How is a stepfather made?

Now let me tell you about my classmate. He's older than all of us, two years older. He started school late and repeated a grade because he didn't do well in school. His family was incredibly poor, practically destitute. His mother had long wanted to stop him from going to school. His father was in poor health, and his mother wasn't much better. I don't know how they raised such a tall son. I was fifteen then, and he was seventeen, already over 1.8 meters tall, with a very well-proportioned figure and a lot of muscle. He was just a bit dark-skinned, and apart from resembling his parents in appearance, he didn't look like them at all. You've probably all seen those kinds of people in school—they're terrible at studying, no matter how hard they try. It's not that they don't want to learn, it's just that their efforts don't work. But they're incredibly talented at other things. My classmate was that kind of person. And he was particularly interested in me—maybe that's not the right word. Anyway, you know, transfer students in a new environment are either bullied or isolated, and I was the latter. But he was the first one to take the initiative to befriend me. To this day, I don't know, and I don't dare ask, if he genuinely wanted to be friends with me, or if he was already interested in my mother from the start. This guy, though big and clever, was also a bit naive. He always wanted me to talk about things in the city. I was mischievous back then, so I bragged to him, and he started to admire me a little. I bragged about how I could take on several people at once in a fight, and about the delicious food in the city. As I mentioned before, his family was incredibly poor. His father was useless, and his mother, being a woman, had to do everything since he was little. He could do almost anything. His mother had long wanted him to stay in school and come home to work, but the principal insisted on keeping him. Back then, there was an assessment of compulsory education targets, and dropout rate was one of the assessment criteria. The principal personally took care of his mother's job. He waived all fees, which barely allowed him to stay. So, as I told you, this was a very complicated matter; many factors had to be missing for it to work.

After that, we became close, I forget exactly when it started, but it must have started as soon as we arrived. After we got to know each other, he would sometimes come with me to my mother's dormitory. As I mentioned before, that dormitory was slightly better, but it was still a dilapidated house. Putting everything else aside, the windows were the old-fashioned wooden-framed windows, long rotten, painted green—the kind of wooden-framed windows that used to be common in rural schools in northern China, often broken into four pieces. The door was also in bad shape. He found some wooden strips, a hammer, and nails and fixed the windows for my mom, basically just reinforcing them. He also patched up the gaps in the door. Later, another time, I was sitting in a chair in the room, and it was a bit wobbly. The next day, he fixed the chair in the room for my mom, along with the chairs in the classroom and the teacher's desk. I think that's when he probably started to like my mom. Now, let me talk about my mom. My mom is the plump type, with a round face and short hair. She's 1.63 meters tall and weighs 130 kilograms—that's how it was back then—especially her large breasts. My mom never wears tight clothes in the summer, and she still does now, afraid that her breasts will show and she'll feel ugly. She also rarely wears a bra, because wearing a bra would just make her breasts look even bigger; she only wears white tank tops. Then, two years ago, I saw one of her bras. We're all grown up now and don't care about these things anymore. When I looked at the bra, I saw that my mom had removed the metal bars from it. I told my mom, "Why are you taking it apart?" She said, "It's so tight, how can I face people outside?" You can imagine how conservative my mom is, even in this day and age. But maybe, perhaps Lao Niu—my classmate's surname is Niu, everyone calls him Lao Niu—is just someone who likes this kind of thing. Sometimes I wonder if it's related to the fact that he didn't have much contact with women growing up.

Then, as mentioned earlier, he was fixing doors, windows, and chairs, and it was November. It's cold in the mountains, so in November, we need to light the stove. We used to have Western-style stoves when we were kids, right? My mom's dorm had one. Lao Niu did all the work installing the stove, including the body and the chimney; my mom and I didn't even lift a finger. After that, Lao Niu would fix the chimney once a week. Lao Niu has one good point: he's quick-witted, but not good with words, and he doesn't talk nonsense. If he were to be glib and slick while working, my mom would probably have seen through his ulterior motives long ago. He was truly a hard worker. Later, my mom simply moved us to be deskmates because Lao Niu (Liu Xiujuan) was very attentive in class. My mom wasn't worried about us whispering during class; in fact, she wanted Lao Niu to mentor me. But this seating arrangement had a surprising effect. While others didn't notice, I discovered that Lao Niu wasn't paying attention in class at all. To say he wasn't paying attention might be an exaggeration, but half of his attention was fixed on my mom, not on the chalk in her hand. Most importantly, sometimes he was writing notes on slips of paper, not taking notes, just scribbling randomly. When I asked him what he was writing, he wouldn't show me. I thought he had a crush on our class monitor, who was a girl and quite pretty. Later, when he wasn't around, I secretly rummaged through his desk. There was a wad of notes inside, and when I opened them, they were all filled with my mom's name. Some said "Xiujuan, I love you," and my mom's name was Liu Xiujuan. The rest said "Juan, I love you," or several "Juan"s in a row. I was stunned. I had a feeling, but I didn't expect him to be this obsessed. Then I started thinking about what I should do.

