Sister's Lover 2

(5)
Since most of my time in the second year of graduate school is spent on writing my thesis, the workload in the first year is quite heavy, far exceeding that of my undergraduate years. I had only just become familiar with the environment and facilities of the new school when the exams and reports that followed quickly overwhelmed me.
Near the end of the year, I had a subject report on market consumer behavior that I had to submit, which included actual data from a market survey. I estimated that I would need at least one hundred valid questionnaires. During a break, I prepared the questionnaire and planned to conduct it randomly on the streets of Taipei on a day off.
To lighten the workload that day, I asked my sister to take five of the questionnaires to her office to ask her colleagues for help. My sister asked when the submission deadline was and readily agreed.
Since the questionnaires were due in class the following Thursday, I calculated that as long as I could get the questionnaires by Sunday, plus four days of analysis, organization, typing, and formatting, it wouldn't be difficult to complete the task on time.
If my sister could help with half the work, we could probably finish the questionnaire in less than half a day, leaving us with extra time to watch a movie or go for a walk. My sister loves me, she'd definitely agree.
With this plan in mind, I continued to focus on my studies, making the most of every minute at school to get home early and spend more time with my sister. I wanted to be able to spend quality time with her easily and comfortably at home.
I remember it was Thursday night. I didn't leave the lab until after 8 pm. It was drizzling, and the air was damp and chilly. For convenience, I didn't wear a raincoat and rode my motorcycle along Roosevelt Road. The raindrops created halos in front of my glasses, impairing visibility. I didn't dare ride fast, only daring to stay in the motorcycle lane.
The temperature wasn't low, but the dampness brought a chill, especially with the biting night wind. I tucked my neck into my turtleneck sweater, thinking of my sister at home, and a warm feeling welled up inside me.
My sister must have eaten out before coming home. She must have showered first, then changed into a silk two-piece nightgown, and watched TV with her bare feet up. She must have been nonchalant, sipping her fruit tea while keeping track of the time, perhaps her half-wet hair still carrying a strong musky scent.
I laughed as I rode, because I remembered the day I washed her underwear. My sister's underwear was so smooth and cute. If she wore it, it would be incredibly alluring, captivating everyone's attention. And her shyness back then—was it just sibling embarrassment? What I was holding was fabric that was in contact with her private parts 24/7. Didn't she feel the ambiguous sexual undertones it carried?
The red light was on! I stopped at the intersection in the bustling Gongguan district. It was just past eight o'clock, and there were many people and cars. Cars were parked on the road, while people huddled under the arcades. Colorful umbrellas formed a sea of flowers, almost drowning out the crowd. After the green light came on, I moved forward with the traffic. In the crowd, I thought I saw my sister. I moved closer to the roadside and looked under the damp arcade. Was that woman with jet-black hair, a blue woolen coat, and tight black trousers my sister? Yes! It was my sister! That round, perky, narrow bottom must be my sister. What was she doing on the street on such a damp and cold night? I watched my sister from afar. She was holding a stack of white papers, trying to strike up a conversation with passersby. Most people shook her off and ignored her. A few stopped, whispered a few words, and then left. But she persisted, asking each person one by one. I took a few steps forward and saw that my sister's hair was wet, her bangs were wind-up, and her light blue sweater had several patches of navy blue stains. Suddenly, a lump formed in my throat, and I shouted to her, "Sister!" My sister heard me and waved, still talking to the passersby. I went up to her and asked, "Sister! What are you doing?" She gave the passersby an apologetic look and replied, "Didn't you see? I'm helping you with a questionnaire!" The white paper in her hand was covered with lines of fine print—it was the questionnaire I had designed! "You...you...on such a cold night, instead of staying home, you're out on the street handing out questionnaires. How can I bear this..." I felt both heartache and anger. I snatched the questionnaire from her hand and tried to pull her away. "I thought it would be nice to finish this for you since I'm free tonight..." she murmured as I pulled her along. Before she could finish, I interrupted her loudly, "You have no idea how much it hurts me. From now on, I'll handle my own affairs; you don't need to worry about me!" "Oh... are you angry? I was thinking of finishing this first. You can come out with me on Saturday and Sunday!" My sister, like a child who had done something wrong, obediently followed me. Hearing her say this, I couldn't help but burst into tears. Sister! Why are you so good to me? Why do you let me indulge in your tenderness? Aren't you afraid I'll become addicted and be doomed? Or is your love for me as deep as my love for you? I wanted to scream, to hug my sister tightly, and tell her not to spoil me with your doting