[Urban] My Flirtatious Wife (Complete) - 19-21

Chapter 28 of Volume 1: Nothing's Missing.

As autumn deepens, even in China's southernmost city, the weather begins to change. The air is incredibly dry, like it's filled with gunpowder. You have to drink water immediately after smoking, otherwise your throat will itch terribly. The temperature starts to drop slowly; showering is no longer called showering, it's called taking a bath, because you dare not use cold water anymore. I've covered the fan with a plastic bag and thrown it on top of the wardrobe. The temperature difference between day and night has widened. In the morning, I always want to stay in my warm bed and don't want to get up.

Around 11 a.m. on Sunday, the sun pierced through the thick curtains, caressing everything in the bedroom. I was nestled in bed, hugging Yang Liu, discussing the profound question of whether man or woman came first,

when a series of intermittent "knock, knock..." sounds came from the distant horizon. Zhou Gong stopped arguing, patted my bottom, and said, "Did you hear that? It sounds like someone's knocking."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Crazy! It's the middle of the night, who's knocking? Answer the question, don't skip it."

Zhou Gong's eyes widened, his voice suddenly becoming shrill. "What? Answer what question? Are you dreaming? There really is knocking, listen..."

I woke up, opened my eyes, and saw Zhou Gong was gone. It was just Yang Liu patting my bottom. Ugh... Thinking about the dream, I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Knock, knock, knock..."

This time I heard it clearly; someone really was knocking. Strange, I usually keep to myself, living a quiet life, and very few people know where I live. Besides, it's Sunday, so early in the morning, who would come? Besides, this is a detached house, and I can't possibly have any neighbors. It's really puzzling...

After thinking about it for a moment, a name suddenly popped into my head—Xiao Li! Could it really be her? I'm doomed this time! What's meant to be will be, so I'll just have to play it by ear.

With the tragic heroism of a warrior going to his death, I jumped out of bed, found the underwear I'd left on the floor last night, put it on, opened the bedroom door, and went out. Behind me, Liu saw me leave, flopped onto the pillow, and continued her sleep. Damn... a woman!

I opened the door and breathed a sigh of relief. The one disturbing my peaceful sleep was actually that guy J. Just as I was about to open the door wide to let him in, I suddenly saw a wisp of long hair flash past behind him, so I quickly slammed the door shut again and ran into the bedroom. Behind me came J's cursing, "Damn it, what's wrong with you? Why won't you let me in? He Shi, get the hell out here and open the door!..."

I ignored him, reached out and pulled back the covers, patted the naked Liu, and said, "Get up, put your clothes on, a friend is here."

Seeing her open her sleepy eyes resentfully, she said angrily, "Who is it... so early in the morning?"

When I opened the door again, I was wearing an old light blue shirt and my usual athletic shorts.

"Hello, sister-in-law, hehe..."

I said with a smile to the woman who came in behind J.

The woman nodded, giving me a sharp wink with her left eye, as if to say, "I know why you didn't open the door earlier."

Then she pouted, revealing a row of neat teeth. "Heh... hello, sorry to bother you so early."

"It's alright," I said, but before I could finish, J, who had been looking around since entering, shouted, "Wife, don't be so polite with this guy, it's unnecessary. He still owes me two bottles of wine. Hey! Kid, where's the wine? Where is it?"

J looked at me with feigned seriousness.

"Wine? What wine?"

I scratched the back of my head, unable to recall borrowing any wine from him.

"Oh? You're pretending, aren't you? Last time in Zhuhai..."

J suddenly stopped, his mouth agape as if he had a fishbone stuck in his throat, staring dumbfounded at the bedroom door. I followed J's gaze, and there stood Yang Liu, who had just finished dressing and come out of the doorway.

After a long pause, J finally managed to greet Yang Liu with a stiff, trembling face, "Hi, you...you're back?"

J knew perfectly well about Liu's departure, and I doubted he ever expected to see me, the woman he'd lost and found again, here today.

Yang Liu was already familiar with the couple, so she didn't react much to their presence. However, J's question made her a little embarrassed. She chuckled slightly and said, "Yes, I'm back."

J seemed to realize his earlier actions were somewhat inappropriate. He turned to look at me, then at his wife behind him, before turning back and asking, "It's good you're back. How long have you been back?"

"It's been three months, but I haven't seen you since. Okay, you two chat, I'm going to wash my face."

Yang Liu finished speaking and shuffled into the bathroom in her slippers.

J stared blankly as Liu walked away, until his wife poked him hard with her finger. He snapped out of his daze, looking at me with a puzzled expression, as if seeking an answer. I shrugged, spreading my hands, indicating silence.

"Heh heh...so you guys just got up? No wonder your hair looks like a bird's nest, you must have been making a ruckus last night! Oh dear! I almost forgot about the important matter, Xiao Shi, where's my wine? My wine?"

J cried out loudly.

I was truly exasperated, only able to feign helplessness. "Wine, brother! Please, when did I take your wine?"

"Damn! You're still pretending, you forgot, didn't you? Let me remind you, over a month ago, when I was still at home, you called..."

J's words reminded me of what happened in Zhuhai after the Mid-Autumn Festival.

I laughed awkwardly, "It seems like that happened, haha, but I really had no choice that day, so I had to let you give me the message first. I was planning to buy two more bottles of wine later, but I completely forgot. Look at my memory, it's really..."

As I spoke, I deliberately slapped my head, looking like I was in deep pain.

"Damn it! You were just kidding me, teasing me, that's not right of you! Look how good I am to you, I just got off the train last night and came straight here for drinks today. There's a long line of people inviting me to dinner."

J grumbled, while his wife stood behind him, covering her mouth and laughing. Knowing I was in the wrong

, I laughed it off, "Haha, of course I know. How about this, to show I have a moment of repentance, lunch is on me, you can choose where you want to go. Okay? You guys sit down for a while, I'll go wash my face first."

J immediately grinned mischievously and said, "Good! Good, hehe, that's more like you."

I was a little dizzy... But to be honest, J isn't such a snobbish person. This behavior today is just a common little trick we use when joking around. Deep down, I'm grateful to him. I'm grateful that after traveling all the way back from Xiangbei, the first person he contacted was me; I'm grateful that he introduced me to this company, allowing me to meet Xiaoli; and I'm also grateful for his help when I encountered difficulties in Zhuhai last time. In short, J is the kind of friend I know who is most worthy of my sincere friendship.

Sigh, thinking of Zhuhai makes my heart ache.

After washing up, it was already past midnight. We locked the door, and the four of us took a taxi to Mao's Restaurant in Dongmen. We ordered some Hunan dishes and a few bottles of beer, and the four of us indulged ourselves, lazily leaning back in our chairs picking our teeth.

"Are you full? Hehe... Did you guys have fun at home?"

