Classic erotic text messages (You be the judge if they're classic!!)

1.
A bar girl smiled at me, making my little brother hard. I added aphrodisiac to her beer, various positions were romantic, making her excited and screaming. When she woke up, she wanted money. Viagra really works, making her not pee for several nights, let's see if she still dares to want more.
2.
The girl in bed is deadly, her breasts are elastic, sexy and fair, making my dick hard. Sex is really powerful, the girl screams for help, thousands of troops obey orders, conquering the island and celebrating together.
3.
At the beginning of life, people are inherently good. You read, I play with my balls. You take a shower and I peek. I see two atomic bombs, please let me touch them. First touch the chicken, then touch the balls, my dick is hard and I'll...
4.
The girl is so beautiful, big breasts and small hole, she smiles when she sees my dick, puts it in her mouth and it's hard. Lying on the bed, she wants it, screaming when she climaxes.
5.
Sir, you're handsome, I wonder if you're fast at sex. Miss, you're so cool, sex has to be fast. Sir, hurry up and take your clothes off, let's have another round on the bed. Miss, I won't take my clothes off, I'll just masturbate tonight. 6.
I was insulted by you like this, I took off my pants like this, my chastity has been given, your semen has been ejaculated inside me. You said it felt good after you finished, but I cried in the corner. Your movements were too rough, my lower body is already blurry. 7. With money, go into the alley, visit a brothel, find a prostitute, no matter what she looks like, bring her into the house, unbutton her clothes, take off her pants, kiss her neck, pinch her breasts, be impatient, don't use a condom, thrust your body, aim at her balls, ejaculate all your sperm, stretch your waist, empty your pockets. 8. Skinny but muscular, when it comes to sex he's like a wild beast, flat chest, superb martial arts skills, chest bulging like a wolf or tiger, thin legs, special skills, protruding front teeth, loves to have sex. 9. Man says: Father, we're like two guns, always firing in the same old places. Now with reform and opening up, it's a pity we've run out of bullets. Woman says: Father, you gave me a field, which has been wasted for twenty years. Now with the contract responsibility system, whoever cultivates it pays for it. 10. I thought you were a good brother, but you're actually a big pervert. You deceived me with sweet words, asked me out on dates, and promised not to violate me. Then you grabbed my breasts and forced me to have sex with you, and you gave me a sexually transmitted disease. 11. I came to Guangdong empty-handed, forced by life to develop uterine surgery. It was very painful at first, but it gradually loosened. 300 yuan a time made me a millionaire. I fixed my vaginal opening and remarried. The performance of crying out in pain was a success. 12. Modern girls are really sexy. They don't need to be taught how to drink and dance. They dance all night long. If they don't have money, they get reimbursed by working as prostitutes. They wear shoes that are seven inches high. They flirt with everyone they meet. They are as cute as lambs when they are young. When they get angry, they grab a kitchen knife. If they can't get married, don't worry. They can be kept by someone for 30,000 yuan a year. 13. In the past, men and women never used condoms during sex. Now people are getting worse, and sex positions are all sorts of strange. There's the old man pushing a cart at over 100 miles per hour, inserting into the anus with gentle pulling and slowing, and the upside-down candle position is even cooler. We are invincible in sex! 14. South Korean women are all about enjoyment, they never get enough of sex. French women are truly crazy, like wolves in bed. American women are good, letting you do it from both front and back. Chinese women are the most useless, lying in bed without moving. 15. American men are excellent, they don't distinguish between front and back during sex. German men have it good, couples can take turns. Japanese men are really impressive, their sex is all sexual perversion. Chinese men are truly miserable, they get caught afterward. 16. Parting Lin Xin's breasts, raising the giant cock, sliding into Song Zuying, first posing as Sun Yanzi, then Liang Yongqi, several rounds of Shu Huilun, shooting out Zhang Bai's juice, Xu Ruyun , and then blowing Xiao Yaxuan, you are really Zheng Yijian. 17. Thick at the head, thin at the tip, tightly packed inside, coming in fiercely, thrusting hard, making the little sister moan softly. Take it out and kiss it, wishing you could bite the stem off. The little guy is so sensitive, shooting out a stream of milk essence. 18. A river three feet off the ground, the water flows all year round, no cattle or sheep come to graze, only monks come to wash their heads. 