mark - Memories of the Motherland

This is an article reminiscing about a delicate girl from mainland China. We may never meet again in this life, but her unintentional
words struck my heart deeply and are unforgettable.

To protect the person involved, all names below are pseudonyms; and because my writing is not good, I will recount this in diary form.

May 4, 2000

: Several friends (Brother Zong, Brother Xun, Brother Long, and Brother Xin) and I broke away from our tour group in Hainan and went to Dongguan, Guangdong
to visit Brother Zong's friends. Since we had run out of money in Hainan, Brother Zong's friends, Mr. Lin and Mr. Ye
, gave us RMB 15,000 upon arrival. That evening, Mr. Lin and Mr. Ye treated us to a meal, which goes without saying.

The dinner was marred by the tragic death of a Taiwanese tourist in Dongguan on April 28th, leaving everyone in a somber mood.
After a hasty end to the meal, Chairman Ye suggested going to a karaoke bar at one of his invested hotels to unwind. Everyone knew that Taiwanese-invested karaoke bars offered
something special, so the group headed straight to the hotel. On the way, Brother Zong told us the rates: 2 seats for 5 minutes, 8 nights with companionship.

Shortly after we sat down, the madam entered with a group of uniformed women, bowing deeply and saying, "
Good evening, gentlemen!" A dozen or so beauties stepped forward, making everyone else pale in comparison.

At that moment, I spotted a woman of medium build, with flowing long hair and a gentle smile. I beckoned with my left
hand , and she looked around blankly. I nodded and pointed again, and she timidly approached and sat down on my left.
That was Yanmei.

Looking closer at her profile, I saw a delicate smile, a slender figure, and an arm's length that could easily encircle her. The other companions, along with about twelve or thirteen
local Taiwanese businessmen, all took turns naming their companions and jokingly said, "Since we're here, let's make the best of it! Everyone
, please name a female companion. Make it clear: choose two companions, depending on your ability."

I didn't go against the crowd and also named another female companion (Ms. Ren). This second one... to be honest, she was prettier
than Yanmei, and her performance at the table later on was also better at creating a lively atmosphere.

I prefer undiluted baijiu, but the baijiu we were drinking was diluted Gu Mian Chun, served in a communal pitcher. Being
a guest from afar, I didn't know the price of this liquor, and I wasn't familiar with our host, Mr. Ye, so I quietly asked Brother Zong, "Could you
open another bottle for me to drink alone?" Brother Zong laughed loudly, "Where do you think you are? Open it!" Upon hearing this, Ms. Ren on my right
quickly opened another bottle and poured it into my glass.

Suddenly, I noticed that Yanmei on my left wasn't moving. I turned to look and saw her still smiling blankly
. I felt a pang of regret for choosing her. But then I thought, oh well, I can always find
someone else later .

After a few rounds of drinks and songs, I suddenly had the urge to play doubles. I figured Ren was pretty good at it,
so doubles shouldn't be a problem. I decided to ask Yanmei first. Sure enough, Yanmei shyly whispered, "No way!" Hey!
The more she said no, the more I wanted to tease her. After a while, I started to see what she was like. Not flashy, not particularly charming, but actually quite attractive.
I decided to decide on my date for the night.

Just then, Yanmei suddenly said, "Why don't you ask her (Ren) first?" Huh? How come this girl
has no sense of propriety at all? A surge of anger rose within me, and I raised my voice slightly: "Come on, you! You push her, she pushes
you, do you think I'm stupid?"

Unexpectedly, Yanmei flinched and whispered, "No, I..." I downed my drink in one gulp and
turned to flirt with Ren.

Actually, Ren was playful, frivolous, and high-spirited, but I still preferred Yanmei's gentle smile and
quiet demeanor. While flirting with Ren, I kept thinking: "Who's better? Ren, or Yanmei?" Finally, looking at Yanmei
's radiant smile, I noticed two dimples, one deeper than the other. Suddenly, I abruptly approached Zong Ge and
asked , "What do we do with the extra one?"

Zong Ge still laughed loudly: "You pay for the Taijin, the loser comes over." At this moment, Zong Ge's gaze swept over
Yanmei on his left, probably thinking: "It's your turn to be laid off!" (This was later confirmed on the plane back to Taiwan; Zong Ge did indeed have
this thought at the time.)

