Goodnight, little sister (Simplified Chinese)

(I)

When I was little, my family lived in a very cramped place. At that time, our original house was being demolished, and the whole family moved to a temporary house near

the suburbs . The house was a simple dwelling made entirely of red bricks, with only one room,

less than 20 square meters in size. My parents used a large wardrobe and four or five large wooden crates stacked together to divide the room into two

parts, one inside and one outside (separated by a "wall" made of the wardrobe and crates). They

slept on the outside, while my sister and I slept on the inside bed.

My sister, Jia Hui, was only in the third grade of elementary school at the time, and I was only 12 years old. We were

both still quite young and didn't understand much, so we didn't feel anything special about sleeping in the same bed. We each slept at one end; Jia Hui slept

inside, head to the east and feet to the west, while I slept on the outside, facing the opposite direction. Because it was a double bed, and we were both

still young, we felt the space was quite spacious.

I was studying at a school far from home at the time, leaving early and returning late every day. Fortunately, the workload wasn't

too heavy, so apart from the arduous commute to and from school, it was generally quite easy.

I was a precocious child; from a very young age, I secretly read the sex

education . Those books were actually quite "hygienic," mainly introducing physiological hygiene and

contraception. My earliest understanding of the female body and those strange yet thrilling terms came from

the . Therefore, when I officially started taking sex education classes at school, I

already knew that classic chart and those terms about the most intimate parts of a woman by heart.

That summer, pornography was rampant, and I, just entering puberty, secretly bought some and hid them

under my mat. Those books, to be honest, didn't contain any explicit sexual descriptions; they were mostly

low-level techniques, like "half-hidden beauty," but for a teenager like me, they were still enough to ignite my erotic fantasies.

One summer morning (I remember summer vacation was already more than halfway over), around six o'clock

, I woke up from a dream. I got out of bed to relieve myself (the chamber pot was behind the door), and found that my parents weren't home;

one had probably gone to the market to buy groceries, and the other was busy in the communal kitchen. I went back to bed, but for some reason, I

could fall back asleep. At that moment, my younger sister, Jia Hui, was still fast asleep (during summer vacation, we usually slept in late,

often not getting up until nine or ten in the morning). Suddenly, a wicked thought popped into my head: I wanted to touch my sister

's genitals.

In the summer, we wore very little clothing at home, and my sister was just a little girl who hadn't grown up yet,

so of course she had no inhibitions in front of me. My sister slept in a little vest and panties, with a

thin . She was a restless sleeper, often kicking the blanket off in her sleep. So when I saw Jia Hui

, she wasn't covered at all. She was sleeping with her face against the wall, her little bottom sticking up high, directly facing my mischievous

gaze.

Jia Hui, who was only ten years old (not even ten), hadn't really developed yet and didn't have much of a figure to speak of, but a girl's

bottom is different from a boy's. Whether it's full or not, it always looks soft and elastic. Her

underwear was cotton. I remember that day she was wearing a pair of blue briefs that covered her bottom tightly,

like a firm apple. Her two fair and tender thighs peeked out from the edges, and the mysterious part in the crotch was swollen

and soft. The scene was very tempting!

I stared at my sister's bottom for a long time, and the impulse inside me grew stronger and stronger until it became uncontrollable

. So I decided to take the risk and try it.

I reached out and slowly approached Jia Hui's little bottom. I could almost feel the heat emanating from her thighs

, and my heart started racing. My fingers approached her private parts beneath her underwear. Just as I was about to touch

them, I paused, just to be safe, and gently called out, "Xiao Hui." She didn't respond.

After a while, I called again and gently shook her body. She still didn't wake up,

so I felt relieved and boldly touched her genitals.

Even through her underwear, it was still incredibly stimulating! I only dared to use two fingers,

feeling a soft, warm expanse of flesh. I knew this was the labia majora. Were they

two pieces of flesh like lips? I desperately wanted to pull her underwear aside to get a good look at her genitals (I'd

only seen anatomical diagrams in books, never actually seen one), but I didn't dare. My heart was pounding, fearing

she might suddenly wake up. So, after only a short while, I withdrew my hand, lay back down,

and breathed heavily, secretly savoring the strange yet wonderful feeling.

After a while, I heard my mother's footsteps enter the room, and soon my father followed. I heard

them talking about chores while eating breakfast until they went to work.

