I just shook hands with a girl, and she found out she's pregnant! [Full text]

1.
Sleeping with your wife is your duty;
sleeping with your mistress is comfortable and enjoyable; sleeping with your classmate is out of
old feelings ; sleeping with a rich woman is to make some extra money; sleeping with a prostitute is like funding foreign aid ; sleeping with a widow is the spirit of Lei Feng in the modern era! Comment: A very apt summary, suitable for a report! 2. A wife sweetly asked her husband, "Do you like my gentle nature or are you captivated by my sexy figure?" The husband hesitated for a moment, then replied, "I just like your sense of humor!!" Comment: Bro, watch out for getting a black eye! 3. A prostitute was arrested and interrogated by the anti-prostitution squad. The prostitute argued, "I just sold a two-yuan contraceptive for two hundred yuan!" The anti-prostitution squad angrily asked, "Still daring to argue! What happened next?" The prostitute explained, "Afterwards, I taught him how to use it, which is after-sales service." " Comment: A diligent salesman for avoiding pregnancy drugs, come to me for your sale. 4. After the tsunami, a rotting male corpse floated into the village, only his lower body was recognizable! A village woman looked at it and said, "This is not my husband, nor the village chief, nor the accountant." A village girl looked at it and said, "This is not my brother-in-law, nor my sister's husband!" At this moment, a widow came over, touched it and said, "Go back, he's not from our village." Comment: What is level, look, look. 5. A foreigner went to the Forbidden City for tourism, but did not know how to get there, so he asked someone for directions. Because the foreigner confused the Forbidden City with the Imperial Palace, he asked, "How do I get to the Imperial Palace?" The passerby glared at the foreigner and replied, "Go to the end." Comment: Chinese is profound, foreigner, you should study more before you come here. 6. A wife and husband were shopping when the wife's skirt was suddenly blown up by a strong wind! The wife panicked and held down her skirt, shouting, "Oh my god! My private parts are exposed!" " The husband rolled his eyes at her and said, 'Please! This is airing your dirty laundry in public!' Comment: You really dare to say that, you won't be able to go to bed tonight . 7. In a bar, a man was complaining to his friend. The man complained, 'I just shook hands with a girl the other day, and she's pregnant!' His friend was shocked: 'Are you kidding me? You can get pregnant from shaking hands?' The man said hesitantly, 'Sigh, I don't like washing my hands, and I didn't expect her to be the same.' Comment: The world is full of wonders, bro, you're really something. 8. A: 'Dude, why do you look so sad?' B: 'I accidentally posted my wife's nude photos online!' A: 'It's too early for you to be sad now. Be sad when the post sinks!' Comment: That makes sense. 9. The husband was bored in the car, so he texted his wife jokingly: 'Hey girl, give me a smile!' A little while later, the wife replied: 'Please have some self-respect, sir. I sell my body, not my art!' " " Comment: Having such a wonderful wife is truly a blessing. 10. A man anxiously waited outside the delivery room for his wife to give birth. After a long time, a nurse came out pushing a stroller with three babies. The man ran over, carefully examined the three babies, and solemnly said to the nurse, 'I want the one in the middle.' Comment: I've been watching this for a long time and still don't know what's so funny... Experts, please explain. "

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I just shook hands with a girl, and she found out she's pregnant! [Full text]

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