[Incest Essays]

I think no nickname suits me better than "pervert." I started masturbating while I was still in my mother's womb
. You might think this is just a fantasy, but it's not. If you're still developing in your womb and
constantly being hit by a penis, and you're powerless to resist, then naturally, you'll only
be able to vent your anger with your own penis.
After I was born, like all babies—the first thing I did after leaving my mother's body was to find
a woman's nipple. I used this method to get revenge on my lustful father. I took over what originally belonged
to him. But he was helpless.
According to eyewitnesses at the time, "My birth only proved one thing—humans definitely evolved from apes
, and this is vividly demonstrated in me. I have an astonishing amount of hair, densely covering my entire body
, especially my head hair, which is black and thick, almost longer than my body. According to traditional Chinese
beliefs, a man with long, shiny black hair is either a rogue or an artist
. I was fortunate enough to possess these two 'elegant' titles.
Gradually, from age one to seven, my consciousness began to mature exponentially.
I began to deeply understand my family, and I discovered that compared to other families, ours was more like an
American family. Although we lived in a poor mountain village, a sense of democracy and freedom
always permeated our surroundings. This was manifested in the fact that regardless of gender, age, status, or social standing, people addressed each other freely
.
For example, my grandmother would call me..." "Little brat," my dad called my grandma "Old hag," and my mom called him
"You thousand-times-cutter" during the day, but changed her name to "Beast" at night.
I always wondered why my mom called him that, since my dad didn't look anything like the animals we kept at home
. Later, when I was woken up by the urge to pee a few times at night, I started to
understand.
Several times in the morning, I was woken up by the urge to pee, and when I got out of bed to relieve myself, I heard
strange noises coming from my parents' room. At first, I didn't pay attention, but after hearing it so many times, I
became very curious. Finally, one day, I secretly lifted the curtain to see what they were doing.
After lifting the curtain, the first thing I saw was two naked bodies, covered in sweat.
However, their genitals were tightly connected. My mom was kneeling on the kang (a heated brick bed), her breasts swaying below her body
. She kept muttering, "You old beast, aren't you done yet?" All you do all day is this,
night and morning, I don't know where you get all that energy. Dad didn't say a word, just knelt behind her
, his body still thrusting. He kept moaning.
I understood why Mom called Dad a beast, because the big spotted dog in the yard and the female
dog at the east end of the village mated in the same position, quite similar to Dad's. And when they finished
, some white stuff would flow onto the female's buttocks.
Later, when I experienced this sensation, I understood that Dad's calf-like madness belonged
to what the famous poem described—"Heaven has endowed me with talents, which must be put to use; though a thousand 'essences' are scattered, they will return."
And so, I spent my childhood watching my parents' lovemaking. That year, Dad was 30
years old. He had his own offspring—that is, me—and would continue to own that legal land. This land
had nice scenery but wasn't very fertile. He
toiled in the fields day and night, tirelessly, year-round, regardless of time or place. But extensive planting inevitably leads to meager harvests, and no matter how hard my father tried, he couldn't produce a younger sibling
.
Finally, it was time for me to start elementary school. Because my family was relatively well-off in the village,
my father sent me to the elementary school in the county town. The village chief's son, Li Ming, went with me. That
was his formal name, but I never called him that, just as he never called me by my formal name. He only called
me "Monkey," simply because my fur was quite thick and resembled some legendary animal. I also called
him "Ah Huang" because his hair was somewhat yellowish. Many dogs in the village were also
called that by that name.
He was someone I never won at marbles. But this slow-witted fellow
was actually more popular with the teachers in the county town than I was. I knew that someone like me, who only knew how to fight and
lift girls' skirts all day, could never be favored by the teachers. But I still couldn't stand that Ah Huang was more
popular than me, even more recently joining the Young Pioneers. So later I always thought that the bright red
thing around my neck was only useful for wiping my nose.
Xiao Lan was my first female friend, or rather, the object of my threats.
Simply because she was the cutest in the class, at least that's what I thought. By
the standards of beauty in our time, a girl with two long, black braids, big eyes, and double eyelids
was basically considered a beauty queen. So I used my fists to forcefully
switch seats with a bespectacled, pretentious jerk when the teacher was assigning seats.
