[Childhood Ordination]

Chapter 1
I don't know how I came to be in this family. When I was just old enough to understand adults, the neighbors told
me I was adopted, and other children thought so too, their parents had told
them. So, I also assumed I was adopted.
I had a good time in this family for a while, I can't say exactly how many years, but I can remember about a
year or two. At that time, my mother doted on me, and my five older sisters doted on me too. They doted on me because I had a penis,
while my sisters didn't. They all seemed to really like my little penis. When I took a bath, or
when I took off my pants at night, they would come over and tease it. Usually, my mother would tease it first, and then my sisters would join in
. They would gently flick it with their index fingers, laughing, very happy.
Usually, my mother would hold me to sleep, and when she did, she always liked to touch my testicles, which made me feel
safe and secure as I fell asleep.
At that time, I was always given the best food first, and I
never had to dress or undress myself. Back then, I rarely went to the bathroom at home. Whenever I needed to pee, I would
shout, and my mother would immediately order one of my older sisters to bring me a potty. When I took a bath
, I would always bathe with one of my two youngest sisters, to save water. But
I didn't understand why my older sisters wouldn't bathe with me. Actually, I didn't want to bathe with them! They had pubic hair, which I
'd seen before, and it wasn't pretty! My two older sisters didn't; it was just a smooth slit. I was curious, looking at theirs
and then at mine; my two older sisters did the same, looking at theirs and then at mine. One of my sisters, I don't remember
which one, especially liked to play with my penis for a while, which made me happy. But my penis was also happy, getting
erect and pointing at my sister. If
I needed to pee, I would stand in the bathtub and pee towards my sister, and she would giggle. Sometimes
she would stand up to pee too, but she didn't shoot as far as I did; it would just flow down her thighs. Occasionally, a small stream of urine would shoot out,
but it was very brief; most of it flowed down her thighs.
After we finished playing, Mom would come over and rub my body, always rubbing me first and then my older sister.
Dad rarely came home then, and I didn't know what he did for a living. Whenever Dad came home, I would
sleep with my sisters. Five sisters sleeping on one big kang (heated brick bed) was already crowded, and when I came up, they would start to push me away, as if
they didn't want to sleep with me. The reason they didn't want to sleep with me was because I often wet the bed. Another reason was that
I always liked to lie on top of them, because when Mom cuddled me to sleep, she often let me lie on her belly, especially in winter, when
Mom's belly was especially warm! My sisters wouldn't let me lie on top of them, and I didn't know why. But
one of my sisters seemed to know a little, because once when I lay on top of them, she laughed and said, "What do you know
? You're so small, yet you're lying on top of people?" As if she really knew! The other sisters laughed when they heard this.
However, after much pushing and shoving, they would only settle down under my mother's command, and I could
then freely crawl into the blankets of any two of my older sisters (back then we were poor; two older sisters shared one blanket, and three younger sisters shared one
blanket, one at one end and two at the other). One of my sisters and I would lie down at the other end, and the four of us would start kicking
and thrashing about until we finally fell asleep. But at that age, even if I took
advantage of them in bed—for example, kicking one of my sisters' private parts—it was just a feeling of tenderness.
Later, my mother "picked up" a younger brother. From the moment she brought him home, my life changed.
I could feel it, even though I was only five or six years old at the time. I could sense it from my mother's smile;
she smiled at me less and less, didn't try to make me laugh, and rarely hugged me. My sisters, on the other hand, didn't
change much at first. "Smack—" I woke up in the morning still half asleep when I received a slap on the bottom: "What?
You wet the bed again???" This was the first time my mother had ever hit me. I had wet the bed before, but she had never hit me then. I cried, and
my mother scolded me even more harshly: "Don't cry! If you cry, I'll throw you back into the street!!!" "Smack—smack—
smack—" The second time, I received three slaps in a row. "Wet the bed again, wet the bed again! I'll teach you to be lazy!!" My mother ignored
my cries and, not content with just spanking me, turned around and pinched the flesh on my inner thigh: "Will you wet the bed again
??" I screamed in pain, but my mother still wouldn't let go. "Mom, Mom, no, I won't do it again!" "If you wet
the bed again, I'll tear this bastard off!" My mother released the flesh on my thigh and threatened me by pinching my penis.
Ever since my younger brother came to this house, I've lost my priority when it comes to bathing. He always bathes first, and then I wash
myself with the water that was used to wash him.
Mom no longer patiently scrubbed my body; she always made me wash myself. If I wasn't clean enough, she'd come over,
pull me out of the tub, and slap my bottom: "Clean? Clean? Look? Look?"
She practically twisted my arm to rub off the dirt, scolding me. I pouted, afraid to cry, because
crying would only bring more severe scolding or slaps. A slap was much better than a pinch on the thigh; I dreaded having my
thigh pinched. "I brought you home for this piece of junk!!" Mom said, grabbing my penis.
Mom no longer teased me with her playful touches of my penis; it had fallen out of favor.
Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through my penis, and I instinctively arched back. "Stand up straight!" Mom
slapped my bottom again, forcing me to straighten up. Then, Mom once again cruelly pulled back the foreskin!
"Ouch—!" I cried out in pain.
Having my mother bathe me has gone from a pleasure to torture. I've started to dread her scrubbing my body,
but the more I fear it, the more she insists on doing it. She always gives my penis special attention, but not like before
, with a playful, ambiguous touch. That used to make me so proud! Now, she uses her hands for
special "care." "Why aren't you crying out in pain anymore?" After being tortured like that by my mother a couple of times, my penis
doesn't hurt as much anymore, unless she completely retracts the foreskin. When my mother pinches and strokes the foreskin, asking me lewdly
, I feel a strange pleasure, a pleasure I can't show. I dare not show it.
I stood there, letting Mom do whatever
she wanted. As long as she didn't completely pull back the foreskin, I could accept it, but I didn't know why she did it. Mom seemed to enjoy seeing my glans exposed
, but not really. If she liked something, she would kiss it. Mom's movements
were rough; sometimes she would suddenly pull the foreskin all the way back, deliberately watching me struggle in pain. Only then
would a barely perceptible hint of smugness appear on her face.
I dared not tell anyone, not even my best sister. I had no
say in the family anymore. On the contrary, I was constantly scolded and slapped by Mom! "Stealing your brother's cookies again
??? *smack*" Mom changed from spanking to hitting my head. "No…" I protested, feeling wronged. "Still arguing?
*smack*" Another slap. "Did you steal it?" "Yes." To avoid being hit, I had to admit it, but I
didn't dare. "You greedy bastard! You greedy bastard!!!" Mom pressed me down on the stool and started beating me hard.
After that, being beaten became a daily occurrence. "Put your brother in the potty, didn't you hear him crying??"
Mom scolded. I quickly got up to find the potty, but it was too late. Mom's foot had already kicked me, sending me flying
under the dining table. My head hit the table leg, and I couldn't get up for a moment. "I told you to do some work, and you just dawdle! I
told you to dawdle! I told you to dawdle!!" Mom came over and slammed my head hard against the table leg. I immediately felt dizzy and
fainted to the ground... At night, Mom would sleep with my brother in her arms, and I would often wake up from the cold: Mom would pull the blanket
away, leaving only a little bit of me exposed, not even half of my body covered.
What frightened and puzzled me even more was that sometimes before going to sleep, Mom would reach out and play with my penis.
She would play with it for a long time, sometimes bringing me to an uncontrollable state two or three times a night. At first it was alright, but
as the play went on, my penis became very dry, and my mother's hands were very heavy, causing me excruciating pain. But my mother still wouldn't stop
, continuing until my body trembled and I struggled.
During the day, I continued to be beaten and scolded. My sisters didn't dare sympathize with me either. My eldest sister was completely on my mother's side;
whenever my mother was angry, she would take it out on me. Gradually, not only my mother, but my eldest sister also started to physically abuse me
. My other three sisters didn't treat me well either; only my youngest sister showed me any sympathy. "Run away," my little
sister Fangfang whispered to me one day on the street.
I thought about running away, but I didn't know where to go.
I was afraid to go home, yet I couldn't stay away. Going home meant being beaten and scolded. But staying outside for too long meant the same—
going home meant being beaten and scolded.
When I was just nine years old, my penis had been tortured by my mother to the point of being unrecognizable: the glans was completely exposed
, looking terrible. I dared not urinate in front of my friends, afraid they would laugh at me.
One day, I was urinating in our outhouse when my older sister came in and saw me. She whispered, "What's wrong?" I
was too embarrassed to let her see and didn't dare to say anything. Just then, my mother came in and saw me pulling up my pants in front of my sister.
"You little rascal!" My mother grabbed my ear, dragged me out of the outhouse, threw me onto the bedroom floor, closed the door, and started punching
and kicking me: "You're already acting like a rascal at such a young age! Shameless! Shameless!!" She kicked me after every curse! "Get
me some scissors! I'm going to cut it off for you!" I was so scared that I clung to my mother's leg, begging for mercy. My mother kicked me away,
found some scissors, and I knelt on the ground in terror: "Mommy, Mommy, I won't do it again! I'll never do it again!!" My mother
still wouldn't give up. She pulled down my pants and threatened, "I'm going to cut it off for you!" I covered my face with my hands,
begging desperately, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy... I... I won't... I won't do it again. I won't do it again!! Mommy,
Mommy, I beg you, I beg you!" "Take your hands off! If you do it again, I'll kill you!!!" My mother gritted her
teeth, brandishing the scissors at me, threatening me.
I was so scared that I didn't dare to make a sound. I had never seen my mother's face so ferocious; her eyes were distorted! Her mouth
was distorted too! "Cut it yourself, or you'll get my hands dirty!" My mother threw the scissors in front of me and ordered,
"Hurry up!" I picked up the scissors from the ground, trembling, and looked at my mother like a mouse looking at a cat. "Scissors!"
Mom commanded. Seeing I didn't move, she grabbed my hand holding the scissors with both hands: "Scissors!!! Scissors!!"
She pressed down hard, and the scissors suddenly veered off course and pierced my thigh... "Ah—" I screamed in agony,
then died from the pain! Mom saw the blood and finally stopped.
My thigh ached for over a month, as if the scissors had hit the bone, and I walked with a limp. But I still had
to listen for Mom's calls at all times. Whenever she called, I had to be there immediately, otherwise, it wasn't
just my bottom that suffered; my head and every part of my body would be hurt. Mom no longer cared where she hit me,
as long as she hit me. And I had to let her hit me. If she missed, even if it wasn't my fault, the second
hit would be much harder than I imagined!
My sisters weren't as ruthless as Mom, but they would habitually hit me. If I resisted,
it wasn't a warning, but a cruel blow. "Beat him to death, teach him to talk back!" Mom instigated from the side
. The older sister, having received the order, acted as if not hitting him would be disobeying a royal decree. "Slap—" A slap landed
, perfectly aimed, so precise, so effective! My face
immediately stung.
My anger burned brighter each day. I glared at my sister, thinking: Hit me!
Hit me hard! See if I'll beg for mercy! As long as you don't kill me, one day… The reasons for being beaten no longer
needed to be stated beforehand; as long as they felt it was justified, as long as they felt it would vent their anger, or sometimes it
was just for a moment of pleasure. "Come here." That day, the older sister was home alone watching over her younger brother. She ordered me
to the inner room! "Take off your pants!" she continued to command. I refused! When Mom hit me, I felt I deserved it,
even though I felt wronged. But I wouldn't accept it when my sister hit me! "Will you take them off or not?" Her eyes widened! At that moment, my
sister sat on the kang (a heated brick bed), and I saw a pair of scissors beside her, and her hand was moving towards them.
My heart immediately trembled! My body trembled too! "Should I take it off or not?" She already had the scissors in her hand
.
I had no choice but to obey; to prevent her from cutting off my manhood, I had to obey.
My older sister stared at my lower body.
Although I was still scared, at that age, my penis would involuntarily become erect whenever I was naked.
Fortunately, she didn't do anything; she just stared for a while and then said, "Get out!" That day,
two cookies were missing from my younger brother's biscuits again, and I saw that my older sister had stolen them. My mother called me over to scold me again, and I had already been slapped
once. Just as the second slap was about to land, I finally blurted out, "My older sister ate them, I didn't eat them." My
older sister, who was standing nearby, heard this and rushed over: "You dare to lie! *slap*—" I dodged my mother's second slap
but not my older sister's. "It was you! I saw it!" I argued. "I told you not to lie!" My older sister
kicked me to the ground, then kicked me again: "I told you not to lie!" "If it wasn't my older sister, it was him!" My second older sister
chimed in, suddenly rushing over and kicking me too! "You'll blame me again later! You little liar!" My third sister, seeing they
were gaining the upper hand, acted as if she wouldn't be a sister if she didn't come to their aid. "Little liar!" she kicked again!
I finally snapped!
I struggled to my feet, grabbing my eldest sister: "It wasn't me! It wasn't me!" "Kill him!" Mom shouted
. This was the most terrifying thing. If Mom hadn't spoken, my sisters wouldn't have gone all out, but as soon as she did, the three of them
started beating me mercilessly. The more I resisted, the more ferocious they became! "Bastard!" "Get out of our house!"
"You're not allowed to call me Mom, she's not your mom!" "You heard me! Bastard!" Their mother had already closed
the bedroom door. My three sisters, still in the prime of their youth, suddenly became shameless. They stripped me naked
and took turns grabbing my genitals.
After they finished beating me, afraid I would run away, they tied me up and locked me in the storage room for two days...
The least I was beaten was that winter in fourth grade.
My father hadn't been home for a long time. The school was holding daily "Criticize Lin Biao and Confucius" rallies. That day at the rally
, I saw my father standing on the stage, head bowed, a large sign hanging around his neck.
The atmosphere at home was incredibly tense during those days; no one dared to speak loudly even at mealtimes. Every night, I would
go with my older sister to the school warehouse to deliver food to my father. She probably took me along because she was afraid; after all, I
was a boy, and in her eyes, even more so. Although I was unwilling, I went with her to
avoid being beaten. Especially on the dark road, I noticed my older sister walked very carefully.
Each time, I would wait outside while my older sister was allowed to go into the warehouse alone to deliver food to my father, and each time it
took a long time. That day, when we returned from delivering food, she wouldn't go inside. Suddenly, she told me to touch her crotch.
At that moment, although I disliked her, I began to feel interested in girls' vaginas. Her request was so sudden
and strange, and given how unkind she usually was to me, I was afraid she had a trick up her sleeve. If she told my mother, I was
doomed. So I didn't act immediately. "Listen to me, and I won't hit you anymore. Otherwise, you'll see!"
she threatened.
