My experience with a man last night

Last night I finally went to see him again. We've known each other online for over a year, but we only met once a few days ago. I had a fairly good impression of him, and he vaguely hinted that he liked me. (The first time we met, I wore a dress. After we had dinner together, we went to the riverbank for a walk. He held my hand and then kissed me. I was kind of stunned and didn't object...) Yesterday, while I was on duty in the office, he called, saying he had just returned from xx and was passing through xx city (where I work). He said he wanted to meet me and asked me to have dinner with him. He said he was tired from his business trip, so he booked a room on the third floor of the xx hotel to rest and wait for me to finish work before we ate together. I agreed and went after get off work. But I was still a little suspicious, vaguely feeling that something was off, but I went anyway. Sigh... When I arrived at the xx Western restaurant, he had been waiting there for a long time. He looked very energetic, probably just finished showering. He very gentlemanly asked me what I wanted to eat, and I said anything was fine. Then we ordered some dishes... During dinner, he cut the steak and put it in my bowl, constantly adding food to my plate, acting like a couple. (Several words omitted here, as it's not the main point.) Later, I said, "You're new to XX city and don't know the area well, do you want me to show you around?" He said, "Let's go to the supermarket. I want to buy some things to drink upstairs, since I don't like alcohol." We bought some drinks and snacks and came out. It was almost 9 pm then, and I asked him if he wanted to go somewhere else. He said he wanted to go to the park for some fresh air but was worried about mosquitoes. I said, "Then you rest first, I'll go back." He suddenly told me he had booked a double room (the kind with two beds). I felt a jolt, and abruptly pulled my hand away. He said seriously, "I don't mean anything by it. I just want to chat with you. If I really had any ulterior motives, I would have booked a single room. I really want to spend more time with you..." I felt like I was under a spell. Although I felt uneasy, I went anyway. My intention was to sit for a while, chat, and then go home around 10 pm. (PS: I once read online that you should never go into a single man's room at night, because once you go in, it's hard to get out. It's true! A word of caution to all the ladies!) After we went in, he changed into slippers, and I sat down to watch TV. We chatted for a while, and then he suddenly stood up and asked if I was afraid of him. I said no, why would I? He wouldn't bully me. He said, "Look at you, you were letting me hold your hand outside just now, and now you're sitting so far away from me." He then walked towards me, and I became increasingly nervous...He was so close to me, I could almost feel his breath and smell the soap on his body. I admit I had a bit of a crush on him, and for a moment I was a little infatuated. He said he would just kiss me, so I lowered my head. He cupped my face and said my eyes were beautiful, my eyelashes were mesmerizing. Then his lips pressed against mine, warm and wet. I felt a little breathless, and then his tongue slid in. Slowly, I became intoxicated (writing this makes me feel really shameless, I bet on myself), but my subconscious was still clear. I told him I would leave soon, that it was just a kiss, and that I couldn't do anything else. I promised he could, but then he said he wanted to touch my breasts. I initially disagreed, but he covered my mouth with his own while putting his hands inside my clothes. Later, our breathing became more and more rapid. He took off my bra from underneath, grabbed my breasts, and kept kneading them. I couldn't help but moan. He slowly reached his hand down to my crotch. I was already quite wet, but I suddenly seemed to snap out of it and grabbed his hand, stopping him. He pleaded, saying he wouldn't force me to do anything I didn't want to do, he just wanted to kiss me and touch me. Sigh, women, so many mistakes are made because we're too soft-hearted and easily moved... I let him untie my clothes one by one, and we fell onto the bed, tightly embracing each other. He kissed me passionately—or rather, sucked—from my mouth to my breasts, all the way down, lingering on my wet triangle. He gently licked, from shallow to deep, an unbearable tingling and itching sensation. I couldn't help but cry out... He smiled smugly and kissed my face again. I could clearly feel his penis pressing tightly against me, almost at the entrance, ready to enter with just a little more force. I suddenly thought of my boyfriend, a wonderful man. We're in a long-distance relationship; my workplace is a three-hour drive from his, so we only see each other once or twice a month. I remember once I was sick with a stomachache and could only drink porridge for a whole week, unable to eat anything else. He was busy with work at the time, but after talking to me on the phone the night before and finding out I was sick, he rushed over to see me first thing the next morning! I was so surprised. When he told me he was downstairs, I thought he was joking. But when I saw him standing there, covered in sweat, my first reaction was to run over and hug him tightly. I was so touched, I almost cried... I'm getting off-topic again. I hope my friends on Tianya who want to throw bricks at me will let me finish before they do, okay? I know I'm not a good woman, and I really hate myself right now! I don't know how incomprehensible it is to be lying under a man and thinking about another man before we're supposed to have sex, but that's how I felt at the time. I was really thinking about my boyfriend. Usually, he would call me around this time to chat, but today my phone was off! I now realize women have such strange ways of thinking; some things are beyond their control. I was distracted for a