Xu Zhe's story of sexual happiness

That year, Xu Zhe was twelve years old. In Tianjin, he was just a student at an ordinary university, with ordinary grades, an ordinary family, and ordinary interpersonal relationships. He was the kind of insignificant character who would be easily lost in a crowd. For Xu Zhe at that time, his biggest goal in life was to become a wandering painter. Xu Zhe loved to draw since he was a child because an elderly woman, a retired art teacher, lived next door to him. As a child, Xu Zhe loved to run to the old woman's house and watch how she mixed paints and created incredibly beautiful pictures on the pristine white canvas. Whenever he saw a painting completed, a happy smile would naturally appear on Xu Zhe's little face. But as he grew up, reality left him with no free time to draw. As a student about to enter junior high school, Xu Zhe mostly carried 2B pencils and faced test papers filled with questions. The hardships of life had already deeply affected Xu Zhe, who was only twelve years old... Like all boys, the anxieties of adolescence and the curiosity about girls made these students, who were like men yet not quite men, crave love with a frenzied desire... But Xu Zhe was completely different from other boys in this respect. His love was like a painting, everything was so calm and gentle... Everyone has their own adolescence. Whether it's youthful recklessness or precocious maturity... Every adolescence is an unforgettable memory, but for Xu Zhe, in these short six years, one figure occupied too many fragments of his memories... Her name was Liu Feixue, and her close friends liked to call her Xue'er, simply because her skin was truly as white as snow, and what was precious was that she had the kind of physique that wouldn't tan no matter how much sun she got. As for her appearance, it was the kind that would make people jealous to death, with willow-leaf eyebrows, cherry lips, and eyes like clear pools that seemed to have no secrets. In Xu Zhe's memory, Xue'er always had a faint smile on her face, as if her life was filled only with happiness, always so cheerful... Perhaps that was indeed the case? Xue'er was Xu Zhe's classmate in junior high school, and from junior high onwards, her excellence destined her to become the darling of teachers and classmates. Not only was she beautiful, but she also had an exceptionally gentle temperament, never breaking her promises to anyone, always nodding and agreeing with a charming smile. Her grades were also outstanding; for six years, she was the absolute class monitor and student representative. In fourth grade, the teacher determined that she would definitely attend a key high school in the city, and would go directly to top universities like Tsinghua and Peking University... Unfortunately, during the entrance exam for junior high school, it was as if God was playing a joke; her exam score was as low as Xu Zhe's for the first time. Because of this, the homeroom teacher personally checked the score three times, and no one believed that she had achieved that score. It was as if her getting such a bad score was the end of the world... Therefore, Xu Zhe's almost unthinkable hope came true: Xue'er attended the same junior high school as him, and even the same class. Even so, Xu Zhe dared not reveal a trace of his feelings to her. Firstly, he was self-aware enough to know he was like a toad in a Chinese idiom, while Xue'er was an angel more noble than a swan… Secondly, rumors circulated among their classmates that Xue'er already had someone she liked. For this unknown "him," Xue'er deliberately didn't write her Chinese and English essays during the high school entrance exam, squandering her chance to enter a top high school and ending up in this obscure, ordinary school. This rumor made a lot of noise among the boys who had come from the same school as Xue'er. Perhaps because there were so few elementary schools back then? There were at least fifty or sixty boys from the same school here, and almost every one of them confessed their feelings to Xue'er from time to time. Over two years, excluding those who later joined the ranks of those with genital warped eyes, almost all fifty or sixty of them had confessed. Unfortunately, Xue'er always just smiled and said, "I'm sorry…"Shattering the fantasies of countless toads… And so, another two years of being classmates passed, with Xu Zhe suppressing his true feelings. Only when handing out tests or organizing activities would Xu Zhe exchange a few words with the girl he liked. Perhaps to conceal his love, Xu Zhe deliberately distanced himself from Xue'er. Even when Xue'er would sometimes speak to him enthusiastically, Xu Zhe always acted indifferent, as if beautiful women were a virus. However, whenever class started, Xu Zhe's gaze would secretly drift to Xue'er, who sat two rows diagonally in front of him. Perhaps it was a divine arrangement of their seating, but from this angle, he could see Xue'er's fair profile. In Xu Zhe's memory, she was always intently looking at the blackboard, taking notes, never turning around to notice his presence. And so, Xu Zhe developed a habit: while others were taking notes, his notebook was filled with images of Xue'er's profile. These were drawings Xu Zhe secretly made. Although he knew his actions were somewhat sordid, he couldn't help but preserve every smile and gesture of his beloved… After an ordinary PE class, Xu Zhe returned to the classroom from the playground and froze the moment he entered… because his dream goddess was sitting in his seat, flipping through his notebook. The light streaming in from the window shone on her, making her appear so pure and untouchable. The surrounding noise vanished, the figures moving around him disappeared, as if only the two of them remained in the large classroom. Xu Zhe didn't know whether to walk towards his seat or towards Xue'er; he simply stood naturally beside her. Xue'er seemed startled, abruptly closing her notebook and looking at him with a complex expression. