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My daughter's compensated dating - Chapter Sixty-Two 

'Xueyi is masturbating…'
When I realized what my daughter was doing, I felt a deep sense of remorse. Masturbation is a person's most private space, and even parents should not infringe upon it. If Xueyi knew about this state of mind, it would undoubtedly be a double blow that she couldn't bear.
I had to leave! I knew I had to leave immediately; I couldn't let Xueyi know what her father had seen. But the more I tried to leave discreetly, the more my legs trembled, and I dared not lift them. The night was very quiet; even the slightest sound was enough for the girl to notice someone outside the door. I was even afraid that she had already heard my footsteps as I passed through the small corridor.
I dared not look into the room again, and silently waited for an opportunity outside the door. Xueyi's moans were as melodious as a nightingale's song, but I had no mood to appreciate this beautiful song, only ashamed of my actions in hurting my daughter time and time again.
"Ah...ah ah...um...um um...ah! Ah ah..."
This wasn't the first time I'd witnessed Xueyi doing this most private thing; I'd seen her masturbate in videos before. The shape of her pink little pussy is still vivid in my mind. It was the most shameful thing for a father to do—watching my daughter's genitals ejaculate, completely treating her as a tool for release.
I hate my selfishness, I hate my cowardice, and what's even more pathetic is that even though this is the ugliest thing, my penis started to get erect under the influence of the moans, and I actually felt excited. I knew that this would ruin my daughter, but I still continued to indulge in it regardless of the consequences.
"Mmm...mmm...mmm...woo...woo...mmm..."
Xueyi's moans grew more intense, her pitiful and melodious voices escaping her throat. In the quiet environment, apart from her cries, one could almost hear the churning of water inside her panties. Slender fingers inserted themselves into the tender flesh, teasing and rubbing her clitoris with their pads, making the pearly bud shine with a translucent luster from its engorgement.
The imagined scene in my mind captivated me, and my desire grew stronger with each moan I heard. My penis reached its peak hardness, and I felt uncomfortable because I couldn't soothe it. However, I knew I had to suppress it. I silently waited for the right moment, and when Xueyi's cries began to get out of control and she was in the most exciting moment before orgasm, I tiptoed back to the room.
"Ah...ah ah...ah! Ah! Ah ah..."
I find it hard to imagine that a young girl's desires could be so intense. I remember when we first moved into this house, my wife and I seriously considered whether our nighttime sexual activity would be heard by our growing daughter. We even conducted an experiment to make sure that the sound wouldn't reach her ears if we closed the door, but even so, my wife never moaned.
In this situation, did Xueyi consider whether the open door might compromise her privacy, or was she too preoccupied with desire to think about such things? In any case, venting pent-up frustration through physical relaxation is not a bad thing. Compared to the madness at the party, everyone would prefer their daughter to release her desires through self-comfort.
I finally made it back to the bedroom, but my erect penis still hadn't calmed down. I sighed bitterly, "No, that's my daughter. If I treat her as a sex object during her most difficult time, I'd be worse than an animal. I've already made too many mistakes; I can't repeat them."
He forcibly suppressed his desires, yet he couldn't erase the memories of his past debauchery with his daughter from his mind. Like a forbidden fruit entwined by a venomous snake, they sprouted and grew in his heart.
That night I dared not step out of the room again. Surprisingly, when I woke up the next morning, I saw Xueyi eating a sandwich in the living room.
“Xueyi…” I froze for a moment. It was an ordinary scene in the past, but today it became the most surprising thing for me.
"Dad made you your morning sandwich too, hurry up and eat." Xueyi said calmly. I was overjoyed and sat down at the table, grabbing the ham sandwich my daughter had made: "Okay, I'll eat it right away, Dad will eat it right away!"
The simple breakfast brought tears to my eyes. After taking a bite, I asked my daughter hesitantly, "Are you feeling any better?"
Xueyi replied calmly, "That's about it. I've been skipping classes for so many days, I'm almost unable to catch up."