I broke the silence and asked with a smile.

J tossed away the toothpick, picked up his teacup, took a sip, and said, "Sigh, what's there to be happy or unhappy about at home? It's always the same, unchanged for fifty years."

"Hey, brother, you can't say that. Your place is a nationally renowned tourist attraction, and you say it hasn't changed for fifty years? I think it changes every day. If your place is no good, then you can imagine what my home is like."

I suddenly recalled a recent news story: Lei, the vice mayor of Chenzhou City in charge of urban construction, embezzled 3.1 billion yuan of housing provident fund. After the incident, he was only sentenced to death with a two-year reprieve. Anyone familiar with Chinese law knows that a death sentence with a two-year reprieve can be commuted to life imprisonment within two years unless there is an escape or other disciplinary violations. Life imprisonment can then gradually become a fixed term, and with paying more money, parole is still an option. In short, a death sentence with a two-year reprieve will ultimately mean spending no more than five years in prison. After five years, he can once again be a powerful figure, continuing to wreak havoc on the world.

Alas… there are too many corrupt officials; the ship will sink sooner or later. It's just pitiful for the ordinary people on board, who will suffer along with the ship, living in dire straits.

"Bullshit! What do you mean by 'changing every day'? Tourist attractions are fine, but all the money goes into the pockets of officials. Where is there any for us ordinary people?"

J spat angrily.

"Hmm, that's true. But, as people from Zhangjiajie, you don't have anything?"

"Yes, you do. You can enter the scenic area for free by showing your ID card. But think about it, the locals, who the hell would be interested in seeing those few mountains growing up?"

"Sigh..."

We all sighed at the same time. In this world, we're suffering in silence. I remember seeing a passage online once, which went like this: After a leader finished giving a report in a meeting hall, he passionately asked, "Comrades, building a socialist country with Chinese characteristics is a long and arduous task. This requires everyone to promote each other and unite as one. What do you lack? Just tell us."

The whole hall was silent. Then someone stood up and said, "Reporting to the leader, we lack nothing, except for Chen Sheng and Wu Guang."

(The following is a separate, unrelated passage): After

finishing their meal, two women held hands and said they were going shopping. The men exchanged wry smiles and slowly followed behind them like servants.

Arriving at the ParknShop department store, the women went in enthusiastically, while J and I sat in the rest area near the entrance waiting for them.

"You're not allowed to wander around, and you're not allowed to look around!"

Yang Liu pouted and frowned at me as we were leaving. I smiled awkwardly and didn't answer her. She then pulled J's wife and ran quickly inside.

"J, how did it go? About that thing you mentioned last time?" "

Watching their retreating figures, I asked.

"Sigh..."

J sighed deeply, took out a cigarette, and noticed that smoking was prohibited here. He stood up and patted me, "Come on, let's go outside for a smoke, I'll tell you slowly."

Standing outside the door, we each lit a cigarette. J took a deep drag, exhaled a long trail of smoke, and gazed at the tall building across the street. After a long while, he said thoughtfully, "Xiao Shi, why do people get married?"

I shook my head, blankly replying, "I don't know, there are many answers."

"Yes, there are too many answers. People from different social classes and different eras have different reasons for getting married. I've been thinking about this question ever since I came home last time."

Smoke drifted and surrounded J; he looked lost and confused. Is this what marriage is all about?

"Then, you and your wife, now..."

I wanted to help him, but I had to understand their current situation first.

"Sigh... I don't know. Women, I just don't understand them. After I came home that time, she rarely called, and I didn't see her send many messages either." "I reckon she and that guy haven't been in much contact anymore. But when she's with me, she's even more silent. She rarely speaks, rarely talks to me."

J flicked his cigarette ash into the nearby trash can and said calmly.

"Oh..."

I nodded, seemingly understanding, then asked, "So, what are you planning to do now?"

J pursed his lips, dismissively saying, "What to do? What else can I do? I'll just take it one step at a time. Since I can't control her mind, that's all I can do. That's why I came back early."

"Like that? Isn't that too passive?"

I looked at him incredulously, going with the flow—that wasn't like him. Had a passionate love affair worn down his spirit?

"Passive? It doesn't matter. Should I divorce her? No way. I still love her, and I don't want to be an irresponsible man."

J stubbed out his cigarette with two fingers and threw it into the trash can, then said, "By the way, another reason I came back this time is that my old colleague in Zhuhai opened a company and asked me to come help." "I'll probably be there in a couple of days."

"Zhuhai? Which one?"

For some reason, my memory has been declining drastically lately. Things I used to remember clearly are now just fragments, like edited film reels.

"Damn, are you getting Alzheimer's? Didn't I tell you before I went back? He's a former colleague from my time at Huatong. He registered a trading company in Zhuhai, mainly dealing in drill bits and instruments. Remember?"

"Oh..."

I suddenly remembered, it seemed like there was such a thing.

"He's in Shenzhen today too. I'm going down to talk to him and ask him to help me get my luggage. Do you want to come with me to meet him?"

J patted my shoulder and said.

"Where is he?"

I thought about it. It would be good to know someone like that; having more friends means more opportunities.

"I think... he's staying at some hotel in Luohu, but I forgot. I'll call and ask later. Shall we go together?"

J took out his phone and asked me.

I nodded and said, "Sure, let's go together. " The two women strolled around until after 4 PM, then went home satisfied. J

and I went to the Hua'an Hotel in Luohu and met J's former colleague in the Chinese restaurant. After a brief exchange of pleasantries and business cards, I took a closer look at the middle-aged man named Zhao Shigao… His aged face was lined with wrinkles, like a freshly plowed rice paddy. His short hair stood on end, interspersed with patches of white hair, like dandelion stalks. J had told me they were born in the same year, 1978, making them 28 this year. But looking at him, he seemed more like 40. It

was my first time meeting Zhao, and we weren't very familiar with each other, so I just sat quietly to the side, sipping my coffee and occasionally smiling at them. As dusk settled, I finally heard them say, "Okay, that's all for now." "

Then I parted ways with them and returned to my little apartment.

As soon as I entered, I sensed a strong tension. Had the Iraq War moved here? I wondered as I walked, pushing open the bedroom door. Yang Liu was hunched over her computer, typing away, engrossed in a chat.

'Who are you chatting with? You seem quite engrossed,'

I chuckled as I approached.

The tension intensified. Sure enough, Liu turned around, her face dark and menacing. 'Tell me, who is this person, the one with the fragrant plum blossoms?'

'Who?'

I asked, surprised.

'I'm asking you! Who is this person? And you're asking me?'

Liu pouted, feigning innocence.

'Who? Nonsense! Don't you know who you're chatting with online? Why are you asking me?'

I chuckled, exasperated.

'No! I'm on your QQ. Look for yourself! Why is that person being so friendly with you?'