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to look at your notebook. I just accidentally bumped into it and saw…" Xue'er stammered, placing the notebook back on the desk and quickly leaving. At that moment, Xu Zhe stood there, stunned, his ears filled with the pounding of his own heart. He felt utterly naked, as if his clothes had been stripped off. Xu Zhe knew that news of his crush on Xue'er would soon spread, and he would be surrounded and mocked by a group of self-proclaimed friends for months. But that wasn't the scary part. What was terrifying was seeing Xue'er's apologetic smile and then hearing her shattering "I'm sorry..." Although Xu Zhe understood that he had absolutely no hope, so there shouldn't be any disappointment, he didn't want to hear Xue'er's rejection. It would be a cruel blow to even the right to have a crush on her... All day long, until school ended, Xu Zhe was incredibly anxious, afraid that Xue'er would stand before him and tell him that it was impossible between them. He drifted aimlessly until the afternoon break. Xu Zhe quickly packed everything up and hurried towards the back door. But after only two steps, he couldn't move anymore... because Xue'er had caught up with him and grabbed the edge of his backpack. To catch up with him, her knee even bumped into a classmate's bench, scraping the skin off. Xu Zhe didn't understand—did rejecting someone who secretly loved him require such desperate effort? But Xue'er's words made the toad's dream a reality… Xue'er's excitement not only startled Xu Zhe, but the entire class stopped what they were doing, staring blankly at the couple. Turning his head slightly, Xu Zhe knew what was coming. Since being dumped was his destiny, there was no point in running away. Seemingly understanding everything, he felt a sense of calm. Turning back, Xu Zhe tried to appear indifferent, using nonchalance to mask his inner tension… "Is something wrong?" Xu Zhe still had that cold look on his face. "No, nothing serious…it's just…" Xue'er's expression was so pained, perhaps because of the pain in her knee? Blood was seeping from the scraped areas. "I just wanted to say 'I'm sorry'..." "Don't be so self-righteous. Those were just random drawings. Don't think that just because you're pretty everyone should like you!" Xu Zhe suddenly roared, using his voice to mask his weakness. His unusual behavior made some of the boys unable to bear it; almost every man wanted to punch this ungrateful bastard. "I...I know you've always disliked me, so you usually ignore me. But today I was wrong. I shouldn't have looked through your things without your permission. So I have to say sorry." Xue'er looked so remorseful, tears welling up in her bright eyes. Was it because of the pain in her foot, or because of Xu Zhe's indifference? Standing there, Xue'er's expression made Xu Zhe feel so ashamed that he wanted to bang his head against the wall and die. "I don't know what to say..." Xue'er said timidly, seemingly afraid of being rejected. "Do you have time? Tomorrow is Saturday, and I'd like to treat you to a meal as an apology..." Xu Zhe's blankness turned into utter bewilderment; this was a scene he could never have dreamed of. "Okay...okay..." "It's a deal then. Your phone number is in my yearbook. I'll let you know tomorrow at noon. Goodbye!" She waved excitedly at Xu Zhe, her happy expression as if she were having dinner with a celebrity. If it weren't for her injured foot, she probably would have jumped for joy. Watching Xue'er limp away with difficulty, Xu Zhe felt like he was floating. He didn't even remember how he got home. That year, Xu Zhe was 14 years old, in the second year of junior high... After Xue'er's unexpected invitation, Xu Zhe felt like he was blessed by God that day. Amidst the bewildered, envious, and angry gazes of his classmates, Xu Zhe practically floated away from the classroom. He practically floated home... That night, Xu Zhe didn't eat, went straight to the bathroom for a shower, and spent two whole hours there, practically peeling off a layer of skin. After showering, Xu Zhe rushed into his room, locked the door, opened the wardrobe, and began a long search... Naked, facing the huge dressing mirror, Xu Zhe compared himself to others like a woman, completely oblivious to the clock on the wall ticking away... The whole night was spent searching, and even so, Xu Zhe managed to put on a white suit and leather shoes with great difficulty. His mother had specially taken him to buy