I had no choice but to obey. She loosened her waistband, letting me put my hand inside.
I first touched her pubic hair, then she spread her legs a little, indicating I should touch downwards. I felt it; it was wet,
like it was wet. Suddenly, she pulled me closer and reached into my crotch, touching my penis
. She was panting as she touched it.
Suddenly, the door opened, and my mother came out. My older sister quickly pushed me aside and ran into the house.
In the darkness, I felt the threat approaching.
My mother didn't make a sound, grabbing my ear and dragging me home. I didn't dare make a sound, even though it hurt.
My mother pulled me directly onto the kang (heated brick bed), still silent, as she took off her pants.
Suddenly, in the darkness, I felt my head being pressed down, and a strong, pungent stench assaulted my nostrils. Before I could
react, my mouth was forced between my mother's thighs: "Lick!" she commanded.
Forget about sticking out my tongue; the mere smell made me nauseous!
I didn't lick, but my head seemed to be trapped between her legs, my mouth still pressed against her vulva. Her
buttocks twisted and turned, tormenting me for a long time… Suddenly, she pulled me onto her and pulled down my pants
.
I didn't know what she was doing; my mother was breathing heavily! The atmosphere terrified me, but I dared not resist. My mother
's hands were playing with my genitals. That day, for some reason, no matter how she played with them, I couldn't get an erection like before.
After a long struggle, she pushed me off: "Get out!" It was probably the night before New Year's Eve. In the middle of the night, someone got on the kang ( heated brick bed).
I woke up and heard my father come home, whispering with my mother. I don't know what they were saying,
but my mother got off the kang quietly, then quietly came back. It wasn't just one person; two people got on the kang.
One of them was my older sister. I could hear her calling for my father, though she also whispered. She quietly lay down, and after a
while, my father started breathing heavily. My sister remained silent, but even just my father's heavy breathing made
the atmosphere on the kang very tense!
A short while later, my father got up, put on his clothes, and quietly left home.
My sister didn't get off the kang. My mother saw my father off, closed the front door, came back, got on the kang, and talked to my sister for a while.
She seemed to mention me: "If he hears this, kill him!" I was immediately terrified and didn't dare sleep for a long time. Only after they fell asleep
, knowing that I wouldn't be killed at least that night, did I finally fall asleep.
The next day, I went to deliver food to my father again. On the way, my eldest sister asked me if I knew my father had come home that evening, and I said I did.
She said, "If you dare tell anyone, I'll strangle you and throw you in the well!" I didn't know if she was referring to my father's return or to
her relationship with him; both were fatal at the time!
That year's fourteenth day of the first lunar month was a day I'll never forget!
Because I had gone out to play a little longer and missed dinner, they asked me where I had been. I said I was on the street
. They punished me for embarrassing them by going out in tattered clothes during the New Year. "Come
back for dinner, or you'll eat shit!" My eldest sister dragged me to the outhouse and tried to force my head into the latrine. I resisted
, but she couldn't subdue me alone, so she called my second and third sisters.
The three of them forced my head into the latrine… I don't know which sister brought a bucket of dirty water and poured it over
my head. I felt they were really trying to kill me, and I struggled desperately, but they forced my head down again.
I slammed into the edge of the latrine.
I was furious! I screamed desperately, but they grabbed my throat. I struggled for a while and then died
… In my hazy state, I heard my mother say, “What if he really dies? Just kill him…” I didn’t hear
them speak for a long time. I stood up, my body felt light, and I felt I could still walk. My feet felt light, as if I were walking on
clouds. I felt I could still get out of this house—no, this den of demons! I quietly opened the door. When I rushed out,
one of the older girls saw me, but at that moment, I felt as if I had suddenly gained infinite strength. I didn’t run through the front door;
I knew it was usually closed. I took a few steps onto the woodpile and jumped over the wall!
I did it! My heart was filled with immense joy, and this immense joy gave me infinite strength!
I ran and ran! I don't know how far I ran, until I had no strength left...
Chapter Two:
The Seeds of Hatred Night had quietly fallen. It was a chilly mid-spring evening. Sitting
on the sofa in the first-floor living room, I still felt a bit cold. I couldn't help but shiver, though very lightly, but
Fan Ying, sitting diagonally opposite me, noticed. She got up and went to the bedroom to get a blanket and covered my legs.
I picked up the water glass in front of me and gulped down the almost cold tea. My vision blurred, not only because
the night had entered the room, but also because of the tears in my eyes.
I lit another cigarette, took a few puffs, and suppressed the rising resentment in my heart. I can't
cry in front of a woman! Women don't believe in men's tears; I've known this since I was ten.
Fan Ying got up. She didn't turn on the light; we could still see each other's faces clearly. She refilled my
teacup, then silently sat back down, gazing at me with deep affection.
I couldn't look her in the eye. I noticed she would sometimes wipe away tears as she listened to me.
For so many years, I had never told anyone about my unfortunate experiences. Now that I had, I felt
a pang of regret, a sense of timidity, and a feeling of being stripped bare. "Talking about these things... will pollute your soul..."
I picked up my teacup, warming it in my hands. My heart was still trembling slightly... "It's okay, I studied psychology, I have
that kind of immunity." Fan Ying's voice was always gentle yet playful. "Sometimes... I unconsciously
... use foul language... don't mind it." "No, you've been very careful, you haven't used any really dirty words." Fan
Ying pursed her lips, wanting to laugh but feeling it was inappropriate. Actually, I didn't care. Let her laugh if she wants. It doesn't matter
, so many years have passed. "Really dirty? Like: 'cunt'?" I teased. "Ugh!" Fan Ying
finally covered her mouth and laughed. I think this is better. I don't want to project this pure and innocent
girl, twenty-five years my junior, into the role. She's from a different generation; by age, she should be calling me "Dad." I don't
want her to suffer because of my pain. But I'm not sure if I can still do that. "So, can you
tell me what magic turned three young women into a mob in an instant?" "Imprisonment, the
imprisonment of proof!"... I pondered these words repeatedly in my mind. I didn't quite understand. Fan Ying studied humanities. Was it
merely the imprisonment of proof at that time? How could such innocent young women become so shameless?
Seeing that I didn't continue, Fan Ying kept smoking and encouraged me, "You ran away? What happened next?"
It seemed she wasn't disgusted and wanted to hear more. Perhaps she subconsciously harbored incestuous feelings;
if so, it must have been inherited from her grandfather!
I had "developed" Fan Ying when she was twelve, and afterwards, I enjoyed her for two years with a heart full of revenge! But
to my surprise, she didn't hate me. On the contrary, she gradually fell in love with me, especially after we went to university. She
kept pestering me, and I could see that it wasn't just because I satisfied her materially. She was
n't the kind of girl who craved pleasure; she had love in her heart, and I could feel it. However, I always
refused to sleep with her, using reasons like "giving you freedom" and "I'm not right for you." But the main reason in my heart was that I didn't like adult girls
' vaginas!
But Fan Ying still fell in love with me without hesitation, and she was very gentle and kind, unlike her mother
! So, when I told her about my tragic experiences, I constantly asked myself: I must not
transfer my resentment to her. In fact, I just couldn't bring myself to hate this beautiful and kind girl.
After starting university, she became more sensible and cheerful! Although I refused to sleep with her, she never made a fuss. She always
said: "I'll marry you after graduation!" "If only I could really escape..." My thoughts returned to thirty years ago.
"You mean... you were caught again..." "You didn't even escape!" A foul-smelling urine spurted up my throat
. I felt my head still being held in place. I opened my eyes, still blurry. Then another stream of urine
sprayed onto my face. I tried to struggle but was too weak, so I gave up.
I don't know how much time had passed, but their torture was clearly still going on, because I hadn't died!
I realized that the scene of me jumping out of the firewood pile, running to the train station, and climbing onto the train was just
a hallucination, perhaps a dream I had while I was unconscious...—this filled me with immense disappointment!
I heard laughter, mocking laughter, triumphant laughter. "Ling, come here!" I heard someone speak,
calling my second sister's name. Then my vision brightened for a moment, then dimmed again. I
opened my eyes when the urine stopped hitting my face.
I saw two hairy, fleshy mounds split open, pointing directly at me! The gaping labia, which
should have revealed the beauty of a young girl's sensuality, now resembled a gaping, man-eating mouth! All beauty was gone, replaced only
by filth and grotesque ugliness!
I truly couldn't understand why my second sister, who never dared utter the word "cunt" except when hitting me,
would now display her cunt before my eyes! (Fan Ying heard me utter the swear word, but this time she couldn't laugh.) It seems
they no longer consider me human. They haven't considered me human for a long time! I'm a beast! An
angel who once brought them and their mother joy for several years has become a beast, worse than a puppy or a kitten
! —There's no other explanation for their shamelessness!
The shamelessness of young girls is more destructive than that of their mothers! —Destruction of beauty! Even
destruction of sexuality!
The obscene stream of urine hadn't even flowed out immediately, as if my open eyes had made her melancholy. Perhaps, in
that instant, my second sister had a fleeting image of the proper posture a 14-year-old girl should have when squatting, but
it was ruined by my open eyes?! "Pee!" someone encouraged. "Pinch his nose!"
someone taunted.
I closed my eyes in humiliation, and moments later, hot, foul-smelling water poured into my mouth and splashed onto my face.
I had to swallow my second sister's urine. At the same time, I swallowed the humiliation of my childhood.
Next, needless to say, was my third sister. My third sister usually stepped forward when it was her turn after her two older sisters had done it
(now she was squatting). But, was it to show that she was in cahoots with them, to
show her loyalty to her two wicked older sisters, that she would open her thirteen-year-old virginity above her brother's eyes?
When my third sister squatted down, she unfurled a flower in front of me. Even a chestnut flower
is beautiful in its bloom.
(Fan Ying couldn't help but laugh again, covering her mouth as she laughed.) I mean, at least it didn't look so disgusting, so outrageous!
To put it another way, even if she peed all over my face, I could barely accept it, but she didn't pee.
I thought it should be over by now! Because they were laughing wildly! What an outrageous release! This
is what you call the sisters who are usually restrained by the atmosphere of the moment, who don't even dare to show their breasts,
who don't even understand the physiological structure of their own vaginas, who are ashamed to grow pubic hair, who are
terrified when they have their first period!
Now they are finally liberated! When they open their vulvas, what they expose are their ugly
souls!
There seems to be another one! Their mother. Please don't come, I prayed in my heart, I would rather call the two older
sisters.
I didn't want to open my eyes again, I could only wait, but there was no movement for a long time. "Have you had enough, you little bastard
?" the eldest sister asked. "Whose is better? You little bastard?" the second sister mocked. "Hahaha..." the three
sisters laughed triumphantly.
It seems their mother is gone—I'm already grateful to them.
Another burst of laughter. Then, they've had their fill of playing, or perhaps they're tired. I can finally lift my head.
My body is wet, even my crotch is wet. I'm locked in the dark storage room again! "Unthinkable
! Too unimaginable! Pervert! One mother's perversion led a group of children to perversion!" Fan Ying
said indignantly. "Yes! In that seemingly asexual era, there could actually be such a grotesque perversion!"
I drank a cup of tea. Fan Ying sat down and gently wiped my face, though there were no tears at all. "Don't talk about it.
It's all in the past! Things will be better in the future," Fan Ying comforted me. "It's over?? -- No! There's something even more shameless!"
"Really? Then just say it, say it, don't keep it inside, just let it out. It's okay, I
can endure it." I was locked in a dark storage room for three days. In those three days, I cried all the tears I had in my life!
I was terrified! I was hungry! I was angry! I felt wronged! Back in elementary school, we often recalled the bitter past to appreciate the sweet present, and I thought to myself:
Huang Shiren wasn't this bad, was he? Zhou Bapi wasn't this bad, was he? Mou Erheizi wasn't this bad, was he? Liu Wencai
wasn't this bad, was he? But this is a new society, a new society led by the **, why am I still suffering like this?
Who will save me? I felt I was going to die in this dark place, I couldn't get out! They didn't
lock me up for this long last time! They must be trying to suffocate me! To starve me to death! Mom, I'll be good from now on, please let me out
, give me something to eat!
God! Let me grow up! Give me strength! Why isn't Dad coming back? "Dad has never hit
me! Dad, come save me! Why isn't my older sister coming? I've never made you angry, you're not
like them! I won't kill you if I get out!"
In the end, I had no anger left, only despair! The despair of dying!
Suddenly someone pulled me, and I woke up from my unconsciousness. Something was stuffed into my hand, but I didn't have the strength
to hold it. When I put it in my hand again, my heart, which was about to stop beating at any moment, seemed to flash a glimmer of light,
perhaps the hope of life: food!
So, that hand finally rose, and then the door was closed again.
It was food. I took a bite and ate it with difficulty.
When I was let out, they saw me curled up on the ground like a scoundrel, no longer worthy of their ridicule
. Besides, I didn't have the strength to run anymore. "He won't die! He's faking it! You little bastard!" the older sister said, and
no one else said anything.
After I was released, they never allowed me to eat at the same table with them again.
They always ate first, and I would eat what they left over. —Compared to being locked in the dark storage room, this was already a blessing
!
From then on, I became my eldest sister's servant; she could order me around whenever she wanted. Actually, my younger brother was even more domineering than my eldest sister
—he was a little tyrant! In the middle of the night, when my brother needed to pee, my mother would kick me awake: "
Go get the chamber pot!" Sometimes I didn't even dare to put on my clothes before jumping off the bed to get the chamber pot. If it were just about getting the chamber pot for my brother
, that wouldn't be so bad; when I was little, my sisters also got to get theirs. But what I couldn't stand the most was that after my brother finished peeing,
my mother would often pee too.
My mother didn't pee elegantly like my sisters, squatting or straddling the chamber pot. She would half-squat
, bending over, leaning forward, and presenting her large buttocks to me. I had to hold the pot with both hands and bring it to her.
Then, like a broken faucet suddenly turned on full blast, the water gushed out, and a strong, pungent odor immediately filled
the entire room… When my mother no longer saw me as her son (actually, she had long since), she
no longer needed to maintain a motherly demeanor in front of me. Often, when she was doing chores on the kang (heated brick bed) and called me to
help, her ugly, dark genitals, the same color as her pubic hair and labia, were displayed before me
without any attempt at modesty.
