches under the awnings. On summer evenings, many people sat under them to cool off. Before Zhang Chu got married, he often walked this road with Xiao Xu. As they walked, some memories came back, but they hadn't walked this road together on a summer evening.
After walking for a while, they reached Yunnan Road. Xiao Xu said she needed to make a phone call home, and then left Zhang Chu to go to a small roadside shop ahead to make the call. After making the call, she came back and asked Zhang Chu, "Where are we going now?"
Zhang Chu immediately understood Xiao Xu's meaning and said to her, "Let's go to my place." After saying this, Zhang Chu hailed a taxi on the roadside, and they got in together and took a taxi home. He didn't let the driver take him all the way to his house; instead, he got out outside the gate of the yard. He went back inside first, telling Xiao Xu to wait a while to avoid being seen. He
left the door open, without turning on the light, and waited for Xiao Xu. After a while, Xiao Xu came in. She seemed flustered when she entered. After Zhang Chu closed the door, the two sat together on the sofa, remaining silent for a long time. After a while, Zhang Chu reached out and took Xiao Xu's hand, saying, "Thank you."
Xiao Xu's heart was pounding. She rested her head on Zhang Chu's hand and said, "Don't say anything."
Zhang Chu hugged Xiao Xu, then let go of her, went into the bathroom, turned on the light, and then turned on the water heater, filling the bathtub with hot water. While filling the tub, he could clearly feel himself getting hot. He walked to the mirror, looked into his eyes, took a deep breath, then left the bathroom and beckoned Xiao Xu to come in and take a shower.
As Xiao Xu entered, Zhang Chu was about to leave when she called him back, asking him to sit beside the bathtub and watch her bathe. Zhang Chu's body instantly became aroused, as if he had heard her call; his penis became hard and erect. At this moment, although Xiao Xu was nervous, she remained calm. She stood before Zhang Chu, taking off her clothes one by one. When Xiao Xu stood naked before Zhang Chu, his will almost crumbled. He had never seen Xiao Xu naked before; her smooth skin, beautiful breasts, soft abdomen, and the mysterious area between her legs were all incredibly alluring to him. But Zhang Chu tried his best to control his desire, only reaching out to gently pinch Xiao Xu's nipple, then smiling and releasing it, sitting beside the bathtub and watching her go in to shower.
As Xiao Xu rinsed herself in the bathtub, she had returned to her usual state when she was with Zhang Chu. As if deliberately trying to break Zhang Chu's will, she asked him, "It's said that when a man is aroused, his penis gets erect. Is yours erect now?"
Zhang Chu calmly replied, "Yes, it is.
You're going to take a shower later, why don't you take off your clothes and let me see?"
Zhang Chu obediently took off his clothes and sat naked in front of Xiao Xu. His penis pointed directly at Xiao Xu, standing erect. Xiao Xu asked, "Why is it so big?" "
It gets big when it desires you. It longs for you right now.
You said you wouldn't do anything to me." As Xiao Xu said this, she deliberately presented her genitals to Zhang Chu. "
I won't." Zhang Chu's soft tone still showed a firmness. "
It looks quite ugly. How could a man have such a strange thing?" Xiao Xu said as she rubbed her genitals. The shower gel mixed with her body odor, emitting a strong fragrance. Zhang Chu's penis was already rock hard.
The uglier it was, the more it would act strangely. Zhang Chu said, "There's a saying that a man's lifelong struggle is for it."
It can strip a man of all his dignity, leaving him to live like a dog. It can also grant a man everything he lacks: love, dignity, wealth, and so on. It is conquered by women, and it conquers women in return.
"You have many girlfriends, all for it?" Xiao Xu said, taking the showerhead off and directing the water towards her breasts, letting the water pool at her genitals, creating a soft, sensual gurgling sound in the bathtub. "
It's said that a man's physique, will, strength, and so on all originate from it, and its existence depends on a woman. When a man has no woman by his side, it means his physique, will, strength, and so on no longer exist, or rather, this man is essentially dead." Zhang Chu, speaking here, felt something about to burst from his penis, as if due to excessive pressure. "
So you're saying that without this thing, a woman has no physique, will, and strength?" As Xiao Xu said this, she reached out and touched her genitals again, her fingers circling there and making a probing motion, as if telling Zhang Chu that physique, will, and strength resided within.