The house became quiet again; the ticking of the alarm clock was clearly audible, and I could even hear Jia Hui's soft breathing as

she slept . Suddenly, an even bolder thought struck me:

to touch my sister's genitals with my own penis!

Having succeeded earlier, I was much bolder this time and immediately put my idea into

action . I carefully moved my body, bringing my genitals closer to my sister's buttocks, but due to the position, my penis

couldn't reach her soft crotch. Finally, I had to use my hand to adjust the angle, and with great difficulty, I touched

that mysterious private part through her underwear (I was wearing underwear myself).

Perhaps my movements were too large, touching other parts of her body, because Jia Hui suddenly stirred, startling me so much that I

quickly jumped off the bed and hid to the side. My sister slowly turned over, without opening her eyes, as if she had fallen asleep again

, or perhaps she hadn't truly woken up at all.

Startled, I didn't dare go back to bed. I quickly got dressed and went outside to play.

I didn't come home for lunch and didn't return until 5 pm, where I was scolded by my mother.

Seeing Jia Hui again, I was very uneasy. I did

n't , or if she would tell my mother. But my sister seemed unaware of what had happened. Did she really

know nothing?

(II)

In the first half of this year, Jia Hui got married. She married a computer engineer and lived a happy life. I

I hope she's doing well, I hope she's always happy, and I hope she completely forgets everything that happened between us.

Let it all be a dream, let it all be a little game between my brother and me. Just please don't hold a grudge against

me for the rest of your life!

Even now, thinking back on those days, I still feel incredibly ashamed. Back then, I…

After that summer filled with the desires and turmoil of adolescence, the foundation of my life began to grow

richer . Although I was just a naive 12-year-old boy that year, the world was slowly opening its doors to me.

I grew to love the arrival of night. Every time the sky gradually darkened and the moon rose into the pale blue night sky,

I felt an indescribable joy and excitement. Every night was my festival. When the night was still and my parents were

gradually falling asleep, my joyful journey of exploration began. With excitement, curiosity, and a little

greed, I reached my hand into Jia Hui's bed and freely caressed the alluring

part between my sister's legs that I shouldn't have touched!

After many nights of experimentation and exploration, my courage had grown beyond imagination.

Not only did I dare to blatantly slip my fingers inside Jia Hui's panties to directly touch and rub her labia, but sometimes I

even found her sleeping positions unsatisfying (for example, when she slept facing me with her legs together and

slightly bent forward, making it difficult for my hand to reach her private parts), I dared to arbitrarily position her

legs in a way that pleased me (I especially liked having her legs arched and spread wide apart, so

that her entire vulva was open to my palm), before fully enjoying the exquisite feel.

(Strangely, back then, my sister always slept very soundly and never

woke up ; but as she grew older, she became more and more prone to waking up,

as if she had suddenly become very sensitive and alert.)

Several times, I even burrowed my head into my sister's blanket, reaching between her wide-spread legs, and

tried to study the shape and structure of her vulva using the dim light of a mini flashlight. But the light was too dim, and I was also

afraid that my sister would suddenly wake up, so I didn't quite understand after several attempts. I was only deeply impressed by her two smooth,

tender labia majora. To this day, I still think that my sister's labia are

the most beautiful I have ever seen.

I also touched Jia Hui's vaginal opening. After arching her legs and spreading them wide apart, my sister's vulva naturally

separated like an orange slice cut in half, revealing the delicate flesh inside. If you carefully

touch it , you can easily find a moist, slippery opening slightly below the middle of the flesh.

It was very small, almost smaller than my little finger, warm, like a mysterious little volcano, seemingly

ready to erupt lava at any moment.

I was quite excited when I first touched this little hole, but I didn't know if it was the vaginal opening or

the urethral opening (because it was so small, I couldn't believe that this was the passage through which a woman gives birth to a baby), I just felt it

was incredibly slippery.

I wanted to gently insert a finger a little bit, but the hole was too small and too tight, I tried

several times and only managed to insert half a fingertip. I was very nervous, afraid of damaging my sister's vagina, so I didn't

force my finger in. When I pulled it out, I didn't find anything, except my fingertip was slightly sticky, as if

it had some kind of fluid on it. I smelled it; it had a slight urine smell, but at the same time, there was a sweet, fragrant scent I

had never smelled before. The combination was wonderfully strange and pleasant.