And this ugly genital would often have foul-smelling bloodstains on the mattress. I've seen it several times…
Back then, in the morning, she was lying there covering the bloodstains on the mattress with toothpaste. After that, Mom instructed me to
cover them up. I would apply toothpaste to the bloodstains and spread it evenly until it was completely covered and the red color was no longer visible.
My older sister probably inherited Mom's worst genes. Whatever Mom could tell me to do, my older sister could tell
me to do! "Come here!" my older sister commanded.
I went to her room; I dared not enter their room without orders. "Take that out!"
she gestured with her eyes towards the bloodstained paper on the floor.
I picked it up, intending to throw it in the outhouse. "Where to throw it? *Slap*—" my older sister slapped me:
"Take it out!" I had no choice but to take it and walk out. *Slap*—another slap. I glared at her! Ever since
I was released from the storage room that time, I stopped crying and screaming. No matter who hit me, I couldn't cry. "Who told
you to take it out like that?! Damn it!" my older sister snatched it away and slapped it on my mouth a few times! "If you
don't remember this, I'll make you eat it next time!" I felt a strange taste in my mouth and wiped it with my sleeve.
Actually, she didn't necessarily want me thrown outside; she just wanted to torment me, she found it pleasurable.
I was almost afraid to be home alone with her; whenever no one was around, she would find ways to torment me. At that time, even
the youngest sister knew how to be ashamed, but she seemed to never know shame.
Suddenly, she ripped down my pants: "Stand still!" I stood against the wall, and she came over and grabbed
my penis, playing with it for a while.
To be honest, I was tired of being beaten, tired of being scolded, and tired of being molested
. I was used to being humiliated by having my pants pulled down. Besides, my penis was getting bigger every year. When they molested me
, I would also feel a strong desire. "You slut! You still dare to fuck me?!" In my eyes, the eldest sister's shamelessness
had reached its peak! That day, she was playing with my penis. Just as I was about to climax, my buttocks instinctively
arched towards her; the movement was completely beyond my control. "Fuck! Fuck!!"
The older woman forcefully pulled her foreskin back to the base, the glans being pulled taut by the ligaments, almost torn apart
! The pain was so intense I couldn't straighten up! When she released me, I raised my foot to kick her. "You dare!!! You little bastard,
you dare kick me??? I'll cut your lousy thing off!" she threatened.
Hearing this, I didn't kick her. I was genuinely afraid of her! Afraid she'd grab the scissors!
Damn it! If I dared, I would never fuck you and your mother! Let your father fuck you!
At that age, I already knew things that other kids my age didn't know, things I shouldn't know!
I knew her father fucked her every time he came home! But I didn't know if her father should fuck her! What's even worse
is that she thought she had completely controlled me, so she didn't care that I knew, and she felt no shame!
She even let her father have sex with her on the kang (a heated brick bed) in broad daylight. That year, because her father was still labeled a landlord, rich peasant, counter-revolutionary, bad element, or rightist (
I don't know exactly which category), he had to behave well outside, often sweeping the streets and cleaning public toilets. But
whenever he had a spare moment, he would sneak home. If my older sister was home, he would send everyone else away, leaving only me
to keep watch outside the gate.
After he finished with her, her father would leave immediately. As soon as I saw her father come out, I knew it was over, and I had to go
in. One time, I went in and my older sister was still on the kang. I heard her call me, so I went to the inner room. "Go wash
up!" She threw her underwear at me from the kang. I caught it, and it was sticky in my hand. "Bring me a basin of water first,"
she ordered.
I poured her water, which had to be lukewarm, and brought it to the kang. "Get out of here!" She
wasn't gentle at all, having just been fucked.
I came out, but didn't dare go far, standing outside waiting for her instructions. I heard her hands rubbing her own vulva, making a "squelching
" sound. Then, I used the water she had used to wash her vulva to wash her underwear.
That day, her father came back, and her mother took her older sisters out. They hadn't deliberately gone out that day; it seemed
they had gone to buy grain. "Go to the door and coax your little brother, watch over him!" she commanded.
I took my little brother to play outside the gate. How could my little brother listen to me? He wanted to go home. I coaxed and coaxed him until
the first two times, but the third time she insisted on going inside, crying, cursing, and hitting me. I didn't dare provoke her,
so I had to let her be. But I didn't dare go in; I knew what they were doing.
A little while later, my eldest sister rushed out in a rage and dragged me home. This time, this vicious sister attacked me
deadly: she knew what was important for boys, and she kicked me squarely in the groin!
I fainted on the spot… In my memory, this was the first time my mother took me to the hospital. Because my groin was swollen
like a round eggplant.
I heard my mother scolding my older sister behind my back, complaining that she was too cruel! Because whether it's children fighting or adults
fighting, no one would kick a man's groin hard; if you did, you'd be considered the most vicious person! My mother even
said that if you hurt him, he'd hold a grudge against you for life!
But this hatred was already firmly etched in my heart! Since she wanted to ruin me, fine, one day…
…From then on, I stopped obeying her. Whenever she called me, I would glare at her angrily, showing my defiance! My
strength gradually increased, and I thought, if you hit me again, I'll risk my life! In
the last moments before you strangle me, I'll bite your breasts off! I'll kick your cunt to pieces! You don't believe me?
Just try!
My older sister was indeed afraid, or more accurately, afraid of her mother's words! I'll grow up one day,
you just wait! If I were to tell anyone about her misdeeds, she'd never be able to get married again. Who would want such a vicious
woman?
The sun won't rise in the west! But that day, my older sister suddenly changed!
I was urinating in the outhouse when she came in—actually, she saw me enter. I didn't know what she was up to this time
, so I kept glancing at her warily while urinating, wary of her. By then, I wasn't afraid of her anymore!
What could she do to me?
Strangely, she didn't do anything to me. She just watched me urinate, deliberately watching me. "Go ahead and look!
I'm not afraid! I don't expect you to be ashamed!" I even defiantly showed her: "Look! It's hard again! You think you can get rid of me? No way
!"
I never expected it, I never would have guessed! My older sister smiled—it was the first time she'd ever smiled at me!
Afterwards, I heard her tell Mom, "It's not broken." So that's what happened! She was finally scared! Haha!
She wanted to see if I'd hurt it!
Yes! You're scared! Because I'm almost a man! Twelve years old! I can
grow up even eating your leftovers! No matter how you torture my penis, it's grown! It's even stronger! After enduring humiliation
, it's even more arrogant! Just you wait! You beasts!
That serious incident caused quite a stir in the family! After that, I noticed they didn't easily lay
a hand on me anymore, because they also realized I wasn't afraid of even my most vicious older sister, let alone them!
My father—or rather, their father—didn't hit me, but he didn't care when my sister and mother hit me .
At first, I wasn't hateful towards him, but I didn't love him either. But since the following incident happened, I've started to hate him too!
Fangfang is my youngest sister, a year older than me. She's my best friend. Of course, "good" just meant she didn't bother me
and I didn't bother her. Then there was that time I was locked in the storage room, and it was this older sister who brought me half a
steamed bun. I firmly believe that half a bun is what saved me from starving to death in the storage room!
Influenced by my sister and mother, in that kind of environment, how much could I expect her to treat me? I think she
's already done more than enough!
I swear in the name of a twelve-year-old boy: I will definitely repay you when I grow up!!!
Also, during the time I was pampered as a child, this older sister was the one who bathed with me the most.
To be honest, I saw her little pussy the most! Although it was just out of curiosity at the time, it was my
most primitive and purest impression of girls, and the most beautiful mark of my childhood that I yearn for as an adult!
It's a memory so deeply etched in my young heart that it will never fade!
At that age, in that era, in that family, older sister Fangfang was the most sacred
virgin in my heart! I hope to remain that pure forever. At that age, I couldn't be sure if my older sister would grow pubic
hair, or when. I hoped it would never grow!
If anyone bullied my older sisters outside, I wouldn't care; I'd be happy if someone taught them a lesson! But if
anyone bullied my older sister, I'd protect her with my life!
However, at home, I couldn't protect her!
That day, I heard my older sister crying in my mother's room. I thought she'd been bullied outside, and my anger was
burning. "What's wrong with your dad touching you?" I vaguely heard my mother comfort my older sister.
My older sister, Fangfang, said something I didn't hear clearly. "Where does it hurt?" my mother asked her, and my older sister replied again.
"It's okay, it'll be fine in a bit." Listening to this, it seemed as if my older sister and I had both become the victimized weaklings. I felt
the distance between my older sister and me growing closer. Then something happened that brought my older sister and me even closer
together.
That day, my older sister and her younger brother were arguing in the inner room, and the younger brother cried! I've mentioned before that this younger brother had become a
complete little tyrant, and had also become evil.
Mom asked why. The older sister said, "He made me drink his pee!" Listen to that! This little rascal
is already so bossy at such a young age.
Mom went to coax her younger brother, and with Mom's protection, he became even more determined: "I want her to drink it! I want
her to drink it! Daddy makes Mom drink it, so I'll make my sister drink it! I want it!" "Okay, okay, Mommy will drink it, okay? Come on
—Mommy loves Pengpeng's pee the most..." Several older sisters outside were laughing, but I didn't dare laugh; I was feeling sorry for the older
sister.
Gradually, I felt that the older sister Fangfang was also getting closer to me, protecting me. Once, I misplaced something, and
Mom loudly questioned who had put it there. The older sister Fangfang quickly said it was her.
During those days, their "supervision" of me was relatively relaxed; at night, I could sit at my front door and look
up at the stars! When I saw a shooting star, I made a wish—I wished I would grow up quickly! I wished I could be
as successful as Gorky, because his childhood was also unfortunate; I even wished (I don't care if people laugh) that I could marry a
wife like Fangfang, so kind and beautiful!
Suddenly, I felt a touch on my upper arm. I was startled and turned around to see Fangfang. She was giving me
something. I took it—it was a cake!
That was the second time I was moved. I thought I had cried all the tears I would ever cry in my life during those days locked in the storage room.
But taking the cake from Fangfang, my tears welled up again! My throat was choked, making it impossible for me to eat.
"Eat quickly! Don't let them see!" Fangfang said.
I ate the cake, mixed with my own tears. I hadn't eaten such a good cake in years
!
Fangfang sat down too, saying nothing, but I felt she wanted to say something to me—perhaps sympathy,
perhaps pity, perhaps comfort, perhaps encouragement! None of that mattered. What mattered was having a sister
sitting with me, making my still innocent and uncorrupted heart no longer lonely!
I had become very quiet by then; I sometimes went a whole day without uttering a single word. Partly,
I'd lost the ability to express myself properly due to their beatings and intimidation. Partly, no one spoke to me.
However, to them, this was also a threat! I'd overheard them talking about me behind my back, implying
that I was maturing! Even though I didn't understand what maturity truly meant. Was remembering hatred and knowing gratitude enough
? Was being able to think clearly enough? Was swallowing one's pride enough?
Or was maturity only when I looked down and suddenly discovered three hairs growing down my genitals while urinating
?
The things my older sister said when we sat at the gate watching the stars for the second time proved that I was increasingly
becoming a threat to them. "That time… I didn't pee in your mouth…" my older sister Fangfang said. Of course, I knew she wouldn't
. But my affection for Fangfang made me think to myself, "If you peed, I'd drink it."
Because in my eyes, even if Fangfang peed, it was the fountain of life! It was sacred water!
How I wish I could see Fangfang's pure and innocent little pussy again! "Is it really that good?"
Fan Ying smiled, pursing her lips. "I'm really touched by what you said!" "Ten years ago, you were just as innocent!" I
teased. "Go away! Back then... I was only eleven!" "Twelve, I think." "Not yet!
You bad guy! You almost killed me with pain!" "Was it that bad? I didn't see it. I remember you were even smiling."
"Go away! You're such a bad guy! A big pervert! A big pervert who preys on little girls!" Fan Ying leaned closer, gently
pinching my cheek, pressing her body tightly against mine, one of her thighs bent and draped over mine. Her pure fragrance was already
starting to tantalize my senses.
It seemed that while listening to my story, she felt not only sympathy but also a thrill. After all, everything I
said was related to sex, and that element also stimulated me. So, when her thighs came up to me, I
had a fleeting thought of touching her, even a fleeting thought of having sex with her, but it was just a fleeting thought. Even
that fleeting thought was out of gratitude for the little favor she had shown me when she was twelve, if that favor
hadn't been offset by my hatred for her mother... "Every pedophile has a special experience,
is that a reason to reject adult girls?" "Isn't that sufficient?" "But you haven't
tried with adult girls, how do you know you don't like them?" "Of course I've tried... but... I've never succeeded..." "Just don't look
. Hehe." "But I've seen them, once you've seen one, you know everything, so... just thinking about them,
mother and daughter... makes me nauseous." "You... in the end, you still don't love them. If you really loved them, you wouldn't be disgusted
!" "No! No! I have loved them!" "You're bad! You're bad! You have to tell me who she is, otherwise
tonight you have to..." Fan Ying punched my shoulder jealously, saying coquettishly. "What are you doing?" Fan
Ying brought her fragrant lips close to my ear: "Fuck me." Her words, which sounded crude and dirty, yet sweet and
intoxicating, once again transported me back thirty years to the night of my older sister Fangfang's thirteenth birthday, when
she made her first brave invitation in the same way...
Chapter Three:
Running Away Living in that era was tragic! Living in that era was also fortunate.
Tragic because we had no books to read; even ordinary novels were limited to a few revolutionary ones. Not to mention anything sexual,
even books about romance were banned.
Fortunately, we didn't understand! This lack of understanding only fueled our curiosity! As our physical development progressed, our
curiosity was driven to explore everything related to sex.
Because we didn't understand, once you learned even a little, you were first secretly thrilled, then
afraid—afraid you shouldn't know! For a
child like me, living in a family with five older sisters and a mother, the early development of my sexual interest might be understandable.
In this light, my childhood was unfortunate, even somewhat tragic. But I was also lucky, because I had a vagina
to watch, no matter how that organ appeared: intentional or unintentional; innocent or obscene.
And I knew that such "serious incidents" as fucking had indeed happened in my house!
Gradually, my curiosity turned into my anxiety.
I panicked whenever my father came home, even if sometimes he didn't come back to fuck. Once
everyone who was supposed to hide had gone out, and my older sister made me keep watch at the door, my heart would start pounding. I wanted to peek at
how they fucked, but I didn't dare go in, firstly because I was afraid that if someone really came, I wouldn't have kept an eye on them, and secondly because I was afraid they would find out.