Hearing that my daughter was going to school, I was overjoyed. Xueyi looked a little guilty and said, "My mother has done so much for me, and I don't want to keep her worrying."
"That's great! Xiujuan will be so touched to hear that." I said happily. Xueyi shook her head and said, "I caused all this. It's already good enough that you've forgiven me. There's no need to be touched."
"Silly child, everyone makes mistakes. The most important thing is to realize your mistakes and turn back from the wrong path," I comforted her. Xueyi blushed, finished her portion, went into her room, picked up her schoolbag, and went to school: "Dad, I'm going out now."
"Be careful on the road. Dad will come home early tonight and cook you a big dinner."
"Please don't waste Earth's resources. The food my daughter and I cook is inedible. Don't touch the stove again until Mom comes back," Xueyi instructed me.
I was in a wonderful mood that day, as if I had found hope amidst the fog. Xueyi was alright; Xiaolian was right, our daughter was stronger than we had imagined.
Xueyi went straight home after get off work and sat on the sofa eating potato chips and watching TV, just like before. She felt a joy as if she had been away from Guangjing for only ten days.
"Let's eat out. What would you like to eat?"
"Anything is fine, but it's Dad's treat."
"Which meal wasn't paid for by Dad?"
Ordinary days are the best days. Having dinner with my daughter, even a simple meal is incredibly delicious, far surpassing any delicacy. After a hearty meal, we went to the convenience store to buy ice cream for dessert. Picking and choosing from various options, I was so happy that I, a middle-aged woman, didn't care about gaining a few more pounds and ate two large cups in one go.
"Everyone says you can't eat too many of these sweets, and now my belly is growing." I complained, touching my belly. My daughter laughed and said, "Who told you to be picky? You can eat them all. Daddy isn't fat, I think I'm just right."
"Just right? The doctor said it's too high."
"Don't set your standards too high. For a middle-aged man, Dad is quite handsome. It wouldn't be impolite to walk together with him," Xueyi said as we walked. I was amused and said, "You're being so filial today, knowing how to flatter your father."
Xueyi gave me a sweet talk, saying, "I'm not flattering you. Even Weiwei said she envies me for having a handsome dad."
I nodded in satisfaction: "Weiwei certainly has good taste."
Xueyi made a face and said, "Oh, you really believe that? I was just teasing you. Weiwei shakes her head and sighs whenever she mentions Uncle Ma."
I said, annoyed, "Hey, don't go from heaven to hell all at once. Do you want to kill your dad?"
Suddenly, my daughter teased me, "By the way, it's rare for Mom to be around to keep an eye on things. What if Dad takes the opportunity to go find his old flame? We're father and daughter, so I'll keep your secret."
I defended myself, saying, "There's no such thing as an old lover. Don't wrong Dad."
"Haha, really? Okay, seeing how lonely Daddy is, let Xueyi be your concubine to keep you company!"
After I finished speaking, my daughter laughed and wrapped her arm around mine. I said shyly, "Stop teasing your dad. She's clearly my daughter, not some concubine."
Xueyi realized she had misspoke and quickly corrected herself, "That's not what I meant. I meant a wife who is very young, not that kind of concubine."
"Isn't this the same!"
The father and daughter's playful banter was a joy in itself. Seeing that Xueyi had completely reverted to her usual mischievous self, I felt a great sense of relief. Back home, I wanted to immediately report the good news of my daughter's improved condition to Xiujuan, but I didn't want her to misunderstand and think that Xueyi's improved mood was due to her absence. Women's emotions are complex, and such matters require careful handling.
"Phew, the rain has stopped and the sky is clear. I can finally get a good night's sleep." This was the happiest night I'd had since I found out that Xueyi was an escort. Although there were still many things I didn't know, I was already more than halfway to solving the problem of how Xueyi would stop doing it after her family found out.
If I had known this would happen, I would have confronted my daughter more than three months ago, and all the trouble that followed would not have occurred.
