[Chaos and Cruelty] (Part 5)

(V)
That afternoon, our task was to spray pesticides on the cotton. During the break, a classmate of mine from the agricultural school,
nicknamed Ga Liuzi, came over and whispered in my ear, "The female educated youth have dried apricots drying on their windowsill.
Shall we go steal them?"
As I hesitated, Lai Yu, who had also been in the same class, walked by and urged me softly, "Come on, hurry up!"
Ga Liuzi came from a poor peasant family, and his grandfather was a martyr, but because he was dishonest, he couldn't join the Red Guards. Lai Yu , on the other hand,
not only had impeccable revolutionary credentials but was also the most capable henchman of the "Invincible" Wei Xiaoguang. With the two of them
joining, what was there for me to fear? So I resolutely ran off with them.
Our production brigade had built houses specifically for the educated youth, two buildings side by side. The eastern one was the dormitory for the male educated youth, and the western one
was the dormitory for the female educated youth. Each had its own courtyard wall, forming two independent small courtyards. These two small courtyards were not in the village,
but on the edge of the village near the river embankment, not far from the cotton field where we were working. On the front wall of the house, I
had already noticed the strings of pink dried apricots hanging from the ceiling. It's worth noting that
while apricots are grown locally, we don't have the custom of making dried apricots, nor do we know how. The dried apricots in the educated youth's courtyard were
a skill brought by the educated youth from somewhere.
Actually, I've never liked dried apricots, but I still enjoyed stealing them with others, just like stealing
watermelons from the production team, because it was exciting and challenging.
The female educated youth's courtyard was on the west side, closer to us, so we chose it. We quietly climbed over the wall,
each onto a windowsill, to pick the high-hanging, still-drying dried apricots. I chose the easternmost
windowsill, and just as I was about to reach out, a sharp, piercing scream suddenly came from the toilet on the west side of the house—
a long, drawn-out "Ah!"—startling us all. We thought, "This is afternoon work time;
there shouldn't be any educated youth in the courtyard. How come there's someone in the toilet?"
Without thinking twice, all three of us jumped off the windowsill and ran away. As I was getting off, I kicked down a
women's shoe that was drying on the windowsill. I instinctively bent down and picked it up. It was a small, pretty white tennis
shoe, not a big size. Because it hadn't been washed after work, the sides of the sole were
soaked with sweat, turning a faint yellow. Holding it in my hand, I stared
at it like a magnet, my consciousness momentarily blurring. When I regained my composure and looked again, I saw that there were
unwashed socks stuffed inside the shoe. I froze again. I could almost smell
the woman's feet emanating from the shoe and socks. At that moment, something seemed to fill my brain;
I forgot to run away. I gripped the shoe, staring intently at it, and involuntarily raised my hand holding it
…
Just as I was about to bring it to my mouth, a scream of "Ouch!" came from afar. It turned out
that while climbing over the wall, his trousers had gotten caught on a branch, tearing them. He had fallen, but landed
in the yard instead of outside.
I was jolted awake from a dream. I quickly put the shoe down, ignoring it, and leaped over the wall and ran away
.
Unfortunately, we were denounced.
What awaited us, as everyone could imagine, was a denunciation meeting.
