【Cold River Snow】(Part Eight, Chapter Thirty-Four)

Thirty-four
. In the middle of the night, Aunt Luo woke me from bed. Outside, a rare downpour in Shanghai winters filled the air. A deafening argument
echoed from upstairs. My second aunt, her face ashen, stood guard at the top of the stairs, watching me. I groggily approached her. She glanced at
my disheveled appearance and coldly said, "Go upstairs, I'm waiting for you!"
I followed her slowly up the wooden stairs. The clattering footsteps couldn't mask
the argument upstairs. A sudden fear gripped me until I reached the door to the second-floor living room. My second aunt's contemptuous gaze pierced
my pride. The moment she grasped the doorknob, my heart calmed. For no apparent reason, I felt like
a blade of grass in a stormy field, unyielding to the winds, resolute and unwavering! I knew that this moment,
the true moment that would determine the future of my life, had finally arrived!
Suddenly, the noise subsided, and the room filled with smoke, obscuring my face.
Several sofas were arranged in a circle in the small living room. Besides my second uncle and Yanqiu, there was an
elderly man about the same age as my second uncle sitting there.
There was also a young woman, and the moment I saw her face, I froze! Liu Yueru!!!
My God, all the mental defenses I thought I had built up crumbled instantly! Liu Yueru, I had completely
forgotten about her!!!
Four faces were staring at me. But I stared intently at Liu Yueru. This was the first time I had seen
her so vividly, the first time this woman had appeared so lively before my eyes. What was I compared to her? It seemed that
she was the real deal, and I was the bad woman who had ruined the relationship!
I felt utterly ashamed!
Yanqiu stood up and walked to my side. He took my hand and gestured for me to sit down. I didn't move. My second uncle
stared intently at me, his brows furrowed into a deep frown. He stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray. She exhaled
a puff of smoke and said, "Xiao Han, sit down, let's have a good talk."
Yanqiu pulled me again, but I still didn't move. My lower limbs were numb; I dared not move, afraid that if I did,
that protective layer I had created would truly shatter.
My second aunt came over and pulled me to sit on an empty sofa. She pressed me into the sofa: "Xiao Han,
sit properly and listen to what the elders have to say!"
"Xiao Han, don't be nervous, there are no outsiders here, and Uncle Liu is your grandfather's old comrade-in-arms!"
I turned to look at the unfamiliar old man in surprise. He was also surnamed Liu? So that meant he was Liu Yueru's father
?
The old man nodded at me, not indifferently, but seemingly quite angry.
My second uncle's deep voice roared in my ears like muffled thunder. I ignored my fear and focused all
my attention on listening to my second uncle's words. I was waiting for my judgment.
Yanqiu leaned against the bookshelf, listening to his second uncle's voice. He didn't speak, but turned to look at me. His second uncle's
sharp gaze swept fiercely across Yanqiu's face, but Yanqiu was completely oblivious, only focused on looking at me affectionately.
My face flushed instantly, because it wasn't just Yanqiu looking at me; Uncle Liu was also staring at me,
and Liu Yueru's gaze hadn't left my face since I entered the room!
"Sigh!" His second uncle sighed deeply, then turned to me and said, "Xiao Han, this is a new era
. We're old now, and we can't act like feudal patriarchs. I'd like to ask for your opinion
. Think about it."
I nodded subconsciously, looking very eager, without even realizing it myself.
"It's like this, I plan to have Yanqiu return to Shanghai to work. It's a rare opportunity."
My second uncle paused here, and seeing my reaction, I knew there was more to come. I remained silent,
a sharp, fierce glint flashing in his glasses before quickly turning into a bright expression, seemingly with a hint of appreciation for me.
"To tell you the truth, the country built a large steel plant in Shanghai a couple of years ago. They're still
short-staffed, and I'm considering having Yanqiu work there. As for you, I'll put you in the military's cultural troupe."
"What about the child?" I immediately asked, sensing something was wrong.
"I'll raise her!" Liu Yueru blurted out. "I don't care about your affair with Yanqiu. I
'll raise your child as my own, on the condition that you leave Yanqiu and don't bother us again!"
I stood up abruptly. "I can leave Yanqiu, but Shaoqiu is my child, and I'm taking her with me!"
"Yanqiu, what do you say?" My second uncle didn't get angry at my words. He turned to Yanqiu and asked again,
"I'll ask you one more time. This is the last time. Don't regret your choice.
You walk your own path in life. Once you've chosen a path, there's no turning back!"
Yanqiu lowered her arms, walked from the bookshelf to my side, sat down, and took my hand. "Uncle,
I want to take responsibility for her!"
My second uncle stopped talking, closed his eyes, leaned back on the sofa, and sighed heavily again.
"Slap!" Liu Yueru stood up and rushed towards Yanqiu, slapping him hard across the face. "Chen
Yanqiu, you're good, you're very good. This slap is me repaying your kindness. From now on, we're even. Don't
let me see you again in this life, or you'll regret it!"
Liu Yueru slammed the door open and then shut it heavily. She rushed out like the wind.
I could faintly hear her crying, heart-wrenching cries.