Strangely, I was a little angry, and although my heart was pounding and my face was flushed, I was very calm as I considered the matter. I felt excited, nervous, and all sorts of emotions, but not at all panicked. Even now, I think I was remarkably calm when I was thinking about this. Of course, now it seems like that kind of calmness was just a childish joke, different from true calmness. I hadn't thought through the cause and effect at all, relying entirely on my childish considerations, lacking an understanding of the consequences, only lacking the anger I felt. I actually already had a plan in mind, but it took me a few days to finalize it. I felt I should help him. Don't laugh at me for why I should help him; I was only 15 at the time. I was thinking that if Lao Niu and I got together, and if Lao Niu also got together with my mom, then my mom wouldn't be so strict with me because of Lao Niu. If I did anything wrong, Lao Niu could talk to my mom on my behalf, and my life would be easier. Honestly, I was so naive and childish back then. Only a teenager would have such a naive idea, but that was the conclusion I reached after several days of consideration. Later, I thought for several more days about how to help him, and finally decided on a risky method.

Winters in the mountains are cold. The boys' dormitory is so big with two heated brick beds, but only two small stoves, and they're stingy with coal. I had moved to my mom's dormitory a long time ago to live with her. So I decided to talk to my mom and ask her to agree to let Lao Niu move in too. Whether it worked out or not depended on Lao Niu's own abilities. My mom knew the boys' dormitory was indeed cold, and Lao Niu and I were good friends. She also had a good impression of Lao Niu—not just a romantic impression, but pure admiration—so she agreed. I slept in one bed with Lao Niu, which he helped build with bricks and planks, with a curtain in the middle. My mom slept on the other side of the curtain. The house wasn't big, so the actual space between rooms was only about a meter. Lao Niu moved in in December, I forget the exact date. When he moved in, he was preparing water for my mom to wash her feet, and he even wanted to pour it out for her, but my mom stopped him, making her feel embarrassed. However, I could clearly sense his excitement. But even though I saw his excitement, for the first three or four days after he arrived, besides preparing water for my mom to wash her feet—though that only happened one day—he didn't do anything substantial.

Then, on Sunday night that week, Lao Niu came back from home with some sweet potatoes, and we roasted them in the ashes. After roasting the sweet potatoes, we washed up and went to bed. Around midnight—I don't know what time it was now, maybe one or two in the morning—I woke up to hear noises in the room: panting, whispering, and the bed creaking. I reached out and Lao Niu was gone; the blankets were still slightly warm. I knew he must have succeeded, because my mom hadn't called out. Looking back now, it's scary. What if my mom hadn't wanted to? If she'd screamed when Lao Niu got on top of her, it would have been a real problem. So I crawled over and lifted a corner of the curtain. I could see two people moving on top of each other in my mom's bed. A little while later, I could see clearly: Lao Niu was on top of my mom. Both of their upper bodies were exposed, their lower bodies covered by the blanket. Both of them were completely naked from the waist up. When I was sleeping, Lao Niu was wearing a vest, and my mom was wearing a thermal undershirt. By this time, I don't know when Lao Niu had stripped them naked. Lao Niu was grabbing my mom's arm, trying to press it against the pillow. My mom was resisting him with all her might. Because her upper body was naked, you could see her breasts shaking violently in front of her chest when she struggled, like two water bags, her nipples twitching. Both of them were panting, and there was a lot of movement under the blanket, probably my mom kicking.

