The lewd champion

Origin of the Lewd Scholar: It is said that after the founding of the Song Dynasty, the military power was released over a cup of wine, and the trend of valuing civil affairs over military affairs swept through the court and the country. The court issued decrees and established a wide range of academic disciplines. In the spring and autumn, the emperor personally appointed the top three scholars in each discipline, and granted them official titles and ranks. Students from all over flocked to the courtesans to take the imperial examinations. The Minister of Rites, noting the high quality of courtesans—they were skilled in literature, singing, poetry, dance, music, chess, calligraphy, and painting—and thus sought to curb the vulgarity of the court's military officers and improve the quality of the courtesans, petitioned Emperor Shenzong to appoint a "licentious scholar" as the top scholar… In the second year of Emperor Shenzong's reign (1641), after passing the various examinations—the provincial examinations, the metropolitan examinations, the skills examinations, and the civil service examinations—five people from various regions passed and obtained the title of "Xiucai" (a lower-level scholar). These were Wang Kang from Henan, Sima Xiang from Ningbo, Wang Fu from Hangzhou, Kong Ding from Qufu, and Zhao Ziwen from the capital. All five were outstanding, possessing both academic and artistic talents. On the day of the palace examination, Emperor Shenzong was slightly unwell and unable to appoint the top scholar. He decreed that Prime Minister Wang Anshi be the chief examiner, and Ouyang Xiu, Sima Guang, Fan Zhongyan, and Lü Huiqing be the examiners. (I) The First Test of Impromptu Couplets "Dong! The Palace Examination begins!" Wang Anshi, the chief examiner, struck the giant drum in the main hall, announcing the start of the examination. Sima Guang, the examiner himself, dressed in simple official robes, walked onto the examination platform and announced the rules: "By imperial decree, this palace examination consists of two parts: a literary examination and a practical examination. Each part will consist of five questions. The literary examination will be conducted by drawing lots and answering orally on the spot. The practical examination will be conducted by drawing lots and performing a practical exercise on the spot, timed by an hourglass. Those who fail to answer within the time limit or do not answer at all will be eliminated. The final winner will be appointed by the Emperor as the top scholar (Zhuangyuan), the second-ranked scholar (Bangyan), and the third-ranked scholar (Tanhua). All will be appointed to official positions and receive official salaries. The fourth and fifth-ranked scholars will retain their titles of Xiucai, but will only receive a salary and will not be given an official position." After speaking, he turned and returned to his seat. "The first round of the written examination: A short, lewd couplet. Candidates must compose a matching line based on the first line dictated by the examiner. The line must possess both lewd intent and depth of scholarship to win. Answers must not repeat words from previous responses. The time allotted is one hourglass, signaled by the sound of a gong; one hourglass corresponds to three gongs." Lü Huiqing announced the start of the first round. Wang Anshi, as the chief examiner, was to politely begin the question as is customary. He stepped onto the examination platform and drew a bamboo slip: "Kong Ding!" Wang Anshi drew a slip, looked at the name engraved on it, and called out the name. "Here!" Kong Ding quickly responded and stood up. "Good, listen carefully… 'Lanterns and decorations await early spring.' The last character of the couplet must rhyme. Please answer the question." Wang Anshi set this question because he was promoting new reform policies, seemingly to announce a new era. Kong Ding scratched his head: "Well… I've got it! 'Near and far, lewdness fills the city!'" "Good, lewd intent and a matching line. Please sit." Wang Anshi nodded and went back. "Next is... Wang Fu!" "Yes...yes..." Wang Fu stood up firmly and quickly. After a moment's thought, Wang Fu replied, "Joyfully opening the gate! Haha..." "Good...excellent. Please sit down!" "Wang Kang!" "...Yes...yes..." Upon seeing Wang Anshi, Wang Kang was momentarily at a loss, too frightened to stand, and forgot to respond. "Okay, well...let me think...well..." "Clang...the first gong has sounded." The timekeeper called out. "Well..." Wang Kang scratched his head, deep in thought. "Clang...the second gong!" "Well...I've got it, I've got it...fire the cannons straight at the enemy! Hehe..." Wang Kang breathed a sigh of relief. "This...this..." Wang Anshi turned to look at the other examiners. Ouyang Xiu, the most learned scholar in the court, waved his hand and said, "Let's let him off this time!" The other examiners said no more. "Alright, next up is Zhao Ziwen, the talented scholar from the capital!" Zhao Ziwen flicked his sleeves and replied, "Birds and magpies gather, the flower seeker's lips are in high spirits!" "Good, good... what a fine 'flower seeker's lips'!" Sima Guang praised enthusiastically. "Thank you, esteemed teacher!" Zhao Ziwen bowed and thanked him, referring to himself as a student, clearly confident of winning. "Finally, it's Sima Xiang!" "A virtuous woman in red makeup is on the verge of losing her senses!" Sima Xiang finished speaking and sat down with satisfaction. "Wait, what is the lewd meaning in this couplet?" Wang Anshi asked, puzzled. Sima Xiang was about to stand up to explain when Fan Zhongyan waved for him to sit down. Fan Zhongyan continued, "Reporting to the Prime Minister, the lewd meaning in this reply can only be understood intuitively, not in the words themselves. 'On the verge of losing her senses' implies the climax, which is the expression of lewdness." "Hmm... Brother Fan, your insight is profound. Good... approved!" Wang Anshi praised Fan Zhongyan's explanation with a sudden realization. "Good! The first round of impromptu written examination is over. All five scholars have passed. Please go to the back room to rest for a while. The second round of written examination will begin in two hours. Exit!" Wang Anshi announced a temporary break. The candidates and the examiners all left, leaving only the spectators to comment and whisper among themselves. Some thought "nearly lost in thought" deserved the top prize, some thought "opening the door" was a good choice, some thought "straight man" should be changed to "fierce man" for a more powerful word, and some thought "lust fills the city" best matched the theme "waiting for early spring"... The crowd placed bets and placed wagers. The lively and tense atmosphere in the palace was no less than that of the examination in the palace. (II) Seven-character quatrains show strength "Dong! The second round of written examination begins!" As the examiners and candidates took their seats, the chief examiner, Wang Anshi, struck the giant drum in the hall for the second time, announcing the start of the palace examination. "The second round of the written examination: a seven-character quatrain. Candidates must compose a three-line response based on the first line dictated by the examiner. The meaning must be suggestive and profound, and must conform to the rules of Tang poetry. Repetition of words from previous answers is allowed, but the meaning must not be identical. The response time is one hourglass, signaled by the striking of a gong; one hourglass corresponds to three gong strikes." Lü Huiqing announced the start of the second round. This round's question was posed by Sima Guang. The Imperial Censor Sima, having just submitted a memorial criticizing Prime Minister Wang Anshi's new policies for four major flaws—encroachment on official power, creating trouble, profiteering, and refusing recommendations—was rejected by Wang Anshi. Sima Guang intended to use this question to subtly satirize Prime Minister Wang. Sima Guang drew the first candidate's bamboo slip and looked at it: "The first candidate is…Prime Minister Sima!" Prime