Mirror Flower, Water Moon - Chapter Twenty-Six (End)

The plane finally landed. Stepping out of the airport terminal, the familiar scents filled my nostrils, but compared to the dry, cold air of Vancouver, there seemed to be more particulate matter in the atmosphere, causing me to cough.
Apart from my close friends from junior high school, I didn't tell anyone I was going back to China. Dragging my luggage, I kept thinking about a place I absolutely had to go.
Having not returned to my hometown for three years, everything seemed familiar yet strangely unfamiliar.
After getting out of the taxi, I mustered up my courage, looked around, and closed the door.
Ever since I made up my mind to come back, this scene has been constantly appearing in my mind. The place where I confessed my love to the girl I loved and where I walked with her every night.
In the park downtown, many children were riding tricycles in circles. To me, it was just like that afternoon three years ago; a sense of déjà vu washed over me again. But deep down, I told myself that those were all in the past. I always remind myself of this when I think about those things.
I stood at the park entrance and noticed a huge rock piled up there. The rock seemed to have always been there, but I only suddenly noticed its presence at this moment.
The words "Tonghua Park" were carved in large red characters on the stone. After so many years, I realized that this park actually had its own name and was not some "Little Park of Love".
The lottery shop next to the park had been converted into a chain coffee shop, which changed the whole neighborhood. If I didn't remember the location clearly, I would have thought I was in the wrong place.
During this time, despite my attempts to forget, I still dreamt of Lin Jun's face repeatedly at night. I think I may never forget her in this lifetime—her cuteness, beauty, arrogance, willfulness, and gentleness; at the same time, whenever I recall her, images of her entwined naked with other men also surface.
Three years ago, on that sweltering night, I had an argument with her in this park. On a summer afternoon, I walked here alone, hoping to meet her, but I only saw her private social media account that she had never shared with me through her phone.
Next, what came to mind was an image of her and a man I didn't know sitting intimately on a bench under a tree. She told the man that she hadn't worn underwear that night, and then they made love without any restraint in a public restroom in the corner.
Not far ahead, in the apartment building shrouded in the shadows of the trees, through that familiar little window, she and another man... were making love on her bed, using positions I had never used and could never do, and then she succumbed to it all, the beautiful Lin Jun whom I once loved so deeply.
So how exactly did Linjun turn away from me and gradually succumb to physical intimacy with others? Did I also play a significant role in this process? Deep down, the answer is obvious, but I'm always unwilling to face it. Even when I write the story, I always think I'm facing it honestly, but the opposite is true.
At this moment, I want to meet Lin Jun. After three years and then another three years, I want to ask her in person, I want to hear her give me the real answer.
Although... perhaps the real answer was already revealed in the video sent by that mysterious figure.
I understand that even if I were to encounter it, I would still be at a loss. Because I'm unsure whether I truly need this answer, or whether I want to continue running away.
During these three years of silence, although I kept reminding myself to forget, I still unconsciously pieced together the truth of everything. Perhaps there are some imperfections, but after careful consideration and repeated checks, this logic is enough to give me an explanation.
Looking back, I always felt that I had taken great care of Lin Jun, but while we were both under a lot of pressure at work, I chose to ignore Lin Jun's vulnerability. At that time, I only thought about how to make myself successful as quickly as possible. I thought that as long as I became a successful person, Lin Jun's problems would no longer be problems.
But that was not the case. Back then, Lin Jun went from being a top student in her university class to becoming the most clumsy newcomer in the workplace. No one helped her, no one cared about her, and the person who should have encouraged her the most was me. But I was always living in my own arrogant and conceited dream.
And Chen Shangming? He was completely different from me. He was disdainful and flamboyant, but deep down he was meticulous. He understood the predicament Lin Jun was facing at the time. Compared to me, he was more willing to spend time listening to Lin Jun, even playing tennis with her and buying her juice, just like a date between newlyweds. Chen Shangming possessed everything that could make a woman fall for him. Besides money, he had an outstanding appearance, extraordinary athletic ability, captivating conversation, and even more importantly, irresistible sexual skills and a naturally strong penis.