At that moment, I heard Lao Niu whisper to my mom, "Juan, listen to me, don't move." My mom's voice was both angry and anxious, but she tried to keep it very low, saying, "Get down, get down now." The two of them were just struggling like that. Lao Niu said again, "Don't make a sound, don't make a sound, stay still." My mom said, "Stop it, get down now." You see, my mom is a woman, and Lao Niu was used to doing chores since he was a child. In the end, Lao Niu forced my mom's hand to the side of the pillow. My mom got really anxious and started kicking him. She kicked him and said, "Stop it, or I'll really scream!" As soon as my mom finished speaking, Lao Niu grunted, took a breath, and then my mom let out a scream and stopped moving, her legs stopped kicking, and the bed suddenly became quiet. After a while, Lao Niu started moving, and as soon as he moved, my mom screamed again. Lao Niu quickly covered my mom's mouth and said, "Don't make a sound." My mom struggled to get away from his hand and said, "No, I'm going to scream, I can't take it anymore." Old Niu picked up something from the side, probably my mom's underwear or vest or something, I couldn't see clearly, and stuffed it into my mom's mouth. Then, while moving, he said, "Juan, don't make a sound, I'll be done in a bit." After a while, he let go of my mom's hand, and my mom stopped pushing him away. He had just pressed my mom's hand against the pillow, and although he let go, my mom's hand remained in that position, not moving. He pressed down on my mom, panting and moving, and started kneading my mom's breasts like kneading steamed buns, saying while kneading, "Juan, you're so good, Juan, I love you so much, I'm so happy, so comfortable, Juan, I've wanted you for more than just a day or two, I'm so happy." My mom couldn't make a sound because her mouth was stuffed with something, she could only moan softly. He was also sucking on my mom's nipples while he was fucking her. My mom was moaning and groaning, but Old Niu didn't care at all, he just kept talking nonsense, and he was fucking her hard. About ten minutes later, he suddenly lifted his upper body off my mother, grabbed her breasts tightly with both hands, and even though my mother had her mouth covered, she still let out a loud groan. He let out a low growl, then collapsed onto my mother, panting heavily.

After a while, Lao Niu finally rolled off my mother, removed the object from her mouth, and tried to pull her into his arms. My mother pushed him away and lay there panting. He then leaned closer to my mother and asked, "Juan, are you in pain?" As an aside, I've seen Lao Niu's penis before. When we urinated together, it was dark and thick. I've never seen it erect, but when it was flaccid, I'd estimate it was about five inches. I guess my mom was really hurt by him, and since she wasn't really prepared for this, she was a bit flustered. He just kept pushing himself on, which really annoyed her. She pushed him aside, rolled over so her face was facing me, and her back was to Lao Niu. I was so startled that my hand trembled and I quickly pulled the curtain down. I don't know if my mom saw it, but then I heard her start crying. Soft sobs, and then I heard Lao Niu's voice. I thought to myself, it feels like something out of a TV drama about a villain raping an innocent woman. When Lao Niu was with my mom, he was like a completely different person, spouting sweet nothings that he wouldn't normally say. By then, the curtain was down, so I couldn't hear very well anymore. Then I lay down on my side and heard my mom crying softly and Lao Niu talking quietly. Afterwards, embarrassingly, I touched my penis a few times under the covers and ejaculated inside. Then I drifted off to sleep.

I had no idea what happened after that. When I woke up the next day, they were both gone. It was already past seven, well past morning reading time, and no one woke me. I quickly got up, washed my face, got dressed, and went to morning reading. When I entered the classroom, my mom glanced at me but didn't say anything. Then I went to my seat next to mine, and Lao Niu didn't even look at me, just staring at his book. That day, I felt like my mom was acting like nothing had happened, but Lao Niu seemed a bit unsettled. When I got back to the dorm that night, I found that Lao Niu had already moved out. I assumed my mom had kicked him out, so I didn't dare ask her. However, a few years later, when I asked Lao Niu, he said he moved out on his own. Actually, he felt guilty; my mom ignored him the next morning, and he was terrified, so he moved out that afternoon. Of course, that's another story.

I was actually scared, afraid my mom would blame me. For the past few days, Lao Niu had been a bit dazed. I considered giving up, but I was unwilling to give up so easily, so I pretended I knew nothing. A few days later, I told my mom, "How about letting Lao Niu come back to live here?" I didn't mention him moving out. I said it was too cold for him to care about his pride. My mom said, "I don't care. Let him come back if he wants. It's up to you." I felt my mom might have tacitly agreed, so I went to find Lao Niu again. Lao Niu absolutely refused to come back. Later, I got impatient and told him my mom said she didn't care if he came back or not. Then he probably understood something and stopped arguing with me. Then I moved back. Actually, I was a little uneasy at that time, afraid something might happen again, and what if my mom got really angry? I didn't sleep well for the first three nights. Then on the fourth night, I woke up, and he wasn't there again. But this time there was no creaking or breathing; I could only hear people talking softly, and I couldn't make out what they were saying.