But the more I thought about it, the more anxious I became, so I looked around, saw that no one was there, took out my penis and started masturbating... I carefully distinguished
every sound nearby, inside and outside the house. This way, my penis had to be constantly stimulated, otherwise it would
go soft if I was distracted. When the stimulation reached its best state, I would have a strong urge to fuck, fantasizing about the process in my mind: fucking inside,
squelching! And such thoughts were also gleaned from cursing words.
Just as that thought was urging me to reach the highest realm, someone suddenly appeared in front of me.
Fangfang, the young woman, always walked like a cat, almost silently. Her sudden appearance made me extremely embarrassed:
hiding was too late.
I forced a smile, and Fangfang's expression was strange; she showed neither disgust nor
surprise, but stared at my penis. At that moment, I both wanted her to see it and was afraid she would laugh at my ugliness. I wanted her
to see it because if she did, it would be the same as me having sex with her; I thought it was ugly compared to her vagina, which, in
my eyes, was incredibly beautiful and pure! "Where are you coming from?" I asked, trying to make conversation and ease the awkward
atmosphere, hiding it.
Fangfang finally gave a mysterious smile, not saying where she had gone, looking very unnatural. She glanced
into the distance, then looked back at me, her gaze falling on my crotch.
Suddenly, footsteps came from inside, and Fangfang quickly hid to the side. Sure enough, Dad came out.
I walked quite a distance before my older sister, Fangfang, reappeared before me. "What happened to you?"
Fangfang asked curiously. In my memory, Fangfang didn't seem to have seen my glans exposed.
I smiled sheepishly. I thought if she encouraged me a little more, I'd show it to her. I felt that
showing it to Fangfang and being molested by an older sister were two different things. Showing it to Fangfang felt exciting, being
molested by an older sister felt humiliating.
That year, Dad wasn't allowed to come home at night; he was either out working or in meetings. He always
sneaked back in the middle of the night, and when he did, he would inevitably do *that*!
Two years earlier, I wasn't interested in *that* thing, and I was also terrified by their harsh beatings and intimidation, even in my dreams I had to
be careful. Because I was accumulating resentment from my mother and sister every day, and I couldn't resist, I
often resisted in my dreams, sometimes shouting out, waking myself and my mother. Of course,
I always got kicked a couple of times then.
That night, I was woken up by someone calling me.
In my dream, I vaguely heard cries; I woke up, but there was no sound. Listening closely, I could hear heavy breathing.
The sound was lewd; it had been lewdly influencing me for a while now. I knew Dad was back.
I got excited! I felt good things were finally happening!
Sure enough, my older sister made a sound, faint, suppressed, but excited and joyful, from a whisper...
The laughter was joyful, the panting was excited, and the suppressed moans were energetic
… It was mid-spring, and the blankets were much lighter. I usually slept on the outside so
I could get up easily in the middle of the night. My mother slept on one side of the bed with my younger brother, about a
body's width away from us. So sometimes the sounds came from the other side, very indistinct. Sometimes they
came from somewhere nearby, clearer.
I boldly opened my eyes, and after a moment, I could make out the things on the bed.
A small leg was sticking out, moving, the foot was moving too, hooking and wiggling. The blanket was moving, rising and falling.
—All of this proved one thing: my older sister was being fucked! And it seemed she was being fucked quite hard, otherwise she wouldn't be
making sounds like she was being choked.
The blanket would sometimes rise and fall dramatically, and from those moments, not only the strong
scent of sex wafted out, but also the distinct sounds of water moving and occasional moans. This was probably
the source of the clearer sounds I heard… During the day, I only kept watch at the gate for about ten minutes. Now, more than ten minutes had passed since I woke up
, and they were still going on.
I was caught up in the atmosphere, masturbating incessantly. For the first time, I thought about having sex with Fangfang…
The phrase "bold and audacious" perfectly describes my actions that night. Normally, I was intimidated by them, and even when
they talked together, I didn't dare listen. But that night, I was bold. Seeing how
seriously they were doing it, sometimes quite intensely, I figured they wouldn't notice I was awake. So I gently lifted a corner of the blanket—
a corner that had already been kicked open by Fangfang's legs.
Immediately, the sounds became clearer, and the smells even more obscene. I didn't dare lift my arm too much, only seeing my thighs
. From that part, I could tell my father was on top of my sister. The sounds of water grew clearer, like
the sounds of organs rubbing together, sometimes rapid, sometimes even.
I dared not breathe, my penis going limp with tension.
Another half hour passed, then silence, followed by the sound of dressing. When a tall shadow appeared on the kang (heated brick bed),
I closed my eyes, waiting for them to get off.
The door opened softly, and I opened my eyes, suddenly realizing that the person following my father wasn't my eldest sister! It was
my second sister, Ling!
I couldn't continue; my mouth was covered by a wet little mouth, her intense breath hitting my face
.
Fan Ying was clearly aroused by this incestuous story: she clung to me, first half her body, then her whole body
, straddling my thighs.
I pushed her away, she climbed on again, I pushed her away once more. But this little bitch was in heat, ignoring my resistance,
panting heavily, she clung to me again.
Suddenly, I heard a cry: "Daddy, fuck me!" Although I could be her father,
Fan Ying had never called me "Daddy." When I repeatedly refused to sleep with her, she would say things like, "Just
raise me like your daughter, I can't live without you anyway."
But I wasn't used to her actually calling me "Daddy"!
It seemed I couldn't escape today. Fan Ying's demands were so intense, almost like she was crazy. Her
breasts, perhaps stimulated by drinking her mother's urine, looked like they were about to burst from her clothes… I don't know where she
got the strength, but she forcefully pushed me onto the sofa. "I was raped by you when I was eleven, today I'm going to rape you…"
Seeing that I seemed to be under her control, she smugly laughed and started to untie my belt.
Just as she pulled out my penis, a scene from thirty years ago flashed through my mind. Her
mother had molested me in the same way back then. That humiliation caused immense damage to my young mind, to the point that
I became extremely averse to the initiative of adult women as an adult!
I pushed her away forcefully, a sudden surge of anger welling up inside me.
I pulled out my belt and slapped her across the backside. Fan Ying cried out, and I slapped her
twice more on the buttocks!
This little bitch was completely insane. She scrambled off the sofa, knelt at my feet with a thud, buried her head in
my crotch, and gently bit down on what was inside.
Did this little bitch enjoy being tortured?
I forcefully pried her hands off, threw her onto the sofa, twisted her arms behind her back, and tied her up with the belt.
But she didn't seem angry; I thought I heard her laugh.
I slapped her buttocks twice, and she cried out—no! It was a groan! Then two more slaps.
"Ah—uh, ah uh!" I couldn't bring myself to do it again!
I turned on the floor lamp.
Fan Ying straightened up, hands behind her back, glaring at me. Strangely, no matter how much she
glared, there was no fierce glint in her eyes—unlike her mother! "Go ahead and hit me?" Fan Ying seemed to have seen through my weakness, and
said provocatively, "I'd rather die than leave you!" My God! Did you send her here to pay off a debt? Or
to punish me again?
Ten years ago, when I thrust my humiliated penis into your twelve-year-old body, how exhilarating it was!
I wanted to repay all the humiliation I had suffered! I fucked you! Just to humiliate your mother and you!
But I increasingly realized that I hadn't succeeded! The reason I hadn't succeeded wasn't because of me, but because she gave birth
to a daughter who was naturally unafraid of being fucked. In
this respect, the mother and daughter were quite alike! But one was a devil and the other an angel!
When I was locked in the storage room and almost starved to death, I swore in my heart: If I get out, if I
live to the day I can deal with you, I will kill you all, leaving only those two young ladies! But when that day
actually came, I felt that the hatred in my heart wasn't to the point where killing them would be the only way to vent my anger.
I think the reason I wasn't so heartless was because of Fangfang; it was her kindness that
prevented my conscience from being completely destroyed!
But now, facing Fan Ying, who is so persistently in love with me, I really have no choice.
I sat back down on the sofa, and as soon as I did, Fan Ying collapsed onto my lap like a felled tree.
She struggled to turn her face towards me, her eyes still shining with love. "Does it hurt?" I asked, my heart softening.
Actually, I'm like that all the time. When I get angry, I feel better immediately after I vent. "Hmm." Fan Ying nodded.
"Do you still dare to love me?" "Hmm." She nodded again. "Why do you love me?" "You've asked me that countless times
. I don't know. Maybe God sent me to pay off a debt." Hearing this, my heart skipped a beat: She shouldn't know
who I am, right? She also wouldn't know who I'm talking about in my story, because I've hidden the time, place, and name.
"Tell me what happened to the older sister." "Want to hear more?" "Hmm." "Aren't you afraid of being stimulated?" "It's already starting to
be stimulated..." Fan Ying showed her sweet smile again.
I knew what she meant. I had just mentioned the older sister Fangfang, and it was reacting down there. At this moment, Fan Ying
's head was resting on it, and I felt it throb twice. I ignored it and continued... Actually, boys and girls
are equally curious about sex at that age. My older sister Fangfang had glimpsed her older sister being fucked
.
That day was the older sister Fangfang's birthday. That evening, we sat by the door again, gazing at the stars. I was in a great mood,
the atmosphere was wonderful, and we chatted and laughed. I hadn't been this happy in a long time. Suddenly, my older sister
said, "You know what big sister…" I knew what she wanted to say, but I teased her, "What?"
"You know." "You know too?" My sister fell silent. My heart pounded.
At my age, I wanted to say things but didn't know how. I hadn't even expected my older sister, Fangfang, to say this. I always thought
knowing something was more shameful than actually doing it. But she said it, and that was encouragement.
For a long time, we didn't know what to say. Then, her words surprised me again: "I
won't let Daddy touch me, but you can touch me, and I'll let you touch me." My heart was pounding. I couldn't believe it was Fangfang who said it,
I couldn't believe it was her!
The more I wanted to do it, the more afraid I became, but Fangfang wasn't afraid! She stood up and leaned against the blue brick wall outside the gate:
"Come here!" I went over and stood facing her. I heard Fangfang's breathing was heavy, and actually,
mine was too.
Then, I heard her say something shocking: "Fuck me!" I'd be a liar! She really
said it! Whether she learned it from someone else or made it up herself, she really said it! Although her voice
was very soft, it was truly shocking. Maybe at that age, in that era, we didn't know how to express ourselves,
so we could only use dirty words! But when I heard Fangfang say it, it didn't seem dirty at all; in fact
, it was so novel.
I bent over, my hips bent, and positioned myself against her. By then, I was slightly taller than her, so the position was almost
perfect.
I pressed against her, already feeling very pleasure, and perhaps instinctively, I bravely made
that move—a move I knew without being taught, a move even a boy could do. I felt like I had
fucked her! And not just once! "Get up," said Fangfang, so I stood up straight and
moved slightly away from her. I saw her pulling down her pants! Back then, we kids didn't wear belts, and elastic waistbands
were easy to slip off.
But as soon as Fangfang pulled them down a little, she pulled them up again. After a moment of hesitation, she said, "
How about we do it like Dad and my sister?" I swear to God again, that's exactly what she said!
I said okay. Fangfang then pulled me to the latrine behind our house. She seemed to
know that place was secluded better than I did, because I had also masturbated there. "
Do you dare?" Fangfang asked, and even if I didn't dare, I had to say yes.
Fangfang sat down and pulled her pants down to her thighs, and I pulled mine down and lay down on top of her.
Our genitals really touched, it felt so good, so bold! So exciting! Because I
had made that spontaneous move towards the young lady while standing at the gate earlier without provoking her objection
, I felt even more comfortable making that move in this state!
Flesh to flesh, more direct and real than before through her pants! At that time, I didn't have
the desire to penetrate; I thought that was already fucking.
"It feels good," said the young lady Fangfang, and that made me want to fuck even more, to fuck her inside, even though I
didn't know how to get in. My penis was just telling me to fuck her.
We fucked like that for a while, and it seemed like we both felt it shouldn't end there. Our
emotions were running high.
"Look around," said the young lady Fangfang. I got up, looked around, and saw no one. I eagerly asked,
"Again!"
The young lady Fangfang agreed to go again. As I mentioned before, we both seemed to feel it wasn't just about that, so
I asked, "Why didn't you go in?"
Although the young lady Fangfang didn't say anything, she seemed to think we should go in too. I told her to take off her pants and try it
on. Fangfang started taking them off, but she didn't want to take them off anymore because she still had to take off her shoes.
"Will this work?"
she asked. She lay back down, knees apart, and I climbed on top of her again. It felt more real this way because the head of my penis was touching
her deeper. I started thrusting again, and the pleasure in my glans was much more intense than before.
A few times, it felt like I was actually inside her, which felt incredibly good! I became even more excited, my desire more
intense, as if it wouldn't be over until I was inside.
I thrust haphazardly, and Fangfang seemed to find it fun. Suddenly, I felt my glans being gripped,
as if I had entered. The sounds of pain from Fangfang confirmed that
I had entered, and the obvious pleasure also confirmed it.
I was overjoyed, but also a little panicked. I felt that with one more push, I would be inside, so I thrust in recklessly
: and it was inside! The feeling of my penis being surrounded was vivid and intense! The pleasure traveled through the shaft
to between my legs… Fangfang, the young woman, made a strange noise and startled me, pushing me up.
We both got up, seemingly terrified by the real sensation of penetration. Because at our age
, aside from food entering our mouths, our bodies had never had any foreign objects inside us. The fact that it actually entered us was frightening
.
"It really went in!" said Fangfang, and her words terrified me even more.
It took a long time for our hearts, at least mine, to calm down, but thinking back on the vivid, unforgettable feeling still
filled me with elation!
That night, lying in bed, I kept thinking about that final thrust—it really went in! My heart was filled with joy and
fear at the same time. I wondered if Fangfang would be alright.
The next day, I found out she was fine, and I was relieved.
Many days passed. That day, a movie was showing, and my mother and several older sisters went to see it. I was left at home
to look after my younger brother. Fangfang wanted to go too, and I secretly told her, "You're not going, you've already seen it." Fangfang
didn't go.
After they all left, we seemed to have a tacit understanding and got onto the kang (heated brick bed), each of us seemingly
thinking about something, and neither of us spoke at first. Seeing that my brother was asleep, I called Fangfang to another
kang and suggested we have sex. Fangfang didn't object, but she wasn't enthusiastic either. It seemed the pain from last time was still making her
depressed.
She said, "Let's kiss first," so I kissed her, but it didn't feel very interesting.
Then we didn't know what to do next.
