Mother's struggle

The Lunar New Year should be a joyous occasion, and even with the impact of the pandemic, things should still be the same. However, because of what I did last night, a strange atmosphere filled the house.
No matter how I tried to talk to her, my mother completely ignored me, making me feel very awkward and even a little helpless. After all, sleeping with my own mother isn't something to be proud of, and I couldn't ask anyone for advice. If word got out, social death and disgrace would be the least of my worries. I couldn't think of a solution, so I could only try my best to please my mother, but unfortunately, she didn't appreciate it at all.
Three or four days have passed, and during that time, my mother has barely said a word to me, just "eat," "eat," "eat."
The agonizing cold war was making me increasingly depressed. Not to mention, I'm someone who loves to go out and can't stand staying home. Growing increasingly anxious, I finally couldn't sit still any longer and volunteered to go shopping with my mother. Fully masked, I ventured out of the neighborhood after a long absence. The streets were deserted. I considered taking off my mask to get some fresh air, but after a moment's thought, I decided against it and went straight to the supermarket to buy what I needed. On the way back, I passed a pharmacy and, for some reason, went in and bought a box of emergency contraceptives.
I dawdled for over an hour before finally getting home. Before I could even press the electronic lock, the door slammed open from the inside. My mother, wearing a mask and holding a spray bottle of medical alcohol, coldly asked, "Why did it take you so long to buy something? Where have you been?" Before I could answer, I heard her say, "Close your eyes." She then proceeded to thoroughly disinfect me, even my feet. After disinfecting myself, I put down my purchases and sat on the sofa, touching the emergency contraceptives in my pocket, wondering how to give them to my mother and use it as a way to ease the tension.
My mind raced, constantly rehearsing my lines, and several hours passed before I finally snapped out of it all, only snapping back
to reality when my mother put down her phone to cook. After hesitating for a moment, just as I was about to go into the kitchen to find a topic to discuss with my mother about Yuting, her phone rang. I glanced at it and saw a WeChat message from my mother's best friend, Aunt Zhang. I hadn't intended to peek at my mother's WeChat messages, but the message displayed on the lock screen left me speechless for a long time.
[Zhang Meilan: Old Jiang, you asked me to find you a few potential partners, and I've found some. I'll send you their WeChat contacts later; you can chat with them.]
Potential partners? What kind of partners? Could it be what I'm thinking? With a nervous heart, I unlocked my mother's phone, opened her WeChat, glanced at the chat history, and my heart sank.
"Zhang Meilan, I remember you said last time you knew a lot of high-quality men, right?" "What's wrong, Old Jiang? Feeling pampered? Finally couldn't stand the loneliness anymore?" "Pah, don't talk nonsense. I just want you to help me find someone I can settle down with. The kids are growing up; they'll forget their mothers after they get married. It'll be so hard for me to be all alone." "I don't believe you." "Believe it or not!"
"Old Jiang, seriously, aren't you just looking for men?"
"Zhang Meilan! Can you be serious? I just want to find a companion." "...Who are you kidding! With makeup on, you look like you're in your early thirties at most. You're telling me you want to find a companion?
You're just lusting after men, what's there to be ashamed of? The thing in your drawer is definitely not as satisfying as using a real one. You're at the age where you're like a wolf in sheep's clothing. Before, you were hesitant to find someone because you were shy, but now that you're about to graduate and go out to work, you'll meet some young people who definitely won't want to come back to live with an old woman like you, so you're finally going to find someone?" "Zhang Meilan, can you stop making dirty jokes? If you keep this up, do you believe I'll tell your husband about your affair!" "Okay, okay, I won't tease you anymore. Tell me what kind of person you want, and I'll look for someone for you." ...I was a little confused and at a loss. I knew why my mother wanted to find a partner—it was because of that New Year's Eve. But for the past ten years, it's always just been my mother and me. If suddenly there's another person, or even if that person kicks me out, what am I supposed to do?
I understood that after breaking the taboo, my mother and I could never go back to the way things were.
I panicked, so much so that I was somewhat absent-minded during dinner (we usually eat dinner around 5:30 pm). After dinner, I absentmindedly washed up and then lay in bed tossing and turning, constantly imagining the scenario of my mother finding me a stepfather. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. The thought of that person living in my house, kicking me out, spending my mother's money, even imagining my mother's fair body being pinned down by someone else, and my mother actively inviting the wolf into the house—all of this made me furious. I suddenly sat up in bed, struggling internally, and then gritted my teeth and decided to take a gamble and confront my mother. As
soon as I reached my mother's door, I became a little timid, my mind clearing up considerably. What if my mother completely ignored me or only gave me perfunctory replies?
