Green Memories of Human Romance

The green memories of human romance
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My family has been in the military since my grandfather's generation. I'm not bragging, from the War of Resistance Against Japan to the Sino-Vietnamese War, there's no war our Jin family hasn't participated in. Not only are there combat heroes, but even two are revolutionary martyrs.
Perhaps it's because of heredity, or perhaps it's because I grew up in a military compound, but my yearning for the military is exceptionally strong. So, after attending university for a few months, I disregarded my father's strong... Despite strong opposition, I took a leave of absence from school and then went to the Armed Forces Department alone. Although the conscription period had long passed, the people at the Armed Forces Department looked at my resume and made me fill out a form without saying a word. They also gave me a set of winter training clothes, rubber shoes, a quilt, backpack straps, and other miscellaneous items
. When my father saw what I had in my hands, he, having served in the military for half his life, naturally knew what was going on. But he was surprisingly calm. He just silently cooked a table full of dishes for me and even brought out a bottle of his treasured good wine.
During the meal, my father was still speechless. Only when we were almost finished eating did he ask me, "Are you really decided?" I nodded. My father sighed and said that the men of the Jin family were destined to wear military uniforms. He had thought that my son, having studied art, wouldn't have to join the army, but it turned out he was still the same.
So, I became a soldier. The day I left Shenyang, it was raining. My friends all came to see me off. Sitting in the train carriage, I stared silently out the window. Lao Tong pressed his face against the window and shouted, "Write us a letter!" I nodded. Kai Zi took out a game console, pressed it against the window, and shouted with tears in his eyes, "Da Jun, come back when you're on leave, let's play Thunder and Lightning together!" Hearing this, I couldn't help but cry.
The train rattled and banged, taking me somewhere I didn't know. Dizzy and disoriented, I was then hauled onto a tarpaulin-covered truck, turning left and right, still not knowing where I was. It wasn't until I got off the truck carrying a quilt and a washbasin that I realized I had been taken to a ravine. Although I was somewhat prepared, I was still completely stunned.
Then began three months of basic training. I had just turned eighteen that year.
How much discipline could you expect from a teenager studying music? During my time in basic training, I suffered a lot because of this.
There's an old saying in the army: "New recruits fear the whistle, old soldiers fear the bugle." In just two days, I experienced the power of the whistle firsthand. Four whistles were blown in one night
, resulting in four emergency assemblies. We new recruits were so eager to pack our bags and sleep in our clothes, but discipline absolutely forbade that. The suffering was immense. It's true that people are incredibly adaptable. About one-fifth of our batch were from urban areas. This group was a mixed bag; supposedly, there were sons of CEOs and grandsons of high-ranking officials, but we didn't know who
they were. Initially, everyone, including myself, was incredibly arrogant and pampered. One person even took five minutes to run the 400-meter obstacle course. But under the sergeants' harsh scolding and stern training, within a week, they all looked like soldiers, understanding discipline. Their performance improved dramatically. Again, the fastest runner in the 400-meter obstacle course could run under one minute and ten seconds. This
was because I had grown up with the members of the August 1st team trained by my father. During training, I had a relatively good physical foundation, so I could handle the physical labor quite easily, and my results were quite good. According to the squad leader, some of my scores in certain subjects were among the best in the regiment
. What I found most painful was standing at attention. Standing for hours under the scorching sun, I couldn't move an inch. The squad leader would constantly walk around behind me, occasionally kneeing me in the back of my legs. If I lost focus even slightly and didn't keep my legs straight, this would make me squat down. I was even worse off because I often switched legs to relax while being lazy, so the squad leader's knees made me kneel on the ground several times. Once that happened, I couldn't run two hundred push-ups. At
the beginning, I did the push-ups with all my might, but by mealtime, I couldn't even hold a rice spoon. But later I became more resilient, and I could do four hundred, let alone two hundred. I still slacked off as usual, and the squad leader couldn't do anything about it. Near the end of basic training, something happened to me. At that time, it was my turn to help in the mess hall. The mess hall leader, Old Wang, was from Fushun, which, in military parlance, meant we were practically fellow townsmen. Plus, he had just become a volunteer soldier that year and was in a very good mood, so he took great care of me. He often asked our squad leader to take me to his place for a drink in the evenings. As a new recruit, I naturally didn't dare drink alcohol, but I did eat meat—I'd been craving meat since basic training.
One day, people from the division came to inspect our regiment, and the regiment asked the mess hall to prepare. Old Wang told our squad leader that the mess hall was busy and pulled me aside... He went to help out, and after a long day, he gave me some money to go to a town near the garrison to buy some things for the evening's banquet. So I rode his old, beat-up bicycle, pedaling along the bumpy road. After buying the things, I was about to head back to the regiment when I suddenly noticed a large crowd gathered ahead. Being young and curious, I went to take a look. What I saw instantly filled me with rage. It turned out that a few shady young men were harassing two female soldiers wearing military trousers and civilian clothes. Why was I so sure they were female soldiers? Because they were both wearing the black rubber boots issued by the army. These weren't sold locally, and even if they were, girls wouldn't wear them because they were too ugly.
The two female soldiers were almost crying, but they were surrounded by several burly thugs and couldn't get away. Without saying a word, I barged in, grabbed the two female soldiers, and pulled them away—I didn't want to fight with the local people; discipline wouldn't allow it, but would those thugs, who had been humiliated, let us go? I hadn't taken two steps when I was blocked. A man in his early thirties shoved my head hard, causing me to stumble and even have my combat cap pulled off.
I endured it, pulling the female soldier along as we continued to walk away. The man came up and shoved me again, this time cursing, "You stinking soldier, get the hell out of here!"
I still endured it, picked up my combat cap, put it on, and said to the man, "Brother, you can hit me, but don't harass them. They're soldiers."
The guy laughed, "Soldiers? So what if they're soldiers? I've never had my hands on a female soldier before. Come on, little soldier, let your brother see if your breasts and butts are the same as ours..."