Liu pointed at the monitor and shouted.

'What?' " You logged into my QQ account? How did you get the password?

Then I thought, the password is my birthday, she already knows that. Ugh… oh well, anyway, I don't have anything I can't let her see. "Let me see, I didn't even know I had this online friend."

I bent down, grabbed the mouse, and clicked on the person's profile in the QQ chat window. After a moment, I realized, it was her—Li Mei. Looking at the QQ chat window again, I couldn't help but laugh.

Plum Blossom Fragrance: Stone, are you there?

He Shi: (QQ emoticon with question mark) Plum Blossom Fragrance: Yes? Why aren't you saying anything?

He Shi: You are…

Plum Blossom Fragrance: I'm Meizi, don't you remember?

He Shi: (QQ emoticon sweating) Plum Blossom Fragrance: What's wrong? Say something! You've only been gone for three months, how come you don't remember me? (QQ emoticon crying) He Shi: Oh, I remember, I remember, we…

Plum Blossom Fragrance: Hehe, it's good that you remember, I've been so busy lately, just got back from a trip. How have you been lately? I miss you so much… (shy QQ emoticon) He Shi: Hmm… I miss you too. Do you remember last time…

Plum Blossom Fragrance: (three shy QQ emoticons) Hmm, of course I won’t forget that night. I’ve decided, I’ll come to Shenzhen to see you on New Year’s Day, okay?

He Shi: Huh? (surprised QQ emoticon) Where are you coming from?

Plum Blossom Fragrance: Hehe, of course from Shanghai. Remember to come pick me up then. …Before I finished reading, the mouse was snatched away by Liu. I heard her say, “Still looking? What’s so interesting? Tell me! Who is she?”

I chuckled and pointed to Li Mei’s profile, saying, “Her? Look, she’s from the same place as me, my classmate.”

“Classmate? Would a classmate do this? When did you go to Shanghai? What happened between you two?”

Liu analyzed and speculated carefully. I realized that if she were unemployed, she could easily become a private investigator.

"You're crazy. I can't be bothered to discuss such pointless things with you. I'm going to take a shower, I'm so tired."

"No way, you're not going until we get to the bottom of this."

Liu grabbed my clothes, insisting that I delete Li Mei's QQ account.

Ugh, this is so unreasonable. I straightened my face and said in a low voice, "Stop it. I said we're classmates, so we're classmates. Why are you being so silly?"

She paused, let go of me, and lay down on the bed, immediately letting out soft sobs. Sigh... I was at a loss. Why do women cry so easily? "Okay, okay, stop crying..."

I sat on the edge of the bed, pulled her up, and hugged her.

"Waaah... you... you still say there aren't any other women, you... you don't love me at all."

She sobbed softly.

My heart ached. How could I not love Liu? Since I chose to be with her, I really shouldn't let other women appear. Having made up my mind, I gently patted Liu's smooth, long hair and said, "Okay, stop crying. I love you. That really is a classmate. If you don't believe me, I'll delete her now, okay?"

She stopped crying and turned her head to the other side, seemingly not believing I would do that. I smiled, walked over, selected "Plum Blossom Fragrance," and was about to delete it when I heard Yang Liu call out, "Wait a minute!"

I turned around. Had she changed her mind?

She walked over in small steps, pointed at the screen, and said, "Put her in your blacklist first, then delete her."

When I heard this, I almost fainted. Ruthless and cruel, nothing is more vicious than a woman's heart. But I couldn't have my cake and eat it too. What else could I do?

I added Li Mei to my blacklist, closed my eyes, gritted my teeth, and pressed the "delete" button.

(Chapter 30 of Volume 1: The Bachelor's Plan)

"Hello? Shizi? Why haven't you called back for so long?"

The phone rang for a long time before my mother's reproachful voice finally came through the receiver.

"Mom...hehe, I've been so busy lately, always out and about. Have you eaten yet?"

I hadn't called them for two months, and I felt a little guilty. Being busy was just an excuse; surely I could make a phone call, right?

My mother didn't press further, but said with concern, "Always out and about? It's so chaotic out there now, be careful, okay? You haven't eaten yet, I'm just about to cook."

"Yeah, don't worry, the company provides transportation for business trips. Why haven't you eaten yet? It's almost three o'clock."

I asked.

"Of course, just got back from feeding the pigs. Three o'clock is still early."

Wow, three o'clock is still early.

"Hehe, then you should cook early later. Where's Dad?"

"Your dad went to plant sweet potatoes, he'll come back later. Have you eaten yet?"

my mother said casually.

"I ate early. Oh, Mom, I sent some money home yesterday. Check it when you go to the market in a few days; it should arrive in seven days." Of the

more than 30,000 yuan I received from handling the Weida case, I sent 20,000 yuan home.

"Did you send it? Is it enough for yourself? If not, keep it for yourself. Don't skimp on what you need, and don't waste money on things you shouldn't..."

My mother launched into another long lecture. I suppressed a laugh and listened quietly until she finished, then replied, "Okay, I know. You always say this, don't you get tired? That's all for now. Remember to get checked out later. Take care of yourselves, are you both feeling alright lately?"

"Yes, I'm fine, but your dad's been coughing a lot lately, a dry cough."

My mother seemed very calm, as if coughing was as commonplace as eating.

"What's wrong? Hasn't he gone to the hospital?"

I asked anxiously.

"No, I told him to go, but he wouldn't. It should be nothing, I guess. He bought some cold medicine and is taking it."

That's how it is in the countryside; a headache is mistaken for a cold, a foot ache is treated with cold medicine, sigh...

"That won't do. When he comes back, tell him he absolutely must go to the hospital. Don't worry about the money; money is meant to be spent. Health is the most important thing, you know?"

I wondered if my mother would listen to my advice. Why does she always seem to disregard her own health?

"It's alright, he won't listen anyway. Call him when he gets back, you can call him yourself. If I call him, we'll just argue again. Don't worry about us, just take care of yourself. Are you coming home for Chinese New Year? Are you bringing a girl with you? Ahua's kid can already walk, look at you, you're already in your mid-twenties, and you still haven't brought one home? Be careful you don't become an old bachelor."

My mother was referring to Ahua, a cousin of the same age as me, with whom I used to catch frogs in the fields, pee in front of other people's kitchens, and go to school.

"Kids are already out there? Haha, so fast? Mom, don't rush me, I'll either not bring any, or I'll bring a whole bunch back so you can choose one, haha..."

I teased.

Unexpectedly, his mother got angry. She yelled at him on the phone, "You idiot, how could you say that? I want you to find someone decent, not some bunch of random girls!"

"Oh, I was just kidding, why did you take it so seriously? Actually, I'm still young, and we don't have the means. Think about it? I can't even support myself, how can I support a wife and a child?"