Unexpectedly, I glanced to my right and said, "Okay! In short, the one on the right is yours." Zong Ge seemed
to see a monster, and after a long pause, he said, "Are you sure?" I reached into my pocket with my right hand, pulled out 200 NT dollars, and said, "Here
's your Taiwan Gold, I'm not drunk." I turned back to my seat, patted Ren Nu, and said, "Zong Ge wants you to come over." Without waiting for Ren Nu's reaction, I
turned back to continue chatting with Yan Mei. We didn't exchange many words, only learning that she was from Guizhou and was only 23 years old.

At this moment, I looked at my watch—oh! It was already about 11:30. Seeing that I had already downed a bottle of Gu Mian Chun, and
feeling dizzy from suddenly standing up, I thought that the journey was tiring, and tonight's drinking and revelry would have to stop for now. Seeing that Yan Mei still seemed
stunned, I couldn't help but find it amusing.

Yanmei suddenly asked, "Brother Min, why did you ask her to come over?" I smiled and said, "Actually, I
wanted you from the beginning. I was just teasing her earlier, okay?" Yanmei leaned closer to my chest and smiled shyly, "
Wouldn't ?" I said, "Playing around is one thing, but I'll still keep you company. I think you're my type. How about two thousand five hundred for three days with me?
If you don't want to come, just say so. It's okay."

Yanmei seemed to hesitate for a moment, then put her hands around my waist, which I guess
was tacit consent. I put my hand on her shoulder and asked, "I drank too fast earlier and feel a little dizzy. Do you want to
come upstairs with me?"

Girls' shyness can be really annoying sometimes. I was burning with desire and eager to get back to my room, but she was still
dawdling asking, "Can we go up now?" Annoyed, I snapped, "Why not?" I grabbed her,
greeted everyone, and all the friends present nodded knowingly, "Go ahead! Go ahead!"

We went into the room, closed the door, and I started undressing, pulling myself up to the bed and flopping onto it. Yanmei fidgeted and
seemed to be doing something. Lying on the bed, watching her silly antics, I couldn't help but chuckle, "Want to take a shower?" She
nodded and went into the bathroom. At that moment, I suddenly realized, "Oh no! We used up all our supplies in Hainan with Xin Ge and the others; we're
out of stock." Then I thought, "Yanmei came up with me; she should have some, right?" At this moment ,

Yanmei, wrapped in a bath towel, stepped out of the bathroom and curled up in bed. Just as she removed the towel, I,
blinded by lust, grabbed her and was about to mount her when she stopped me with her small hand, saying, "Brother Min, are you wearing
...that? I'm not wearing it."

At this moment, I stared at her with wide eyes, surprised, and said, "Really?" Oh dear! Mounting her immediately turned into
falling off the horse. She said in a panic, "I'll go to the service desk and come back in a bit." She then hurriedly got up, dressed, and left.

At this moment, I was truly on the verge of tears, gritting my teeth, feeling an overwhelming sorrow! My unfortunate brother
looked his unfortunate comrade, and saw a single tear well up in his eye, his entire body gradually losing its luster. It was as if he could truly understand: a burst of energy, then...
The scene was one of decline and utter devastation.

A moment later, the door quietly opened, and Yanmei timidly entered. After undressing again, she sat on the edge of the bed and began tearing off "
that ." I pulled her into my arms and kissed her passionately. She resisted for a moment but eventually
succumbed to my drunken force.

Actually, I was a little more sober during the second encounter. While teasing and caressing her, I carefully
admired . "Not bad, she's given birth!" This was my first assessment of her physique!

I had once heard a friend say that women from the mainland who had given birth often had a sad
story Yanmei was probably one of them. I thought, why spoil the mood now? Advancing into the Central Plains is more important.

Fortunately, the tide was slightly high when we landed, and there was no dryness or pain. After several gentle advances and retreats, Yanmei's brows were slightly furrowed, as if
she had something difficult to say. Ten minutes later, on a whim, I decided to test her stamina. The pace quickened, and finally,
I lifted her legs high and thrust into her forcefully. Suddenly, her face turned pale, and she gasped, "I can't take it! I
can't take it ! Put me down! I can't take it!"

I already knew what was going on, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. Although I knew my stamina required at least two
hours judging from Yanmei's stretch marks, she must have given birth recently and hadn't taken proper care of herself,
hence her weakness. What more could I say? I could only lie back on the bed, heartbroken.

After a long pause, Yanmei said softly, "I'm sorry! I can't handle your strength." I was silent for a moment, then
asked, "How old is your child?" Upon hearing this, Yanmei realized she'd been caught out and whispered, "Around
the year ago ." Ah! Just as I expected, it seems I hadn't consulted a fortune teller before going to bed tonight! Time for some casual conversation!