I was furious, completely enraged. Nearly three months of basic training had not only initially molded me into a soldier but also instilled in me an extremely strong sense of honor. Insults are fine, but insulting soldiers is something I can't tolerate.
So I retaliated, slapping the guy hard across the face, silencing his next words. Then I got another hard blow to the head—I don't know if it was a brick or something, but I'm sure it was a brick, because after I fell to the ground, I grabbed one and got up to start swinging it at the group. If I'd taken that blow to the head now, I'd probably be paralyzed at least if not dead, but at the time I was stunned and nothing happened. I didn't even have a mild concussion or anything, just a little blood,
but that little blood still made me go berserk. According to Xiaodan—one of the female soldiers, and one of the female protagonists in this story. Xiaodan later said that I was like a madwoman at the time, absolutely ruthless, but very swift. A few bricks and those guys were lying on the street bleeding from their heads, fighting with a methodical approach, completely like someone who had been trained. Don't underestimate her just because she's a female soldier; she has some eyesight, and at the very least, she's trained in military boxing. But heaven knows what kind of training I received; it was purely impulsive.
After the fight, I calmly flagged down a three-wheeled motorcycle, helped the two female soldiers onto it, and then packed my things and rode back to the regiment.
Even though I had a head injury, I didn't dare tell anyone. I just put some tissues on the wound and covered it with my hat; thankfully, the bleeding stopped quickly. When I took off my hat at dinner, no one noticed.
When I left the mess hall, I saw a dark-skinned, thin lieutenant standing at the officers' mess hall. He stared at me for a long time after seeing me
, but I didn't think much of it. There were so many officers in the regiment; I knew who he was.
But I saw him again at the regimental headquarters the next day.
I was marching in formation on the parade ground when my squad leader suddenly came over and told me to step out of line, saying the regimental commander wanted to see me. I was stunned: even the company commander hadn't spoken to me, and the regimental commander wanted to see me! What was going on?
As soon as I entered the regimental headquarters, I understood. It turned out that one of the guys I fought yesterday, along with several locals, had come. The guy even had a thick bandage wrapped around his head. I calmed down—I was in the right
, after all. There weren't many local troops, and since I was still wearing an unranked uniform, I quickly found out what was going on. So these guys came to the unit demanding that
they deal with me. My regimental commander listened to my report with a grim face, then glared at the guy with the bandage—commanders in field units always trusted their subordinates implicitly, and even though I was still a new recruit, our regimental commander believed me. After I finished speaking, that guy kept shouting that I was lying. They hadn't harassed any female soldiers or insulted any soldiers. They said I hit someone with my bike and then acted unreasonably, hitting them with a brick.
That guy brought a bunch of so-called witnesses, but I didn't have a single one. Plus, the regiment had to consider the relationship between the military and civilians—one of those people was some kind of secretary. Under their strong demands, the regimental commander reluctantly announced his decision on the spot: one month of confinement, plus a warning.
I know this disciplinary action is against military regulations; dealing with soldiers' issues requires consulting with superiors, and a month-long confinement is definitely against regulations. But I know it's for my own good because those guys had been demanding that the regimental commander and political commissar discharge me from the military, while the regimental commander said this was the highest disciplinary action the regimental headquarters could take, and discharge from the military required the division's approval. Those guys wouldn't let it go, saying they'd report it to the division.
At this point, the black-clad lieutenant, who had been silent the whole time, spoke up: "I'll testify." The regimental
commander was taken aback: "Old Wei?"
"Yes, I was there yesterday, I saw it all. This soldier is right, and..." The lieutenant pointed to the bandaged thug: "I also know the female soldier they were harassing, she's from the division's communications battalion."
The thug immediately jumped up, pointing at the lieutenant and launching into a tirade of insults. The others joined in, even threatening to say they knew a certain high-ranking officer in our army and would have him deal with these scoundrels who were in cahoots. The regimental commander tried to slam his fist on the table several times, but the political commissar held him back. The lieutenant listened quietly to their tirade until finally saying, "You should go back now, or we'll hand this over to the police. By the way
, so-and-so is my comrade-in-arms." The men immediately quieted down; it seemed that so-and-so was a tough character.
The matter was resolved—the regiment paid the guys medical expenses. But my treatment remained the same, except the confinement was reduced from one month to three days. So I stayed in a single room for three days, which was still torture. For those three days, I ate, drank, and relieved myself in that confinement room of less than four square meters. I didn't even have time to
go outside. When I came out of the confinement room, everything was the same as before. In the blink of an eye, it was time for the recruit company assessment. I did well for my squad leader and ranked fifth in military performance. The results of the overall evaluation were not announced yet, but my squad leader said that I didn't even make it into the top thirty - because my housekeeping was a drag. I have never been fond of making my housekeeping neat and tidy like a brick. I have never folded my quilt since I was a child.
Then came the rank insignia. On the day we received our cap badges and insignia, about a hundred of us boys cried our hearts out. People who have never been in the army can never understand that feeling. Wearing our newly issued winter uniforms with shoulder tags and collar insignia, we swore an oath before the military flag. We were truly filled with patriotic fervor, feeling that we would brave any danger, even mountains of knives and seas of fire, at the command of our motherland. This isn't just me praising myself; that's what I really felt at the time.
As the saying goes, those who haven't served in the military won't understand this feeling
. Then they assigned us privates to companies, and I was assigned to the reconnaissance company. When I reported to the company headquarters, I learned that the black-clad lieutenant who testified for me was the reconnaissance company commander, surnamed
Wei told me that he chose me because I fought with discipline and ruthlessness, and because I was willing to use dirty tricks. In wartime, reconnaissance soldiers often operate behind enemy lines, and courage, clarity of mind, and the willingness to act are fundamental qualities. So I became a reconnaissance soldier and began training a hundred times more brutal than basic training. Reconnaissance soldiers need to master many basic skills. Besides basic army subjects like marching, military posture, full-armed weighted cross-country training, they also need to master close combat, vehicle driving, high-speed vehicle capture, basic climbing, multi-skill shooting, video and photographic reconnaissance, and so on. In less than a month, my once clean, piano-playing hands became dark and rough. This article isn't military literature, so the focus isn't on these training-related topics. The following is the main point; the above is just necessary background.
