selfish mother

My mother was a primary school teacher, and my father was a company employee.

My mother was the kind of woman who was capricious and had an eccentric personality. I thought she was greedy, selfish, and cold, so our relationship
wasn't . She was unbearable when she was in a bad mood, but very charming when she was in a good mood. She was good-looking, with fair skin; judging from her photos when she was young,
she was quite attractive back then. After what happened later, I think she was never satisfied with her marriage. Because she was both attractive and naturally flirtatious,
I remember from a young age that she would always spend a long time getting ready in front of the mirror, no matter where she went.

Her capricious and neurotic personality directly caused those consequences.

When I was very young, I had some inappropriate contact with my mother. Several things are very memorable. When I was about seven or eight years old, I slept with my mother
at night . When I woke up in the morning, I often found her touching my penis. At the time, I thought it was very funny, so I wanted to touch
the same place on her, but she laughed and stopped me.

When I was older, on hot summer afternoons, she would often lie naked on a straw mat on the floor, completely
unconcerned even though I was right next to her. That's just how she was; as long as she was satisfied and comfortable, she would do whatever she wanted, without any scruples. Once, I barged into their bedroom; my mother was probably
changing her sanitary pad.

That summer, I graduated from high school and failed my college entrance exam. This summer was destined to be unusual. My father went on a two-month business trip. At that time, I
was depressed and bored. I'm an introverted person with few friends, spending all my time at home. The biggest torment of those boring days was
the torment of my sexual desire. I was sexually immature and had never had a girlfriend. I didn't know how to masturbate back then, and ironically, I had never even had a nocturnal emission. It
was just .

My mother's personality was too casual; she had few concerns. During those summer days, she would always walk around disheveled. When she
changed clothes , she left the door ajar, seemingly unconcerned about my presence. Several times I saw her half-naked, her back to the door.
The impact of these situations on me, who was experiencing sexual frustration, was self-evident. It was at this time that a dangerous element began to sprout in my subconscious. At the same time, I always had a sense of temptation, but I couldn't explain
what it . Later I realized that my mother's "casualness" was actually driven by her subconscious

. One afternoon, while I was taking a nap, I had my first nocturnal emission. I ejaculated a lot, soaking my underwear, and then I threw it away. When I woke up,
I felt inexplicably comfortable, but I immediately remembered the dream. I dreamt that I was lying down, and my mother came over, seemed to say something to me, and then she touched my genitals with
her hand , and I had a nocturnal emission. A few days later, I had another nocturnal emission, and this time it was related to my mother again. I started to develop an interest in my mother
. That's when my brain went haywire. I remembered things from my childhood.

And that feeling of being tempted by my mother became even stronger. I started to secretly watch my mother shower.

Our toilet also served as a bathroom. The wooden door was old and in disrepair, with several cracks. One day, on a whim, I used a knife to widen one of the cracks,
making it possible to peek inside. That evening, when my mother went in to take a shower as usual, I tiptoed closer, my heart pounding. I saw my mother standing facing the door,
scooping water from a bucket to wash, but I could only see her upper body, and the steam made it difficult to see clearly. But for the first time in my life, I saw a grown woman's breasts,
naked breasts

! I stumbled back to my room, my blood rushing to my head. Later, I peeked a few more times. One day, I was squatting in the toilet when I suddenly noticed that
the hole I had dug in the door was very conspicuous, clearly visible, and the deliberate carving was so obvious that its purpose was obvious. My mother
must .

So, my mother knew I was peeping at her? But why didn't she take any action? Once again, I was immersed in the allure of temptation. I even imagined what I would do if
that temptation became a reality. A normal teenage boy has no reason to doubt that his mother would tempt him.