坦诚才是解决问题的唯一方法,装神弄鬼,最终只会作茧自缚。
安心地爬上睡床,就在一切看似安宁之际,房间的门突然被轻轻推开,是手上抱着软枕的雪怡。
“什么事,还不睡吗?”我惊奇问道。女儿调皮地伸伸舌头说:“嘻,不是说了今晚陪爸爸的吗?我可是很认真啊。”
“喂,我认输了,拜托别闹好吗?”我无奈道。
“有什么不妥?我是亲女儿,难道怕你会搞我吗?咦~爸爸你的想法很恶耶。”
雪怡作个厌恶表情,不理我的把枕头放在旁边然后钻入被窝。女儿刁蛮,我这个父亲总是没她办法。还幸我和妻子的主人床算是宽敞,一人一边也不会有太多的身体接触,雪怡乖巧的说了一声“爸爸晚安”,便惯性地蜷缩身体侧向另一边睡。
“晚安,雪怡。”
父女同床,只要心无杂念是不会有问题。雪怡睡姿一向不佳,总爱把被单蹬下床,睡在旁边,晚上也可以给她盖被。
对女儿来说,我感觉她是从来没有把我当成异性看待,父亲就是父亲,是一种很特殊的关系,没有性别的拘泥。
得到女儿信赖当然值得喜悦,可是当想起曾多次把她视作性的对象,那惭愧感便更觉强烈。要完全不把雪怡视作一个女人吗?我自问是没有信心能够做到。
“呼…呼…”很快旁边响起均衡的鼻息,我放心下来,睡得好至少表示没有大烦恼,我想雪怡是完全克服了被发现援交的打击,回复昔日那个开朗女孩。
精神得以放松,我也收拾心情好好休息,希望做个跟女儿妻子温馨过日的香甜美梦。然而共枕的房间静了半晌,在我也渐渐进入梦乡,意识开始朦胧之际,身边响起彷佛抑压着的微弱声线。
“嗯…嗯嗯…嗯嗯……”
那有点熟悉的声调使我心神一晃,像是有点不相信的缓缓张开眼睛,微亮的床灯光线映照着身边的女儿。只见她额角略显湿润,双眼闭起,半张的小嘴悠悠发出哼哼唧唧的呻吟叫声。
“嗯…嗯…嗯…嗯嗯……”
那声音很小,即使睡在旁边,也比一般的打鼻鼾为安静。但有过昨天这微弱声音却有着无比魔力,我无法自制地把目光往下推移。女儿换成仰躺姿势,虽然因为给被单盖着看不到实际,但从身体蠕动和其鼻音,谁也知道雪怡是在自慰,但她明明已经入睡,即是在做着…春梦?
年少精力旺盛的时代,我跟大部份少年人一样有过梦遗的经验,好几次晚上做了春情跃动的淫梦,早上起来时便发觉内裤中一滩令人难为情的精液。我一直以为这种生理现象是只会发生於男性身上,没想到原来女性在入睡后也会有性冲动。
“嗯嗯…呜…呜呜……”
虽然是在睡梦中,但雪怡眉头紧绷,表情肉紧,连呻吟声也渐见高昂。这样近距离目睹女儿的性反应我又是尴尬,又是心痒。我心知需要回避,但近在咫尺无路可逃,只有侧身到另一边,装作睡着没有听到。
“嗯…嗯嗯…啊…嗯啊……”
美如天籁的靡靡之音,勾人心韵。愈是想去躲避,心里的欲念便愈被撩起,有多么想亲眼欣赏女儿陶醉时的美态。终於无比欲望战胜了理智,我再次翻过身来朝向雪怡方向,看着那被掩盖在绵被里的娇美身体,心房有如虫爬蚁咬般痕痒难耐。
‘雪怡睡着了,没事的,只看一眼便好…’
慢慢掀开身上的被单,女儿动人的娇躯出现眼前,睡裙裙摆跟昨天一样掀至小腹位置,右手插在被压下半截的内裤中有规律地搓揉性器,几条乌黑亮泽的毛发调皮地自粉色的内裤边沿冒出,在白滑得彷似没有毛孔的肌肤上份外夺目。
“骨碌?”我猛吞一口唾液,本打算只看一眼的眼球,目不转睛地盯着这诱惑无比的情境。从这个距离连把内裤撑起的指节亦看得清楚,我的心跟随按摩小屄的节奏一起跳动。快要喷出火来的眼彷佛看穿那一块薄薄的布料,和指头一起搅动着女儿的屄口。
“滋滋?滋滋?”阴唇张合下唧出的水声,彷佛带着女性发情气味刺激着我的官能,肉棒当然是无可避免地迅速勃起。强行被抑压的理性倾刻粉碎,为了可以更清楚窥探当中秘密,甚至不自觉地弓起身子靠近下体,粗重的呼吸自鼻头喷出,像贪婪的观众,渴望欣赏到女神的全部。
‘看到了?好香?是雪怡的小屄?’