The meeting was scheduled for the following evening after dinner, in the educated youth compound. But for some reason, although
three people stole the dried apricots, only Ga Liuzi and I were criticized. Perhaps Lai Yu ran away quickly and wasn't
seen by the female educated youth, or perhaps he was the "invincible" backbone member, because he wasn't punished. It wasn't just the educated youth who participated in the criticism; because the female educated youth belonged to the Iron Girls Team, 　　some young female members of the village
also participated . 　　 Because I was being criticized along with Ga Liuzi, the meeting wasn't serious at all. Ga Liuzi was a long-time troublemaker 　　and extremely improper towards women, which meant that this boy from a poor peasant family had been criticized even 　　more times than me. And because of the frequency of criticism, this notoriously bad boy, known only as Ga Liuzi, wasn't particularly 　　afraid of the criticism sessions. 　　 "Oh, sister! Dear sister! I didn't see anything. I wanted to eat some dried apricots but couldn't reach them. My thigh is scratched and 　　bleeding, and my pants are torn. Stop messing with me. It's tiring to keep bending over like this." I bent over, and he bent over too, 　　but neither of us was tied up. 　　 "Want some dried apricots? Come on, lie down there and eat this." The speaker wasn't a sent-down youth, but 　　the leader of the Iron Girls Team, Lin Lang, who was also my classmate in the rural middle school. This Lin Lang was no ordinary girl; she was 　　the daughter of Lin Dake, the "Invincible" Commander-in-Chief. Like father, like son. Although she was not yet eighteen, she 　　was already a member of the commune's "three-in-one" organization. 　　 I bent over, secretly glancing at where Lin Lang was speaking, and saw at her feet 　　something she had chewed and spat out. Not only that, but she wasn't satisfied and stomped on it, making it sticky and really like 　　a pancake stuck to the sole of her foot. 　　 "I'll eat it, consider it atonement, please stop the struggle session," Ga Liuzi said, showing no fear whatsoever, and 　　actually knelt at Lin Lang's feet. 　　 Lin Lang stomped her foot, which was covered in dried apricots, onto Ga Liuzi's face and cursed, "Go to hell, behave yourself 　　, eat properly, and then we'll continue the struggle session." 　　 Ga Liuzi was actually quite handsome; in the commune where I was sent down, if I was the most handsome man, 　　he was definitely second. But because of his good family background, despite being frequently struggled against, he didn't receive more severe punishment. 　　At this moment, he obediently knelt, holding Lin Lang's foot in his hands, and put his mouth to the sole of her shoe, 　　eating the dirty stuff. 　　 I couldn't compare to him, and I didn't dare to be as sarcastic as him. It was only because of Ga Liuzi's mischief that the 　　struggle session wasn't so terrifying. But since I was often involved in stealing melons or fighting, the Iron Girls 　　showed no mercy in their struggle sessions against me. A female educated youth wearing a belt approached me, grabbed my ear, 　　and pulled my face to the side, facing her. "Lu Xiaobei, tell me, why did you steal my shoes? Were you 　　taking them home for your mother?"

What I feared most was her mentioning this, so I quickly shook my head vigorously, "Don't say... it fell on the ground, I wanted to pick it up
..."
Before I could finish, she raised her hand and slapped me across the face, "Bullshit! Pick it up? Humph! If you picked it up
, why did you hold it in your hand for so long? Tell me, were you planning to steal it to take home for your mother's worn-out shoes?"
"No, no, sister, don't talk about this..."
The female educated youth leader walked over, "Don't talk about which? Lu Xiaobei, you better behave yourself, and I'll
let you off if you confess properly. Tell me, why did you steal the shoes?"
"I...I...really didn't..."
Just then, probably because Ga Liuzi had made a fool of herself, a group of female educated youth burst into laughter.
Thank goodness! This blunder I didn't know about saved me. The educated youth leader didn't press the matter further and actually
left me to go to Ga Liuzi's side.
"Lu Xiaobei, what do you want to eat?" It was that same educated youth with the military belt, grabbing my chin with one hand as
she asked. Her breath hit my face less than half a foot away, and I felt a surge of heat coursing through my
body. I stared at her, secretly inhaling her scent and the aroma emanating from her body,
not afraid.
"What are you looking at? You're being naughty! Open your mouth!" With her command, her small, chubby hand pinched my mouth into
an "O" shape. Then she turned her face, almost mouth to mouth, and
spat into my mouth, a spray of saliva flying onto my lips and face.
"Eat it! You unruly little brat." She commanded, then pressed her hand back together with my lips. Perhaps
some saliva from my lips got on her hand, because she rubbed her hand on my face a few times.