ways, because it would make me misunderstand! I wandered around for a long time, my thoughts racing, when my sister suddenly asked me, "Brother! Where are you going, wandering around like this?" I looked around and was stunned. "Yeah! Where am I going?" My sister chuckled and took my hand, leading me back. "Silly boy! The car is over here!" Although the rain was getting heavier, I didn't feel cold at all with my sister by my side. After a few steps, my sister snuggled into my arms and whispered, "Don't get angry!" I pouted and replied, "Who's angry?" Of course, if you understood my heart, you would know that I wasn't angry, but heartbroken! (6) My sister and I maintained this ambiguous love. Although I suspected that my sister also had romantic feelings for me, I couldn't test her, because no matter what the answer was, it would be an unbearable result for me. I love my sister, and my sister loves me. The love between two people should have been a blessed union, but the fact that the object of our affection was siblings made it an unforgivable relationship. Once I misunderstood my sister's feelings, mistaking familial affection for romantic love, I was met with even greater heartbreak. Rather than be heartbroken or bear the stigma of incest, it was better to let things take their natural course. Until one day, I was drinking with my professor and senior classmates to celebrate his sixtieth birthday. That night, I drank too much and could barely walk. My sister called me, and I could only mumble for her to come pick me up, because I couldn't even ride a bike. As soon as she arrived, I collapsed onto the back seat of the car, and with the bumpy ride, I vomited all over the car and myself. I vaguely heard my sister complaining repeatedly, telling me to drink less, saying it made her sad. When I woke up again, I was back in my room. I felt like I was sleeping in a warm, cloud-like place, with a warm current flowing over me. When I opened my eyes, I saw my sister. My sister was holding me, her head bowed, wiping my body with a hot towel. She was so focused that she didn't notice I was awake. By the touch of her skin, I knew I was completely naked, my entire bare body pressed against her chest. I didn't dare open my eyes, afraid she would be embarrassed if she knew I was awake. I could only feel the hot towel sliding over my armpits, over my lower abdomen, even my penis and scrotum. Finally, she gently parted my legs and carefully wiped my buttocks. Through my sister's silk nightgown, I could feel her rapid breathing, her body burning hot. Her heart was restless, her desire surging. As she caressed the naked body of a mature man, how could her mind escape the thought of being completely naked before her, while she was carefully and gently wiping away my filth? My mind raced, and my penis inexplicably became erect. I felt embarrassed and dared not open my eyes. My sister probably noticed too. Her delicate body trembled. Seeing that I hadn't opened my eyes, she softly called out, "Ah Sheng! Ah Sheng! Are you awake?" Her rapid heartbeat pounded against my arm. I didn't open my eyes. My sister held her breath for a long time, then suddenly gently grasped my penis and said softly, "You're so naughty even when you're drunk! You scared me to death! If you woke up, I really wouldn't know what to do." Her warm little hand held my penis firmly, slippery and smooth. The more comfortable I felt, the more erect my penis became. I really wanted to jump up and hug my sister, forgetting all about incest and perverse love. My sister held it for a long time before her breathing gradually calmed down. Suddenly, she sighed, "Oh! Can I tell you I love you? God! You're my brother, my own brother... I... what should I do?" I felt my eyes getting hot and my heart warm. I finally knew that my sister loved me, not just sibling love, but romantic love. A sister could caress every inch of her brother's skin, even his private parts and anus without a care. That transcended the kinship that siblings should have; it was a sincere and profound love. With joy, I fell asleep again. Because I had drunk a lot of alcohol, it was easy for my feigned sleep to turn into real sleep. However, it was better to be asleep. There were some things I had to think about carefully, so that I wouldn't let embarrassment, awkwardness, or impulsiveness stop me from loving my sister. (7) Now that I know my sister's feelings for me, how can I let her know my heart? In the following days, I was caught in the biggest problem of my life. I wanted to confess my feelings to my sister immediately, but I was afraid that a sudden confession would stir up a pool of spring water and make my sister run away in panic. Everything needed to be prepared, but where was the bottom line for preparation? Should I just suffer like this day after day? It's okay to suffer, but the worst thing is to face the person I love every day. I know she loves me and I love her, but I can't take things further. The desire that I deliberately suppressed is like a time bomb tied to my body. One day it will explode, collapse, and shatter. My appearance is human, but my heart is slowly transforming into a beast. My sister has become more prone to blushing! An ambiguous atmosphere has formed between the two of us. She still cooks a sumptuous dinner of four dishes and a soup every day, but I go home more punctually every day. After dinner, my sister, as usual, took a shower first, then