Two months later, the company commander announced that the reconnaissance company would undergo a preliminary assessment because the army group's reconnaissance soldier competition was about to be held, and the division had issued orders... The order demanded that we win the championship banner this year, and the regiment decided to conduct monthly assessments starting this month. After Wei Lian finished speaking, the political instructor gave another pep talk, ending his speech in Cantonese-accented Mandarin amidst enthusiastic applause and resounding slogans from the brothers.
Afterwards, Wei Lian spoke to me privately, asking if it was true that I studied composition at a music academy before joining the army. I said of course it was. The company commander patted my shoulder and repeatedly said good, adding that this time it all depends on you, Xiao Jinzi, you must bring honor to our regiment. I was puzzled. No matter how good I am, I'm still a new recruit, far behind the squad leaders. How could I possibly bring honor to the regiment in such a big event as the competition?
The company commander said it wasn't about the competition, you're not qualified yet. I was referring to the army group's cultural performance.
Only then did I realize. The company commander mentioned the death order again, saying that the regimental commander and political commissar said that our regiment must win first place this time. We have two trump cards: a chorus and you. You must prepare an earth-shattering performance, otherwise you'll be subject to military law.
People might not understand the soldiers' desire for honor. The competitive spirit has been thoroughly ingrained in their blood. Not only do the different units compete fiercely in military subjects, but they also fight tooth and nail in hygiene competitions. They have a spirit of never giving up until they win. Not to mention something as important as a cultural performance. This explains why there are so many propaganda teams, cultural troupes, and sports teams in the military. These are all important means to gain face and honor.
Don't you understand? So I went to watch the inter-company singing competitions, where soldiers would shout and sing together, taking turns between companies. At first, it was a competition of who sang better and knew more songs, but eventually it usually came down to who could shout the loudest. Imagine, even something as trivial as volume was being compared! So, the highly publicized cultural performance was even more of a spectacle.
Thus, under the regiment's high regard, I began what was supposed to be composing. Even regular training was suspended; I was to focus solely on writing and strive to make a splash at the performance
. I was locked in the barracks, racking my brains, trying to figure out how to achieve that. The result was that I decided to write a song to sing at the performance. But what about the instruments? A piano was definitely out of the question, and an electronic keyboard was out of the question too; the troupe didn't have the funds .
At the time, campus folk songs were popular locally, so I wanted to create a military folk song. I asked the troupe to buy me a
guitar. They said it was a good idea and supported me, but the assistant troupe member refused to pay, saying there were no funds. They even asked if I could
use an erhu instead. I was both amused and exasperated. I complained to the troupe leader, who was furious and slammed his fist on the table, but there was nothing the leader could do.
Assistant troupe was a stubborn man, and the troupe leader couldn't persuade him. So, he took out 150 yuan from his own pocket and gave me some. Taking advantage of my Sunday off, I borrowed Lao Wang
's beat-up car and rushed to the county town to buy a red cottonwood guitar. The music was easy to write, but the lyrics were difficult. Just as I was scratching my head over the lyrics, a letter from Zhao Liang of Class 3 reminded me. Hadn't Li Chunbo written a letter home? Why not just copy it? And so, within three days, my first truly meaningful composition was born.
Soon the day of the performance arrived, and our company was selected as the regiment's representative to attend the performance held in the military region's auditorium. Ah, the military is always the same, no matter where they go. During a short break at the beginning of the performance, various units directly under the army group took turns shouting, the soldiers singing at the top of their lungs, afraid of being outdone by the other units. The entire auditorium trembled under their voices. It wasn't until the performance began that things calmed down;
my performance was sixth. Sitting backstage, with my face painted red, I hugged my guitar and hummed my song over and over in my head, my stomach churning—I was nervous! How could a greenhorn like me not be nervous about being given such a heavy task? Besides, there were thousands of eyes watching. I'd never experienced anything like this before.
I didn't even know what the previous performances were; I was just too nervous. It wasn't until the stage manager pulled me that I realized it was my turn. In a flustered state, I grabbed my guitar and marched to the center of the stage—where two microphones were set up and a chair stood
. The audience was completely silent. I looked around and saw a sea of black crew cuts—all soldiers like myself
. So I calmed down; I really calmed down.
I gave a military salute and sat down. All of this had been arranged beforehand. The people from the military region's propaganda department repeatedly reminded us not to forget the salute, because the audience included not only soldiers but also leaders from local units involved in military-civilian cooperation. After
a few arpeggios, my singing began, amplified through the microphones and speakers, reaching every corner of the auditorium:
"Mom, Mom, how are you?"
I received your letter yesterday.
Don't worry, don't be sad.
Your son is doing well in the army.
He eats well, sleeps well,
and has even grown taller.
Mom, Mom, please take care of yourself,
otherwise your son will worry about you in the army.
Although I stand on guard duty every day with a gun
, I think about home
and you, Mom , all the time
. Mom, do you know, I was praised yesterday.
The squad leader even said that next year I can go home to see you.
Oh, Mom, Mom,
your son doesn't feel bitter or tired at all.
Wearing the uniform, I have never regretted it
because I know
that this is my duty to my country. ...
In today's eyes, this is hardly lyrics, just plain words, but I know I can never write it again—because I will never have that kind of feeling again
. When it ended, I realized that tears were already streaming down my face. Amidst thunderous applause, I stood up, saluted the brothers below who were all standing and clapping loudly, and then marched off the stage. At the same time, my face flushed red, thinking how incredibly embarrassing I had been—I had actually shed tears in front of everyone…
But after I went down, the brothers in my company all said I was good, and that they had also shed tears, etc. I didn't believe them at all; they must have been comforting me. It wasn't until later, when Xiaodan told me, that I believed her. She said she had also cried in the audience, and that several male soldiers from the next company had burst into tears, calling out "Mommy, Mommy!"
