Five jokes [in full]

The trains during the Spring Festival travel rush were so crowded. A girl next to me couldn't take it anymore and asked if I could squeeze in and sit for a while. But the seats meant for three were already occupied by four people, and there were even more people standing in the gaps between the seats. I couldn't possibly stand in such a small space... Just as I was hesitating, the girl was so exhausted that she didn't care about anything else. "I'm too tired, I'll sit on your lap," she said, and plopped down. Then, while chatting with me, she joked, "Actually, this isn't bad. I didn't expect to get a soft seat, oh..." Before she finished speaking, she stood up and exclaimed, "Oh my god, it seems I was too smug. The soft seat has turned into a hard seat!"

A female graduate student went to submit her thesis. The professor, who was very lecherous, held the thesis in his hand, but his eyes were fixed on the female graduate student. The graduate student said, "Your paper, looking at it from top to bottom, has two very prominent features; then it becomes rather bland; further on, it gets a bit rough; and at the very end, there's a glaring flaw!" The girl panicked and hurriedly asked, "What should we do?" The professor replied, "We'll talk about it later!" My

six-year-old niece just ran up to me mysteriously and said, "Uncle, Uncle, I have a secret to tell you, but I'm only telling you! My neighbor's little daughter, Chenchen, tried to commit suicide yesterday! I saw her stabbing herself with a cucumber!!!" I was stunned for three seconds, then completely bewildered…

A husband is challenging his wife's intelligence. The husband asked, "Honey, can you say something that makes me both happy and angry?" The wife was silent for a moment and then said, "I've discovered that among your friends, you're the only one who doesn't need Viagra."

Of the 365 days in a year, what day is most feared by men? What day is most feared by women? Man: Men fear January 31st. Woman: Women fear December 1st.

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Five jokes [in full]

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