moment, but let's get back to it. His penis was already a little inside when I suddenly pushed him away. He was startled and asked what was wrong. Looking into his eyes, I can't describe how I felt. I said, "Don't do this. You don't even love me. What if I get pregnant?" (I really don't understand why I said that; I want to slap myself.) He said, "Then can I not ejaculate inside?" I said, "No, that's too dangerous." Then he told me to wait while he went to buy condoms. I thought I'd get dressed and leave after he left. But it turned out the hotel had them. He came back in a flash. I looked at him nervously, and he pinched my cheek, half-jokingly saying, "Little devil, you're not thinking of leaving me alone, are you?" Before I could answer, he kissed me again, sealing my lips. I have to admit his kiss was incredibly intoxicating. He eventually penetrated me, and I asked if he was wearing a condom. He said he couldn't wear one now, and that he'd only stay inside for a moment until he got hard before putting it on. I actually believed him! (A word of advice to any ladies in similar situations: never let a man penetrate you without a condom, because once he's inside, he won't want to leave unless he ejaculates.) Then I felt him going faster and faster. Because I was quite wet, the thrusting was very smooth. I felt him using more and more force, and I even started to feel some pain (I've only had sex twice with my boyfriend; I was a virgin before). I wanted him to stop, but he was so strong and powerful, pressing down on me so I could barely move. It took him a while to stop. It felt like I was being raped. Then he pulled out, and I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking everything was over. But I felt a lot of fluid down there, and the sheets were soaked. Because I'm not very experienced, I didn't know what was happening and was wondering why I was so wet. Later, I went to the bathroom to wash up and came back. He then said, "Sorry, I ejaculated inside me!" Oh my god, I felt so wronged, I almost cried. He said it was okay, I could just buy two pills tomorrow. I said taking pills is bad for my health, it might cause spots on my face, but he hugged me and said it wouldn't, told me not to worry. I remembered when I was with my boyfriend before, no matter how much he couldn't hold back, he would pull out and ejaculate outside, or insist on using a condom. I said I could take pills then, but he said no, he was afraid they would be bad for my health. What a stark contrast! From the day I gave myself to him, my boyfriend has treated me like his wife, thinking of everything for me. But what about me? I've been online too much, and I actually met someone I met online and we had sex. I really don't know how to face him anymore. Suddenly I felt so lost, so sad, the previous pleasure was drowned in sadness. He seemed to sense my unhappiness and came over to hug me. (As soon as he hugged me, he started groping me all over, and even pulled my hand to touch his penis.) He seemed determined to continue, but I pushed him away and said, "I'm sorry, I don't feel like doing this anymore, I'm in a bad mood." He gently asked me what was wrong, and I said it wasn't his problem, it was my own. Then I coldly told him to go to the other bed and sleep. This time he obeyed and went to sleep, telling me to cover myself with the blanket before falling asleep so I wouldn't catch a cold. Later, everyone was asleep, and I woke up in the middle of the night, just as he woke up. He asked if I was cold and if I wanted the air conditioning turned down. I said I was a little cold, so he turned the air conditioning down a bit. Because he wasn't wearing any clothes at the time, and his penis was pointing directly at me, he said he wanted to hold me while I slept, afraid I would be cold. I mumbled "Mmm" half asleep. Then he crawled into my blanket and hugged me tightly. I said, "Let's sleep." He said he wanted me to hold his penis while I slept, and I felt it was even bigger than before. I said to him, "Why are you like this even when you're sleeping? Get some rest." His face was contorted in pain, saying it was so swollen and painful, and he asked me to give him a blowjob. Good heavens! I've never given my boyfriend a blowjob before, and I don't know how, but he seemed to be in real pain, so I helped him by touching it with my hand. But the more I touched it, the bigger it seemed to get. He then touched my genitals, making me very wet. He flipped me over and thrust in all at once, and I couldn't help but cry out. He kept thrusting, and I could feel how strong he was; the bed seemed to be shaking, and I was trembling. Then he made me sit on top of him, and it actually felt so good. He supported my waist and moved back and forth, the sounds of flesh touching flesh and my juices mingling, a "crackling" sound as he pounded against me. My cries grew louder and louder. He flipped me over and entered me from behind, but I couldn't take it anymore; it was so swollen and painful, and I felt a little dizzy. He told me to rest, then lifted one of my legs and entered me from the side. I had only seen these positions described online before; I didn't know I could try them myself. For a moment, desire overwhelmed my reason. In my daze, I felt him slowly moaning, and his movements became faster and harder. I thought he was about to ejaculate, but he showed no intention of pulling out. I told him not to ejaculate inside, or I'd get pregnant. He said okay, but he still didn't stop. I don't know where I got the strength, but I pushed him away, and he ejaculated, spilling a lot onto the bed, and I was soaking wet down there too. This time I was really angry, feeling like I'd been tricked. He only cared about his own pleasure, without any regard for the consequences, forcing himself to ejaculate inside me twice without using a condom. I grabbed a towel and went to the bathroom, frantically washing myself with water. Looking at myself in the