可是当那柔和节奏忽然停下,我顿觉再次被撕开面具的恐怖涌上心头。朝向女儿方向望去,本来闭起的双眼不知何时张开,是那惊讶中带着震颤的目光。
“雪怡?”
没有人可以清楚说明,当一个家长看到其子女进行自渎时,到底是父亲还是女儿更难堪,我只可以肯定的说,那是没有一个人想要面对的光境。
雪怡的脸颊变得很红,在微暗的灯光中呈现紫色。我相较被抓着当场的羞愧,更多的是后悔自责,一而再地警告自己不要再伤害女儿,却总把她逼到没有退路。
“对不起?雪怡?”在再也想不出话来的时候我喉头打震地向女儿道歉,害怕触动她好不容易恢复的情绪。雪怡没有答话,只无言地咬着下唇,牢牢盯着我,然后两手颤抖地提起我的手,放入自己的内裤之内。
“雪怡…”
我完全不敢相信雪怡会有这样的举动,也无法理解她的用意,只是当手指触碰到娇嫩阴阜上那顺滑如细丝的阴毛时,我是再没思考余地,脑袋只余一片空白。我们都知道这是一对父女不能做的事,但我和雪怡都没有制止,她提着我的手继续向下伸展,逐渐指头感到一阵带着潮湿的温热。即使没有直接触碰,那热意仍像燃烧的火炎般炽热着我的官感。
是女儿的小屄…
那毫无疑问不是一个父亲应该触碰的部位,不,正因为是她的父亲,更是比谁都不可触碰的部位。但试问世间上有哪个男人能通过这种试炼?这根本是不可能的任务,当一个最美丽的器官就在面前,谁可以抵抗她的魔力?我的中指不能自控地慢慢向内弯曲,徐徐落在阴户中央的凹陷处上。
碰到了!是直接摸在雪怡的屄口上!
“啊!”真正接触的一秒,我和雪怡同时像被电流通过的响了一声,是超越了底线的接触。指肚的外皮神经告诉我那是一条隐闭肉缝,如重叠的花瓣紧紧闭起,感觉柔软娇嫩,纤巧精致。女人的阴唇比身体的任何一寸肌肤都要细腻,那独有的触感无可比拟,亦没法以任何一种事物来形容。
我闭起眼睛亦能想起这个纯美性器的形状,那曾朝思暮想的小屄终於得碰,心里万分激动。望向雪怡她双目微闭,脸泛红晕,不知道是羞涩还是享受。我心里一动,指头试探性地往上勾入,那本来闭起的双唇微微向两边裂开,轻轻一挖,挑出一潭滑溜爱液。
很湿,是湿得不成样子,显示女儿正处於极度兴奋的状态。我受到暖液滋润,有一种渴望让雪怡得到满足的鼓舞,胆子也大起来再向上一挖。这下比刚才更深,把两片肉唇扒开直接挖在屄壁上,一江泛滥的春水即时沿着指节潺潺流出。
“啊哦!”