Every time I touched my sister's vagina, I would smell that finger for a long time, but I never dared to put it in my mouth

. I always felt that touching my sister's private parts was somehow unclean. Later, I realized that it was an

unparalleled delicacy!

My first masturbation started from that time. Whenever I touched my sister's genitals, I would unconsciously

squeeze the blanket tightly between my legs, pressing my penis; sometimes I would even use one hand to help. Every time I did

that , I would get an intense pleasure that quickly spread from my genitals throughout my body, making me ecstatic! I felt

that strange feeling was more pleasurable than anything else!

As time went on, I noticed that after that indescribable pleasure, a small

patch become wet. At the time, I didn't know it was semen; I thought it was urine. But it felt

a bit sticky, similar to the liquid that would stick to my hand from my sister's vagina. I didn't pay much attention to

it and let it be, continuing to fondle my sister's vulva every day, and my penis continued to produce sticky fluid.

Now, I regret it: how could I have been so carelessly exploiting my limited resources at such a young age? What

if I didn't ?

My long history of masturbation almost started at the same time as my history of touching my vulva.

Those were my short but golden years. Jia Hui's tender and beautiful vulva accompanied me through many happy

nights .

(III)

The following spring (May), we moved into a new house, a two-bedroom apartment with an outdated design, but

at the time, it was considered very good. My father had traded that apartment a few years earlier with someone else,

exchanging it for this three-bedroom apartment. I still cherish that house (and of course, I also deeply miss

the extremely simple temporary housing I lived in back then). My beautiful but short-lived youth was spent there.

In that house, Jia Hui and I grew up.

After moving into the new house, the sleeping arrangements changed every night. My parents put a

bed in the small room for me to sleep alone (perhaps in their eyes, this was a favor, but how I wished I could continue to

"squeeze" into bed with my sister!), while my sister slept on the sofa bed in the large room (it was

a sofa , and could be folded down to become a bed at night). As a result, those beautiful nights were gone for me

!

I began to masturbate alone, releasing excess passion again and again in memories and fantasies. But

the fulfillment I felt after reaching orgasm by touching my sister's genitals was gone, replaced only by deep

loss and regret. I felt incredibly lonely, and therefore needed to find comfort even more, exhausting myself night after night.

One night a few months later, I stayed up late watching a live ball game

. At that time, our television was placed in the large room where my parents and sister slept, where we could usually sit...

The three of us watched on the sofa, but after my younger sister flipped the sofa down to sleep that night, I could only move a stool and sit

a little closer to the sofa to watch (my back view separated my sister's little "bed" from the TV, so she could only see my

dark shadow).

I've forgotten which team was playing that day (in fact, my attention was never

really focused on the TV), I only remember the warm, cozy scent emanating from my sister's bed and

the smooth, delicate feel of her thighs...

On that autumn night, that long-lost wonderful feeling finally returned to me!

Now I can't accurately describe the tension and excitement of that night. Just imagine, right under my parents' noses

(of course, they were already asleep with their eyes closed), I quietly slipped my hand under my sister's blanket behind me...

My eyes were fixed on my parents, who were sleeping on the large bed less than two meters from the sofa, afraid

they might suddenly wake up or turn over (they were both sleeping with their faces inwards, their backs to me), but my

thoughts had already followed my right hand as it reached behind me, probing into my sister's warm blanket, like a snake, slowly, slowly

, approaching her virgin garden.

My fingertips touched Jia Hui's smooth thigh, then climbed up her cotton panties, skillfully finding the gap between her panties and inner

thigh , and gently slipped inside—

ah! Once again, finally, I touched that soft, tender flesh (my mind immediately conjured up

my sister's beautiful labia)! A surge of heat coursed through my body, instantly invigorating me!

And so, I discreetly and laboriously pretended to watch TV, reaching behind my back to touch my sister's vulva.

(I really wished my arms were longer!) My sister's warm genitals were simply heaven! Finally,

in a state of extreme pleasure and tension, I ejaculated on my pants. The thought that my actions could be

discovered by my parents at any moment filled me with immense excitement! That night, I slept exceptionally well.

From then on, I often made excuses to watch TV late at night (of course, that was only allowed on weekends).