I don't know if this seat change was lucky or unlucky for Xiao Lan. Although she was no longer
harassed by other boys, she was constantly harassed by me. I was always curious about what my parents did at night.
I always wanted to try it with Xiaolan.
After being rejected by Xiaolan for the ten thousandth time, on the ten thousand and first time, I finally succeeded. Xiaolan
took off her pants. I carefully examined her genitals to see what the difference was between her and mine. Her undeveloped naked body
didn't hold much attraction for me. Later, I simply took off my own to make a detailed comparison. After comparing
for a long time, apart from her having a hole while I didn't, I couldn't see any other difference.
I then forced her to kneel in front of me and, from behind, imitated my parents' movements, thrusting back and forth. But
I didn't feel that strange feeling. Even when I forced Xiaolan to call me an animal like my mother did...
I didn't have it then. But years later, I regretted my slow development, which prevented me from losing
my virginity at the age
of eight. As I grew older, I learned more. I heard things about relationships between men and women from the village
aunts and uncles, and understood it was a shameful thing. Although I was
disgusted by these rumors, I restrained myself for the sake of my image.
Until I graduated from elementary school, I simply couldn't continue. I'd rather talk to our big dog than face
my homeroom teacher's wrinkled old face. Even after a beating from my father, I
didn't give in. Perhaps I was born to be a prostitute. I've always been unyielding to my enemies
.
My father finally gave up and let me idle at home. By then, my father
had his own small company and simply moved our whole family to the county town. When I left, Ah Huang came to see me off,
looking rather reluctant. But I knew he was after my pile of colorful marbles.
I asked him to let me use his red scarf to blow my nose first. Although he was reluctant, he agreed. That was
the most satisfying nose-blowing I'd ever had in my life. I didn't give the scarf back until my nose was completely red.
But I still didn't give him my marbles. I threw them all into the paddy field, letting Ah Huang find them one by one
. I knew there were a lot of leeches in that paddy field.
After arriving in the county town, I spent another six months wandering around at home. These six months were the happiest time of my life. I
could sleep until noon every day, which made me feel like the most carefree
child in the world.
Actually, my life was quite regular. At least that's what I thought. Every day after getting up,
I would eat a few bites of food, then go to the yard outside to chat with some children who collected scraps. If I encountered
someone rude to us, I'd curse at them and leave if they were older than me, and give them a good beating without hesitation if they were younger
. So I felt my body was well-trained. That's
much better than those idiots who spend a fortune at those crappy gyms.
Unfortunately, my carefree life didn't last long. My dad started pressuring me to go back to school again.
This time I resisted even more fiercely, but I still failed. The reason was simple: if I
didn't go to school, I'd have to help out at my dad's small company. School was better;
at least there were people my age whom I could bully. But at the company, it was
all adults, and I probably couldn't beat any of them. It was a place that would absolutely drive me crazy.
The school I attended only had a few hundred students, and it was supposedly the worst school in the county. There was no
way around it; my father's resources were limited. Ensuring my continued education was already beyond his capabilities, so he
had no choice but to accept the choice of school.
This school was quite a miracle. Ten years later, almost half of the notorious hooligans
and prostitutes in the county came from this school. When I first arrived, I was assigned to the last
row of the classroom. Looking out, all I could see was a sea of black heads. I had to
stand to barely see the blackboard. Actually, I didn't really care whether I could see the blackboard or not. That dark
thing held no appeal for me.
I spent my primary school years staring at everyone's heads. But the fact that someone like me could
successfully pass the entrance exam for middle school truly made my semi-literate father beam with joy. Several times
I wanted to tell him that in middle school, the whole class went together, even if your combined scores in four subjects weren't even four points
. However, seeing how happy my dad was, I really didn't want to dampen his enthusiasm. In that respect
, I'm quite filial, aren't I?
After entering middle school, my height and physique grew like a balloon being inflated. With physical
development, my thoughts also began to stir. I slowly started to become interested in girls' bodies. However,
I never did what I did to Xiaolan in elementary school. It wasn't that I didn't want to, it's just that none of
the girls in my class were interested in me. Actually, every time I looked in the mirror, I felt I was still quite handsome, so why
couldn't I win the favor of girls? I still haven't found the answer to this question.
Unable to find the answer in girls, I turned my attention to my parents. Unfortunately, since the whole family moved to the county
town, my dad seemed to be getting busier and busier, and my mom rarely cursed him as a beast.