In the end, I brought honor to our division. The army group's propaganda team and a group of professional and semi-professional members from the military region's cultural troupe all performed, but I still beat them—first place!!
The division commander threw a celebration banquet that day—he couldn't be unhappy; this was the first time in history that our division had shown such prominence in a performance; before, we hadn't even made it into the top ten. The division commander was quite drunk; his dark face was flushed red and purple. He grabbed my hand, repeatedly expressing his gratitude, and then patted my shoulder repeatedly, making me wince in pain, but I had to stand ramrod straight. No matter how great a merit a private had, he couldn't be presumptuous in front of his superiors. The division
commander even took a group of officers and me, holding the banner, for a group photo. I still keep that photo—surrounded by officers in general's uniforms, a dark-skinned private stood awkwardly in the middle, holding a large red and gold banner to his chest, his smile extremely unnatural, revealing a mouthful of yellow teeth—I have tetracycline teeth. Back at the garrison, the regimental commander and political commissar weren't as happy as the division commander. They felt the honor that rightfully belonged to the regiment had been stolen by the division—the division commander had taken the banner and hung it in the division headquarters. But what could they do? In the army, especially in field units, being one rank higher can be incredibly prestigious
, but it still brought honor to the regiment. The regimental commander gave me a day off, so I put on my long-lost civilian clothes—actually, I only had one shirt—under the envious eyes of my comrades. I borrowed a car from Old Wang and spent a wonderful day sightseeing in town. I even went to a video arcade to watch a few adult films. They say, "After three years in the army, even a sow can look as beautiful as Diao Chan," and that's absolutely true. We were all
just teenagers in our developmental stage, and no amount of hard training could suppress our youthful hearts and boundless energy. We were all so obsessed with women that our noses bled, but unfortunately, there were no women in the barracks
. Every time the cultural troupe came to perform for the troops, pairs of eyes practically glowing with rage were fixed on
those flamboyant women. The soldiers looked at every exposed part of her body, and even the parts that weren't exposed, like those
bulging breasts.
Every night like this, the iron beds in the barracks would creak and groan. The brothers, who hadn't seen women for a long time, would masturbate with all their might, recalling the female soldiers' thighs and buttocks during the day. The next day, some of them would frantically wash the sheets and blankets.
The squad leader said that some company and platoon leaders in other units had their soldiers sew a towel to the head or foot of the blanket so
that they could ejaculate on it while masturbating, saving them the trouble of having to take the blankets apart and wash them all the time. I don't know
if this is true, I still don't. After my discharge, I asked many former soldiers, but
they only heard rumors and never actually done it themselves
. That day, I not only watched several adult films, but also ate at a restaurant. What's more, I chatted with a waitress for a long time. Now that I think about it, that girl was actually quite unattractive. I wonder how I could have been so excited, to the point that my heart was racing, my face was flushed, I was sweating, and even my penis got hard and stiff in my baggy military trousers. You have to understand, I spent two days at a music academy; what beautiful girls haven't I seen there?
What beautiful women haven't I seen? I've kissed and touched her,
but I was extremely excited at the time. Plus, I'd just watched a pornographic film, and I felt like I was on fire. On the way back, I pedaled my old, beat-up bicycle like crazy. What usually takes two hours, I covered in an hour
because I was in a hurry. I was eager to tell the brothers about my romantic encounter—that's what the brothers always do when they come back from their trips, sharing their so-called romantic adventures. Some are obviously exaggerations, and although everyone knows and can tell, they still listen with great interest. Sure
enough, as soon as I got back… The brothers in the class pulled me into the room and demanded I tell them about my day in town. I recounted my encounter with the ugly girl at the restaurant, which made them green with envy. Even after lights out, they still wanted me to repeat the story over and over. Even when I was tired of it, they wouldn't let me go, constantly pointing out where I'd said things wrong, suggesting that the girl might have been interested in me.
Later, I told them about the pornographic film I'd watched, which further fueled their excitement. They all insisted I tell them the details, even the class monitor. So I did. Now, thinking back, it was probably starring Veronica Yip? My memory is hazy, but I remember the excitement.
That night, the entire class masturbated again, and the metal beds in the classroom creaked loudly once more…
At the time, I always thought I would stay in that mountain valley until I retired, never imagining I would leave there, leave those brothers. One day, the regimental commander came to my company in person and said, "Little Jinzi, the higher-ups have sent transfer orders." I was stunned. The regimental commander said, "Don't even mention our regiment, in the entire army group, there's never been a gem like you. Naturally, someone above values
you. Now someone wants you. You don't have to stay in that mountain valley eating dirt anymore."
I had thought about leaving that wretched mountain valley more than once when I was exhausted, but when the day actually came, I didn't want to leave even if it killed me. I couldn't bear to leave my regiment, my company, my brothers. I hid in my room, hugging my pillow and crying all day. No one came to call me for drills, no one called me. When I went to eat, my brothers brought me food from the mess hall and carried it to my room.
I cried that night, and my squad leader and brothers cried with me. My brothers, who had fought alongside me through thick and thin, were also reluctant to let me go. But military orders are like mountains, and I had to obey.
I finally left my second home in the car that came to pick me up. As I sat in the car, I looked back at my brothers who were running behind me, tears streaming down their faces, to see me off. Tears kept flowing down my face. Even now, as I sit in front of the computer typing these words, I am still crying—do you know what camaraderie in arms is? These are
my brothers in green uniforms...
I cried all the way to the army headquarters. The propaganda section chief who received me told me that the propaganda team directly under the headquarters specifically wanted me, and the army leaders also said that it was a pity for someone as talented as me to stay down there. So, that transfer order came about,
and that's how I got into the propaganda team and moved into the headquarters compound.
The conditions in the propaganda team were surprisingly good. Four people shared a dormitory room with a TV. Even so, it was often not full. Usually, three people shared a room. I was even more amazing... Because there were unusually few male soldiers in the propaganda team
, two people could share a dormitory room.