this for her classmate's wedding. The whole set cost over a thousand yuan, which was considered top-of-the-line "equipment" for a student at the time.Despite not having slept all night, Xu Zhe showed no signs of fatigue, his eyes shining brightly. He had been sitting on the sofa in the living room since eight o'clock, staring intently at the phone. Xu Zhe's movements were as if the phone would grow legs and run away... Unfortunately, communication was not advanced at that time; cell phones were practically a thing of the past, and to make a call, one had to go through a box connected to a telephone line. Staring at the red telephone in front of him, Xu Zhe unconsciously swallowed every few minutes, his mind a battleground of conflicting thoughts… “Is she playing a trick on me? It’s already nine o’clock, time for breakfast.” “She must be playing a trick on me. I’ve been so cold to her, why would she go on a date with me?” “It’s just a meal, nothing special, she shouldn’t be playing a trick on me, right?” “Is she worried I’ll take advantage of her, so she doesn’t want to treat me?” Teenage boys are so adorable and helpless… Under the influence of hormones, they often do things that seem inexplicable, so ridiculous that even years later, they still feel embarrassed when they look back… But at this moment, Xu Zhe was indulging in a sweet anticipation, after all, his relationship with Xue’er had taken a big step forward from their previous coldness… When the clock on the wall struck 11:30, the anticipated red phone finally rang. Because he had been staring at it for so long, Xu Zhe was startled, but he still answered the phone before the third ring. "Hello, please ask for Xu Zhe." Xue'er's voice was still sweet even through the thin telephone line, but strangely, there was a hint of timidity in it, as if it was her first time calling a male classmate's house? "I...I am Xu Zhe." Initially a little excited, Xu Zhe instantly thought of saving face and lowered his tone, revealing his usual indifference. "Hello, this is Liu Feixue. We agreed to have dinner together yesterday. Are you free?" Xue'er's heart was still hanging, afraid that Xu Zhe might suddenly change his mind. "Nothing much. Where should we meet?" Xu Zhe wasn't stupid enough to act aloof even at this moment. "Actually, I'm in the phone booth downstairs from your house." Xue'er's "enthusiasm" startled Xu Zhe. "Wait for me." After hanging up the phone, Xu Zhe got up and rushed out of the house, forgetting to lock the security door. Luckily, he was lucky that day and didn't encounter any thieves.Xu Zhe ran down to the second floor, deliberately pausing to catch his breath before slowly walking out of the stairwell with his hands in his pockets. The sun wasn't intense that day; fluffy white clouds drifted across the sky, and a slight breeze stirred. Xue'er stood there in the sunlight, wearing a wide-shouldered, snow-white sweater that revealed her fair neck, while the long sleeves concealed her hands, leaving only her slender, delicate fingers twitching in the air. She wore a pink plaid pleated skirt that reached just to her knees. A white bandage was still on her right knee, indicating a nasty injury from the previous day; it was a heartbreaking sight. Her black round-toed shoes and snow-white socks were fashionable at the time… “You're here so quickly!” Turning around, Xue'er saw Xu Zhe in his white suit, and a gentle smile naturally spread across her face. A gentle breeze ruffled Xue'er's long, black hair, and she unconsciously closed her eyes, tucking a few stray strands behind her ears. That raised hand, that subtle movement, that natural expression—it was as beautiful as a classical oil painting. Xu Zhe simply stood there, stunned, staring at the beautiful woman before him. He couldn't help but sigh inwardly, "So beautiful..." Looking at Xu Zhe's attire today—a pristine white suit, white shoes that practically reflected the light—and his hair styled with mousse, each strand standing up like a hedgehog, it seemed like a lightning rod would be struck dead by lightning if it rained… Unable to contain herself, Xue'er covered her mouth and laughed, the gesture making her stomach churn. "Is it that funny?" Xu Zhe's face flushed red from Xue'er's laughter, and he feigned anger, asking sternly, "I'm going straight to my mother's classmate's wedding tonight, that's why I dressed like this." Xu Zhe was truly impressed with himself for coming up with such a classic excuse. "I'm…I'm sorry, I was just thinking about something, so…" Xue'er also tried to find an excuse for herself, realizing her lapse in composure. "Let's go, where to eat?" Xu Zhe asked with a straight face, looking incredibly serious. "Let's go... to a steakhouse! I know a good one." Xue'er hadn't originally planned on going to such a high-end place, but looking at Xu Zhe's attire, she figured he'd feel awkward sitting anywhere except at a Western restaurant. "You lead the way." Xu Zhe always spoke succinctly, as if his words could be sold. Thus, an odd date began... Xue'er walked ahead, her steps still a little stiff, while Xu Zhe followed silently about two meters behind, hands in his pockets, without exchanging a word. After about half an hour, they arrived at the steakhouse Xue'er had