Minister Sima stood up, awaiting Sima Guang's question. "Scholar Sima Xiang, listen carefully... The east wind is powerless, and the flowers are withered. Please answer the question!" Sima Xiang fell into deep thought... "Clang... The first gong has sounded." The timekeeper struck the gong. "I've got it... The east wind is powerless, and the flowers are withered; the wax has turned to ash before the tears dry; I won't die until I see the coffin; I won't return until I've slept with a beautiful woman!" "Good, good, good line: 'I won't return until I've slept with a beautiful woman.' Please sit down!" Sima Guang returned to his seat and drew the second examinee. "Zhao Ziwen!" "Here!" Zhao Ziwen was the second examinee, naturally having more time to think than the first Sima Xiang. He immediately recited the poem: "The east wind is powerless, and the flowers are withered; the bright moon is obscured by clouds, and the stars are scattered; the beautiful woman alone guards her lustful resentment; I can only blame the patron's waning interest!" "Hmm... good, 'The beautiful woman alone guards her lustful resentment,' well done!" Sima Guang repeatedly praised, and the spectators also generously offered their praise. "The next one is... Kong Ding!" Kong Ding fell into deep thought, seemingly having some difficulty. In fact, the rules of the palace examination had advantages and disadvantages for those who answered first and those who answered later. In the first round, although those who answered first had less time to think than others, those who answered later could not use the same words as the former. Therefore, those who answered first had the advantage of room for choice in the questions. The same was true for the second round. The meaning of the entire poem of those who answered later could not be the same as that of those who answered first, which was a real limitation in terms of the source material. "Clang... The first gong is sounding!" Kong Ding did not even stand up... "Clang... The second gong is sounding!" Kong Ding slowly moved his body, but was still deep in thought. "Clang..." "I've got it!" Just as the third gong was struck, Kong Ding answered: "The east wind is powerless and the flowers are withered, the clouds and rain forcefully cross the mountain pass, a pillar breaks the silent sky, and the sound of lust fills the passenger boat at midnight!" "Well done... Clap! Clap! Clap!" The audience applauded after hearing it. Sima Guang turned to look at Fan Zhongyan, who whispered to Sima, the Imperial Censor, "Both 'Clouds and rain forcefully cross the mountain pass' and 'A pillar pierces the silent sky' are excellent!" "Next up is Wang Fu!" Wang Fu, also constrained by the limited scope of the topic, stood up in deep thought. "Go for it... Wang Fu, scholar, go for it... I bet you'll be the top scholar! Go for it..." someone in the audience shouted. "Clang... the first gong has sounded!" "Don't rush, don't rush... I've got it! 'The east wind is powerless, the flowers are withered...' Well... well..." Sima Guang, seeing the situation was not right, turned and waved to the timekeeper. "Clang... the second gong has sounded!" "Good, good! This time it's for real... 'The east wind is powerless, the flowers are withered, an old man pushes a cart, his legs falter, no sound of lewdness is heard in the wind and rain, a wanton woman lies drunk in her wet clothes!'" "Oh... good! Good! Poor wanton woman! Haha..." The audience couldn't help but burst into laughter. "No sound of lewdness is heard in the wind and rain, that's a good one!" Wang Anshi commented. "Since the examiners have no objections, then please let the last candidate answer the question!" Lü Huiqing called on Wang Kang to answer, but Wang Kang was not one to be trifled with, and his mind went completely blank. "Clang... the first gong has sounded!" "Good, good, don't rush me... The east wind is powerless, the flowers are withered... This... the east wind..." Sima Guang turned and waved to the timekeeper. "Clang... the second gong has sounded!" "Alright... alright... I've got it! This... the east wind... to the western prostitute... powerless... to..." Seeing that Wang Kang was stalling for time, Sima Guang said, "If you can't recite the whole poem in one go, I'll have to ask you to withdraw from the competition!" "I've got it, I've got it... The east wind is powerless, the flowers are withered, the western prostitute's clothes are wet with flowers, I won't give up until I reach the Yellow River... This..." Sima Guang waved to the timekeeper again. "Clang... The third gong has sounded!" "Wait! The little snake still wants to pierce through... What? Haha!" Sima Guang turned to look at Ouyang Xiu, but saw Ouyang Xiu shaking his head repeatedly. Fan Zhongyan continued, "If Wang Kang's poem is meant to express the indomitable spirit of the flower picker, then it shares the same sentiment as Sima Xiang's reply poem.""If what is meant to be expressed is that the prostitute cannot satisfy her desires, then it is the same as Zhao Ziwen's meaning; if what is meant to be expressed is that the lecher is old and unable to perform, then it is the same as Wang Fu's meaning; if what is meant to be expressed is that the lecher, though weak, still wants to force his way across the pass, then it is the same as Kong Ding's meaning..." "Furthermore, since you answered after the time limit, according to the rules of this palace examination, you, Wang Xiucai, have been eliminated." Sima Guang finally announced the unanimous decision of the palace examiners to the public. A commotion broke out among the spectators, and someone cried out, "Waaah... damn Wang Kang, damn Wang Kang! I've spent all my savings on you! Who knew you would be so useless, boohoo... boohoo... what am I going to do with my family! Boohoo... boohoo..." "Leave the room!" Wang Anshi was the first to leave the palace examination platform. "After a two-hour rest, the third round of the competition will begin. Wang Kang Xiucai will not need to come to the palace again after the second round!" Lü Huiqing announced to the crowd. (III) Wang Kang's Clever Argument Leads to a Licentious Outcry Just as the palace examiner Lü Huiqing announced the elimination of the scholar Wang Kang, the spectators began shouting insults at him. Many of these were elderly men or women who had bet their fortunes on Wang Kang's success in the imperial examinations, causing Wang Kang to feel a pang of sorrow and remorse. "Hold on, Your Excellencies!" Suddenly, Wang Kang returned to the examination platform and shouted at the palace examiners who were turning to leave. The soldiers guarding the examination hall, hearing someone shout at high-ranking officials, drew their swords in alarm; the spectators were even more astonished, as if Wang Kang was about to cause trouble due to his resentment at failing the exam. Wang Anshi stopped, waved away the soldiers escorting him, and turned to Wang Kang, saying, "Why is Scholar Wang preventing the gentlemen from leaving?" Wang Kang lowered his voice, cupped his hands, and said to Wang Anshi, "May I ask, Your Excellency, are there any regulations regarding answering after the allotted time or failing to answer after the allotted time in the palace examination?" "Of course! Anyone who answers after the allotted time or fails to answer after the allotted time will be eliminated," Lü Huiqing solemnly explained the palace examination rules. "Then may I ask, Your Excellency, are there any regulations regarding those who answer only half of the questions after the allotted time?" "Well… you think…" Lü Huiqing was speechless for a moment, then turned to look at Sima Guang. "Yes, I am unworthy and dull-witted. However, I did not answer after the time limit; I answered the first part before the time expired. Furthermore, I did not fail to answer after the time limit; I finished answering the whole thing after the time limit expired. May I ask, Your Excellency, under what law should I be disqualified from taking the exam?" "Yes, yes! Good, good! Clap clap clap..." Upon hearing Wang Kang's words, the spectators couldn't help but applaud in