I only learned what happened a few years later from Lao Niu. When I peeked through the curtain, they were in the same bed, but covered up tightly and not moving. Lao Niu said he was actually terrified, but he couldn't hold it in. He missed my mom so much that after a few days he went to her place. At first, my mom told him to go back to sleep, to come back to my place, but he wouldn't leave and insisted on talking to her. My mom was driven crazy by him and had no choice but to respond with a few words, hoping he would finish talking and leave, but once he started talking, he couldn't stop. They ended up falling asleep in each other's arms. The next night, he went back to her place and talked to her again. By then, my mom was much calmer, and he had started to talk more. I had never heard him talk so much except when he was in my mom's bed. Although I couldn't understand what he was saying, later I asked him if they had done anything that night. He said they were just talking nonsense, talking about family, about the countryside, and other things. Because my mom had also lived in the countryside when she was little, she could talk about it. The two of them talked for three nights in total, and only made love again on the fourth night.

When I woke up this time, they were talking. I was too lazy to listen to them and was about to go back to sleep when I suddenly heard my mom's bed creak, followed by Lao Niu's rapid breathing. My heart skipped a beat, I felt something was up, but I didn't dare to look yet. Then I heard the bed board creak and the blankets shake, and Lao Niu started calling my mom's nickname again. I wanted to see how my mom would react, so I quietly lifted the corner of the curtain, closed one eye, and looked over with one eye. I saw Lao Niu on top of my mom again, grabbing my mom's wrists and pressing them to the sides like last time, his mouth constantly moving towards my mom's face, trying to kiss her. My mom kept turning her head back and forth to avoid him, struggling and whispering impatiently, "You're doing it again, aren't you annoying? Stop it." Lao Niu, panting, said, "Juan, don't move, straighten up and let me kiss you." He turned his head back and forth, following my mother's face, and finally managed to get her mouth. He immediately pressed his lips to hers, making loud kissing noises. My mother hummed softly through her nose, no longer resisting with her arms. After

kissing for a while, Old Niu was done. He released my mother's mouth, and my mother, panting, said, "Are you trying to suffocate me? I've let you kiss me, okay? Get off now." Old Niu didn't say a word, still on top of my mother, and reached his hand under the covers. My mother panicked and reached her hand in to stop him. The two of them struggled under the covers for a while. Suddenly, Old Niu moved and exhaled. My mother made a soft "hmm" sound, and the two of them stopped moving again. Old Niu reached his hand out from under the covers and started to take off my mother's thermal underwear. As mentioned before, my mother didn't like wearing a bra; she usually just wore a white tank top underneath. This time, Old Niu hadn't even had time to take off my mother's clothes before he slipped his hand inside her, and my mother's upper body was still covered. But Lao Niu, with one hand, quickly rolled up my mother's shirt, including her undershirt and vest, under her armpits, exposing her breasts. My mother didn't stop him at all while he was doing this; she lay there motionless. Only when he placed his hand on her breasts and started moving his lower body did she pull her hand out from under the covers and symbolically push his hand away. When he couldn't budge it, she stopped. After a few thrusts, my mother probably couldn't take it anymore. She covered her mouth with her hand, turning her face towards the wall, moaning softly with Lao Niu's movements. Several times, I felt like she wanted to scream but was desperately suppressing the sound. As Lao Niu continued, he lowered his head and kissed my mother's face, and my mother no longer tried to avoid him.

