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Raped by her brother 

We lived in the countryside. Several years ago, my father left behind my brother, my mother, and a pile of IOUs that my mother had carried on her back, and started living with another woman. Since then, my father has never brought money home, and he doesn't take responsibility for the money he borrowed for gambling, completely acting as if we have nothing to do with him anymore.






My mother tried to find my father several times, but she couldn't find him each time. Because she didn't have any special skills, my mother found a low-paying job in a factory to support my brother and me. She had to leave home at six in the morning to go to the factory in a nearby big city, and after returning home at night, she had to do handicrafts to supplement the family income. It was really hard work, so I would help my mother with my homework after I finished it, and chat with her while I did.






That year, I was in the second year of junior high school. My brother was two years older than me; he had already graduated from junior high, but because he hadn't studied, he couldn't get into a higher school and was currently unemployed and not studying.






Because my mother hadn't had time to discipline my brother, he started to change after starting junior high. He was often away from home for days at a time, just hanging out with a group of bad friends on motorcycles, no longer studying, and had started smoking and drinking.






This brother was very different from the brother he used to be. My older brother used to help with crafts at night, and he wouldn't run around. He also liked to chat with us, but he doesn't anymore...






My mother scolded him many times at first, but he still did the same thing. In the end, my mother gave up on him and just told him not to mess around outside. My brother would simply answer "okay" every time, so I believe that my mother hasn't completely given up on him.






Moreover, my brother never talked back when Mom scolded him, so I, like Mom, believed he was just going through a wild phase of puberty and would be fine after he finished his military service… But






Mom never expected, and neither did I, that this brother would rape me in the middle of the night when Mom was working overtime at the factory…






Actually, we probably would have done this much earlier, because Mom and I should have noticed my brother's inappropriate desires towards me much sooner. Several times, even though I was showering and the door was closed and locked, my brother would open it and run in saying he needed to use the bathroom, accusing me of not locking the door. Each time, I would crouch on the floor, screaming, before he would leave… But Mom always said my brother didn't do it on purpose, so I could only believe it too, which led to him…






That day, Mom called home and said there was a shipment at the factory that needed to be shipped out early the next morning, so she wouldn't be coming home that day. I wanted to tell my brother, and I waited for him to come home, but he didn't, so I went back to my room to sleep.






That night, because the bed was shaking slightly, I woke up in the middle of the night. The first thing I saw when I woke up was my brother's face.






He looked at me with surprise, and I, still half-asleep, just stared at him.






Then it suddenly dawned on me that he was in my room in the middle of the night, his body on top of mine. I was startled and, on high alert, quickly tried to speak: "What are you doing—"






But I couldn't finish my sentence. He just covered my mouth and kept warning me fiercely: "If you make a sound, I'll hit you!"






I panicked. I thought he might be trying to assault me. I was trying to warn my mother, who was sleeping in the next room, to come and rescue me when I remembered that she was working overtime at the factory and it was just my brother and me at home…






I kept looking at him fearfully, pushing him away with my hands, unable to believe he would do such a thing to me. He kept looking at me nervously and kept telling me not to make a fuss or resist.






Then I smelled alcohol on his breath, and I realized he had been drinking. I thought he was drunk.






I kept nodding to my brother, and stopped pushing him away, indicating that I wouldn't resist. Only then did my brother slightly relax and remove his hand from my mouth.






"Brother... are you drunk?"






But my brother didn't answer. He just nervously called my name, repeatedly saying, "Don't resist, brother really likes you, and wants to try making love with you..."






After saying a few more words to comfort me, he started pulling down my pajama bottoms.






I anxiously begged my brother to stop and started resisting with my hands and kicking my legs. My brother actually punched me in the face, making me scream in pain and cry out in fear.






I kept crying and begging him to stop. After being hit a few more times, my brother finally stopped hitting me and yelled at me, "If you resist again, I'll hit you again!"






By then, I didn't dare to resist anymore. I just couldn't believe my brother would actually hit me, and my face hurt so much from the blows, so I kept crying and protecting my face with my hands.






I only remember crying with my face covered, and my brother nervously warning me not to resist anymore. Then he started unbuttoning my pajamas.






When my clothes were undone, I felt a chill on my chest. My brother then touched my bra and roughly pushed it away. I started to resist frantically because I was a middle school student at the time, and I had many beautiful fantasies about sex. I only wanted to have sex with the boy I liked, and I didn't want to be raped, especially not have my virginity taken away like this, especially by my own brother…






I screamed and pushed him away with both hands, trying to hit him, but my brother was stronger than me. After I resisted, he really started hitting me, even harder than before, making me completely dizzy. I felt my mouth was broken and bleeding, so I could only lie back on the bed crying, covering my face with my hands, begging him to stop.