Uncle Liu stood up with a livid face, silently took his coat and hat from the hanger, and as he turned to grasp the doorknob,
said to Second Uncle, "Old Chen, let's consider our relationship over!"
With that, he shook his head, closed the door, and left.
Second Uncle didn't say a word from beginning to end; the atmosphere in the living room was chillingly oppressive. Just
when I thought my second uncle was asleep, he was still leaning against the sofa when he suddenly said softly, "You should all
go back tomorrow too."
Thirty-five: The day my father and mother were buried was the twenty-fifth day of the twelfth lunar month. Snow fell heavily, and the biting wind whipped
snowflakes into our bodies. Yanqiu held her parents' urns, and I held the child. When our boat
stopped at the Xiafang ferry, Chen Daya, now the village secretary, led a group of relatives from the Han and Fang families to the ferry.
Their expressions were sorrowful, but they didn't show any hatred or resentment towards us. Yanqiu and I, who had been very anxious...
A sense of relief washed over me.
The Fang family's patriarch, Tianluo, stepped forward, his body slightly bent, and said, "Qiulin and Lianzhen both died violent deaths. This is their
karmic debt from a past life, which they have now repaid. Our two families have argued and even fought; it's better to resolve enmity than
to perpetuate it. That's why we've come together today for their funeral. However, since they died unjustly, our clan has decided not to
wear mourning clothes for them. You, their children, should fulfill your filial duties. Because of their unjust deaths, they may not be allowed
to be buried in the ancestral graveyard. So, Old Han and I have discussed burying them at the foot of Fangshan Mountain. What do you think
?"
Yanqiu nodded. I didn't speak. This was for the best. After a lifetime of grudges and resentments, my parents probably didn't want to
be huddled with the clan members, listening to gossip. So I just looked at Yanqiu; his nod meant I agreed.
A rowing boat led the way, followed by a string of covered boats. Upon arriving at the gravesite, the village's blind old man, Chunxue, pretended
to examine it with a compass, circling it several times before selecting a spot. He then boasted about how wonderful the place was,
how excellent its feng shui was. I didn't care to listen to his rambling. The villagers dug the pit, leveled the bottom, and paved the ground with blue bricks.
Following the old blind man's instructions, I placed my parents' ashes. Watching the urn being buried little by little by the soil,
my heart ached more and more. At that moment, all the panic and turmoil subsided. I truly realized that
my parents and I were now forever separated. My tears started slowly, then surged forth,
immersing me in endless sorrow and grief.
I cried for a long, long time in front of my parents' new grave, an indescribable sadness mixed with anxiety about the future and
guilt for ruining Yanqiu's future. All these emotions buried me in sorrow.
Yanqiu didn't try to comfort me; he just held me tightly, letting me vent my pain without restraint.
On the way back to the village, the north wind whipped up waves on Dripping Lake. The snow had stopped, and a warm ray of sunshine shone on
the lake's surface. My heart was warmed by this bright scene. Looking up, I saw Chen Daya fawning
over Yanqiu, pretending to offer him a cigarette. Yanqiu smiled and took one out of his pocket first, offering it to Chen Daya. Chen Daya
accepted it with a look of trepidation, hurriedly replying, "Thank you, Secretary Chen! Thank you, Secretary Chen!"
Our return to our hometown to bury our parents was so convenient; perhaps the villagers had heard some rumors!
Yes, my second uncle had tacitly approved of Yanqiu's decision to be with me. Yanqiu had been transferred from the city to Fangwan as the secretary.
I don't understand officialdom, but I know one thing: there are no secrets in officialdom. Sure enough, before Yanqiu even took office, Chen Daya
was already eager to curry favor with him. It's ridiculous, isn't it!
But it was also because of Yanqiu's new position that my burial of my parents went so smoothly. Thinking about it, I
felt both admiration and guilt for my second uncle's thoughtfulness. My second uncle, though strict, was an old man who doted on his children.
Five days until the New Year, the lake under the setting sun appeared calm and undisturbed. The waves were large, yet they brought me peace
.
Having traveled a long way, I've returned. The trajectory of fate seems predetermined. I
left Fangwan, not far from home, but six years have passed. Six years have seen me lose
and regain my lover, and witness my parents' divorce and their tragic deaths. So many things have happened; looking back, it feels like half a
lifetime has been spent. So tortuous and vicissitudinous. Yet, unexpectedly, after going through such
a long and winding journey, I've returned to where I started. Is this what I wanted, or what I dislike? I can't figure it out
; it's simply indescribable!
So, since I can't figure it out, I'll simply stop thinking about it! Goodbye to this turbulent and chaotic 1983;
I will greet the new life of 1984 with a full heart. I'm going to write a new chapter in my life—
a new life with Yanqiu! And of course, our child, our lovely Shaoqiu!
(Part One, The End)

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【Cold River Snow】(Part Eight, Chapter Thirty-Four)

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