This time, Lao Niu lasted a little longer than last time. Near the end, just like before, he gripped my mother's breasts tightly with both hands, thrusting violently with his lower body, repeatedly calling out "Juan Juan, Juan Juan." Finally, he arched his back, froze, and let out a low growl before ejaculating. Then he lay motionless on top of my mother. After a while, he rolled off, pulled the blanket over both of them, and buried his head under the covers to talk to my mother. This time, I couldn't hear anything. So I lowered the curtain and went back to my pillow, inadvertently finding myself hard again. Just as I was about to masturbate to release my pent-up energy, I heard my mother's bed move slightly, followed by the sound of the blanket being pulled back. I was so scared I froze. Then I heard Lao Niu's voice say, "Juan, where are you going?" My mother replied impatiently, "Oh, I'm going to wash up," followed by the sound of her putting on her shoes and getting out of bed. Lao Niu said, "Wash what? Come on up, it's cold outside." My mom got even more impatient and said, "Shut your mouth! If you don't wash and get pregnant, will you raise the child?" Old Niu finally shut up. I risked lifting the curtain a little more and saw my mom take the basin off the stand, pour some hot water into it from the thermos, then scoop some cold water from the vat and pour it in. She then squatted down and started washing herself with her hands. I didn't dare watch any longer, so I lowered the curtain and quietly moved back. After a while, my mom finished washing, poured the water into the chamber pot, put the basin back, and then I heard her taking off her shoes and getting into bed. After that, although the two of them were still talking, I could

n't hear them anymore. From that day on, Old Niu would come over and do it every two or three days. At first, I would wake up, but later I got used to the creaking of the bed and couldn't hear it anymore. I slept until dawn. This continued until winter break, and they all thought I didn't know.

Soon after, winter break and the New Year came. After winter break and the start of the new semester, Old Niu stayed in our room for a few more days before moving back to the boys' dormitory. The main reason was that winter was over, and I was afraid people would say he was close to me and taking advantage of me. I had no idea whether they did anything during that time. Then, before May Day, the day before the holiday, my mom suddenly called me to her dorm. By then, I wasn't living in the same dorm as my mom anymore; I was living in the boys' dorm with Lao Niu. It was noon when my mom called me over, and there were hardly any people on campus. My mom told me to sit down and said, "Mom wants to talk to you about something, so keep your voice down." I said, "Okay." My mom then asked me, "What do you think of Lao Niu?" I said, "He's pretty good." My mom said, "Then I want to talk to you about something, but don't be angry." I said, "What's there to be angry about? Go ahead." My mom said, "Look, we've been here for so long, and we're still unfamiliar with the place. Thanks to Lao Niu's help, I think he's a pretty good kid. As for me, as a woman, there are some things I really can't do, and I can't rely on you." Old Niu has been so good to us, always taking good care of us. Mom originally treated him like one of your own children, never intending anything more than a romantic relationship. But these things are beyond our control, and Mom was caught in this situation. I hope you can understand me; what's done is done, and I hope you won't be angry. Then my mom asked me if I understood what she meant. Actually, I knew what she was trying to say from the start, so I said I knew, it's okay, Old Niu is my good brother, I won't say anything if you're close to him.

Then what my mom said next shocked me. She said, "You don't understand, you didn't get it. I'm telling you, prepare yourself." Mom was pregnant. I couldn't help but gasp. Thinking about it now, it's not surprising at all. When my mom came, she never imagined she'd have a relationship with another man here. She didn't take any precautions. There was a clinic in the village, but my mom was too afraid to go there to buy medicine or condoms, afraid of being recognized. The town was dozens of miles away, and my mom couldn't walk that far, plus she was too busy teaching to go. Old Niu always ejaculates inside me during sex, so my mom can only use washing to prevent pregnancy, which is completely unreliable; getting pregnant is inevitable.

After I let out a sound, my mom said, "Don't say 'ah,' listen to me." But I didn't listen to her at all; I stupidly asked, "Old Niu's?" My mom's face immediately fell, and she said, "Of course it's his, whose is it?" I said, "Then hurry up and get an abortion. Why are you telling me this? You have to tell him and make him go with you to get an abortion." Then my mom said, "Don't worry about that. He knows. I told him. He already knows. Let me continue, and you can speak after I finish." Then my mom said, "Originally, I also wanted to get an abortion, but then I told Old Niu first. After all, you're carrying someone else's child. If you want to get an abortion, you should let people know first. That's basic morality." Then I said, "I understand. But at first, Old Niu didn't know what to do either. When I said I'd get an abortion, he said okay." I originally planned to get an abortion during the May Day holiday, but the day before yesterday he changed his mind and wouldn't let me have one anymore. He wanted me to have the baby for him. I told him it was impossible. I have a husband and children; how could I have a baby for him? Besides, people would laugh at me for being so old. I'm not from this area, so it doesn't matter. He's young, and he still wants to get married. He should have some self-respect. Then he said he wouldn't get married; he only wanted me. He told me that everyone knows his family's situation, and there's no way any woman would want to be with him or marry him. He only asked me to be with him, to have the baby, and to carry on his family line. Later, his pleading made my mother very worried. My mother also knows his family's situation; there's no way any young woman would be willing to be with him. Seeing such a good young man become a bachelor because of poverty, my mother felt sorry for him. Besides, when my mother was a child, she had seen many poor bachelors in the village, and their lives were truly miserable. Thinking about this made her feel terrible. He made his mother feel sorry for him. This child in her belly was their family's only hope for carrying on the family line. If she aborted it, she didn't know how heartbroken the child would be, perhaps even mentally ruined.