Yanmei's father was a veteran cadre from the Communist era, currently holding the rank of company commander and stationed in Xinjiang. She has a mother and a younger sister
(currently 13 years old). One day, a friend from Guangdong suddenly visited her home. Her mother, assuming he was Yanmei's boyfriend, urged Yanmei to return to Guangdong
with him . (Note: This paragraph may be inaccurate, as I am not fully awake yet; I will ask Yanmei to correct it later.)

Back in Guangdong, she was heavily pregnant, but her lover ran away on the eve of her delivery! (A typical guerrilla fighter!) She
had no choice but to give birth to a boy! After giving birth, she was all alone and desperately looked for work. The highest job she found was a clerk in a shoe factory, earning
1500 yuan a month; but the wet nurse only paid 400 yuan, and rent was 500 yuan. Although she still had three or four rooms in her hometown in Guizhou, with
a child, she didn't want to ask her parents for money again. She could either raise funds to open a wholesale and general store, which would cost
tens of thousands of yuan , or she could only resort to prostitution… and so on.

I was too exhausted to listen anymore; the long journey and the burning desire had left me utterly drained. Just as I was about
to turn over and go to sleep, there was a sudden knocking at the door. I thought to myself, "Damn it! Who is it?" I opened the door to find it was
Brother Zong. Upon hearing this, Yanmei quickly wrapped herself in the sheet and curled up on the bed.

Brother Zong had just come in to check on me and mentioned that there had been a striptease performance at the karaoke bar earlier... and so on.

Suddenly, Yanmei said, "Oh dear! It's almost one o'clock. I need to go downstairs to sign out, or I'll be fined." My anger
flared up , and I thought, "If you go down now, I'm going to explode!" But then I thought, she was actually in a
difficult position; saving money to make ends meet was hard enough, let alone being fined. I said, "Brother Zong, could you please tell the front desk that Yanmei is unavailable
right now ? Could you make an exception? I can vouch for her not skipping work."

Brother Zong said, "That should be possible!" Yanmei exclaimed anxiously, "No way! The company rules are very strict. Missing a sign-in or
sign-out is a 200 yuan fine, and three times means dismissal!"

I pleaded with Brother Zong, and finally he explained our relationship with Chairman Ye. Yanmei kept
grumbling (so annoying!), so I finally said, "If the 200 yuan fine is on me, you can come to me tomorrow to collect it, but
you're not allowed to leave now." Only then did Yanmei seem relieved and shut up.

After seeing Brother Zong off, an even more tragic scene unfolded for me. My pent-up emotions vanished. I
took and said to Yanmei, "You sleep on the left side. I'm used to sleeping on the right side and hugging something while I sleep." Unexpectedly,
Yanmei said, "That's perfect, I'm used to sleeping with my body hunched over." After saying that, she curled up on her own.

Oh God! Motherland, oh Motherland! This was my first time returning to my motherland to enjoy the joy of liberation, but instead, I encountered helmet
replacements, vulnerable compatriots, the cries of refugee women, Lenin's system, and in the end,
I couldn't . Is this really my beloved motherland? Alas! Sleep!

"The Chinese nation has reached its most 'sad' moment..." (Sing the national anthem!)

2000-05-05:

00 I got up early in the morning. Zong Ge and the others were already ready to go. The other girls were angrily discussing the
so-called "sex dance" of last night.

It turns out that last night, a senior manager at the hotel demanded that all the girls perform
a striptease front of male guests. Long Ge's girlfriend (the tall girl) angrily said, "What right does he have to make us undress and serve drinks?
He even threatened us that if we didn't, we wouldn't be allowed to come to work..." Looking around, none of the other friends responded, so it must be true.

Actually, I think these girls who entered the sex industry each have their own stories of hardship. For example, the tall girl
failed in her restaurant business and went into debt; Yanmei wanted to go home and open her own shop... They were all forced by circumstances. Otherwise, why would they allow their precious lives to be violated?
And aren't these hotels and managers profiting from this? So, hotels and sex workers should
be why
treat the sex workers like this? These women already feel ashamed to undress in front of strangers; why force them to do this? Sometimes, the behavior of Taiwanese businessmen is truly outrageous. We couldn't say anything, but fortunately,
our partners were protected last night to avoid further embarrassment.