The soldiers in the propaganda team were mostly girls and boys recruited from the local area. They were mostly trained in the arts, mostly dancers, and quite a few singers, but not many who played musical instruments. In those days, who would come to the army with such skills? And it wasn't even a proper cultural troupe. Although the soldiers here enjoyed the treatment of officers, they were all soldiers. They didn't have salaries, only allowances. Who wouldn't go to dance halls and nightclubs to make money if they could play musical instruments? So, the propaganda team only had five people who played musical instruments, one of whom was a woman playing the erhu.
The remaining four men (besides the driver and quartermaster, we were the only men in the entire propaganda team) formed an electric band. I was the one who played the keyboard.
When I first arrived, nobody in the team looked down on me, this dark-skinned kid who had risen through the ranks from the company. Those swaying girls all thought I was a rural soldier who could only strum a few guitar notes and hum a few tunes before being promoted. Although they had all heard my performance at the festival, they still looked down on me. It wasn't until I sat in front of the piano in their dance rehearsal room, accompanying them as they practiced their dance, that they all widened their eyes in surprise.
Given my pre-military experience, the team leaders required me to teach music theory to these girls and boys
. So, when I stood in front of the blackboard, those girls and boys were greatly surprised again. After that, when they looked at
me, there was a hint of what could be called respect in their eyes.
But I didn't respect them. I looked down on them, including the few men in the team. Was that what soldiers were like? They couldn't even stand in formation properly, and I had absolutely nothing in common with them. So for a long time, except for rehearsals and performances, I generally ignored them, either running wildly on the parade ground or practicing the piano in the music room. I was also thinking about my company, my brothers… This solitary life continued until I met Xiaodan, one of the two young female soldiers I rescued from the thugs.
Life in the propaganda team was very leisurely, almost unlike what one would expect from an army soldier. One of my hobbies was wandering around the headquarters compound. That day, I was strolling around the compound with my guitar, naturally having to avoid the military police walking around. After wandering around for a while, I got tired and found a rock in the woods behind the building to sit on. Then I started strumming my guitar, humming some old songs, and got tired after a while, so I stopped. But as soon as I stopped, I heard a clapping sound behind me. I turned around and saw two familiar-looking female soldiers.
Seeing me staring at them for a while without saying a word, one of them, a pretty girl with light makeup, tilted her head and asked, "What? Don't you recognize me?" I thought for a long time but still couldn't remember. Then she reminded me, "Those thugs! You beat up those thugs and saved us, how come you can't remember?"
That's when I recognized them. So we sat down and chatted.
During our conversation, I learned their names: one was Xiaodan, the pretty girl, and the other was a round-faced girl named Yuanyuan. She truly lived up to her name; not only was her face round, but her eyes were too. However, she wasn't very talkative; Xiaodan did most of the talking.
I also learned that their communications battalion wasn't all stationed in one place; their company was stationed in the headquarters compound. Xiaodan also said she had been wanting to thank me, but she hadn't seen me since that day and didn't even know which unit I was from. On the day of the performance, she recognized me on stage at a glance, but there wasn't any free time after the performance, so she missed her chance to thank me again. I was so happy to see you today!
We talked for a long time until almost six o'clock in the evening when Xiaodan looked at her watch and called out, "Oh no, dinner's almost ready! Little Jinzi, we have to go back now. Can I come visit you sometime?"
I smiled and nodded. Then Xiaodan and Yuanyuan skipped out of the woods like two little sparrows. As soon as they were out of the woods, the two little soldiers immediately straightened up, adjusted their uniforms, and walked in formation with their chests out and heads held high. I couldn't help but laugh at their serious expressions: I wonder who led their troops. It's one thing for three to walk in a team, but is it really necessary for two to walk in formation?
That day I was in a great mood and ate two bowls of rice, which made several girls in the team ask me, "What's wrong with Squad Leader Jin today? Why are you so happy?"
I even joked with them, which was unusual for me, "Anyone would be happy to have a bunch of pretty girls like you with them
."
The girls looked surprised and delighted. That night, they actually came to my dormitory and pulled me aside to talk. Looking at their clean and refreshingly cute appearance after their showers, I found that my penis, which hadn't been erect for a long time, was actually engorged and standing up. But after all, I was in the army. Although I really wanted to hug the girls and go to bed with them and have a good time, I could only watch and couldn't do anything. It was really tough.
A few days later, Xiaodan came to find me. She stayed in my dormitory for a whole afternoon. We chatted and had a great time, talking about everything from our elementary school days to our future plans. Through this conversation, I learned more about this adorable 17-year-old female soldier. I learned that her childhood dream was to wear a military uniform, and her current wish was to pass the entrance exam for military academy and then be assigned back to her enlistment location—the Shenyang Military Region—to become an officer. I also learned that her dream lover was a handsome boy who could play beautiful piano pieces.
At that moment, I had a slightly wicked thought: could I seduce her and use some tricks to make her fall in love with me? But I didn't. Xiaodan was simply too pure, so pure that it was unbearable to
defile her. In fact, Xiaodan's company had a lot of free time besides necessary training and duty—soldiers in headquarters generally didn't have many constraints. So, whenever she had time, she would come to me. After I agreed to tutor her, she came even more frequently. But at that time, I didn't have much feeling for her; I just regarded her as a cute little sister. Besides, there were several quite pretty girls in our unit who were obviously interested in me. I have to admit
that my womanizing nature from before I joined the army returned after being away from me for a while.
The incident happened one afternoon.
That day, I was chatting with Gu Lili—a pretty young female soldier who was also a dancer—in my room. Lately, this girl had been coming to my room every day, either cooking instant noodles with sausage and bringing it over, or making my bed, tidying up my belongings, and incidentally digging out a bunch of socks and underwear I'd hidden under the mattress to wash for me. I didn't object, because I was really too lazy to wash them, and besides, I had developed a certain fondness for this pretty girl who took such good care of me
. As we were chatting, Lili suddenly sat down next to me, reached out and touched my collar, saying, "Brother, your clothes are a little dirty. Take them off and I'll wash them for you, okay?" She started unbuttoning my shirt, and I obediently let her take it off, but Lili didn't leave or give me anything. Instead of changing into clean clothes, she placed her little hand on my chest and gently stroked it, saying, "Brother, you're so strong~"
Her little hand tickled me, and just as I was about to pull it away, she pressed her face against my chest and quickly kissed me. Just then, the door was pushed open. At this
time, the team leaders would never come to our dormitory, so I didn't panic. I slowly turned my head to see which soldier had come in without knocking, but I saw Xiaodan standing at the door with a pale face, her little hand holding the textbook trembling slightly.
