My colleague at the hospital

As a doctor, it's embarrassing to admit, but I'm a bit squeamish about blood. It's the kind of squeamish I am when I'm operating on patients, but I tremble when someone draws my blood. I don't know why, but that day in the emergency room, when we opened a patient's chest cavity, blood gushed out, covering me completely. I had just started work, and my squeamishness about blood never usually occurs because of patients' blood, but that day I suddenly fainted. Luckily, other doctors were there. The nurses carried me out to the duty room, where he was on duty; let's call him F for now. I almost woke up after lying down, but it was still difficult, and I felt weak all over. I didn't dare tell him I'm squeamish about blood, because that's a major taboo for doctors. He gave me a glucose drip and even peeled an apple for me. He was the first person I remember peeling an apple for me. At that moment, I had an urge to cry. I forced the tears back. Haha, okay, I'm just like that; even small gestures like that can move me. But at that time, we were still just ordinary colleagues. We started chatting and joking around. One day, I coughed twice, and he touched my forehead. Instinctively, I flinched. He chuckled and said, "Honey, let me see if you have a fever." My heart skipped a beat, and I felt a surge of mischief. In short, during that time, he was very kind and considerate to me. I thought he liked me, but he didn't confess or pursue me. One day, a guy from my workplace was pursuing me and delivered flowers to our department. I deliberately didn't leave, and he brought them in. I secretly watched his expression; the other colleagues were all gossiping and watching the spectacle. Only he was seriously looking at medical records. I was secretly pleased; I thought he was jealous. Then, I proudly told him that I had someone in my heart. Later, one evening, we were talking on QQ. He said, "I'm near your house, I'll come see you." And then he came. Actually, I wondered if he wanted to stay overnight. But I genuinely felt he wasn't that kind of person, so I let him in. When he came in, he first told me my house was messy and then helped me tidy up. Later, he said he was tired and wanted to borrow my sofa for the night. He said we should go to work together tomorrow and let the whole hospital know that the legendary "Lady Yiran" was his. I said, "You shameless bastard, no way!" It was all a joke, haha. Later, I went back to my room, and around midnight, I went to the bathroom. He was sleeping soundly, and I secretly smiled at him, feeling like I couldn't get enough of looking at him; I just loved him. Then, when I came out of the bathroom, he suddenly got up and hugged me, kissing my face and ears. Okay, I admit, I felt something from the kisses. But I was rational; I loved him, so I couldn't let it go like this, because men don't cherish women they sleep with easily. So I absolutely refused. Later, he said, "I was wrong, I won't do it again, but can I hold you while we sleep?" I said okay. But shortly after we entered the bedroom, he changed. He frantically took off my clothes, tearing my pajamas. I swear, I resisted with my life; it was practically rape! But I loved him, I loved him, and I thought he loved me, that's why he did this to me. Then, I slept soundly that night; he held me all night. But the next day at work, he didn't treat me like a girlfriend. I vaguely knew what was going on. Haha, I texted him, saying, "What do you take me for?" He replied, "Sorry, I don't know." At that moment, I laughed, mocking my own foolish thinking. I thought that meeting this person meant I could finally have a stable relationship. Haha, then… I asked him, "Why are you treating me like this? You know, I genuinely like you. If you don't love me, why did you touch me?" He only said sorry. But at that moment, my heartache wasn't the feeling of a broken heart, but a pain as unbreakable as a glass heart. I loved him, but he didn't love me; he just treated me like a free prostitute. I was remarkably calm then, and I said, "Can you be my boyfriend for three days?" Three days passed, and we were still colleagues; I forgot everything. He said, "Sure." At that moment, I felt truly content. That day, I asked him, "Come to my place tonight?" He said, "No, I have things to do today." Then the next day, I asked again, "Come to my place?" He said, "No, I have things to do." Hehe, then on the third day, I asked him again, and he said he had things to do. Then, being incredibly shameless, I begged him, saying it was the last day, I begged him, after today I promise I won't bother him anymore. Later, he came. He came in, took off his clothes, got into bed, and fell into a deep sleep, then woke up and left. Haha. Okay, call me whatever you want. But this story isn't over. Then, we became like colleagues. Peaceful days, leaving me alone to quietly suffer. I often dreamed of him, and when I woke up, my heart ached so badly I could barely breathe. Do you understand that feeling? Every time I find someone I can rely on, it's like someone suddenly comes to save me when I'm drowning. Then, I want to hold him tightly, but I'm afraid of hurting him. But I can't let go. Later, we didn't contact each other for a long time, and I didn't contact him either, because I didn't want to make a fool of myself. Although we sat in the same office every day, I pretended very well, acting as if I didn't care at all. Sometimes I even doubted whether I really didn't care about him anymore. But things didn't end there. One day he suddenly contacted me. I asked him what he wanted, and he said, "You know." Haha, my heart was pounding. I knew I still loved him, and I even fantasized that maybe he thought I was good enough and wanted to be with me long-term. But I was wrong. He was just lonely and thirsty, needing a moving, erotic doll. After that night, I texted him, "I love you, so I'll do anything for you. Just say the word if you need me, and I'll be there." He said, "Yiran, why are you doing this? I'm sorry." [The End]

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My colleague at the hospital

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