Adultery - Chapter Four

The hotel entrance was packed with cars. The two of them couldn't find a parking space.
"Damn it!" Guan Wen cursed. "Does this mean others know about this intoxicating place too?"
The car drove back onto Panyu Road and headed towards Xinhua Road.
"Where should we go?" Just as the two were pondering this, Guan Wen's phone rang. The screen displayed "honey".
"Shh, honey." Guan Wen was a little nervous. Xiao Yue wisely silenced her phone.
Guan Wen's voice was as gentle and magnetic as ever: "Hmm, go buy it, go buy it. Women are meant to be pampered... Of course, I'll pay. Okay, see you tonight. Hmm!" Guan Wen kissed the phone. The woman's laughter came from the other end.
Xiao Yue gazed out the window at the street and saw a little girl from the countryside sitting in a corner under a tall building. Her clothes were too big and worn, and her large eyes looked at the passersby with a hint of confusion and fear. Was she lost? Where were the adults? A sudden wave of sadness washed over Xiao Yue.
When did this city, where she was born and raised, begin to feel so unfamiliar? When did she become so lonely? She hadn't contacted her parents in ages, and she wondered how her best friends were doing. Lately, she seemed obsessed, devoting all her free time to the man beside her. Even when telling her daughter stories at night, she would drift off into thought. But how much did she really know about this man, whose body she knew so intimately? What kind of person was he in her world? Sometimes, Xiao Yue felt that Guan Wen belonged to the dimly lit rooms of a hotel, the cramped spaces of a car; he didn't belong on sun-drenched streets. Several times at lunchtime, watching Guan Wen order food, she even wondered, "Who is this person across from me?"
What was she even doing? The thought of marrying Guan Wen had never crossed her mind. After her divorce, she had no interest in entering the "walled city" of marriage. Her excellent income meant she didn't need to rely on any man. It was only in the darkness of night that she felt lonely, impulsive, and longed for a man's strong hands to touch her burning body. And Guan Wen had given her exactly what she wanted. So, why did she feel empty and sour inside now? Guan Wen had given her more than just physical satisfaction, had he? There was also a feeling of tenderness and affection, making her act like a spoiled little woman. But this happiness, though as intense as a flash flood, was so fleeting, like a strong wind that swept through, and everything returned to loneliness.
This isn't love, it's lust. Love is a gentle stream, nourishing the heart. Lust is like a dry fire, leaving only ruin after it burns out. Isn't that so? Her loneliness remains deep; she still feels helpless when faced with difficulties, forcing herself to be strong and shoulder the responsibilities of a single mother.
Yesterday, a typhoon hit, bringing torrential rain. Xiao Yue couldn't get a ride to take her daughter to school. She called Guan Wen, hoping he could drive over and help. Guan Wen's voice on the phone was businesslike and serious, and he replied irrelevantly, "Traffic is congested, I'll be a little late for the meeting," before hanging up.
Xiao Yue guessed that his wife was sitting next to him, and he was taking her to work. So she had no choice but to let her daughter stand under the eaves while she held an umbrella and waited for a bus at the street corner in the wind. Finally, an empty bus drove by, and after she and her daughter sat down, she realized that her trouser legs were completely soaked. Her daughter's clothes were also quite wet. Her little face was cold from the wind.
Xiao Yue hadn't thought much about this yesterday. Since her divorce, she'd been both a father and a mother, and she'd gotten used to the hardships. But now, the image of her disheveled state from yesterday flashed through her mind, and Xiao Yue felt a pang of sadness. No matter how close she was to the men around her, she couldn't get their help when she was in her most difficult time. Was such a relationship meaningful? When did she become a woman who only cared about physical intimacy? Like this city, had she become someone no longer recognized?
"Hey, what's wrong?" Guan Wen asked.
Xiao Yue remained silent. Guan Wen reached out and gently stroked her thigh, kneading it tenderly from the outside to the inside. And so, in silence, the car drifted aimlessly down the street.

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Adultery - Chapter Four

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