mentioned. The two sat on the second floor, at a window seat. Perhaps because of the time of day, the restaurant was still quite empty, making it exceptionally quiet. Xue'er ordered a filet mignon, and Xu Zhe, without even looking at the menu, ordered the same thing. Xu Zhe had spent half the night thinking about what to order. If he ordered something too expensive, Xue'er might think he was deliberately making things difficult for her; if he ordered something too cheap, she'd think he couldn't afford good food. So he simply didn't order anything and ate the same things... Poor thing, the meal was unusually quiet. Xu Zhe barely ate anything, his chin resting on one hand, his head turned to look at the street scene outside the window. His eyes were so calm, his expression eerily still. But Xue'er had no idea that Xu Zhe was so nervous that he couldn't eat or speak. It was as if he was eating to a block of wood, the atmosphere incredibly awkward... "Oh, by the way, I just heard a joke, let me tell you." Putting down her knife and fork, Xue'er tried to find a topic, "There's an animal in the world that loves to ask 'why' the most? Do you know what it is?" "No, what is it?" Xu Zhe really didn't know. "It's a pig." Xue'er smiled contentedly. "Why?" Xu Zhe still didn't understand, but as soon as the question left his mouth, he immediately realized what was going on. However, looking at Xue'er's smiling face, Xu Zhe's face turned cold again. "You called me a pig?" "I...I'm sorry." Realizing his mistake, Xu Zhe's reaction only made Xue'er more embarrassed. Nervous, Xue'er immediately lowered her head and quickly cut the steak in front of her. For a moment, the only sound between them was the clatter of knives and forks... When the steak in front of her was almost cut into minced meat, Xue'er finally mustered up her courage. She slightly raised her head and looked at Xu Zhe, who was drinking water, and asked timidly, "Am I really that annoying to you?" "No? Why do you ask that?" Xu Zhe was so excited that he almost spat out his water. "Because you always seem to ignore me. I might have offended you in some way that I don't even know I did...I'm sorry, can you forgive me?" Xue'er's sensitivity made Xu Zhe feel ecstatic, because Xue'er's words proved that she had been paying attention to him. "No, nothing like that. I'm just...I'm just a little cold-hearted." Xu Zhe really wanted to say "I like you," but the words caught in his throat. "Finally, you've made it clear..." He let out a deep sigh, calming Xue'er's nerves. "You know what? We've been classmates for eight years, but you always seemed to be deliberately avoiding me. I thought you hated me..." Xu Zhe didn't speak, his expression softening naturally, a faint happiness on his face, simply because the person he loved had also noticed him for eight years... What could be happier than this? "By the way, what time are you going to the wedding?" Xue'er asked with concern. "The wedding? Oh..." Xu Zhe regretted his lie. "Around 7:30, is there something you need?" "That should be enough time. Can you help me... no, accompany me to do something?" Xue'er looked at Xu Zhe with expectant eyes, her pleading gaze so intense that Xu Zhe swore no boy could resist her. "Okay...okay..." Xu Zhe agreed, his tone remarkably natural. After quickly finishing their meal, Xue'er grabbed Xu Zhe's right arm with both hands, her foot already throbbing with pain. Her injury hadn't fully healed, and she'd just forced herself to walk for half an hour... Xu Zhe tried to appear calm, but his heart was pounding violently inside him, as if it were about to explode. Xu Zhe had no idea how they had walked all the way; he only knew that he and Xue'er had unknowingly arrived at a small park. By a small lake, Xue'er stopped, closed her eyes, and finally let go of Xu Zhe's arm, stretching out in a big yawn, as if breathing in the fresh air. Xu Zhe also unconsciously closed his eyes, but what he inhaled was the delicate fragrance of Xue'er's hair, a scent even more intoxicating than nature itself. The park wasn't large, but it was beautiful. The lake shimmered, and occasionally, playful couples and happy families of three would glide by in small boats—a heartwarming scene. Along the lake, some college students working part-time had found a business opportunity. With drawing boards and pencils, they drew portraits of passersby, earning a meager extra income. Some even set up easels and painted oil paintings… "Alright, keep your promise and paint a portrait with me." "Smiling Xue'er turned around, her hands clasped behind her back, her smile so sweet. Xu Zhe wanted to say, 'Your every smile and frown is a beautiful painting, and even the world's paints couldn't capture your beauty…' 'Painting?' Xu Zhe was a little confused, not quite understanding Xue'er's meaning. 'I just want you to paint a picture for me.' Xue'er lowered her head slightly, a blush creeping onto her fair face. 'But I haven't painted properly for years, I've forgotten…' Xu Zhe scratched the back of his head, a little afraid that under Xue'er's gaze, he wouldn't be able to concentrate on picking up a paintbrush. 