support. "Well... well..." Wang Anshi turned to look at Fan Zhongyan, who stepped forward and said to Wang Kang, "According to the rules of the palace examination, there is indeed no regulation on the time allotted for your answers, but the content of your answers is identical to that of the previous four candidates. According to the rules of the palace examination, you should be eliminated without a doubt!" Wang Kang smiled and said, "What is the similarity? Sima Xiangru's poem 'East Wind' alludes to lewdness, and the poem's meaning lies in 'He will not return without indulging in lust for beautiful women,' emphasizing that although lewd people are incapable of accomplishing their tasks, they are still unyielding and determined to seduce beautiful women." "Zhao Ziwen's 'East Wind' alludes to a patron, the poem's meaning lies in 'A beautiful woman alone, harboring resentment over her patron's inability to fulfill his desires'; Kong Ding's 'East Wind' alludes to a rapist, the poem's meaning lies in 'Clouds and rain forcefully crossing mountains and passes' and 'A pillar pierces the silent sky,' emphasizing that the rapist, though unable to act, still forcibly demands; Wang Fu's 'East Wind' alludes to an old man, the poem's meaning lies in 'No sounds of lust heard on a stormy night,' emphasizing the old man's impotence. How can the meanings of these four poems be the same as mys?" "Then what does Wang Xiucai's 'East Wind' refer to...?" Fan Zhongyan asked doubtfully. "I mean... a penis." "Hahaha... he means that! Hahaha..." The audience couldn't help but laugh when they heard that Wang Kang's 'East Wind' referred to a penis. "How can you tell?" Sima Guang couldn't help but ask as well. "Have you all forgotten my last line?" "What was your last line...?" "It was 'The little snake still wants to pierce through.'" "Haha...ha! The east wind refers to the little snake! Haha..." The crowd couldn't help but laugh again. "Hmm...then what is the meaning of your poem?" Wang Anshi, finding it reasonable, pressed Wang Kang for the meaning of his poem. "Reporting to you, my poem means that the penis is overestimating itself and still wants to pierce through!" Wang Kang cleverly argued, and the crowd erupted in another uproar. "Well..." Wang Anshi turned to look at the highly respected Ouyang Xiu. Ouyang Xiu thought for a moment, then a smile appeared on his face, and he nodded to Wang Anshi. "Alright! Since you haven't violated the rules of the palace examination, you are still qualified to continue the competition!" After saying this, Wang Anshi turned and left with the other palace examiners. The soldiers sheathed their swords, and the crowd happily congratulated Wang Kang. The other candidates, however, showed expressions of helplessness. Sima Xiang approached Wang Kang with a puzzled look and asked, "I humbly request your guidance, brother, can a penis serve as a substitute for the east wind?" "Of course it can! Haven't you heard the saying, 'Everything is ready except for the east wind'? How can a lecherous man act without a penis?" Wang Kang replied with a smile, cleverly arguing. "Yes, yes... brother is right!" Sima Xiang tactfully withdrew. (IV) The sounds of lewdness continued for another two hours. Amid the commotion and jeers of the spectators, the officials of the palace examination, escorted by soldiers, entered the examination hall. The candidates had already taken their seats in the hall, waiting for the third round of the written examination. After a while, the chief examiner, Wang Anshi, walked to the front of the hall and said, "Given that the five candidates are all outstanding talents, in order to avoid wasting the time of the examiners and the normal lives of the people, the third round of the written examination, as well as the subsequent fourth and fifth rounds, will be conducted in one go without any breaks... Now, let's begin the third round of the written examination!" As soon as Wang Anshi announced the completion of the entire written examination, the crowd cheered, because what everyone was most looking forward to was not the written examination, but the practical skills competition that followed. "The third round of the written examination is a designated poem. Each candidate must compose a seven-character quatrain on the spot, based on a given topic from the examiners. The poem must contain both beautiful and erotic themes. The time limit is three gongs. Those who fail to answer within the time limit, do not answer, or answer only partially will be eliminated!" Lü Huiqing announced the slightly revised rules of the palace examination due to the Wang Kang incident. "Alright, the first one is Wang Kang…." This round was presided over by Fan Zhongyan. Fan drew the first lot, and whether intentionally or unintentionally, Wang Kang, who had just secured his place in the examination, was immediately chosen. "Wang Kang, listen… please compose a seven-character quatrain on the theme of a woman's breasts. The timer begins!" Fan waved his hand, and the timekeeper inverted the hourglass to begin the timer. "Clang… the first gong has run out!" Wang Kang stood thoughtfully on the examination platform. "Go Wang Kang… Go Wang Kang…" Cheers from the spectators echoed from below. "Clang... The second gong has sounded!" "Got it... 'Looking at it from the side, it's a ridge; viewed from the front, it's a peak; near and far, high and low, each view is different. I can't see the true face of Mount Lu, only because I've clenched my fists tightly...' Haha..." Wang Kang finished his answer as usual and smiled. "Good... good... it really is different in size and height... ha... ha..." The spectators laughed heartily. "Good, passed. Next up is... Wang Fu!" Fan Zhongyan drew the second candidate to the stage. "Please compose a seven-character quatrain on the topic of a woman's small mouth. The timer begins!" Fan Zhongyan gave the second topic to Wang Fu, the second candidate to answer. "Well..." Wang Fu was also deep in thought; it was truly a challenge. Actually, this third written test was different from the first two. The first two were the same question, so the later answerers had more time to think but were limited by the inability to repeat the meaning of previous answers. The third test, however, was different for each person given a different question by the examiners, so it didn't affect whether someone answered first or later, and therefore everyone needed to think for a while. "Clang... the first gong sounds." "This... white semen..." Wang Fu hesitated. "Clang... the second gong sounds." "White semen... oh... I've got it... white semen, jade liquid, tastes the flute, sprays and flows to the mouth and never returns, first sees kissing, holding, licking, sucking, then sees pushing, trembling, and ejaculating." Wang Fu breathed a sigh of relief and sat down! Fan Zhongyan looked at Wang Fu suspiciously, "Wait... what does 'first sees kissing, holding, licking, sucking' mean?" "Reporting to Your Excellency, it means a woman's small mouth kissing, holding, and licking the penis." "And what about pushing, trembling, and ejaculating?" "Reporting to Your Excellency again, it means a man's penis pressing, thrusting, and trembling as he ejaculates." "Good, I understand... please sit down!" Only then did Wang Fu really sit down. "Good for you, Wang Fu... suck the top scholar and the prince consort together... haha... the princess's small mouth is quite big... hahaha..." The spectators laughed and joked again. "Next is... Zhao Ziwen!" Zhao Ziwen straightened his clothes and bowed, waiting for the test question from Master Fan. "Zhao Ziwen, please compose a seven-character quatrain on the theme of a woman's plump buttocks..." Unexpectedly, Zhao Ziwen immediately answered with a poem: "A graceful lady with a pert bottom, a pack of lecherous wolves surround her, embracing her from the front and pushing her from behind, wanting to take a look at her back garden!" "Haha... wanting to have some fun in the back garden... it has to be long enough... hahaha..." Zhao Ziwen's answer naturally drew a burst of laughter from the crowd! "Good, that's lewd... Next is Sima Xiang." "Here..." "Please compose a seven-character quatrain on the theme of an old woman's repressed lust." "Got it... A middle-aged woman still has a good charm, a dry well wants to be pounded with wood, a man rides a bamboo horse to slaughter the city, a green plum makes the man beg for mercy." "Oh... not bad... the last line would be even better if it were changed to 'the old lady is so happy she screams'... hahaha..." The crowd cheered again. "I passed the test, but..." Old Fan continued, seemingly hesitant, "Since ancient times, the Han and the traitors have been irreconcilable enemies. Now, the Liao Dynasty in the north is stirring up trouble against us. Sima Xiangru's 'The green plum made the Han beg for mercy' seems inappropriate!" "Then... change it to... 