Standing in front of my mother's door for a long time, I couldn't bring myself to push it open and go inside. Frustrated, I went back to my room, opened a can of beer, and gulped it down. Even after finishing the whole can, I still couldn't calm my racing thoughts.
Finally, I decided to go to my mother for an answer; otherwise, I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.
Afraid of backing down again, I ran straight to her door, turned the handle, and went inside. My mother was half-reclined on the bed reading. Seeing me come in, she seemed surprised, but a moment later her expression returned to blank, even wary.
"Why aren't you sleeping? What are you doing here?"
I suppressed my anxiety and asked directly, "Mom, did you ask Aunt Zhang to find you a partner? Are
you looking for someone who's remarried?"
"You know it and you still ask? Go back to your room and sleep. Don't meddle in adult matters." "No, Mom, you should at least ask for my opinion, right?" Mom scoffed. "Ask you? Who are you? You're my son. Why should I report to you?" I was speechless. I knew Mom found a stepfather to keep me out of trouble, but I could never accept having another stepfather. "Anyway, I don't agree. I'm not letting you bring a man home!" "Ha! Lu Ziyan! Don't push your luck. You eat my food, live in my house, I've worked myself to the bone raising you. I haven't cared for you like this in years." "You, do you even know your own name? I'm your mother! I can do whatever I want! It's none of your business! What's wrong with me finding a partner? If you don't want me to find one, then get out and support yourself..." My mother's tone grew colder and colder, like a bucket of ice water instantly extinguishing the fire in my heart. I stood there listening, feeling my vision blurring, the scene before me becoming increasingly indistinct. It took a long time for me to recover. Amidst my mother's angry rant, I silently walked out of her room, went straight to the front door, grabbed a mask, put on a down jacket, and planned to go down to the garden for some fresh air to calm down and think of a solution.
My mother clearly heard me open the door and sneered from inside her room, "You've grown quite temperamental, haven't you? If you're going to leave, then don't come back!" I stood outside the door, stunned, opened my mouth, but found myself unable to say anything. I thought to myself, maybe I should just do as my mother wants. I'm the one who did wrong, and what my mother said is true. She worked herself to the bone to raise me, and not only did I not respect her, but I also did something rebellious.
I don't know what I was thinking. After closing the door, I realized I was already at the entrance of the residential complex.
"Young man, where are you going at this hour?" the security guard asked, shining his flashlight on me.
"Ah? Oh, I've run out of household supplies. The supermarket is still open, and I thought there wouldn't be many people at night, so I'd hurry up and buy some." "Register me. Come back quickly after you're done. If you linger too long, I won't let you in." "Okay, I'll be right back."... The winter night was exceptionally cold. To be honest, I regretted leaving. I hadn't brought my phone, ID, or wallet, and because of the pandemic, everyone was on edge, so I had nowhere to go. But I was still too proud to admit it.
Let my mother find another man; she doesn't want me anymore anyway. It's my fault for doing something so rebellious. I hate myself for thinking only with my lower body and not considering who the target is.
Negative emotions kept rising in my mind, and I even had the thought of ending it all. With that thought in mind, I walked towards the bridge.
The bridge was deserted. The city had lost its usual festive hustle and bustle, leaving only the howling of the cold wind. I climbed onto the railing and sat there, staring at the dark river for a short while before I chickened out. I carefully climbed back down, afraid that I might actually fall in.
Even if I didn't consider myself, I should at least consider my mother's feelings. Thinking of this, I started to overthink things again. Maybe without me, my mother could have a new beginning.
Braving the cold wind, I wandered aimlessly, stopping and starting. I don't know how far I walked, but my feet ached and I had to find a sheltered corner to sit down and rest. Unexpectedly, I fell asleep. When I woke up again, I found myself lying in my own bed. My hands, feet, and face were hot and itchy, and I felt occasional sharp pains. The uncomfortable sensations made me realize that I wasn't dreaming. Turning my head, I saw my mother's haggard face, her eyes red and bloodshot.