'No, I've seen your sketchbook, they're all very good. To be honest, I never knew I could be so focused in class.'" "Xue'er vehemently rejected Xu Zhe's excuse, 'But it's a pity they're all profile shots, without any background, a waste of your talent…'" Xu Zhe didn't speak, but a faint, happy smile appeared on his face, solely because of Xue'er's praise. "If you're not afraid of being portrayed unattractively…" With his hands in his pockets, Xu Zhe casually shrugged. "Great!"Excitedly, she grabbed Xu Zhe's wrist and led him towards the college students painting... Actually, the final outcome was quite unexpected for Xu Zhe... Xue'er sat sideways on a wooden bench by the lake, her legs crossed, her back to the beautiful lake view. Her posture was casual, her expression natural. A charming smile radiated from her face, as if happiness surrounded her constantly. Meanwhile, Xu Zhe's situation was quite "spectacular"... Sitting in front of an easel, Xu Zhe held a palette in one hand and a paintbrush in the other, sketching natural colors on the pristine white canvas. Standing beside him was the owner of the painting stall, a female college student in her mid-twenties. She was a little bewildered by Xu Zhe's business, as Xue'er had insisted on having him paint. Initially, she thought it was just a bored couple playing around with high art. But when she saw Xu Zhe's every move on the canvas, the female college student was amazed. She was amazed that such a young boy possessed such skillful technique. The overall atmosphere created by the painting is so evocative that it's worthy of exhibition. Without being immodest, he wasn't just painting; he was capturing a fleeting moment of beauty, recording its most exquisite essence with brush, paint, and a blank canvas… Xu Zhe's excellence wasn't discovered by just one person. People who were simply passing by stopped and walked behind him to watch. Even university students with no business nearby were drawn to observe. Even more remarkably, some couples who were chatting suddenly forgot what they were saying and slowly walked behind Xu Zhe to admire his work. Xu Zhe himself was unaware of all this. Because when he truly began to paint, his vision was solely focused on the image he was imprinting. Hearing, smell, taste—everything else vanished… When the much-anticipated "masterpiece" was finished, a round of applause erupted from behind him, startling Xu Zhe. Looking back, Xu Zhe wasn't surprised... There were now at least thirty people gathered, all applauding and cheering for him. "That's amazing! Are you from an art academy? Or a student of some famous artist? To be able to create such a work!" The female college student kept praising him, forgetting to ask Xu Zhe for money. "No... no, actually I'm just a second-year junior high student." Xu Zhe scratched the back of his head, feeling embarrassed. "A second-year junior high student? How can you have such brushwork? Now I know what a genius is..." The female college student seemed to greatly admire Xu Zhe. "A genius? I don't think so... it's just... your paint isn't mixed properly, the red is a bit off-color, you should change it..." Xu Zhe didn't want to say it, but he still kindly reminded her. "Let's go, the painting is finished." At this moment, Xue'er also came over, excitedly paid for the painting, picked up her own oil painting, and quickly pulled Xu Zhe away from the crowd. Xue'er's reaction was somewhat unusual... Time passed by unnoticed, dusk gradually fell, the sky was bathed in a beautiful golden light, and those who had gone out for sightseeing began to head home. Xu Zhe and Xue'er also walked silently, but they didn't know where they were going. Just like before, Xue'er walked ahead, holding the oil painting in her hands and examining it closely, while Xu Zhe followed behind with his hands in his pockets. They walked until they reached an old locust tree, where Xue'er finally sat down. Because of the location, there was only one wooden bench nearby, so Xu Zhe had to sit next to Xue'er... To be honest, every creator feels happy when someone looks at their work with appreciative eyes. But Xu Zhe felt extremely uneasy, like handing in an assignment for the teacher to grade, afraid of being found to have made even the slightest mistake... "Aren't you going to a wedding?" "Looking at her watch, Xue'er asked softly to the person beside her. "Actually...actually, I didn't want to go either. I don't know my mom's classmates very well..." Xu Zhe covered one lie with another, changing the subject by looking at the painting in Xue'er's hand, "How does it feel? I haven't painted in oils for almost three years, so it feels a bit rusty, and the paint mixing isn't very good either..." "No, no! You painted it very well! I feel like I'm living in this painting...Actually, I'm really embarrassed to ask, am I as beautiful as the person in the painting?" Xue'er was even more insecure than Xu Zhe had imagined, and this insecurity was only shown in front of Xu Zhe. "You know what? You are definitely a thousand times more beautiful than the person in the painting." Xu Zhe thought to himself. "Actually, in junior high school, everyone thought you would go to an art school, after all, your paintings are so good." Silently turning her head, Xue'er felt that her eyes could not leave the beautiful picture. "How did you know I could paint? I don't think