'The green plum made the stick beg for mercy'... that should be acceptable, right?"Ma Xiang changed the Chinese characters to "stick"! "Alright... next is Kong Ding!... Please compose a seven-character quatrain on the topic of 'The Young Girl's Beautiful Vagina'..." "Well... I've got it... 'The young girl's beautiful vagina is always wet, on the eve of her first night she wipes away her tears, I ask you, do you have any pleasure? It's during the thrusting in and out.'" Kong Ding answered this round with ease. "Alright! Passed... Since everyone passed again, let's move on to the fourth round." Wang Anshi announced the start of the fourth round. "The fourth round of the literary test is a seven-character poem relay. The candidates must use the last character of the previous candidate's poem as the first character, and the meaning of the poem must be coherent. The shape and pronunciation of the character must be exactly the same. Answer a seven-character poem. The answer must rhyme, must contain lewd intent, and the last character of the poem must not be repeated by the previous candidate. There are five rounds in total. Those who do not answer within the time limit will be eliminated!" Lü Huiqing announced the rules of this round as usual. The fourth round was presided over by Ouyang Xiu. He stepped forward and drew four lots from the bamboo tube to determine the order of the questions. The order was Sima Xiang, Wang Kang, Zhao Ziwen, Wang Fu, and Kong Ding. Ouyang Xiu then began his questions: "The great river flows eastward, its waves sweeping away... Please, Sima Xiang, complete the poem..." "Good, remove all your clothes and await the wolf's plucking." "Plucking the yin to nourish the yang." Wang Kang answered. Zhao Ziwen continued: "The yang rod draws water into the yin well." "The depth of the well measures your lewd power." Wang Fu answered. "Power is insufficient, premature ejaculation." Kong Ding finished, and the first round ended. "Clap...clap clap...good..." The spectators applauded. Sima Xiang then began the second round: "When the essence is abundant, urge the rod to rise again." "Get up and seduce the girl again." Wang Kang answered again, eliciting a burst of laughter. "The lewd man enters the hall and forcibly plucks the flower," "The flower withers, the bud falls, and the woodcutter is withered." Wang Fu answered. "What a 'withered' character... It's driving Kong Ding crazy... Keep it up..." The crowd hoped to see the first person eliminated soon. "Withered face comes from the cruelty of the lecherous wolf." Kong Ding answered the second round steadily. Kong Ding wanted to tease Sima Xiang, so he used the word "cruelty" at the end. "Cruelty is inflicted in the Chrysanthemum Courtyard." Sima Xiang answered easily again. "How deep is the courtyard?" Wang Kang also passed the third round. "Perhaps... what does 'perhaps' mean?" "Clang... the gong sounds!" "Perhaps... perhaps the lecherous wolf enters the brothel!" Zhao Ziwen answered. "Court... cousins all appear." Wang Fu answered. "Gather..." Kong Ding was about to answer the question. "Wait... what is the connection between Wang Fu's answer and 'perhaps the lecherous wolf enters the brothel'?" Fan Zhongyan asked. "Yes... yes... originally there was only one lecherous wolf, how did cousins appear?" The crowd's questions rose and fell. "This... this..." Wang Fu was speechless and at a loss. Wang Anshi stepped forward and said, "Alright, Wang Fu is eliminated! Kong Ding will take over the 'Hang' character." "Hang...the sounds of lewdness are constant in the hall..." Kong Ding answered in the third round. "Intermittent cries of pain." Sima Xiang answered quickly. Wang Kang tilted his head and answered, "The cries of climax are coming out..." "This 'coming out'..." Zhao Ziwen was stumped! (V) The written test ends and the practical test begins "Clang...the first gong is sounding!" Zhao Ziwen was trapped by Wang Kang's answer "the cries of climax are coming out." "Clang...the second gong is sounding!" "This 'coming out'...ah...I will never drink the water of forgetting lust until death!" Zhao Ziwen forced out a sentence in a hurry. "This...this...what is the water of forgetting lust?" The audience discussed among themselves. Ouyang Xiu stepped forward and asked Zhao Ziwen in a low voice, "I am well-versed in ancient and modern history, but I have never heard of 'Forget-Love Water.' May I ask, Scholar Zhao, what is the origin of this?" Zhao Ziwen replied, "Master, have you ever heard of 'Forget-Love Water'?" "I have heard of it," Ouyang Xiu answered. Zhao Ziwen elaborated, "According to unofficial history, Tang Bohu wanted to woo Qiu Xiang, but was thwarted by the old lady. A friend suggested that he drink 'Forget-Love Water' to escape the torment of love. Tang Bohu replied, 'Forget-Love Water may forget love, but this sorrow will linger and never end.' His friend said, 'Then use 'Forget-Love Water'!' It seems that Tang Bohu's friend mistakenly interpreted 'chanting' as 'lust' and was just joking." "Oh... I've learned something! I've learned something... I am ignorant," Ouyang Xiu politely replied to Zhao Ziwen. "Then let Scholar Kong Ding answer with the word 'water'." "The fire subsides, the water recedes, and the waves calm," Sima Xiang answered in the final round. "Easy... Jing Si Hui Jiang Jiang Tuo Tuo Mei." Wang Kang finished answering the fifth round. Zhao Ziwen stood up, muttering to himself, "That damn Wang Kang! Damn Wang Kang!... He always messes with me... This 'tuo'..." "Clang... The first gong is sound!" "This... Tuo... It's really difficult... Let me think..." "Clang... The second gong is sound!" Zhao Ziwen really looked helpless. "Come on... Come on, Young Master Zhao..." Someone in the audience cheered for Zhao Ziwen. "Hmm... This..." Suddenly, Zhao Ziwen seemed to have an inspiration. "Clang... The third gong is sound..." "Wait... I've got it..." In the blink of an eye, just as the third gong was struck, Zhao Ziwen shouted that he had it. "The lustful heart of the woman is not yet satisfied." Zhao Ziwen answered. "Wait a minute... What is the meaning of this poem, Scholar Zhao Ziwen?" Ouyang Xiu asked Zhao Ziwen again. "It doesn't have any special meaning. It's just that the lustful desire of the young lady is not yet satisfied..." Zhao Ziwen replied with a smile. "Huh...who is Miss Ling? Right, right, I've never heard of Miss Ling. Where does she live?" The spectators were again completely bewildered. Ouyang Xiu stepped forward again and asked in a low voice, "Scholar Zhao, what allusion led you to name Miss Ling?" "May I ask, sir, since the beginning of this fourth round of the poetry relay, have the main characters always been a man and a woman?" Zhao Ziwen asked Ouyang Xiu in return. "Based on what we've seen so far, that's certainly the case, and judging from the reason Wang Fu was eliminated, there haven't been two men or two women." Ouyang Xiu replied. "That's right then. So far, no one has given a name to the female protagonist in our poetry relay poems, so I'll just call her Miss Ling..." It turned out that Zhao Ziwen had made it up himself. Kong Ding stood up: "How can that be? Why must she be surnamed Lin?" "Yes, brother, you are indeed insightful. This girl doesn't necessarily have to be surnamed Lin, but since it's a poetry relay, the one who names her first gets to continue the poem's meaning. No