19. Tonight at 8:30, Vietnam counterattack station, lying in bed loading bullets, one submachine gun, two grenades, tearing through the barbed wire, surrounding the nipple mountain, tumbling down the ravine, crawling into the cat hole, after several hand-to-hand battles, all ended up dead. 20. Black lace-trimmed briefs, thick pubic hair exposed on both sides, red labia pouting, making the penis unable to resist, spreading legs and inserting deep inside, squeaking in and out, the vaginal fluid overflowing the bed, the penis inserted into the vagina, a shot of semen, so good! 21. Without crazy kissing, how can there be rolling around on the bed? Without the friction of the belly, how can there be the spark of love? 22. Report to the commander: The enemy has arrived. We pulled out our dicks, and after a fight, most of the female soldiers were raped! A small number escaped after being impregnated! One of our soldiers was injured and named "Vulgarity," and is now resting in the brothel, happily reading messages. 23. Singing boy: Little... oh little mother... goes to school without a bra, not... afraid of being raped, ah... not... afraid of perverts, most afraid that the teacher will make me take off my clothes, three... points exposed, laughing at my flat chest. 24. I'm so tired, you make me keep changing positions, from front to back, and you order me not to sleep until I ejaculate, after I ejaculate you are intoxicated and I am devastated, and after it's over you still want me to talk about my experience. Sigh! It's heartbreaking, playing football is so damn tiring! 25. The drizzle was impatient, and a young woman ran into a dilapidated temple and urinated on the Buddha statue, which was purely outrageous. When the abbot of the temple saw this, he hurriedly took out his cannon and forcefully blocked the vagina. Buddha praised: Acting on behalf of Heaven, be ruthless. 26. It's so good not having a wife, I can cuddle with my lover every day. Sweet words fill my mouth, like the Great Wall that will never fall. Having a wife is terrible, I can never satisfy her in bed, she'll complain that my penis is too small or that I ejaculate too early. 27. A prostitute says: I don't steal, I don't rob, I firmly support the government, I don't occupy land, I don't need a house, all I need for work is a bed, no noise, no pollution, promoting economic development, I don't give birth to girls, I don't give birth to boys, I don't cause trouble for the country. 28. Your beautiful features are the beginning of my crimes, your high breasts are the paradise of my dreams, your big buttocks are the foundation of my affairs, your full lower body made me lose my virginity, ah! Give me back my youth! 29. A beautiful woman is alone in her room, the long night is too long, she touches her breasts with both hands, and shouts "My love!" A pervert lives next door, hears someone calling for sex, rushes into the young woman's room, aims at her little black hole, inserts his big sausage, moves up and down together, and shouts wildly. 30. Don't underestimate me just because I'm broke. I've slept with Sandy Lam before, and I'm not bragging. I've also been with Faye Wong and Vicki Zhao, and I was thrilled. I even slept with Liu Xiaoqing. I've slept with countless women, but the most promiscuous of all is Na Ying. 31. Hotels now offer great service, providing girls for you to have your way with. They'll accompany you for meals, drinks, and even baths, and can give you orgasms so intense you can't sleep all night. If there's a room check, don't run away; I've got good connections with the hotel. 32. The sky is vast, the fields are boundless, a man and a woman are going crazy. You're on top, I'm on the bottom, like Guanyin sitting on a lotus. Don't be afraid, I'll play the zither, you'll play the flute. This is the ultimate way to enjoy sex. Doing it every day is good for your health. Where else can you find a life like this? 33 .

The escort said: "Whether you're a section chief or deputy section chief, don't touch my butt if you don't give me a tip. Whether you're a section chief or deputy section chief, if the tip isn't enough, I can only kiss you. Whether you're a department head or deputy department head, I won't take my pants off until I pay the tip. Whether you're a department head or deputy department head, please don't ejaculate until you pay the tip."
34.
Shanghai is full of beautiful women, wearing halter tops, tank tops, and short skirts. If they're in a good mood, they all love to have sex, with all sorts of positions, each one hitting the mark. Whether you're invincible or not, you'll be forced to bow down and worship. Tonight you'll be king in bed, tomorrow you'll be walking on pins and needles.

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Classic erotic text messages (You be the judge if they're classic!!)

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