My first time

In the autumn of 1976, as China was immersed in its most sorrowful days, my father, who usually enjoyed drinking,
was
imprisoned My mother, from a landlord family, was also sent to a remote farm after repeated criticisms
. I, at fifteen, was taken to live with my distant cousin in the countryside. That autumn, the whole world seemed gray to me.

Coming from the scornful and contemptuous gazes of my city neighbors and classmates to this rural village far from the city, I
found a sense of relief after escaping. Although my uncle's village was poor like any other rural area,
it was beautiful beyond compare. The evergreen mountains gave me a sense of security, a kind of refuge.

Because my maternal grandfather was a landlord, my uncle finally found a
woman from a landlord family when he was thirty. My aunt's name was Xiu. Xiu was an exceptionally beautiful woman, but because of her poor family background, no one in the vicinity dared to marry her.
Years of repressed life had shaped her into a particularly gentle and unassuming person.

My uncle had been married for almost seven years and hadn't had any children, though I didn't know whose fault it was. In those years, my uncle
's family lived a much easier life than other families with many children, which made it possible for him to accept me, a growing child
still developing. My aunt, just over thirty, was already beautiful
, and because she hadn't had children, she was noticeably different from the other rural women in the neighborhood; her face and figure still retained the beauty of her youth.

When my aunt first saw me and took my simple luggage, she cried. Her tears made me
feel a rare warmth; perhaps she
was saddened by the thought that I, as a young child, would have to bear the same invisible pressure as her in the future. From my aunt's tears, I found an
invisible support.

My uncle and aunt still lived in the house left by my grandfather, but they only had
a small room of about ten square meters; the rest of the rooms were used as offices by the production team. In my uncle's room, besides a
bed and a table, there were two wooden trunks that my aunt had brought with her when she got married. To settle me in, my uncle cut down several large bamboo stalks from
the bamboo grove and wove them into a bamboo bed, placing it under the window. That gave me a place to stay.

In those days, life in the countryside was hard. Because of my uncle and aunt's humble origins, even my very hardworking
uncle only earned eight work points, and my aunt earned even less. My arrival made my already impoverished family even
poorer. To improve their lives, after finishing work in the production team, my uncle would often take me to the ditches in the fields
to catch loaches and small fish, and to the mountains to catch small birds and rabbits. Gradually, I learned many
skills for survival in the countryside and often helped my uncle with farm work. Although poor, my aunt managed the household
with great order; the things in the rooms, though old, were kept very clean.

Slowly, I adapted to rural life. Under the care of my uncle and aunt, I, who
had grown up in the city, somewhat forgot the pain caused by my father's drinking. Only in the deep, quiet of the night do I often think
of my parents far away.

One night, when I woke up crying from a nightmare, I heard
strange At fifteen or sixteen, I understood what those sounds meant.

"Be quiet! Be careful not to wake Qiangzi."

"It's okay, he won't wake up at this time."

"Hmm! No!"

"No, I want it, I'll be quiet."

My uncle's breathing grew heavier. My aunt was also moaning softly in the midst of my uncle's passion.

"I really want a child,"

my aunt whispered between moans.

My uncle silently moved vigorously on my aunt's body.

What followed was a series of intense, passionate encounters that made every vein in my body
throb as I slept on the bamboo bed, in the throes of puberty. By the moonlight streaming through the window, I saw my uncle and aunt's naked bodies writhing in passion
. My aunt, full-figured beneath my uncle, was lost in his caresses. After a period of intense passion, the bed
returned to the quiet of the night, a quiet that prevented me from falling asleep. For a very long time, I
admired .

The next morning, I felt like a child who had done something wrong, unable to face my aunt's gaze. Thinking back to the night,
I noticed a beauty in my aunt that I had never seen before. After this experience, the night became
something looked forward to. Many nights, I longed for that passion to reignite, and I also learned to
masturbate during those passions.

Autumn passed quickly, and during the off-season, the production team had to send strong laborers to the county to build a hydroelectric power station. My uncle, who was born into
a poor family but was physically strong, couldn't escape this task.

On the night before he left, my uncle eagerly repeated his usual intense masturbation.

After their passion subsided, the uncle said to his aunt, "I took Qiangzi's blanket to the construction site. Qiangzi
can sleep with you tomorrow."

"Really? Qiangzi's all grown up now."

"What will we do then? We don't have any blankets at home. It's getting cold; how will he sleep on the bamboo bed without one? He's still
a child. Is it alright?"