"Sister Lin Lang, it's delicious, so delicious!" He kept spouting nonsense, having fed Ga Liuzi something else
. His words were exactly what I wanted to say but dared not utter. Truly,
the saliva that the female educated youth spat into my mouth tasted as sweet as nectar. Saliva itself has no taste, but some people
would feel nauseous after eating it. However, I felt no nausea at all after tasting that beautiful woman's saliva. On the contrary,
it was like tasting nectar, making me temporarily forget my current situation, forget the potential political repercussions
, and forget the teasing and beatings from these female militia members. I couldn't tell whether I was being persecuted or enjoying
myself. My whole body trembled with excitement.
Reality is always so full of contradictions. Soon, I was back in the cruel reality. I heard the educated youth squad leader give
an order: "No, these two rascals aren't behaving themselves. We have to tie them up."
With those words, two female militiamen carrying rifles twisted my arms behind my back, one on each side.
A rope was draped around my neck, wrapped around my arms several times through my armpits, and finally met at my wrists,
binding them tightly. Then the remaining rope was passed up through the rope at my shins and pulled down, then tied tightly again.
"Slap..." Just as I was tied up, I received a slap across the face. "You filthy scoundrel, you fourth-class bastard, peeping at female
educated youths using the toilet! You have some nerve! Tell me, how many times has this happened?" The one
who hit me was Lin Lang, who had just beaten Ga Liuzi. Her hand struck my face; it didn't hurt much, but it was very
loud. I looked up and met her gaze. Because of Ga Liuzi's influence, I didn't feel the fear I usually felt when I was being beaten. She
was of medium height, with a round face and almond-shaped eyes that always radiated mischief and confidence. Not yet eighteen,
she had prematurely developed a large, round, protruding bottom, but her waist was incredibly slender—
a definite anomaly in the rural area at the time. She wasn't exactly a "Iron Girl," as she lacked
the skills expected of one in manual labor, but she had a powerful father, Lin Dake, and through her courage and willingness to fight, she became the
captain of the "Iron Girls" team.
"I...didn't see it." Because my arms were tied behind my back, and because of my crime, my upper body was bent forward at an
angle, making my head, which was already 1.76 meters tall, only reach Lin Lang's shoulder height.
"Down with that stinking scoundrel, Lu Xiaobei!"
One person led the chant, and immediately a group followed, the small courtyard seemingly about to explode with shouts.
"Kneel down and confess your sins." I received a kick to the buttocks.
I was grabbed and taken to a female educated youth, probably around my age—the same
woman who had been relieving herself. She and her sister were sitting on a wooden bench.
I knelt at their feet, afraid to look up, only leaning forward to look at their feet.
Before I could think of anything to say, the older sister slapped me. "Dishonest landlord's son!"
"Kneeling is too easy for him, let him bend over."
So I was pulled up, and two militiamen pressed down on my neck, bending my body at a
ninety-degree angle. Lin Lang came over and kicked my feet hard twice. I then brought my legs together,
keeping my upper body bent at the ninety-degree angle without moving.
"Hang the bomb on him," a girl said, and immediately, a stack of bricks was hung around my neck.
The five bricks tightened around my neck, and I had to lean my legs back at a large angle to
maintain my balance.
"Lu Xiaobei, confess honestly, or I'll send you to the commune. You counter-revolutionary bastard, peeping at female educated youths relieving themselves! Do you know
how Liu Dacheng was sentenced?"
Liu Dacheng was from this commune, a few years older than me, and from the same background as me—a landlord's son. He was in serious trouble because
he hadn't asked if anyone was home before cleaning the toilets, and he happened to find the women's director defecating.
Besides being paraded through the commune for criticism for over half a month, he was ultimately sentenced to fifteen years in prison.
In those days, that wasn't considered a serious crime; some were even executed for peeping at women using the toilet.
"I wouldn't dare… I didn't mean to… You can ask if you don't believe me…" I wanted her to ask Ga Liuzi, but
as I turned my head, I saw Ga Liuzi holding a woman's smelly shoe, being ridden by a plump female commune member
.
A rifle butt hit me on the back. "Behave yourself!" a female militiaman shouted from behind me.
Ouch! I couldn't help but shift my body slightly, and immediately another rifle butt hit my back.