At this moment, I asked Yanmei, "We're going to visit West Lake today, would you like to come along?" Yanmei
replied weakly, "Brother Min, I'm not feeling well, I get carsick after a long ride, it would just spoil the fun."

I didn't force her. Thinking that her health was too poor to "accept," I figured I could just find someone else or eat vegetarian food that
night . So I gave her 900 yuan and saw her off. At the door, I suddenly felt a pang of pity and wanted to ask her to stay again, but the words
remained unspoken.

Turning back to my room, I smiled at Brother Zong and said, "Actually, Yanmei is quite nice! If her health is really too poor, I
think she can eat vegetarian food for the remaining two nights."

Brother Zong smiled knowingly and said, "It's just for fun! Don't take it seriously!" I
didn't , but I realized it when we returned to Taiwan. I'll elaborate on that later.

The trip to West Lake is not the focus of this article, so I'll omit it!

Back at the hotel, after a short rest, it was around six o'clock. Suddenly, Xin's girlfriend came into the room and said, "Min! Your girlfriend is
looking for you downstairs! But she's too shy to come up." I thought to myself, "Could it be that the fine for not signing in last night hasn't been paid yet?"
"What to do?" Brother Zong said, "Could you please buy me a pack of cigarettes and ask her to come up? We'll help her deal with it."

A moment later, Yanmei came up, leaning timidly against the door, wearing her work uniform. As expected,
it turned out this was the case. Brother Zong went out briefly, and then the tall man came back in and said to Yanmei, "It's alright! It's all over!"
Yanmei seemed relieved and sat down beside him without saying much.

Looking at Yanmei, he thought: If she goes to work because of her health, she might not get any gigs, or she might. No gigs means no
money ; drinking while gigs is bad for her health. He made a snap decision and said, "Go change your uniform into casual clothes. You'll sit at my table tonight."
Yanmei hesitated for a moment, but still happily went to change.

After changing, he thought, "Good heavens! Does she even know how to dress?" An apple-green shirt, jeans, and mid-
heel sandals . Hey! Miss! knskdgjkfj…and excitedly declared, “I love wearing jeans!” I almost
vomited blood!

The after-dinner drinking and singing are not the focus of this article, so I'll skip them!

Before the meeting ended, everyone decided to go to Lin Zexu Park the next day. I asked Yanmei, “Are you feeling better?
Can you go tomorrow?”

She considered it for a moment and nodded. I added, “If you trust me, don’t go back to the dormitory tonight.
Sleep , so I don’t have to wait for you tomorrow.”

She gave me a sideways glance, seemingly a little suspicious! I said, “Here’s 200 NT dollars for tonight. That
means I won’t touch you tonight, okay?”

I wonder what Yanmei was thinking at that moment? But she still nodded! That night, although I was completely naked and Yanmei was only
wearing underwear, everything went smoothly. (With a woman beside me, how could I possibly sleep soundly that night?) May 6

, 2000:

A visit to Lin Zexu Park, not the focus of this article, will be omitted!

On the way back to the hotel, an unexpected event deeply moved me, which is why I am writing this today: It was around four
o'clock, and Yanmei, exhausted, lay down on my lap on her right side for a short nap. Outside the window, the setting sun shone over the mountains, piercing Yanmei's
eyes. She squinted awake and gazed out the window. I thought the setting sun was too bright, so I reached out to shield Yanmei's eyes from the sun. Unexpectedly,
Yanmei brushed my hand away, still gazing out the window, and uttered a sentence that shook me to my core: "Those mountains over there look like our
hometown!"

These words struck me like a thunderbolt. For a moment, I didn't know how to respond, only managing a wooden, "Missing home?
Hurry up some money, go home as soon as possible! This place isn't safe to stay in!"

Yanmei's eyes held endless sorrow and helplessness. She nodded, then shook her head, seemingly sighing before
reluctantly withdrawing her gaze and closing her eyes to sleep.

She was asleep! But my emotions were violently fluctuating because of her casual remark! People say:
the words of women in the pleasure quarters cannot be entirely trusted. Over the past three days, we had discussed many things, and I could see that Yanmei's brows
often carried a sense of melancholy and sorrow. Most of the time, I tried to pretend I didn't notice; because I didn't want to
show my inner thoughts on my face.

But she sleeps so gracefully now, yet how much pressure does she bear beneath that elegance?
Does have someone to confide in? We are both descendants of the Yellow Emperor, why is fate so unfair? When will she be able to
return to her homeland? Suddenly, my eyes welled up with tears.