Then I asked my mother, "What do you want?" To be honest, I could hear my own voice trembling. I said it was a clever move; if my father hadn't been constantly working on railway projects, my mother wouldn't have had the courage. My father only comes home once or twice a year. After I asked my mother, she said her thought was to keep the baby. My mother calculated that it was almost five months along. She was wearing loose clothes to cover herself, since I'm chubby and it wouldn't be noticeable. After summer vacation, when all the students went home, my mother planned to hold a wedding banquet with him. I immediately exclaimed, "You're just having the baby, why hold a banquet? Are you afraid people won't know?" My mother said, "I'm having his child, I need some recognition, otherwise, what am I? What am I?" Anyway, since they weren't going to get a marriage certificate, they just wanted to have a banquet as a formality. I was really dumbfounded this time. My mom saw that I didn't say anything, so she said, "Don't rush, this is just my plan. But I need your opinion first. If you don't agree, I don't care what he does, I'll get an abortion and never see him again. I'm just waiting for your word. Think about it, don't rush." Actually, at that time, I already knew that I had to agree, whether I wanted to or not. The deed was done. My mom had thought it through so thoroughly, which meant she had seriously considered it. So the next day, I told my mom that I agreed. Then my mom told me that they had discussed it, and if I agreed, she would go with Lao Niu to his parents' house to meet them during the May Day holiday. She asked if I was going. I said no. My mom left me some money to eat on my own for the next few days, and then she dressed up and went with Lao Niu to meet his parents.

Actually, I had been to Lao Niu's house before. If I hadn't, I might have actually gone with him. But I went there and felt it wouldn't make sense for me to go with them. Besides, their house was small and gloomy, and I wouldn't have anywhere to sleep, so I decided not to go and spent three days at school alone. Then on the third day, my mom and Lao Niu came back, carrying some things his mom had given them. They seemed quite happy. Anyway, my mom and Lao Niu's marriage was settled. With two months left in the semester, my mom's belly started to swell rapidly. Summer clothes were thin, and even the loosest ones couldn't hide my mom's belly and breasts; she looked like she was five or six months pregnant. And when two people are together, no matter how much they try to hide it, it's inevitable that some clues will show. Gradually, rumors about my mom and Lao Niu started circulating at school. At first, it was only among the faculty and staff, but later it started spreading among the students as well. The boys were okay, but the girls, in groups, were particularly good at gossiping. Sometimes, you could accidentally see several girls looking at Lao Niu and me and secretly laughing.

Later, I didn't care anymore, but the principal couldn't stand it anymore. My mom probably said something to the principal, so he held a meeting with the staff and told them to stop spreading these rumors. He mainly reasoned with them. First, my mom wasn't a bad person; she did it out of sympathy for Lao Niu. Everyone knew about Lao Niu's situation—if my mom didn't marry him, he wouldn't be able to find a wife. We've all lived here for so many years; we should understand the situation. He had some sympathy. Second, my mom was a rare good teacher at the school, and there were several promising students in this graduating class. If this got out and got me transferred, the students' future would be ruined. You know how it is in rural schools—the teaching conditions and teachers aren't good enough; not many students can get into top schools, and finding a good teacher is very difficult. Third, if this matter escalated, parents in poor mountain villages wouldn't want their children to go to school; if it became a big deal, they would have even more reason to keep their children away. If the dropout rate is too high, the school's work will lag behind the rest of the county, affecting funding allocations, policies, and even teachers' bonuses. So, not spreading rumors or making a fuss isn't just for their sake, but also for the school's own. The principal then asked the teachers to go back and convey this message to the students, especially since they wanted to go to school because it meant not having to do chores. This last point was crucial; nobody wanted to be taken home by their parents to do chores. So after the meeting, no one in the school, whether students or staff, spread these rumors anymore.