My brother started swearing and said many things to me, but I couldn't hear any of them; I just kept crying. Then I felt my brother touching my breasts, roughly pinching and kneading them, but all I felt was pain. Then I felt my brother sucking and biting with his teeth. It really hurt, but I still didn't dare to resist. I just felt my mouth was full of the taste of blood, and the broken parts were still hurting.






My brother finally started taking off my pajama bottoms. I knew I was about to be raped, but I couldn't do anything, and I was too afraid to do anything. All I could do was cry and beg my mother to come home and save me.






After my pajama bottoms and underwear were off, I started crying again, begging my brother to stop, but he didn't answer. He just spread my legs and bent them upwards, and then I felt him immediately press down on me. It felt like something hot and hard was pressing against my genitals…






I suddenly realized my brother was about to violate me, and just as I was desperately begging him to stop, he suddenly groaned and pushed his body forward, and that hot, hard thing entered my body.






It didn't actually hurt much, just like being scratched, but I still knew I had been violated, and I could feel him thrusting inside me.






Feeling my brother's penis inside my anus made me cry even harder, constantly thinking that I was no longer a virgin, and that my brother was raping me.






My brother breathed a satisfied sigh, and then started moving his body. I could feel his penis moving inside me to some extent.






Sex was completely uncomfortable, and there was no pleasure whatsoever, especially being raped. I only felt a slight burning pain; there was absolutely no other pleasure. Sometimes my brother would grab my breasts, and of course, I only felt pain.






Then, after what seemed like an eternity, my brother let out a soft moan without moving, only his penis inside me twitching slightly.






At that time, I didn't realize my brother had ejaculated inside me until he pulled out, satisfied, and lay on top of me to rest.






I cried on and off, feeling a strange pain down there, and I was terrified of getting pregnant, but my brother ignored me, not saying a word, as if he were asleep.






After a while, once I was sure he was asleep, I pushed him away and slowly got out of bed, feeling something cool flowing from my groin. I knew what it was, but I could only cry as I went to the bathroom.






I saw my swollen face through the bathroom window, blood still trickling from my mouth. Especially when I saw the thick liquid flowing from my groin, running down my thighs, I cried uncontrollably, terrified of being pregnant.






I kept rinsing with water, but it felt like no matter how much I washed, I couldn't get clean; it was as if I had become filthy. I started to hate my brother and even wanted to commit suicide.






Suddenly, the bathroom door opened, and I saw my brother about to come in. I screamed and grabbed a pair of scissors from inside the bathroom to stab him, trying to protect myself.






My brother just knelt down and kept apologizing, saying he didn't mean to hurt me, that he was drunk, and that he liked me, which was why he wanted to be with me like this.






I completely ignored him, only threatening to kill him if he didn't leave. He stood there for a few more minutes before finally leaving.






I immediately locked the door and grabbed anything I could to block the entrance, making sure he wouldn't suddenly come back in. Of course, I dared not leave the bathroom, afraid he would hurt me again if I did.






So, I washed myself down there until morning, crying as I did so. Finally, I heard my mother come home, and only then did I feel relieved enough to go to the bathroom. I found my brother wasn't home, and I cried as I told my mother that I had been raped by him the night before…






My mother was also crying and couldn't believe what had happened to me. Because she was afraid I was pregnant, she immediately took me to the hospital. However, the doctor could tell I had been sexually assaulted, and since I was only a junior high school student and a minor, the doctor insisted we tell the truth and called the police.






I wanted to tell the police that my brother had raped me, but my mother first said that I had been raped by a thief who broke in at night, which I couldn't believe.






When the police questioned me, my mother kept nodding sadly, begging me to answer her questions. She kept apologizing, saying that my brother was a boy, the bloodline of the family, and that I should be patient… Because of this incident, my mother and I became less close, and after high school, I moved out to live on my own whenever I could find a part-time job. Because after being raped by my brother and then betrayed by my mother, I suddenly felt there was no point in staying in that family anymore.






Later, my brother only came home once, when he was in the third year of junior high school and still living with my mother. But my mother beat him with a broom while crying, constantly yelling at him for doing such a thing to me, and then he never came back.






I didn't want to see him at all; I just locked myself in my room and started crying again…






because seeing him then really brought back the memory of being raped and the pain of being betrayed by my mother…






So, after entering the workforce, I never dated anyone, I had absolutely no feelings for men, I just focused on working hard, using that as a way to affirm myself.






Even today, when I think back to that night, I still feel a sharp pain in my heart, a deep, agonizing pain…

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