I painted anything in elementary school." "Back then, Mom hired a tutor, and I had extra lessons every day." Xu Zhe was a little confused. "Have you forgotten? For six years in elementary school, you were the publicity committee member, responsible for the blackboard bulletin board at the back of the classroom. Every week when the blackboard bulletin board needed to be changed, you would finish everything by yourself on the last day at noon. You wouldn't even go home or eat." When recalling the past, Xue'er's face would unconsciously light up with a smile. Looking up at the twilight sky, the sunset was as red as blood, even the white clouds had lost their original color. Only at this moment could Xu Zhe have a calm conversation with Xue'er. "Actually, I didn't really want to do the blackboard bulletin board, because writing with chalk is so tiring." Xu Zhe confessed his feelings to Xue'er for the first time, "I had the title of publicity committee member, but no one listened to me. Even if I wanted to find a brother to help, no one was willing to eat chalk dust, so I had to do it myself." "Really? So many girls liked you back then, I think no one would refuse you if you just said one word?" "Xue'er looked at Xu Zhe in surprise, and one sentence from her almost made him sit down on the ground. "Don't be ridiculous! How could that be? My grades are average, my looks are so-so, I'm fat, short, and bad at sports. Who would like me?" Xu Zhe laughed awkwardly, taking Xue'er's words as a joke. "It's true, don't you think that on the day you put together the blackboard newspaper, many female classmates wouldn't go home at noon?" Xue'er helped Xu Zhe recall. "Now that you mention it..." Xu Zhe remembered that back then, his friends used to jokingly refer to the female classmates' "those days" each month as "that day" each week."Actually, everyone stayed to watch you draw..." Xue'er lowered her head silently, her eyes filled with happiness. "Because your drawing silhouette always had an indescribable charm, making it impossible to look away. The girls all liked to talk about you; everyone thought you were a monster. An ordinary blackboard would come alive in your hands. Even objects drawn with colored chalk would always be made extraordinary by you. For three years of junior high, our class never came in second place in the monthly grade-level blackboard newspaper competition." "I remember... Because of that, every month at the class meeting I would bring a notebook with a bright red 'Award' printed on it, like the 'wages' I earned after working four jobs." Thinking of this, Xu Zhe smiled faintly, a little helpless. "Because every time I make a blackboard newspaper, my hands ache for a whole day. After all, drawing on a blackboard with chalk and drawing on paper with a paintbrush are two different ways of consuming energy..." Xue'er looked at Xu Zhe beside her, her smile still as sweet as ever. "Do you know what the common wish of all the girls in our class is?" Xue'er looked at Xu Zhe beside her, her smile still as sweet as ever. "Everyone wants you to draw a portrait of them... But you're always so cool and don't talk to any girls. You just sit in your seat daydreaming after class, like you're someone to be avoided. So a lot of girls only dare to have a crush on you..." "Don't kid me, how could that be..." Xu Zhe still didn't believe it. "It's true!" Xue'er's excited appearance startled Xu Zhe. The conversation unconsciously calmed down, and time passed silently until the streetlights on the roadside dimly lit up... "Excuse me, can you take me home?" Xue'er asked quietly, still a little timidly. "Sure, I'm free anyway." Xu Zhe still showed his usual indifference. It was another quiet walk, with Xue'er walking ahead, holding her own painting in her arms. Xu Zhe, following behind, unexpectedly became nervous… The closer they got to Xue'er's house, the clearer the buried thought in his heart became—"confessing." If he missed today, Xu Zhe didn't know when he would be able to tell Xue'er how much he loved her. Perhaps for the rest of their lives, they would remain in this front-and-back relationship, maintaining an unchanging distance… At an intersection, at the zebra crossing, there were no pedestrians, no vehicles, only the towering building on the other side of the road reminding Xu Zhe that they had arrived at Xue'er's house… Waiting for the traffic light to turn on, Xue'er naturally stepped across the zebra crossing, while Xu Zhe stopped just in the middle. He took his hand out of his pocket and clenched it into a fist. Only after Xue'er had crossed the road did she realize that a figure was missing behind her… Clutching the oil painting, Xue'er turned around, looking blankly at the serious-faced Xu Zhe. At this moment, all she could hear was her own pounding heartbeat, and her breathing became inexplicably rapid. Xu Zhe prayed to God for courage. "Xue'er...please let me call you that...there are some things I...I've waited so long to say...if I don't say them now, I don't know when I'll have the chance to tell you again...I love you! It's not just liking, I want to talk to you, I want to be with you, I want to do everything with you. I've thought about it for so long! But I...but I also know I'm so ordinary, I'm