"Give us the child, we'll raise him for you. Your father and I aren't rich either, and you're tall and strong, aren't you? If you find a girl, you can earn money together and save money together..."

My mother was lecturing me incessantly, as if I were now the "old bachelor" she was talking about. Hearing her practically want to execute me on the spot over the phone, I quickly interrupted her, saying, "Hehe, okay, okay, I know. I'll go home for Chinese New Year with a girlfriend, alright?"

"That's more like it..."

My mother smiled contentedly and hung up.

After hanging up, I stared at my desk, and worry set in. My attempt to comfort my mother was just a temporary measure; I had no idea who I could bring home. Liu? It seemed like only her, but I had never asked her if she was willing. Even if she was, would her family agree? What if I said I wasn't going home for Chinese New Year, or that I was going home alone? Wouldn't that disappoint my mother? I shook my head, then suddenly my eyes lit up. I saw Xiao Li in the office across the street. That's it! Could she work? I remembered she once said she liked the quiet life in the countryside. Maybe I could tempt her with the image of rising smoke from a chimney and the sunset over the mountaintop.

I walked into Xiaoli's office and saw her engrossed in writing something on a form.

"Manager..."

I called softly.

"Hmm?"

Xiaoli didn't even look up, just gave a casual reply.

"I need to talk to you about something. I might need to take a few days off during the Spring Festival to go back to my hometown."

I thought Xiaoli was a smart person, so I tried to phrase it tactfully; she should understand.

"Hmm, it's still early. The Spring Festival is still two or three months away."

She still didn't look up at me, her black ballpoint pen making circles and dots on the A4 paper.

Ugh, her words left me speechless. I couldn't think of anything to say next, and I stood there dumbfounded.

"Sister Li..."

I called again after a moment. This time she finally looked up, glanced at me, nodded, and asked seriously, "What? Is there anything else?"

I was incredibly embarrassed and smiled, saying, "Oh, nothing, it's just that my family doesn't allow me to go back. If I do go back, I have to bring my girlfriend with me..."

Xiaoli paused, taken aback. Then she put down her pen, picked up the teacup on the table, took a sip, and smiled, saying, "Ha...that's great, your family is worried about you. It's okay, I'll approve your leave, but not for too long, a week at most."

Then, her attention returned to the form in her hand. ...

I walked out of the manager's office, bewildered. It seemed she hadn't grasped the deeper meaning of my words. Was this still the same Xiaoli who said she liked men working the fields and women weaving? In a daze, I felt a growing distance between us, like two trains traveling in opposite directions, only able to see each other's tails, growing further and further apart, more and more blurred. A dull ache lingered in my heart.

I regretted losing my stance under my mother's oppressive policies, leaving me in a dilemma. If I asked Liu tonight and the answer was still no, then I would have to break my promise to my mother.

When I entered, Liu had already left work and was playing Bubble Fighter on the computer. I moved another chair and quietly watched from the side.

"Ugh... I'm dead again, damn it."

Finally, Liu's character was blown to bits on the screen, and she yelled angrily.

"Hehe, stop playing, Liu, I have something to tell you."

I patted her and said softly.

"Okay, go ahead, I'm listening."

She got even more excited and started throwing bubbles again.

"It's like this, I called home today, and my mom said... said... she said we should go home for Chinese New Year."

I said weakly, forcing myself to speak.

"Oh, how long are you going to be back?"

Liu answered casually.

"Not me, it's us, us."

I raised my voice and repeated.

She stopped playing the game and turned her head. "What? We? You mean I have to go back with you too?"

"Yeah..."

I nodded seriously and then asked, "You... don't want to?"

She continued to stare at me, her eyes seemingly thorny, making me feel uncomfortable. She just pouted and said, "Hmph! You think I'll just go back with you like that?"

"So I'm just asking for your opinion, aren't I?"

I said with a sincere smile.

"Hehe..."

Liu paused, then suddenly seemed to remember something and exclaimed exaggeratedly, "Ah! Shi, what's the date today?"

"The 12th, what's wrong?"

I asked with concern.

"The 12th? Oh no, oh no... I, I haven't had my period yet, it's been almost two weeks."

Liu stamped her foot and said anxiously.

"Really? That long?"

I suddenly became nervous too. After what happened more than a year ago, we're both extremely careful now, and we basically never go into labor without a bra. Could it be that we're so lucky, and she's pregnant again?

"Really, oh no."

Yang Liu said in a panic, then thought for a moment and said, "What should we do? Should we go out and buy one of those things to try?"

The thing she was talking about was a pregnancy test. But I hadn't forgotten the past, and I dared not be as reckless as before and repeat the same mistake. After a moment's thought, I gently pinched her cheek and said with a smile, "Hehe, don't worry, nothing will happen. Tomorrow is Saturday, I'll go to the hospital with you, okay?"

Yang Liu nodded solemnly. That night, I didn't sleep a wink...

Chapter 31 of Volume 1: The Name of a Bastard

. I came to this wilderness again, an endless wilderness. The distant sky, like a curtain, covered this vast, uninhabited land. Above it, a perfectly round setting sun hung silently on the curtain, like a blood-red eye, gazing at everything in this wilderness. Not a breath of wind stirred; the grass tips remained motionless, their sword-like leaves piercing the sky as if to tear through the curtain of life. There was no buzzing of mosquitoes; the surrounding silence was terrifying. I could hear the blood gushing and surging in my veins…

the blood grew even darker. From the knee-high grass came a rustling sound, like someone struggling to move. I stood motionless, looking around, trying to pinpoint the source of the sound, but to no avail. Listening intently, the sound grew closer. I was terrified; sweat poured down my body, my heart pounded in my throat, and finally…

finally, it appeared. It was an unformed embryo, its skin wrinkled like a distorted mass of flesh, its entire body covered in a layer of mucus. Its curled limbs, no thicker than a thumb, writhed erratically, leaving a long trail of blood where it crawled. So, the sky had been stained red by it. Suddenly, he raised his face, the outline of which I could only make out, and looked at me. His eyelids twitched rapidly, as if he wanted to open his eyes, or perhaps he was questioning something.

What was this? I was soaked to the bone; a small puddle of sweat had already formed on the floor. I suppressed my fear and looked closely at his face. Suddenly, I realized he looked remarkably like me, and the resemblance was growing stronger. He was changing, his features becoming more defined and vivid. I couldn't hold back my terror any longer and screamed. This was clearly me as an infant…

I woke up to find the sheets completely drenched. It turned out I had actually fallen asleep. Dawn was just breaking, the gray light illuminating the small bedroom. Beside me, Liu was still snoring softly, unaffected by my panicked screams. I sighed, lit a cigarette, and went to the balcony. The winter chill made the morning increasingly cold. The lychee trees in front of the door were slowly shedding their green leaves. Another year was about to pass…

I recalled this strange dream. Over a year ago, Yang Liu had an abortion in the bathroom after taking abortion pills. Since then, the image of that blood-red scene kept replaying in my mind, consciously or unconsciously. In fact, the fetus wasn't even fully formed at that time, but my subconscious kept driving me to imagine it as myself. Then, I had recurring nightmares that lasted for quite some time. It wasn't until Liu recovered that I gradually emerged from the nightmare. But last night's dream was so real, so tangible—how could I explain it? Was it my own fear that created it, or is Liu really pregnant again?