I mentioned our class monitor earlier. My mom had a severe reaction back then; she would often run out to vomit in the middle of class. Whenever she did, our class monitor would run out to help her. You can imagine how young we were, yet she already knew how to take care of her. Later, the girls followed suit; whenever my mom vomited, about two or three female class officers would go out with her. That year, coincidentally, my dad only came home for three days in the summer and couldn't come over in time. My mom just said she was tutoring the graduating class and brushed it off.

That July, after summer vacation started, my mother stayed at the principal's house, looked after by the principal's wife. Then, Lao Niu's family prepared for their wedding banquet. Later, on the 20th of the eighth lunar month, my mother left the principal's house. The day before the wedding, all the girls in my class came over, plastering the principal's house with "double happiness" characters everywhere, and surrounding my mother, asking her all sorts of questions and chatting. I felt embarrassed to stay inside with them, so the next morning, my mother, wearing a red dress and a red veil, heavily pregnant, got into the bridal sedan chair hired by Lao Niu's family. Lao Niu's aunt came to fetch the bride. The principal's wife, being part of the bride's family, was also there, and I went along to see her off. By the way, riding in a sedan chair wasn't about being old-fashioned or any particular custom; it was mainly because the mountain roads were impassable by car. In our area, outside the mountains, there were always car convoys, but here it was sedan chairs. I won't go into the specific procedures. When we arrived at their house, they set off firecrackers and worshipped heaven and earth. There were only four tables set up. After the worship and entering the bridal chamber, I slept at their neighbor's house. Anyway, my mom was nine months pregnant at that time. It wasn't that she didn't want to get married sooner, but the date chosen by the fortune teller was the only suitable one. The next morning, she said goodbye and left.

My mom and Lao Niu stayed at Lao Niu's house for a week before returning to school. They held a four-table banquet at the principal's house as a return visit. Actually, Lao Niu's mother wanted my mom to stay at their house until she gave birth, but my mom's reasons were twofold: firstly, she was teaching a graduating class, and secondly, staying at the school would be closer to the township health center, making it more convenient to give birth than staying at their house. In fact, this issue started to cause some unpleasantness between my mom and her mother-in-law. Later, on the day my mom was about to give birth, she was still writing lesson plans the night before, and then she started having contractions in the middle of the night. She was taken to the township health center in the morning and gave birth in less than half an hour. While we were taking my mom to the health center, we asked one of Lao Niu's children from the same village to run back and tell Lao Niu's mother the news. Lao Niu's mother brought a can of chicken soup in the afternoon, but when she heard that it was a girl, her face immediately fell, and she didn't even go into the ward before leaving. Lao Niu and I then comforted my mom, saying that it was a long way and that her mother-in-law would come the next day. Fortunately, they came the next day, but the chicken soup was gone, so they brought some eggs and then routinely took care of my mother during her postpartum period. My mother spent her postpartum period at the principal's wife's house, and only moved to the school dormitory after her confinement period. Lao Niu's mother moved there too. Lao Niu used to live with my mother, but now he's gone back to the boys' dormitory with me. My mother was 43 at the time, and Lao Niu's mother was 41. Back then, some children were ignorant and would try to peek into my mother's dormitory through the window, but Lao Niu's mother always chased them away.

During winter break, my mother and I had to go back home, leaving the baby with my mother-in-law. The principal's wife helped me find a folk remedy to stop lactation, and my mother took a few doses, afraid that my father would find out when we got home. But I think my father probably did notice something, though he didn't say anything, since having a child makes a noticeable difference in one's body. We finally managed to get through the New Year, managing to keep it from my father, and then winter break ended and school started again. This was my and Lao Niu's last semester; we were about to graduate from junior high. My mom didn't teach for the second half of last semester because of childbirth, so she came back to teach the graduating class. On the first day of the new semester, the class monitor led the whole class in standing up and applauding to welcome my mom. She had taken medication to stop lactation, so her milk supply had dried up, but otherwise, teaching while breastfeeding would have been too much for her. Lao Niu's mom never left; she only went back for the Lunar New Year, and then came back after the semester started, since conditions here are better. That's when things got out. My dad suddenly showed up during the May Day holiday and cornered my mom, Lao Niu, the kids, and his mom in the house. I had no idea. When I arrived, the principal and his people had already dragged my dad out of the house. As he was being dragged out, he cursed my mom for being shameless, and when he saw me, he accused me of being a traitor, and he also cursed the principal and everyone at the school. He was dragged out of the campus while cursing. My mom didn't dare see him after that. I didn't dare go into the principal's office either; only my dad, the principal, and a few teachers were in the principal's office. I don't know what the principal said to him, but he managed to get rid of him. A few days later, my mom went back home and told me she and my dad had divorced. Except for a house in the county town registered in my mom's name, everything else went to my dad, and I stayed with my mom. Since I was a traitor, my dad definitely wouldn't want me.