I felt a little embarrassed and quickly pushed away Lili, who was still clinging to me, saying, "Go do the laundry." Lili pouted and reluctantly stood up, carrying a basin full of my dirty clothes out. As I passed Xiaodan, I heard Lili snort. After
Lili left, I beckoned Xiaodan, who was still standing blankly at the door, to come in. Then, I put on my shirt and apologized to her, saying, "Look at my brain, I completely forgot I was supposed to tutor you today. Come on, Xiaodan, let's begin."
I talked for a while, but realized that Xiaodan wasn't listening at all; she was just staring at me. I waved my hand in front of her eyes: "What's wrong? Why aren't you listening?"
Xiaodan's eyes finally lit up. She closed her book and asked me, "Is she your girlfriend?
"
I was stunned for a moment, then realized she was talking about Lili. I shook my head. "No, I see her as a younger sister."
Xiaodan asked again, "And what about me? What do you see me as?"
"You? A comrade-in-arms?!" I was a little surprised, and at the same time, I understood her thoughts.
I didn't deny that I had a different feeling for Xiaodan, but I wasn't sure if it was the legendary love.
I had never experienced it.
Xiaodan listened to my answer and looked at me quietly for a while, then suddenly asked, "Have you ever liked a girl?"
I shook my head blankly. "I don't know..."
"Then do you know what it feels like when a guy likes a girl? What kind of behavior does he exhibit?"
"No... I don't know."
Xiaodan got up and sat down next to me. "He would keep looking for opportunities to get close to that girl, and then keep looking for opportunities to talk to her." Xiaodan grabbed my arm, her eyes shining brightly. "Xiaojinzi, do you know, when I saw you singing on stage with tears in your eyes, I fell in love with you. Later, when I met you behind the White Building, I was so happy because I had a chance to get close to you. When you said you would tutor me, my heart was in turmoil. When I went back, I asked my classmates, and they all said you were looking for opportunities to get close to me, that you liked me... Xiaojinzi, do you know, from that moment on, I knew I was in love with you. Xiaojinzi, be my boyfriend."
Xiaodan's hand gripped my arm tightly, but her face was calm
. I was stunned. Ever since I became interested in the opposite sex, I've always been the one pursuing girls. Even when I met girls who liked me—like Lili—they would only show their affection subtly. I've never experienced a girl directly confessing her love to me, and I never thought I would. But today, I encountered
something completely different. My mind was a mess, and I didn't even know what thoughts were swirling around in my head. Clearing my throat, I stammered out a few words: "Xiaodan...I...I..."
Xiaodan suddenly hugged me and burst into tears: "Little Jinzi, Little Jinzi, don't speak, I'm afraid you'll reject me, I can't bear it..."
She sobbed uncontrollably in my arms. Suddenly, an unprecedented tenderness welled up in my heart. A girl, a girl who had fallen in love with me, had bravely confessed her love but was afraid to hear the outcome. My nose involuntarily stung. I still didn't know what love was, but I could clearly feel being loved. This indescribable feeling made me want to cry.
I slowly wrapped my arms around her and then pulled her tightly into my embrace. Xiaodan raised her red, tear-filled eyes and looked at me with teary eyes: "Little Jinzi?" I smiled and nodded at her.
Xiaodan smiled, a smile so sweet and beautiful. I had never seen such a beautiful face in my life, and I was captivated by it.
Later, I realized that I had fallen deeply in love with Xiaodan, our tongues intertwined tightly, swirling and writhing...
"Little Jinzi..." Xiaodan pressed her face against my chest, playing with the metal buttons on my clothes: "Little Jinzi..."
"Hmm?" I lowered my head and kissed her smooth forehead: "What is it?"
She looked up at me, smiling gently: "Nothing, I just wanted to call you."
After a while, Xiaodan called again: "Little Jinzi?"
I kissed her forehead again: "What is it?"
This time, Xiaodan sat up from my arms, facing me, her eyes radiating a look that I couldn't understand. "Little Jinzi, take me. I'll give you everything."
In that instant, I was filled with an overwhelming feeling of happiness, a feeling that made me dizzy, as if the whole world had turned upside down.
I wanted to laugh, but I couldn't; I wanted to cry, but no tears came. So I could only hold Xiaodan tightly in my arms: "Silly girl, don't be so distrustful of me. I won't accept anything easily, and once I do, I'll never give up."
"Little Jinzi, is this a vow you made?" I shook my head: "No, this isn't." Then I raised my right hand, looked into Xiaodan's beautiful eyes, and solemnly said: "I swear to heaven now, unless I die, I will never give up on Xiaodan who loves me."
Tears welled up in Xiaodan's eyes, and she also raised her hand and said: "I swear to heaven, unless I die, I will never give up on Little Jinzi who loves me."
One afternoon, two young soldiers, both under twenty, made their first vow of love to the heavens. There were no grand promises, no vows of forever, but rather a date set for the end of their love. This vow remains valid even today in 2003…
Xiaodan made the vow, slowly stood up, walked to the door, locked it, closed her eyes, and began to take off her clothes one by one. She stepped out of her pants, which had slipped down to her ankles, and stretched out her arms, revealing her snow-white, delicate body to me without reservation.
I also stood up, took off all my clothes, and walked forward, tightly embracing her naked, lamb-like body, connecting us seamlessly.
Feeling the erection in my groin, Xiaodan smiled shyly. She left me, walked to the bed, lay down, and stretched out her arms to me: “Little Jinzi, I’m yours.”