"Don't behave yourself, bend over lower."
I bent over, head down, too scared to move.
"Tell me, why did you act like a hooligan?" As the question was asked, another lash came from my back.
"It really wasn't on purpose..."
"Stop swaying, bend over steadily." After an hour of being criticized, maintaining this position for so long was
making me unsteady.
"Will you confess, you filthy hooligan?" This was another female commune member asking Ga Liuzi.
"Ouch, dear sister! That really hurt! I really didn't see anything, I didn't see anything."
Ga Liuzi, still glib after being slapped, replied.
"Not confessing? Fine," Lin Lang said to the two female militiamen carrying guns, "take them out and make them
bend over on the platform to reflect on their actions."
The two female militiamen each grabbed one of my arms and dragged me to a pile of
precast concrete slabs near the door, probably leftover from building construction. Then Ga Liuzi and I were side by side, our buttocks in the air and our heads up.
The study of Mao Zedong's Selected Works began in the courtyard, while we two remained motionless, bent over on the platform by the door. It was completely dark by then, and
the courtyard lights were on—a large light bulb directly above us. It was
August in the lunar calendar, and mosquitoes were still plentiful. The light bulb attracted countless insects, which swarmed all over my
body.
I was bitten by countless mosquitoes, the itching unbearable, and I instinctively twisted my tightly
bound arms.
"Don't move! Behave yourself!" the female militia member who had been holding me captive shouted at me.
Inside the house, the study of Mao Zedong's Selected Works had finished, and they began exchanging their reflections, but soon they veered off-topic.
"Those two scoundrels got their fill of mosquitoes," a voice said.
"Oh dear! Look at him! So many mosquitoes on him!"
"Yeah, right!"
"Hey, what are you doing? Bend over there!"
My body couldn't take it anymore; I was probably swaying.
"Alright, let them off the hook. They've been bent over for so long and gotten so many mosquito bites, they're pitiful enough." Finally,
someone said something nice.
"Hey! Lu Xiaobei."
"Here."
"Do you like mosquitoes? Hehe."
I didn't know how to answer. Mosquito bites are uncomfortable, but being bitten and not being allowed to move makes it even more uncomfortable. Plus,
sitting with my head down and back bent for over an hour made my back ache terribly.
Just then, two more female commune members entered the educated youth courtyard. One of them, a plump woman around thirty years old, walked up
to Ga Liuzi. "Ga Liuzi, you got persecuted again, huh? Hehe! The other day you fought with our brothers and even made his nose
bleed, and we haven't even asked your family for compensation yet."
Ga Liuzi was probably too upset to be sarcastic at this point, and he kept his head down, not saying anything more.
The other wicked woman also approached me and interjected, "Lu Xiaobei, aren't you tired of bending over like that all the time?" From the woman
's tone, I knew she had ill intentions, so I remained silent.
"That brat's so unruly, I think we should make him watch the melons."
Hearing this, I finally couldn't stay silent any longer, afraid that her words would reach Lin Lang and the others' ears, and I pleaded with
her in a low voice, "No, sister, I'll behave..."
"Want to make him watch the melons? That's easy, Lu Xiaobei, come here!" Lin Lang still heard her words.
"Okay, right, let him watch them."
Watching melons was a torture game in our area, passed down for who knows how many years, and I don't know why it's called "
watching melons." The game involves stuffing a person's head into their own crotch, and then kicking them around like a ball.
This torture game wasn't just for brats like us; even poor peasants, adults and children
alike, played this game for amusement. It's described in novels like "Fighting Youth" and "Sunny Day." But for
the sons of landlords, this kind of play was even more common, and I was one of the most frequent victims.
My crotch wasn't like the hand-sewn crotch of a typical farmer's, so they
changed their method. First, they forced me to sit on the ground, took off my shoes, and pressed the soles of my feet together, then pressed my
head down until my face was pressed against the soles of my feet. Next, they used a long rope to tie my feet and head
together, making my cheeks pressed tightly against the soles of my feet. Once tied up, I
couldn't move at all.
