My sexual relationship with my cousin

My cousin's home is nestled between mountains and the sea, a place both incredibly mysterious and beautiful. Every time I visit,
after years of living
in the city's backwaters, I feel as if I've entered paradise. I love sitting on the mountainside, so quiet it's almost unsettling, listening to the rustling of the mountain wind through the dense pine forest, and watching eagles soaring high in the
sky. I especially love running alone
to the beach, playing with the waves that relentlessly wash over the shore. Sometimes, my quiet and beautiful cousin would accompany me, on moonlit
nights, on the beach where the waves crash, we'd stroll together along the tranquil yet bustling embankment. These peaceful,
leisurely moments are arguably the most beautiful part of life; they allow us to experience
the unpredictability of existence.
When I was little, my cousin lived with us for a while. Back then, I was young and immature, and often bullied her.
I even whipped her with a willow branch. Her badly swollen arm often made me reflect on my own ruthlessness.
As I grew up, I always felt guilty for my youthful rudeness and barbarity; yet I always kept it to myself, never finding
a suitable opportunity to apologize to her. Now, my cousin, who has blossomed into a beautiful young woman, seems to have forgotten
the humiliation she suffered in her childhood. From our lively conversations, you couldn't find the slightest hint of dissatisfaction she might have towards me. To
others, I am the most respected and beloved cousin in the world.
The last time I visited my cousin was nine years ago. My cousin has truly blossomed into a beautiful young woman. Just turned nineteen, she
has undergone a complete transformation, and her vibrant youth made me look at her with new respect. My cousin
was very happy to see me. She insisted that I accompany her to the beach. My aunt and uncle, seeing their daughter's joy
, couldn't bear to refuse her. It was October, the sky was high and the air was crisp. My cousin wore a pristine white dress
and a sheer, form-fitting top; her graceful figure was accentuated by her youthful energy. Looking at her,
I was overwhelmed with emotion: my cousin was beautiful and delicate, like a pure angel descended to earth,
calming the restless and uneasy heart of a man. In her, you saw sensuality, but not desire; you saw
her beautiful face and graceful figure, but not fervor or seduction. My cousin was a pure angel,
inspiring only devout worship, leaving you with a heart as still as water; and you felt that this state of tranquility was
a rare and precious quality in life. This was also the greatest surrender to beauty. I am her cousin, but
I am also a man with emotions and desires. Therefore, her beauty, her captivating face,
would also stir my heart.
Coming from the bustling world to this desolate beach, my mood changed accordingly. Neither my cousin nor I
spoke. For a long time, we remained silent. It was a strange thing; but for us at the time
, it was perfectly natural, and the right thing to do. My cousin tried to speak several times, but hesitated
. Seeing her embarrassed look, I turned to her and asked, "Cousin, what's wrong? Just
say it."
She remained hesitant. I stood there, waiting. After a long, long time, she finally mustered her
courage and said to me, "Brother, I need a favor." I grinned. I replied, "Don't just
ask for one thing, even ten, a hundred things, I'll agree to them. Really." But my cousin's words became hesitant
. She said, "But I only need one favor. You must promise me." I looked at her and
said without hesitation, "Tell me, even if the sky falls, I'll do it for you." My cousin was silent for a
while before raising her head. She solemnly said to me, "Brother, please consider my request seriously. Don't laugh
at me; if you don't agree, just pretend I never told you." Seeing my cousin's serious expression, I
also solemnly replied, "Don't worry, even if your cousin is bad, he's not the heartless kind of man."
Finally, my cousin told me her innermost thoughts. I never imagined that my usually quiet cousin's heart
was filled with such turbulent emotions. She told me that she had once had the chance to become a woman; but because
of her timidity or her inherent aversion to such behavior,
she even drove away the boy who clearly loved her (I had heard her mention this before). Now, this desire to become a woman was tormenting
her. Because she had no other way in her life to realize this dream, she wanted to ask me for help
to complete the transformation from a girl to a woman. I was naturally shocked. I told her, "This
is incest!" But my cousin sneered and said that cousins in ancient times even shared a bed. I knew that.
Even now, many cousins in our country still disregard the law and live together. But the rule
against marriage between close relatives was, in my opinion, the same rule against arranged marriages between close relatives. My mind was in turmoil, but I didn't make any excuses.
Seeing my hesitation, my cousin didn't force me to make a decision immediately. She said, "I know you're
a master of romance, many girls have become your captives; but I am indeed an exception. By blood, I am your cousin
. I'm giving you one day. Whether you agree or not is entirely up to you. But you must remember that when you were
little, you left deep pain on my body with a willow whip; today I want you to repay that with pleasure
, yet you hesitate. I'm only giving you one day. If you still can't make a decision, or disagree
, then your cruelty will be the greatest regret of my life."
The question my cousin posed to me was one that I felt I could never make the right decision even if I spent a lifetime on it.