But that's exactly what happened to me. In fact, this shows that my feverish mind was completely malfunctioning. That's why I later felt a deep sense
of guilt towards myself for a long time

. The day it happened, I remember it had just rained, and it was a bit cool. That evening, around nine o'clock, I was reading in the living room. Because of the
heat, a bamboo cooling mat was set up in the living room all summer, and my mother loved to lie on it to read. That day, I was watching TV alone, and I didn't know what my mother was doing. So I lay down on the cooling mat. I was reading while thinking about some things. I don't know how much time had passed when I felt my mother come in (she seemed to have been busy in the bathroom
before this ). She sat on the sofa 　　next to me, also watching TV. I ignored her. After watching for a while, my mother suddenly stood up and said, "Move over a little," and then she lay down on the cooling mat, right next to me! 　　I remember very clearly that my heart suddenly started pounding wildly. The bed was barely a meter wide. My first thought was to get up immediately, but since I was sleeping on it, I'd have to step over my mother to get up. So I had no choice but to stay lying there. Years later, I've always wondered why I was so nervous when my mother lay down next to me. Actually, even in a normal mother-son relationship, this wouldn't have been a problem. It was because I had a guilty conscience, and at the same time, I felt a deep unease, as if my mother was deliberately trying to do something. 　　So, I was greatly tempted and aroused. As I mentioned, my mother usually wore those kinds of casual lingerie. Her white neck and arms were right next to me; frankly, I'd never been that close to a woman since I was an adult. My mother had a scent about her, I can't quite describe it , but it was definitely a woman's scent. Lying there, my blood rushed to my head, my head spun, and finally, I basically took a desperate gamble, rolling over without thinking 　　. As I said, I felt my mother was deliberately trying to do something; subconsciously, I thought she was seducing me. My sudden action was largely due to this. But in my dazed state, I didn't consider what if I had misunderstood? What would the consequences be? Would Mom slap me? 　　Or give me a good scolding? I had some ideas... 　　But nothing happened. I rolled over and suddenly grabbed Mom tightly, my hands flailing over her body, while my mouth went under her neck, as if seeking affection. It all happened so suddenly. I only remembered later that Mom didn't resist at all; instead, she held my hands tightly. 　　It was as if time had stopped; I was in a daze, unable to remember the specifics or the sequence of events—everything was a mess. I...

I only remember that after my mother grabbed me tightly, I immediately hugged her back as if I had received confirmation, and desperately tried to kiss her. My mother actually reciprocated the kiss.
At the same time, my hands involuntarily groped her body. I remember touching her breasts, and then impatiently moving downwards… I don't know how much time passed, maybe
ten minutes, maybe two or three minutes, I can't remember. I was in a state of extreme excitement, my head completely spinning. Then, I heard my mother whisper
, "Go to bed."

Normally, this would have startled me. But inexplicably, I sat up, stepped over my mother, and got off the bed. In the light, I saw that my mother
's shorts had been pulled down to her legs, revealing a dark mass in the middle. Undoubtedly, I had just torn them off.

I cautiously entered my mother's bedroom and obediently climbed into bed. I lay there, facing the living room, and saw my mother slowly get up, pull up her shorts,
and then turn off the light. The room suddenly went dark. I heard some more sounds, like my mother closing the doors and windows. Then, she came in.

At that moment, I began to feel extremely tense. It was probably the darkness and what was about to happen that terrified me. I didn't know what to do. For the
first time , I regained some consciousness; if I had been more clear-headed then, I might have been able to salvage the situation. But the darkness, the fear, the temptation—all of this made me completely lose control.
From that moment on, everything was in my mother's hands.

My mother stood by the bed and began to undress. She was quickly naked. In the darkness, I could only see her white skin and the darkness of her lower abdomen. She got into bed and
pulled the covers over us. We immediately hugged each other tightly.

I was trembling! Really, ever since we got into bed. I hugged my mother and kissed her again; it seemed only that could calm me down. At the same time,
I started touching her again, touching her breasts, and then involuntarily touching that place I cherished most… I felt it was wet

. My mother seemed to enjoy being touched by me. After a while, she started touching me too. She went straight to my genitals, and I was still wearing my pants! Her hand slipped inside my shorts and
grabbed my penis.

At that moment, my penis was limp! I felt a strong erection on the cool bed. But later, extreme tension made me weak and powerless.
Somehow , I thought my mother smiled, as if she found it amusing.

She said, "Take off your pants."