"Damn it, didn't you want to overturn the verdict? Turn it over yourself!"
I was bound so tightly I couldn't move an inch; how could I turn it over? I struggled desperately.
"You little bastard, do you submit?"
"Ouch... I submit... It's uncomfortable... I submit... Let me go..."
"Hehe... Look, doesn't he look like a turtle?"
Indeed, I had seen other "black elements" bound in this way before; they really did look like turtles.
"Give him a few 'pancakes'!" someone shouted. Immediately, two female militiamen came over, grabbed my hair
, and pulled me up until I was perpendicular to the ground. Then they pushed me back slightly, and I slumped backward like a turtle
.
"Let's move him over here," one of the women suggested. So, several people dragged and
pulled me, who was completely immobile, like a tire, to a corner near the wall.
Unlike the middle of the courtyard where people usually walked, the ground here was covered with thorny goats, a kind of fruit covered with sharp thorns. My
arms and back, which were tied behind my back, were immediately pricked many times.
"Ah...it hurts...the thorny dog is pricking me...ah..."
"Ha...turn him over again."
Then, a few more mischievous female educated youths came over, grabbed the ropes binding my feet, and
pulled my head up again. When it was perpendicular to the ground and slightly tilted forward, they suddenly let go. My coiled legs and feet
, along with my head bound to my toes, "thumped" forward like an unbalanced toy,
and my insteps and calves were pricked several more times by the thorny dog.
"Ouch...it pricks me...it hurts..."
My cries only drew their laughter. In that era of sexual deprivation, women should have the same...
Years later, looking back, that night of the public denunciation of me and Ga Liuzi was probably
another manifestation of this pent-up sexual desire. You see, within the entire commune, Ga Liuzi and I were
among the most handsome. No, there might be others more handsome than us, but those who could frequently provide opportunities for public denunciation, and
find it entertaining, were probably few and far between.
Another female militiaman pulled me up, and just as she was about to let go, she said to me, "Say something nice, and
I'll let you off."
My hands were tied behind my back, and my feet were bound to my face; I had no control over my body. The stinging pain from the thorny dog was a serious
threat to me. Terrified, I didn't dare hesitate. Peeking through the gaps between my toes at that grinning face, I cried out, "Sister
... spare me..."
Before I could finish, she released me again, and I lunged forward once more, the thorny dog
pricking my feet and legs once more.
"Ouch...it hurts..."
"No matter how much you call me 'sister,' I'll still make you get pricked. Are you going to cry out or not?" I was lifted up again, and the female educated youth
made me cry out again, to call her "Grandma.
" "I'll cry out, please don't prick me...
" "Hehe! You'll still get pricked even if you cry out, are you going to cry out or not?"
"I'll cry out...Grandma...have mercy on me..." As soon as I finished speaking, she let go, and I was
pushed backward again.
The two women in their thirties also approached me, and then looked straight down at me from above. The fat woman
even kicked one of her chubby feet, wearing a dirty sock, onto my face, which was tilted upward, and
asked me, "Lu Xiaobei, will you dare to cause trouble again?"
"No, I won't." I was forced to smell the chubby feet that were sweaty from labor and answered.
Another woman squatted down, looking at me more closely, and asked, "Are you feeling unwell?"
"Unwell..."
"Hehe...that's what I wanted, to make you feel unwell, so you'll stop causing trouble later."
I lay on my back like a turtle, while she chewed on a pear with relish, then put her mouth towards my
upturned face and spat a mouthful of chewed pear peel into my mouth.
I desperately clenched my lips, so the pear peel landed on my face and didn't enter my mouth.
"You dare shut up, Grandma's feeding you!" the wicked woman said, pinching my nose so I couldn't breathe
and forcing my mouth open, then spitting another mouthful of pear peel into my mouth.
"Eat it!"
I spat out the disgusting stuff.
"No, give him a few more pancakes."
Hearing that they were going to flip the pancakes again, I quickly said, "Don't flip them, don't flip them, I'll eat."
