[The Romantic History of Warlords] (Chapter 008)

Chapter 008 Recognizing a Warlord as a Godfather Pan Guangdong was a thin, hunched old man with a pointed face and a monkey-like appearance.
He had to look up to see people, and when he stood up straight, he looked like the number "3". Don't underestimate this scrawny old man with a wretched appearance; he
was a renowned miracle doctor in the Zhouqiao Township area, nicknamed "Master Pan the Second". He specialized in treating all kinds of difficult and complicated diseases,
as well as various gynecological ailments, difficult childbirth, postpartum wind, and childbirth itself.
In that feudal era where men and women were strictly separated, women didn't have hospitals for childbirth; they all found midwives, the
legendary "midwives". As a man, Pan Guangdong was quite an anomaly.
Therefore, this attracted some ill-intentioned and malicious individuals who spread vicious rumors in private:
"Guess who in Qiyang has slept with the most women?"
Someone said, "That goes without saying, the first is Commander Luo Kaiyi, and the second is Liang Jingyuan, the landlord of Xiaojia Town, both
with dozens of wives and concubines."
That person waved his hand and said, "Wrong! The one who has slept with the most women is our Mr. Pan! He's been a midwife for thirty
years, hasn't he? Every year he touches a dozen or so women, so that's at least three hundred, right? The most impressive thing is that
Mr. Pan does it openly and brazenly in front of the whole family, touching the wives' vaginas. After he's had his fill
, they still give him money and gifts to thank him. That's real skill!"
"Men should learn from Mr. Pan!" "Hahaha..."
Such remarks often make everyone in the room burst into laughter. This was just empty talk, nobody took it seriously. Even a young
woman giving birth would still call for Mr. Pan.
Luo Kaiyi hadn't eaten for a day and a night, half-reclining in a rattan chair, slurping down ginger soup noodles from a large bowl
. Between sips, he said, "Old sir, I just got a bullet in my leg. Just give me anesthesia and take the damn thing
out. I'm not some young woman, what are you touching me for?"
Pan Guangdong, while gently touching Luo Kaiyi's leg, laughed and said, "General, this old man doesn't have
anesthesia, and traditional Chinese medicine doesn't need it. Just one needle to seal your meridians, and you won't feel pain." Saying this,
he inserted the needle and began to manipulate it.
"Ouch... damn! No anesthesia? If I feel even a little pain, I'll kill you!" Luo Kaiyi clearly
didn't believe it.
After a while, Pan Guangdong grabbed Luo Kaiyi's leg and pinched it hard, asking with a smile, "Does it hurt?"
"No, it doesn't.
" Pan Guangdong then grabbed a large pair of iron pliers, pulled hard on the flesh, and asked, "Does it hurt?"
"A little itchy."
"That's good then." Pan Guangdong said, calling to his apprentice, "Laifu, bring all the tools."
So, Pan Guangdong took a sharp razor and, like a butcher, began cutting and gouging
flesh from Luo Kaiyi's thigh. Fresh blood dripped, steaming, into the earthenware basin Laifu was holding. The scene made
Yan Baosan feel nauseous. Luo Kaiyi, however, watched with wide eyes, thoroughly enjoying it: "Hey! Not bad, you
old man, you've got some skills..."
In about two or three minutes, the bullet was gouged out. Then, medicine was applied and bandaged, and it was done.
Luo Kaiyi was overjoyed, laughing loudly, "Look at that, it has to be our traditional Chinese medicine. If we went to a foreign hospital, they'd
disinfect, give us anesthesia, and even sew our flesh up with rope... those damn foreign devils are no good. Damn it, when I get back to
Qiyang, I'll tear down all those damn foreign hospitals, and those foreign doctors will go back to where they came from, hmph!
" "Bang!" Luo Kaiyi slammed his large revolver heavily on the table, glaring and threatening
, "Listen, you're not allowed to reveal my identity, or I'll wipe out your whole family."
"Yes, yes, yes." Pan Guangdong nodded vigorously, sweat beading on his forehead.
After Pan Guangdong and his apprentice left, only Yan Baosan and Lü Baolai remained in the inner room. Luo Kaiyi fixed his gaze on Lü
Baolai, his face full of admiration: "Brother, with that build, you're useless for farming." " Alright, I'm appointing you as
the platoon leader of the third platoon of my guard regiment."