I sat up, took off my vest first, then my shorts. Then I lay back down. My mother continued to touch me, and I continued to touch her, and we continued to kiss.
Regarding the kissing, I want to say something more: my mother put her tongue into my mouth. I felt her saliva flowing into my mouth in large amounts, and mine too. I
felt a little uneasy because my mother is usually very hygienic. But she seemed to enjoy it. So I imitated her. At this moment, I felt excited, and my penis became
erect . My mother gripped my erect penis tightly, rubbing it up and down, as if she really liked it. I felt a
strange comfort in the touch of my mother's calloused hand.

This went on for a while. As I said, I didn't know what to do; I even preferred to stay like this rather than offend my mother. Just then, Mom softly said
, "Come on up."

As if hinting, I rolled over onto her, pressing my entire body against hers. Mom adjusted the blanket on my back so it covered me. At that moment,
although I knew nothing about this, I somehow felt I should take the initiative.

I clumsily tried to do what I thought I should do, though it was all in a daze. Back then, I didn't even know how to masturbate, so of course I was completely clueless.
I wasted my time, my penis just bumping around on Mom's lower abdomen. I felt a bit stuck. I thought Mom smiled again. She reached down
and grasped my penis...

I felt like I was wandering through a maze overgrown with algae, a dark and chaotic mess. I had phimosis; my genitals were numb, without any sensation or depth. Mom
's hand moved away, and I remained dazed. Suddenly, I realized something strange, like something I had never experienced before had happened. I glanced
at ; she had her eyes closed with a strange expression. At that moment, I suddenly realized that I had actually "inserted" into my mother's vagina; clinically speaking, my penis had
entered her vagina.

My mother demonstrated by thrusting her body up and down, teaching me to thrust in and out in rhythm with her. This intensified the feeling of being trapped inside a fleshy tube.
My mother's trick worked. Sex is something you really don't need a teacher for; I immediately felt an indescribable pleasure, as if there was a huge, subtle, intense
pleasure at the tip of my penis.
I heard the bed creak, and at the same time, I heard my mother cry out, "Ouch, ouch!" At

that moment, I was a little scared. Because the sounds my mother made made it sound like she was in great pain. My thrusting was so vigorous that I was genuinely worried about hurting her.
But I was beyond my control and didn't want to stop. At that moment, the immense pleasure in my glans was like rolling thunder in the distance, growing closer and
clearer. Finally, I heard it explode above my head, and I ejaculated.

Aside from those two nocturnal emissions, this was my first real climax. Who knew my first climax would happen inside my mother! This first time, I
ejaculated a huge amount of semen, because I felt my mother's and my lower bodies, as well as the sheets, were soaked everywhere. Afterwards, I was extremely weak, collapsing onto my mother
without moving.

After a while, my mother stirred, and I rolled over to lie down beside her.

I was utterly exhausted. So I almost immediately fell asleep, completely drained. I only vaguely felt my mother getting up and bustling around. I opened my eyes;
I was already used to the darkness. I saw my mother standing at the head of the bed, bending over and carefully wiping her lower body. This bizarre and unbelievable scene became my
last . The next day, I woke up to find the sun high in the sky. I lay there alone, completely unaware of what had happened. I only sensed that something had occurred, but
I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It wasn't until I suddenly realized I was sleeping in my mother's big bed that I remembered what had happened the night before.

My first reaction was fear. Extreme fear, accompanied by regret. It felt like the sky had fallen. And I couldn't
shake the feeling that what happened last night was my fault, that I had committed an unforgivable sin. I spent my days in agony, filled with remorse, wondering how my mother would react.
I was both afraid to see her and eager for her to come home.

Around six o'clock in the afternoon, I heard my mother loudly greeting and laughing with people on the stairs outside. It was as if nothing had happened. When she came back, she
cooked and did chores, everything as usual! But can you believe it? That very night, we had sex again!

That evening at dinner, I kept my head down, not daring to look at my mother. She did the same; we remained silent, avoiding eye contact. But I
sensed my mother was more composed. I was waiting for her to yell at me, to erupt hysterically. I've said it before, I don't know why, but I always felt it was my fault. Later, I hid in my
room, sitting under the lamp, reading absentmindedly. After some time, I heard my mother come in. I felt her standing behind me, and I smelled a strong
perfume. Although it was her usual scent, I could tell she had just applied it. I turned around and saw my mother, unusually neatly dressed.
She sat down, the lamplight illuminating her face, and she looked at me seriously. I lowered my head nervously, my heart pounding. My mother was silent for a moment; I didn't know
what to do. Then she spoke. She said, "Don't tell anyone about what happened last night."