"Hmph! Too late."
I was tossed around and played with again, my body covered in countless thorny weevils.
"Eat or not?"
"Don't flip them... I'll eat... I'll eat..."
The woman spat it into my mouth again, and I humiliatingly ate it.
Rural people don't have the habit of peeling fresh pears; they usually eat them directly after picking them, some
eating the peel along with the pear, others spitting out the remaining peel bits. What I ate was what they had chewed.
"Haha... delicious, isn't it?"
Just then, a sharp cough rang out outside the educated youth compound. The cough was exaggerated, clearly
a dry cough. As soon as the cough sounded, the noise in the compound stopped abruptly, and everyone held their breath.
Fat Shrimp had arrived.
Fat Shrimp was a member of the commune's revolutionary committee, the women's director, and also the director of the educated youth office. She didn't belong to the "Invincible
" faction, nor to the "Starting Over" faction; no one knew which side she belonged to. All that was known was that she was ruthless and powerful,
especially renowned for her merciless fighting.
Several women who had been toying with me stood up and moved aside, but I remained lying on the ground like a turtle
. I heard Ga Liuzi's cries of "Ouch, ouch!" from the side. I seemed to suddenly realize Ga Liuzi was still there
and tried to turn around to look at him, but because I was bound so tightly, I couldn't turn around at all.
"Nonsense! Nonsense! Is this a revolutionary action? No! This is nonsense!" Fat Shrimp
said angrily.
My feet were released from my face, but I couldn't move for a long time. It was only after two female militiamen pulled me that I was able
to kneel on the ground. Meanwhile, Ga Liuzi was still making soft "ouch, ouch" sounds. I couldn't help but turn
my head to look. His penis was tied to the glans with a thin rope, and a female educated youth was squatting on the ground trying to untie it,
but she couldn't manage it for a long time, causing him to cry out.
After a while, the militiaman trying to untie Ga Liuzi's penis still couldn't untie the knot. Some of the standing
female militiamen and educated youth were secretly laughing, while others were covering their mouths, making the female
militiaman trying to untie him very embarrassed, covered in sweat. Finally, she had to untie his bound arms, wanting to laugh but not daring
to, and stood at the back of the crowd. Ga Liuzi, now untied, was like me, unable to move his arms for a long time,
unable even to pull his exposed penis back into his pants, causing all the women except Fat Shrimp to secretly laugh again
.
After a long while, Ga Liuzi finally untied the knot binding his penis, shoved the tormented organ
back into his pants, and automatically knelt down beside me.
Fat Shrimp was different; regardless of others' snickers, she remained serious, displaying
the air of a revolutionary. Only after Ga Liuzi had untied and hidden his penis did she
begin her sermon as if addressing a mass rally: "Our great leader Chairman Mao taught us that class struggle must be grasped every day; it's
unacceptable to neglect it even for a day. Your hooliganism today fully demonstrates that your concept of class struggle is not strong enough
..." As if still not satisfied, she walked up to me, swung her hand, and slapped
me twice, left and right.
"Why is Lu Xiaobei so arrogant? Do you think it's just because he's reactionary? You're wrong. He's been
instigated by a reactionary family, attempting to restore capitalism! Have you recognized this reality?"
Lin Lang, following her tone, replied, "Through preliminary mass work and struggle, we have determined that
Lu Xiaobei was the mastermind behind this hooligan incident, and that he was instigated by his reactionary mother, the slut Zheng Xiaowan.
Liu Maoshun (Galuizi's real name), from a proletarian family, is not inherently bad, but he was
won over and seduced by Lu Xiaobei, becoming an accomplice of this counter-revolutionary bastard."
The educated youth squad leader also said, "We must take this hooligan incident as a negative example, dig
out the mastermind behind Lu Xiaobei, firmly grasp class struggle, and thoroughly crush the class enemy's conspiracy to restore the old order."
The inexplicable feeling I had just experienced was replaced by a chilling coldness. I realized that the criticism meeting
was not over, but had only just begun.
Indeed, it had only just begun.

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