curled up on the sofa watching TV. I spent less time reading and became more interested in watching her. The beast forming within me gradually compelled me to commit shameful acts. I started showering right after my sister, then, wearing only tight briefs and a t-shirt, I would move around in front of her, sometimes sitting opposite her and staring at her, sometimes pressing my thighs tightly against her pink legs. I was seducing my sister, and wasn't she seducing me in return? Before, I wouldn't have dared to think too much about her dressed like this; it was considered comfortable. Now, knowing she loved me deeply, I saw her as a young woman, and her alluring appearance—half-revealed in her t-shirt, her body slightly exposed—was definitely tempting me. A predatory beast lurked within us, forcing us to walk a tightrope; one wrong step, and we would both perish! Looking at my sister with the eyes of a woman, she was beautiful! She was so beautiful it made my blood boil, so beautiful it made my heart race. Sitting across from my sister, I could see her glistening shoulders and full, rounded breasts beneath her thin-strapped nightgown. Though only half of one was visible, they were a captivating pink. The soft fabric seemed to threaten to reveal her nipples, like ripe dates. My sister always watched TV with her legs tucked in, knees drawn up. She must have done it on purpose. No matter how much she pulled her knee-length skirt, it couldn't hide her alluring figure. Although she wore underwear, the fabric crotch was so tight it only accentuated her narrow vulva, adding to the lewdness. My sister must know my reaction. Every time she saw the beautiful cleavage outlined by those fleshy mounds, my underwear would bulge, like a swollen sausage rising between my legs, drawing my attention. And yet, she could still talk to me, speaking slowly and deliberately with a flushed face. I always gave in and retreated to my room, trying to seduce her bulging flesh back into shape. Finally, I couldn't hold back any longer. A burning lust consumed my reason, a ferocious beast tore at my soul. I turned and embraced my sister, my chest pressing against her soft breasts, my penis against her deep cleavage. I gasped for breath, her fiery body throbbing. She paused in my arms for a moment, then softly asked, "Brother! What's wrong?" Caught off guard, I blurted out, "Sister smells so good! So beautiful!" and fled back to my room. I knew my sister was waiting for me to confront her! If I saw her as a woman, then a man should take the initiative, no longer letting my sister dictate everything. As for the uncertain future between us, and the societal condemnation and guilt regarding incest, that should be my responsibility. But if I ran away, she would still be my sister. The burden of being a man...I wouldn't run away. I deeply love my sister and want to offer her a gentle yet strong shoulder to lean on. I just wasn't ready yet. In the days that followed, I avoided my sister. Sometimes I was busy in the lab until the wee hours, and other times I would exchange a few words with her before quickly retreating to my room. My sister knew my inner conflict, because her struggle was no less intense than mine. She still spoke to me with concern whenever she saw me, her tone as usual, but her worried expression was subtly visible. I knew she saw this difficult problem as a test for our love, a preventative measure against future hardships. Love had been brewing since childhood, but blossomed in adulthood. Its authenticity didn't need to be investigated; it filled our hearts. However, its reality could only be judged by a simple binary: reality is lush and everlasting, while illusion is a fleeting dream, buried deep in our hearts. For both of us, this was a choice without failure. No matter how deep the pit of fire, it was up to me whether to jump in! I know that the biggest problem in front of me is the conflict and dismantling of family relationships caused by the love between siblings. This involves the obstruction of elders, the condemnation of public opinion, and the genetic abnormality of offspring. It is a fact that consanguineous marriage is prone to giving birth to children with intellectual disabilities. Everyone will use this reason to criticize and despise me. But I love my sister! Without my sister, I might never want to get married in my life. How can I have offspring? Moreover, with my sister, I can adopt orphans and raise and nurture them with complete love. In the future, a large family will not be a dream! As for how our parents and society view us, there is only one way to solve it, which is to escape! Escape to remote and impoverished areas, escape to foreign lands. Who will know that we are siblings? But can I do it? Is my sister willing? My parents lost two children. How can they bear it? (8) One weekend morning in December, my sister went to work while I was at home rushing to finish a report. The doorbell rang. I pushed open the door and saw Ah Jie. I invited him to sit in the living room. "My sister's not here! It's a short weekend, she has to go to work." I made a cup of coffee for A-Jie. "No! I came to see you!" "What do you need?" I asked curiously. "Xiao-Xin has rarely gone on dates with me since you moved in! When I asked her if she had a new boyfriend, she wouldn't tell me. Could you tell me?" A-Jie lit a cigarette, his eyes looking a little forlorn. "No way! She stays home all weekend, she probably