one named her Lin before me, please understand!" Zhao Ziwen finished speaking and sat down. Kong Ding touched his nose and said, "Then I'll imitate you... Pingnan is so tired he's lying on the ground... Haha, I'll also be the first to give the male protagonist the surname 'Ping'..." "This..." Ouyang Xiu looked at Wang Anshi... Wang Anshi stepped forward and said to everyone, "Alright, since the five rounds of poetry relay have ended, let's continue with the fifth round of the written test!" Wang Anshi announced the start of the final written test, which meant he tacitly approved of the unreasonable answers from Zhao Ziwen and Kong Ding. "The fifth round of the written examination is to compose a poem based on a picture. Candidates must compose a seven-character quatrain based on a picture drawn by the examiner. The poem must be structured around four elements: posture, action, lewd intent, and expression. Those who fail to meet these requirements, answer after the time limit, fail to answer after the time limit, or give an incomplete answer after the time limit will be eliminated. The time limit is three gongs!" Lü Huiqing explained the rules of the final round of the written examination. Lü Huiqing presided over the fifth round. He drew the first candidate's name: "The first is Sima Xiang." He then drew a picture from another container of paintings. This picture depicted a woman performing oral sex on a scholar, who looked ecstatic. Sima Xiang glanced at it and replied: "Tongue sparkles, yang root tastes, dragging, rubbing, sucking, the woman offers her heart, swallowing the pillar, the scholar forgets himself, intoxicated by pleasure." "Good, passed… Next is Wang Kang." Lü Huiqing then drew a picture of a man and woman having sex, with the scholar thrusting into the buttocks of a woman bending over from behind. "Standing tall and graceful, he enters the rear courtyard, his arms around her waist, pushing her forward wildly. The woman's heart is filled with lustful pleasure, lost in a blissful trance." Wang Kang successfully answered the question. "Good...good...good Wang Kang..." Wang Kang's cheerleaders clapped again. "Next is...Zhao Ziwen!" Lü Huiqing drew a painting of a woman on top of a man in sexual intercourse. Zhao Ziwen thought for a moment... "The yin sits on the yang, the yang is inserted into the lotus, the golden hook is pulled upside down, the scholar lies in pleasure while the woman rejoices, and soft moans are uttered as he recites." Zhao Ziwen finished answering and sat down. Kong Ding knew he was the last one to answer, so he stood up, brushed his teeth, and looked at Lü Huiqing. Lü Huiqing drew the last painting, which depicted a man pressing a woman to the ground. The woman was naked and resisting, and the man held a corner of her tattered clothing in his hand. "What...what does this mean?" Kong Ding was stunned. "This must be rape... No... No... This must be playful... No, no, it must be a case of rape after a failed attempt... Haha..." The spectators speculated wildly. "Clang... The first gong sounds!" Kong Ding still looked suspicious. "Clang... The second gong sounds!" Kong Ding scratched his head and said, "The man desires, the woman refuses, the tyrant forces himself on her, his penis thrusts, a pillar reaching the sky, a torrent of pleasure empties, leaving the woman with regret." The examiners looked at each other in dismay. Since there were no major flaws, they had no choice but to let all four pass the written test. Wang Anshi stepped forward and announced to everyone, "Having gone through five rounds of written tests, the four scholars are indeed highly talented and admirable. However, the practical test will be strictly evaluated, so I hope you will all do your best!" Wang Anshi's words not only made the four candidates nervous, but also demonstrated the difficulty of the practical test. The spectators, on the other hand, were all excited, because being able to witness a live competition of sexual pleasure would undoubtedly be the greatest joy of their lives. (VI) The first stage of the practical examination tested composure. Having passed the five stages of the written examination, four of the five candidates for the palace examination passed, demonstrating their literary talent. However, since this palace examination was for selecting the top scholar in terms of promiscuity rather than the top scholar in terms of academic achievement, the requirements for the written examination were not as rigorous or important as those for the top scholar in terms of academic achievement. The practical examination was the specialty that the top scholar in terms of promiscuity was most proud of. "Dong..." Wang Anshi struck the giant drum in the examination hall again to indicate the start of the palace examination.Wang Anshi then stepped onto the examination platform. He picked up the imperial edict, opened it, and read it aloud to the spectators and candidates: "By His Majesty's decree, four additional expert examiners have been appointed to assist in the selection of the top scholar in this examination!" After reading the edict, Wang Anshi returned to his seat as the chief examiner. Lü Huiqing then walked up, followed by four women. "Wow...they're fucking beautiful...I'd be willing to be beheaded just to have some pleasure with them!" The spectators, their eyes bulging, couldn't help but exclaim at the four women's beauty. "The first examiner is the famous courtesan Yin Ruyan from the capital; the second is Bai Shuangshuang, the imperial concubine's bedroom arts instructor; the third is Fangzi, a geisha who studied in Japan; and the fourth is…" "Hmm… the fourth girl is quite shy… I wonder where she's from?… Yes… yes… she's wearing a veil… maybe she's from a noble family… a virgin… hahaha…" The spectators began speculating before Lü Huiqing could finish her introduction. "It is… Princess Lan Yun from Miao…" Lü Huiqing introduced and led the four examiners to their seats. "So she's a daughter of a Miao official… I heard Miao women are very ruthless… is that true?… But she's really beautiful…" The spectators continued to comment on the four beauties. Lu Huiqing announced from his seat: "The first test is a physical examination of the 'lustful root.' Each candidate must describe one of their own lewd techniques and the 'lustful root' they use. Neither technique nor root can be repeated by previous candidates. The test lasts three hours. Those who fail within the time limit are eliminated... The competition begins!..." After Lu Huiqing finished announcing, he sat down. The assistant examiner, Yin Ruyan, walked up like an immortal, holding her skirt with one hand. "Wow...so beautiful..." The spectators exclaimed again. "The first candidate is Young Master Zhao...!" Ruyan drew the first examination slip. Zhao Ziwen walked onto the examination platform and looked at the beautiful Ruyan. "May I ask what Young Master Zhao's 'lustful method' is?" Ruyan asked Zhao Ziwen. "It is...Five Fingers Exploring Flowers!" "Then may I ask where Young Master Zhao's 'lustful root' is?" "That is, of course, the fingers..." After hearing Zhao Ziwen's answer, Ruyan turned and waved to the timekeeper to signal the start of the timer. Before Ruyan could even straighten up, Zhao Ziwen had already lifted her skirt and squatted down. "...Hey...you...!" Ruyan was startled by the sudden aggression, but remembering that this was a timed competition, she didn't pursue it further. "What?...How could this be...?" Zhao Ziwen lifted her skirt and buried his head inside, only to be stunned by the sight before him. "Clang...the first gong has sounded..." "What a famous courtesan from the capital...! Wearing the seven-star chastity undergarments worn by virtuous women in the streets!" Zhao Ziwen's experience with women allowed him to see through Ruyan's challenge. Through the undergarments, he touched Ruyan's lips with one hand while reaching into his pocket with the other. "Hehe...Young Master Zhao, you should just give up! Do you even know what I'm wearing?...Hehehe..." Ruyan laughed contemptuously at Zhao Ziwen. "Clang...the second gong has sounded!" The timekeeper