"Ah..." Lü Baolai was stunned.
"What the hell?! Do you want it or not?"
"Yes! Yes!"
"Third Platoon Leader, listen to my orders! I command you to immediately ride a donkey—no, get a horse—to Niu Town to find
Niu Shouwang and tell him to bring men to pick me up. Act now!
" "Yes, Commander!" Lü Baolai was overjoyed and turned to run away.
He didn't even know his own name, yet he was given a platoon leader position…just like the warlord style described in history books.
Yan Baosan thought to himself.
"Young man, what's your name? How old are you?" Luo Kaiyi asked, sipping his tea as he carefully examined Yan
Baosan.
"Replying to Commander, my name is Yan Baosan, and I'm sixteen this year." "
?" Luo Kaiyi seemed a little disappointed, nodded and said, "Brother, you're still too young. Come
find me in Qiyang in two years, and I'll get you a county magistrate position."
Damn! Two years? You'll forget who I am by now. A county magistrate position is just an empty promise, used to fool
kids. However, he couldn't say that out loud. Yan Baosan pretended to be flattered and quickly bowed and scraped, "Thank you
for your kindness, Commander."
"I appoint you as the third adjutant. Go! Stand guard outside for me. Call me if anything happens."
Third adjutant… okay, I'll take it for now.
"Thank you, Commander!" When Yan Baosan looked up, he suddenly realized that Luo Kaiyi was actually asleep,
snoring loudly with his mouth wide open.
"He can even fall asleep while talking…what a talent!" Yan Baosan shook his head and walked out of the inner room.
Just then, the door was kicked open, and a group of fully armed cavalrymen entered, dressed in blue uniforms,
looking menacing. Leading the way was Pan Guangcheng, who immediately shouted, "Is Second Master home? A group of
bosses have arrived, they want to search house to house for the warlord bandit leader Luo Kaiyi. You're not harboring him, are you
?" "Bandit leader…" Pan Guangdong was stunned, his mouth agape, unable to utter a word for a long time.
"Enough nonsense! Search!" the cavalry leader impatiently ordered.
"Yes, sir!" A group of soldiers, like wolves and tigers, rushed into the house like bandits, ransacking it and searching for
people.
Damn it!! Even without Luo Kaiyi, the weapons hidden in the haystack alone would be a disaster. What
to do? Yan Baosan was terrified, his face turning deathly pale.
Pan Guangdong's house only had three rooms. The soldiers quickly rushed into the inner room, poking Luo Kaiyi's large belly with their guns and shouting
, "Get up! Get up!"
"Ah..." Luo Kaiyi woke up and sat up abruptly. He stared at the soldiers, dumbfounded for a full
30 seconds. Thirty seconds later, he knelt on the kang (a heated brick bed), kowtowing repeatedly, pleading, "Good sirs,
take whatever you want from my house, just spare my worthless life..."
The soldiers laughed: "Damn it! We're not bandits, we're here to arrest someone."
At that moment, Yan Baosan rushed in, grabbed Luo Kaiyi, and cried out to the soldiers with tears in his eyes
, "Don't arrest my father, he's sick. Arrest me instead, I... I'm sixteen this year."
Luo Kaiyi hugged Yan Baosan tightly, wailing, "My son, you have such a miserable life..."
"Father..." Yan Baosan cried even harder, tears and snot streaming down his face.
The two of them, with perfect understanding, staged a tragic scene of father and son about to be separated.
"Damn! Look at you bunch of cowards! We wouldn't even conscript men like you! You're a disgrace." The soldiers, their faces full
of disdain and contempt, turned and left with cold smiles.
"Fuck! What the hell!"
Just as Luo Kaiyi and Yan Baosan breathed a sigh of relief, suddenly there was a loud bang, and the window was kicked
open, revealing the face of the cavalry leader. He sat on his horse, pointing his whip at Luo Kaiyi, and asked suspiciously
, "Who are you?"
Luo Kaiyi didn't know how to answer for a moment, so he grabbed Yan Baosan and asked a particularly funny question, "Son
, who is your father?"