When she saw me wake up, Mom was initially delighted, then her face hardened, and she raised her hand to slap me, but stopped herself. Finally, she sighed and lowered her hand. "Are you happy if you make me angry?" I remained silent, unsure how to answer. Mom told me that I was lucky to be alive; I had walked a long way and hadn't slept for too long before being discovered. My frostbite wasn't too severe; if I had been found a few hours later, there might have been a risk of amputation.
After being notified by the police, Mom was terrified and rushed to find me. Fortunately, I only had mild frostbite and hypothermia.
Mom originally thought I would just wander around outside a couple of times and come back, but she didn't expect me to be so stubborn, staying out all night and even having suicidal thoughts. The police advised Mom to have a good talk with me and comfort me, saying that there's no hurdle that can't be overcome.
I looked a little strange upon hearing this. It was Mom who needed to overcome the hurdle, not me. My main concern was that Mom had found me a stepfather, and I felt that now the only way was to make Mom completely accept our new relationship.
When I woke up, I had a fever, probably from catching a chill. Because of the pandemic and the resulting anxiety, my mother didn't take me to the hospital; she just gave me fever reducers. Combined with the frostbite, it took three or four days for me to recover, but I still had some aftereffects. The most obvious were the purplish-black chilblains on both cheeks and my fingers were swollen.
During those few days, my mother and I barely spoke, and she didn't mention my running away from home at all.
After dinner, just as I was about to go back to my room, unable to bear the still awkward atmosphere, my mother's last words before entering filled me with elation.
"Settle down, stop thinking about things you don't understand. I'll find someone else to live with after you get married." Back in my room, I excitedly jumped onto the bed, not knowing what I was so happy about, but I still tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep. My mind wandered, and then I thought of my mother's fair body on New Year's Eve, and her arousal when she asked me for water. Thinking about this made it even harder to sleep, and my lower body began to swell rapidly.
I sat bolt upright in bed, determined to sneak up on my mother that night—it was all or nothing.
If I did nothing, she would eventually drift further away from me anyway. I might as well take a gamble; what if I saw a ghost?
With that thought, I tiptoed to my mother's door and gently turned the doorknob. Thankfully, she hadn't locked the door; it seemed even fate was giving me a chance.
The creak of the door opening sent my heart soaring. Perhaps Lady Luck was on my side again; my mother, lying on her side in bed, didn't react.
I gently pulled back the covers and slipped inside, without hesitation wrapping my arms around her supple waist and pressing my entire body against hers.
"Who?" Mom's body trembled violently, clearly startled awake by my movements. Realizing it was me, she shoved me backward with her elbow and snapped, "Lu Ziyan! Aren't you sleeping in your room? What's wrong with you again?" The more Mom struggled, the tighter I held her. Suddenly, my hands, wrapped around her waist, tickled her. Instead of breaking free, Mom snuggled closer, my hips pressing firmly against her buttocks through her pajamas, startling her into a freeze.
I buried my head in Mom's loose, dark hair, inhaling her intoxicating fragrance. My hot breath brushed against the back of her white neck, making her body go weak.
But this didn't stop Mom's struggle. She knew that if she didn't do something, the consequences would be unimaginable. Afraid that the neighbors would hear, Mom hissed, "Lu Ziyan! Let me go right now! I'll really get angry if you keep doing this!" "Mom! I'm scared! Don't move, let me hug you, okay?" "You're scared my ass! I'm scared! Let me go right now!"
Mom completely ignored my attempt to appeal to her emotions and continued to struggle, pinching and twisting my exposed arms, making me wince in pain.
I released my arms from Mom's waist. Mom was delighted to see this, but she didn't expect that one of my hands would go straight up her waist and cover her breasts, which I could grasp with one hand. Even through her nightgown, I could feel the softness with just a slight squeeze.
Mom quickly reached out to stop me, grabbing my hands to resist my advances. "Lu Ziyan, I'll count to three, let go of me right now! Do you hear me?!" "I won't let go, I'm afraid you'll find me a stepfather!" "Didn't I tell you? Before you get married... Ah!"
Mom screamed, but I suddenly pulled her nightgown up by the waist with my other hand, startling her into releasing her grip on my breasts and hurriedly pulling down her nightgown.
After releasing Mom's nightgown, I moved my other hand to her buttocks, pinching her soft yet elastic buttocks through the thin cotton fabric. With her defenses breached, Mom could only wriggle in my arms, but she was no match for my strength. Instead, these movements only fueled my growing desire.