Liu finally agreed to come home with me for the Spring Festival. Sitting on the bus to the hospital, looking out the window at the huge billboards, the hurried crowds, and the cold, towering buildings, everything suddenly seemed lovely, and the gloom in my heart vanished. The hospital morning was even colder than outside, which was usually a good thing, but stepping into the hospital, I felt a strange chill...

After registering, the doctor gave me a disposable cup. Yang Liu blushed as she took it and headed straight for the restroom at the end of the corridor. I could only sit on a bench in the corridor and wait for her. After a while, I felt incredibly bored. I looked around, but apart from the occasional nurse passing by, it was deathly silent. Extremely bored, I took out my phone and started playing a game.

"Hey! What are you doing here?"

Just as I reached the final level of the game, someone tapped my shoulder, and a familiar yet surprised voice suddenly rang in my ear.

I looked up, and Xiao Xue was standing in front of me, carrying a white handbag and smiling. I smiled awkwardly, "Hehe, it's you? Going to work today too?"

Xiao Xue pouted her cute lips and snorted, "Of course I'd eat the northwest wind if I didn't go to work! Heh... what are you doing here?"

"I...I...I'm here..."

I stammered, unsure how to answer her.

But she just smiled wryly. "What? Hehe... How come you've become a stutterer after all this time? You're here for a follow-up appointment, right? I remember the doctor told you to come back in three months, but it's not time yet, why are you here so early? Humph! Come with me, the doctor probably hasn't started work yet. I'll take you to the office to wait. So you don't sit here like an idiot."

With that, she grabbed my sleeve and tried to pull me into a room next door. Just

as I was about to go in, Liu's shout came from the other end of the corridor, "He Shi! Where are you going?"

Xiao Xue was already in the room. Although she hadn't seen Liu in the corridor, the shout had clearly reached her ears. She stopped grabbing my sleeve in surprise, standing there dumbfounded, not knowing what to think.

"Was she calling you?"

Xiao Xue asked, her eyes wide.

"Yes..."

I replied.

"She's... your girlfriend?"

She continued to press me with a completely distrustful expression.

I nodded again, confirming her suspicion. Seeing her pull down my sleeve, she angrily tossed out a "Goodbye!"

and walked into the doctor's office. Ugh, she seems angry, what's wrong?

The urine test results came back, and Liu and I both breathed a sigh of relief. It was a false alarm; Liu was just having a delayed period, not pregnant. As I left the hospital, I thought I saw Xiaoxue's figure flash past the door, but upon closer inspection, I couldn't see her again. Back home, my phone beeped. I took it out and... Ugh...

"He Shi, you bastard!" Xiaoxue wrote in the message.

"I'm not, what's wrong with you?"

I replied.

"You are a bastard, a bastard!" Soon, another message came.

"Ugh, what's wrong with you? Don't swear, let's talk this out."

I was a little angry; being insulted like this for no reason, even Buddha would be furious.

"You lied to me, so I'm going to curse you,"

Xiaoxue said defiantly.

"What? When did I lie to you? What did I lie about? This is ridiculous..."

I noticed something funny: girls basically don't use punctuation in their messages; it seems to be a rule. People who haven't studied Chinese well really have trouble punctuating sentences, haha.

"You...you know what you told me?" "I don't understand, just tell me directly."

Really, I don't think I said anything to her, so how can there be any question of lying or not lying?

"I can't explain it clearly. How about this, I'll wait for you there tonight at 7:30, don't be late." She didn't seem to type very fast; she wasn't the type of girl who was always on her phone sending messages.

"Oh? Where?"

I was completely baffled.

"You idiot, guess for yourself, it's there." She replied with her last message, and when I asked again, there was no further news. I called her, but she didn't answer.

Sigh...what is she up to?

Chapter 32 of Volume 1: The Smile of the Bright Moon.

I wasn't wrong after all. When I hurriedly arrived at the beach, walking down the embankment of the coastal road, I saw Xiaoxue's beautiful figure in the distance. Amidst the bustling beach, she sat alone on a giant rock, looking exceptionally lonely. I stood about ten meters behind her, gazing at her long hair fluttering in the sea breeze, momentarily hesitant about whether to go over…

On the way here, my thoughts were a jumbled mess, the tide of memories washing over how I met Xiaoxue—from our dramatic first meeting, to the chance encounter that she was a nurse at the hospital, and then our third meal together. Everything felt like a scene from a movie, almost unreal. As for Xiaoxue herself, I never dared to hope that anything would happen between us; the time we spent together was so short, it could be counted in seconds. She gave me a strange feeling, like family, even though I knew the chances of that happening were smaller than the sky falling. But when I was around her, I always felt a strange urge to protect her. She was so innocent; her joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness were all written on her face.

I stood there for a while, then walked up to the rock where she was and sat down beside her. She seemed to sense my presence, but didn't speak, simply sitting upright, her eyes fixed on the distance…

It was low tide, the sea was calm, and many fishing boats returning home at night cast phosphorescent spots on this enormous mirror. Upon closer inspection, some of the shimmering phosphorescence was white, distinct from the others; looking up, one could tell it was moonlight. What a beautiful night! A bright, clear moon hung in the vast sky, like a jewel set in a crown, dazzling and radiant. Another light flashed in the distance, breaking the boundary between my eyes and the moon; looking over, I saw a lighthouse standing in the mirror…

“Why do you think these lighthouses are built in places like that?”

Xue, who had been silent for a long time, finally spoke, though her clear voice seemed a little hoarse.

“Well… there must be reefs below,”

I answered timidly, feeling, for some reason, that I owed her something.

“Oh, but why build a lighthouse if there are reefs?”

she continued to press.

"Reefs are dangerous! If a ship hits one, it will sink."

I felt like I was explaining to a primary school student why one plus one equals two.

"Really? Then why don't people have lighthouses?"

Ugh, she's a walking encyclopedia of questions.

"Hehe...people don't have reefs on them, so why would they need lighthouses?"

I patiently let her ramble on.

"No, you said reefs equal danger, so that means if people are dangerous, they should also have lighthouses."

What was she saying? It sounded like a double entendre.

I thought for a moment and realized it made some sense, so I said, "That seems to make sense too."

She laughed, a smug laugh, and winked her mischievous eyes, saying, "Then tell me why you don't have any lights on you?"