My older sister, Fangfang, lay there fully clothed. At that time, I wasn't interested in her developing breasts,
only her vagina. Looking at her bulging vulva, my desire grew stronger. I playfully climbed on top of
her and had sex with her through her clothes. Fangfang playedfully didn't protest. Long ago, when I was still pampered
, I would sleep on my sisters' backs, and they were happy to sleep with me, partly because they were afraid I would wet the bed, and partly because they were afraid I would climb on top of them
, since my mother often let me sleep on her stomach.
None of my sisters were happy to sleep on top of me; they all said it was too much pressure. Actually, I only weighed a few pounds back then!
But now, when I'm on top of Fangfang, she doesn't say it's too much pressure anymore; she seems quite willing to let me.
Then she agreed to my suggestion and took off her pants to try again.
This time it was more convenient on the kang (heated brick bed). Fangfang took off her pants, and I saw that alluring little slit again, and
I loved it! I showed it to her too, and Fangfang liked it very much.
"Hey, last time it really went in," Fangfang said as I climbed on top of her. I didn't know if she meant to
say, "Let's go in again this time," or if she had doubts about whether she had actually gone in, or perhaps about where she entered?
This time I still didn't find the right spot, but when the head of my penis touched the flesh inside Fangfang's vagina, it felt
even better than last time, as if it was wetter.
Fangfang looked at me with bright eyes, as if she was experiencing it; in fact, we were both experiencing that distinct
sensation of contact.
I thrust haphazardly, and suddenly I felt that same incredibly pleasurable sensation of entry again, and Fangfang's body
trembled slightly.
"It went in!" I said excitedly, as if responding to her earlier statement, "Last time it really went in."
On the other hand, I was also asking her: Was it right? Was it the right place to enter? Actually, at that time, Fangfang
didn't know if it was right or not, but it went in, and going in meant success. This huge success made us both very happy.
Fangfang didn't cry out in pain! Instead, when I started doing that kind of movement, she said, "Who taught you that?"
I couldn't answer her, and I couldn't answer her anyway. The immense pleasure my penis was generating urged me to clumsily
start thrusting. If last time was just playing around, a sex game, then this time it was real sex, and what
pleased me was that the movement was very natural. Fangfang's vagina seemed very slippery, indeed very slippery. It made me
truly feel like I was going in and out of a tube.
Driven by that magical pleasure, we both started to take it seriously: Fangfang clearly started
breathing heavily, just like Dad did on my older sister. I also thrust very seriously, dozens of times, probably
more than ten. Suddenly, I couldn't control myself anymore, my buttocks instinctively hooked down, hooking down as hard as I could… For the first
time, I didn't reach orgasm through masturbation! The pleasure was even greater and more overwhelming than anything I could achieve with my own hands!
I felt my body completely out of control as my hips bent over!
Afterwards, besides feeling genuine joy, I suddenly felt like I had grown up. No one had ever
taught me, yet I had thrust so many times—it was real fucking!
It was so much fun! So exciting! I asked for another round, and the young lady didn't object.
When I pulled out my penis, she gently pinched the head and smiled. I re-entered, this time thrusting harder. She
wouldn't let me thrust that hard, so I slowed down. I was willing to do anything as long as she didn't let me ejaculate;
that's what I was thinking at the time. She was also very focused, truly experiencing it. We both seemed to have forgotten
about the noise outside. By the time we heard a noise from the floor below, it was too late.
My mother came in before I even got up.
"You little bastard! You're useless!" Mom went out, but immediately came back in, broom in hand,
and started hitting me all over. I dodged while pulling up my pants. Mom got tired and dropped the broom: "You wait!"
I knew she went to get the scissors. I was terrified. Before she came back, I ran out.
This time I escaped! I never dared to go back. I knew I had done something terribly wrong, and I had no face to go back to
that house!
No one would believe it, and you wouldn't believe it either, but I knew how to have sex when I was just over twelve!
"Me too, hehe... But I read in a book that early masturbation and sexual activity can affect penile development
, but yours didn't seem to be affected? Hehe." Fan Ying's head was still on my lap as she looked up and asked.
"What's in the books isn't always right, it varies from person to person! The book says girls grow pubic hair at twelve, why
didn't you grow any then?"
"I still don't have any now."
"Nonsense, you had quite a bit by fourteen."
"Don't believe me? Feel it."
I knew this little bitch wouldn't be satisfied until I fucked her today; she was just saying this to get me to touch her.
"You really want me to fuck you that much?" I asked.
Fan Ying looked up at me and nodded. I also scrutinized her; to be honest, Fan Ying was indeed beautiful, her eyes...
Eyes, nose, mouth. Nothing about her is ugly. But that one thing she doesn't change. If only she
could stay like she was eleven or twelve!
I put a finger deep into her mouth, and she gently sucked on it.
"Do you remember when you were twelve?"
"..." Fan Ying nodded.
"I like you too, but I just can't overcome the deep-seated aversion I feel towards adult women."
"Then just pretend I'm twelve."
"But you're twenty-one!"
I sighed. I thought to myself: If only you would never grow up!
Fan Ying held two of my fingers in her mouth, sucking on them incessantly. I looked down at her, and her eyes were only on
me. Our eyes met, and at that moment it felt like we were talking. I knew what she wanted to say, and she
seemed to have guessed what I was thinking.
"Then you can use your upper body." Fan Ying is just that adorable; you can't hate her no matter what!
I moved her head away, almost falling off, and then I remembered her hands were still tied. I thought about
untying them, but then I thought it was fine this way. I don't like girls taking the initiative; in such passive situations, I become even more possessive
!
I unzipped my pants and pulled it out right under her nose… She offered to take it in her mouth, but I didn't.
I held the base of it, making it look particularly obscene, and gently patted her lips… To be honest, I still
had feelings of inferiority in my twenties. Because of being molested and humiliated as a child, I was afraid to urinate in front of my friends since I was ten. I was
afraid that others would laugh at my ugliness, or that I would always feel inferior to others in terms of virility. Since receiving Fan Ying's praise
, my confidence has increased.
Fan Ying is a modern girl, bold, cheerful, and daring to do anything. Although I have refused to
have sex with her over the years, I have not refused to let her perform oral sex on me, and she always accepts it happily.
Fan Ying opened her mouth wide and made a biting motion.
"Can I not wash it?" I asked, because I could smell the fishy smell of my penis coming from here.
"…" Fan Ying nodded.
I put it in, and she happily accepted it.
Only under such circumstances do I feel proud and satisfied!
I got up and switched places with her. I knelt under the sofa, peeking Fan Ying's head out slightly; her
hands were still bound.
I started thrusting, evenly, making "pop-pop" sounds between Fan Ying's lips.
After a while, I withdrew to see her reaction. This was the first time I'd used such a passive method on her.
"Do you like it?" I asked.
"Mmm. Come on—" Fan Ying opened her mouth and took it in, and I continued thrusting. I became more and more excited, and she became more and more
agitated, making strange moans from her throat.
Then I held her head in place with my hands, pushing further into her throat, holding for a moment, and then withdrew.
Fan Ying twitched twice but didn't vomit. I slapped her lips with my penis until she caught her breath.
"Fuck!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Ah—" she opened her mouth, letting her throat open.
Damn! So this little bitch really likes being tortured!
I continued thrusting, increasing the amplitude, withdrawing after a few deep thrusts to let her catch her breath. Then, I pulled
her head completely out, letting it dangle off the edge of the sofa, and quickly reached her throat.
"Ugh—ugh—" Her body convulsed violently, her throat emitting a terrible rumination sound!
It seemed she couldn't take it anymore. She tried to lift her head, but I held it down again, and she began to shake her head with her mouth closed.
"One more time."
She continued to shake her head.
"Just one more time."
She had no choice but to open her mouth, taking a moment to prepare, meaning it was enough. I was masturbating, almost climaxing.
I aimed, and just as my semen was about to ejaculate, I quickly reached her throat, holding on. As I let out a
pleasurable moan, she also let out a protesting moan!
I withdrew.
"Ugh—" Fan Ying tilted her head and vomited. She looked very uncomfortable, as if she had choked.
I straightened her up and untied her hands. Her eyes were red as if she wanted to eat someone.
As soon as her hands were freed, she raised her little fist and lightly hit me: "You're so bad! You're so bad!"
I handed her the tea, and Fan Ying took it and went to the bathroom...
Chapter 4
Little Red That night, for the first time after Yingying turned fourteen, I held her and slept with her. In the middle of the night, this little slut
in heat "raped" me.
When I got up in the morning, I lifted the covers, ready to slap her. Suddenly, I discovered that this little slut had no hair down there, and
the shape of her bulge looked about the same as when she was twelve or thirteen.
Fan Ying smiled at me shyly, as if waiting for my praise. "How did you wash it off?" I asked, not
wanting to see what was inside her; I knew it must be very pigmented. "Don't worry about it! Hehe,
is there any difference between this and when I was little?" "Of course there is." "You're naughty! I've kept myself pure for you, isn't this what you like
?" Fan Ying admired herself. Then she tried to climb on top of me, but I pushed her away: "Come on, I'll tell you
what the difference is." "I don't want to go, I'm already exhausted." "Don't blame me, I didn't touch you." "It's
your fault! It's your fault!" Fan Ying gently pointed at my still-erect penis with her finger, then whispered
in my ear: "It's really amazing!" It seemed I had no choice but to get up, otherwise she would want it again. "Get up,
I'll take you to a good place." After showering and having a simple breakfast, I drove to the Youxiang
Grottoes, 400 kilometers away.
The car bumped along the rugged mountain road for an hour before finally stopping. Fan Ying was already feeling carsick, and as soon as she
got out, she grabbed my arm and leaned her head on my shoulder.
I told her that this was an undeveloped grotto, but many scholars had come to investigate it in recent years. We
went inside, and there were already several groups of people examining and discussing the murals. Perhaps because I had a girl with me, their eyes
all swept over, but their attention quickly returned to their own small groups and the murals themselves.
They all knew that those who could enter this place weren't ordinary tourists; they were people of status. "My God!"
I heard Fan Ying exclaim softly in amazement.
Clearly, she was stunned by the content of those thousand-year-old murals:
the scenes of men and women engaging in sexual intercourse depicted before her were truly astonishing! This was a school for studying the history of incest and child sex in China, and even in human history
! "Look, this depicts father-daughter incest," I whispered to Fan Ying. "How do you know?"
"Look, that girl, who looks about ten years old, is having sex with her father, and
the woman next to her holding a baby, isn't that her mother?" "They're a brother and sister. That one is too." "How can you tell?"
"Look, their body sizes are similar, and it's obviously at home. Look, outside is the main room, and the mother
is cooking." Fan Ying nodded slightly in agreement. I walked past a small group of three;
one of them was taking pictures, and another was diligently taking notes. "Look, here, this is a scene of illicit union, clearly a family.
There are oxen nearby, a father and daughter... a brother and sister. What a beautiful pastoral scene! This is what true family bliss looks like
!" My arm was lightly pinched. "This depicts child marriage. How old were they?"
"Do you understand?" Fan Ying said mischievously. "How did you know back then?" My arm hurt again: "I was
raped by you." "Nonsense! At most, it was seduction." "Same as under fourteen years old..." Fan Ying
stopped talking when she saw someone approaching. "This depicts the lives of ordinary people, not nobles. Until the 1970s
, the local custom of child marriage was still preserved." "How do you know so much about this place?" "
I'll tell you later." The entire grotto was about twenty meters long, and the highest point was five meters high. Some of the murals
had weathered and peeled off. Fan Ying and I walked around inside twice before coming out.
On the way back, Fan Ying asked that question again. As I drove, I told her about thirty years
ago… how I left that home that never truly belonged to me. My only worry was whether my older sister, Fangfang, would be beaten.
I ran over twenty miles and saw the railway, saw the train—it was the first time I'd ever seen a train.
It was still dark, and I didn't know where I was going. I walked along the railway tracks and saw many lights ahead,
so I headed towards them. As I got closer, I realized there was a train stopped there; that must be the station.
I wanted to climb on, but seeing how tall the carriages were, I was terrified. Following the train, I finally saw a
lower carriage, and I struggled to climb on. There was even a tarpaulin! I forcefully lifted a small corner and huddled
inside. After a long wait, the train slowly started moving.
I don't know how many times the train stopped, or how long I slept. This time, it stopped for a very long time, as if it
was tired and didn't want to run anymore. I got down, and some people came by. They saw me and asked what I was doing, so I ran away
. I only stopped when they stopped chasing me.
I felt very hungry, my stomach was growling, so I walked towards a nearby village. By the time I reached the village, it was already
evening. I walked around the village like an idiot, hoping someone would take pity on me and give me some food. The higher my hope, the
hungrier I felt. At the same time, fear and despair rose in my heart. I thought to myself, "Forget I ran away. Let them beat me up; at least
I'll get some food."
I saw a pair of beggars, a lame adult leading a little girl, who
looked about seven or eight years old. I followed them like an idiot, watching how they begged.
After following three houses, I saw two of them give me food. I was incredibly greedy. The little girl had already noticed me, and she was
glaring at me angrily. But I still followed them. They begged from a few more houses and then headed out of the village. I still followed.
The little girl started to alert the adult, and the adult turned around to look at me, but didn't force me.
I followed them to a dilapidated, drafty shack; it seemed to be their home. Inside, there was straw and
tattered quilts. I sat by the door, not moving, while they began sharing the food they had brought. "Come here," I heard
the adult call me. My heart warmed; finally, there was hope!
The adult handed me something, which I took and ate immediately. I was starving, and soon the cornbread
was gone. The adult glanced at me, and the little girl looked at me too, but because the adult had been so kind, her
gaze wasn't so menacing.
The adult gave me another piece and a scallion, which I devoured.
The adult finished eating. The little girl was still eating, and I no longer felt hungry. Suddenly, the adult spoke. "Where
did you come from?" "..." I didn't answer. They had already looked me up and down several times; my
clothes, however bad, were cleaner than theirs. "Were you beaten?" he asked again. He seemed to know.
I still didn't speak. "He's mute, haha..." the little girl laughed at me.
It was already dark when she said this. Looking at the night outside, I realized I'd have to stay here tonight
.
They took me in. I lay down in the grass next to them. I didn't like being near them; they smelled bad
. I heard the adults talking to the little girl, like they were telling a story. The little girl occasionally made small sounds.
But I couldn't understand much of what they were saying. The room was completely dark; we couldn't see each other's faces. I took out my penis
and masturbated. At that age, I felt uneasy if I didn't play with my penis for two days.
