Me abroad

To leave behind the past, I came to New York City. I chose this city because

I felt it was cold and emotionless, a place where people seemed to be separated by a barrier,

treating each other with indifference. This very quality drew me here.

The job was already arranged in Taiwan, so I didn't need to worry about making a living. The

ugly had already earned me some money in Taiwan; with that money alone, I could live without

working for quite some time. Ironically, this license was the culmination of decades of hard work from childhood. I've always

wanted to discard the past and everything, yet I can't tear this thin piece of paper into pieces and let it go,

because it's my livelihood!

I live in a small apartment. It has a living room, kitchen, bathroom, and a

bedroom, which the New York studio arranged for me in Taiwan. However, the location of the apartment made many of

my Taiwanese colleagues shake their heads, because it's located in a predominantly Black neighborhood.

But I didn't care. In fact, I felt an indescribable joy. Living in that kind of place, I could

let go of the constraints that had been weighing on my heart for so long and truly live my own life. I didn't need to care about other people's opinions or views.

I am who I am. No one knows who I am. At most, they only know that I am Taiwanese, a person of Asian descent.

My first experience in America happened on my very first day there. The person was my landlord, a tall, strong

, middle-aged white man. You would never guess from his appearance that he was nearly fifty years old because his whole body

was covered in solid muscles, even though he was wearing a thick coat.

When I arrived in Manhattan, I called him and asked him to pick me up and take me to my rented apartment. In the car, he

chatted with me casually, which might have been normal, but I had already decided that after coming to America, I would be a cold person, no longer

building bridges of communication with others. I would close myself off. So, throughout the journey, I resolved his questions

with just a few words. As a result, the atmosphere during the drive was very tense. Several times, I sensed that my landlord had something

he wanted to say, but he hesitated and didn't say it. I thought this was perfect, saving me the trouble.

It was probably around 10 PM when we arrived at our destination, my future home. It was only October, but

the temperature in New York was already chilly, just like the city itself. Entering the apartment, the landlord

showed the layout and the location of some switches. After a while, he said, "I need to confirm one thing,

it's very important, but it requires your cooperation." I hesitated for a moment and asked, "What is it?" "I

need to confirm that you don't use drugs, because I don't rent to people like that. You know, drug users are the most

troublesome ; if something happens to them one day, it'll be terrible." He went on and on. I coldly replied,

"I don't use drugs." Of course, I knew this wasn't very convincing. Sure enough, he continued, "

I'm sorry , I can't accept that answer." Actually, I already knew what he wanted to do, but I didn't care. I

just wanted to see how he would hook me!

"So what are you going to do?" I asked, looking at him. The landlord looked at me and said, "Please let me see your

arm . I want to make sure there are no needle marks." Without hesitation, I took off my coat and sweater, rolled up

my sleeves, and stretched my arm out in front of him. The landlord examined my arm carefully, and then he

said , "Just because there aren't any on your hand doesn't mean there aren't any elsewhere, right?" I didn't speak,

just looked at him quietly. "Could you please take off your shirt?" he said. I smiled, thinking it was a

clumsy trick, and automatically unbuttoned my shirt, taking off my shirt and bra, revealing

my firm chest and abdomen. He asked, "May I examine you?" "Please!" I replied simply.

The landlord carefully touched my prominent chest with both hands, especially near the nipples. He

even pinched my nipples and said, "They're really prominent." I didn't move, just

smiled slightly. After touching it for a while, he moved his attention to my abdomen. My abs were from swimming;

many of my colleagues in Taiwan envied my figure, especially those prominent abdominal muscles. He examined me for almost four minutes,

finally finishing my upper body. He said, "I can confirm there are no needle marks on your upper body, but I can't be sure about your

lower body . What should we do?" "You can check however you want," I

told him. The landlord exclaimed in surprise, "Really?" I looked up at the ceiling. "Please do it yourself." He looked

pleased and immediately started to unbuckle my belt. After unbuckled, he roughly pulled off my trousers and socks.

I thought he would immediately pull off my underwear, but he didn't, which surprised me a little.

"Please lie on the table; I need to examine you thoroughly." He pointed to the living room table, so I

lay down on it, facing him with my buttocks facing him.

He stroked my genitals through my underwear, then massaged my testicles and anus. His

movements were neither fast nor slow, but they were subtly stimulating. I simply closed my eyes and let him examine my

genitals . With his teasing, my penis quickly swelled and soon stood erect. The landlord slowly

pulled down my underwear and teased my anus with his fingers. My heart

raced .

Just then, I felt something pressing against my anus. Yes, it was a thick penis rubbing

against my rear. Then a sharp pain shot through my brain. I knew what was happening; a huge, fleshy

rod had been inserted into my anus, without a condom or lubricant, just like

that . I didn't scream; my body just swayed violently with the landlord's thrusts. I don't know

what he did next, because my mind was blank. I only remember that he finally pulled his penis out of my body

and rubbed it back and forth with both of us. Soon, my lust reached its peak,

my vision went black, and I felt a jolt of electricity run through my body. Then, a thick, white liquid spurted from my glans

. I collapsed… When I regained consciousness, the landlord was gone, and I was still lying

on the living room table. When I got up, I found myself covered in sticky stuff. I didn't bother wiping it; I just walked naked

to the window and looked at the world outside. People were coming and going on the street, just like always, but I knew then what

I had chosen in life.

Time flies; it's been over a month since I arrived in New York. My life is slowly settling in, and I'm

gradually becoming familiar with the environment. I'm still the same as before, not very sociable, so

I only have a few friends at the studio, and I don't interact much with my neighbors. I

know this is a withdrawn personality, but I don't want to change it. This is the life I've chosen; I want to live for myself, and

I want to live the life I've arranged for myself happily.