这一挖对雪怡是相当受用,她整个人猛地一颤,俏脸仰起,流露出欣悦神色。
我看到女儿这个享受表情心也醉了,像是要带给她更大快乐的再连挖几下,指头在缝上滑过,雪怡登时浑身发软地向前倾倒,双手靠按在我的肩膀上。
“呜…”
爱液横流,我的手这时湿如从水里捞起,给雪怡喘定几口气,柔声问道:“爸爸有没…弄痛你?”
女儿无力地抬起头,羞涩的摇了两下,眼里呈着春情荡漾,娇嗲的道:“爸…我…好敏感…再给我…好吗…”
“好…”到这时候我是再没顾虑,一心只想满足女儿,伸出左手环抱着雪怡乏力的纤腰,插在屄口的指头缓缓向里面推进。
“唧…唧…”
我感觉小屄虽湿,阴道还是相当紧致,跟小莲的层峦叠章相比没有那么多皱褶,但就丰腴饱满,压迫感特别强烈。而雪怡被手指插入,亦像快感从阴道里蔓延的不自觉僵硬起来,犹如一把被拉开的弓变得绷紧。
“啊…啊啊…”
如果不是在派对上亲眼目睹女儿的淫乱,我一定不会相信这样密不透风的小屄能够容纳男人那庞然巨物。我甚至觉得自己的女儿仍是冰清玉洁的处女,当日看到的只是一场虚假的梦境。
“嗄…嗄嗄……”直到中指全根尽没,雪怡从绷紧中喘起一口充实的叹息。我被女儿最紧密的地方包围,也是有种说不出的暖意。舒服吗?雪怡,爸爸这样令你舒服吗?我很想询问雪怡,然而从她目眩神驰的眼神已经什么也不必再问,父女间的心彷佛连成一线。透过插在雪怡身体的指节,我可以得到她的相同感受。
那是平静如水的一刻,但我知道女儿是需要另一种快感,是那热浪狂潮的巨大快感。在雪怡气息变得均衡后我开始把手指向后退,大量爱液一同倾吐而出。抽至一半再次全部插入,连续重覆几次,变成有规律的抽插动作。
“滋滋…滋滋…滋滋…滋滋…”
肉壁受到磨擦的快感使雪怡的喘气加速,女儿张开小嘴哼出美妙音符,腰肢亦迎着我的动作慢慢挺起。这不是我首次听到雪怡呻吟,却是第一次因为自己的爱抚而呻吟。手指虽然不会跟肉棒一样从抽插间获得快感,但内心所感到那份喜悦,却是比任何一次的真正做爱都要真实。
“啊…啊啊……啊啊……啊啊……”
雪怡在叫,身为父亲的我正用手指在她的阴道驰骋而令她得到快感,我在替她手淫,以一个男人的身分,让女儿得到作为女人的快乐。
“滋滋…滋滋…滋滋…滋滋…”
肉壁并没有因为激烈动作而变得松弛,每一下的推进仍是觉得紧窄。伴随着抽动挥洒的爱液令一直没有脱下的内裤泥泞一片,被我掌心压着的阴毛亦湿得像海里的芳草,散发出浓郁的淫靡气味。
“啊…啊啊……”
雪怡的身体在我的臂弯里蠕动,没有佩带胸罩的乳房在睡裙上耸立两个明显的突起。我没有抚摸女儿的胸脯,也不敢抚摸她的胸脯。没有雪怡的许可,我是不敢触碰她身上别个部位。我没打算要淫辱她,只希望满足她,自己的欲望并不重要,只要女儿快乐,我便一同快乐。
“啊…啊哦……啊哦……哦哦……”
雪怡的浪叫愈发提高,我知道是要为她带来第二波浪潮的时候,一直按在阴阜上没有活动的姆指屈起,准确地落在凹陷的中央位置。被手指扒开的屄口早把隐蔽在包皮里的阴蒂出卖,我毋须以肉眼确认,已经找到那比阴道更敏感的器官。
“啊!”