Women are parasitic; their bodies, wills, and strength grow within men. When a man loses these qualities, a woman will seek to parasitize a new man. The deaths of both men and women are not defined by whether or not they are alive.
Whether a man dies depends on whether his body, will, and strength still exist; whether a woman dies depends on whether she still lives alongside a man. As Zhang Chu said this, his eyes remained fixed on Xiao Xu's vulva. Xiao Xu's vulva had thin, tender red labia on either side, which were now slightly opening and closing, very alluring to Zhang Chu. At this moment, Zhang Chu's penis throbbed gently with desire, as if bowing. "
You sound like a philosopher," Xiao Xu said, then applied some more shower gel to her breasts and between her legs, and slowly began to rub them with her hands. Zhang Chu watched, and his penis trembled even more violently. Seeing that Zhang Chu was still persisting, Xiao Xu teased him, saying, "Help me rinse off the shower gel."
Zhang Chu stood up, took the showerhead from Xiao Xu's hand, and went over to rinse her body. At this moment, his erect penis was almost touching Xiao Xu's body; perhaps, with just a moment's impulse, Zhang Chu could have thrust it straight in. Sometimes, when Xiao Xu reached down to wash her genitals, the back of her hand would brush against his penis. Zhang Chu would become excited, wishing Xiao Xu would immediately grab it or insert it into her body, letting it indulge in pleasure. But Zhang Chu still tried to restrain himself, carefully washing Xiao Xu's breasts and genitals. After Xiao Xu finished washing, Zhang Chu took a large bath towel and went to dry her off.
When he dried Xiao Xu's body, his hands would sometimes touch her breasts and genitals, and Xiao Xu's body would become excited, as if she were welcoming him. At this time, his penis would become even more erect, and his body would involuntarily move closer to Xiao Xu's body, the head of his penis swinging and rubbing against her body, even resisting some force and trying to reach towards Xiao Xu's genitals. Sometimes, Xiao Xu would lean closer to Zhang Chu, letting his penis press directly against her, waiting for him to thrust in uncontrollably and complete their baptism. But Zhang Chu stubbornly resisted, even pressing his penis down with his hand to prevent it from getting hard. After Zhang Chu dried Xiao Xu's body, the two went to the room together. Zhang Chu first turned on the room light and had Xiao Xu sit in front of the dressing table in the bedroom. Then he took out a hairdryer and started drying Xiao Xu's hair. As he dried her hair, it was as if some force was acting on his penis, which would frequently touch Xiao Xu's body, exploring the source of physical pleasure. After
Zhang Chu dried Xiao Xu's hair, she picked up a bottle of lotion from the dressing table, looked at it, and asked Zhang Chu, "Is this for your lover?" Zhang Chu said, "Yes." Xiao Xu said, "Put some on my body too." Zhang Chu took the bottle from Xiao Xu's hand, opened the cap, poured some into his hand, spread it in his palm, and then applied it to Xiao Xu's body. Xiao Xu had just finished showering, her body soft and smooth. With each touch Zhang Chu gave her, the fire in his heart seemed to burn brighter, fueling his desire. When he massaged Xiao Xu's breasts and genitals, she immediately let out a soft moan as if electrocuted, her body instinctively trying to collapse into Zhang Chu's arms. Zhang Chu was almost ready to unleash his passion with a powerful thrust.