doesn't have time to date a new boyfriend!" "But I've noticed she's been radiant lately, smiling much more. I can't help but suspect something. Is there some happy occasion at your home that's making her so happy?" "No! Hmm... I guess it's because I come over to keep her company and tell her jokes that she's getting prettier and prettier!" "Oh! I see! Then I've misunderstood her. Actually, Xiao Xin is a really gentle and virtuous girl. Not only is she beautiful and intelligent, but most importantly, she has a strong sense of family. Whoever marries her will truly live a fulfilling life. Yet, she's so aloof and indifferent towards me. I really don't know what to do to make her like me." Ah Jie sighed. "I understand! Even I, her younger brother, can't figure her out." Yes! I don't understand why my sister loves me, her brother. "I've never seen a sister dote on her brother like this. Sometimes I feel like you're her man, and I'm just her follower." Seeing my silence, he continued, "You know, I've known her for over six months, and most of our conversations are about you. Like when she took you to the stream to catch oysters when you were little, and you'd follow her around with a basin, picking them up. Or how you got a beating from Dad for stealing mangoes from the neighbor for her. And that time you were riding a motorcycle with her on the back when you had an accident, and you shielded her with your body." He was covered in wounds while she was unharmed… She said so much, now I probably know more about your childhood than you do.” I felt a sweet warmth in my heart, and I was speechless. He looked at me and sighed: “Sigh! Sometimes I really think she lives for you. When she goes shopping, she always goes to the men’s section, not to buy for me, but for you. When she finally holds up clothes to me, she’s actually measuring your size. When we go to a fun place, she carefully notes the location and details, saying she’ll bring you next time. Once she insisted that I queue up to buy her Ricky and Martin’s concert tickets.” "I queued all morning for the tickets, thinking she wanted me to go with her, but it turns out the tickets were for you. I got angry with her, and she said I was petty, getting angry with my own brother. I... I don't know what to do!" He frowned, exhaling a puff of smoke. "Sometimes I envy you so much, having all of Xiao Xin's love. If I were you, I would love her with my whole life, even if it meant bearing the stigma of incest. After all, she's such a rare woman!" Seeing my face flush and pale, he quickly explained, "I was just saying..." "How could I be you? And how could you possibly love your own sister?" I thought he had guessed the unusual relationship between my sister and me, and my heart skipped a beat. Luckily, he was just making things up, so I couldn't help but laugh and say, "It's okay! Maybe you haven't tried hard enough. If you just put in more effort, I believe even a heart of stone will be moved!" "Yes! That would be for the best, but I always feel that you are my greatest rival. With you in the world, Xiao Xin can't possibly love me. Do you want me to kill you... haha... kill you... hahaha..." Seeing that I didn't laugh, he could only laugh self-deprecatingly. I didn't know how to answer, so I could only give him a bitter smile. The atmosphere suddenly became a little strange. Realizing he had misspoke, he quickly stood up and apologized: "I'm sorry! I misspoke! Because I'm just too jealous of you. Your sister loves you so much, you must treat her well in the future. She's not young anymore, how much of her youth can she afford to waste?" After saying that, he gave me a meaningful look and left. "She's not young anymore, how much more of her youth can she waste?" These thirteen words were like a boulder thrown into the lake of my heart, stirring up waves that rippled gently and persistently. I knew he meant I shouldn't hold onto my sister's affections for too long, leaving room for other men to pursue her. But then I suddenly remembered that my sister was approaching thirty; how much time did she have left to waste with me? She could live for me, so why couldn't I live for him? Her waiting undoubtedly showed that she had already given up everything. No matter how great the storm! With my sister by my side, I had no regrets in this life. At this moment, I finally made up my mind.You, when you were little, she would take you to the stream to catch oysters, and you would follow behind her with a basin to pick them up. You got a beating from your father for stealing mangoes from the neighbor to give to her. And once you were riding a motorcycle with her on the back when you had a car accident, but you protected her with your body, getting injured all over yourself while she was unharmed... She said so many things, and now I probably know more about your childhood than you do. "Hearing this, I felt a sweet warmth in my heart, and I was speechless. He looked at me and sighed: 'Sigh! Sometimes I really think she lives for you. When she goes shopping, she always goes to the men's section, not to buy for me, but for you. When she finally gets a piece of clothing to hold up against me, she's actually measuring your size. When we go to a fun place, she carefully notes the location and details, saying she'll bring you next time. Once, she insisted I queue up to buy her tickets to a Ricky and Martin concert. I queued all morning, thinking she wanted me to go with