But my sexual desire didn't disappear because of their temporary cessation. On the contrary, it
became even more intense.
Until one night, in the middle of the night, when I went to the bathroom, I found my mom wearing her pajamas. She
wasn't particularly attractive, but her advantage lay in her revealing clothing, and I was in the throes of a sexually stimulating adolescence. However,
I can assure Chairman Mao that I never harbored any impure thoughts towards my mother before. It was just that she was dressed
so scantily, which left me with no choice.
I remember some idiot posing as a philosopher once said that compared to beasts, men only have two
qualities worthy of respect: intelligence and kindness. In that sense, I was a "beast,"
or more profoundly, comparing myself to a beast is an insult to beasts.
Anyway, that night, I did everything a beast could do. My mother's frail body couldn't withstand my
brutal invasion. But when I first inserted my penis, I embarrassingly ejaculated prematurely.
I don't know if this indomitable spirit was inherited from my father or mother. Anyway, my first
premature ejaculation didn't stop me from trying again. Perhaps this spirit was a tragedy for my mother. She
was "beastly" by me once more.
The second experience was perfect. Just as Lei Man said, every time I do the same thing, it
has to be more perfect than the last. I perfectly possessed my mother again. I'm such a bold and damn
shameless person, I was even calm during my first wet dream. I didn't even care that I wasn't wearing underwear.
I changed it, using the heat of my virginity to dry it, and wore it for another week before taking it off and throwing it in the washing machine.
The second time I inserted my penis into my mother's body, she had completely stopped resisting. When a prostitute
has her first client, she's shy, she's hesitant, she's anxious, she's heartbroken. But when a prostitute
does it a second time, nothing seems to matter anymore. "A dead pig isn't afraid of boiling water." That's what they say about
prostitutes, and it's also about my mother.
The amount of semen I ejaculated during sex with my mother was enormous; I couldn't find a suitable word to
describe it until I watched a movie called "Zhou XX" and it dawned on me. In the fashionable language of that movie,
it was like—"It was fucking like a torrent of water, endless and unstoppable, like the Yellow River overflowing its banks."
Since that experience, my relationship with my mother has become more casual. I no longer rely on
my fingers to solve my personal needs. I can finally rely on my own mother. I
was doing the earliest human actions with her anytime, anywhere. My technique was as skilled as an eighth-grade fitter.
Walking around school then, I saw all those clueless idiots and thought they were childish, just
little kids. Of course, I myself had been promoted to the level of a man.
I don't know who said "extreme joy begets sorrow," but if I find out who said that, my first action
will be to smash their balls.
It was a stormy night. To be honest, whenever I start with this phrase, I can't
help but think of my composition class; this opening line has become a classic in my essays. Unfortunately,
our near-death old scholar never realized the brilliance of this phrase, a regret I'll carry for life.
That night, Dad didn't come home as usual, and I, as usual, went to Mom's bed. After so many times of us
being the oppressor and the oppressed, Mom was already used to my shamelessness. She naturally took off her clothes, and I naturally
straddled her.
Doing things in the rain is fucking awesome. My penis had barely been inside my mom's hole a few times when I roared
and ejaculated. I was extremely dissatisfied with my performance and planned to rest for a while before continuing.
But why did this damned heaven have to make such a loud noise? My mom and I didn't even hear my dad open
the door. How can I describe the expression on my dad's face when he saw us in bed?
Actually, women are most afraid of two types of men—the repressed pervert and the beastly type. The repressed pervert makes other men dislike him, and
the beastly type makes other women dislike him. When a repressed pervert and a beastly type argue, the result is inevitable
. But what if two beastly types meet? Well, to borrow an old saying—when two strong forces meet, the brave one wins.
That's what happened to my dad and me. In terms of bravery, he was no match for me. In the end, my dad
protested my victory by disappearing forever.
I don't have much affection for my dad. Apart from the time he vented on my mom
, he left no other deep impression on me. However, without his financial support, our
lives became quite difficult. This situation only eased after I truly became successful.
Even now, I'm still unmarried. Of course, I'm not lacking in women. I've maintained this abnormal relationship with my mother, and I don't know how it will end. But I'm already 　　content with
having started , aren't I 　　 ?

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