I nodded. After a moment of silence, I heard my mother say, "If you don't tell anyone, no one will know."

For some reason, I looked up at her. She was staring intently at me. I couldn't stand her gaze, but strangely, I stared back at her as if I didn't understand
something . A series of changes occurred on her face, finally settling into a strange expression I'd never seen before. I quickly and
hurriedly lowered my head.

My mother coughed softly. I felt her relax slightly, as if satisfied. I looked up again and saw a strange, mocking
smile on her lips. "What's wrong? Are you scared?" my mother asked softly, pressing her gaze against my eyes.

I nodded subconsciously, then shook my head as if suddenly realizing something.

My mother laughed, a relaxed laugh. She was completely different from before. She seemed relaxed and amused. She casually
pinched my cheek, her mocking expression making me look like a child who had done something foolish. I was about to say something—I hadn't said
a word yet—when, unexpectedly, something happened. Suddenly, Mom hugged me tightly! Her hands pressed my head down against her
chest . At that moment, I felt her intense desire.

Mom used one hand to turn the lamp down to its lowest setting. This was an even stronger temptation. The tight embrace, the physical contact, and the sudden darkness
of the room ignited the frenzied lust I'd felt the night before. I pulled my head up to kiss Mom, and she kissed me back. The kiss made my penis hard
and erect.

I reached into her pants, trying to touch her genitals around her buttocks. Mom unbuttoned her blouse,
gesturing for me to touch her breasts. She pressed my head down, wanting me to suckle her nipples.

After hugging, kissing, and touching for a while, Mom said the same simple words she'd uttered the night before: "Go to bed." "

We let go. Although my bed was right next to hers, I knew Mom meant to go to hers.

My heart was pounding, and I was completely flustered, but Mom remained calm... Once something like this happens, it's bound to happen again; once it does, it's
a disaster. For the rest of that summer, for over a month, Mom and I kept having sex. I can't remember exactly how many times, but it was at least
once every other day!

Later, I always thought that Mom wasn't really promiscuous; she just did it because there was something wrong with her head, or because of her willful personality, her unrestrained
nature. Because we usually acted like nothing was wrong, or pretended nothing was wrong, tacitly understanding each other. We never did it during the day. Only at night,
driven by lust, in the darkness..." Under the cover of darkness, it seemed as if the sin was somewhat offset, allowing me to indulge the devil without restraint. Moreover, our lovemaking wasn't
as fiery and exciting as depicted in incest novels online. It was almost like ordinary sex, no different from my sex with any other woman. Of course,
my mother enjoyed it, and I enjoyed it too at the time. So, when I climbed into my mother's bed late at night with immense guilt, that feeling is still
unforgettable .

This autobiography is simply to express my repressed and terrible secret, not to publish any pornographic text. But since many netizens are interested,
I might as well talk more. As I said, my lovemaking with my mother was very ordinary, not fiery, and that's the truth. For a long time, I didn't even... I've
seen my mother completely naked. As I've mentioned before, my mother has a strange temper and is unpredictable. Once, not long after what happened, at noon, I
pulled my mother onto the living room sofa and begged her for sex, but she impatiently pushed me away. She's usually the one who initiates things; when she wants something,
I have to satisfy her, but when I want it, I might not get it. In our relationship, my mother is the absolute dominant one; she controls me. I've
performed oral sex on her many times. I have an almost obsessive fascination with my mother's genitals, and she likes it too. But she's never done that to me, even though I desperately want it.

The first time my mother crossed the line was when she taught me the "woman-on-top" position; that was the only truly passionate moment in our sex life. My mother was on top of me... Her face
was tilted back, her breasts jiggling rhythmically with her movements—a sight that truly ecstatic me.