Looking at Xiaodan’s naked, alluring body, I found I had lost the composure I used to have when making love with girls. I was trembling, trembling violently, my heart pounding as if it would burst from my chest.
Xiaodan must have noticed my nervousness and trembling; she sat up, hugged me, who was also naked, and pressed her small face against my lower abdomen. Her flushed face was like a blazing torch, burning away my nervousness and igniting my desire.
The penis, which had softened due to tension, hardened again, pressing against Xiaodan's chin. She withdrew her hands from my hips, gently pushed me away a little, then gazed at my erect penis, gently kissed the glans, and
finally lay down again.
I knelt by the bed, reverently kissing Xiaodan's snow-white body from head to toe again and again, until she let out a soft moan, and a faint glow shone between her legs. Xiaodan was aroused.
Slowly, I pressed my body against hers, pressing my extremely hard penis against her moist and hot vulva: "Xiaodan, I'm coming..."
Xiaodan's body suddenly trembled, and her hands tightly hugged my body: "Come on, little Jinzi, take me, I'll give you everything, I'll give you everything..."
I breathed heavily, kissing her lips tightly, then reached down, aimed my glans at Xiaodan's opening, and slowly inserted my penis into her body.
There was no resistance, but I had no doubt that Xiaodan was a virgin. That hymen didn't mean anything,
although... There was no pain of her hymen being torn, but Xiaodan still seemed to be suffering from pain. She suddenly opened her eyes as I penetrated her, her body trembling violently again.
I hurriedly stopped my movements, kissing her deeply while my hands caressed her body thoroughly.
After a long time, Xiaodan calmed down. She responded passionately to my kisses, closing her eyes again, but I saw a tear slide down her cheek.
"Does it hurt?" I kissed away her tear.
"No...it doesn't hurt...Xiaojinzi, I'm so happy, so happy. Xiaojinzi, we're one now, aren't we?"
"Yes." I nodded. "And we'll never be apart again."
Xiaodan smiled shyly, biting her thin lower lip. "Little Jinzi, you...you move."
I swayed my hips, slowly but resolutely pulling in and out. With each thrust, Xiaodan let out a soft, gentle moan. Her fragrant breath, emanating from her small mouth, washed over my face, allowing me to experience the delicate yet passionate charm of a young girl.
My speed gradually increased, and Xiaodan's hands tightened around me.
Suddenly, Xiaodan whispered in my ear, "Little Jinzi, I...I want to see."
I panted, kissing her snow-white neck. "See...see what?"
"I want to see how we're connected..."
I smiled softly, then stopped and sat up. Xiaodan then supported herself with her hands behind her back and sat up, looking down at our joined genitals.
I held her hips with both hands, moving my buttocks slightly. Xiaodan kept watching my penis move in and out of her soft vagina. Then she pulled one of my hands and placed it on her small, full breasts, kneading them. The speed of my lower body gradually increased, and the pleasure became more and more intense...
Finally, under Xiaodan's clinging and convulsing, my pleasure reached its peak. Just before ejaculation, I withdrew my penis from Xiaodan's body. My hard penis, covered with Xiaodan's slippery fluids, stood erect from our intertwined pubic hair, trembling violently on Xiaodan's snow-white abdomen, powerfully spraying streams of milky white semen onto her white abdomen, breasts, and face...
After heavy breathing, I felt my unfocused vision refocus. Looking at Xiaodan, I apologized, "Xiaodan, I'm sorry I didn't make you happy..."
Xiaodan leaned in and kissed my face, "I'm very happy, really happy." As she spoke, she used her smooth little hands to grasp my penis and stroke it, smearing the semen on her lower abdomen with the glans. Suddenly, she giggled, "Little Jinzi, it's so strange, it was hard just now, but now it's as soft as noodles...
"
I couldn't help but laugh and hugged this lovely girl tightly. Xiaodan exclaimed and hurriedly pushed me away, "Wait, let me wipe it off..."
I bent down and took a towel from the basin under the bed to hand it to her, but I found that Xiaodan had produced a handkerchief from somewhere and was wiping her body, wiping away the semen I had shot on her chest, abdomen, and face. After wiping, seeing that I was staring at her, she smiled sweetly at me, then pinched my glans and lifted it up, wiping away the semen splattered on my pubic hair.
After getting dressed, I hugged Xiaodan again. Suddenly she exclaimed, pointing to the alarm clock on the table, "Oh no, Xiao Jinzi, I have to hurry, roll call is coming up soon!" I checked my watch; sure enough, it hadn't been long, but it was already past five.
I opened the door, and Xiaodan and I stood frozen in place
. Lili was sitting on the floor, hugging her knees, leaning against the opposite wall. Seeing us, tears immediately welled up in Lili's eyes. Xiaodan looked back at me, bewildered. I sighed and gestured for her to go first. Xiaodan hesitated, glancing at the tearful Lili, then at me. Seeing me nod, she left. Lili
and I stared at each other with tearful eyes for a long time, then I sighed deeply. I called out to her, "Get up, the floor is cold."
Lili obediently stood up, but still leaned against the wall.
I took a few steps forward, opened my mouth, but didn't know what to say. Lili gave a self-deprecating bitter laugh, then bent down to pick up the plastic basin from the ground and handed it to me: "It's nothing, I just wanted to give the basin back to you... The clothes are all washed, you can collect them yourself when they're dry..." Before she could finish speaking, she suddenly sobbed again, immediately lowered her head, covered her mouth with her hand, and turned and walked away quickly. Watching her figure disappear around the corner of the corridor, I couldn't help but feel a heaviness in my heart.
Because I was transferred from the company, from the first day I arrived, the team leaders pushed all the duty shifts onto me, while they themselves were left idle. Except when there were duties, they would only walk around the team during the day and then disappear. Therefore, I was the one who did the evening roll call, the bunk check, supervised the team members' practice, led the team to the canteen for meals, and blew the whistle to assemble the whole team for morning exercises. Because they were often absent, I often wondered if the team leaders even existed...