You might say, "That's easy, just reject her, isn't that enough?" Well, I'll tell you, that would
be a truly tragic situation. My cousin has leukemia, and she's going to the hospital the day after tomorrow.
Everyone knows that once she enters the hospital, she may never leave again. In her final
days, what hasn't she experienced, what hasn't she understood, will be a
source of deep sorrow for her. And sex, clearly, has become a persistent longing in her heart. Perhaps she understands that her time on earth is limited
, and what ethical considerations are there left to worry about? Life hasn't given her the gifts she deserves, so
life has deceived her, and it's only natural for her to reclaim what she rightfully deserves. But...
Perhaps this was my cousin's mindset. Her desires, transferred to me, caused me immense distress. If I agreed with her
thoughts, sympathized with her situation, and granted her request, wouldn't I become a despicable and shameless person despised by all
? But to refuse her request and let her leave this
world in that ascetic, desolate atmosphere would be absolutely cruel.
The next day, the beach was still deserted, and it was still just my cousin and me. After a long walk,
she finally had the strength to look at my face. The expression on my face told her that her dream had succeeded. Although my face
was calm, my cousin could tell at a glance that I was willing to sacrifice anything for her.
The sky was cloudless, a deep, clear blue; the sea roared with excitement. What
a beginning it was! I simply couldn't describe it in words. I couldn't be naked in front of her, because I still retained
the last vestige of shyness. Seeing me like this, "still half-concealing my face," my cousin burst into laughter. After laughing
, she took off her clothes first. Her snow-white skin, her slender body, her exquisitely beautiful
figure—it left me speechless.
My cousin was truly a rare beauty, but alas, her good fortune was short-lived; God was about to reclaim his masterpiece.
Following her lead, I also stripped naked in an instant. My cousin saw a long thing hanging down below me
, and watched it miraculously harden; she was overjoyed, as if she had seen the great God
himself. She held it, her delicate hands trembling. It seemed she was holding a treasure that
would bring her immense joy. After she let go, we faced each other naked, and at that moment, there was an
indescribable feeling. We felt that such a sacred moment still existed in the world; in this solemn moment,
each of us, in a profound experience, tasted the true meaning of life.
Because my cousin was still a virgin, I knew that being too rough would cause her unbearable harm, and given her
frailty, I couldn't force myself on her. I started by
kissing her with my mouth, on that place that had never been touched by another man before. Each kiss was sincere and attentive. My tongue
gently licked and moved around there. I think I've never
been so devoted to any other woman. At that moment, I wasn't enjoying myself, but selflessly giving. Every loving
action stimulated my cousin's virgin body, exciting and captivating her. Finally, I brought her to a state of
half-sleep, half-awake, reaching the pinnacle of pleasure. When I felt the time was right, I
took a condom from my pocket, put it on my erection, and applied some lubricant; this would lessen
the pain of her hymen breaking. But when I entered her, I realized I had gone to unnecessary lengths; because her genitals
were already soaking wet. Actually, it wasn't much, because my foreplay had been so long that my cousin was already
quite aroused. When I entered her, she had reached her physical and mental climax.
With a thrust, she winced in pain, and at the same time, a feeling she had never experienced before, like a powerful
wave, overwhelmed her. My cousin's wish was finally fulfilled. When my cousin and I left that beach, the sky
was still that same deep blue, and the sea was still roaring.
Pascal once said, "Man is inevitably mad; not being mad is perhaps just another
form of madness."
Two months later, my cousin left this world. I happened to be there during her final moments. She lay
on the bed in the isolation ward, and through the transparent glass, I could see her haggard appearance, ravaged by chemotherapy
. When my cousin saw me, a long-lost smile suddenly appeared on her face. But a few minutes later, that smile
vanished from her face, and her life entered a permanent state of cessation. I was heartbroken. A beautiful
young woman had perished before my very eyes. That cruel experience, that heart-wrenching feeling, I
will never forget it. My aunt and uncle cried their hearts out; my tears also streamed down my face.
To us, their relatives, a vibrant life was gone forever, leaving us, the survivors,
with endless pain and memories.
Many years later, one autumn, I returned to my uncle's house, back to that familiar beach;
little had changed. My heart began to feel inexplicably sad. The sea still roared, the waves relentlessly
crashing against the shore; the sky was a deep, clear blue, and that unchanging scenery year after year reminded me of
my cousin's tragic passing. In the face of time, we exist, and we will eventually disappear. Heaven and earth do not
change because of this; only we, unaware of our own limitations, change. We did not change the world;
the world ruthlessly changed us. You can say that my actions with my cousin were shocking, or
that they were utterly deserving of death; but that is your business. Perhaps my cousin felt
a sense of comfort as she lay dying, because she finally understood what it meant to be a woman; and as for me,
I won't deny it; my cousin left this noisy world with a smile, and I believe that in my life, that
is more important than anything else.
[The End]

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