As I said before, we never make love during the day. There was only one exception. It was one afternoon when my mother was taking a bath in the bathroom. She asked me to bring her a towel
. We were already in that kind of relationship, so I naturally went in. My mother was sitting in the large wooden tub. She was in a good mood that day, so I took the opportunity to say
I wanted to come in and bathe too, and she agreed. I took off my clothes and jumped in, volunteering to scrub her back. After I finished, I sat opposite her and watched her bathe.
My mother spread her legs and bent down to wash her genitals. She parted her labia and carefully cleaned inside. When she looked up and saw me watching her, she smiled and said, "You know, you
came out from here." I said mischievously, "No wonder, it's so loose inside."

My mother smiled and glared at me. I touched that area with my hand and then inserted my fingers inside. Mom hissed and gasped.
Wanting to prove myself again, I bent down to lick it, but it was inconvenient in the bathtub; my nose was buried in the pubic hair, and my mouth was full of water. Mom laughed and said, "
Never , never mind,"

I sat up, my penis already erect. I leaned forward to make love. Mom didn't say anything, cooperating as I penetrated. I thrust in
and out, feeling my soapy penis slippery inside—a very special sensation. Mom leaned back, supporting herself with her hands.

Suddenly remembering what I'd said earlier, I mustered the courage to ask, "Mom, which is bigger, mine or Dad's?" I fully expected Mom to scold me,
because since we started having sex, we'd almost never mentioned my father, as if tacitly avoiding the topic. But Mom
wasn't angry; instead, she suddenly moaned with excitement, her vagina noticeably tightening... This was also the first time I'd carefully examined it in bright daylight.
I thoroughly enjoyed admiring my mother's naked body. Her skin was beautiful, fair and delicate. Her breasts were neither too big nor too small; you could tell they were full when she was young, though
they sagged somewhat. My mother was probably around forty-three or forty-four years old at the time. She was well-maintained, but the passage of time couldn't be hidden. Her thighs
were somewhat loose, but they had a uniquely soft and comfortable feel to them. Her lower abdomen had some excess fat, slightly protruding, but her hips were round and full… Overall,
my mother was the kind of woman with a certain charm and beauty.

Later, I often wondered what my mother wanted from me. If it was sex, she could have easily seduced other men, and I always felt she had done
such things. After much thought, I could only conclude that my mother had something wrong with her mind

. The matter ended after my father returned. Strangely, I didn't feel any unease in front of him; instead, my mother became flustered. I noticed she was always unnatural in front of
him , avoiding eye contact when speaking, and unusually kind to him. Was she feeling guilty towards my father, or did she only feel
the guilt of incest once they were back to being a family of three?

I know Mom doesn't love Dad. The reason she's willing to have this kind of relationship with me is because Dad can't satisfy her, but she feels very guilty. Anyway,
after Dad came back, our relationship basically stopped. It only happened once. One night, Dad went out, and Mom came to my room. We
talked for a while, and she asked me if I thought Dad had found out anything. I could tell Mom was scared and anxious, but she also had desire.

I comforted her for a while and then hugged her. Mom didn't resist, so I pushed her down onto my bed.

Mom was very nervous, which was unprecedented. She didn't even want to take off her clothes, and we just had sex quickly.

That was the only time we had sex on my bed. Afterwards, Mom was very uneasy. But Dad didn't come home until very late, enough time for us to have sex two or three times.

Later, we stopped completely. A few nights Dad wasn't home, and we were on the sofa in the living room. I made my advances, but Mom didn't want to have sex. She just
hugged , kissed me, and caressed me. Even then, she was listening intently for any sounds outside the door. One time, something really went wrong. That night, we were making out on the sofa,
and I was overcome with desire. I slid down and knelt on the floor to give my mother oral sex. She was sitting on the sofa with her legs spread, her skirt lifted. I licked her for a while, and seeing that she was
dazed , I stood up and tried to penetrate her. She was really dazed too and didn't care about me.

But just then, I heard the sound of a key turning in the door. I was terrified because I was almost inside her. We
separated . Luckily, I hadn't taken off my pants; I had only unzipped my jeans. I quickly zipped them up and sat up. My mother didn't even have time to pull up her underwear and hurriedly
pulled her skirt down. We sat there pretending to watch TV. Of course, my father didn't notice anything. But I saw that my mother's face had turned pale, and she was too scared to move.

[The End]

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