Suddenly, I heard the little girl make a peculiar sound, definitely not laughter. Then it stopped, and after
a while, it came out again. It was strange; they definitely weren't asleep. "Pee." This time I heard it clearly; the little girl said
she needed to pee. Then I felt someone get up, walk past me, and go outside to pee. They
came back and lay down. A little while later, I heard the little girl let out a short, sharp moan.
The next morning, when they got up, the sun was high in the sky. They were going to beg for food again, and I wanted to go with them, but
the adults stopped me.
I started to get hungry again, and seeing that there was nothing to eat there, and they hadn't returned by noon, I was
starving. So I went out again, foolishly wandering around the village, going to the houses I'd seen them begging from the day before, but
I didn't see them.
As the sun was about to set again, I timidly returned to the dilapidated house, thinking they definitely wouldn't take me in anymore
.
It was already dark inside, but I could still see things clearly. Their tattered blankets were still there, meaning they hadn't left. But then I noticed
something was wrong; the blankets were bulging. I went closer and saw they were wrapped up inside the tattered cotton blankets. "There's something there, you..."
"Eat." The adult saw me. I went to look for it, but I couldn't see it clearly. I just picked it up and ate it. There seemed to be a
lot, and I definitely couldn't finish it.
After I finished eating, I returned to my place, curled up, but I wasn't sleepy. I felt so lost and
desperate, not knowing what tomorrow would bring.
Suddenly, I heard the little girl make that strange sound again. After a while, I heard the little girl say, "Pee."
On the morning of the third day, the adult went out alone, and the little girl didn't go with him. At first, we ignored each other. Later,
she went out, and I went out too. I didn't see her, so I wandered around the dilapidated house. Suddenly, I saw the little girl
squatting in the corner defecating.
That conspicuous spot immediately caught my eye. It was cracked, revealing tender red flesh,
similar to that of the older girl, Fangfang.
The little girl didn't seem to be ashamed. She didn't chase me away when she saw me looking at her. I was excited and had an idea: I would also
go and defecate.
I walked a short distance away from her and squatted down facing her. The little girl started to laugh. Seeing that she wasn't hostile
, I smiled and glanced down at her crotch. When she saw me looking down, she looked down at herself, then looked up and
smiled at me. "So small," she said with a laugh.
I looked down at my own crotch and thought it wasn't small at all, much bigger than when I was a child. "This big, my grandpa's!"
she gestured with her hands, then laughed again.
I felt something was off about her words and her laughter. Was she a little mentally challenged? "Have you seen it?" "Hehehehehe.
You know how to fuck?" The moment the girl said that, I knew she was indeed half-mentally challenged. "Yes," I said.
"Hehehehehe." She laughed.
Then she pulled up her pants and ran away. "How old are you?" Back in the house, the girl asked me. "Twelve,
how old are you?" "Ten." "Is he your grandpa?" "Yes, my parents died." She didn't seem
mentally challenged anymore when she said that.
So, I steered the conversation back to the past. "You know how to fuck?" "Hehehehe. My grandpa forbids me from saying that."
She became mentally challenged again. "I'm leaving." "Where to?" I asked. "Home, people aren't allowed to beg in my village
." "Where did your uncle go?" "He went home to get his cart. There's something for you to eat there, that sack
is full of what I asked for, and I still have some at home." "Where do you live?" "Hejia." Of course, I didn't know
where Hejia was. But it seemed very far away because it was almost noon and the adults hadn't returned yet.
Suddenly remembering what happened last night, I asked her what she and her uncle were doing in bed last night. By asking this, I
already thought of her as half-stupid. "My uncle told me not to tell." "I know." I teased her. "You don't
know!" "I know." "You don't know because you're not grown up." "I know I'm not grown up."
"I don't believe you!" "Was it fucking?" "I'll tell my uncle and have him beat you?" Just then, the adults
returned. The little girl got up and helped pack. Her uncle moved the pile of hay, revealing two burlap
sacks full of things. The adults carried the sacks onto the cart, and the little girl also carried the tattered quilt. After about
fifteen minutes, seeing there was nothing left to carry, the adults rolled a cigarette and started smoking.
I felt empty inside. I didn't want to go with them, but if they left, I wouldn't know what to do. I didn't know how
to beg for food; I would starve to death. Go home? I couldn't go back. I didn't know how far I had come, or where my home was
.
I wanted to cry, and I looked at them pleadingly, hoping they would show me a way to survive. "Go home. I'm leaving
," the adult said.
Hearing him say that, my heart ached, and tears welled up in my eyes. "Where is your home?" "I don't know," I
said helplessly. "How did you escape?" "By climbing onto a train." "You're quite capable." "Uncle."
I cried out from the bottom of my heart, "Please take me in." The
adult remained silent for a long time.
I looked at the little girl; she was looking at me too. I was afraid of what she had just said—would she really tell
the adult? I saw no hostility on the little girl's face; she seemed to want me to go with them too.
The adult stood up, pushed the cart, and started walking. The little girl looked back at me, but neither of them said a word.
After they had walked several dozen steps, I cried out in despair, "Grandpa, please take me in!"
The adult didn't turn his head and kept walking forward. After walking quite a distance, the little girl turned around and waved to me
.
I seemed to see the light! I ran over and followed them.
They walked a long, long way, passing a village, but they didn't go in; it seemed they hadn't reached home yet. The adult stopped to smoke
: "Call me 'Dad' three times, and I'll take you with me. If I don't, you can go wherever you want!"
I hesitated. It wasn't that I didn't want to call him that; it was that I didn't know how. I had always called him "Dad," never "Father."
"If you won't call, then you can leave."
"Dad!" I mustered my courage and called out. The adult smiled at me, still waiting for the next two calls.
"Dad!" I called out again. He still didn't answer.
"Dad!"
"Yes!" He answered, standing up: "Begging has yielded a son, what a wonderful thing! Honghong, come here,
call me brother!"
Only then did I realize the little girl's name was Honghong. Honghong innocently called me "brother," and the two of us followed
the adult towards their village.
Just as we entered the village, we saw several other groups of people pushing sacks back, it seemed begging was common in their village.
Their family lived at the east end of the village, north of their house, with mountains not far to the east. The house had only three rooms, and
although it looked dilapidated from the outside, at least there was no draft or leak. The middle room had a stove, which was next to the west room.
There was a square hole in the wall of the stove connecting to the west room, where the kerosene lamp was kept. The west room had a kang (heated brick bed), which was where they slept.
The door to the east room was locked. But there was also a square hole in the wall, which had originally been covered by a New Year's picture. Now
the picture was broken, half of it had fallen off, so it looked a bit scary, and the hole was bigger than the one on the west side.
I helped them unload the things they had brought, and Xiao Hong went into the west room, almost shouting with joy, "I have a brother now
! No one will dare to bully me this time!"
The adults grinned and went to cook.
Poor children learn to be independent early! While her uncle was cooking, Xiao Hong had already started tidying up the kang (heated brick bed), bustling about.
I helped her get this and that.
"Thump!" Something fell under the kang (heated brick bed). I picked it up and saw it was a radish bottom. Looking closer,
it seemed to have been gnawed on recently; the cut was still fresh.
"Brother, you sleep here, I'll sleep here," Xiao Hong called sweetly. Hearing her call me "brother" this time
warmed my heart. It wasn't like the time on the road, when her uncle forced her to call him that. This time, she called him that herself. Hearing this, I
suddenly felt like I'd grown up. I had a sister now. Although I had a younger brother in that family, he never called
me "brother." It was as if I was always the youngest, the lowest!
Now I had a sister! What a wonderful thing.
"Brother," Xiao Hong called again, "If anyone bullies me, will you do anything about it?"
"Yes!" I said. I noticed Xiao Hong wasn't stupid when she worked, nor when she spoke. Her smile seemed a little
different, a little silly. "Is anyone else living in your house?" I asked Xiao Hong.
"No, it's just me and Grandpa."
"Honghong? Go, get some more firewood!" The adults called to Honghong from the ground floor.
While we were eating, the loudspeaker outside started blaring, but I couldn't understand what it was saying. After dinner,
some people came to "our" house. It seemed that some people already knew that Grandpa Honghong had taken in a son. Two neighbors came over
, both telling Grandpa Honghong that he was very lucky. Then they left. A little while later, Dad also went out.
I asked Honghong where she had gone, and she said the production team was calling for a meeting. She wanted to take me to see it, but I refused. So Honghong
led me around her house, telling me where snakes were, asking if I was scared, and telling me which
neighbors were good and which were bad. It seemed she already considered me family.
While we were playing and watching, Honghong suddenly pulled down her pants, ready to urinate. She looked around, but not at
people, because she looked up at the sky, and then squatted down and started urinating, without any shame in front of me.
"Girls here can't pee facing north or east."
"Why?" I asked, my eyes fixed on the cleft between her legs, seeing her tender red flesh exposed
, and I thought of my older sister Fangfang... "Because there are mountains to the north and east, and mountain gods live on those mountains. If you pee on them, the mountain
gods will capture you."
I listened, thinking it was just an adult comforting a child. Seeing me looking at where she peed, Xiaohong lowered her head to
look too. Urine was shooting out from the middle. Xiaohong laughed, looked at me again, and then stood up.
"You don't believe me? It's true! Several girls in my village have been captured!" Xiaohong said seriously, then
she pointed into the distance: "Look, that's Black Wind Pass. The mountain gods are there, and even adults don't dare to go there, really?"
I looked in the direction she pointed and indeed saw a huge gap between two mountains.
"The day after tomorrow is the fifteenth of March, a day to worship the mountain god. I came back to worship the mountain god, but the commune won't allow it;
they send people to arrest me every year!"
When Xiaohong said this, she sounded not only like a normal girl but also like an adult.
It seemed there would be no dinner. When Dad returned from the meeting, night had already fallen. He didn't cook, and the three of us
went to bed.
Xiaohong's words made me somewhat uneasy. Having just arrived in a strange place, and with no light in the room, I began
to fear that there really was a mountain god.
Dad said that the production team had said that adults should come back to farm, and children should go to school. Xiaohong said she wouldn't
go. Dad said, "Now you have an older brother, no one will dare bully you. Go ahead.
" Xiaohong didn't object anymore. "When you grow up, I'll make Xiaohong your wife, hehe..." Dad said cheerfully. "Did you hear that, Xiaohong?
Are you willing?"
"Yes. Hehe." Xiaohong smiled at me, but I couldn't see her face clearly anymore. At that time, I didn't
know what getting a wife was for, nor did I have that thought. So when Dad said that, I just thought he was coaxing a child
. But what he said next didn't sound like he was just coaxing a child.
"Then you can sleep with your wife tonight," Dad said, stroking my head.
I thought, fine, I'm not grown up yet, I'll think about it when I'm older. During the day, I saw Xiaohong peeing, and
I thought about her little pussy, maybe I could touch it... We talked, killing time, and also easing the
sense of unfamiliarity in my heart. There were times when neither of us spoke, and it was especially quiet. Occasionally, I could hear a dog barking in the distance, but it wasn't
continuous, it seemed like it was barking alertly, not like it was barking wildly when it heard strangers.
"No one's coming, I'll go close the gate," Dad said, getting off the kang (a heated brick bed). A little while later, I heard
the sound of the gate closing outside.
"Aren't you afraid of the dark?" I asked Xiaohong. Actually, I wasn't too afraid if Dad didn't go to close the gate,
but I was afraid when he said he was going to close it. I'm afraid of the dark because I was once locked in the storage room for three days. However, as we
prepared to sleep, the moon had already risen, and light shone on the kang (a heated brick bed).
"Tired?" Dad said as he returned to the kang.
Xiaohong and I shared a quilt. When we lay down, I noticed that Xiaohong was also naked. But in this
unfamiliar village, on this unfamiliar kang, under this unfamiliar moonlight, I seemed to have no thoughts
. With the adults around, I didn't dare to have those fleeting thoughts I had when I saw Xiaohong urinating during the day. I didn't dare to hold Xiaohong while sleeping,
but our bodies were still close together, and I was naked.
In the darkness, Dad seemed to be talking to himself, asking me what my name was, where I lived, who else was in my family, and so
on. I answered them all.
To my own disbelief, although I had played those kinds of games with my older sister Fangfang, that
night, when Xiaohong and I slept in the same quilt, I didn't know what I did.
I don't know when I fell asleep. But I was awakened in my dream by a noise, and when I woke up, I felt
my chest still pounding.
The sound seemed to be coming from under the eaves (we usually call the main room where we cook "the floor," and the floor under the eaves is
the opposite of the kang (heated brick bed),) like the sound of someone kneeling on the ground. But I heard Dad and Xiaohong breathing
evenly, still fast asleep… I remembered, it wasn't a dream, I really heard it. I opened my eyes,
looking at the eerie moonlight streaming in through the window, and heard the faint barking of dogs in the distance. My heart pounded. Even
without a mountain god, in such a strange place, would I be killed?
Suddenly, the sound returned, like someone walking on their heels, seemingly from under the eaves.
I clung tightly to Xiaohong, terrified the sound would come in.
The next day, Dad told me to go to school too; he said he'd spoken to the teacher. Xiaohong was the happiest, chatting and
laughing all the way. We encountered several children and adults, who all looked me over.
I was in fifth grade, Xiaohong in third; our classrooms weren't next to each other, separated by a street. The classrooms were
quite dilapidated, and the desks were brought from home by the children. Because my family's desk was in Xiaohong's classroom, I had to
share one with a child in the last row.
From the first day, I could see their awe of me, a city dweller! They just looked at me curiously,
or laughed when I spoke, laughing at my different accent, but their gazes were always kind
and respectful. My deskmate even deliberately gave me most of the desk, leaning on the edge himself.
The children talked, laughed, ran, and played. Xiaohong pointed to a girl and said she was the boy's wife
. She spoke so casually when she mentioned whose suit was whose, as if they were born knowing
about marriage.
The third day after arriving at this family home was the fifteenth of March, the day Xiao Hong had mentioned for offering sacrifices to the mountain god.
Two friendly boys from the village were already calling me to go see it. As soon as we left the house, we heard
a sharp trumpet sound in the street. We ran over and saw a procession approaching, carrying
a pig's head, chickens, and ducks, all cooked. There were also seven paper maidens. The elder leading the way was dressed
like a ghost, his face painted white, wielding a flower stick, constantly brandishing it, then pointing it forward.
Almost all the men in the village had come, forming a long line, with the boys at the back just watching the spectacle.