The next day, after the whistle blew, I went downstairs to wait for them to assemble. But after the whole team assembled, I couldn't find Lili. After roll call, the girls in Lili's class reported that she wasn't feeling well and hadn't done morning exercises, and my mood inexplicably became heavy again. We were supposed to run three laps around the basketball court, but I only led them one lap
before dismissing them. Lili didn't show up for the dance team practice in the morning, she didn't come out for lunch, and she didn't show up for music theory class in the afternoon either. After thinking about it for a long time, I decided to go to her class to see her after dinner.
I knocked on the door, and someone called out loudly from inside, "The door's unlocked, come in." I knocked again, and someone called out again, "Come in."
I coughed, "It's me."
"Oh, is that Squad Leader Jin?"
"Yes."
"Oh~~~"
There was a flurry of activity inside, and after a while, the door was opened a crack, and a pair of big eyes appeared: "Squad Leader Jin~~ What's the matter?"
"I've come to see Lili."
Her eyes narrowed immediately, the door opened quickly, and Shen Dan smiled at me before calling out, "Lili, Squad Leader Jin is here to see you!!"
I instinctively glanced left and right down the corridor. Shen Dan pulled me into the room, gestured towards a bed near the window, and then called out to the female soldiers in the room who were looking at me with various expressions, "Come on, weren't we going to buy Coke? Hey~~ hurry up..." I turned to look at Shen Dan, who was stamping her feet, and saw her giving them a sharp look.
Her small face was scrunched up, and I couldn't help but smile. Shen Dan's face immediately turned red.
She turned and slipped out the door, then called out in the hallway, "Are you coming out or not? If you're not, I'm going to get
some good food by myself!"
The female soldiers laughed and giggled as they slipped past me into the room. The last one gave me a hard shove towards Lili's bed and kindly closed the door behind her.
I walked to Lili's bedside and found her lying with her face against the wall. I sighed, pulled up a chair, and sat down. "Lili, are you feeling better?"
Lili didn't move. I asked again, "Did you take your medicine? If it's not better, go to the infirmary. It's not good to tough it out when you're sick." Lili seemed to be asleep, still motionless.
She didn't want to see me. I sighed, stood up from the chair, and pulled the blanket up to cover her exposed shoulders. "Then you should rest well." As I walked towards the door,
a voice came from behind: "Stop!" I stopped and turned around to see Lili sitting up, her eyes wide, a large expanse of pale skin visible beneath her low-cut nightgown.
"Who asked you to come see me?! What does my life or death have to do with you?!" Lili stared intently at me, her teeth biting her thin lower lip until it turned pale.
I walked to her bedside, sat down on the edge, and placed my hands on her thin shoulders. "Lili, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." "You."
Lily's eyes reddened, then she covered her face with her hands and cried again, "It's all your fault, it's all your fault~~~ Why did you smile at us? Why did you talk to us? Why didn't you kick us out when we went to your room~~~~ Otherwise, I wouldn't have fallen for you~~~ Waaaaah~~~"
Seeing her pitiful crying, although I knew I absolutely shouldn't, I couldn't help but hug her and gently pat her frail back, "Lily, don't cry... don't cry..."
But Lily cried louder and louder, her little fist pounding my chest incessantly, "It's all your fault... it's all your fault..."
"Yes, it's all my fault, it's my fault..."
Lily finally cried herself to sleep. She quietly nestled in my arms for a long, long time before sitting up straight again. Seeing that my shirt was soaked with her tears, she smiled sheepishly, "You... you got it dirty... take it off and I'll wash it for you."
Looking at her, my heart finally calmed down. I smiled at her and said, "No need, you're still sick. Wait until you're fully recovered before you wash my clothes."
She paused for a moment, then lowered her head and asked softly, "You... you still want me to wash your clothes?"
"Yes, of course I do. I'm so lazy, who else would wash my clothes if not me?"
"She... she can wash them for you... I'm not anyone to you."
I thought she wouldn't bring up the topic again, but she did anyway. I pondered for a long time, organizing my thoughts several times before finally saying, "Lili... actually, I knew Xiaodan before I joined the team..." I recounted how I rescued Xiaodan from the thugs: "Lili, you know, we're stuck in the mountains for years, we hardly ever see any women, so... so ever since then, I've thought about her every day. I don't know if it's love, but I've never forgotten her..."
Lili looked into my eyes: "So, if you had saved me back then, would you have thought about me the same way?"
"Yes," I said firmly.
Lili nodded: "This... is fate, isn't it?"
After a long while, Lili looked up and met my gaze again: "Will you always love her like that?"
I considered for a moment and answered, "I think, if nothing unexpected happens, I'll always be with her... Lili, Xiaodan enlisted in the same place as me, and we'll both go back someday."
"What if something unexpected really happens... I mean, like she falls in love with someone else, or... or for some other reason she leaves you, would you consider having me as your girlfriend?"
I looked at her. "I don't know, I can't imagine it... maybe."
"Really?"
"Yeah, Lili, you're so pretty and cute, and you have such a kind heart... I think maybe I would. But Lili, I don't want anything to happen between Xiaodan and me. I made a promise to her."
An expression appeared on Lili's face that was completely out of character for her age. I couldn't describe that expression in words
—was it purity? Nobility? In short, she radiated beauty like an angel, sitting there smiling at
me: "I know... Brother, kiss me, kiss me like you kissed Sister Xiaodan."
I was stunned, motionless.
Lili's lips curved upwards, and gradually her snow-white teeth were revealed: "You silly brother..."
Then she hugged me, her small mouth suddenly pressing against my lips, and then her soft, sweet tongue curled and burrowed into my mouth.
I was deeply kissed by Lili, at a loss and passive. Lili held me tightly, as if trying to merge herself into my body, her small mouth sucking and swallowing our mixed saliva... until I almost stopped breathing, Lili trembled and gasped as she released me.
"Silly brother..." Lili gazed at me for a long time before pressing her small face against my chest again: "Silly brother, don't worry, I'm okay..."
[Last edited by szy123]

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