her, but it turned out the tickets were for you. I got angry with her, and she said I was petty, getting angry with my own brother. I... I don't know what to do!' He frowned and exhaled a puff of smoke: 'Sometimes I envy you so much, having all of Xiao Xin's love.'" "If it were you, I'd love her with my whole life, even if it meant bearing the stigma of incest. After all, she's such a rare woman!" Seeing my face flush and pale, he quickly explained, "I was just saying. How could I be you? And how could you love your own sister?" I thought he had guessed the unusual feelings between me and my sister, and my heart skipped a beat. Luckily, he was just making things up, so I couldn't help but laugh and say, "It's okay! Maybe you haven't tried hard enough. If you put in more effort, even a stone can be moved!" "Yes! That would be best, but I always feel that you are my greatest rival. With you in the world, Xiao Xin can't possibly love me. Should I kill you... haha... kill you... hahaha..." Seeing that I didn't laugh, he could only laugh self-deprecatingly. I didn't know how to answer, so I could only give him a bitter smile. The atmosphere suddenly became awkward. Realizing his slip of the tongue, he quickly stood up and apologized: "I'm sorry! I misspoke! I was just so jealous of you. Your sister dotes on you so much; you must treat her well in the future. She's not young anymore; how much of her youth can she afford to waste?" He gave me a meaningful look and left. Those thirteen words, "She's not young anymore; how much of her youth can she afford to waste?" were like a boulder thrown into a still lake, creating ripples that lingered and deepened over time. I knew he meant I shouldn't hold onto my sister's affections for too long, leaving room for other men to pursue her. But I suddenly remembered that my sister was approaching thirty; how much time did she have left to waste with me? She could live for me; why couldn't I live for him? Her waiting undoubtedly showed that she had already given up everything. No matter how big the storm! With my sister by my side, I had no regrets in this life. At that moment, I finally made up my mind.You, when you were little, she would take you to the stream to catch oysters, and you would follow behind her with a basin to pick them up. You got a beating from your father for stealing mangoes from the neighbor to give to her. And once you were riding a motorcycle with her on the back when you had a car accident, but you protected her with your body, getting injured all over yourself while she was unharmed... She said so many things, and now I probably know more about your childhood than you do. "Hearing this, I felt a sweet warmth in my heart, and I was speechless. He looked at me and sighed: 'Sigh! Sometimes I really think she lives for you. When she goes shopping, she always goes to the men's section, not to buy for me, but for you. When she finally gets a piece of clothing to hold up against me, she's actually measuring your size. When we go to a fun place, she carefully notes the location and details, saying she'll bring you next time. Once, she insisted I queue up to buy her tickets to a Ricky and Martin concert. I queued all morning, thinking she wanted me to go with her, but it turned out the tickets were for you. I got angry with her, and she said I was petty, getting angry with my own brother. I... I don't know what to do!' He frowned and exhaled a puff of smoke: 'Sometimes I envy you so much, having all of Xiao Xin's love.'" "If it were you, I'd love her with my whole life, even if it meant bearing the stigma of incest. After all, she's such a rare woman!" Seeing my face flush and pale, he quickly explained, "I was just saying. How could I be you? And how could you love your own sister?" I thought he had guessed the unusual feelings between me and my sister, and my heart skipped a beat. Luckily, he was just making things up, so I couldn't help but laugh and say, "It's okay! Maybe you haven't tried hard enough. If you put in more effort, even a stone can be moved!" "Yes! That would be best, but I always feel that you are my greatest rival. With you in the world, Xiao Xin can't possibly love me. Should I kill you... haha... kill you... hahaha..." Seeing that I didn't laugh, he could only laugh self-deprecatingly. I didn't know how to answer, so I could only give him a bitter smile. The atmosphere suddenly became awkward. Realizing his slip of the tongue, he quickly stood up and apologized: "I'm sorry! I misspoke! I was just so jealous of you. Your sister dotes on you so much; you must treat her well in the future. She's not young anymore; how much of her youth can she afford to waste?" He gave me a meaningful look and left. Those thirteen words, "She's not young anymore; how much of her youth can she afford to waste?" were like a boulder thrown into a still lake, creating ripples that lingered and deepened over time. I knew he meant I shouldn't hold onto my sister's affections for too long, leaving room for other men to pursue her. But I suddenly remembered that my sister was approaching thirty; how much time did she have left to waste with me? She could live for me; why couldn't I live for him? Her waiting undoubtedly showed that she had already given up everything. No matter how big the storm! With my sister by my side, I had no regrets in this life. At that moment, I finally made up my mind.

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