姆指压在花蕊的同时,雪怡发出一声比之前都要夸张的喊叫,充实的触感显示红豆早已勃起,我一面没有停下中指的抽插,一面把姆指加入按摩,这把雪怡打成岸上鱼儿,在我怀里跳过不停。
“啊!啊!啊啊!爸别要!这样太刺激!啊…啊啊…好…好舒服……”
布满神经末梢的器官受到直接侵袭,那酥麻快感是连绵不绝,雪怡表情迷醉,畅快地享受被冲击的快感。但我知道这是还未足够,女儿对性的渴求是比我认识的都要强烈。我没有停下来立刻进行第三波,本来单向插入的中指以翻旋动作在屄里搅拌,无名指压在会阴把屄口张大,好让食指亦有空间插入阴道。
“噢!啊啊!啊啊啊!”
三根手指的同时进攻把雪怡的快感一口气提升,我的动作已经不是抽插,而是向四方八面探索的在屄里挖掘。我不奢望第一次接触雪怡小屄便找到她的g点,仍是尽力找寻令她快感更上一层的方法。在幽壁里如芭蕾舞般回旋之间,强烈的快感不断高涨,忽然一处令女儿强烈打震,小屄的爱液在一瞬间大量分泌,是有如潮涌的注满阴道。
“啊!啊啊!这里别要!这里不可以!啊!啊!!”
我兴奋不已,朝着那个位置继续发掘,“噗滋!噗滋!”的水声响过不停。难以遏抑的痛快冲击把雪怡抛进大海,被巨大海啸所吞噬,那是一种享受,也是一种折磨。女儿雪藕般的修长小腿难过地踢过不停,呻吟变成哭泣,双手在乱拍乱打,终於一下落在我的裤档,抓紧那涨硬的肉棒,像是狂潮下的把手牢牢握住不放。
“爸爸不要!人家快受不了!啊!哦!真的受不了!”
看一个女孩高潮和令一个女孩高潮从来是两回事,我的心情跟雪怡一同高扬,房间里充满着女儿发情的骚香,热血沸腾下一直没有停过的手指丝毫不觉疲惫,继续把源源不绝的快感输进女儿身体。这时候我把挖弄的节奏变回抽插,以高速磨擦肉壁来令快感突破高峰。
“啾啾!啾啾!啾啾!啾啾!”
指头抽插的水声响遍睡房,雪怡颤抖的呻吟销魂入骨,终於注入过量电流的容器到了承受不了的界限,轰隆一声器皿爆破,贮存已久的澎湃快感汹涌而出。
“啊!停!要去了!雪怡要去了!爸爸!!”
猛烈的爆发把绷紧的神经碰然轰碎,雪怡高声尖叫,白晢的身躯由颤抖变成抽搐,虽然和派对上以巨大肉棒征服有所不及,但总算达到了某个高潮。娇躯一连挺动了几下,尽情地把快感痛快泄出。
“啊!啊啊!!”
太美了,我的女儿实在太美了。
畅快淋漓后,雪怡软瘫软地倒在我胸前,插在屄里的指头缓缓拔出,晶莹的淫水被搅拌成半透明白液。我看着手上的一片粘稠,仍未能相信一分钟前所做的事。
这不是眼泪,不是鼻涕,也不是口水,是一个女孩子身体最私人的液体,是比鲜血更不想被父亲看到的液体。
“嗄…”我呼一口气,没有惊动女儿,只安静地让她休息。过一会儿,忽然伏在怀里的身体微微抖颤,一阵温暖的热流沾湿我的睡衣:“呜…呜呜……”
女儿在哭,我没想到她会突然落泪,吃惊问道:“雪怡,怎么了?”