not worthy of you at all. But I still want to tell you, I love you!" Having said it, finally said it, Xu Zhe felt all the emotions that had been building up for eight years released at once, like a prisoner released from jail. Now, Xu Zhe was once again waiting for Xue'er to "sentence" his love...whether they would be happily together or cruelly rejected, it all depended on Xue'er's words. Xue'er lowered her head slightly, her expression so aggrieved, and Xu Zhe's heart died halfway. "So it turns out I wasn't just in love all along... I should have just said it first... I wouldn't have had to wait eight long years..." In an instant, in a flash, in a second, Xu Zhe felt the earth spinning, his ears ringing. Even an idiot could understand the meaning behind Xue'er's words. "So that means you've always liked me too?!" Xu Zhe blankly pointed to himself, his expression indescribably complex. "Don't ask anymore, I've already said it..." Xue'er's cheeks were as red as the setting sun. At this moment, neither of them noticed that a speeding Dongfeng truck was rapidly approaching, the driver already asleep on the steering wheel due to fatigue. Happiness and nightmares are often closer than imagined... Xue'er was the first to feel the roar of the engine. Turning her head, she saw the speeding truck was already ten meters away. "Xu Zhe!" With a shout, Xue'er dropped the painting in her hand and rushed towards Xu Zhe. When Xu Zhe turned his head, he was faced with a huge truck front and dazzling headlights. His body felt as if it were filled with molten lead, unable to move an inch… His mind was blank; Xu Zhe's only instinct was to turn and look at Xue'er, who was approaching. Because of her foot injury, Xue'er had fallen… just three meters in front of him. Xu Zhe would never forget that anxious look in her eyes. Today, he did nothing. He locked himself in his room, squatted in a corner, and stared blankly at the oil painting before him. Six years ago, his soul no longer belonged to that lonely, withdrawn child; living was merely preserving its freshness. He knew he had never resented anything. He didn't hate the world, nor society, and never felt there was anything to complain about in life. His resentment… stemmed from her cruelty, abandoning him before he even knew why… Looking at his old diary, he smiled, then closed his eyes tightly. He knew she would return, with a happy smile, to tell him she was waiting for him in the Western Paradise, to be with him forever. Six years ago today, I broke the paintbrush I once thought would accompany me for life. Ha, ha…If he missed today, Xu Zhe didn't know when he would be able to confess his love to Xue'er. Perhaps for the rest of their lives, they would remain in this front-and-back relationship, maintaining an unchanging distance... At an intersection, at the zebra crossing, there were no pedestrians, no vehicles, only the towering building across the street reminding Xu Zhe that Xue'er's home was near... Waiting for the traffic light to turn on, Xue'er naturally stepped across the zebra crossing, while Xu Zhe, following behind, stopped just in the middle. He took his hand out of his pocket and clenched it into a tight fist. Only after Xue'er had crossed the street did she realize that a figure was missing behind her... Clutching the oil painting, Xue'er turned around, looking blankly at the serious-faced Xu Zhe. At that moment, all she could hear was her own pounding heartbeat, and her breathing became inexplicably rapid. Xu Zhe prayed to God for courage. "Xue'er...please let me call you that...there are some things I...I've waited so long to say...if I don't say them now, I don't know when I'll have the chance to tell you again...I love you! It's not just liking, I want to talk to you, I want to be with you, I want to do everything with you. I've thought about it for so long! But I...but I also know I'm so ordinary, I'm not worthy of you at all. But I still want to tell you, I love you!" Having said it, finally said it, Xu Zhe felt all the emotions that had been building up for eight years released at once, like a prisoner released from jail. Now, Xu Zhe was once again waiting for Xue'er to "sentence" his love...whether they would be happily together or cruelly rejected, it all depended on Xue'er's words. Xue'er lowered her head slightly, her expression so aggrieved, and Xu Zhe's heart died halfway. "So it turns out I wasn't just in love all along... I should have just said it first... I wouldn't have had to wait eight long years..." In an instant, in a flash, in a second, Xu Zhe felt the earth spinning, his ears ringing. Even an idiot could understand the meaning behind Xue'er's words. "So that means you've always liked me too?!" Xu Zhe blankly pointed to himself, his expression indescribably complex. "Don't ask anymore, I've already said it..." Xue'er's cheeks were as red as the setting sun. At this moment, neither of them noticed that a speeding Dongfeng truck was rapidly approaching, the driver already asleep on the steering wheel due to fatigue. Happiness and nightmares are often closer than imagined... Xue'er was the first to feel the roar of the engine. Turning her head, she saw the speeding truck was already ten meters away. "Xu Zhe!" With a shout, Xue'er