"After you get married, you won't look for anyone else, okay? Lulu, be good and let go of Mom, okay?" "Mom, I love you, I don't want you to leave me." "Mom won't leave you, please get up, okay? Mom begs you." I ignored my mother's pleas. Her weak appearance didn't evoke any pity in me; instead, the contrast between her strictness and her weakness fueled my lust even more.
I suddenly sat up and flipped over, pinning my mother beneath me. I continued to knead her soft breasts with one hand, while the other reached down. Taking advantage of my mother's inattention, I slipped my hand under the elastic band of her panties. As soon as I touched her pubic hair, she pressed it down firmly with both hands, preventing me from going any further. Ignoring the wanton manipulation of her breasts, she desperately protected her genitals with both hands, struggling against me through the thin fabric.
My mother was pinned down and unable to move, only able to grit her teeth and say, "Lu Ziyan, did you hear me? You beast, are you trying to kill me?!" Seeing I didn't answer, she fell silent. We remained locked in this awkward, tense position, but my hand on her chest kept throbbing. My mother didn't dare use one hand to stop me. Lying on top of her, I could clearly feel her chest heaving violently, her breathing becoming rapid. My hand, pressed against her genitals, felt a dampness, though I couldn't tell if it was sweat or her arousal.
Seeing this, I began to grind her erect nipples, burying my face in her neck, leaving kisses.
"No…"
My mother's body went limp, and the pressure on my hands lessened. I seized the opportunity, forcefully pushing downwards, breaking through the resistance, my palm directly covering her genitals—sticky, muddy.
My mother seemed to realize it too. She grabbed my wrists with both hands, clamped my hands between her thighs, and buried her face in the blanket so I couldn't see her expression.
My middle finger pressed against that warm, fleshy crevice, and with a slight bend of the tip, it parted her labia with the help of the slippery fluid, pressing against the indentation. My mother trembled, squeezing her thighs together, trapping my hand inside. Though my hand couldn't penetrate deeply, my fingers could still move freely within the crevice. With a gentle slide, my fingertip slipped into the moist opening. My middle finger diligently probed inside her vagina, my fingertip exploring every inch of the vaginal walls, searching for sensitive spots. I could clearly feel the pulsation of her vagina beneath my fingertip. A moment later, my mother's body beneath me suddenly trembled violently, like a sieve, and her juices flowed freely, soaking my palm.
Had my mother climaxed?
My mother, as if boneless, released her thighs that were clamped around my hands, and her hands that were gripping my arms. Even after I pulled my hands away, she remained beneath me, burying her head in the blanket. If it weren't for the occasional trembling of her body, I would have thought she had suffocated herself under the covers.
Seeing that she was no longer struggling, I quickly pulled down my pants, took out my already rock-hard penis, and prepared to remove her underwear. Unexpectedly, as soon as I touched the elastic band, she suddenly reached out and grabbed it tightly. After a couple of tugs without moving it, I hooked the part of her underwear covering her genitals and pulled it to the side. Surprisingly, she didn't resist; her hands remained tightly gripping the elastic band.
I understood then: this was my mother's last act of defiance. Intense shame had made her give up the struggle and resign herself to her fate.
I was overjoyed. Holding my penis with one hand and pulling down my mother's panties with the other, exposing her wet vulva, I pressed the head of my penis against the entrance, thrusting my hips forward and plunging it all the way in.
"Hmm~"
My mother's muffled groan was particularly jarring in the quiet room, but to me it was incredibly pleasurable.
The soft flesh of my mother's vaginal walls tightly gripped my penis; the warm, moist sensation felt incredibly good, especially the head of my penis pressed against that soft flesh, the surrounding folds like a small mouth sucking at it.
As I withdrew my penis, a large amount of vaginal fluid was brought out, cool and sticky, dripping onto the sheets.
Returning to this familiar place, I could only describe it as incredibly wet and tight; it was hard to believe my mother was already over forty.
The dual stimulation of body and mind drove me to a frenzy, thrusting rapidly, each stroke penetrating deep inside. My mother's delicate body swayed back and forth with each impact, occasionally letting out a muffled groan. Seeing her hands tightly gripping the elastic band of her underwear, my eyes lit up. I grabbed her arms and pulled her up from under the covers.