His aunt said, "Qiangzi is still a child? He's as tall as you now."

"It's alright. I might be gone for several months. If you want,
I ."

"You silly boy, what are you saying?"

"Ha, ha, maybe I can even get you pregnant. Don't you want a child?"

"You silly boy, you're getting more and more outrageous."

"Really, I'm telling the truth. Just don't let anyone else know."

"Go away, you silly boy!"

The uncle hugged his aunt again, repeating that passion on her body once more, as if the previous conversation
had rekindled the desire within him.

The next day, my uncle rolled up the quilt on my bed into a small bundle. As he left home, he said to me
, "Qiangzi, take good care of your aunt at home."

"Yes, I will, don't worry."

Because each family in the production team only had a small plot of land, besides cooking and washing clothes, rural families didn't have much to do in
those days. Usually, besides helping my aunt cook, I would go to the plot to do
some farm work that I had learned. Sometimes I would also learn from my uncle to catch loaches and fish in the river and ditches. My aunt and I were very happy
when .

Every night, I slept beside my aunt. Each time I recalled the conversation between my uncle and aunt the night before my uncle left, my
heart would race with excitement. Countless nights I couldn't sleep. At first, I kept a certain
distance , but whenever she slept soundly, I would gaze at her beauty by the moonlight. Countless times
, the scent of her breath lulled me to sleep. As the cold wind outside grew stronger, the distance between my aunt and me
grew closer. Countless times, back to back, I felt her warmth. Countless times, I longed for the cold wind to intensify,
countless times, I dreamt of passionate love with her, accompanied by her heartbeat.

In one dream, I dreamt I was holding a beautiful woman, caressing her breasts. The woman
's breasts in the dream were exactly like my aunt's breasts in the moonlight. A surge of excitement woke me, only to find myself embracing
my aunt beside me, my underwear stained with semen. Even more shocking, my aunt was
staring . I suddenly realized the terrible mistake I had made in my dream. I turned away, wishing there was
a crack so I could escape this awkward situation.

"Qiangzi, were you dreaming?"

"Yes, Auntie, I'm sorry."

"It's alright, our Qiangzi's grown up, starting to think about women, huh?"

"Auntie, it's my fault."

"Silly child, it's not your fault."

"Auntie, you really don't blame me?"

"Yes, go change your pants, don't catch a cold."

After changing my pants and sleeping next to my aunt again, I didn't dare get too close, sleeping far away at
the far end of the bed.

My aunt said to me, "Sleep closer, it's cold without the blanket."

I gently moved closer to the body of my aunt, whom I had just hugged. Excitement made it impossible for me to fall asleep. Listening to
my aunt's soft breathing, I so wanted to hug that beautiful body beside me again while I was awake.

"Qiangzi, can't you sleep?"

"Mmm."

"Qiangzi's almost sixteen, he could have gotten married back then."

"Auntie, don't laugh at me." "

Qiangzi, you're so strong, you just pressed me so hard it hurt."

"Why didn't you stop me, Auntie?"

"I think you were talking in your sleep, I was afraid of scaring you, so I didn't dare interrupt you."

"Auntie is so kind, I'll sleep on the bamboo bed from now on."

"No, it's too cold, and besides, I'm cold sleeping alone. I feel much warmer with Qiangzi by my side."

"What if you have this dream again?" "

Let him dream, besides, it's very comfortable to hold Qiangzi."

"Really? Auntie really doesn't blame me."

"Yes."

"Don't tell Uncle about this."

"Silly child, how could I? This is our secret."

"Auntie is so kind."

"When men grow up, they all want women..."

Auntie talked to me about things between men and women. This was probably my first sex education lesson in my life.
I learned from Auntie how people come into this world. Gradually, I developed an inexplicable
feeling . I nestled close to her, a warmth making my blood boil again.

"Aunt, you're so beautiful!"

"Really?"

"Yes, I want to hug you again."

My aunt remained silent, and in the moonlight, I noticed her blushing from behind her. I gently placed my hand on her
waist, feeling her lean slightly against me. This slight lean encouraged me to hug her
tightly again. I smelled the fragrance of her hair behind her ear, a fragrance that drew me to press my lips to her ear.

I tried to slowly move my hand from her waist to her chest. When my hand touched her full breasts,
my aunt let out a soft sigh.

"Qiangzi, no!" My aunt pressed my hand to stop me.