dropped the painting in her hand and rushed towards Xu Zhe. When Xu Zhe turned his head, he was faced with a huge truck front and dazzling headlights. His body felt as if it were filled with molten lead, unable to move an inch… His mind was blank; Xu Zhe's only instinct was to turn and look at Xue'er, who was approaching. Because of her foot injury, Xue'er had fallen… just three meters in front of him. Xu Zhe would never forget that anxious look in her eyes. Today, he did nothing. He locked himself in his room, squatted in a corner, and stared blankly at the oil painting before him. Six years ago, his soul no longer belonged to that lonely, withdrawn child; living was merely preserving its freshness. He knew he had never resented anything. He didn't hate the world, nor society, and never felt there was anything to complain about in life. His resentment… stemmed from her cruelty, abandoning him before he even knew why… Looking at his old diary, he smiled, then closed his eyes tightly. He knew she would return, with a happy smile, to tell him she was waiting for him in the Western Paradise, to be with him forever. Six years ago today, I broke the paintbrush I once thought would accompany me for life. Ha, ha…If he missed today, Xu Zhe didn't know when he would be able to confess his love to Xue'er. Perhaps for the rest of their lives, they would remain in this front-and-back relationship, maintaining an unchanging distance... At an intersection, at the zebra crossing, there were no pedestrians, no vehicles, only the towering building across the street reminding Xu Zhe that Xue'er's home was near... Waiting for the traffic light to turn on, Xue'er naturally stepped across the zebra crossing, while Xu Zhe, following behind, stopped just in the middle. He took his hand out of his pocket and clenched it into a tight fist. Only after Xue'er had crossed the street did she realize that a figure was missing behind her... Clutching the oil painting, Xue'er turned around, looking blankly at the serious-faced Xu Zhe. At that moment, all she could hear was her own pounding heartbeat, and her breathing became inexplicably rapid. Xu Zhe prayed to God for courage. "Xue'er...please let me call you that...there are some things I...I've waited so long to say...if I don't say them now, I don't know when I'll have the chance to tell you again...I love you! It's not just liking, I want to talk to you, I want to be with you, I want to do everything with you. I've thought about it for so long! But I...but I also know I'm so ordinary, I'm not worthy of you at all. But I still want to tell you, I love you!" Having said it, finally said it, Xu Zhe felt all the emotions that had been building up for eight years released at once, like a prisoner released from jail. Now, Xu Zhe was once again waiting for Xue'er to "sentence" his love...whether they would be happily together or cruelly rejected, it all depended on Xue'er's words. Xue'er lowered her head slightly, her expression so aggrieved, and Xu Zhe's heart died halfway. "So it turns out I wasn't just in love all along... I should have just said it first... I wouldn't have had to wait eight long years..." In an instant, in a flash, in a second, Xu Zhe felt the earth spinning, his ears ringing. Even an idiot could understand the meaning behind Xue'er's words. "So that means you've always liked me too?!" Xu Zhe blankly pointed to himself, his expression indescribably complex. "Don't ask anymore, I've already said it..." Xue'er's cheeks were as red as the setting sun. At this moment, neither of them noticed that a speeding Dongfeng truck was rapidly approaching, the driver already asleep on the steering wheel due to fatigue. Happiness and nightmares are often closer than imagined... Xue'er was the first to feel the roar of the engine. Turning her head, she saw the speeding truck was already ten meters away. "Xu Zhe!" With a shout, Xue'er dropped the painting in her hand and rushed towards Xu Zhe. When Xu Zhe turned his head, he was faced with a huge truck front and dazzling headlights. His body felt as if it were filled with molten lead, unable to move an inch… His mind was blank; Xu Zhe's only instinct was to turn and look at Xue'er, who was approaching. Because of her foot injury, Xue'er had fallen… just three meters in front of him. Xu Zhe would never forget that anxious look in her eyes. Today, he did nothing. He locked himself in his room, squatted in a corner, and stared blankly at the oil painting before him. Six years ago, his soul no longer belonged to that lonely, withdrawn child; living was merely preserving its freshness. He knew he had never resented anything. He didn't hate the world, nor society, and never felt there was anything to complain about in life. His resentment… stemmed from her cruelty, abandoning him before he even knew why… Looking at his old diary, he smiled, then closed his eyes tightly. He knew she would return, with a happy smile, to tell him she was waiting for him in the Western Paradise, to be with him forever. Six years ago today, I broke the paintbrush I once thought would accompany me for life. Ha, ha…

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Xu Zhe's story of sexual happiness

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