Startled, she struggled frantically, "Are you trying to kill me! Let go of me!" She tugged at my arms a couple of times, but couldn't budge them. Instead, her hips and buttocks swayed, as if responding to me. After a few struggles, she realized something was wrong and desperately tried to grab me, but couldn't reach my arms. She scratched my stomach a few times, but the pain didn't make me release her; instead, it fueled my lust, increasing the force of my thrusts. Each stroke plunged my penis fully in, pressing heavily against her clitoris, leaving only my testicles sticking out.
Within moments, my mother's vagina responded, gripping my penis tightly and contracting repeatedly. The sensation of my penis being squeezed was tingling and numb, sending a pleasurable shiver down my spine, which only made me speed up my thrusts.
The room was filled with the sounds of my lower abdomen hitting my mother's buttocks, the wet sounds of our bodies merging, and the muffled groans of my mother.
"Hmm...you...hum...be gentle...oh...it hurts...be gentle, do you hear me?" My mother's body trembled slightly, desperately suppressing her moans. Her arms, which I had been holding, no longer scratched at me, but instead pushed, trying to hinder my movements.
"Mom, what did you say?"
"Ugh...be gentle...ah..."
My mother had barely opened her mouth to say a few words when I thrust my hips forward again, plunging in deeply. My glans touched the bottom again, and with my movements, my mother's back gradually straightened, her body arching backward, her pajamas soaked through.
I thrust in and out dozens more times, waves of electric-like pleasure surging through my brain. After a few more powerful thrusts, I released my grip on my mother's arms, embraced her waist, and wanted nothing more than to meld her entire body into mine. My lower body pressed tightly against her buttocks, and I ejaculated all over her with a "plop, plop."
My mother's body was incredibly limp, trembling occasionally in my arms, with no desire to struggle anymore. I didn't enjoy the afterglow of my orgasm for long before I received a slap on the thigh.
"Let go of me."
I instinctively released my mother, stunned and filled with fear. I expected a barrage of slaps from her, but to my surprise, she ignored me. She tore off a few tissues from the bedside table, stuffed them into her genitals, wiped herself a few times, threw them on the floor, and then tossed the tissues to me. In the darkness, I couldn't see my mother's expression, and her voice was unreadable, only sounding tired. "Finish up and get out of here. I'm going to take a shower." After watching my mother leave the room, I stood there, still staring blankly at the tissues, wondering what she meant. I breathed a sigh of relief and lay down, my mind racing with thoughts of what to do after my mother finished showering. As I pondered, my mind grew hazy, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.
I wasn't dreaming. I was kicked awake by my mother. The light in her bedroom was on, and she was standing by the bed, glaring at me with the sheet in her hand. "I told you to get out! Why are you still here?!" I instantly woke up and jumped off the bed. The sheet was soaked in the middle, and even the blanket was damp in one corner—sweat, vaginal fluid, and semen.
"Mom, how are you going to sleep in this state?"
As soon as the words left my mouth, my heart sank. I knew I was doomed. I looked up at my mother in a panic.
Perhaps it was because Mom had just taken a shower, or perhaps for some other reason, but her face was flushed red. She glared at me fiercely, "Get out of here right now, I'm getting a new blanket." My eyes darted around, and I cautiously said, "Mom, why don't you sleep in my room tonight? You haven't aired out the other blankets, they must be damp too. Just make do in my room for the night. I'm going to take a shower first, Mom, take your pillow over." Without waiting for Mom's reply, I rushed to the bathroom. It took me several minutes to calm my racing heart. After showering, I swallowed hard. Mom's door was tightly closed, and I didn't dare open it to see if she was there. I could only walk straight back to my room. The raised blanket on the bed filled me with joy. Mom was sleeping on the inside, facing the wall. I mentally gave myself a thumbs up and excitedly rushed over, lifted the blanket, and crawled in.
My excitement dispelled my drowsiness, but I was a little worried, finding myself unable to fall asleep. My mother's breathing was steady, and I assumed she was asleep. I placed my hand on her waist, but she suddenly pushed it away, startling me. Thankfully, she was still sleeping facing the wall and didn't scold me or say anything.
A while later, I placed my hand on her waist again, only to be pushed away again. Undeterred, I put my hand back, engaging in this struggle with my mother several times. Finally, she became impatient and slapped my hand hard on her waist, but didn't push it away. "Are you done yet? Are you going to sleep or not? Don't you know what time it is? If you don't sleep, I will!" I chuckled twice, enduring the pain without pulling my hand back. My palm felt the warmth of my mother's lower abdomen through her nightgown, and I gradually drifted off to sleep.

[The End]

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