I think even an idiot would understand at that moment: she was subtly mocking me. But I'm not stupid; I knew she was implying I was lying to her—or rather, lying in her eyes, because I couldn't recall when, where, or what language I'd spoken to her that made her think I was lying.

Even so, I still felt a little awkward, so I laughed and said, "Hehe... just say what you want to say, I..."

She didn't respond to my question but changed the subject, saying sarcastically, "Your girlfriend is very pretty."

"Hehe... so-so, third in the world."

I felt more relaxed and joked with her.

In the dim light, I clearly saw her face change, she glare at me, and say sharply, "I'm serious, who's joking with you?"

I never expected her to turn on me so quickly, so I immediately shut my mouth, feeling utterly bored. Another deathly silence followed, the only sound the salty sea breeze whistling in my ears.

Perhaps she couldn't bear the silence either, or perhaps she felt her reaction had been too intense. After a moment, Xue asked softly, "He Shi, why did you lie to me?"

"I... I never lied to you!"

I cried out, aggrieved. When had I ever lied to her?

"No? You forgot? Last time you were injured and hospitalized, I asked you if you had a girlfriend, and you told me no. He Shi, I told you about my past experiences, so I'm extremely wary of men. But I don't know why, you're different. Maybe it's because when we first met, you didn't try to take advantage of me like other men. Later, I suddenly found myself wanting to see you, and then you were injured and came to the hospital. Do you know why I stayed at the hospital with you after work instead of going home? Because I wanted to understand you more, and I also..." "I imagine you all alone in the hospital room, so lonely. How ridiculous, isn't it? I actually fell for a man I met in a hotel. Anyway, I know I've fallen for you, so I tried to get you to treat me to dinner. But you silly goose, after that meal, all you did was send texts. These past few days, I was thinking about asking you out, when I suddenly found out you have a girlfriend. He Shi, having a girlfriend isn't wrong, but why did you lie to me? I hate being lied to the most!"

Xue calmly told me her thoughts. I was stunned by her words and didn't know how to respond. I just sat there blankly for a long time, completely unprepared for her to say she liked me!

"Okay, it doesn't really matter anymore. Anyway, I know you already have a girlfriend, and I won't be interested in men anymore. If I had known you men were all the same, I shouldn't have had any hope for men again,"

Xue said lightly.

"No, Xiaoxue, listen to me..."

I said anxiously, wanting to tell her that the last time I was hospitalized was because Liu hadn't returned yet. But Xue didn't give me a chance. She stood up. "Forget it, is there any need to explain to me? You don't need to explain, and I don't want to hear it. He Shi, from now on we're strangers. I don't know you, and you don't know me."

As she spoke, she tried to walk off the rocks. Because she was too hasty, she suddenly stumbled, lost her balance, and jumped down. As soon as her foot touched the ground, I heard Xue scream in pain and sit crookedly on the ground.

I was shocked and jumped down after her to help her up. "What happened? Where did you fall?"

But she didn't appreciate it. She angrily shook off my hands that were supporting her and shouted, "Go away, I don't need your help... I don't need you to play the good guy."

After saying that, she limped towards the road. I was afraid she would fall again, so I chased after her to help her up, but she shook me off again.

I hailed a taxi, opened the door, and let her get in first. Just as I was about to sit down, she pushed me away. "I can go home by myself, I don't need you to take me!"

"No, I'll take you home, you're injured."

She suddenly screamed, tears welling in her eyes, and shouted excitedly, "I said I don't need you to take me! Go away! Go away!"

She left like that. I stood on the side of the road, noting the license plate, watching the taxi drive away, watching the blinding red taillights grow farther and farther away, gradually disappearing from sight…

I walked slowly alone on the road. This should have been a beautiful night, but I had ruined it. I remembered Xue's frown and smile, her joyful face, the deep dimples on her face, and how I once wanted to press my fingers into those dimples. Alas, all of that is gone, buried by the dust of history. Perhaps this beautiful, pure girl I met by chance will forever exist only in my memories.

My nose suddenly stung, and I wanted to cry. I tilted my head back, trying to hold back the tears, but then I saw the moon, which had been like a jade plate just moments before, now half-hidden by dark clouds, leaving only a crescent-shaped crescent. It stared silently at me, its half-arched tip resembling a mocking smile. What was it laughing at?

Was it laughing at my pathetic state?

(Chapter 33, Volume 1: Free Fall)

Some say a woman is a book, requiring a lifetime to read and understand. Others say a woman is like a deep, dark spring, its purity only revealed through exploration. But I believe a woman is more like a multiple-choice question, not because there are many answers, but because you must choose the one that is closest in meaning, most fitting, and most appropriate.

After my meeting with Xiaoxue at the beach, in the remaining days, I kept pondering her words that night, those breathtaking words. She said she liked me. Was it true? Or not? I still couldn't figure it out.

Looking back, my encounter with Xue was brief, only a few meetings. The only noteworthy aspect was the unusual circumstances of our meeting—a client and a prostitute. Was it love at first sight? Or did it develop over time? Neither seemed likely. But seeing her excited expression at the beach, it was a genuine outpouring of emotion. I had experienced that heartbreaking state of mind before; it couldn't be faked.

I felt like a lost lamb wandering a vast grassland, my heart filled with confusion and fear. Whenever my phone rang, even if it was just the daily weather forecast, I would assume it was a message from Xue and eagerly pull it out of my pocket to check. This happened several times during business meetings, much to Xiaoli

's dismay. I called Xue back, trying to explain, but she never answered. Even on a landline, she would hang up immediately upon hearing my voice. After countless times tossing and turning my phone, hope and despair swirling within me, I finally gave up. Oh well, it doesn't matter anymore. Because of this choice, I've already chosen Yang Liu as my answer. Whoever I owe, I'll repay them later.

Because of a mistake at work, I was severely criticized by Xiao Li several times, but I didn't blame her. After all, the fault lay with me, and Xiao Li has always been meticulous about her work. However, amidst Xiao Li's harsh reprimands, I seemed to sense a sense of unease…

My relationship with Xiao Xue took a turn for the better on the 23rd day of the 12th lunar month. In my hometown, this day is called Little New Year, and it was the day before I was supposed to go home.

That afternoon, near the end of the workday, I went into Xiao Li's office to ask for leave. Although she had initially said she would only give me a week, she finally agreed to give me an extra week after my persistent pleading. I smiled and thanked her, wanting nothing more than to hug and kiss her. Before I could even act on my wish, the phone rang. I took it out, and the air instantly froze, followed by my burst of laughter. She had finally called me! Xiao Li glared at me strangely…

Ignoring Xiaoli's surprise, I rushed out of her office, pressed the answer button, and said in a trembling voice, "Hello? Xiaoxue?"