Weekend after weekend night passed in this dangerous game. Oh, how wonderful!

I was glad I never failed, except for one time when my father almost caught me. That time, I was probably too

engrossed in touching her, my attention completely focused on my hand, and I didn't notice in time that Dad had woken up. Luckily, when he

slowly turned his head towards us, I quickly pulled my hand out of my sister's blanket and stood

up, pretending to run to the dresser to change the channel.

Actually, due to the angle, Dad couldn't possibly have seen my hand under my sister's blanket (and I

kept my upper body in a normal position, just very discreetly reaching my hand behind my back to touch her), he probably didn't

even open his eyes! But the scare still frightened me quite a bit, and I didn't sleep well that night.

I wanted to give up this sinful behavior (at that time, I learned from books that

what I did to my sister was called "molestation"—I had been molesting my sister all along!), afraid that if I did it too much, I would be exposed

one day , but I just couldn't resist the temptation of that little hole, so I put my hand under my sister's blanket again and again

.

This kind of thing didn't completely end until much later.

(iv)

During my most daring period, I no longer used watching TV as an excuse to commit those secret and shameful acts. Instead,

after making sure my parents were asleep, I would sneak into their room, squat next to my sister's sofa bed, and

"molest" her. (Sometimes, just thinking about this word is exciting. I know it's

a crime; you often see these two characters on notices posted by the Intermediate People's Court on the street, and newspapers

frequently report on hooligans "molesting women." So, was I committing a crime? And against

my own sister!)

The danger of doing this was much greater than before (correspondingly, the excitement was also greater;

and since it wasn't the awkward position I used while watching TV, it felt even better!). I

was more careful than a thief, but my audacity completely outweighed my fear of being discovered by my parents.

For a while, I did this almost every day, even feeling quite "familiar" with it, as if this was

something I should do every night before bed (like drinking a glass of milk? Doing a few push-ups?). Sometimes I could

be quite audacious, daring to pull down my sister's panties (of course, most of the time I would just slip my hand inside

her crotch to touch her; or when Jia Hui lay on her side with her legs bent and her buttocks sticking up high, I

liked to slip my hand in from behind, stretching it out long, around most of her buttocks, reaching the

fertile ), and then pull it back down afterward.

I didn't seem to care at all if this woke my sister up (to be honest, at that time I was only worried about whether my parents would

wake up, and Jia Hui seemed to sleep until dawn without opening her eyes). But out of caution, I

never again used my fingertips to insert into Jia Hui's vagina as before, only kneading and stroking her labia.

In the summer, because of the hot weather, my sister usually no longer slept on the sofa, but instead

slept . Sometimes I would also make an excuse that the small room was too hot and poorly ventilated, and ask to sleep with my sister on the floor of the big room

(but we slept on separate mats, because we were getting older). So when the night was still and

everyone was asleep, I could quietly crawl up to Jia Hui and do whatever I wanted.

It was the easiest time to act then, with few obstacles (my sister often slept without a blanket, so

all I had to do was lift her short nightgown…), and it was relatively safe; the chances of being discovered by my parents were extremely small (

if anything unexpected happened, I could just quickly roll to the side and pretend to be asleep). So I would touch her for a long time

each time , until I was satisfied. Sometimes I would sneak over and touch her several times

in one night. One night, the moonlight was exceptionally bright (perhaps it was a full moon), illuminating the floor with a dazzling white light, making

Jia Hui and I seem as if we were covered with a thin layer of silver frost. For some reason, I felt a strange

joy and excitement.

At that moment, my sister was sleeping on her back with her legs arched (wide apart, what an ugly sleeping posture!), so I crawled

between her legs, pulled down her underwear, and looked at her genitals. I even used my fingers to separate her two pink and tender

labia majora, revealing the vaginal opening inside (as thick as a finger). That was the first time I had clearly seen my sister's

genitals, and from then on, I gained a deeper understanding of the female body.

Another time, also in summer, after I touched my sister's genitals, a sudden thought flashed through my mind, and I felt

a strong urge to try inserting my penis into her vagina.

I knelt between my sister's legs (she was still sleeping on the floor), one hand pulling

my penis out of the opening of her underwear, the other hand parting the narrow cotton fabric between her legs, revealing her alluring little vulva.

