My Youth

I didn't have any money then, so I stayed in a cheap motel. Thinking back, I really felt bad for her. I'm a pervert, very lewd. Ever since I started dating my girlfriend, or rather, since our first kiss, I've constantly explored her body. In middle school, we often met in the basement of the teachers' dormitory. In the dimly lit basement, undisturbed, we whispered sweet nothings, kissed, and savored each other's taste. We were both very restrained then, mainly because she was very protective, only allowing me to put my hand inside her clothes to touch her flesh. Occasionally, if I touched her breasts, she would scratch me for ages. In college, I thought I was an adult. Three out of the six girls in her dorm weren't virgins. Maybe it was because her best friend talked so much, but her defenses gradually crumbled under my onslaught. Her school was in the suburbs, with no entertainment venues. Every time I went to her school, we would go to her classroom. Kissing, touching. After much persistent pestering, I finally unhooked her bra and began to taste her nipples. Many people have experienced such passionate encounters in the classroom. With the arrival of spring, she changed from trousers to a skirt, and I finally had the opportunity to take it a step further—through friction. Back then, I was clueless about sex, but one time, I took my penis out and rubbed it against her vulva through her underwear. It felt great for me, and it felt great for her too. The classroom was filled with the scent of her vaginal secretions, a scent I can never forget. It was probably the unique smell of a virgin's secretions. She became aroused; once, in the hallway, I stimulated her so much that she grabbed my penis and tried to put it down. That time, I was too scared to let anyone see, so I stopped her. Later, I realized that a man's orgasm comes from constant stimulation of the glans penis, while a woman can enjoy many other types, such as clitoral orgasms, which don't require penetration. She seemed to enjoy the pleasure I gave her. The more we rubbed, the more addictive it became. She started staying with me late at the small hotel. At first, she was reserved, and after a few times I pulled her down to just her panties, but she still wouldn't let me penetrate. Finally, one day, before summer vacation, she went home for break, and I went to see her off. Because she had to wait for another classmate, she packed her bags early in the morning and came to the hotel to find me. I forgot what day it was, only that ddbv5 was broadcasting NBB, and during halftime there was a Spurs highlight reel, with Xu Wei's "Blue Lotus" playing in the background. Nothing could stop my desire for your body. Our body temperature rose with friction, and she pulled aside a corner of her panties, and my little brother finally reunited with her little sister. She lay on the bed, her face covered in sweat, nervous and excited. I directed my little brother to linger at the muddy entrance, waiting for her invitation. Just then, her phone rang; it was another female classmate calling her. "Hurry up." She hung up the phone and hugged me. I stupidly increased the speed of my friction, and she spread her legs to cooperate with me. I only remembered to penetrate when I was about to climax. "Ah, it hurts." Her comfortable groan turned into pain, and we both stopped. I was so busy comforting her and checking out that I forgot whether I'd actually penetrated her. Later in the taxi, she whispered that it hurt down there, but I forgot whether she mentioned bleeding. The second time was after summer vacation. That summer I was working a summer job and rented a room. Because school was starting, I had to move back to my dorm. She came back that day and we moved together. Having not seen each other for a long time, we, having tasted the sweetness of love, started our friction game again. We entered the room and began kissing passionately before going to bed. The summer heat hadn't subsided, and we held each other tightly, feeling each other's fiery passion. Just as the passion was reaching its peak, the doorbell rang, and my roommate returned. The passion abruptly ended. Ten years ago is truly a long time; I didn't think much about it afterward, and I can't really remember what happened that day. I think there was penetration, but I forget how deep. Mainly because of our previous friction games, I really enjoyed foreplay, always dragging it out. Basically, I only penetrated when my ex couldn't take it anymore and wanted me to. This habit earned me a lot of praise later on; some even said my foreplay skills far surpassed my penetration skills—which sounded like an insult, so I tormented her for a whole Sunday because of it. However, this habit did indeed cause me to miss this rare opportunity. According to my usual practice, even if I did penetrate, I would go in little by little; given my love for her at the time, I would never have gone all the way in. So, it seems I didn't penetrate at all. But I also felt we had, and I vaguely remember her loud moans. The passionate encounter was interrupted, and we hurriedly packed our bags and left. As for whether there was any bleeding, I'm not sure. The third time wasn't long after. That year I was a junior in college. After the semester started, I didn't quit my job but frequently skipped classes to work. Also, I couldn't stand the chain smokers in my dorm, so I rented a place near the school. That small apartment became my and my ex's love nest; we finally didn't need to book a hotel room anymore. To celebrate my housewarming, we cooked a chicken, a fish, bought vegetables and wine, and invited a few friends over. After the meal, my friends left. My ex stayed behind. Because I drank quite a bit, I honestly can't remember the passion of that night, though it seems we did. Given my taste in women, I certainly wouldn't pass up an opportunity for intimacy, and it's hard to say if things could ignite. Besides, since then, she's come to my place every few weekends. But I haven't seen any blood on the bed. I have a virginity complex, especially with women I love. This suspicion still makes me doubt her. Because she has an ex-boyfriend, with whom she's maintained a lingering relationship, yet she tells me I'm her first love. That summer, they met; what happened, I don't know. Considering some things that happened after our breakup, some things truly remain a mystery. Maybe I'm just overthinking it; now, that's not important. I've rambled on for a long time, racking my brains, but I really can't remember when my first time was. Maybe it was some time I stayed at a hotel near my school. Perhaps she knows, but given our current relationship, how can I ask? Let it remain a mystery. The first time isn't important; what's important is that I had a beautiful and passionate period of my youth. Thank you to her, and I wish her well. [The End]

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My Youth

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