There was a moment of silence on the other end, finally

followed by a long, resentful "Hmph!" However, to me, it sounded like heavenly music.

"You bastard!"

she continued.

"Yes, yes, I am a bastard, hehe… still angry?"

I said in a sickeningly sweet voice, trying to ingratiate myself.

"Don't try to get close to me, I don't know you, hmph!"

she said coldly, but I could tell she was just putting on a cool act.

"Hehe… I wouldn't dare, I'm afraid you'll hit me. By the way, it's so cold now. Remember to wear more clothes."

She fell silent again. I thought she was touched, but her tone became even colder. "I know, it's none of your business. Also, I resigned and am going back to Zhuhai in a few days. I won't be coming back. Do you have time tomorrow night? You still owe me a meal, I can't let you off the hook."

Ugh, how did I end up owing her a meal again?

“Tomorrow night? I…I’m going back tomorrow, tomorrow night…I’m afraid…”

I stammered.

“Can’t you postpone it for a day?”

“But…I’ve already bought the ticket, for 8 am tomorrow.”

“Really?”

She seemed a little skeptical, then asked, “Which train? Where to?”

“Um…T354, Shenzhen to Shaoguan. Xiaoxue, I…I’m sorry.”

I thought for a moment and said, “Are you free tonight? How about tonight? Or, I can find you next time I go to Zhuhai?”

“No, who said I’d see you in Zhuhai? Tonight it’s fine, but I have to finish these things at the hospital before I can get off work, probably around 9 pm.”

“It’s okay, I’ll wait for you. Where…are we going to eat?”

I suppressed my excitement and asked softly.

“The same place as last time, remember, you have to be there first today, otherwise…humph!”

Then, before I could say goodbye, the phone went dead. But I wasn’t disappointed. Anyway, she was willing to see me, which meant she no longer treated me like a stranger.

Back home, Liu was tidying up her clothes. Seeing me, she asked, "He Shi, have you seen the ticket you bought yesterday? It seems to be missing."

"Oh, it's in my wallet,"

I replied casually.

Unexpectedly, Liu's face immediately darkened with anger, and she roared, "Why didn't you tell me? I've been looking for it for ages!"

"Uh..."

I was speechless. She had just tossed the train ticket on the table, and I was afraid of losing it, so I put it in my wallet.

She threw the clothes she was holding onto the bed, then stopped talking and turned to play games. Sigh...

Night gradually fell, and the sounds of advertisements from the TV across the street drifted in from the window—nothing but media junk like "XXX product sends New Year's greetings to the people of the whole country," or "XXX leader visits lonely elderly people before the New Year." Annoyed, I closed the window, picked up a novel, and quietly began to read.

It was almost 7:30 PM when I put down the book and said to Yang Liu, who was sitting at the computer, "I'm going out for a bit. You should go to sleep early; you have to get up early tomorrow."

"So late? Where are you going?"

She turned her head, looking at me strangely.

I suddenly felt a headache coming on. I scratched the back of my head and said, "I...I'm going out to buy some food for the train tomorrow..."

I thought she wouldn't mind, but she also turned off her game, stood up, and said, "I'm going too..."

"No need, I can go by myself. It's so cold, you should stay

home." I was genuinely afraid she would come with me.

"No, I'm going. You forgot, this is my first time visiting your house, I'm going to buy some things for your parents."

She said happily.

I felt a surge of emotion and didn't want to refuse her, so I replied, "Okay, but just buy a little something, not too much, my mom doesn't like wasting money."

When I got downstairs, the sharp, cold wind was like an invisible knife, cutting through everything exposed to the air. White plastic bags on the roadside were blown around and swirled, finally flying away in the dust. What I hate most is this kind of weather in Guangdong. In summer, it feels like you're in Africa, and in winter, it's like Siberia has been moved here. Moreover, the temperature changes so quickly, like grabbing someone from a steamer and immediately throwing them into a refrigerator. People say you don't know how little money you have until you go to Shenzhen; I think it should be, you don't know how good the weather is back home until you go to Shenzhen.

Again, ParknShop, spent over two hundred yuan on several bottles of supplements. Coming out of the mall, Yang Liu hesitated, looking troubled, and said, "He Shi… I…"

"What's wrong?"

I asked curiously. I checked my watch again—ugh, it was almost 8:40! It would take at least half an hour to get to Xiaoxiang Pavilion from here.

Liu clutched her stomach, frowning, and said, "I… my stomach hurts a little."

I understood; she needed to use the restroom. Ugh, it's freezing cold; where could we find a restroom? I looked around and saw a McDonald's nearby, so I pointed and said, "Let's go there."

"Will that work?"

she asked doubtfully.

"Well… I don't know. If it doesn't work, I'll just buy something to eat, okay?"

I'd never actually gone into McDonald's just to use the restroom. But there were no public restrooms nearby; this was a last resort.

To avoid embarrassment, I obediently joined the bustling queue for food, while Yang Liu headed straight for the restroom. The queue was long; after two minutes, there were still five or six people ahead of me. The bottles and jars I was carrying started to feel heavy. I looked around, trying to find an empty seat. Glancing unintentionally towards the entrance, a familiar figure caught my eye. Looking closer, I realized it was Xiao Li, with two handsome men, one tall and one short, standing beside her. It was her ex-husband, Lin Hao, and her five-year-old son, Wenwen.

How could this be? Before I could even process it, Xiao Li also noticed me at the back of the queue. Our eyes met, and I sensed a mixture of surprise and embarrassment in Xiao Li's gaze. I stood frozen, my mind blank…

Lin Hao was right behind me in line, while Xiao Li and her son found a three-seater. I moved forward woodenly, my head frozen, afraid to move, lest Lin Hao recognize me. Suddenly, I saw Xiaoli walk over with her son and say to Lin Hao, "You buy it first, I'm going to the restroom."

Lin Hao agreed and took the child.

Suddenly, my phone beeped. I took it out and saw it was a message from Xiaoli: "Xiaoshi, come out the door, I have something to tell you."

What did she want to say? Did she want to explain the awkward situation tonight? I did as she said and walked out of McDonald's, only to see Xiaoli standing in the shadows not far from the door, beckoning to me.

"Sister Li..."

I called out as I approached her, my voice full of grievance.

"Xiaoshi... I..."

In the darkness, Xiaoli's face looked somewhat embarrassed. After a moment of silence, I heard her slowly say, "Actually, I shouldn't have kept it from you anymore. Even if we hadn't met here tonight, I was going to tell you when you came back from your vacation. Xiaoshi, we're not suitable to be together."

"Sister Li... I..."

I called out again.

Xiao Li interrupted me hastily, "Don't say anything, let me finish. Xiao Shi, I'm sorry, Lin Hao has actually been back for over two months, I just haven't told you. I admit, you did attract me at first. But after spending time together, I realized I only saw a younger version of Lin Hao in you. Maybe deep down, I've always seen you as a substitute for Lin Hao. But now that he's back, I can't be with both of you at the same time. So I have to choose one, and that person has to be him. You... forget about me."