雪怡抬起头来,那迷乱目光变得清醒,泪流满脸道:“对不起…爸爸…”
“对不起?怎么要向我道歉?”我不知所措,女儿咽呜着说:“你是我爸,我却和你做这种事,我实在太不要脸。”
“这…这不是你的责任…刚、刚才爸爸也是情不自禁…”
雪怡摇着头哀伤道:“不,我是故意引诱你的…昨天我知道你看到我自慰…当时我很羞耻…但同时却觉得很兴奋…很想给爸爸你摸…我控制不了自己…虽然知道不可以…今天还是…做出这种事…”
“雪怡…”我错愕不已,雪怡继续哭着说:“我是想男人想得疯了…连亲爸爸也这样…你一定看不起我吧……”
“不!雪怡,爸爸怎会看不起你?”
“那天的话你都听到了…我就是一个这样不知羞耻的女孩…玩疯了的时候甚至求男人跟我上床…谁也不会看得起这种女人…”
“雪怡,你别这样说,爸爸从没有这个意思!”
“你有的,我知道你和妈妈都很伤心,伤心有一个这样的女儿。从开始和男人上床一刻我便放弃了自己,不再管全部人怎样看我,唯独是不想你们失望,我一直戴着假面具,一直装作乖女孩,但面具始终还是被摘下来了,试问我以后怎样面对你们?”雪怡泣不成声道:“爸,我很想死,你可以给我死吗?”
“死…雪怡你怎么乱说话?你不是答应过爸爸不会胡思乱想的吗?事情已经解决了,爸妈没放在心里,你是我俩唯一的希望,你死了爸妈以后的日子怎样过?这种事连想也不能想!”听到雪怡有寻死念头我惊慌失措。雪怡滴着泪说:“但我真的不知道以后可以怎样面对你们,不知道以后可以怎样叫你们一声爸爸妈妈…你说我可以怎样做…你教我可以怎样做…爸爸…”
“雪怡…”女儿的话使我明白她的伤口是从未平复,我以最恶劣的方法摘下她隐瞒我俩的面具,这等同在她心坎上狠狠插上一刀。
“我很贱,我是一个不知羞耻的女孩,我没有面目做你们的女儿…”
我的心很乱,一时间想不出安慰雪怡的话,被父亲发现援交秘密从而对妓女身份的自卑,自我嫌恶以及对父母的愧疚,加上被抛弃的恐惧使女儿陷入崩溃边沿。
我居然相信这样大的打击可以自行克服,我的想法是太天真了。
“雪怡,你别多想,我们是你的父母,即使你做过什么我们都会原谅你。”我尽力劝导女儿,但始终无法平伏她的情绪。
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness… Every time I said I was going to play bridge with my classmates, I was entertaining clients. Every night I said I was going to my classmates’ houses to study, I was sleeping with men. I’ve even had sex with more than one man, wagging my tail and begging for their affection like the lowest bitch.”
Xueyi cried terribly, revealing without reservation the wrong things she had done. I knew her guilt was immense, so immense that she couldn't forgive herself. My heart ached, and I felt immense self-reproach. My sins were no less than my daughter's. If she needed to take responsibility for her actions, then I also needed to take responsibility for mine.
I helped my daughter up by the shoulder and comforted her, saying, "Xue...Xueyi...don't blame yourself too much. Listen to me, the most shameless person in this family isn't you...Dad is...a hundred times more shameless than you..."
To lessen my daughter's guilt, or perhaps to lessen my own, I confessed to Xueyi what I had done during this period. What I had done during this time was also a heavy burden for me. My daughter cried and said, "Dad, you are a man. Even if you go to prostitutes or have fun, you will be forgiven. But I am selling my body. These are two completely different things."
"What if the woman I was seeing was my own daughter?" I mustered the greatest courage I could muster and said, "You deceived your parents, and I deceived my daughter as well."
Hearing this, Xueyi froze, unable to understand what I meant. I looked at my daughter without wavering and said frankly, "Didn't you meet a client named... Uncle a while ago?"
My daughter paused for a moment after hearing the name, and I hesitated for a moment before gritting my teeth and saying, "I am Uncle."
Xueyi's eyes widened in disbelief, her expression even more shocked than when she removed my mask a week ago.
"Is Dad... Uncle...?"
A moment of impulsive words drove my relationship with my daughter to a point of no return.

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