We followed the procession to the foot of the mountain. The crowd quieted down, and I saw the pig's head, chickens, ducks, and seven paper maidens
already arranged, and incense smoke rising.
Suddenly, a strange scream rang out, probably from the elder. Everyone immediately responded, kneeling
on the ground in a panic, prostrating themselves. Then they all joined in the howling—I couldn't tell if it was singing or talking, maybe some were singing, some were talking,
and some were even using falsetto!
The scene instantly terrified me! Luckily it was daytime, and luckily there were many people, otherwise I would have wet my pants.
Daytime was alright; there was noise, and I had friends, even though we had only just gotten to know each other. But at night, I
was afraid—afraid of the dark, and darkness descended every day as expected.
Since I came to this house, neighbors have always come to "visit" me. Some say
I really look like my father! Others say city kids are different, so fair-skinned! Some older women seem to
have never been shy since they entered the house, sitting on the edge of the kang (heated brick bed), patting my head and my hands.
"Let me touch your balls," one of the older women said with a smile, reaching out to touch my crotch. I refused. She
laughed and said, "You're shy now, aren't you? Have a wife yet? Haha, haha. Little boy, sitting on the doorstep, crying
and shouting for a wife!" Saying this, she pulled me aside, acting very affectionately, which made up for
the awkwardness I'd felt for the past few days. But they seemed strange; seeing a little boy, touching his genitals seemed like
a stroke of good luck.
I finally let that auntie touch me, and she even made my penis hard. She didn't care, laughing
and saying, "Good for getting a wife!"
Her words seemed to be the first time I understood the meaning of getting a wife. That night, when Xiaohong and I lay in bed again
, my penis was always hard, and I kept thinking about my father's words: "When you grow up, let Xiaohong be your wife."
When I touched Xiaohong's genitals, half out of curiosity and half out of liking, Xiaohong silently let me
touch her, her legs spread open, but with the adults around, I didn't dare do anything. I just awkwardly held
Xiaohong and fell asleep.
Fortunately, I didn't hear any scary noises that night.
The next day after school, because of my bold act of touching Xiaohong's vulva in bed the night before, I
longed for it even more. Dad wasn't home, so I called Xiaohong to the kang (heated brick bed) and said I could touch her. Xiaohong didn't object and happily
let me touch her. However, as soon as my hand went in, Xiaohong suddenly stared at me silently, her eyes sparkling
with joy. I was also pleasantly surprised, as if I had truly understood the meaning of "wife." It turned out that I
could touch and play with my wife's vulva at will.
Suddenly, Xiaohong whispered to me, "Touch my vulva."
It turned out that Xiaohong knew this, even better than I did. I had been trying for a long time but couldn't figure out how to find the vulva.
I tried to find it, and sure enough, just as Xiaohong said, there was an opening where I could bend my finger. Xiaohong's expression suddenly
changed; she wasn't nervous, nor was she happy.
The little hole was already wet, and when I touched it with my finger, it seemed to get even wetter.
"Shall we have some sex?" I suggested, and Xiaohong happily agreed.
In broad daylight, we both took off our pants, and I excitedly climbed on top of her. It didn't take much effort; it slipped
in easily.
"Why is yours so small?" Xiaohong asked. I said I wasn't grown up yet, but in my heart, I thought, who cares about size
, as long as I'm comfortable. Having had experience with older girls like Fangfang, my hips and waist could move freely. Just as I
was getting into it, Dad came home. He saw us on the kang (heated brick bed) but didn't say anything, which scared me!
In the evening, Dad went to fetch water and called me along, meaning he wanted me to study.
"Little thing, you know everything!" Dad stroked my head and smiled kindly.
For the first time, I didn't feel inferior; it was also the first time I'd been praised for doing something wrong!
At that age, I only saw sex as play, at most a
game that could reach that supreme state without masturbation. At that age, I didn't have love in my heart, and I didn't know what
jealousy was. So when Dad said he wanted to cuddle with Xiaohong to sleep that night, I wasn't unhappy at all.
However, it seemed Dad didn't have to avoid me anymore. I saw his blanket being pushed up, and then Xiaohong let out
a soft moan; I guessed he was penetrating her.
Even though Dad could do it in front of me, I didn't dare to have sex with Xiaohong in front of him. The next day, I...
Xiao Hong coaxed me to a secluded spot and had sex with me, but I wasn't satisfied yet.
When we got home, my father had gone to work, and Xiao Hong said she wanted to go to the fields too
. She asked me to get something from inside the house—I forget what it was—and she waited for me at the door.
I went inside and suddenly felt something was wrong. Suddenly, I saw the painting on the east wall move slightly,
and then I saw a hand retracting… I was so scared my hair stood on end, and I turned and ran outside!
Chapter Five
Cui'er "Go on, continue!" Fan Ying listened intently.
I parked the car. There was a clear puddle by the roadside. We got out and washed our faces. Fan Ying was squatting,
splashing water with her hands, occasionally splashing water on me. I was standing, and I could
see her snow-white breasts through her half-open collar. Fan Ying's breasts were indeed very alluring, large but not excessively so, and looked very full!
She knew I was looking there, and she became even more smug. She was very confident in her breasts!
"If I hadn't developed you when I was twelve, would it be this big?" I said jokingly.
"It was eleven! You old pervert!" Fan Ying splashed water on me. Every time I mentioned twelve,
she would argue with me that it was eleven. I don't understand why, it's really funny. What's funny is that she actually
shaved her pubic hair for me, thinking I only liked bald pubic hair. But if you don't look at her internal structure and
only look at the outside, she really is no different from a twelve or thirteen-year-old.
"I'm going to leave here," I said.
"Why? To avoid me?"
"No." "
Then why? This city is so nice!"
I looked back into the distance, as if looking back at my tragic yet fortunate childhood! My little red sister, my little wife...
"Anyway, I'm sticking with you, wherever you go, I'll go!"
Back in the car, I closed my eyes, and those scenes came back to me. Fan Ying peeled an orange for me and put it
in my mouth.
"When did your mom get married?"
"I don't know!" Fan Ying stuffed another orange into my mouth, which I refused. "No! Have another one!" I
had no choice but to keep it in my mouth. "Why are you asking this?" I mean, judging by the age, your mom was only fifteen or
sixteen when she gave birth to your sister, right? "About that! What? You want me to have your baby? Haha! No problem!" "I mean,
don't you think there's something wrong with this?" "What problem? Who cares!" "Isn't your uncle in Canada?" "
Yes!" "Why don't you ask him to get you out of there?" "I'm not going! What's so great about foreign countries?!" "
Marry a foreigner, foreigners' houses are huge!" "Hahahaha! Yours is still small? It can...hehe...poke my
uterus...hehehe." "When? I didn't feel it?" "You bad boy! Last night, didn't you
see I didn't dare to sit all the way down...hehe..." "I thought you were saying it was the first time!" "You bad boy!" " You still have the nerve to say that? I'm
already being lenient by not sending you to ten years in jail!" "So, I should thank you?" "Of course!" "
Haha!" "But I like it. Hehe." Fan Ying reached out and groped my crotch. "You
liked it from the beginning?" "Hehehe...I don't know, hehe." "Don't affect my driving." My penis
was hard from her groping, but she still couldn't put it down. "Hehe, you drive yours, I'll play mine." "Damn! Can't you
not affect me? Take your hand away!" "No! I just like playing!" "Don't forget who you are just because I'm nice to you?" "
Hehe?" "What are you doing? I can't drive!" Fan Ying started unzipping my pants. "I like it! I like it
but I can't!" "Why do you like this of all things?" I had no choice but to stop and lift my butt.
Fortunately, there weren't many cars on the rural mountain road. I'll just let her have her way. Sometimes I really can't do anything with her,
I can't bring myself to hate her! "Wow! That's great!" Fan Ying finally pulled it out, and because the foreskin was stuck in the front opening of her pants
, it looked particularly bright when it sticks out!
I pressed her head down and continued driving.
Fan Ying ate for a while, then looked up and asked, "Can I ejaculate like this?" "No? You
won't ejaculate even if you eat until tomorrow!" "Why? Is it uncomfortable?" "Two forces, you don't understand!" "I don't believe it!" Saying that, she
lowered her head again to eat.
I tried to focus my energy on driving, so that the desire to concentrate on my penis would subside
. Although I was in the mood, I didn't have the desire to ejaculate.
Fan Ying got tired of eating and looked up again. I glanced at her and smiled. "Have you had enough?" "No."
"Okay, we're almost on the main road, put it back." Fan Ying reluctantly smacked her lips for a few more moments before putting it back.
"Your uncle hasn't been back for years, has he?" "Yes." Fan Ying answered simply. I glanced at him, as if
to say something. "He seems to have a grudge against our family. He used to bully me so much when I was little!
Every time Mom took me to Grandma's, he would hug me and touch me..." "Touch you there?" "Where else would he touch me?
There!" Seeing me laugh, Fan Ying said, "Hey, don't all men like young girls?" "Hahaha
, what? You found evidence? Haha!" "Still laughing! You don't sympathize with me at all!" "What's there to sympathize
with? I wasn't hurt." "
How could I not be hurt? So, did that time count as hurting you?"
"Not at all! I let you know about men's pleasure at such a young age, you should thank me!"
"Hmph—! You old scoundrel! So why don't you make me happy now?"
"If I make you happy, I won't be happy!"
"Why?"
"..." I didn't answer her.
"Since he went abroad, he rarely comes back and rarely contacts us. He didn't even tell us he got married; he got married secretly
! I've never even seen what his wife looks like!"
"Why did you leave here too?" After dinner, Fan Ying suddenly remembered what I had told her on the way.
"..." I didn't answer, falling into deep thought.
"I want to go with you..."
"I'm not a good man, don't be stubborn. I'm not leaving for you. There's a company over there
that wants to hire me. They wanted me to come two years ago, and I refused. Now they want to hire me again..."
"You really don't like me?"
"Not really!"
"Then why? I've waited for you all these years, given myself to you since I was eleven, for…"
"Alright! Don't think so much… You know, I have that problem, I can't change it." "
But… it's dangerous…"
"I know, that's why I want to work for a state-owned enterprise, so I can be on equal footing with the higher-ups, while private business owners will never
be able to hold their heads high. Also, there's another reason…"
"What?"
"I… I'm afraid of being changed by you!"
"Isn't that good?"
"But I don't want to change, I've always hated mature women! Ever since I was a child,
I've hated them! Yes! You can call it perverted! But this kind of perversion isn't something I can control!
I don't want to be like this! But I can't change! They forced me to! Those beasts who defy human ethics!
I hate their stench! I hate their black cunts! I feel disgusted just looking at those black cunts! They only deserve to
give me oral sex!"
"But, you know… I'm willing…" Fan Ying wasn't angered by my impassioned speech, nor did she
show any disgust; she even made this statement!
You little bitch! Are you trying to provoke me? Willing? Fine! I'll make you willing! The devil in my heart has resurfaced
!
I stepped onto the sofa!
Fan Ying leaned back, seemingly unfazed by the sudden action, just looking up at me as if
challenging her own words!
I unzipped my pants, pulled out my penis, and almost roughly shoved it into her mouth!
Fan Ying endured the initial deep thrusts, then let my penis move freely in her mouth,
this genuine oral sex… I fucked her for about ten minutes, then pulled out, sticky with fluid, and slapped her
face!
"Still willing?"
Fan Ying nodded!
Damn it! You little bitch! Even if you were willing, I wouldn't fuck you anymore.
"Go, make me a cup of tea!" I commanded.
"I… want to hear your story again." Fan Ying snuggled closer. I heard her cough a few times, lifted
her face, "It's okay!" she said. Then, she kissed me gently. "Silly boy! Some women, once they fall
for a man, will do whatever you want with them!"
I finally couldn't help but laugh. But deep down, I started to feel afraid: Could she really change me?
Was she really going to change me?
"Where were we?"
"..." Fan Ying and I both pondered for a moment, "...saw a hand retract..."
From then on, even in broad daylight, I dared not go into the house alone, and even less so at night, but Xiao Hong
wasn't afraid at all.
In those days, I didn't know the concept of incest. I only knew that Xiao Hong and her uncle did that kind of
thing, and I just treated it as a game, a rather interesting game. So, things like getting married
were just children's games to me.
But, not long after, I witnessed a wedding scene with my own eyes. A fourteen-year-old boy
and a twelve-year-old girl from the village got married. The scene was very formal, and relatives and neighbors all came to watch, praising, envying
, and commending them.
However, marriage is marriage, but without legal restrictions, it's at most equivalent to an engagement. After marriage, the girl is still
considered part of her maternal family, just now she's someone else's wife
. Generally, both families are quite close, and they've mutually approved the marriage. Some girls even move to their husband's family home after marriage.
Suddenly one evening, panic gripped the village. People were saying a girl had gone missing. They were talking about someone's
family, and I vaguely recognized her. There had indeed been a strong wind blowing all afternoon; some adults had
heard strange howls from the Black Wind Pass, and the children, their hearts pounding, echoed that they had heard it too. So, people, including
myself, believed the girl had been abducted by the mountain god.
People hurried through the streets, and women whispered among themselves, saying they had searched everywhere,
even the well. The girls all hid at home, too afraid to come out.
That night, I was too scared to sleep. I was constantly afraid of noises coming from under the eaves.
The hand that had retreated from the New Year's picture kept flashing through my mind, as well as the gnawed radish butt I found when I arrived… Even Xiao Hong, who was usually fearless
, was scared! That night, she whispered to me in bed, "Brother, marry me too. If you marry me, the mountain god
won't come to kidnap me anymore."
At that time, I didn't know if I liked her or not. Because Xiao Hong was my sister, I had to like her. Because Xiao Hong
was a little simple-minded, I didn't like her enough to want to marry her when I grew up. But Xiao Hong begged me like that, and as her older brother,
out of a desire to protect her, I agreed.
At that time, I didn't know that marrying a wife was for sex, and having sex with Xiao Hong was just for fun.
One day, I was playing in the street when my neighbor, an older woman, was working in front of her house. She saw me and asked me to help her carry
soil. She knew I was small and weak, so she let me carry a large load—I was just helping her lift the top of the carrying pole, but
even so, the older woman was very happy. Because without me, she couldn't have lifted it by herself.
This auntie, the same one who touched my testicles that time, was very kind to children.
I helped her carry it three times, and she gave me some taro. Back then, taro was a delicacy, something few
people could afford.