I placed my hand on her chest, feeling her heartbeat in my palm. I buried my head deeply in her neck,
slowly feeling my aunt relax in my arms. I tentatively unbuttoned her blouse. My aunt wanted to stop me
but then gave up. When my hands touched her bare breasts, my aunt's body softened even more. Her soft
, full breasts made my blood boil, and I couldn't help but kiss them, like a thirsty
baby kissing its mother in her arms. My aunt moaned as I kissed her and hugged me tightly.

She was intoxicated by my embrace, her flushed face making me want to kiss her again. When my lips approached
hers , she tried to pull away. From her slightly parted lips, I smelled a sweet fragrance. When I kissed
her red lips, I tasted a sweetness on her tongue, and my tongue searched
for that sweetness between her lips and teeth.

"Qiangzi, no, don't torture me anymore,"

I silently repeated my kisses. Her clothes were removed piece by piece with my kisses, and when she
was completely naked before me, I knelt beside her and took off my own clothes. When I embraced her completely
naked body again, a surge of passion made her hug me wildly and return my kisses fiercely. My
tender body rubbed against hers, and as I imitated my uncle's frenzy on her body, I couldn't find
a way to go deeper.

"Qiangzi, no, we can't."

"Auntie, I want it."

"Really, no, listen to me, just like this."

My aunt stroked my swollen lower body, trying to release my passion, but I didn't want to give up and
thrust my swollen lower body between her legs again. My aunt tried to stop me again, but under my passion, she began to give up
her resistance. She guided me into her body with her hands, and in the wetness, I slowly entered her
warm body. An excitement made me stay in that tenderness, quietly feeling that warmth.

My entry made the pores on her body swell, and a faint blush spread from her face to her whole body. Her
moans grew stronger with my thrusts. In a very short time, a
spasm completely released my passion. I collapsed onto her body, quietly enjoying her embrace.
The sweat between our skin made her even softer and warmer. I buried my face in her neck again and
slowly drifted into a sweet dream.

When the rooster's crow woke me from my sweet dream, my aunt was already up. I smelled her lingering
fragrance on my pillow, and a deep sense of regret made me afraid to leave the room. Just then, my aunt came in from outside. I felt shy...
Lying in bed, I dared not face her.

My aunt saw I was awake and brought in a bowl of boiled eggs from outside: "Qiangzi, eat these eggs."

In those days, a bowl of eggs was such a hearty breakfast. My face flushed, I took the eggs: "Aunt, you
should have a couple too."

"You eat them, you're growing."

I knew this bowl of eggs was my aunt's way of making up for it. I swallowed the warm eggs, bite by bite, feeling warmth
spread through my entire being.

The days that followed were the most beautiful of my life. My aunt's thoughtfulness and care immersed me in
a double embrace of romantic and maternal love

. The days that followed were the most beautiful of my life. My aunt's thoughtfulness and care immersed me in
a double embrace of romantic and maternal love.

In the blink of an eye, my uncle had been at the construction site for a month. One cold winter night, my aunt and I had just fallen asleep when I
heard my uncle knocking on the door. My uncle couldn't resist missing my aunt any longer. After finishing his work on the construction site,
he traveled over forty miles along mountain roads to return home. Forty miles was an incredibly long distance in those days when there were no cars or boats.

My aunt quickly lit a fire to cook and warm him up.

She asked, "Why are you back so late?"

"I missed you. I sneaked back; I have to go back tomorrow morning," my uncle said, gazing at my aunt with deep affection.

At that moment, I couldn't bear to meet his gaze. Silently, I brought him water to wash his feet.

I knew then how precious this night was to my uncle, who had traveled dozens of miles.
Seeing my uncle and aunt talking so affectionately, I said to him, "I'm sleepy, I'm going to sleep."

I retreated to the innermost part of the bed, turning my back to the edge and pretending to be asleep.

My uncle and aunt sat at the table, chatting intimately. After I slowly fell asleep,
they whispered sweet nothings to each other.

"I missed you so much! Did you miss me while I was away?"

"What do you think?"

"It's too cold, let's get into bed."

My uncle and aunt gently moved to my feet. My uncle couldn't wait to hug my aunt and get intimate.

"Don't move, be careful Qiangzi wakes up."

"No way, young people are fast asleep right now, they won't wake up."

My aunt said sadly to my uncle, "You've lost so much weight this month, it must be very hard at the construction site."

"It's okay, I just want you so much."

"Hmm! No! Wait a minute, Qiangzi will wake up."