struck the second gong and announced that the time was approaching. The spectators were completely bewildered, unable to see the secret hidden beneath Ru Yan's skirt. They only saw Zhao Ziwen moving about inside, while Ru Yan wore a slight smile. "Clang... Three gongs..." "Ah... um..." Just as the timekeeper was about to announce the time was up, Ru Yan suddenly let out a series of lewd moans. Her smile instantly turned to surprise, and a blush rose to her cheeks. Her underpants fell to the ground. Startled, Ru Yan pushed Zhao Ziwen away and took two steps back, saying, "You... you... how could you... have time to untie them..." "What kind of pants are these?... What are they for?" the spectators murmured curiously. Zhao Ziwen, now out of Ru Yan's skirt, straightened up and showed everyone his left index finger, saying, "My 'lustful root' has just explored Miss Ru Yan's flower bud, the honey on my finger is proof enough! Please, examiners, verify..." "How could you untie my chastity trousers and explore my flower bud?" Ruyan asked Zhao Ziwen, brushing off her clothes. "You flatter me...you flatter me! This student used a Persian knife!" Ruyan then examined the Seven Star Chastity Trousers that had fallen to the ground. The seven knots on them were intact, but the entire trousers had been cut into a single piece of cloth from the waist down. It turned out that the Seven Star Chastity Trousers had seven knots tied when worn, one on the left waist, one on the right waist, one on the back, one on the inner and outer sides of the left thigh, and one on the inner and outer sides of the right thigh. It would probably take half a day to untie them by hand, and cutting the tightly worn trousers with a regular knife would certainly injure the body. Because Zhao Ziwen carried the Persian knife, a tool for his amorous desires, he was able to tear the trousers and explore his flower bud without anyone noticing. "Miss Ruyan, did Scholar Zhao use his genitals to explore your flower bud?" Wang Anshi asked. "This...this...yes!...yes..." Ruyan replied to Wang Anshi with a flushed face as she retreated to her seat. "Good, Zhao Ziwen passes!" "Thank you, Your Excellency..." Zhao Ziwen licked the honey off his fingers at Ruyan, thanked Wang Anshi, and returned to his seat. "Oh... so it's a chastity belt!... It's to delay Zhao Xiucai's answer time..." The crowd suddenly realized. Then, Miao princess Lan Yun came up and drew the second lot: "Sima Xiang!" "Here... here!" Sima Xiang walked onto the examination platform. Lan Yun, wearing a Miao long dress, leaned towards Sima Xiang, "Your erotic method is...?" "It's... a tongue that blooms like a lotus flower..." Sima Xiang answered while looking Lan Yun up and down. "And your erotic root is...?" "A tongue..." Sima Xiang suddenly felt that Miao women must be very enjoyable to play with, even though he answered with his tongue, the lower part of his robe bulged out. Lan Yun placed her hands on Sima Xiang's shoulders and whispered, "Come on... I've been waiting for you!" Sima Xiang immediately felt his shoulders being pressed down, so he squatted down and lifted Lan Yun's skirt, slipping inside. "Eh... what's that smell...? Never mind..." Sima Xiang seemed to sense something was wrong, but he didn't care much, and his hands moved up Lan Yun's thighs to her waist. "Clang... the first gong has sounded!" Lan Yun slightly spread her feet apart, her hands caressing Sima Xiang's shoulders and back. Sima Xiang untied the hem of her bodice and slowly pulled Lan Yun's underpants down to her knees. "Clang... the second gong has sounded!" Sima Xiang saw Lan Yun's mysterious flower garden, her rosy, delicate, and tightly closed lips like a budding flower. Sima Xiang gently ran his fingers along the crease between her lips. "Ah... umm..." Lan Yun couldn't help but let out two soft moans. Sima Xiang felt he had struck gold by encountering such a beautiful and young examiner, but a strange, alluring fragrance wafted from Lan Yun's flower-like aura. "Hey... Sima Xiang, what are you doing?... Don't just enjoy yourself!... There's more to come... Hahaha..." The spectators, unable to see Sima Xiang's actions, urged him on impatiently. "Ah... Mmm..." Lan Yun's lust was stirred by Sima Xiang's teasing. "Ah!... Aphrodisiac fragrance..." Just as Sima Xiang extended his tongue to lick between Lan Yun's lips, he felt a tingling sensation on his tongue and fainted, falling off Lan Yun's long skirt and onto the platform. "Wow... This... This... How could this be..." The spectators erupted in commotion. "Clang... The third gong has sounded!" The timekeeper announced the end of the time. Lan Yun straightened her clothes and turned to Wang Anshi, saying, "Scholar Sima Xiang's erotic root did not penetrate my flower lips..." "How did Miss Lan manage to knock Sima Xiang unconscious?" Wang Anshi asked. "Your Excellency, I was wearing a perfumed undergarment, and my lips were smeared with aphrodisiac liquid. Young Master Sima was so captivated by my lips that he did not penetrate my heart, and thus he fell under my spell!" "Good...good...Scholar Sima Xiang is eliminated!" Wang Anshi turned to Lü Huiqing and said. Two soldiers went up to the examination hall platform and carried the unconscious Sima Xiang away from the platform. The spectators were stunned, and the candidates realized that something terrible had happened and could not speak. (VII) The battle of lewd arts: each showing their unique skills After Sima Xiang was eliminated, the three candidates in the examination hall were naturally this year's top scholar, second-place scholar, and third-place scholar. The only question was who would be the top scholar. The third examiner was a geisha girl named Yoshiko who had studied in Japan. She slowly walked onto the platform in a kimono. "Oh no!... This woman is wearing..." Wang Kang and Kong Ding, who hadn't even gone up yet, exclaimed in dismay, because neither of them had ever seen a woman wearing a kimono before, so they only had a vague understanding of kimonos. "Next is..." Wang Kang and Kong Ding clasped their hands together and silently chanted Buddhist prayers, hoping they wouldn't be chosen! "It's... Wang Kang..." "Ah... I'm doomed!" Wang Kang cried out in despair as he was pushed onto the stage by the cheering squad. "Go... Go... Go Wang Kang..." The cheering squad kept cheering. Wang Kang bowed to Fangzi and said, "I hope you'll be merciful..." "What is Wang Xiucai's 'lustful method'...?" "It's... a pillar reaching the sky..." "What is 'lustful root'?" "The 'lustful root' is my yang root..." Wang Kang said with a troubled expression, mostly because Fangzi was wearing a kimono. Fangzi turned and waved to the timekeeper to start the timer, then turned back to Wang Kang, who stood there staring at her, looking her up and down. "Clang... The first gong sounds!" Wang Kang began to unbutton his cloth trousers. "Wow... It's so big... Yes... Yes... It's truly rare..." The spectators marveled at the penis revealed after Wang Kang's trousers fell down. Wang Kang, however, kept rubbing his penis but didn't know what to do next. "Hehe... Scholar Wang is really ignorant! He's never even tried to take off a Japanese kimono before?... Hehehe..." Fangzi laughed at Wang.Kang was at a loss. "Clang... the second gong has sounded!" Wang Kang endured the mockery of the Japanese woman and still rubbed his erect penis, which was even larger than before, causing Fangzi to lose her smile and become lustful. "I... I'm not... wearing... underwear..." Fangzi whispered intermittently and secretly told Wang Kang, then slightly spread her legs. In the blink of an eye, Wang Kang suddenly struck out with a palm, knocking Fangzi unconscious to the ground. This allowed Wang Kang to easily see the secret under Fangzi's kimono while she was lying still. The spectators craned their necks to look at the spring scenery under Fangzi's skirt. The guards, seeing that things were not going well, wanted to rush onto the stage to stop Wang Kang, but Wang Anshi waved the soldiers away. Wang Kang, naked from the waist down, climbed onto Fangzi's body. "You... you... want to force