After that, I often helped her with chores, partly because I could get good food, and partly because I didn't have to go home. I was afraid
to be alone in the house unless my dad and Xiaohong were home.
The auntie also had two children, both daughters. I never met her husband, but the children said their father
worked as a carpenter for someone else.
Of course, this auntie was always like that, especially fond of touching my testicles. Whenever I sat down on her kang (heated brick bed),
she would jokingly touch them, sometimes even in front of her children. When the children were around, she would only touch
my testicles, not my penis. But when the children weren't around, she would touch my penis as well, saying, "It's so big?"
I felt embarrassed when she touched me until I got hard, but the aunt seemed particularly happy and teased me a few times, saying, "Your daughter-in
-law likes this, doesn't she?" I shyly avoided her hand.
Because the aunt liked me, her two daughters liked me too, so I often took Xiaohong to her house
to play. Especially at night, the production team was either busy with work in the yard or having meetings,
so the children were free. I was afraid to stay home, so I took Xiaohong to her house to play.
At first, the two girls didn't like Xiaohong, partly because she was a little simple-minded, but later they started to like
her because of me. And knowing that Xiaohong was my wife, they teased her.
If I had to pinpoint when my liking for girls started, I think it was around that time. The girls were very
pretty and spoke very cleverly, often saying things like adults.
One day I went over and happened to see the older sister, Cui'er, urinating in the yard. I stared, and Cui'er, because I saw
her urinating, ran to tell her mother that I was looking at her genitals. Her mother laughed and said, "So what if you looked!"
Since her mother said that, Cui'er wasn't afraid of me looking anymore.
One evening, Xiaohong, Cui'er, and I were playing on the kang (heated brick bed) at their house. Getting into the spirit
of the game, I suggested we have sex. The two sisters laughed and didn't object.
"You know how?" Cui'er asked. They both giggled. I said I did, and they laughed again. "You go first with Xiaohong,
" Cui'er said.
I looked at Xiaohong, who just grinned foolishly and didn't object.
I was smug! I took out my penis to show the three of them. Cui'er giggled, as if it was the first time she'd seen
a foreskin retracted!
I encouraged them, but they still insisted I go first with Xiaohong. I took off Xiaohong's underwear. Afraid they'd change their
minds, I said, "You guys take yours off too. If you have to, I'll go first with Xiaohong." The two sisters curiously took theirs off.
I lay on top of Xiaohong, and when they saw we were really having sex, they stopped laughing.
Then I went with Cui'er. Cui'er lay down, and I lay on top of her. Cui'er stared wide-eyed... Jing didn't speak, but I
just couldn't get it in.
At that age, all I knew was to lie down and stick my penis into her vagina, without even knowing how to look inside or use my hands
to guide it in! I thought I was sure I'd succeeded because I'd done it before, I knew the pleasure of penetration,
but after thrusting for ages, I still couldn't get in.
Cui'er was too scared to try. I was so discouraged! How come I succeeded with Fangfang? And with Xiaohong too?
Why couldn't I? It was so strange. "You don't have a vagina!" I said, and I really thought so at the time. If I
did, why couldn't I get it in? It's not like I've never done it before. "You don't..." Cui'er started to say, then changed her mind:
"Your mom doesn't have a vagina! Hehehehe." "If you don't, why can't I get it in?" "You and Xiaohong didn't get
it in either." Cui'er retorted. "I did get it in, ask Xiaohong?" I emphasized. "Xiaohong, did you get it in?" Cui'er
asked.
Xiaohong nodded. "I don't believe it, I didn't see it!" "Me neither," said Cui'er's younger sister. "If you don't
believe me, try again!" I lay back on top of Xiaohong, and after a few moments of fiddling, I felt penetration, which felt great. "Let me
see," said Cui'er. The two sisters came over to look, and when they saw the point of contact, they both laughed.
I told Cui'er's younger sister how to do it.
We lay together, and Cui'er's younger sister laughed incessantly from below. As I fiddled, the penetration suddenly
occurred, and at the same time, Cui'er's younger sister cried out, becoming increasingly agitated.
I got off her, and I was immediately terrified!
I saw bleeding!
Cui'er was also frightened and didn't know what to do. The play immediately became very uninteresting.
I led Xiaohong home, and on the way, Xiaohong said that she had bled for the first time too. Hearing this, I felt somewhat
comforted, but after all, I had caused her to bleed, and at the time I considered it a very serious accident. If I
had known there would be bleeding, I would never have done it!
Dad wasn't home yet. I followed Xiaohong inside. Xiaohong needed to pee, so I stood outside and waited for her to finish before we went
inside together. Just then, I heard a loud "thump!" from inside. My hair stood on end.
I asked Xiaohong if she heard it, and she said it was a mouse. I said no. Xiaohong went inside first. It was very dark inside, and
I followed behind her, afraid someone might be behind me. "Quick, find some matches!" I urged Xiaohong. Finally, I heard
a sound in Xiaohong's hand, and then the lamp lit. Xiaohong lit the kerosene lamp, and I quickly crawled onto the kang (heated brick bed). "Brother, why are you so timid
? Haha!" I was both scared and worried. What if Auntie found out? Auntie was so good to me!
I really regretted playing that game.
For several days, I didn't dare walk past Cui'er's house, afraid of running into Auntie. But I did.
"Come on, I'll give you something good to eat!" Auntie coaxed me. I was afraid she would use that to hit me, so I didn't dare. "Come on, there really
is something good," the auntie said with a smile.
She seemed unaware, or perhaps she knew but didn't care. She really did give me two taro roots; I wondered
where she got so many.
Cui'er and her sister weren't home, and the auntie didn't mention it. She called me to the kang (heated brick bed). I knew she liked to touch me; she
touched me almost every time. I let her touch me, it wasn't the first time anyway, and it felt quite nice. "See
if it's grown any bigger?" The auntie always found some flimsy excuse. Could it really grow bigger in just a few days?
I obediently let her touch me—no, I meant to play.
The auntie smiled as she watched my penis harden! Suddenly, she demanded, "Come on, lie on top of me." Her
voice sounded mysterious, not like she was joking. I was momentarily at a loss, stunned. "Listen to your auntie
, and I'll give you more good things to eat later," she said. It seemed I had no choice but to lie on her.
I did as she said.
I lay on her stomach like that, initially doing nothing, and she didn't ask me to do anything either. After a while,
the aunt said, "I'll give you milk, come on!" She pulled out two large breasts, which were quite startling. To be honest, at that
age I wasn't interested in breasts, only girls' genitals! The aunt smiled and told me to eat them, but
when I saw the two dark nipples, I couldn't bring myself to do it. "Come on—" The aunt pinched her breasts and made me suck on them. I did
, and actually sucked on them. The salty taste was strange, and I couldn't swallow it. I felt like vomiting, and the aunt laughed. "
Didn't you drink milk when you were little? It's delicious!" Even if it was delicious, I didn't eat it. I turned around and vomited on the floor. The aunt chuckled at me.
"Come on, stand up!" The aunt made me stand up on the bed, and then pulled out my penis. I couldn't even...
Unexpectedly, she put it in her mouth, sucked on it, and kept asking me, "Is it good?"
Afterwards, the aunt told me not to tell anyone when we went out.
The aunt's mysterious behavior frightened me. It's often like this: when children play sexual games, they don't feel
it's excessive! But when an adult does something to your genitals, it feels like a threat or molestation! But thinking about
how it felt when she sucked on my penis, I longed for it, especially since the aunt was smiling when she did it,
not like she was trying to hurt me.
I remember that at the time, Cui'er wasn't as old as Xiao Hong, only about ten years old, and her sister was only eight years old. After
that incident, Cui'er's sister was a little afraid of me, but because their mother still liked me, she
didn't dislike me, but I could tell she didn't like playing with me; she would hide whenever I approached her.
Actually, the one I truly liked was Cui'er. Cui'er was incredibly beautiful. At that age, I hadn't yet developed
an aesthetic sense about women; by "beautiful," I meant her face was pretty. Even I, a young boy, thought she was beautiful, which meant Cui'er
was indeed beautiful.
After the mountain god incident, several young couples in the village "got married." I heard that someone was going to
arrange a marriage for Cui'er, and it seemed like things were going well. Knowing this made me unhappy for the first time! That was the first time
I felt unhappy because I liked a girl.
My aunt often asked me about my background. By then, I had learned to lie,
to protect myself. I was afraid that if people found out, they would send me back to that hellhole! From my aunt, I also learned about Xiao Hong's
background.
My aunt said that Xiao Hong's parents were from the city, and Xiao Hong's father was apparently a university professor or something. I didn't know
what a professor was, only what a teacher was, so I guessed Xiao Hong's father was probably a university professor. According to my aunt,
Xiao Hong's parents were criticized and denounced, which I could understand; they were probably the same kind of people as my father in that family. Later, she was
sent back to the countryside to do manual labor, but she was frequently dragged to the city for criticism and struggle sessions. Later, according to the aunt, Xiaohong's mother returned to the city and
severed ties with her father—they got divorced! Xiaohong's father jumped into the river and died. Some villagers saw
shoes on the riverbank and concluded that he had been swept away by the river… The aunt even joked, "If you don't have a wife, I'll
give you Cui'er, haha, do you want her?" I said yes, and the aunt laughed, "Want her? Do you know what you need a wife for?"
I was bewildered. Later, after being teased by the aunt so much, I shamelessly answered, half-jokingly, "To sleep with!"
"Do you like Xiaohong or Cui'er?" "Cui'er!" I said shamelessly. When I said that, I really
felt a surge of heat in my heart and on my face, which meant that I really liked Cui'er! "Hehehe." The aunt
laughed and asked if I slept in the same bed with Xiaohong. I said yes, and asked how we slept.
I was too embarrassed to say, but I knew what she wanted to ask. Seeing my embarrassment, the aunt asked if I had been lying
on top of Xiaohong. I was still too embarrassed to answer, and the aunt understood. "Is it like this?" She pulled me close and
made me lie on top of her. Because I often joked around with the aunt, I was used to it. Lying on top of her was quite comfortable;
perhaps it awakened a subconscious longing for maternal love within me, and her full body made me feel warm.
But what happened next was not so normal. "Have you touched Xiaohong here?" The aunt took my hand and
put it inside her waistband.
I touched the pubic area and immediately felt disgusted. I immediately thought of my mother's dark genitals and
the scene of her urinating on me with her plump buttocks sticking out... I got off, feeling embarrassed. The aunt thought I was shy.
Half embarrassed and half annoyed, she said, "I gave you a wife, and you don't even know what to do!" Even with Xiaohong, I still
couldn't shake my masturbation habit. I felt they were two completely different realms: when masturbating, I could have endless imagination,
thinking about Cui'er and her sister; playing with Xiao Hong lacked that imaginative space, and Xiao Hong always said my penis was small.
Every time I entered Xiao Hong, she would obediently let me play, without making a sound. So I often found myself thinking about
the time with Cui'er's sister, when I entered her and she cried out. Although I was terrified at the time,
thinking about it later was exciting! That cry seemed like proof of my ability,
proof of a man (I was still a boy at the time)! It made me feel like she had really been fucked by me! But with Xiao Hong, it was just playing... Every time
I thought about that cry, I wanted to masturbate, and every time I masturbated, I imagined that cry and the blood.
But I still didn't understand one thing: when the aunt played with my genitals, she asked me several times, "Are you pregnant
yet?" I didn't know where pregnancy came from, but I realized it should be a man's thing, all men have
pregnancy! I heard this from the curses I heard in everyday conversations.
"The seed definitely comes from the penis, but I don't have one yet! I'm not a man yet!"
Suddenly one day after masturbating, a sticky substance came out of my urethra. I
rubbed it with my finger and it definitely wasn't urine. I felt terrified! I initially thought it was a consequence of my frequent masturbation, or 　　pus from an
internal infection ! 　　 That fear lingered in my mind for several days, and I didn't dare masturbate for days! 　　 A few days later, after playing with Xiaohong, she quietly told me, "Brother has a seed too!" I was 　　overjoyed; my little sister Xiaohong actually knew! "How did you know?" I asked. "Grandpa said so." "Dad... 　　has one too?" "Much more than yours!" Xiaohong always seemed a little silly when she said these things. 　　 I asked curiously, "When Dad does it, are you comfortable?" ("Comfortable" means comfortable). Xiaohong just smiled and didn't answer. I asked again, " 　　When you do it, is it more comfortable than when Dad does it?" Xiaohong said, "Yours is so small!" How annoying! At first, I didn't care much when Xiaohong said that 　　, but now I do. I feel it's much bigger and thicker than it was a year ago, and she still said mine was small! 　　It's so hurtful to my self-esteem! 　　 I feel like I'm turning bad! It seems like all I think about is fucking, and I feel my penis's ambition is increasing day by day! 　　 I started becoming the leader of the kids; they all listened to me, and of course, I was the one who got criticized the most at school. I remember that 　　among the seven or eight of us who often played together, only two didn't know how to masturbate, but 　　we taught them later. At that time, we started showing off the size of our genitals, and mine 　　was the ugliest. They would laugh as soon as they saw it because my glans was completely exposed. (When I grew up...)

Only then did I learn that there are two types of penises in adulthood: those with a glans and those without. Of course, the boy's interest wasn't limited to
his growing genitals; it also lay in his curiosity about the world. We often debated the existence of mountain gods
. The debate culminated in: who dared to go to Black Wind Pass!
After several weeks of discussion, we decided to go on an adventure. Only one of the eight of us was a coward
.
One day after school, we gathered together, prepared sickles and sticks, and secretly set off for Black Wind Pass!
The closer we got, the more terrified we became. Looking at the strangely shaped rocks of the pass, we all hesitated, even
the trees seemed oddly shaped. The wind grew stronger, and fearing we'd be sucked in, we held hands and moved forward. At that
moment, no one dared to back down; whoever did was a coward, and would lose face forever!
Looking back at the village, it was already far away. It seemed like the children of the mountains had never been so far from home before, and
our fear only intensified. Less than fifty meters from Black Wind Pass, no one dared to go any further.
Suddenly, I saw a figure flash by at the pass, and the others saw it too. Terrified, we turned and
ran back down the mountain in one breath. Looking back, the pass was far away, and we could hear the village loudspeaker broadcasting.
Only then did we sit down, laugh, and start discussing whether we had really seen it or not.
I said it was true, I saw it. The others might not believe me, but if I said so, everyone would. The others also
described it: long hair, a ghostly face! The more they talked, the scarier it became.
From then on, no one dared to mention going to Black Wind Pass again
!

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