My uncle said, "Qiangzi is getting stronger and stronger, can you handle sleeping with him every day? Have you thought about having him?"

"You rascal!"

My uncle teased, "You haven't secretly had Qiangzi all along, have you?"

My aunt remained silent, and my uncle sensed something from her silence. He then pressed, "Did you
sleep with Qiangzi?"

My aunt still didn't speak, and at this moment my heart was pounding in my throat.

"Speak up," my uncle pressed again. "Speak up, I don't blame you.
Sleeping with this young man every day, it's no wonder you're upset."

"You really don't blame me?"

"Yes, of course. Didn't I tell you before I left? Did you sleep with Qiangzi?"

"Yes."

A long silence followed. My heart pounded even harder. I didn't know what would happen next;
a pang of regret pierced my soul.

"Didn't you say you didn't blame me? Are you angry?" my aunt asked my silent uncle.

"I really don't blame you, I just don't know what to say," my uncle replied calmly.

"It's my fault, don't blame Qiangzi." "

I won't blame either of you, as long as you're happy. Was it comfortable sleeping with Qiangzi?"

my aunt didn't answer his question.

Hearing this, my heart finally calmed down a bit. I could only feel my uncle becoming increasingly aroused at my feet. When
I heard my uncle's breathing become more and more rapid, my aunt also let out a familiar moan.

"Hmm! Be gentle, don't wake Qiangzi."

"What's there to be afraid of? He's already slept with you, I'd like him to wake up and see." "

You rascal!"

"Really, don't believe me? I'll wake him up."

"No way!"

"I really want to see you and Qiangzi looking sexy."

"You rascal, are you really willing to do that?"

"Of course I'm willing, as long as you're happy."

Then, with my uncle's increasingly vigorous movements, they completely relaxed their guard against me, and I,
on the other side of the bed, was infected by their passion. I silently read the love flowing from their breathing
, enduring the torment that passion brought me. After wave after wave of frenzy, the other side of the bed
returned to its original calm.

After his breathing returned to normal, my uncle calmly said to my aunt, "Sleeping with Qiangzi is fine, but be careful not to let anyone
know ."

"Yes, I know that."

"If only I could get pregnant. Don't you want a child?"

After a moment of silence, my aunt asked my uncle, "If you really get pregnant with Qiangzi's child, will you keep it? You
won't ?"

"How could I? Since I can't let you have a child, I can't let you lose the right to be a mother for the rest of your life
. The child you give birth to is my child."

My aunt said with soft sobs, "In the years since we got married, I've always wanted a child.
The women often laugh at me, saying I'm a hen that can't lay eggs."

"Let Qiangzi try harder during this time."

"Go away! Stop talking, go to sleep. You have to travel tomorrow."

My aunt pushed my uncle away apologetically.

The room returned to complete silence. Only the wind outside the window played a low melody in the bamboo forest behind the house, and I
slowly fell asleep with a heavy heart to this low melody.

The next day, when I woke up, my uncle had already gone to the construction site, and my aunt lit the fire in the main room as usual.
Like a pardoned criminal, I lowered my head and swallowed the breakfast my aunt brought me.

In the days that followed, my aunt and I continued our occasional passionate encounters in the darkness, just as before. But
after each passion, a heavy burden always weighed on my heart. Yet, whenever night fell, I couldn't escape
the spell passed down from my aunt, a spell that had led me to embrace her and go wild countless times,
only to leave behind that invisible pressure.

During this time, although I still frequently showed affection to my aunt as before, our relationship in everyday life...
The initial warmth was gone. We didn't talk much during the day, and my aunt probably sensed my awkwardness.
Sometimes at night, she would silently reject my passion.

Before I knew it, it was the Spring Festival of 1977. My uncle returned home from the construction site, and my mother's
life in the countryside ended. Because of the unresolved political events, she hadn't been assigned work yet. My mother also came from the city to
the countryside to celebrate the New Year with us. When I saw my mother again, she looked several times older than when we parted. My mother recuperated in
her hometown for a while. After the Spring Festival, she took me back to the city.

The moment I parted from my aunt, a sadness I couldn't understand appeared in her eyes. In
front of my mother and uncle, I didn't know how to say goodbye to my aunt, feeling a mix of attachment and a desire to escape
. I silently bid farewell to my aunt, who had brought me the greatest joy during my most difficult time.

Not long after returning to the city, my mother received news that my aunt was pregnant…

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