yourself on me...?" Fangzi woke up at the right time and questioned Wang Kang, who was on top of her. Wang Kang thrust forward... "Clang... The third gong sounds!" The soldiers rushed forward and pulled Wang Kang up. "He...he...he didn't...go in..." Fangzi cried out in alarm as she scrambled to her feet, while Wang Kang hurriedly pulled his trousers back on. Wang Anshi looked at Wang Kang: "What do you have to say?" "No! No!...This student has already explored Fangzi's flower bud!" Wang Kang replied. "How do you know?" Wang Anshi pressed. "He's lying...his rod had just entered my flower lips when the time was up and he was pulled away by the soldiers!" Fangzi vehemently defended her conclusion. "Reporting to Your Excellency, Fangzi's flower chamber is tight. To avoid damaging her bud, this student only injected her nectar into her lips instead of using his rod to explore her flower bud!" Wang Kang answered with a smirk. "This...this..." Wang Anshi's gaze turned to Fangzi, where he saw white, cloudy fluid dripping from her kimono onto her embroidered shoes. "Alright...you pass..." Wang Anshi led everyone back to their seats. "Great...great...good Wang Kang...Wang Kang will surely be the top scholar...hahaha..." The crowd erupted in another round of commotion. Then, Bai Shuangshuang, the lecturer on the bedroom arts, came up, and Kong Ding, knowing he was the last examinee, also stepped onto the examination hall. "Fortunately, that difficult Japanese courtesan didn't draw me..." Kong Ding looked at Bai Shuangshuang and felt a sense of relief. "...Wait...!" Just as Bai Shuangshuang was about to ask a question, Sima Xiang awoke from his slumber and jumped onto the stage, shouting to the examination officials, while the soldiers drew their weapons and stood guard. Wang Anshi waved away the guards and walked towards Sima Xiang: "Scholar Sima has been eliminated and disqualified. Why have you disturbed the competition on stage?" "Reporting to Your Excellency, I did not lose..." Sima Xiang bowed and reported to Wang Anshi. Fan Zhongyan couldn't help but step forward and say, "Here we go again. Are you trying to force a resurrection like Wang Kang did during the civil service exam?" "No, I'm not forcing it, it's the truth..." Sima Xiang continued to argue. "I'd like to hear the whole story..." Wang Anshi beckoned to Lan Yun, the examiner for that competition, and called her out. "Reporting to Your Excellency, I have already explored Miss Lan Yun's flower bud!" "You're talking nonsense... you're lying... your tongue didn't even enter her flower lips, how can you say you explored her flower bud?" Lan Yun angrily accused Sima Xiang of lying. "Scholar Sima, listen carefully, do you know that the crime of deceiving the emperor is serious enough to lead to the confiscation of one's family and the extermination of one's clan?" Lü Huiqing also jumped out and questioned Sima Xiang. "My lewd tongue indeed did not enter Miss Lan Yun's flower lips..." "Guards... quickly drag Sima Xiang out and punish him for the crime of deceiving the emperor..." Lü Huiqing couldn't help but shout to the surrounding soldiers. "Wait a minute... But I have indeed discovered the stamen of Miss Lan Yun's flower!" Sima Xiang's face showed a slight smile. "Could it be that you know some strange and evil arts... Hahaha..." Fan Zhongyan couldn't help but laugh and ask. "Reporting to you, sir, I am not a Taoist priest, but I did so to protect Miss Lan Yun's stamen by shooting instead of probing." "Shooting? Isn't Sima Xiucai known for his 'lotus-like tongue'? Could it be... that your mouth can shoot out nectar?... Hahaha..." Fan Zhongyan laughed again. "I don't have that ability. I didn't shoot out nectar, but rather... a grain of rice..." "Hahaha... rice... Hahaha..." This drew another burst of laughter from the onlookers. Wang Anshi asked Miss Lan Yun to step back and check if there was any rice left in the flower room, and then asked Sima Xiang to explain the process. "After the student crawled into Miss Lan Yun's skirt, he noticed a strange odor. Thinking it was his own bad breath, he used his tongue to clean his mouth, leaving a grain of rice. Later, while licking and kissing Miss Lan's lips, he saw her heart flutter and her flower bud slightly open, so he blew on it, unintentionally blowing the rice into her flower bud..." "Hahaha...what an unintentional act...hahaha..." The spectators burst into laughter upon hearing Sima Xiang's explanation. Miss Lan Yun returned: "Reporting to Your Excellency, there is indeed a grain of rice in my flower bud!" Lan Yun reported to Wang Anshi. "This...this..." Wang Anshi turned to look at Ouyang Xiu. Ouyang Xiu nodded and said, "Originally there was nothing, so where can dust settle..." "Alright...Sima Xiang, then reinstate my eligibility to take the exam!" Wang Anshi had no choice but to respect the advice of the highly respected Ouyang Xiu. "Thank you, Your Excellency!" Sima Xiang returned to his seat triumphantly. Bai Shuangshuang continued the final round of the examination for the last candidate. "What is the lewd method of Scholar Kong?" "Exposing the toes..." Kong Ding replied. "It should be 'exposing the head'!" Bai Shuangshuang corrected Kong Ding. "Then what is your lewd root...?" "It's... the head..." Kong Ding hesitated for a moment before answering. "The head...? This... this... is too big... this..." Bai Shuangshuang turned to look at Wang Anshi. Wang Anshi straightened his clothes and asked Kong Ding, "How can one probe the hole with the head on the neck?" "Oh... sir, you misunderstand. My head does not refer to the head on the neck, but to the toes..." Kong Ding explained. "I see..." Bai Shuangshuang breathed a sigh of relief, then turned and waved to the timekeeper. As soon as Kong Ding saw Bai Shuangshuang's hand wave down, he rushed forward and pinned Bai Shuangshuang to the ground. "You... could it be... you... also want to... force yourself on me...?" Bai Shuangshuang asked with slight surprise. "Clang... The first gong sounds!" Kong Ding pulled Bai Shuangshuang's underpants down to her thighs, then flipped her over so she was facing away from the front. "You...you...you want to...drive a carriage on horseback?" Bai Shuangshuang asked again. Kong Ding didn't answer, but instead pulled off his own trousers and fiddled with his penis. "Clang... The second gong sounds!" Seeing that time was running out, Kong Ding thrust forward forcefully... "Ah...it hurts...ah...what are you doing...ah...you've misplaced your acupoint..." Bai Shuangshuang cried out in pain. "Wow...this woman really knows how to scream..." The spectators murmured. Kong Ding continued to thrust forward forcefully. "Ah...it hurts...I'm the examiner...how can you be so rude...ah...ah..." Bai Shuangshuang cried out in agony. "Clang... The third gong sounds..." Kong Ding continued thrusting, still not satisfied. "Ah...it hurts...it hurts...soldiers, pull him away quickly...isn't the time up?...It hurts...ah..." The soldiers then stepped forward and pulled Kong Ding away. Bai Shuangshuang stood up weakly and walked back to her seat. "Alright...the first test is over. Rest for two hours..." After Lu Huiqing finished speaking, he walked out of the examination hall with the examiners. Bai Shuangshuang left with tears streaming down her face. (VIII) The Lustful Test is Difficult to Pass, Every Step Leads to Lust Just as the examiners were leaving their seats, Bai Shuangshuang, the assistant examiner with tears streaming down her face, suddenly ran to the head examiner Wang Anshi and whispered something. Wang Anshi stopped and turned around, shouting, "Wait a minute before leaving!" The candidates and the spectators who were about to leave all stopped in their tracks. Wang Anshi walked towards Kong Ding. "What was the lewd thing you said just now, Scholar Kong?" Wang Anshi asked seriously. "This...well...it was..." Kong Ding was puzzled by Wang Anshi's question and dared not answer directly. Wang Anshi moved closer to Kong Ding: "Is it... showing your skills?" "This...yes...yes!" Kong Ding answered hesitantly. "May I ask what you mean by 'head'?" Wang Anshi pressed. "This...this...this..." Kong