After the warm-up, my penis was already very hard, nodding slightly,

and my mouth was watering! I pressed my erect penis down and tried to bring it towards my sister's

vulva , but after trying for a long time, I was always just a little short!

Finally, I got a little annoyed, risking waking my sister, I moved my body forward half an inch

(this time my knees were almost touching my sister's slightly arched thighs), and finally, I successfully touched

Jia Hui's private parts! Seeing my large, red glans pressed against my sister's soft labia, I was so excited I almost

cried out!

But history often repeats itself. Just as I was about to try penetrating her for the first time, my sister's shoulder seemed

to move! I quickly pulled back and slipped back to my sleeping mat. My little brother was also quite startled and

terrified.

Later, I thought about it and felt a lingering fear—if my sister hadn't moved at that crucial moment, would

I really have penetrated her virginity? I was truly overwhelmed by lust!

(V)

Now, whenever I recall that period of history, I feel incredulous! Did I really do it

? Was it really me? It all seems like a dream. But sometimes I also feel sweet and warm,

for having such an intimate story between myself and my sister. After all, many years have passed

, and memories often wash away the filth and unpleasantness floating on the surface of the river of time, leaving us only with some

beautiful moments.

From age 12 to 16, almost my entire adolescence was spent in this secret taboo

. For so many years, I did those things to my sleeping sister (I don't know how many times I touched her

), from when she was just a little girl whose flower buds hadn't yet bloomed until she grew into a graceful young woman.

Why these secret nighttime actions of mine were never exposed remains a mystery to me.

Several times, my sister seemed to wake up, because I thought I saw her eyes slightly open,

shining , but inexplicably, she remained motionless, letting me do as I pleased! If she really was awake, why

would she do that?

I once suspected that it might just be my hallucination (which was

n't ), but as time went by, I became more and more convinced that it was true—all the signs

actually proved that my sister knew what I did to her at night.

For example, I often noticed that her body, while "sleeping," became increasingly active (though it looked like

normal movement in sleep), and she was waking up more easily (perhaps

she had been awake for a long time); for example, the subtle words she would utter during our arguments; and for example, I don't know when it started, she "

liked " sleeping in long pajama pants, even in the sweltering summer…

Really, I believe Jia Hui knows everything! But I still don't understand why she has

remained silent. Does my sister also want this to be just a small secret between us?

Actually, for me, during those years, I was also very conflicted, especially as we

grew older and more sensible. I often found myself trapped in a feeling of guilt.

Many nights, I questioned myself, but I dared not face my tainted soul—God! How

ugly I am!

I doubted whether I truly derived pleasure from such behavior. In fact, after many

releases of desire, I would fall into a profound emptiness and self-reproach. A deep boredom enveloped me.

I swore again and again that there would never be a "next time," but when the "next time" really came

, faced with the surging lust in my body, I was defeated time and time again by that uncontrollable force of instinct

, and I was completely defeated!

At the age of 16, I was admitted to a key boarding high school in the city, and from then on I moved out of my home and began my

long collective life (later I went to university in another city, and after I started working I lived in the dormitory of my work unit). Perhaps it was

because I was away from the center of temptation, and also because I began to have a girl I truly admired, that I finally

gradually waved goodbye to that period of history—

I say "gradually" because when I went home on weekends or during winter and summer vacations, despite internal struggles and

an inability to control my physical urges (or perhaps some kind of inertia?), I still touched my sister

a few times , but the intervals between each touch became longer and the durations shorter (later, I generally

stopped putting my hand inside Jia Hui's underwear to touch her, and even if I did, I would quickly pull my hand back, no longer daring to be as unrestrained as

before ). In the end, I completely abandoned that bad behavior.

I remember the last time I touched my sister's genitals was on the eve of my 17th birthday. Actually, I had

absolutely ; my body and my mind were equally calm. In the stillness of the night, I

slipped my hand under Jia Hui's blanket one last time, gently stroking her genitals through her panties (

Jia Hui , and I could feel its texture). I remained still,

lingering on her warm private parts for a moment (half a minute?) before slowly withdrawing my hand.

I calmly gazed at my sister's sleeping face, then turned and quietly walked away.

I knew I was completing a ritual. It was all over. Everything—whether beautiful

or sinful—let it remain until my 17th birthday!

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