After the divorce, my mom prioritized our graduating class. Three students from our class got into top provincial high schools, the best result in our graduating class ever. I got into a regular high school, and Lao Niu didn't get into any. Since my mom was divorced, she didn't go back home much that summer. Lao Niu couldn't continue his studies and rented a place near the school. Someone in the village owned a brick factory, and Lao Niu worked there. My mom moved out of the school dormitory to live with Lao Niu. That summer, except for a trip back to the county town to prepare my high school things, she spent the rest of the time in the village with Lao Niu. The children were sent back to Lao Niu's mother's house. For a while, I called my mom "sister-in-law," and she scolded me. I said, "You're my brother's woman, what else should I call you but sister-in-law?" No matter what she said, I kept calling her that, until my mom got really annoyed and almost got into a fight with me, so I stopped.

But this didn't last long. When I went home to see my mom during the National Day holiday in October, it wasn't really a homecoming anymore, since my home was in the county town and I was going to the village—that was my mom's house. Then that bastard Lao Niu secretly told me that he'd gotten my mom pregnant again, a full year away from giving birth. I was furious and yelled at him, but my mom stopped me, and I almost got into a fight with her too. Later, I gradually realized that my mom was also angry with Lao Niu's mom. Lao Niu's mom was resentful that my mom hadn't given birth to a son. She was always acting like a mother-in-law to my mom, constantly muttering about how great it would be if it were a grandson, which made my mom decide that she could just get pregnant again—after all, one child was the same as two, and she was pretty much throwing caution to the wind. But at that time, it wasn't confirmed; it was just a possibility that my mom was pregnant because her period hadn't come the previous month. When I came back for the Chinese New Year, my mother had confirmed that she was pregnant. This time it was much easier than last time; the students at the school had all changed, and no one was gossiping anymore.

Later, when I went back to see my mom after the second semester of my first year of high school, which was during the summer vacation of that year, my mom gave birth again. This time it was a boy, and Lao Niu's mom finally shut up. I took care of her for half a month during her postpartum period, and let me tell you, it was awful. I'll just briefly recount what happened after that, since this time I didn't have to worry about my dad. My mom breastfed the baby until he was weaned. When the baby was weaned, my mom's teaching term was over, and she found someone to transfer her back to the city, but not to the county's No. 1 high school anymore, but to the county's No. 2 high school. After that, Lao Niu also came to the city with my mom. My mom taught, and he worked odd jobs everywhere, while his mother raised the child in the village. Later, my mom felt that Lao Niu's work-study lifestyle wasn't sustainable, so she found someone to get him into a vocational school, where he learned to be an electrician. Originally, my mom wanted him to go to the vocational education center in the city, but Lao Niu's mom was afraid that if Lao Niu didn't keep an eye on her, she would run away. So she insisted on him attending the technical school in our county, coming home every night and not living on campus. Two years later, after graduating, Lao Niu was just the right age, so he and my mom went to get their marriage certificate. My mom was officially married to Lao Niu. On the day they got their certificate, my mom invited a few relatives and friends to sit together, and that was about it. Lao Niu worked as a plumber and electrician, while my mom taught. Later, when the two children were four or five years old, they were brought from their grandmother's house to attend kindergarten in the city. Now they are both in elementary school. After graduating from university, I also returned to the county and worked at the county environmental protection bureau. However, I usually live in the bureau's dormitory and only go home on weekends. After returning home, the two children call me brother and Lao Niu dad. Sometimes I jokingly call my mom sister-in-law, and my mom isn't too angry. But I still prefer Lao Niu to call my mom Juan. My dad never used to call my mom by her nickname. When he needed to call her, he would just say "Hey!" or "Hi!" Now, every time I hear Lao Niu call my mom Juan, I think of what happened that night.

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