Wait! Why did my eyes well up with tears? Could it be that I've unknowingly developed feelings for her? We
've only known each other for three days,

and I've already... fallen in love? Suddenly realizing this, and recalling the events of the past three days, I realized that I've unknowingly cared a lot about
her, including the melancholy I felt while visiting West Lake, and our time sleeping together last night... everything showed that I
liked Yanmei!

Sixteen years ago, a misunderstanding separated me from Peixi; sixteen years later, I'm married with a child, yet I'm experiencing a feeling of "meeting too late" with a hotel girl who
shares my language and culture. An ancient poem says, "Returning
the pearl , tears stream down my face; I regret not meeting you before I was married." Is this really how it is?

That evening, I asked Yanmei to eat with me at a roadside stall downstairs from the hotel. Of course, I didn't let her go back to work;
in truth, a sense of melancholy lingered in my heart. Tomorrow, we'd end this fleeting affair and return to Taiwan; it seemed unlikely
we'd be back anytime soon. But what if we did return? Perhaps three or five years later. Yanmei still being here is not what I
desire ; Yanmei not being here is also not what I desire. Life is so helpless.

After getting into bed, I couldn't suppress my melancholy and desire any longer, and finally, with Yanmei's consent, I entered "the embrace of
the motherland ." The scenery was enchanting, and the intimacy was undeniable. However, to be honest, Yanmei's bedroom
skills were really poor. Yet, even amidst her vigorous advances and moans, she maintained a faint smile on her face—
truly beautiful!

People say that men are conquering beasts during sex. But that night, besides my own enjoyment,
I was also very concerned about Yanmei's feelings. I repeatedly asked her to relax and enjoy herself, to "do everything well." Sex
should be a mutual enjoyment, not just the woman's job... I kept gently persuading her!

I don't have much experience with sex! I don't know exactly how Yanmei felt that night, but I really felt great! The amount
I ejaculated was also unexpectedly large. After we finished, Yanmei looked at the amount of semen she released, lowered her head, and smiled shyly, "This could
give birth to three babies!"

I felt a wave of drowsiness, and I lay down, holding Yanmei, feeling drowsy.

Yanmei was really obedient, lying beside me without moving! Only when I regained some strength did I think about Yanmei's
condition and turned to ask, "Did I hurt you?" She said, "I'm fine!"

At this moment, Yanmei rested her head on my chest, as docile as a kitten! What was I thinking? I'm leaving tomorrow
, and I really wanted to stay a few more days! But the words caught in my throat. I thought, "Why bother? Isn't this
the best ending? We'll never see each other again anyway!"

With that thought, I changed the subject to casual conversation. I've forgotten what we talked about, but suddenly I learned
a phrase from Yanmei's hometown dialect: "背箕背得儿捡," which seems to mean picking up trash! How strange!
Why ? Yanmei even laughed at my accent.

2000-05-07

: The last day! I woke up early, and my desire was already burning! I turned to Yanmei; she already knew what I wanted! Yanmei
pushed me away, saying, "I can't take it anymore! You were too rough last night, I can't handle it!" (Strange! They really
like to use the word "roughly.") I looked at her, reluctantly suppressing my own desire.
Thinking about how she wasn't feeling well, I decided to let it go. A little tenderness in my arms wouldn't hurt.

A moment later, Yanmei said, "I want to go home first. I haven't been home for three days, I miss the baby!"

"I'll think about it. This is fine too! No more memories!" I took out my wallet, counted out 900 NT dollars, and
placed it, along with a small calculator, in her hand. Yanmei lowered her head and thought for a moment, then stammered, "Brother Min!
Could you...could you give me a tip? A hundred or two hundred might not be much for you, but it's...very important to me."

To be honest, if I hadn't had dinner with her last night, I really wouldn't know her monthly food budget!
One or two hundred NT dollars is probably her monthly food budget! I didn't say much more, took out my wallet again, counted the remaining
amount, about 500 NT dollars, and said, "I'll keep 300 NT dollars for airport tax, and the rest is yours! It's only a little over
200 ."

Yanmei probably saw that I still had some NT dollars, and without trying to take advantage, silently accepted it. (Why write this?
We later learned that Xin-ge's girlfriend took NT$2,500 and then asked for an additional NT$1,000. I couldn't agree with that
. In comparison, Yan-mei only took NT$2,200, which was much more reasonable!)

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