Ding still dared not answer directly. "It refers to the head you mentioned during the contest, not the head on your neck or the fleshy head between your legs, right?" Wang Anshi answered for Kong Ding. "Yes...yes...yes!" Kong Ding began to understand Wang Anshi's question. Wang Anshi waved to summon the soldiers and then said to Kong Ding, "You actually used your penis to directly penetrate Miss Bai Shuangshuang's anus. Shouldn't that be considered a failure?" "Yes...yes...Kong Ding didn't follow the rules of lewdness...he should be eliminated...he should be eliminated..." The spectators erupted in an uproar. Everyone then realized that Kong Ding hadn't used his toes, but had forcibly inserted his penis into Miss Bai's anus. The soldiers were about to step forward to drag Kong Ding away from the examination hall when Kong Ding cupped his hands and said to Wang Anshi, "This student has not violated any of the rules of lewdness he set for himself!" Wang Anshi waved his hand to stop the soldiers' actions and asked Kong Ding, "How do you know?" "Your Excellency," Kong Ding replied, "my method of seduction is 'exposing one's feet.' Although I later inserted my penis into Miss Bai's anus, my feet remained naked and exposed on the examination hall. Isn't that 'exposing one's feet'?" After Kong Ding finished speaking, the assistant examiner Bai Shuangshuang cried even louder and ran out of the examination hall. Wang Anshi waved to Kong Ding to indicate his agreement and then left the examination hall with the other examiners, leaving behind only a group of spectators whispering and laughing. "Dong..." The giant drum on the examination hall sounded again. Two hours passed quickly, and Lü Huiqing came up again and said, "The second test of the skills examination is 'Martial Arts Seduction of the Seductress.' Each candidate must use various methods to seduce the assistant examiner's body within three gong hours. The assistant examiner can use martial arts to resist. Those who fail to seduce within the time limit...""Those who succeed are eliminated." The examiner, Miao princess Lan Yun, stepped into the examination hall to draw the name of the first candidate. She saw four candidates trembling with fear, terrified of being chosen. "The first one is...is...Wang Kang." "Wow...I'm done for...I'm really done for this time..." Wang Kang muttered incoherently. "Hey...don't worry, good fortune will always be with you...haha..." The cheering squad said, urging Wang Kang onto the examination platform. "Please come in!..." Lan Yun said, then suddenly leaped up, landing on a large drum about two people's height above the floor. After landing, Lan Yun spread her hands and chuckled at the looking-upward Wang Kang, saying, "Phoenix Dance on the Drum...how about that?" Wang Kang was dumbfounded. He knew his martial arts were inferior to Lan Yun's, and fearing she was a master of poison, he dared not pursue her. So, he devised a plan and bowed. "Hehe...I admit defeat, no need for bowing..." Lan Yun laughed even more heartily. Wang Kang then bent down, his right hand tightly clenched but held high, saying, "Miss Lan... this must be one of your belongings, right? It fell to the ground..." "What fell?" Lan Yun was too far away to examine it properly because she had flown onto the drum. Wang Kang lowered his right hand and deliberately said loudly, "Alright, since no one's around, you can keep it yourself!" "Wait... wait... let me see..." Lan Yun hurriedly jumped down from the drum. "Clang... the first gong has sounded!" The timekeeper struck the first gong. Just as Lan Yun flew to Wang Kang to see what he was clutching, Wang Kang swiftly struck two of Lan Yun's acupoints, rendering her unable to move her hands and feet. "...You... you... this is...?" Lan Yun then realized she had been acupunctured. "Haha... my hands are completely empty. I know my martial arts skills are inferior to Miss Lan's, so please forgive me for this foolish trick!" After saying this, Wang Kang began to remove Lan Yun's clothes. Wang Kang reached out and loosened the sash of Lan Yun's long skirt around her waist. The Miao ethnic skirt instantly fell to Lan Yun's feet, revealing her floral-patterned underpants and a pair of bronze-colored legs. Wang Kang's mouth approached the base of Lan Yun's thighs... "Ah...you...you...you lecher...go ahead and do it...don't seduce this lady..." Lan Yun's Miao nature was immediately revealed by Wang Kang's rudeness. Wang Kang's wolfish mouth sucked from the base of her thighs upwards to the flower lips outside her underpants, his intoxicated expression telling everyone that he was enjoying a top-class beauty from Miao territory. "Clang...the second gong has sounded." Wang Kang's hands began to undo Lan Yun's underpants, and a strange fragrance wafted into her nostrils. "Ah...oh no!..." Wang Kang remembered that Sima Xiang had been affected by Lan Yun's Miao ethnic incense in the previous round of the competition, so he immediately turned around and covered his mouth and nose with his clothes. "Hehehe... Afraid of me now, huh... Next time you meet me, I'll use a poison to entangle you... Hehehe..." Lan Yun couldn't help but laugh as she watched Wang Kang fail. Wang Kang turned around and stood there for a moment. He thought that Lan Yun's flower cave must have aphrodisiac fluid, and her anus might have it too. If he dared to enter the forbidden area, he would probably die without a burial place. So he steeled his heart, turned around, and grabbed Lan Yun's feet. "Thump!" Lan Yun lost her support and collapsed to the ground. "Ouch!... You scoundrel... It hurts... I'm the examiner... How dare you... hurt me...?" Lan Yun cursed angrily. "I wouldn't dare! I wouldn't dare! I just wanted to borrow your beautiful mouth for a moment..." Wang Kang quickly took off his trousers, pulled out his limp penis, and went straight for Lan Yun's mouth. "You... you... you shameless..." Lan Yun's mouth definitely didn't have aphrodisiac fluid. She didn't expect that Wang Kang would see through her. Wang Kang grabbed Lan Yun's chin, forcing her mouth open. Calculating the approaching time, he disregarded his still-soft penis and shoved it into her mouth. "Ah...no...can't...uh...uh...you...no...uh...good...die..." Lan Yun, forced to hold Wang Kang's penis, continued to curse, while the spectators below the platform reveled in the spectacle. "Clang...the third gong has sounded." "Uh...uh...it's here...uh...time...is...time...is...time..." Lan Yun urged Wang Kang to quickly pull his penis out of her mouth. Wang Kang refused to pull away his engorged member, increasing his thrusting. Wang Anshi waved for soldiers to come and restrain the lustful Wang Kang. "You filthy bastard...won't you come and release my pressure points?" Lan Yun remained immobilized, her limbs bound. "Hahaha...just finished releasing the upper pressure points...where else are you going to release them?...Hahaha..." The spectators mocked. Wang Kang put his cloth trousers back on and walked towards Lan Yun, who was being supported by two soldiers. He said to Lan Yun, "Do you want me to release your pressure points?" "Nonsense! Quickly release these pressure points for this lady..." Lan Yun was furious. Wang Kang reached his hand to Lan Yun's vulva through her underpants and gently touched it. "Ah... um... you... you... how dare you... the competition is over... stop it..." Lan Yun protested repeatedly. "Didn't you want me to release your pressure points? Don't you know that the release point for the 'stopping acupoint' is at the entrance of your vagina?" Wang Kang continued to caress Lan Yun's vulva with righteous indignation, especially since the beautiful woman was being supported by soldiers. Wang Anshi stood up, and Wang Kang, afraid of angering the examiner, had no choice but to move his hand to Lan Yun's chest and lightly tap it twice. "Slap... slap..." The moment the 'stopping acupoint' was released, Lan Yun slapped Wang Kang twice. She picked up her floral skirt and angrily walked back to her seat. Wang Kang, rubbing his cheek, walked back to his

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