Since my first day in America, after having a relationship with my landlord, we've met a few more times, each time

ending quickly and without much fanfare. I call him Mr. Burke, to replace the landlord's title. Mr. Burke is married; he

has a wife and a son. He said he maintains a normal facade at home, but only when he comes to my place can he shed

his pretense and fully enjoy himself. I met Mrs. Burke once; she was a middle-aged woman,

brought by Mr. Burke. The three of us had a very pleasant conversation that time, so Mrs. Burke had a very

good impression of me.

I knew what Mr. Burke was planning; this way, he could juggle his normal family life and his

true sexual orientation. Although it was very unfair to Mrs. Burke, I didn't want to get involved in other

people's affairs, so I went along with Mr. Burke. After all, I needed sexual comfort, so wasn't it

a win-win situation ? A few days before Christmas, Mr. Burke called me and invited me to his house to celebrate

Christmas together. This put me in a difficult position. I really didn't want to get involved with outsiders because it was a big day for family

gatherings , with many relatives attending, and I dreaded those occasions. But Mr. Burke's repeated invitations

made me feel bad about refusing, so I agreed.

Early on Christmas Eve, I arrived at the Burke's house. Mrs. Burke had asked me to come early to help

decorate the house. Americans like to put a Christmas tree indoors and hang stars, sequins, and small lights on it

. Mrs. Burke went out shopping after I arrived. Their son, a high school student of

seventeen or eighteen, had gone to a classmate's house early that morning, so I hadn't run into him when I arrived. That meant

only the landlord and I were left in the house.

After we finished with the Christmas tree, Mr. Burke started groping me. I smiled at him, "This is your house,

would you dare play around with me here?" He unzipped my pants, saying, "What's there to be afraid of?

It's just the two of us here." "But we can't do it here!" By then, my pants and underwear were already

off. He stroked my penis with one hand and unbuttoned my shirt with the other, saying, "Come on,

let's go to my son's room." And so, we went to his son's room, where the two men enjoyed their carnal pleasure

.

After a wave of numbness and muscle tremors, I collapsed onto the bed. Watching Mr. Burke slowly

put on his clothes, I felt incredibly tired. I said, "Let me lie down here

for a bit ." He said, "Okay, but if anyone comes, you'd better get up quickly." "Okay! No problem,

you go do your work!" I replied.

So, I lay in bed in this room, reminiscing about the past, about things I had almost

forgotten. As I thought, my eyelids grew heavy, and then I drifted off

to sleep. The boy went into his room, took some books out of his backpack, mostly NBA

magazines, and sat down at his desk, flipping through one of them. At that moment, he noticed a man lying on

the bed —a naked Asian man.

The boy was startled, but quickly regained his composure, because he vaguely knew who this man was. Although

he had never seen the man lying in bed, he knew something about him from his parents. The boy

looked at him questioningly, wondering why he was sleeping there, and without clothes. The boy stopped

thinking about it, because he was deeply attracted to the sleeping man. The man lying in bed had

a great physique; his pectoral muscles were so attractive and smooth, and his abs—those six prominent

muscles —were something the boy had never developed and dreamed of. He continued reading, and saw a clump of dark hair

alongside a half-erect penis. The sight caused the boy's genitals to swell involuntarily, and his mouth

remained agape.

The boy tried to touch the man's body, gently touching his chest. He found the man was fast asleep,

completely unaware. The boy swallowed hard, then, mustering his courage, pinched the man

's nipple between his fingers. He slowly squeezed the nipple, but the man's only reaction was occasional twitching or making some meaningless

noise. The boy was still hesitant; he feared the man might suddenly wake up, which would be very awkward.

But he realized the man was truly fast asleep, and thus, the boy gradually became bolder. He caressed

the man's body, not missing an inch. Finally, his hand stopped between the man's legs,

on .

The boy grasped the man's penis and rhythmically rubbed it up and down. Suddenly, the man rolled over.

This action startled the boy. He stared at the man for a moment, then breathed a sigh of relief.

The man had simply changed position. The boy's

eyes lit up ; he realized the man's current sleeping position was perfect, as he was lying face down on the bed. The boy put his finger in his mouth, thoroughly wetting it, then slowly slid it to the man's anus. He tentatively touched the man's rear, but the man didn't react. Then, the boy boldly inserted his finger into the man's genital area. 　　He found the process wasn't as difficult as he'd imagined, so he increased the number of fingers from one to two. 　　While inserting his finger into the man's anus, the boy kneaded the man's buttocks with his hand. The plump, wheat-colored buttocks felt like kneading a lump of dough, and grasping those firm, elastic buttocks gave him a sense of superiority. 　　At that moment, everything the boy did stopped. His fingers inserted into the man's anus, his hand caressing the man's buttocks—even the boy himself could feel his heart stop beating. Why? Because he saw a pair of eyes staring at him. The man lying on the bed woke up. 　　I stared at the boy in front of me, and panicked. He had seen me lying naked on his bed.

What should I do? Although I was incredibly anxious, I didn't show it on my face. I looked at him, and

he immediately stuck his hand out of my anus, then said, "I'm sorry, I..." I immediately realized he

was even more panicked than I was, so I quickly turned the tables and coldly said, "You figure it out yourself!" Then I got up,

turned my back to him, put on my clothes, and walked out without looking at him. After I went outside, I breathed a

sigh of relief . That was close! If he hadn't been such a naive kid, I would have been finished. I

almost got into trouble.

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