The good experience of extramarital sex

"It wasn't until I had extramarital sex that I knew what true ecstasy meant."
Question: Hello, what I want to tell you today might be embarrassing, and many people might criticize me, but I still want to say it. I am 43 years old, a PhD, living a comfortable life, and a middle manager in a company. My husband works in the same company as me and is one year older than me. What I want to say is that our sex life has always been disharmonious, from our wedding night until now, more than ten years later, we haven't had a single harmonious one. The main reason is that he is extremely chauvinistic. During sex, he only cares about his own pleasure and then falls asleep immediately, without any foreplay, and doesn't care if I'm in pain or angry. Moreover, it's gotten worse over time; he's probably a bit impotent, but even so, he still does what he wants and doesn't consider me. No matter how short the time is, he falls asleep immediately afterward without any embarrassment. I'm speechless. It's not that I haven't tried to communicate with him, but it's useless. He's the kind of bookworm who only studies and has no sense of romance. As for divorce, I can't bear to. He is also a loving father, a good son-in-law, a good colleague, and an honest man in other people's eyes. If I don't want a divorce, I hate every long night with him by my side.

Having given this background, you should have some sympathy for me having an affair with a man my own age, right? He's a member of my car club; we drive the same brand of car, added each other as friends in the group, and got along very well, so I cheated on him. To be honest, it's embarrassing to say, but being with him made me understand what "ecstasy" truly means. Our sex life was incredibly compatible. However, after a year together, we've had our conflicts—he wants me to divorce my wife and marry him. I don't want to—because, to put it nicely, he's a salesman, but he's practically unemployed. And he has a good-for-nothing son who, after graduating from vocational school, does nothing but play video games. How could I possibly marry someone like that? But that's my rational thinking. Women aren't actually that rational; they're more emotional. To be honest, he's been very good to me, providing not only high sexual value but also high emotional value. I think to myself, I'm already 43; how many more good years do I have left? He treats me well, satisfies my sexual needs, and lets me experience the happiness of being a woman every day. Isn't that enough reason for me to divorce my husband and pursue happiness with him? Besides, my relationship with my husband isn't good either, and I'm really upset right now. Should I agree to divorce him and stay with him? What should I do now?

------Separation Line-------

Answer: "After explaining the above background, you should have some sympathy for me having an affair with a man my own age, right?" What? I'm truly stunned! Infidelity is nothing new to me. I'm just wondering, why should I sympathize with you? You cheat and you want people to sympathize with you? A PhD student? No matter how high-sounding your reasons are, infidelity is infidelity! If you were dissatisfied with your sex life from the beginning, why get married? Why not cut your losses in time? After more than ten years, you use disharmony in your sex life and your husband's male chauvinism as reasons for cheating? And you want people to sympathize with you? How can you be so shameless! You call yourself a PhD student? Do you even know how to write the word "ugly"? You should divorce your husband and leave him alone, really. Don't hesitate. Go with whoever can give you the best sex. You're financially capable, so having a younger man isn't a bad option, especially since you're incredibly sexually frustrated right now!

We often say that sex is as important as eating, and I admit it's important. But no matter how important it is, it's only one part of life; sex can't fill an empty stomach. There are so many other things to do besides sex. Of course, it's a bit tragic for you, considering you've lived most of your life and only now are you experiencing the wonder of sex through this unconventional means. If you're willing to give up your current family and marry a man who, aside from sex, is far inferior to your current husband, I think you should think twice.

First, marrying him might bring you a wonderful experience for a while, but you should know that a man's sexual interest in a woman varies depending on the circumstances. He might provide a perfect sexual experience now, making you feel like you're in heaven, but after marriage, he might not maintain that level. Otherwise, why do you think so many men cheat on their wives for sex? Second, you say he can provide you with high emotional value, which is also very uncertain. Because you're in this relationship now, and he wants you to divorce your spouse and be with him, he must be responsive to your needs and provide emotional value; otherwise, he can't achieve his goal. But whether this will continue after marriage is questionable. Third, you know he lacks responsibility, is unemployed, and has a son who is just as aimless. Are you sure you won't be dragged down by him? Another point you haven't mentioned is whether he has a wife. Regardless, he knows about your affair, even though the other woman is him. But if you actually get together, won't he develop a distrust of you? After all, if you can betray your husband today, he can't help but wonder if you'll betray him tomorrow. He doesn't care why you cheated.

Based on these issues, I've decided that if you're only considering divorce for sex, you should think it through. Aside from sex, your husband isn't lacking in any other aspect. You found him among many, and in terms of education, looks, age, income, social status, and compatibility, he's over 90%. Even if your lover is great, it's still your insatiable choice. Regardless of their social standing, income, or family background, they're not the right person for you. Besides, even if you want better sex, even if you insist on divorce, there's no need to rush into marrying that man. Being single, you can date whoever you want. Isn't it better to date whoever treats you well? Why tie yourself to another man you don't even like?

[The End]

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The good experience of extramarital sex

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