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Infidelity - Chapter Nine 

Guan Wen decided to ignore Xiao Yue's emails and calls. Several days passed like this, and Guan Wen grew impatient. He sent Xiao Yue a text message: "I was driving past Fanyu Road just now and it reminded me of things we did together. How are you?" There was no reply. Xiao Yue's caller ID remained blank on his phone screen.
At noon, Guan Wen's subordinate asked, "Boss, don't you have any lunch appointments today?" Guan Wen couldn't answer. Yes, he used to use his lunch break to meet Xiao Yue in secret.
"Manager Guan, shall we go out for dinner together?" It was the head of another department, whose English name was Jenny.
"You go ahead, I have something to take care of."
"It's so hard to get Manager Guan to have dinner with me," Jenny said.
Guan Wen felt a little embarrassed. Jenny was the big boss's favorite, his peer, and a woman; he couldn't let her lose face. So he said, "For you, no job matters. Let's go."
Jenny drove to a quiet restaurant not far from Hongqiao. Guan Wen felt the place was peculiar and familiar. Stepping inside, he realized it was the place where he and Xiao Yue had their first dinner. Under the shade of a tree at the end of the path, Guan Wen kissed Xiao Yue for the first time.
"Manager Guan, I heard the company has a few overseas assignments available. Would you be interested?"
"I'm afraid it won't be my turn." Guan Wen neither confirmed nor denied.
"Manager Guan is considered young and promising in the company. She should have a chance."
"What have you heard?" Guan Wen asked tentatively.
"There's one spot available for a trip to the Middle East. It's better to send a man to that kind of place. The overseas allowance is the highest there."
As Guan Wen left the restaurant, he sent Xiao Yue a text message: "Do you remember the restaurant where we had our first meal together at noon? Xiao Yue, I miss you so much. How can you be so heartless?"
Jenny glanced at him and said, "You seemed a bit distracted during the meeting this morning, constantly looking at your phone. Was something wrong at home?"
"No," Guan Wen said.
Xiao Yue still hadn't replied. Guan Wen pondered the overseas assignment all afternoon and immediately told his wife when he got home.
"No way, no way." His wife objected immediately. "Other people are sent abroad to America or Europe, why would you go to a place like that? I won't go with you. Who can stand wearing a mask every day?"
“There are many business opportunities there; it’s a virgin territory for development,” Guan Wendao said.
“Then you go alone,” his wife said firmly. After a moment, her voice softened, “It will be hard on me and the children. Who will take care of us if you leave? My health isn’t good either. I haven’t had a good life since we got married. Three years ago, you had someone else, and I…”
"Alright, alright, you keep bringing up the past. Fine, I'll do as you say." And that was the end of the matter of the overseas assignment.
Guan Wen hadn't been in contact with Xiao Yue for two weeks. His heart pounded with a mix of anticipation, disappointment, despair, and finally, helplessness. He was distracted during lunch with colleagues, and several nights he'd woken up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, unable to fall back asleep. During the day, he was listless, like a toy soldier who'd forgotten to be wound up, completely lacking his former carefree spirit.
That weekend at home, my wife said, "You don't seem to be paying enough attention to things at home lately."
"What's wrong?" Guan Wen had no idea what his wife was talking about.
“For example, if you had seen that mop hanging on the balcony before, you would have definitely brought it in. Today, you saw it, but you didn’t react,” his wife said.
Guan Wen was already annoyed, and his wife's words made him even more furious. He blurted out, "Aren't you family? You can't just watch, can you? You can't accept it!"
"Guan Wen!" his wife called out sharply.
What followed was mostly a barrage of questions from his wife, who seemed to be bringing up the events of three years ago again. At some point, Guan Wen stormed out the door. He started his Nissan and drove aimlessly.
The next day, Guan Wen went to the office and asked Jenny if the spot for the Middle East was still available.
“If you’re willing to go, that should definitely be your first choice,” Jenny said.
Guan Wen really wanted to tell her that he had made a decision last night to apply to go to the Middle East, but he swallowed the words back down.
Guan Wen and Xiao Yue haven't been in contact for three weeks. Every time Guan Wen calls, Xiao Yue doesn't answer. Guan Wen even considered going to her company to talk things out in person. Even if they've broken up, they should meet to settle things. Right now, it's like a symphony reaching its climax, only to have the power cut off and the music abruptly stop, leaving Guan Wen feeling unsettled.
That day, he thought about it and decided to try again. He went to the company conference room, picked up the phone, and dialed Xiao Yue's number. Xiao Yue happened to be home that day. Her daughter was sick with a fever, so she decided to work from home. The phone rang, and seeing "unknown" on the caller ID, she answered.
"It's me." Guan Wen's voice was a little hoarse, lacking its usual magnetism. "I know you told me not to contact you, please don't hang up, I just want to say a few words."
Xiao Yue didn't move, remaining silent.
“Xiaoyue, I haven’t cared about you enough. I was wrong. I didn’t do a good enough job.” There was still silence on the other end of the phone. Guan Wen continued, “I respect your opinion. We will not continue this relationship. However, I hope we can still be ordinary friends. We can have meals and chat occasionally. Now that I can’t see you anymore, I find it hard to accept. I didn’t expect to care about you this much. I’m not like my usual self anymore. I’ve never been like this before.”
As Guan Wen spoke, he grew increasingly melancholic. He had always considered himself capable of easily moving on from relationships, but he never expected that Xiao Yue's breakup would leave him so distraught. Xiao Yue didn't reply, but Guan Wen seemed to sense her melancholy and inner turmoil from the soft breathing coming through the phone.
"Xiaoyue, actually, we won't have many more days to meet. I might be sent to the Middle East by my company. Although it's a tough place, it's also a good place to escape."
Xiao Yue was startled. In just a few weeks, he'd gotten into such a big mess. What had happened? His pleading voice sounded pitiful. Had she gone too far with this grown man? Could they still be friends?
Guan Wen asked, "Are you alright? How's work going these past few weeks? How's your daughter?"
Xiao Yue breathed a sigh of relief, as if she had been holding her breath the whole time. "My daughter had a slight fever. After taking the medicine, it went down."
Hearing Xiao Yue's voice, Guan Wen's heart immediately calmed down: "Is there anything I can help you with? I can come right away."
"No, no. I can handle it. She'll be fine tomorrow," Xiao Yue quickly stopped her.
"Take good care of yourself and stay healthy," Guan Wen said gently. "If you get sick, I'll be heartbroken."
Xiao Yue couldn't stand Guan Wen's words; they made her weak. She composed herself and said, "Thank you for your concern. Let's talk about it tomorrow."
Guan Wen wisely hung up the phone.
On his way home, Guan Wen turned on the radio in his car, and the currently popular song "Mice Love Rice" was playing.
I love you, I love you like a mouse loves rice. Guan Wen hummed along to the music, thinking to himself, "Who wrote these lyrics? A mouse loves rice? It would be starving if it didn't eat for a day." Guan Wen smiled.

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