mirror, expressionless, I felt like a stranger... At that moment, I only had one thought: to leave this place as soon as possible, otherwise the regret in my heart would continue to torment me. I needed to calm down, but when I looked at the time, it was already 3 a.m., and it wasn't safe to go back, so I came back to sleep and ignored him. He didn't go to wash up and fell asleep soon after, but I couldn't fall asleep. Although I really wanted to sleep, I vaguely heard him snoring. Thinking about what happened tonight, I became much more awake. He //jx4111.How did my business trip end up in my city? We're not even from the same city, and the distance is so far. I feel increasingly uncomfortable, filled with disgust for this man. I don't understand what I just did. I want to cry, but I can't. I haven't cried in a long time. I cried the night I gave my virginity to my boyfriend, and he comforted me for a long time before I fell asleep. But now I won't cry. I don't want my eyes to stay on him! I keep staring at the time, wishing it would get light soon. Finally, I saw the first light outside the window. I got up, took a shower, got dressed, and was about to leave. He seemed to be awake. I said, "I'm leaving." He offered to take me, but I said no, I know how to get home myself. He said, "Okay, you have to go to work. I'm going to sleep until 10 o'clock. I didn't sleep well last night." He asked me to kiss him before I left, and even reached out to pull me away. I shook off his hand and calmly said, "Don't come looking for me again. I don't want to see you again. Bye!" He looked at me with a hint of surprise. I didn't say anything more, turned around, opened the door, and left. I didn't take the elevator; instead, I walked down the stairs. Listening to the echo of my high heels on the floor, I felt completely drained. Many people talk about one-night stands... I don't know if this counts as a one-night stand, but I guess it did in his eyes. At first, I thought he liked and respected me more. We'd had dinner twice, and he seemed very refined and gentlemanly. Turns out, once the door is closed and the lights are off, it's the same. I'm not a good woman either; subconsciously, I have a little restlessness. I hope all you ladies who are curious about one-night stands will never try it. It's not a good thing, because the guilt will far outweigh any so-called pleasure you might get. Walking down the street, I headed straight for the pharmacy. Because it was so early, many pharmacies weren't open yet. I walked quite a distance before finally finding one open. My face flushed, I went in. The female clerk asked what I wanted to buy, and I said they had emergency contraception. My voice sounded like it was just coming from my throat. She said they did. And then... They got me a box of Yuting (a type of emergency contraceptive). I read about it online; it's supposed to be a post-coital contraceptive, but it's very harmful because it works by causing the uterine lining to shed, preventing sperm and egg from implanting. Also, if taken in the two weeks before menstruation, it can cause vaginal bleeding, and people may experience vomiting, menstrual irregularities, and facial blemishes. I've come to this point; I really have no other choice. Thinking about my boyfriend, he loves me so much, and I haven't taken birth control pills just to satisfy him, but he won't let me, saying it's bad for my health. I'm getting more and more upset. My boyfriend said if I get pregnant, I'll have the baby, and he'll marry me. I know I have to do this; I can't do anything to hurt him anymore. I told the clerk I wanted a box and a bottle of vaginal wash. That online friend, who's so sexually experienced, insisted on not using condoms, saying they cause allergies. I don't understand why I believed him. Now I'm starting to worry about my health; the more I think about it, the more scared I get. I hurriedly took a taxi back to my place. As soon as I opened the door, I threw down my handbag and ran to the bathroom. I took off all my clothes and scrubbed my skin relentlessly with soap, washing every inch of my body. I don't remember how many times I washed, but I still felt so dirty. My skin was red in some places. Looking at myself in the mirror, I was terrified. I curled up in a corner, closed my eyes, and let the showerhead pour over my head… I couldn't tell if it was water or tears; I only felt a slightly salty and bitter taste on my lips… I checked the time; it was almost 8 o'clock. Time to go to work. I wiped away my tears, got dressed, and continued working. I really wanted to take a day off, but there was too much work to do. I'm not some rich heiress; I have to work too. I need to support myself, and I'll also reflect on my actions. If it happens again, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself. I arrived at the office, poured myself a glass of water, and took the emergency contraceptive pill. I turned on my computer, went into stealth mode on QQ (we sometimes communicate with advertising companies via QQ to exchange pictures), added him to my blacklist, grabbed my phone, and deleted his number. I don't know if he'll call, but I hope this is the end of it. If he contacts me again, I'll have to get a new SIM card as soon as possible. That's my story. Now my biggest worry is whether to be honest with my boyfriend. Although he's very good to me, he's also very anxious about me. Once, I jokingly texted him, "You're angry and ignoring me, but plenty of other guys are after me!" He replied after a long time, saying, "I hope you won't say things like that again. No matter how magnanimous a person is, they can be selfish towards their partner unless they don't love them!" I'm really dizzy now, and I don't even know what to do. If I've realized my mistake, will God give me a chance to change?

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My experience with a man last night

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