"He's my father, Yan Sicheng, from Yanjia Gou Village. He has three sons: the eldest is Yan Dabao, the second is Yan Erbao
, and I'm Yan Baosan, the third oldest. Mr. Pan is my father-in-law, and his daughter is called..."
Yan Baosan deliberately rambled on and on, driving the leader crazy. Annoyed, he pointed his whip and yelled, "Damn it! You son of a bitch, shut up!" Then he looked down at the man and asked, " 　　Do you know
this Yan Sicheng ?" 　　"Yes." As he spoke, Pan Guangcheng's head popped out of the window, glancing at Luo Kaiyi and Yan Baosan 　　. Yan Baosan winked at him, and he suddenly realized what was going on. He immediately called out to Luo Kaiyi with great enthusiasm and surprise, 　　"Brother Sicheng, what brings you here? Visiting in-laws in this heavy snow? Is your headache acting up again?" 　　Luo Kaiyi was quick-witted enough to reply, "Yes, brother, my headache is acting up again..." 　　The cavalry leader, having heard the conversation between the two, dispelled his suspicions and impatiently shouted, "Let's go! Next house!" 　　Before leaving, Pan Guangcheng even called out in a serious tone, "Brother Sicheng, don't rush off. 　　I'll treat you to drinks when I'm done." 　　"Alright, I'll be waiting for you, brother, you go ahead with your work." 　　Finally... finally, he had gotten away with it and escaped a disaster. What a close call! Yan Baosan plopped down on the ground 　　, panting heavily. 　　"Are you scared? What a coward!" Luo Kaiyi grinned broadly, seemingly oblivious to everything, as if nothing had 　　happened. He patted his large belly and proudly declared, "Over the years, I've traveled 　　all over the country, fighting my way through countless battles. What's the big deal?" 　　Just then, Pan Guangdong and Old Donkey Head walked in, wiping their sweat and congratulating Luo Kaiyi with smiles: "General, 　　you're truly blessed with good fortune!" 　　Luo Kaiyi was delighted and pointed at Yan Baosan: "You called me 'father' earlier, I can't let that go unpunished. How about this, I'll take you 　　as my godson, and from now on I'll be your godfather. A godfather even closer than my own father, how about that?" 　　Recognizing a godfather… Yan Baosan was a little resistant. He had a biological father in his past life, and now he had a fake father, Yan Sicheng 　　. If he were to recognize another godfather… wouldn't he become like Lü Bu in the Three Kingdoms, a slave to three masters? 　　Seeing Yan Baosan remain silent, Luo Kaiyi grew annoyed and uttered a shocking statement: "Damn it! What, 　　you want to be my godfather?" 　　"Damn... I'd like to, but would you agree?" Yan Baosan rolled his eyes. 　　Pan Guangdong and Old Donkey Head, fearing Yan Baosan would anger Luo Kaiyi—this guy was known for his ruthless nature— 　　quickly chimed in, "General, you're joking. Recognizing Baosan as your godson is 　　a blessing he's earned over three lifetimes." "Baosan, quick! Kneel down and call him 'Father' 　　!" In this situation, refusing to acknowledge him as godfather would be foolish and a death wish. Yan Baosan quickly adopted a 　　grateful expression, kneeling down: "Godfather, your son Baosan kowtows to you." He then respectfully 　　kowtowed once. 　　"Good, good, haha..." Luo Kaiyi finally beamed. 　　And so, in the blink of an eye, Yan Baosan became the adopted son of warlord Luo Kaiyi. 　　An hour later, the town mayor, Niu Shouwang, and Qiao Sanpao, commander of the 3rd Brigade of Luo's army stationed in Niu Town, led a 　　cavalry force of 500 men into Xiaoguozhuang. At Pan Guangdong's house, a magnificent honor 　　guard formed, beating drums and gongs and blowing snail-shaped brass horns to welcome Luo Kaiyi. 　　Luo Kaiyi, newly dressed in a marshal's uniform, wearing a white-tasseled military cap, carrying a sword, and riding a white 　　steed, looked incredibly dashing. Surrounded by his men, he left Xiaoguozhuang in a grand and imposing manner.

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[The Romantic History of Warlords] (Chapter 008)

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