Secretly passionate past

Looking back, I realize I truly began my pornography journey in junior high.
One day after school, a close friend accidentally rummaged through his bag and found a lot of pornographic
VCDs. That's when I was hooked, and I became
completely addicted .

However, back then, the pornographic films censored the sensitive areas, only showing
breasts and nipples. That was enough to make me blush, my heart race, and my veins bulge with rage
. After that, I went to video stores to find these films. Of course, the owners wouldn't display them
prominently, and they wouldn't easily sell to you unless you were a regular customer. Gradually,
I became and bought quite a few, mostly Category III films. Later, when DVDs came out, I watched
eight hours of a single film – that was when I reached the pinnacle of pornography viewing, with
the impressive size and depth of Western and Japanese films.

My long-standing fondness for fantasizing probably stems from watching
a lot of . In reality, I also have a fantasy object: my cousin. My cousin is
eight years older than me.

It happened after I started high school; since her house was close to the school, I stayed at her
house for a while. During that time, her husband was away on a business trip, and every night
after she came home, my cousin would cook for me. Our families were quite close, and my cousin and I had played together
since childhood so there was no awkwardness between us.

It was summer then, and she was wearing a sleeveless nightgown, very see-through. You could clearly
see that she was only wearing underwear underneath, and her nipples were large and prominent.
The neckline was also very low, and every time she bent over, her underwear was completely exposed. Her
breasts weren't large, to be precise, somewhere between an A and a B cup. But the shape was particularly good;
from the side, they looked like two commas. She hadn't been married long at the time and hadn't had children yet,
so they were probably firm, haha.

Sometimes I felt embarrassed to look, and often felt very awkward. But
deep down really wanted to look, and even more so, I wanted to touch them, but reason prevailed over impulse—to put
it bluntly, I was just a coward. What drove me crazy was when she sat on the bed with
her legs together, bent back, and leaning against the headboard reading a book. She was
a nurse, I think, studying for some kind of certification, but that wasn't the point. The point was that her genitals,
through a thin layer of underwear, were so openly exposed in front of me.
Thinking back, the flesh on her vulva was really thick and bulging; in today's terms,
it would be called a "steamed bun vulva." She was wearing very ordinary cotton underwear,
and through it, I could only see a thick patch of dark pubic hair. That
was truly an eye-opener! My penis immediately became hard. Since it was summer and I was only wearing
underwear and shirtless, you can imagine how incredibly embarrassing it was. I had to make an excuse about being too hot
and go to the bathroom to shower, covering my crotch with one hand as I rushed in.

While showering, I kept replaying the scene in my mind; it
was far more exciting than watching porn—it was blatant temptation! What else could I do but start masturbating while
showering, masturbating until I was completely lost in the moment. So much so that after I finished washing, my cousin asked me
why it took me so long to wash, since I usually wash so quickly. I said it was hot
and I was sweating a lot, so I scrubbed off the dirt for ages. Little did she know I wasn't scrubbing off dirt, I was scrubbing my penis, haha.

Sometimes, when she goes out to buy groceries, I rummage through her wardrobe. I find a
small storage box, and when I open it, it's full of her underwear. There are quite a few styles,
but unfortunately, none of them are sexy lingerie; they're all just small triangles. Seeing her underwear always reminds me of
the "black forest" (referring to the area between the legs), and just thinking about it makes me want to masturbate. But then I think,
what if I masturbate while looking at her underwear and ejaculate on it? I'm so horny that I don't care about anything
else, and my semen sprays onto her underwear, just
like . Good times are always short-lived. I only stayed at her house for a few days before her husband
came back, and I went back to my school dormitory.

I used to think that I wasn't a pervert or a fetishist, but later I realized that I wasn't. I had
just found a suitable way to vent my frustrations. At the time, I
didn't dare to touch my cousin inappropriately. I was timid, but deep down I was also a bit of a pervert.
Even now
, I really want to know what my cousin would think if she saw the dried, hard, white, thick semen on her underwear. Maybe she would curse, "My cousin is such a pervert," and then
wash it again herself.

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