After applying lotion to Xiao Xu, Zhang Chu turned on the CD player, played Schumann's "Tr?umerei," and went into the bathroom to shower. While showering, Zhang Chu stood in the tub, as if abusing an ugly person, rinsing his penis with cold water until it was completely limp. When he came out of the bathroom, Xiao Xu was already lying in bed. He went over and touched her breast, but Xiao Xu immediately pressed her hand against Zhang Chu's, preventing him from removing it. Zhang Chu sat on the bed and placed his other hand on Xiao Xu's breast, letting her enjoy a gentle caress. After a while, Zhang Chu asked Xiao Xu if she wanted something to drink. Xiao Xu asked if Zhang Chu had any wine, so Zhang Chu went to the wine cabinet in the living room and took out a bottle of red wine and two glasses. He poured half a glass for Xiao Xu first, then poured half a glass for himself. As Xiao Xu took the wine, she knelt up, rested her shoulder on Zhang Chu's chest, and said to him with a provocative look, "Butterflies are used to dying in wine glasses." Zhang Chu pretended to be a little drunk, kissed Xiao Xu, and said, "Drunken poets all smell like butterflies."
The two of them drank together, talking nonsense, their intense desire swirling in the wine glasses and swaying in the lamplight. After finishing their wine, Zhang Chu took the glass from Xiao Xu's hand, turned off the stereo and the lights, and then went to bed to hold Xiao Xu and sleep. Xiao Xu leaned against Zhang Chu's chest, his hands on her breasts, his penis pressing against her buttocks, making it difficult for her to calm down. Both their hearts pounded powerfully. After a while, Xiao Xu seemed unable to bear it any longer and said, "I'll turn over and sleep." Zhang Chu said, "Turn around, my penis will be pressing against you there." Xiao Xu said, "That's your problem, not mine." She then turned around, letting Zhang Chu face her and embrace her. Zhang Chu held Xiao Xu, his penis pressing precisely against her. At that moment, his penis, burning with desire, seemed to be compelling Zhang Chu to penetrate her. Simultaneously, Zhang Chu seemed to sense Xiao Xu's pressure; she was straining, yearning for his penis to rush in. He reached out and touched her there, finding it wet and warm. Zhang Chu felt this was somewhat cruel; he didn't know why he was doing this, or what it proved.
Xiao Xu had no sexual experience. She lay on her side in Zhang Chu's arms, making penetration impossible. She struggled several times, but Zhang Chu resisted his urges, letting his penis remain pressed against her as he exerted himself. After a while, Xiao Xu couldn't bear it any longer and tried to seduce Zhang Chu, asking, "Do you have a virginity complex?" Zhang Chu replied, "That's hard to say, because there are many reasons for it." Xiao Xu said, "I've heard that in some southern cities, deflowering a virgin costs at least five thousand yuan, and sometimes tens of thousands." Zhang Chu said, "Traditional men believe that virginity is beneficial to a man's virginity." "That's all?" Xiao Xu continued. Zhang Chu said, "Of course, there's also a man's desire to conquer. Men conquer women with their penises. A woman who isn't a virgin means she's already been conquered by someone else. Even if a man possesses her, he still doesn't feel like he's conquered her. The more virgins a man conquers, the more powerful he feels." If a man has never conquered a virgin, even if he has slept with many women, he still cannot be considered to have conquered women. Virginity holds a deeper, more primal meaning for men, not merely a superficial symbol of purity. Hearing this, Xiao Xu directly asked Zhang Chu, "Do you have the desire to conquer virgins?" Zhang Chu replied, "Every man does." Xiao Xu said, "This is the first time in my life I've undressed and lay naked in a man's arms. Don't you want to conquer a virgin, to conquer a woman?"
Hearing this, Zhang Chu's penis instinctively throbbed intensely, thrusting forcefully against Xiao Xu, ruthlessly searching for the virgin's entrance, wanting to forcefully penetrate and conquer a virgin, conquer a woman, as if it were its mission. As his penis throbbed with passion, Zhang Chu felt a sense of dread. He watched as everything he had been mentally guarding was about to be overwhelmed by the brute force of his penis. But he remained undeterred, unwilling to be conquered by his own penis. He struggled desperately, holding Xiao Xu tightly with both hands, trying his best to suppress the resistance and impact from the penis...
Zhang Chu had a very difficult night.

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