"A substitute, haha, what a profound word."

I looked up, laughing self-deprecatingly, "Sister Li, I know you still love him, but I don't want you to use the excuse that we won't have a future as a cover."

"A cover? Xiao Shi, you're too naive. I don't need to cover anything. Think about it carefully, you're ten years younger than me, and I'm divorced with a five-year-old son. Let me ask you one question now. If I had to take this son with me, would you marry me?"

Yes... would I? It seems I haven't thought about this question in a long time. I remember when I first met her, she asked me this question. It's a pity that Yang Liu later returned to me, and I was so focused on mending the rift between Liu and me that I didn't consider Xiao Li's thoughts. But the thought of a replacement felt like a thousand tiny knives were twisting inside me, a pain that was agonizing.

"Not saying anything? You don't know, do you? Xiao Shi? Let me tell you, Wenwen was actually awarded to me in the divorce. Although I'm capable of raising him myself, he absolutely cannot be without a father. A person's life is incomplete without any kind of love during their growth. Ask yourself, can you be his father?"

Seeing me silent, Xiao Li continued, "Alright, I've said what I needed to say. Go in. You know what to do."

Her words were unusually cold. If this feeling felt familiar, it was because she spoke to me in the same tone on my first day at the company for my job interview.

A few hundred words, spoken so casually, shattered my feelings for Xiaoli in an instant. Lost and heartbroken, I desperately wished for a sudden thunderbolt, followed by a torrential downpour, so I could stand alone on the street like a heartbroken protagonist in a soap opera, letting the rain wash away the pain in my heart and erase my memories… But after gazing for a long time, the sky remained filled with twinkling stars, showing no sign of rain.

Xiaoli turned away, but didn't leave. Suddenly, Liu's voice came from the doorway, "He Shi, what are you doing outside?"

Then I saw her white figure approaching.

Xiaoli stopped in her tracks, saw Yang Liu, and exclaimed in surprise, "You?"

Yang Liu didn't answer, but looked at Xiaoli with confusion.

Did they know each other? I was about to ask when Xiaoli turned around and asked, "Xiao Shi, what's your relationship with her? How come you're with her?"

"She's the ex-girlfriend I mentioned,"

I confessed to Xiaoli, still filled with doubt about their relationship.

"What? This...this is impossible! My God! Xiaoshi, do you know who she is?"

Xiaoli shouted excitedly.

I shook my head. Xiaoli calmed down and said through gritted teeth, "Remember what I told you before? She's that vixen who went to Shanghai with Lin Hao!"

"What! You...you're talking nonsense."

Xiaoli's words were like a bolt from the blue. My heart pounded wildly, like a bunch of panicked rabbits. I wanted to understand what was going on, but I was also afraid that what Xiaoli said was true.

"Why are you outside?"

A deep, magnetic male voice entered everyone's ears. Lin Hao came out.

The three of us stood there, watching Lin Hao slowly walk over with his son. I noticed that Yang Liu's body trembled slightly from the moment she heard his voice, and when Lin Hao came closer, Yang Liu's face turned as white as a corpse in a morgue! This scene didn't need any further description. I finally understood that the pyramid scheme Yang Liu was talking about was actually moaning under this man's body!

"Bang!"

The bag in my hand fell to the ground as my fingers loosened, the bottles inside shattering like my heart... I screamed and started running...

I don't know how many streets I ran through, how many traffic lights I crossed, but I was exhausted and could no longer move. Finally, I collapsed, slumped onto the cold concrete. The dim streetlights cast terrifying marks on my body through the gaps in the branches. The road ahead seemed so long, and countless shadows of trees were cast on the ground, shimmering and flickering in the wind, appearing utterly unreal. Or perhaps, everything in this world is illusory, and the most foolish man in the world is himself. From meeting Xiaoli, to getting drunk and sleeping with her, to becoming deeply infatuated with her, and falling into the trap of love. I thought I was sharing a love affair with her, that I was the happiest person in the world, but I never considered how she felt about me. It turns out that what I was swimming in the river of love with was merely a phantom cast by her on the shore.

If another woman were to hurt me twice, how could I possibly live on in this world? Despair, a despair drained of all life... I recall the opening lines of *Dream of the Red Chamber*, a passage written by Cao Xueqin, which now seems like a gem: "A humble room, an empty hall, once filled with officials; withered grass and dry willows, once a stage for song and dance; spiderwebs now cover the carved beams, green gauze now adorns the windows; what of the rich rouge and fragrant powder, how have the temples turned to frost? Yesterday, white bones were laid to rest on the yellow earth mound, tonight, mandarin ducks lie in the red-lit tent. Chests full of gold, chests full of silver, in the blink of an eye, a beggar, reviled by all. Just lamenting the short lives of others, who knew my own death would come! Even with proper upbringing, who can guarantee against becoming a bandit? Choosing a wealthy spouse, who would expect to end up in a brothel! Disliking the small hat, leading to the shackles; yesterday pitying the tattered coat in the cold, today disliking the long purple robe. A chaotic scene, one act ends, another begins, mistaking a foreign land for home." How absurd! In the end, it's all just making wedding dresses for others!

How many times have I angrily thought of such words, which are nothing more than teaching people to be unambitious and submissive? But now, haven't I ended up with the same fate? Enough, what is there to cherish in this world…

I muttered to myself, tears streaming down my face, as I walked onto an overpass. I reached the middle of the bridge, gently blew on the guardrail to blow away the dust, and then wiped it several times with my clothes to make sure it was clean, before sitting down. Below me, cars flashed their bright headlights as they passed by…

There are many ways to die, but I think this is the most thorough. Even if you don't die from the fall, there are these speeding cars to help you. It's over in seconds, not too painful. It's just that dying like this isn't very dignified. I saw it half a year ago, also at this Qinglian overpass, a woman, her clothes tattered, her eyes vacant, jumped from here. It's said that the traffic police couldn't identify the woman because she had no ID card and her head had been run over by a truck , leaving a pool of blood. I checked my pockets; thankfully, my ID card was still there. Maybe my name would appear in tomorrow's Shenzhen Daily. Maybe on the front page, maybe just in a small corner…

I took out my wallet, pulled out two pale red train tickets, folded them in half, tore them, folded them again, tore them again… and tossed them aside. The scattered tickets, reflecting the train lights, resembled dandelions dancing in the sunset—so beautiful, so mesmerizing. With eyes blurred by tears, I took one last look at this hypocritical world. With a gentle push, my body, like a bird, freely chased after those dancing sprites, and fell. At that moment, I suddenly wanted to tell the whole world: I flew…

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