I'm not sure about his feelings for Lin Jun, but I know that when Lin Jun met someone who seemed like her dream lover, she was indeed like someone trapped in quicksand, with no room to resist. At first, she was blinded by her vague admiration, and the day after we argued, when she entered that hotel room, her heart was filled with unparalleled intense pleasure.
Chen Shangming was an expert in this area. From the very beginning, he consciously guided Lin Jun. He knew that Lin Jun was a woman with a boyfriend, but he still took pleasure in it, leading Lin Jun step by step into the immoral pleasure. In the process, he constantly seduced and taught Lin Jun, making her always compare him to him when they made love. And the result of the comparison was that Chen Shangming, who had outstanding sexual ability, won.
Chen Shangming was delighted with this outcome, but Lin Jun gradually became confused. She began to deny all the memories she had with me, and replaced them with the lewd and unrestrained scenes of her relationship with Chen Shangming.
I think that in Chen Shangming's eyes, my girlfriend was probably like a small animal that had wandered into the jungle, powerless to resist, and could only obey the man's instructions, offering herself up and becoming a prisoner of pleasure.
Perhaps Chen Shangming originally wanted to end his relationship with my girlfriend hastily, but in order to get revenge on me, he took advantage of Lin Jun's love for both of us—one was blind love for him, and the other was still affectionate love for me—to create a prank that could plunge me into an abyss.
In any case, the only thing I'm certain of is that at that time, Lin Jun had indeed fallen deeply in love with Chen Shangming, even more than with me. In fact, she also loved all the happiness that Chen Shangming brought her, happiness in every aspect.
As I reminisced, a voice in my head kept warning me that perhaps it was time to end it all. It was all in the past. No matter who Lin Jun loved, it no longer mattered. It was I who chose to leave, and it was I who personally pushed my girlfriend, my Lin Jun, into that situation.
Just as I was thinking this, someone carrying a child walked into the park from the other side in the distance, which caught my attention.
The woman, pushing a stroller with one hand and holding a toddler in the other, slowly walked onto the stone path, found a bench, and sat down. She placed her child, wearing a striped shirt, on the ground, smiled, said a few words to him, and then let go, allowing him to run forward. The little boy's chubby legs swung vigorously as he ran towards the sandpit, happily joining the other children playing. The woman let out a soft sigh, leaning back in her chair. Her face was exactly the same as the one in the photo I'd seen on the plane; that familiar gentle smile now held a touch of worldly maturity, but she remained that beautiful and graceful figure.
"So they didn't move after all."
I muttered to myself, gazing at the apartment building not far away, shrouded in layers of tree shadows.
I still remember her room, the location of the window. Even though I was never allowed to enter; even though she easily let other men in.
Uncontrollably, images kept flashing through my mind: a video recording on a smartphone, a man and a woman in a white room, the clamor of a noisy bar, a swimming pool in a luxury hotel, and a woman fiddling with her sweaty bangs, a slight upturn at the corners of her mouth.
I could only keep myself from shouting by clenching my fists tightly.
Although I had mentally rehearsed countless scenarios, when the situation actually arose, I still felt bewildered and helpless, yet also incredibly excited. After three years, and after the numbing effects of manual labor, I've learned to control my emotions better, and I understand more clearly that nothing in this world is insurmountable. If I can even let go of something like losing the person I love most, what could be worse?
After hesitating for a moment, I clenched my fists, gritted my teeth, and stepped forward.
The woman, whom I hadn't seen in a long time, reached into the stroller to rummage for something. I walked to the bench, thinking about my opening remarks. Images flashed through my mind like a slideshow, but in the end, all those long-winded and verbose words could only be simplified to the simplest words: that name that haunts my dreams.
"Lin Jun." I stopped and said.
Linjun looked up and met my gaze. We simply looked at each other without saying a word.
The warm sunlight shone into her still clear and bright eyes, and I could almost see my own reflection in her pupils.
For a fleeting moment, I felt as if I had returned to the time six years ago when we first met. But I told myself that everything was so different now, and that feeling and emotion I had just experienced were nothing but a mirage.
(The End of "Mirror Flower Water Moon")

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Mirror Flower, Water Moon - Chapter Twenty-Six (End)

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